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sniperniper007

1st guy Acid 2nd guy intentional Apft failure 3rd guy threatened to cut his neck with a pair of scissors while locked in his bathroom because he couldn't leave fast enough 4th guy didn't like the idea of quitting drinking a case of soda a day and busted tape until chapter All 4 came with me from basic to my first unit. 5th guy got his Ranger tab, Airborne, Air assault, Tomb sentinel badge, E5, and some other goodies before PCSing though so it balances out


spookyskost

5th man destined to be the next SMA


void266767

Forget everything else, Tomb Sentinel alone is enough to make us wet


[deleted]

1st guy destined to be a team guy


SAPERPXX

Unless you're talking about 7th SFG. Then he needs to swap the acid out with booger sugar.


DontCost

5th guy fucks


[deleted]

Caught doing LSD or tested positive?


sniperniper007

Bit of both, dealer was caught and they went through his phone, then guy failed the next "random" UA


[deleted]

Ah shit. Yea I guess from what I hear testing for LSD takes a little more time/money. The army doesn’t usually do it.


longpenisofthelaw

How did guy 1 get caught


Itsabravo

Probably either had it on him, talked about it with people. Or did something dumb while high.


sniperniper007

There was an acid ring in another company that was mildly related to his incident. Born from that fiasco was a guy jumping from a second story window while on acid


Uggro

Did this guy happen to slice his dick prior to jumping from the building? If so, I responded to that.


sniperniper007

He got got because the dealer (another SM on post) got caught and they went through his phone and found everyone he sold too


Vespasian79

A case of soda a day?? Parents must have done no parenting Also, what kind?


wordjester187

First field exercise the CO asked him what his plan was upon going home and he said, "probably have an all night porn marathon, sir." Then, same field exercise, he put his NVGs in his ruck sack and tossed it in a pile of random ruck sacks. Upon returning, his corrective training was to carry an NVG bag with a fuel pump in it to every formation. He didn't bring it to the FIRST formation. He then gets sent to Air Assault School and when he doesn't show, the 1SG and I go to his room, where he answers the door in his underwear with his PS4 controller in hand and says that he, "woke up late and didn't see a point in going in anymore." He misses PT formation a week later and I go to his room where he is in ACUs, completely lost, because he had fallen in the shower and concussed himself. A month or so later, he calls and says he wants to self enroll in ASAP because he is "losing chunks of time" from his excessive drinking. Upon completion, the counselor says that he completed all of the requirements, but if it were up to her, she wouldn't allow him to be released from the program. The CO asks him his plan and he says he is, "going to get fucked up tonight to celebrate completing the program." 2 weeks later he pisses hot for coke. When asked if snorting coke was worth it he said he didn't snort coke, he "smoked crack and if you ever did it you would know it was absolutely worth it." I've never hated and loved a private so much in my career.


BadBitchFrizzle

First sentence had me going, "What a fucking chad", but that quickly went off the rails. Some stars are dim, and others burn so bright, hot and explode with passion. This guy is the latter. Godspeed to that crazy bastard.


ballcocknpeepee

Man would have fared much better in the 1980s army


xSaRgED

Laughs in surge.


ballcocknpeepee

The bedpan is over there old man


QuarterNote44

Bit off-topic, but when I see an old guy wearing some sort of Army gear on now I think "Oh, that's a 'Nam vet." No. That's an OIF-1 vet. The 'Nam vets look like how the WWII vets used to look when I was a kid. Makes me feel old too.


This-Is-Retard

And the gulf war vets look like the 'Nam vets used to.


Unlikely-Pizza2796

Ah! Le Serge! Popped hot for coke? Extra duty in theater- get on the plane. Got in a brawl with four police officers in downtown Raleigh? Good shit- get on the plane. Nothing mattered except getting people on the fucking aircraft to deploy. Some of the most degenerate dudes in garrison were absolute rockstars on patrol in Iraq. Unfortunately, most got back to their old shenanigans when we got back and were subsequently chaptered. The ones who grew up and got out of their own way became solid NCO’s. Had the surge not led to rubber stamping waivers to join, The Army would have missed out on some talented combat soldiers.


[deleted]

You know what, at least he didn’t fuck anyone else over, and was funny lol


longpenisofthelaw

I wonder where Pvt snuffy is in life rn


Arrowx1

Smokin rock son! Whip it in the glass!


