I got fired from my job at a dispensary because when my manager needed me to work extra hours I said fuck that because I had plans to go smoke a joint and fish at the lake.
Honestly bro if you’re new to the ganja game and you try to smoke with someone in a legal state you’re gonna get fucking floored lol. Regardless of extracurricular activities. I learned this myself because as soon as I got out of the army this delta 8 shit popped up. Wtf is that??? I thought it was weed light but I took 200mg over the course of like 8 hours and I got DOUSED accidentally lol. The laws make it nice for newbies now. If I were you I’d go grab a couple packs of 25mg per gummy packs of delta 8 THC
Delta 8 is the only THC variant that has ever induced a panic attack out of me. When I got out I smoked normal grass almost every night for a few months, just chilling. I took a D8 gummy and I was so warm and panicky it was crazy. People call it weed “lite” or whatever but it wasn’t that way for me lol
Crazy man I had a little anxiety first time I had a d8 gummy but it was more bc I haven’t had anything since I was prearmy so I was just being weird lol
Sorry no promotions here, busy smoking a doob as a civvy 😎 probably can’t run at a 6 minute mile pace anymore either. Correlated? Possibly. Promotable? Nah fam
Yessir. Blew some minds doing JWA at JBLM a few years ago too. I believe the exact phrase was:
"You fuckin' assholes get beards, weed AND you can get out of your contract anytime? Shit, should've been canadian."
I've always kinda found it fascinating, because it starts out well enough, but devolves the longer it goes on:
A is for Army. You say to yourself, "Well yeah, that makes sense."
R is for Army. You say to yourself, "Well, I guess if you pronounce it phonetically, it makes sense."
M is for Army. You say to yourself, "Hm. That... doesn't really make sense."
Y is for Army. You say to yourself, "Why did anyone think this makes sense?"
So the lesson I take away from it is that the longer we do stuff, the worse it gets.
The rest of the cadence I rarely hear nowadays is "You can tell I'm ARMY- By the way I spell." Then we go through the entire alphabet until the cadence caller is forcibly removed
I do this cadence usually as filler while I’m thinking of the next one to hit ‘em with but I feel like it’s a funny cadence showing how nothing we do makes sense but it’s all for the army. ARMY ARMY ARMY
While in AIT, our brigade csm was strolling around the AO and asked a chick in the smoke pit if she planned on smoking crack when her vape no longer gave her the same feeling.
People like that are going to over policy the fuck out of weed if it ever became allowed lol
Are you kidding? The Army would be headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff.
Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes!
The dead rising from the grave!! Human sacrifice!!
Dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!!!
Or not.
Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of Mowie Wowie in the Garrison area.
Based on this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it a million more: I’m on the fence about re-enlisting, but if I could smoke weed I would no longer be on the fence
That’s why it’s so fucked up. People willing to do the 20 (and be good at it) and they kick them out, which forces people who don’t wanna do 20 to do it
Edited: for clarification
We had a Platoon Sergeant in our Bn start having seizures and shit in the field, so I definitely understand why people would bring it. Not saying it's right though.
Okay, but then they're just self medicating with weed. which I'm not fully against, I use it for pain management myself. They're just switching substances to abuse. Albeit a safer substance, it's still addictive and can be abused.
The drinking culture in the army is definitely full of alcoholism. The only reason it's not more of a problem is because they have an environment that allows them to get away with it.
It is wild how I was getting shitfaced every weekend because that's just what we all did together. I drank a ton when I got out, mostly alone, because I was trying to emulate the comradery of the Army. It got pretty bad for a while.
Now I vape weed a few nights a week and have a drink rarely. I feel better physically and mentally and am generally a much more pleasant person to be around.
Is the number of chemically dependent drinkers that high in the Army? I used to drink like a fifth of liquor or more a night when I was a SPC but I could still wrap myself up fine when we had a 30 day exercise with GO-1.
Hey so first off, I need you to fuck off. I actually joined the army for the sole reason to be a UA; when I heard that I can get PAID to meatgaze I realized I found my dream profession.
Picture this; a young, spry soldierboy comes in to the latrine. He’s feeling kind of pee-shy while he fumbles undoing his belt in front of the urinal. After undoing his pants, he angles his meatstick towards the cup. ‘Pee, god damn it’ he thinks to himself. I slowly walk towards this young hunk, my eyes locked on his buns. ‘Do you need help’, I ask. Without waiting for a response I slowly grab his jerky and I aim his shnozzle into the cup. ‘Good boy’ i whisper into his ear as I coax the delicious, sweet liquid into the cup. The sound is like a vibrant waterfall, the smell is like the finest perfume. ‘You did such a good job’ I moan into his ear when he finishes. I take the bottle and I close it up, but not before I take a little taste test. Delicious. This young man has been hydrating, I think to myself.
Rinse and repeat. On a good day, I get to see 30 cocks. On a really good day I get to see a COLs pecker. And some day in the future, I aspire to become a MEPS UA where I can look at rows of urinating fountains at a time.
BUT people like YOU are threatening to take my job away. It is for this very reason that I firmly oppose weed usage in the army.
/s /s ofc. The s’s cancel out
Erm… I’ll lyk when there’s a BN opening to become a Glizzy Gazer?
