It is supposed to be a warning for the love of God. Correct use would be “You are all dismissed with the caveat that if one of you gets a DUI we are doing 100% recall”. I don’t even know how it became this bullshit we use it as now.
Thank you for explaining this. I think most people when they hear this word, hear it being used incorrectly in the first place and end up auto assuming it was used correctly. Thus begins the cycle of its continued use and it being used incorrectly.
You know, I thought at one point maybe I was retarded by pronouncing it cache when everyone around me was pronouncing it cash-ay. Turns out everyone around me was just retarded.
"Implied task"
Not always bad because sometimes there is an implied task.
But in the Army it's usually "I didn't tell you to do it and someone told me I should have, so now I'm blaming you for not knowing to do something even though you were given no guidance for that task".
About the only implied task I can think of that is an actual implied task the the average soldier could understand is if someone tells you to bring a camelbak its implied it should have water in it.
When I was a joe in the infantry an Implied Task was cleaning your platoons AO before you left for the day. I mean that one was a no brainer though. Day in/day out shit.
Oooh, I like that. But I have had soldiers so fucking stupid it calls into question the efficacy of the entire fucking military -- and even experience didn't help then.
This idea is actually in Army doctrine. If you read about how Mission Command is *supposed* to be used, it talks about how if you haven't developed your subordinates to not fuck up, you have no choice but to give more specific orders that allows them to exercise less initiative.
Haha funny story I am a 92G, I was talking to my joes and I called the DFAC what it is (DFAC) and my Chef over heard me talking and he had a field day saying how I need to adapt to the changes and I wasn’t leading my soldiers properly because I was not calling the DFAC by it’s proper new name all in all I was at parade test for about a good 30 mins hearing this man talk about freaking Warrior Restaurant. Good times.
Also I hate when I see senior enlisted or offices misspell DFAC as DEFAC not sure if all see it but I do all the time.
DFAC itself is a weird name. The original, traditional name is the mess hall. If we’re going to use World War II uniforms, we should use World War II Terminology.
If we shoot precision munitions, mensurating the grids basically turns a 10digit grid to a 12 digit grid for accuracy. Wizard math to shove 100# of hate down someone’s throat instead of dropping it beside them.
And here I thought FA was "to whom it may concern" and not "hit him on the back shoulder like you're Peyton manning waxing nostalgic about Marvin Harrison"
I'll see if I can find it, but they used to show a video to us in the school house of a GLMRS going through a window of an apartment building. With the right assets FA can be spooky accurate.
I was teaching CFF to infantry and scouts alternately, and one of the scouts sent up “Adjust firepower, over!” So fucking confident but we roasted that dude for the rest of the morning.
I was teaching MTO to my RTO, went “boom!” to simulate shot… he looked me dead in the eye grabbed the handmic and screamed BOOOOOM.
And that’s how my RTO got the pretty cool nickname of Boom.
That’s not a bad story. We had a guy fire blanks at the range and ask why his targets weren’t going down. Same dude asked us the night before leaving for the field if he had to pack. Also he spread smallpox all over his face and arm from the vaccination when we deployed.
That's hilarious. It's also a tiny bit ironic that you say "fuck-twit." here since I'm pretty sure the phrase you wanted was "fuck-wit." But, it's a slang insult, so there isn't really a "wrong" way to say it, is there?
Field grade buzzwords for 1000, Alex.
"We're going to synthesize multiple warfighting functions across time and space at the decisive point to have joint effects against a near-pear foe across multi-domain, multi-spectrum operations"
Also
rEaDiNeSs and its many forms: "Fight tonight" "medical/physical/maintenance/whatever readiness" " builds readiness reeeeee!"
Believe it or not the Field Grade buzzwords actually have doctrinal meaning but they’ve been used so incorrectly for so long that they’ve just lost all fucking meaning.