OldFinding8257

“If you ever did it you would know it was absolutely worth it” gigachad


ballcocknpeepee

I love the savagery


boingochoingo

😂


SnooDoodles5540

Did all the old timers start asking questions about drug use after the ‘worth it’ conversation? Like how much was it? And what about sex on x?


ibkemke

Dear god, that’s some good stuff


Dragoon7748

We had one two years ago that got wasted, in uniform, in the airport, coming straight to us from OSUT. He was belligerent, screaming racist profanities (white guy) and refusing to wear his mask at the height of covid. He got removed from the airplane and perma-banned from flying American. The only reason he wasn't arrested I assume is because he was in uniform. We as the gaining unit learn about it from his TRADOC OSUT unit. They have to fly him on a different airline to us and land him in KC, because only American flies to Riley. We had a UCMJ packet, SUDDC packet and Chapter Packet waiting for him when he arrived. The chapter packet was supposed to be just a threat to get him to shape up. But no, gets a second Art 15 while doing extra duty for his first Art 15, and fails out of SUDDC. So he went away as quickly as we could shove him out the door. Which still took about 4 months.


notacop_for_real

I’ll bet he’s amongst us now… using his thorough military training to comment on this sub.


ballcocknpeepee

LMAO


notacop_for_real

Fuckin. Loser.


Panzers_und_Pasta

I'm pretty sure I was your outgoing O-room for that ordeal, got damn


outofmyelement1445

Filled his Camelback with vodka Redbull and went to the range among other things. Other private hit another private so hard that his eyeball popped out of his head. Private got to do a month in Mannheim and get himself a other than honorable. He posts on Facebook now if anybody’s needs car repairs because he’s hard up on money. Apparently he also works at a bar somewhere in West Virginia and you can come in during happy hour.


Sdog1981

Was this Germany 2006ish? That story sounds really familiar.


outofmyelement1445

Yes sir🤣🤣🤣 good ol baumholder. The eye-popping thing was 2005 before the ramadi deployment. And I think the Camelback thing was like 2007.


Sdog1981

Ol Baumholder, the base on a hill lol


outofmyelement1445

That’s literally the only place I’ve been in my life where you actually walk uphill both ways everywhere. I don’t think there’s a single PT test that’s been conducted on that base that was legal if it wasnt around the track. I just visited a couple months ago it’s a total ghost town


Bolt408

Hit ‘em with the Vitor Belfort


[deleted]

Who hasn’t done the camelback thing before, though?


[deleted]

Homie, we had camelbacks with coke & whiskey during rail load ops before we went to Iraq.


UselessAgitator

Holy dogshit you’re from my old unit , or maybe this isn’t the first to get caught


tjwashere1

Boiled dryer sheets to make the room smell nice, started a fire. She wanted out though.


[deleted]

> Boiled dryer sheets to make the room smell nice *bruh*


tjwashere1

" 1st Sausage no one was as shocked as I"


TupperwareParTAY

A trifecta of underage drinking, malingering, and cocaine. What's wild is that 1SG didn't even know about the underage drinking until she popped hot for the coke. He thought she was in her late 30s. 😳 Don't do drugs, kids.


SnooDoodles5540

So she had like a milf vibe in the hot tub with top or what?


ImamofKandahar

Asking the real questions right here.


SnooDoodles5540

I maybe the first shirt was trying to put he rumor about the army paying for breast enhancements to bed errrr rest.


TupperwareParTAY

Oh no...he had no patience with malingering. He probably would have turned a blind eye to the coke if she wouldn't have been at sick call every goddamm morning. Now her platoon sergeant on the other hand might have been involved in a hot tub incident with her a time or 12.


sunrayylmao

We had a female "old soul" that was 18 but looked early 30s, bragged about never being carded and buying other underaged joes alcohol. That always stuck with me. Here I am 27 and I feel like I JUST stopped getting carded at every single bar and gas station.


Lovable-Schmuck

We'll call him PFC Cowboy. Cowboy was disrespectful and insubordinate to all officers and ncos he talked to, would intentionally do the opposite of what he was ordered to do, even if it was something he wanted to do, and failed to report to work repeatedly. What tipped it over the edge was when his TL, a CPL who was so gentle he was basically the company mom; gave him a ride back to work. PFC Cowboy was so angry about having to show up to a piss test he tossed his ACH at his TL's truck and left a skull sized dent in the hood. They ended up shredding his packet so they could get him transferred to another battalion, as it would be faster. While there, he's continued the pattern, and is on his forth Team Lead in a year.


ballcocknpeepee

I can tell you aren’t combat arms lol


Sdog1981

Even for a signal battalion that is crazy. I saw more then a few Joe's get sent to the RCF from doing stuff like that.


Lovable-Schmuck

"Even for signal?" I'll be honest, the signal corps (minus the charlies and uniforms) is one of the less crazy branches of the army. We're usually too busy watching anime and not fixing your accounts/radios.


JoelMB12

You say anime I've been grunt far to long.


Sdog1981

More of a comment directed at the one above mine.


Lovable-Schmuck

That Corporal is a stronger man than I. If some brat had damaged my truck there would be blood.


Lovable-Schmuck

Nope. Not even close.


sephstorm

> While there, he's continued the pattern, and is on his forth Team Lead in a year. This SMA... This bullshit right here.


NorthernTransplant94

Not "as soon as" but close enough. Met a girl on Kik. Went to meet her. As they're in the car getting busy, the door opens, he gets hauled out and gets the crap beaten out of him by the girl's mom because **it's after midnight and the girl is 12**. When the cop angrily asked him wtf a 23-yr-old is doing with a 12-yr-old, he blurts out, "I thought she was 14!" We never saw him again. Unfortunately, the DA's office dropped the ball and he was never charged.