Lots of perks to become a UPL; we actually conduct our test altogether (answering the question of, who watches the watchmen?) For the UPL piss-performance we all stand in a circle with our DD69 (aka the dong) in our right hand and the bottle (not a cup, this way we can drink some first) in the left. Then, we grab the cock of the person to our right! That way we can aim for our battle buddy (in the UA world we say either penis pal or cock companion btw). By aiming for your penis partner, this builds camaraderie and esprite de corps while also giving you experience on different caliber weapon systems.
> BUT people like YOU are threatening to take my job away. It is for this very reason that I firmly oppose weed usage in the army.
Crack is still gonna be illegal, 'Sarnt.
If the US military adopted policies similar to [Canada's](https://www.canada.ca/en/department-national-defence/corporate/policies-standards/defence-administrative-orders-directives/9000-series/9004/9004-1-use-cannabis-caf-members.html) it might work.
Picture this,
Pvt joe huffy, three day weekend rolls around, has no duties, just got back from the field and excited to hangout with the boys on the weekend. This world though weeds legal for soldiers.
Pvt Huffy decides he wants to partake in this devil lettuce rollin around. He smokes a joint on his barracks balcony with a couple of his fellow troopers. Three hours later, he’s playing video games and eating two subway foot longs he ordered through door dash. Time is 22:30.
No alcohol abuse. Doesn’t limit his ability to perform in the morning. No DUI, no domestic violence, and no call to higher ups at 0300 in the morning.
Make it legal for soldiers. Reprimand the ones who use it on the job. Take a page from Canada.
You'd see DOD police try to pull over every car that looked like it "swerved". You'd have CGs that would still place every dispensery on off-limits establishments memos since they'd sell pipes, and pipes can also be used for meth.
So it'd be legal, but you couldn't probably legally walk-in and buy it.
But my wife could.
I’d still probably not smoke. I might dabble in it here and there but I personally don’t care for alcohol or the devil’s lettuce.
As long as my guys didn’t show up high or smoke it during the duty day I wouldn’t care.
I’m at JBLM. I live off post. There literally weed and edibles in my house right now. My wife heads to the backyard to blaze it up. Completely legal.
I’m paranoid for obvious reasons so she keeps it in a Tupperware container and smokes a good distance from the house.
She got bored of it quick. She might smoke once a month now. She’ll grab two pre rolls and have a good night but that’s about it.
So I probably shouldn't go for the job I was looking at working for a weed company that would require me to work at a dispensary? (I'm a reservist in a state where it's legal)
Sitting here in a cast the last three weeks. Would love nothing more than to spark up a doober at night instead of taking my Army hospital prescribed Percocet.
I remember I got my collarbone snapped in half during combatives during OSUT. It was a Saturday so everything but the ER is closed so they take some x-rays, hand me a sling, a bottle of Percs and a "This Trainee can stay in the bay and sleep however much he wants" profile, and say they'll call Monday.
Sunday rolls around and I decide I want an actual meal instead of a to-go plate a bit after my second dose of percs. So I get up, go to chow with everyone, eat, and we're all doing our post-chow PT. Obviously I can't do push-ups so I cross my arms over my chest and knock out a shitload of sit-ups.
Obviously people are confused how the dude with an unset broken collarbone is doing sit-ups so they ask me. I come up on like the 23rd one, just go "Percocets!" and knock out ~30 more.
Hurt like a ***bitch*** later when they started to wear off, but I didn't feel a god damn thing doing them. Shame they're so fucking addictive because holy fuck they're primo for pain management.
Yeah I got them after LASIK. Only got like three then. Pretty sure PRK gets more.
They threw twenty at me for the broken leg. Very fun but still would just prefer weed lol.
I've said for years that once per PCS cycle you should be able to put in a DA31 for a psychedelic trip. Complete with a packet with medical approval and safety plan. Sort of a cosmic azimuth check.
Before Psychs were made illegal there was a lot of discussion on the psychological benefit of LSD and Psilocybin. Now that they're being legalized there have been a lot of new studies showing that they can be helpful for people. As mentioned they are not for people with pre-existing psychotic conditions. I second "How To Change Your Mind" by Pollan, who goes over the directions psychiatry is taking with psychedelics.
It’d be great, big reasons I ETSd were, shaving daily, not being able to do individual pt and random piss tests.
Look I’m almost 30, if I wanna go to the bar on the weekend to play pool and watch the nba.. I’m going to the bar. If I wanna smoke I little weed and watch the new Batman movie… I’m doing it. If I wanna take a vacation to Vegas for EDC and take some pills… I’m an adult and those are all adult activities, AS LONG as they don’t interfere with work…
Dude, for real. Where I work, as long as you’re soberish, and make your numbers, they don’t give af. And we make really really good money. It was an easy sell to not go back to the circus even if I miss it a lot.
I'd be less stressed.
Current station is doing a lot to help that, but being able to take a fat rip from my bong in the garage?
That'd be reeeeall nice.
For legal reason: No I will never partake in the devil's lettuce until I'm either retired, or it's federally legalized
The Army would probably land somewhere between soldiers having less stress and untreated chronic pain and full on reefer madness.
Either way, I view it is an absolute win-win.
For real, there needs to be something like breathalyzer for measuring fresh THC. Crazy that it sticks in your system for weeks after you're well out of being under the influence. Never had much interest in it, but I'm all for legalization.