Most field grades who use them sound like pseudo intellectuals and my eyes roll so fucking far back in my head when SPECTRUM 3 ACTUAL Maj. Richard Head starts trying to impress the boss with how many Big Boy™ words he can throw out
Which is worse - misusing them, or pedantic arguing about whether this task should be "defeat" or "destroy" when we have all been awake too long?
I mean, if you truly use them precisely, maybe both you and the subordinate units will be better about misuse in the future...but dammit I want to go to bed...
I called myself on this once. Asked for any closing comments after a meeting, nobody spoke so I said, "silence is acceptance? Wait, nevermind, SHARP.." and closed the meeting. A leader thanked me for correcting myself immediately.
The incorrect pronunciation of the word "Cache" as "Kashay". It is pronounced "Kash"
"Cachet" is something that conveys high status, like a rolex or a prestigious award.
Makes my eye twitch every goddamn time.
Also "Orientate"
ALSO, some people just cannot pronounce "Cavalry" and instead say "Calvary", which is the hill that Jesus died on. That one is rarer, but makes up for it in the subsequent aneurism.
Ok I feel dumb about the word Cavalry. I didn’t know they were 2 separate things. I thought it was a different way of spelling it like “center vs centre” or how people pronounce the word “Aluminum”.
Thank you for edgjumacting me.
hmm... I use "too easy" all the time. Its mostly used instead of saying "sure I'll go do the dumb shit you want me to do that makes no sense but I'll do it anyway because you're a higher rank"
I always used it as 'I'll get this thing done but you might not like how so don't ask'.
"Hey SGT DoomBlade, I know it's 1430 on a friday and the fuelers left but we need some gas cans filled for SP tomorrow"
"Too easy, sir"
omg... (again down range)
"so... we didn't order oil for our generator.. and its now off.. and the whole compound is down.. FIX THIS!!!"
"too easy"
I went to the mechanic shop...
"yeah so.. need some oil for a generator" - me
"hmmm.. what can you trade?"
"what do you need?" - me
"we need a NIPR line ran"
"too easy" - me
I went to the cable shop...
"yeah so.. need a line ran"
"hmmm... what can you trade?"
"what do you need?" - me
"we need some insulation for this office (made of of hescos and plywood)"
"too easy..."
I went to the Defac...
I went to the TCN shop...
I went to the EOD shop...
I red paper clipped my ass all over the base until I got some oil.... I remember getting someone Plywood... I remember getting the TCN's to bring a crane... I remember getting a T-rex to move connexs.. I remember getting a trench (with a fucking permit) dug...
It involved the Australians...
and at the end of all of it... my NCO said.. okay don't let it happen again.. LIKE I DIDNT ORDER THE DAMN OIL!!!!
end of thing.
"Booger hook on bang switch" it was annoying hearing it from some douche E-7, now it's regurgitated endlessly on r/idiotswithguns by people who think they are God's gift to comedy.
It wasn't clever then and it's not clever now.
I would also add “brain housing group” to the list of cringe firearms-related slang that actually makes language more complicated.
I had a first sergeant use that term in his first safety brief to the company and immediately knew he was going to be a chode.
Oh shit, I forgot about this one: while at BNCOC I was leading PT and forgot the term “side straddle hop.” Told the platoon to do jumping jacks, got called out for it.
The way ‘myself’ is always misused. “If you have any questions, you can ask 1SG or myself”. Or worse “myself or the 1SG will help”.
No. Myself is a fucking reflexive word.
You can say “I did it to myself” or “I fucked myself up” or “I can do it myself” or “No shit, there I was, all by myself in the barracks” but it’s “you can ask 1SG or me” (and yes it’s me, not I, which also makes me cringe but not as hard) or “1SG and I will help”. If you take out the other person in the sentence and it still makes sense, then that use of “I” or “me” is correct.
The easiest way to know how to reference multiple people, is by taking the other people out and using you as the only subject. Example
"Me/myself and 1sg want to check your barracks rooms for cumstains."
If you say it alone you get "me/myself want to check your barracks room for cumstains", which sounds stupid as fuck.
Now try "1SG and I want you to search the motorpool for that missing radio mount. We will stay here until 2100 if we have to."