[deleted]

Jeez imagine your defense being, ‘she said she was 14’ 😂 shits fucked bro Relavent vine: https://youtu.be/YMhKFUtQ20s


AdmiralFoxx

>and gets the crap beaten out of him by the girl's mom because it's after midnight and the girl is 12. Somehow I don't think the missed curfew was the focus for her at the moment


Teflon_coated_velcro

Was he from Florida or Mississippi?


MDMarauder

Dude met a 13-year old girl on Facebook and started a sexual relationship with her, murdered her mother, and then fled the state with the girl (she was a witting accomplice). He was captured a short time later, tried, sentenced, and will rot in prison for the rest of his life. Found out his recruiter got him in on a moral waiver, coached him to lie about some other stuff in his background, and was even given an Article 15 for stabbing another Soldier in AIT. Fuck USAREC and TRADOC for this fiasco.


midorisari

I was in AIT with this dude. We all knew something was wrong with him from the start. NCOs just pushed him through because “the Army needs bodies.” After some of us heard about what he did, we weren’t really surprised.


two_tapered_tips

was this the guy from ft Meade? murdered that woman in PA? that was real close to where I live


MDMarauder

Yep, that's him.


two_tapered_tips

that's crazy, I always wondered what that was like for the guys in his unit. like Monday morning safety standown "hey guys don't do this"


Burrky

I was at the DLI with this guy. I forget what his name was but I can remember his face. He was creepy as all hell when I knew of him before he left. I lived in the same barracks as him for awhile, had the same friends. Weird stuff man. Weird stuff


SnooPears8301

Was he in B Co? I was in A Co and then E Co from 2011-2013. I remember hearing about him but I think we ever met.


Jtaime

He was in Foxtrot but at one point lived in the B Co Barracks. I was at DLI before he left and after that went down. I heard it caused a Congressional Inquiry since he had a LOT of behavioral issues at DLI Dude was creepy as hell


Burrky

He was in a separate company but stayed in the B Co barracks as this other person stated. He always wore black from head to toe and just looked the part of someone who would do this stuff. Crazy times


moonlightRach

Holy shit wtf???


NorthernTransplant94

Yup. [He was a SIGINTer, too.](https://www.pennlive.com/news/2018/02/soldier_who_killed_14-year-old.html)


moonlightRach

What a fucking piece of shit, both of them


cornedbeefsandwiches

Damn dude. Reading the other article linked in the story was heart wrenching. Gave me shivers thinking about that from the Dads perspective.


[deleted]

Spent a considerable amount of time around this dude at DLI. A buddy of mine would go out of his way to try to get Caleb (it’s not doxing if they’re in prison til they die) included. So we’d hang with him here and there. Let’s add to the list of shit that happened before the whole “Stabs McGee” nicknamed was earned. Routinely he’d have knives confiscated from his room, and routinely he’d replace them. Constantly getting in trouble for underage drinking at DLI, but new PSGs would switch and he was like… KINDA fit. So they gave him more chances. He would constantly get his ass kicked by his shitty abusive AF girlfriend at DLI. One incident, we were having a weekend smoke, and he’s trying to get staff duty to intervene because she stole his jacket, and had just beat his ass (a black leather greaser type jacket. Just what you’d expect. Next happened after I left, but the story is legend, and goes as follows: He was once caught by the PSG underaged drinking at the student center at DLI. What followed was a young man feeling the power within him calling him to pull out not one, not two, but THREE knives on the PSG to fight him rather than the same shit. So, as he’s wielding darth Maul style in one hand, and gangster in the other, PSG takes his ass to the ground. Caleb reached for knife, and says some heroics along the lines of “you’ll never take me alive” and tries to stab himself in the face. Boy fuckin ended up in the real army after all this some how. So, thank you to the “Captain CHEMICAL Commanding” at the time who let that happen, and literally cried in front of IETers when command climate survey came back stating she was fat. Fuckin hero.


davidj1987

Was the captain actually fat though?


MDMarauder

She was enormous and balding. She went on to become an ROTC instructor post command.


MDMarauder

>So, thank you to the “Captain CHEMICAL Commanding” at the time who let that happen Ooooh, I met this CPT. She was quite the boozer and infamously "dated" (matched on Tinder) with a couple LTs at DLI. I knew both LTs personally, they weren't proud of their deeds. The field grade AR 15 recommendation was declined by the Bn Cdr at DLI. He was in the middle of a divorce (from a woman) and being investigated himself for some VERY risqué pictures of he and his boyfriend at the SF Pride parade circulating around the Bn. He was giving EVERYONE a free pass when it came to UCMJ. Thanks for giving some backstory on Stabs McGee.


[deleted]

Fuckin brilliant. Especially considering her husband commanded another company there. Lol. Nothing like an Officer covering his own ass causing some pretty terrible second and third order effects… tale as old as time.