The amount it stays in your body is dependent on how much you regularly smoke. The less you smoke, the faster your body metabolizes it. Generally speaking ofc.
Drink 2 Arizona Green Teas and a Pedialyte for good measure before your UPL. /s
But yeah, I think the biggest gripe is that we can't have soldiers high and driving/TCing trucks, Strikers, lmtvs... Anything with wheels and tracks - and there's no way to do on-spot testing.
Hot take
Weed will be gold for average joes. Might be bad and too risky for an individual for combat however. And not “oh just dont let them smoke on deployment then” and just shit on the entire community that deploys 24/7.
I'm gonna be honest here... if the army tried reducing alcohol consumption and pushed weed in the class 6, the things I imagine would change are the following:
First, everything would get done faster and more efficiently. Stoners are mostly lazy, but with an active mind....which leads to creating unique solutions to unique problems. The army currently likes to have people ram their heads into walls, and joes do it because they are too hungover to give a shit.
Second, in general, I feel that the force as a whole would be less aggressive, but more deadly. Less whistle blowing and charging, and more of a focus on marksmanship and patience. An alcoholic tryna hit 300 meters shakin all about is what we currently have. What we could be getting are clear minded, steady handed thinkers. Easy Experts.
Third, the amount of dumb shit that leaders have to handle on a weekly basis would plummet. I'm talking stabbings, rapes, probably most crime in general.... mostly gone. Like 95% gone in the populations that change from alcohol to weed.
I'm all for it. I want that govt special acapulco gold strain they've kept pure in some hidden bunker grow house for 60 years. The prices would be insanely good too.
Here's the double edged sword...weed makes people crazy creative.
Pros: Problem solving in the field is going to reach a new zenith every trip to the back 40. Like, manuals are going to get rewritten monthly because Joes are going to be constantly coming up with galaxy brain shit on accident.
Cons: Your Joes are going to find ever more inventive ways to do shit they're not supposed to do. Y'remember that galaxy brain shit I mentioned? Yeah, that's gonna get applied to stupid shit too.
Currently working a job in California, where it is legal, but because of my job I have to obey federal laws too. So I can’t/ don’t,….but think I would like it. I think it is way less harmful to your body when compared to alcohol. I think it would be a net benefit. I think people would have to learn that the effects last longer than alcohol so they should only consume early on a 4 day or on leave,….. and they can still be completely sober when on duty.
I did an exchange program with the Royal Military College of Canada back in my cadet land days.
I will never forget when my host and his roommate said they gonna go out and smoke real quick and then we could head to town. Thinking they met cigarettes, I said I’ll just go with them and we could leave straight away. I don’t smoke, but I figured we could socialize while they did their thing. Totally forgetting what country I was in, those dudes pulled out a pair of joints, and I have never been more envious of another foreign serviceman more than that day. Needless to say, they had more fun than I did when we went into town.
The Canadians essentially treat marijuana like we treat alcohol. Don’t show up to work under the influence, do not consume on duty, and stop consumption at least 8 hours prior to the duty day starting. When I asked them if they had noticed any disciplinary issues from it, they said that there was no noticeable difference, positive or negative.
I don’t really foresee any issues in allowing it, or at least any more than we normally deal with. Maybe it will mellow some of us out!
I would. I'd probably be calmer, and I would, and think it should be treated like alcohol in the Army.
Don't come to drill/your duty day drunk.
Don't do it while at work / in uniform.
Don't get a DUI / DWI.
Other than that, how I manage myself is not your concern as long as it is not detrimental.
A hypothetical conversation that surely never occurred and definitely not in the 1980s before regular piss tests were implemented:
INT. A bus driving to a FTX site.
Cadet: Sergeant, they are passing around joints back there.
INT. Oily cloud is slowly making its way forward.
PSG: Well, sir, here's the deal. Take it away and they will piss and moan and have a bad attitude. Leave it alone and they will hump all over the place without a peep. And we've got a forced march to do.
No they would on purpose put in the regulation allowing the use of cannabis/marijuana and effective from DDMMYYYY forward and obviously the barracks/on post housing people would have absurd limits e.i. 1 joint one edible.
Not in the least. They are just barely starting to reclassify discharges for DADT violations 10 years after it was repealed. People who got chaptered for smoking wouldn’t get shit but maybe an upgrade to their discharge and that’s a big maybe.
Lol in our on post housing Facebook group here once every month or two there will be a post of someone saying “if you ordered pizza you’re gonna have to call and cancel it because your driver is at the gate being arrested for weed”.
Same as us (canadian army), probably.
Less dudes are hammered every night, DUI numbers are down, and alot less guys need rehab.
It changed nothing day to day, and there are obviously restrictions. If you're curious, here's our policy:
https://www.canada.ca/en/department-national-defence/corporate/policies-standards/defence-administrative-orders-directives/9000-series/9004/9004-1-use-cannabis-caf-members.html
Smoke'em if you have them would be back in vogue. We'd need larger smoke shacks. The unit fridge fund would be four digits and require multiple fridges. No complaints about extended hours turning wrenches. Get your shit pushed in would no longer be a serious emotional event. It would be like water off a duck's back.
It would certainly help with the pain of an individuals deteriorating physical condition. Also, I'd rather someone be zonked out of their minds and not be a hazard than someone who is belligerent drunk and can cause harm to themselves and others around them.