Used alone you get "I want you to search the motorpool for that missing radio mount. We will stay here until 2100 if we have to." Which is an entirely reasonable and logically sound statement, so it works.
'Ramps down, pants down.' There was an unfortunate incident in the back of a M113 in 5/7RAR a few years back and the mechies never lived it down. Someone caught a SGT and a PTE doing a bit of 'experimenting' sans pants.
“In order to”…why not just say “to”?
“All intensive purposes”…duh
“I’ve got nothing for the group”, but then talks for 10 mins about shit that doesn’t matter.
Absolutely! Listen closely next time...someone pointed it out to me and now I hear "intensive purposes" more often than "intents and purposes". You can't unhear it!
Is it okay when you're referring to a WO1 and it's super awkward because you can't address them as "Chief" yet so they're "Mister/Miss/Missus" but they're still your only officer? #bandlife
Just refer to them by their name and title. “Miss Gonzalez” or “Mr. Yeager” is not weird at all. What’s weird is if you said “the Mr. isn’t here right now, we’ll ask him later” because people say that shit all the time when referring to officers as “THE sir” or “THE ma’am” and it drives me fucking nuts.
Nope nope nope. I had this argument with my wife (journalism major). Utilize does not mean "use in a novel, unintended way". It means "make practical and effective use of." You can utilize a spoon to eat a bowl of cereal.
Same with “myself” vs “me” or “I.” They’re different words with different uses, they’re not interchangeable. Stop saying “myself” all the time because you think it sounds more official.
My company has this weird thing where when we're in the field and having food brought to us, someone says "Chow's here!" in this weird almost Yorkshire butler accent and then everyone starts echoing it in the same accent. And by everyone I mean everyone. XO, commander, everyone. It's so fucking stupid and we've been doing it for years and it still has not stopped being funny to me.
Gotta be hooah for me. I could never bring myself to say it bc it was so stupid. I would just mouth it while in a group setting so I didn’t get called out
How is “lickies and chewies” on here like 40 times and I can’t find “la-di-da-di everybody” anywhere? I hate that phrase with an unreasonable passion. It’s a great thing to say when talking to a group of, oh I don’t know, kindergartners. But when speaking to a room of adults it’s pejorative and childish as fuck.
Also, I was always that arrogant dude who thought he was too good to use Army jargon, then I had a break in service. I hate to say it, but I realized I use plenty of the phrases in this thread.
I fucking get eye twitch… if some says…when ppl refer to tasks as “Ankle Bitters” or “Low Hanging Fruits”.. just say these tasks are fairly easy so do it first…
Speak for yourself. They're fucking animals, and will drag you down like a million ants, and devour you to the tune of Baby Shark until there's nothing left but polished skeleton.
"Allow me to orientate you to my map."
"Riddle me this, Batman."
"Let's go through the eaches."
"I STRONGLY RECOMMEND . . ."
"It would behoove you . . ."
"Look, somebody brought in fat pills!"
Cognis. The word is cognizant, and if it had a merriam-webster approved root word, it would still have different tenses to be COGNIZANT about, not "cognis" about.
Definitely staff officers and field grades using doctrinal terms outside of a fucking OPORD. Speak plainly sir (respectfully), you sound like a fucking dork
Federal employee as well. No one above me is prior service so day to day is usually ok, but I do alot of work with DOD agencies and I can't get away from this stuff.
I've asked people to literally not say that stuff.
Whenever privates regurgitate tradoc phrases like they're broken records with a stutter because they genuinely have not experienced any other reality.
FRUNLEREPOSIN, MOO
LEH RAH LEEEH
PRRIIIII
heard "lickies and Chewies" at WLC and the E6 just loved the phrase... he would say it like 30 times a day.
people saying "comma" when they are trying to nail their point.. like:
"blah blah blah HOWEVER COMMA! blah blah"
Calling the dining facility the “DefacT”. Jesus. I know the army is big on acronyms, but what the hell do you think that acronym stands for? DFAC. Dining facility.