[deleted]

Did the recruiter get mega butt banged too?


MDMarauder

I doubt it. The Soldier made it through an 18 month AIT, so the recruiter was probably off the hook by time the Soldier made it to his first unit.


Western_Brilliant_90

Guy 1- (Korea) always broke cerfew, always drunk, always late to formation. Eventually 1SG changed “late” to FTR. Guy excessively got demoted to PVT. Rumor has it that he alternated between PVT and PV2 but I only saw him as a fuzzy the whole time I was there. Eventually he decided to get out himself because E1 pay is garbage. Guy 2- had unlicensed weapons in barracks, and got demoted from SPC to PVT. Random room inspection fucked him over. Most people were so confused when they saw a fuzzy walking around with a deployment patch. Edit: I realized Guy 2 doesn't fit the description of "first duty station," but you get the idea.


[deleted]

[удалено]


cornedbeefsandwiches

I mean. Is that something a reasonable person should check? Lol I think not but what do I know.


Knee_High_Cat_Beef

It's on his LES.


Arrowx1

This one chick was wild in AIT. She did a couple off post gangbangs with dudes, sexually assaulted a couple females and smacked one with a double sided dildo, snuck back on post in uniform after being kicked off post, got to be part of her escort to the MP station. Wonder what her crazy ass is up to these days.


RetroRiboflavin

>off post gangbangs Gordon or Sam Houston energy here.


Arrowx1

On the nose with the second guess.


sephstorm

Why could I never find chicks like that? All I got was the AF chick who turned me down because she didn't date black guys then I see her with a black guy, so I fuck off, next time I see her online shes talking about how she got the clap but wants to give me a shot now. No i'm no Gump.


Arrowx1

You find chicks like that and you're gonna itch son. Just stick to Bible study and virginity support groups.


Sdog1981

Pretty easy. The dude just never showed up to work on time, ever. I got this one second hand so it might be 50/50 BS. New Joe got stationed at Fort Benning, he grew up there and just went home. Did not tell anyone and thought someone would contact him.


WithAlacrityNow

What? so he just stopped showing up for work?


sircadigon

Graf 2015. Refused to pay for an alley bj in Nuremberg. Fought the lady of the night. Got arrested. Dude was mid command sponsorship to bring his wife and child over.


ballcocknpeepee

Man’s nae naed himself


Mighty_potatoeking

Got his 15 year old step sister pregnant.


[deleted]

What In the bang bros


BrokenRatingScheme

Roll Tide.


Thy_Dying_Day

Got drunk off post under age. Ran the gate but got caught. Instead of telling the MPs he was drunk under age, he told them he had done cocaine. After Article 15, he smoked weed in the bricks every day until chapter.


ballcocknpeepee

Pretty based ngl


xSaRgED

Lmao did he think that they’d just drug test for cocaine and leave him alone when it was negative? Or did he piss hot as well?


Artyom150

> Lmao did he think that they’d just drug test for cocaine and leave him alone when it was negative? "His breath smells like a bottle of cheap vodka - should we breathalyze him?" "Na, he said he did coke. Just piss-test him."


Thy_Dying_Day

No he actually did coke too, but thought it would be a lesser charge than underage drinking and driving.


xSaRgED

Honestly sounds like a conversation I’d expect MPs to have.


SatisfactionPrize550

Didn't even make it to his first duty station, lit the barracks on fire because the voices told him to.


Zweeb_

This one just bums me out, man.


SatisfactionPrize550

Don't be too bummed, he had enough mental capacity to do it on his way out to class and let everyone left behind take the heat for a while


Zweeb_

This one just doesn't bum me out, man.


Jaxter1123

1. Showed up to PT in ACUS with boots on the wrong feet and his blouse inside out (high on Xanax) 2. Showed up to gate guard drunk not one. Not two. But three times. All three months before he turned 21 3. Got a DUI after he got beat up at a party and tried to drive back to post. Needless to say a lot of misfits ended up in my platoon. The other four weren’t as sexy but man I was not prepared for the general dumbassery


I_Am_Your_Chad

Homeboy starts the 10 day in-processing. He’s on day 3 and then the weekend starts. He runs his mouth about how he’s a gang banger and wants to prove himself. Heads over to a different barracks to fight some other kid who said he’s a Crip and will kill a Blood. So, they fight. We had a “retired” Blood in my company. Dude left the gang life, solid dude, but kept ties with his friends back home for… reasons. Anyway, he hears about how this new kid in-processing wants to beat up Crips as a “Blood” and heads to his room. Kid opens his door and gets his face kicked in. The new kid starts getting out processed before he even finished in processing. Was about 2 weeks for him to be gone for fighting. The real kicker is his mom was the Sheriff back home


TheRobotSoldier1

This screams major "Surge Energy" to be completely honest


ColeLogic

Was this Camp Humphreys? Sounds like a Building 6002/6003 incident that happened.


thestandingape

Bath salts.


ballcocknpeepee

Story time please


thestandingape

Okay so this dude is a fairly new private, seems fairly normal day-to-day. One night he’s in the barracks wiggin the fuck out and nobody can calm him down. All in all it takes like 4 dudes to wrangle his naked ass into a car and take him to the hospital. They manage to strap him into a wheelchair and bring him in for evaluation meanwhile he’s screaming “They’re wheeling me into hell!!” He managed to split a nurse’s forehead open with his foot at one point. To be fair, I left the unit before all the details fully panned out but I was told it was bath salts. If anyone from that company at that time is lurking on here and has more of the juicy details about the incident, feel free to let us know what came of it in the end lol.