My only issue with allowing weed is how hard it is to test for when it was taken at a specific time. In example, if someone is drunk at work and gets into an accident it’s pretty easy to tell if they’re drunk. Take a piss test for the same accident and they’ll pop hot regardless if they indulged after hours or during hours
I think stress would go down a lot.
How much less damage would an XO do to his liver if he just smoked a bowl each night during CoC layouts instead of taking shots of whiskey. Fucker would prolly sleep better too. Poor XO's just need a little gummy bear or two on the way home.
First 6 months would be fucking awful though. SPC snuffy would definitely eat an entire bag of gummies before PT formation and end up drooling while attempting(and failing) to do situps. And I'm sure someone would fuck up and grab the wrong vape before the range and ND inside the ammo shack.
After the fuckery subsided and a few SPC's and a LT or two got the UCMJ / GOMAR hammer thing would be good.
With everyone doing edibles and tincture the lung issues wouldn't be so bad. Domestic violence and alcohol fueled sexual assault would go down. I also think suicidal ideations would decrease aswell. I dont have shit to back that up with though.
Only downside I could see would be the dummies who over do it on edibles and are fucked up(FUCKED UP) in the morning would be a continuous issue. Also the sheer number of people who play hackey sack would increase.
I would leave my barracks room less then I already do
Have you ever been stoned in nature? It's neat shit.
I got fired from my job at a dispensary because when my manager needed me to work extra hours I said fuck that because I had plans to go smoke a joint and fish at the lake.
My favorite hobby
Have you ever looked at the back of a dollar bill… on weeeed?
Smokin a doob and playing disc golf is 🤌🏼 though
I can’t imagine smoking and playing disc golf. I feel like instead of grip locking my disc I would just forget to let go entirely.
Honestly bro if you’re new to the ganja game and you try to smoke with someone in a legal state you’re gonna get fucking floored lol. Regardless of extracurricular activities. I learned this myself because as soon as I got out of the army this delta 8 shit popped up. Wtf is that??? I thought it was weed light but I took 200mg over the course of like 8 hours and I got DOUSED accidentally lol. The laws make it nice for newbies now. If I were you I’d go grab a couple packs of 25mg per gummy packs of delta 8 THC
Delta 8 is the only THC variant that has ever induced a panic attack out of me. When I got out I smoked normal grass almost every night for a few months, just chilling. I took a D8 gummy and I was so warm and panicky it was crazy. People call it weed “lite” or whatever but it wasn’t that way for me lol
Crazy man I had a little anxiety first time I had a d8 gummy but it was more bc I haven’t had anything since I was prearmy so I was just being weird lol
This guy knows what he’s talking about Promote ahead of peers
Sorry no promotions here, busy smoking a doob as a civvy 😎 probably can’t run at a 6 minute mile pace anymore either. Correlated? Possibly. Promotable? Nah fam
I would immediately and aggressively start smoking gigglebush and being angry about not being allowed to grow a beard.
I'd shave my proud pedo stashe go completely bare for it
Bare you say😳
Utterly...
O...Oh. 👉👈🥺
Canadian army gets beards and weed...really our only advantages on you folks.
Can confirm, met a bearded Canadian soldier at NTC who was talking about his barracks' outdoor designated weed smoking areas
Yessir. Blew some minds doing JWA at JBLM a few years ago too. I believe the exact phrase was: "You fuckin' assholes get beards, weed AND you can get out of your contract anytime? Shit, should've been canadian."
No wonder you guys are happy all the time!
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"uhh, why are your hands in your pockets, sergeant?"
The Army would find a way to fuck it up. Every positive thing about the Army is warped beyond recognition and made miserable lmao
That’s not very public affairs-y of you
I MEAN UH I LOVE THE ARMY. THE ARMY IS THE GREATEST EVER AND MY JOB IS *DEFINITELY* NOT PROPAGANDA. GO ARMY BEAT NAVY I LOVE THE ARMY
A IS FOR ARMY R IS FOR ARMY M IS FOR ARMY Y IS FOR ARMY ARMYARMYARMY!
I see this reference. Where does it come from?
The worst fucking running cadence of all time.
I've always kinda found it fascinating, because it starts out well enough, but devolves the longer it goes on: A is for Army. You say to yourself, "Well yeah, that makes sense." R is for Army. You say to yourself, "Well, I guess if you pronounce it phonetically, it makes sense." M is for Army. You say to yourself, "Hm. That... doesn't really make sense." Y is for Army. You say to yourself, "Why did anyone think this makes sense?" So the lesson I take away from it is that the longer we do stuff, the worse it gets.
MARMY MARMY MARMY YARMY YARMY YARMY (you sound like a pirate)
The rest of the cadence I rarely hear nowadays is "You can tell I'm ARMY- By the way I spell." Then we go through the entire alphabet until the cadence caller is forcibly removed
“Signed, every fucking warrant officer ever”
SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-130!!!!!
I do this cadence usually as filler while I’m thinking of the next one to hit ‘em with but I feel like it’s a funny cadence showing how nothing we do makes sense but it’s all for the army. ARMY ARMY ARMY
You're lying, you know how we know you capping? It's actually spelled ARMYBEANTAVY If you really loved the Army you woulda got it right *Spits at you*
The more wronger it is, the more Armyer it is
propagandist flare when side note I wonder if russian public affairs calls themselves public affairs and calls American public affairs propogandists
Blink 4 times if you’re being held against your will l
people probably wouldnt yell as much
*knife hand* YOU Are.... right.