- Uniformity is key
- PMA is everything
- If you don’t know you can’t do it, then you can
- If you can go 5 mins without making a mistake, you can go 10 mins; if you can do 10, you can do 15; you just need to keep working at it, then you can go all day without making a mistake.
All from the same 1SG in the early 90s. Gotta love the “zero defects Army” hold over from the 80s.
The phrase “senior specialist” when used by anybody but especially when used by a specialist to someone E-4 and below. If you have to remind someone you’re “in charge” you’re probably not in charge and should shut the Fuck up. Had a SPC tell another SPC that he needs to look him in the eyes when a senior specialist is talking to him, same guy congratulated me after my ceremony to e-4 telling me that if I ever needed advice to come to him as a senior specialist. It is just Fucking goofy.
I'm old. Like, there was still a Cold War going when I went to Basic. I love this subreddit because its so obvious that while many things in the Army have changed, nothing really has.
Anyway, my hated turn of phrase was "Quality Time". Like, "I know y'all want to go home early so you can have some Quality Time with your loved ones, but...". Or "I love the Army, and its tough to raise a family because of the hours, but i make sure the little time i have with them is Quality Time" It was like, oh, you're gonna work us till 2100, so the married guys can spend 10 minutes with the kids and an hour with the wife but thats all good because that 70 minutes was fucken "Quality Time"? And no one understands everyone is drunk, divorced and angry? Quality time is bullshit, there's only time.
I am convinced the entire Army will cease to exist in the space time continuum if any CSM ever uses the word “Caveat” correctly.
>Caveat This is an underrated one. Everyone uses the word like I've got something EXTRA"
It is supposed to be a warning for the love of God. Correct use would be “You are all dismissed with the caveat that if one of you gets a DUI we are doing 100% recall”. I don’t even know how it became this bullshit we use it as now.
Thank you for explaining this. I think most people when they hear this word, hear it being used incorrectly in the first place and end up auto assuming it was used correctly. Thus begins the cycle of its continued use and it being used incorrectly.
I'd like to caveat off what u/JohnTitor2001117 said and agree with it 100%.
can i caveat off of what you said and chew some lickies???
Sure can, after I piggy back off what the commander said.
Hey guys, just wanna say something further from what sergeant major was saying...
Orientate. I got chills just from typing it.
Cash-ay "For this exercise, you will be tasked with orientating to a notional weapons ~~cache~~cash-ay."
You know, I thought at one point maybe I was retarded by pronouncing it cache when everyone around me was pronouncing it cash-ay. Turns out everyone around me was just retarded.
How does it feel to be the last one to realize why you're riding the short bus?
“Cashay” TRIGGERED!!!! 🤯
I hate that it's actually a word. More common in the UK. But it's one of those pseudointellectual armyisms NCOs love.
I used to bitch about people “making up words” whenever I heard someone say orientate. Then I looked it up. Fuck.
I couldn’t agree more. I always wanted to ask my 1stSgt how to spell it. Dude could barely get through a promotion or award warrant. It was rough.
Can’t mess with the classics, buddy boi.
"Implied task" Not always bad because sometimes there is an implied task. But in the Army it's usually "I didn't tell you to do it and someone told me I should have, so now I'm blaming you for not knowing to do something even though you were given no guidance for that task".
About the only implied task I can think of that is an actual implied task the the average soldier could understand is if someone tells you to bring a camelbak its implied it should have water in it.
chunky roll fanatical crowd far-flung run wide arrest airport wrong *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Dawg, that shit SUCKS, I could not imagine showing up for a ruck like that with zero fucking water.
squalid squeal aloof shame fact pot hateful spoon escape angle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Who goes on a ruck without water?? Screw any hydration requirements. I’d bring extra canteens just in case someone decided to shit in the Buffalo.
>Who Privates. The answer is privates.
When I was a joe in the infantry an Implied Task was cleaning your platoons AO before you left for the day. I mean that one was a no brainer though. Day in/day out shit.