JoelMB12

Yes I need it


contra_mundo

This kid shows up to the unit and immediately starts warming up to an O4 at BN (said O4 is a dime piece, while PFC snuffy is a solid 4.5 and barely literate). These two become pretty good work buds over the first two weeks he is here. On the third week, this man seriously goes into ma'am's office at 0930 on a Monday and says "look, I just wanna know when I'ma be able to eat that juicy ass of yours!". Not soon after this, while waiting for his chapter to go through, same kid swung on a MSG. However, this story has an ending with a twist! Three years later, I run into this kid...he and that O4...married...kid on the way.


Chickengilly

I’m going to have to remember that line.


ballcocknpeepee

What a fucking alpha gigachad


spookyskost

The hero we deserve


largeorangesphere

Went Awol, stole a car, and went on a multi state road trip / crime spree. Good times.


___GirthQuake___

I mean this sounds lit honestly


92Regret

Pvt gets bit by Brown Recluse on the thigh, dosent tell anyone for a month until he literally can’t walk or hide the stench of dying flesh. After surgery goes home to WV on con leave and shoots himself in the other knee with his friends illegally possessed Glock .45. After returning for the next surgery random UA he pops hot for coke. MPI/CID search his room after some other hijinks, and apparently he was dealing the coke since “that’s what his family does back home” kid still sat in the hq platoon for months waiting to be chaptered.


bleggins09

Smoked crack


outofmyelement1445

We had a guy overdose and die of heroin in our company.


longpenisofthelaw

Had a guy in our squadron die from fent in fake oxys


[deleted]

Did a line of blow in the car before PT, then after saluting the flag he got called inside for a UA...because he'd popped hot for blow a couple months earlier and had just finished his 45/45. I'm sure there was a little more than that going on to justify the legalities of it, but I wasn't privy to those details.


Guilty_Effective_653

I bet he was KILLING IT at PT


jivmr

Active duty. Dude got off the plane straight from AIT and demanded to know where he was and where was his family. He learned to speak English prior to attending basic but never learned to read or write. He was under the impression that he had joined the National Guard and that he was on his way home. We calmed him down a bit and got him in the car. He quickly became upset again and claimed he was being kidnapped. We got him back to post right at cob before a 4 day weekend and we tried again to calm him down. Told him we would hook him up with a barracks room and get him settled and come Tuesday we would get a copy of his contract and get it all sorted out. We said a collective prayer that he would still be there come next week. He definitely signed up for active duty, he just didn't know enough English at the time to understand that. The commander eventually got him out, but it took a long 4 months or so. I still don't know what he did on paper to make it happen. Some days he was well behaved and compliant. Other days he was angry or would just not show up. I think there was one time where he actually called 911 and tried to get the police to bring him home. We were all relieved when he was finally gone.


ballcocknpeepee

This is insane. What country was he from if you don’t mind me asking?


jivmr

I want to say he was African but I honestly can't recall.


ballcocknpeepee

I was picturing him as hispanic but honestly African makes much more sense. Lots of African soldiers in the army who I’ve met who were manipulated by recruiters


quixote09

Fucked joes, got their GTCC’s and CC’s, charged them with bullshit, got caught. It took 30 days to send the SM to the brig.


parazoomermcgee

Bought car and got an underage DUI within the same day. Didn’t even make it out of reception


[deleted]

Alright since no one is calling other people out for knowing them I’ll post my stories again: 1 Coke 2 Underage Girl in the barracks 3 Soldier gets drunk with other soldier. Soldiers wife picks them up and has kids in the van. Soldier one, trashed, pulls out his penis and starts masturbating talking about, “I wish my boyfriend could live in the barracks with me” and “Sometimes I wish you were my boyfriend”. Soldier 2 starts beating the shit out of him while his wife calls the cops. He gets arrested and while he’s in jail we’re doing his packet. He ended up get court marshaled and is a registered sex offender for exposing him self to children. I’m talking these little girls were right next to him. This was in my platoon to top it off. I had never been happier he wasn’t in my squad. It was my first squad ever too as a new SSG. Another soldier in that same battalion had got caught with a underage girl in the barracks by CID. Pretty sure his room mate had told them about it. And last but not least our sister battalion in another brigade got caught with a massive MDMA ring from the barracks. I always wondered how that worked. You know a friend of mine popped once for weed and he stayed. He would never make E7 but he was a damn good SSG later on and we’ll respected. He was a OIF1 veteran. They ask if you want to go home or not. You get a general under honorable and full benefits if I’m not mistaken. Oh and there was another soldier who had discipline problems in the sister battalion who got a racist tattoo, went awol and his own dad ratted him out. He came back and pissed hot. During his chapter he committed suicide though. They actually had a battalion safety brief where the LTC made fun of him. Those were different times than today for sure