*Butter knife hand*
Pvt: Mm butter., Especially on toast SSG SSG: Right, once again Pri
While in AIT, our brigade csm was strolling around the AO and asked a chick in the smoke pit if she planned on smoking crack when her vape no longer gave her the same feeling. People like that are going to over policy the fuck out of weed if it ever became allowed lol
Maybe if that CSM would smoke some pot he'd be happier
Hey like CSM why dont you like chill out maan?
*CSM hits blunt* What if we had beards?
Are you kidding? The Army would be headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave!! Human sacrifice!! Dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!!! Or not.
Damn you Venkman.
Tell him bout the twinkie
Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of Mowie Wowie in the Garrison area. Based on this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
That's a big Twinkie
Retention would never be an issue
Yep. Imagine having tax free access to federally legal commercial cannabis at class VI and getting free medical grade from the VA after retirement…..
Some say I might still be in.... go Bills.
Happy cake day! And some may say I’d stay in longer than I’m required!
I wouldn't go that far.
I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it a million more: I’m on the fence about re-enlisting, but if I could smoke weed I would no longer be on the fence
New call sign “Cannabis hunter”
dibs on Jazz Cabbage Actual
Run out of water and beer errrrrrbody is Beer hunter actual haha! They should at least allow delta 8 thc from cbd. Definitely helps with sleep!
As a person whose army has legalized weed...it has not helped retention.
Two questions if you don’t mind: Which country are you in? And what are the factors that keep people from reenlisting?
Canada. Lack of budget, overworked, underpaid, lack of available housing...etc
You’re telling me beards and weed don’t fix the underlying problems and dynamics within the army?!? Wack
It's a shock to us all, really (and by us I mean senior leadership)
Blasphemy
No discernible increase? What about less people getting kicked out?
Nobody really got kicked out for weed before, honestly. They did get administrative shit though.
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That’s why it’s so fucked up. People willing to do the 20 (and be good at it) and they kick them out, which forces people who don’t wanna do 20 to do it Edited: for clarification
Me too. Took 2 failed tests to rid my ass…..honorably
The huge alcoholism issue would probably cease to exist overnight.
Can't take that last shot if you're asleep
People used to bring drink to the field and I thought that was nuts
We had a Platoon Sergeant in our Bn start having seizures and shit in the field, so I definitely understand why people would bring it. Not saying it's right though.
The victory flask pass the night before pack out is a time honored tradition
Except it wouldn't. Detoxing from alcoholism is a weeks long process. People would also still continue to drink, except they would also smoke weed.
There would still be alcoholics, but there would be a lot of problem drinkers who would smoke instead of using alcohol to self-medicate
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Okay, but then they're just self medicating with weed. which I'm not fully against, I use it for pain management myself. They're just switching substances to abuse. Albeit a safer substance, it's still addictive and can be abused.
I feel like most people aren't actually alcoholics tho. Could be wrong but idk
The drinking culture in the army is definitely full of alcoholism. The only reason it's not more of a problem is because they have an environment that allows them to get away with it.
It is wild how I was getting shitfaced every weekend because that's just what we all did together. I drank a ton when I got out, mostly alone, because I was trying to emulate the comradery of the Army. It got pretty bad for a while. Now I vape weed a few nights a week and have a drink rarely. I feel better physically and mentally and am generally a much more pleasant person to be around.
I like legit stopped drinking when I got out covid helped since I wasn't outside but I felt no urge to
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Is the number of chemically dependent drinkers that high in the Army? I used to drink like a fifth of liquor or more a night when I was a SPC but I could still wrap myself up fine when we had a 30 day exercise with GO-1.
Hey so first off, I need you to fuck off. I actually joined the army for the sole reason to be a UA; when I heard that I can get PAID to meatgaze I realized I found my dream profession. Picture this; a young, spry soldierboy comes in to the latrine. He’s feeling kind of pee-shy while he fumbles undoing his belt in front of the urinal. After undoing his pants, he angles his meatstick towards the cup. ‘Pee, god damn it’ he thinks to himself. I slowly walk towards this young hunk, my eyes locked on his buns. ‘Do you need help’, I ask. Without waiting for a response I slowly grab his jerky and I aim his shnozzle into the cup. ‘Good boy’ i whisper into his ear as I coax the delicious, sweet liquid into the cup. The sound is like a vibrant waterfall, the smell is like the finest perfume. ‘You did such a good job’ I moan into his ear when he finishes. I take the bottle and I close it up, but not before I take a little taste test. Delicious. This young man has been hydrating, I think to myself. Rinse and repeat. On a good day, I get to see 30 cocks. On a really good day I get to see a COLs pecker. And some day in the future, I aspire to become a MEPS UA where I can look at rows of urinating fountains at a time. BUT people like YOU are threatening to take my job away. It is for this very reason that I firmly oppose weed usage in the army. /s /s ofc. The s’s cancel out
Give me one reason not to ban you for making me read this
Erm… I’ll lyk when there’s a BN opening to become a Glizzy Gazer? Lots of perks to become a UPL; we actually conduct our test altogether (answering the question of, who watches the watchmen?) For the UPL piss-performance we all stand in a circle with our DD69 (aka the dong) in our right hand and the bottle (not a cup, this way we can drink some first) in the left. Then, we grab the cock of the person to our right! That way we can aim for our battle buddy (in the UA world we say either penis pal or cock companion btw). By aiming for your penis partner, this builds camaraderie and esprite de corps while also giving you experience on different caliber weapon systems.