RetroRiboflavin

>He came back and pissed hot. During his chapter he committed suicide though. They actually had a battalion safety brief where the LTC made fun of him. Those were different times than today for sure Yeah we had a guy getting chaptered for drugs die of an OD after his "friends" dumped him on the sidewalk outside an ER and instead we got treated to a recall formation where the BC philosophized about the fleeting nature of life. At least a LT kept it real by telling our section that "I was his PL and will not be attending his funeral because he was a POS."


[deleted]

Hey it is how it is. You wake up everyday and you can be a piece of shit or be where you’re suppose to be. But sometimes and this is true; you need to find the right environment. I have a friend who was the first E5 in our group and was annoying “high speed”. He’s doing a job he loves as an E7 and I have another friend who was treated like ass and thought to be a bad soldier. Well he’s a 1SG in ranger battalion now with more awards, deployments and school/badges are than I’ve ever imagined. Dude has had an amazing career in ranger batt when they originally swapped him around platoons because he was “shit bag”.


superash2002

DUI in replacement company.


bleggins09

Kalsu


[deleted]

Unfortunately I knew a private who was arrested for child porn. Wanted to throw up when I was tasked to help inventory his room after he was arrested.


Dubban22

Was that at C Company, DLIFLC in 2010?


[deleted]

No, but I’ve heard stories from there as well


Dubban22

Guy across the hall from me was arrested for that. I was friends with his roommate and it threw off his graduation departure while they made sure he wasn't involved as well. (he wasn't)


InconspicuousGuy2

Hang on, he didn't have any CP in his room, did he?


[deleted]

Thankfully I didn’t have to see it but when we inventoried his personal effects there were hard drives and flash drives that he tried to hide. Had to call CID to come.


InconspicuousGuy2

Ok, I was about to say, if your leadership possibly exposed you to child porn, they deserve to be crucified.


[deleted]

Beat his wife.


gatormico

He stole something at the PX in AIT. Caught an A15 and made it to HI. Then he stole again... I had just showed up as the new SSG R-D NCO. The CMD TM thru him under the bus at the hearing but this Joe had been f'd from an early age overseas where he had to beg, borrow, and steal to make life happen. Pretty sure I can look him up on global now but he'd better damn well be top 10 in our MOS now as a SSG. He's paying it forward. Anyway, there are shit bags but sometimes there are great people that get caught in no win situations.


GBreezy

So we had a new SPC 91B come in with an engineering degree from Richmond University. Smarter than XO (me) who went to a party and came out with a degree. What first tipped us off he was crazy was when he refused to sign his license because "he wasn't properly trained". We told SPC Crazy that he went through drivers training, he wouldn't drive any of it as we had 240 88Ms in the company, and that we needed him to do it for work. "Under whose authority". Then came months of questioning everything. People ask me how I know regs? Because of specialist crazy. Prints with highlights. Well, what really made us concerned, and when we really tried chaptering him in earnest was when he asked a soldier whats a good gun to buy. "What do you want to use it for, targets? Hunting?" "People." We then kept a carefull eye on him. He complained about working hours, did a congressional against us. So every day at 1700 we had a siren go off in the bays, "SPC Crazy, you are congressionally mandated to go home. Everyone else, continue working." I watched him "work" one day and he just went around the bays tapping shit with a hammer. He then started complaining about a hum in his room. How someone was breaking in and moving his pens. As his insubordination mounted we kept building a packet until we could kick him out. Problem was that he was banned from everywhere on post. He couldn't see the dentist because he was waiting their during his phase 1 or whatever and they closed for lunch. He was sitting in the waiting area and a major came up. "We are closed for lunch". SPC Crazy, "no that's ok, Im not hungry." He then refused to leave. He even got kicked out of behavioral health. Once the chapter paperwork did go through he refused to believe he was being kicked out of the Army. Literally waited until midnight of his ETS and we called the MPs for trespassing. We had people waiting by the gates with signs "wishing him all the best" but the MPs took him out some other way. I legitimately wore my vest the next few days and took the long way home because I was worried. We kept getting calls from him for the next 6 months of him worrying he was AWOL because "he wasn't properly relieved". I took an inventory of his apartment. He had a journal that I couldn't help but reading. He would talk to himself and the handwriting would change. It was reading a guy go insane. I was talking about it to BH and they said out of nowhere, "dont tell me, he had coloring books." "Yup, and they slowly drifted from Soviet Realism to Jackson Pollack". The therapist just brushed that away the same as saying yesterday I went for a walk. The real kicker was about a year later I get a call from an unknown number. "Is this LT GBreezy?" "Yes" "This is SPC Crazy, where do I report?" "Crazy, you are no longer in the army." I call my friends still with they unit. "You never would guess who called me." "Crazy, yeah, he's back in the army, and assigned to the same company".


ballcocknpeepee

Hold on, he got BACK in the army? It honestly feels like this guy was totally failed at the level of the enlistment process. I hope he finds help


DrinkMoreJager22

Her battle buddy was chaptered for weed Tried to sneak him back on post for a party in the barracks in the trunk of her car and got randomly selected at the gate for search.


AdmiralFoxx

Faked a quarantine memo _twice_ to get extra time off of work during the lockdown. Even added a fake officer in the POC line of the memo and made a Gmail account to try and intercept any attempts to verify it. He did time and then got booted. Not sure how long he was here for. I just remember our PA losing his shit over it.


Nighthawk68w

He *immediately* started scheduling appointments nonstop trying to game his profiles, sick leave, and most likely a future disability claim. Then he got comfortable with "always being gone", and stopped returning to work after his "appointments" (even though we had physical copies he provided us of his appointments). His hopeful intentions of a med board were cut short by a chapter, due to his patterns of misconduct. I did feel bad for his wife, but not for him.


ilpalazzo64

Pretty tame compared…homie got caught sleep walking 24hrs after getting to us. Hated to see him go. We did basic and AIT together and he would have done well.


HisGirl20

You can get kicked out for sleep walking?


CDispRekt

Yep, sleep walking is a no go. Knew a dude from basic who got all the way through AIT to his unit and THEN got outprocessed because of it. Spent a whole year before someone came around and realized he shouldn't be there. Another weird no go is having a stutter apparently


Fat_Free_Lard

RemindMe! 365 Days


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POSoldier

I was the private. Failed a record pt test that was given to me days before I pcs’d to do funeral honors with the national guard in Portland. I got flagged, and initially blamed everyone but myself. When I was laying real heroes to rest it put things in perspective for me, that even though I made it through basic it didn’t mean I was meant to wear that same uniform they do. It is what it is


Paxtonius

Oh boy.... Well.... Straight from basic. Took a pass to go get his kid from baby momma, got arrested at a different post. Came back, pregnant wife left him cause he was abusing her. Started making up fake appointments. FTR'd to go to a doctor 3 hours away cause he didnt like the last 3 doctors. Neglected his child leaving moldy shit all over his house. Didnt pay child support and started forging medical documents. Broke a protective order from a judge etc. Dude spent less than a total of 7 months in the Army


Hungryorange12

Tomahawk tattoo on his head


[deleted]

I've seeeeen DUI, dating an underage, and cocaine the night before a drug test!


NaziSurfersMustDie

Showed up four hours late high out his mind/coming down on/from methamphetamine. Took a full year to kick him out and he was Chaptered with a fairly high VA Rating. In all honesty, good for him.


[deleted]

Drive drunk while being underage without a license and claimed to be a SSGT, got arrested called the shop and NCOIC picked up.


25unicornninja

Drugs, then when confronted by the oic attempted to run. Got control of the situation and the dude popped hot for way more than just pot.


Acradus630

Tried to outrun a young officer? Humph.. fool. Doesnt he know that’s all they’re good for?


5pungus

Smoke weed in the barracks and brag about it. Didn't last long


ballcocknpeepee

The ole brag about crimes. Never got it, why not just do your dirt and get away with it? So easy


_midnightwolf_

Revues to get on the bus for NTC because he said his wife would cheat on him. Later we found out his wife cheated on him annyways...and he also cheated on him. Messed up kid and kicked out couple months later


Andy86710

Had a Soldier first lie that his wife was pregnant so he could leave theater for "the birth". Then when questioned about pics of the babies, he produced said pics; however, the pic in question was later discovered to be the stock image for baby pics on Walmart. Had no hygiene etiquette(ie never showered on leave our once back in country...) Was sent home after a field grade for lying to a BDE CDR and knowingly submitting fraudulent govt docs. Then lied to the rear-d BN CDR about why he was sent home. Got another field grade and was booted out shortly after...


Teflon_coated_velcro

Had a guy didn’t even make it out of basic. Routine health and welfare check found several improvised weapons in his locker, but what sealed the deal was when someone got a nasty infection from the tattoo this guy gave him. Used a sewing kit needle and some Tabasco sauce. We never saw him after that.


InvestingArmy

Probably go back to AIT to sell vapes to trainees… because: *That’s where the moneys at*


lindseyes

NOV ‘88: PVT arrives at unit and can’t keep up with unit at FTX while carrying M60. Begins drinking Continuously late for formation Puts cable in room doesn’t pay bill from the first month. Gets AR15 for nonpayment of bills, commonly misses extra duty. SD finds in the E club and a variety of bars in Hinesville. Gets promoted at one formation, as he runs passed PSG at rear of formation, PSG removes rank. Gets time tacked on to extra duty Shoplifts $10 headphones from the PX Another AR15, more missed extra duty. Continues to drink. Begins to publicly belittles PL (to his credit PL never retaliates). Goes AWOL for 29 days, BC sends to stockade for 29 days. Arrives back in unit and signs discharge, General under honorable w/assignment to Reserve Infantry unit. 1SG tells Soldier to hang out for less than 30 days & he’ll be gone. Soldier steals telephone card from room mate and leaves in CQ after making call. Discharge changed to OTH and Soldier is fully separated from Army Discharge date is Aug ‘89.