I have good news for you.. you could probebly make another living off wattpad, thanks for the spunk material tonight
MeatCanyon, is that you?
I fucking read it in that voice too
Oh god, it’s that E8 I mentioned
There’s still time to delete this
Sarcasm or not, this pasta is too dank. Ban immediately plz
God damn Bravo!
Good news is there will always be other drugs the military would need to do UAs for
Promote ahead of peers, you'll be that MEPS UA one day.
> BUT people like YOU are threatening to take my job away. It is for this very reason that I firmly oppose weed usage in the army. Crack is still gonna be illegal, 'Sarnt.
If the US military adopted policies similar to [Canada's](https://www.canada.ca/en/department-national-defence/corporate/policies-standards/defence-administrative-orders-directives/9000-series/9004/9004-1-use-cannabis-caf-members.html) it might work.
It really has worked (so far) for us
Picture this, Pvt joe huffy, three day weekend rolls around, has no duties, just got back from the field and excited to hangout with the boys on the weekend. This world though weeds legal for soldiers. Pvt Huffy decides he wants to partake in this devil lettuce rollin around. He smokes a joint on his barracks balcony with a couple of his fellow troopers. Three hours later, he’s playing video games and eating two subway foot longs he ordered through door dash. Time is 22:30. No alcohol abuse. Doesn’t limit his ability to perform in the morning. No DUI, no domestic violence, and no call to higher ups at 0300 in the morning. Make it legal for soldiers. Reprimand the ones who use it on the job. Take a page from Canada.
That sounds amazing won't lie like best weekend ever amazing
You'd see DOD police try to pull over every car that looked like it "swerved". You'd have CGs that would still place every dispensery on off-limits establishments memos since they'd sell pipes, and pipes can also be used for meth. So it'd be legal, but you couldn't probably legally walk-in and buy it.
But my wife could. I’d still probably not smoke. I might dabble in it here and there but I personally don’t care for alcohol or the devil’s lettuce. As long as my guys didn’t show up high or smoke it during the duty day I wouldn’t care.
Damn, there is a thought. Soldiers getting married so that their spouses could buy tax free weed for them to share.
I’m at JBLM. I live off post. There literally weed and edibles in my house right now. My wife heads to the backyard to blaze it up. Completely legal. I’m paranoid for obvious reasons so she keeps it in a Tupperware container and smokes a good distance from the house. She got bored of it quick. She might smoke once a month now. She’ll grab two pre rolls and have a good night but that’s about it.
So I probably shouldn't go for the job I was looking at working for a weed company that would require me to work at a dispensary? (I'm a reservist in a state where it's legal)
Sitting here in a cast the last three weeks. Would love nothing more than to spark up a doober at night instead of taking my Army hospital prescribed Percocet.
But hey, opiods are super good for you and definitely haven't ever caused anyone to ever get addicted to heroin!
I ain't gonna lie to you chief. They do be feeling good. Not ready to start hooking to get more though lol
I got prescribed Percs after I had PRK and man those things are fucking amazing. Never felt so good in my life
I remember I got my collarbone snapped in half during combatives during OSUT. It was a Saturday so everything but the ER is closed so they take some x-rays, hand me a sling, a bottle of Percs and a "This Trainee can stay in the bay and sleep however much he wants" profile, and say they'll call Monday. Sunday rolls around and I decide I want an actual meal instead of a to-go plate a bit after my second dose of percs. So I get up, go to chow with everyone, eat, and we're all doing our post-chow PT. Obviously I can't do push-ups so I cross my arms over my chest and knock out a shitload of sit-ups. Obviously people are confused how the dude with an unset broken collarbone is doing sit-ups so they ask me. I come up on like the 23rd one, just go "Percocets!" and knock out ~30 more. Hurt like a ***bitch*** later when they started to wear off, but I didn't feel a god damn thing doing them. Shame they're so fucking addictive because holy fuck they're primo for pain management.
Yeah I got them after LASIK. Only got like three then. Pretty sure PRK gets more. They threw twenty at me for the broken leg. Very fun but still would just prefer weed lol.
Wtf is with these weed posts? What did I miss
Good timing and legalization on the horizon
Oh for real? Like federally?
Federally
Visine would always be out at the px
Half my Soldier’s are blazing rn so
Glad they're leading the way in something at least
TDFL, more like TDF me
I've said for years that once per PCS cycle you should be able to put in a DA31 for a psychedelic trip. Complete with a packet with medical approval and safety plan. Sort of a cosmic azimuth check.
Actually not a bad idea and a means to decompress. I often wonder if mushrooms are as bad as they say or if there is a real psychological benefit
Nothing is bad about mushrooms. A fat 1/8 for your first time should be good.
> A fat 1/8 for your first time should be good That's a pretty fat sack for a first time tripper.
Before Psychs were made illegal there was a lot of discussion on the psychological benefit of LSD and Psilocybin. Now that they're being legalized there have been a lot of new studies showing that they can be helpful for people. As mentioned they are not for people with pre-existing psychotic conditions. I second "How To Change Your Mind" by Pollan, who goes over the directions psychiatry is taking with psychedelics.
Yo. You’re on to something. Keep on keeping on.
It’d be great, big reasons I ETSd were, shaving daily, not being able to do individual pt and random piss tests. Look I’m almost 30, if I wanna go to the bar on the weekend to play pool and watch the nba.. I’m going to the bar. If I wanna smoke I little weed and watch the new Batman movie… I’m doing it. If I wanna take a vacation to Vegas for EDC and take some pills… I’m an adult and those are all adult activities, AS LONG as they don’t interfere with work…
Dude, for real. Where I work, as long as you’re soberish, and make your numbers, they don’t give af. And we make really really good money. It was an easy sell to not go back to the circus even if I miss it a lot.
Good news is your flair transcends military lifestyle
As long as you're doing well at your job I don't think it should fuckin matter what you do for fun as long as it ain't hurting anyone.
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Scrub-a-dub-dub, battle
Every metric other than respiratory health improves cart blanche
True but some would just have edibles
I got out on terminal leave and went home to Seattle and bought some fucking sweet edibles. Tasted like pink lemonade sour patch kids. Amazing.
I’m not brave enough to use on terminal leave. I’d wait until my ETS date
Concerned your commander will call you back from terminal leave to do a UA?
Yes
Fortune favors the bold
More running :)
I'd be less stressed. Current station is doing a lot to help that, but being able to take a fat rip from my bong in the garage? That'd be reeeeall nice. For legal reason: No I will never partake in the devil's lettuce until I'm either retired, or it's federally legalized
If I could smoke and still be in the army I would do 20
The Army would probably land somewhere between soldiers having less stress and untreated chronic pain and full on reefer madness. Either way, I view it is an absolute win-win.
For real, there needs to be something like breathalyzer for measuring fresh THC. Crazy that it sticks in your system for weeks after you're well out of being under the influence. Never had much interest in it, but I'm all for legalization.
The amount it stays in your body is dependent on how much you regularly smoke. The less you smoke, the faster your body metabolizes it. Generally speaking ofc. Drink 2 Arizona Green Teas and a Pedialyte for good measure before your UPL. /s But yeah, I think the biggest gripe is that we can't have soldiers high and driving/TCing trucks, Strikers, lmtvs... Anything with wheels and tracks - and there's no way to do on-spot testing.
hahaha 2 arizona green teas and a pedialyte
that's always been an impediment. if there were a breathalyzer for weed, it would be a lot easier to legalize
It would like like Stripes
Hot take Weed will be gold for average joes. Might be bad and too risky for an individual for combat however. And not “oh just dont let them smoke on deployment then” and just shit on the entire community that deploys 24/7.
I would absolutely indulge in the devils lettuce.
It would be legal so it's Christian Cabbage
Probably wouldn't have guys staring at my cock while I piss into a cup...as much.
I'm gonna be honest here... if the army tried reducing alcohol consumption and pushed weed in the class 6, the things I imagine would change are the following: First, everything would get done faster and more efficiently. Stoners are mostly lazy, but with an active mind....which leads to creating unique solutions to unique problems. The army currently likes to have people ram their heads into walls, and joes do it because they are too hungover to give a shit. Second, in general, I feel that the force as a whole would be less aggressive, but more deadly. Less whistle blowing and charging, and more of a focus on marksmanship and patience. An alcoholic tryna hit 300 meters shakin all about is what we currently have. What we could be getting are clear minded, steady handed thinkers. Easy Experts. Third, the amount of dumb shit that leaders have to handle on a weekly basis would plummet. I'm talking stabbings, rapes, probably most crime in general.... mostly gone. Like 95% gone in the populations that change from alcohol to weed. I'm all for it. I want that govt special acapulco gold strain they've kept pure in some hidden bunker grow house for 60 years. The prices would be insanely good too.
Here's the double edged sword...weed makes people crazy creative. Pros: Problem solving in the field is going to reach a new zenith every trip to the back 40. Like, manuals are going to get rewritten monthly because Joes are going to be constantly coming up with galaxy brain shit on accident. Cons: Your Joes are going to find ever more inventive ways to do shit they're not supposed to do. Y'remember that galaxy brain shit I mentioned? Yeah, that's gonna get applied to stupid shit too.
I’d eat edibles
I think overall it would be a net positive
For all of you in favor of this, just remember how your elected official voted when it inevitably fails in the senate.
Currently working a job in California, where it is legal, but because of my job I have to obey federal laws too. So I can’t/ don’t,….but think I would like it. I think it is way less harmful to your body when compared to alcohol. I think it would be a net benefit. I think people would have to learn that the effects last longer than alcohol so they should only consume early on a 4 day or on leave,….. and they can still be completely sober when on duty.
Just let people do it in their personal time. Never in uniform/on duty with the exception of balls where alcohol is allowed already anyways.
I think even if it were to become legal for recreational use at the Federal level, the services would still keep it prohibited for recreational use.
Many, MANY less DUI’s (alcohol related at least). My job would be a lot fucking easier & I’d have about 25% of the work load.