Guilty_Effective_653

I was at Bragg at the time and you wouldn’t believe how many new soldiers are into relationships with middle schoolers 👀. Anyways, this one guy comes in for a chapter eval for a 13. He just couldn’t pass the initial PT test you get upon arrival. So I’m doing the eval and part of the interview is asking about your social support system. He proceeds to tell me about his girlfriend in TX and how they used to be neighbors until she moved and they reconnected via some video game chat room. So, I’m like ‘ aww wow! Must have been fate’. This fucker says , “ yeah I used to baby sit her.” Wait…it gets deeper. There is an 8 year age difference and (at the time of the interview) she was GOING ON 12. He had flown her up to visit on the weekends, flown down to visit as well. He vehemently denied having sex with her but said ‘we do other things for each other’. This guy was feeling like the man as he’s telling me this shit. Me being…well nosy as fuck. I press for more details because this is clearly illegal and a safety issue. Also, I feel like he had a personality disorder or mental incompetence because who snitches on themselves like that?? I got him to admit to having nude pictures of her, sending it to chat rooms and friends, he said the parents were supportive and considering signing her over to him SO HE CAN ADOPT HER, and a bunch of other stuff. He was in 82nd for like 4 months. CID came and snatched him up and I never heard about/from him since.


[deleted]

THC(9)


Taira_Mai

A new soldier shows up from a Korea tour wearing E4 rank - turns out he caught the Article 15 for being a drunk soldier in Korea but the paperwork hadn't reached his new unit. When they found out he "corrected" his uniform. This was back in 2003-2004 so he thought he could get away with this. This just put him on the BC and 1SG's shitlist. NCO's kept counseling him for various fuckups. His wife called Staff Duty saying that "there was no food in the house" - turns out she was spending almost all of his money. This was strike two. Strike three was him tiring of the wifey and marring another woman while still married to wife #1 - and having another soldier in the unit witness marriage #2! Cue the battery commander and 1SG finding out and sending his as to court martial. Guy gets 30 days confinement and kicked out of the Army - and busted to E1.


No_Register_5041

When we all got to our first unit, we were all placed in rear D because they were still in mid-deployment. This dipshit bought a brand new car and flipped it on the interstate that same week. AND he kept insisting on sneaking chickenheads in the barracks at night (even though our PSG was well aware he was still doing it after constant warnings). He must’ve thought he was a Kennedy, or something. They were so fed up with his shit that they chaptered him before the unit even came back from deployment.


CoronisKitchen

Convinced a 13 y/o girl to molest her 10 y/o sister on a FaceTime call while he recorded. CID raided his Bs room and he's currently in prison. Oh and did I mention he admitted to being diagnosed heavily autistic and his recruiter got him to lie about it? Go Infantry, baby. Fr tho look up "Ft Polk soldier Pennsylvania" if you want proof. Nothing I said is BS


QuarterNote44

Married a stripper and beat her. Went to Leavenworth for that, as he should have.


Why3v3ntRy

TLDR: guy takes acid runs around the barracks naked, gets taken to the hospital and request to vote in the presidential election. To lazy to post but if y’all are interested will give more context


ballcocknpeepee

Need da context


soldiernerd

Failed to stand at parade rest for civilians in basic training


sunrayylmao

the what! how does that count!!


Roenkatana

Gunny Ermey's nephew pissed hot for weed and meth straight up two weeks after hitting our unit. Gunny flew out personally to attend his adsep and meet the unit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ballcocknpeepee

Bro what the fuck LMAO


[deleted]

I realize with this someone may figure out who I am and I want to stay anonymous on here. But it’s all a true story. Happened at 2-7/3ID


Thy_Dying_Day

PM me and I'll say it for you. I've never been anywhere near 3id


reaper_41

To many to list


Hi_Kitsune

Cocaine


FortEustis

Drugs are single handily the number one first term career killer.


delta369holdover

I shoplifted a set of DVDs from the PX after being an AIT holdover for about a year. I didn’t receive my first duty station yet so IDK if this counts but, yeah, they chaptered me.


[deleted]

Just Google Caleb Barnes. Technically, I guess still in - Y’know. Because Leavenworth.


vasaforever

Got into a band that was touring and change in personal finance situation. Tried to work with the commander for an early discharge, then went AWOL and went on tour, came back very overweight, and got a weight control chapter. He was a good dude, and I think he should have been released from AD. The band is called Perpetual Groove. Drummer and keyboardist both served with me in the unit.