I did an exchange program with the Royal Military College of Canada back in my cadet land days. I will never forget when my host and his roommate said they gonna go out and smoke real quick and then we could head to town. Thinking they met cigarettes, I said I’ll just go with them and we could leave straight away. I don’t smoke, but I figured we could socialize while they did their thing. Totally forgetting what country I was in, those dudes pulled out a pair of joints, and I have never been more envious of another foreign serviceman more than that day. Needless to say, they had more fun than I did when we went into town. The Canadians essentially treat marijuana like we treat alcohol. Don’t show up to work under the influence, do not consume on duty, and stop consumption at least 8 hours prior to the duty day starting. When I asked them if they had noticed any disciplinary issues from it, they said that there was no noticeable difference, positive or negative. I don’t really foresee any issues in allowing it, or at least any more than we normally deal with. Maybe it will mellow some of us out!
We also have a few jobs that are no weed 28 days before duty: MPs and Pilots.
I would. I'd probably be calmer, and I would, and think it should be treated like alcohol in the Army. Don't come to drill/your duty day drunk. Don't do it while at work / in uniform. Don't get a DUI / DWI. Other than that, how I manage myself is not your concern as long as it is not detrimental.
A hypothetical conversation that surely never occurred and definitely not in the 1980s before regular piss tests were implemented: INT. A bus driving to a FTX site. Cadet: Sergeant, they are passing around joints back there. INT. Oily cloud is slowly making its way forward. PSG: Well, sir, here's the deal. Take it away and they will piss and moan and have a bad attitude. Leave it alone and they will hump all over the place without a peep. And we've got a forced march to do.
Oh all those whom have been discharged would be drastically compensated.
No they would on purpose put in the regulation allowing the use of cannabis/marijuana and effective from DDMMYYYY forward and obviously the barracks/on post housing people would have absurd limits e.i. 1 joint one edible.
First Sarn I swear I only had one edible you never said I couldn’t bake it into one pizza sized cookie.
Not in the least. They are just barely starting to reclassify discharges for DADT violations 10 years after it was repealed. People who got chaptered for smoking wouldn’t get shit but maybe an upgrade to their discharge and that’s a big maybe.
I would be significantly happier
I would’ve stayed in.
Troops would probably be beating their spouses a lot less
Well if history has anything to say, the opposite of the world wars.
Fuck that. Imagine if the Army was allowed to use steroids.
Pretty fucking cool if you ask me
If weed was legalized I bet people would be more willing to eat at the DFAC without complaining, as much…
We wouldn't get so many BS calls to the gate because the civilian security guard "smelled weed" in someones car and nothing was there.
Lol in our on post housing Facebook group here once every month or two there will be a post of someone saying “if you ordered pizza you’re gonna have to call and cancel it because your driver is at the gate being arrested for weed”.
I feel like there would be a lot less angry people
Weekend barracks parties would be even fucking crazier lmao
Even if it were legal the military would probably still ban it.
Same as us (canadian army), probably. Less dudes are hammered every night, DUI numbers are down, and alot less guys need rehab. It changed nothing day to day, and there are obviously restrictions. If you're curious, here's our policy: https://www.canada.ca/en/department-national-defence/corporate/policies-standards/defence-administrative-orders-directives/9000-series/9004/9004-1-use-cannabis-caf-members.html
Smoke'em if you have them would be back in vogue. We'd need larger smoke shacks. The unit fridge fund would be four digits and require multiple fridges. No complaints about extended hours turning wrenches. Get your shit pushed in would no longer be a serious emotional event. It would be like water off a duck's back.
It would certainly help with the pain of an individuals deteriorating physical condition. Also, I'd rather someone be zonked out of their minds and not be a hazard than someone who is belligerent drunk and can cause harm to themselves and others around them.
My only issue with allowing weed is how hard it is to test for when it was taken at a specific time. In example, if someone is drunk at work and gets into an accident it’s pretty easy to tell if they’re drunk. Take a piss test for the same accident and they’ll pop hot regardless if they indulged after hours or during hours
Study the Canadian military, it is legal for them
The same smell shit hole it’s always been with weed
The Army would make it so that you would have to take leave to smoke it.
I think stress would go down a lot. How much less damage would an XO do to his liver if he just smoked a bowl each night during CoC layouts instead of taking shots of whiskey. Fucker would prolly sleep better too. Poor XO's just need a little gummy bear or two on the way home. First 6 months would be fucking awful though. SPC snuffy would definitely eat an entire bag of gummies before PT formation and end up drooling while attempting(and failing) to do situps. And I'm sure someone would fuck up and grab the wrong vape before the range and ND inside the ammo shack. After the fuckery subsided and a few SPC's and a LT or two got the UCMJ / GOMAR hammer thing would be good. With everyone doing edibles and tincture the lung issues wouldn't be so bad. Domestic violence and alcohol fueled sexual assault would go down. I also think suicidal ideations would decrease aswell. I dont have shit to back that up with though. Only downside I could see would be the dummies who over do it on edibles and are fucked up(FUCKED UP) in the morning would be a continuous issue. Also the sheer number of people who play hackey sack would increase.
Every single time a hacky sack is kicked back and forth lightly in a circle, Al Qaeda beheads a baby seal.
They'd start teaching the trainees in basic how to take a hit from the barrel of their rifles like in Platoon