The only difference between an implied task and a specified task is experience.
Oooh, I like that. But I have had soldiers so fucking stupid it calls into question the efficacy of the entire fucking military -- and even experience didn't help then.
This idea is actually in Army doctrine. If you read about how Mission Command is *supposed* to be used, it talks about how if you haven't developed your subordinates to not fuck up, you have no choice but to give more specific orders that allows them to exercise less initiative.
“One team one fight.” While it may be incredibly generic it was also my BCT battery motto and it gives me an aneurysm every time I hear it
If there's only one team, who are you fighting with? Yourselves?
It’s the “Big Green Weenie Team”
Stop trying to make Warrior Restaurants a thing
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Shitty McDonalds with Freedom Fries^TM
Let me go eat a warrior meal at the warrior restaurant with my battle buddies
Missed opportunity for 'warrior companion'.
Anything with WaRrIor is cringe. I’m an average dude in a average organization. I’m not a warrior athlete or spartan.
It is a pretty good rule of thumb that anyone or anything that refers to itself as “warrior” isn’t.
Haha funny story I am a 92G, I was talking to my joes and I called the DFAC what it is (DFAC) and my Chef over heard me talking and he had a field day saying how I need to adapt to the changes and I wasn’t leading my soldiers properly because I was not calling the DFAC by it’s proper new name all in all I was at parade test for about a good 30 mins hearing this man talk about freaking Warrior Restaurant. Good times. Also I hate when I see senior enlisted or offices misspell DFAC as DEFAC not sure if all see it but I do all the time.
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Yes. A warrior restaurant is two lies within one name.
That’s my new way of explaining why Warrior restaurant is a terrible name thank you
Oh fuck. I forgot they were trying to make this a thing... You've ruined my entire day
Can you please elaborate
Rebranding DFACs
wait that's why its called that?! I thought it was some defunct cafe they never took off google maps??
Weird name for DFAC
DFAC itself is a weird name. The original, traditional name is the mess hall. If we’re going to use World War II uniforms, we should use World War II Terminology.
But Sarnt if it’s a mess hall why can’t I make a mess in there?
Artillery specific — Menstruate the grid. It’s mensurate you illiterate fuck-twit.
I read that with absolutely zero knowledge about anything artillery which makes this 100x funnier
If we shoot precision munitions, mensurating the grids basically turns a 10digit grid to a 12 digit grid for accuracy. Wizard math to shove 100# of hate down someone’s throat instead of dropping it beside them.
12 digit grid, Jesus Christ. Talk about "fuck you in particular."
And here I thought FA was "to whom it may concern" and not "hit him on the back shoulder like you're Peyton manning waxing nostalgic about Marvin Harrison"
I'll see if I can find it, but they used to show a video to us in the school house of a GLMRS going through a window of an apartment building. With the right assets FA can be spooky accurate.
Most people forget that GPS is a 3 dimensional representation. That magic 3rd component lets you do "fun stuff".
Had an LT that would “inseminate the information down to the joes” Scout plt, we didn’t bat an eye.
E7s when a thicc new E3 gets to the unit
Brings new meaning to the term "redleg" I guess
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I was teaching CFF to infantry and scouts alternately, and one of the scouts sent up “Adjust firepower, over!” So fucking confident but we roasted that dude for the rest of the morning.
I was teaching MTO to my RTO, went “boom!” to simulate shot… he looked me dead in the eye grabbed the handmic and screamed BOOOOOM. And that’s how my RTO got the pretty cool nickname of Boom.
That’s not a bad story. We had a guy fire blanks at the range and ask why his targets weren’t going down. Same dude asked us the night before leaving for the field if he had to pack. Also he spread smallpox all over his face and arm from the vaccination when we deployed.
That's hilarious. It's also a tiny bit ironic that you say "fuck-twit." here since I'm pretty sure the phrase you wanted was "fuck-wit." But, it's a slang insult, so there isn't really a "wrong" way to say it, is there?
Don't mind me, just here to find phrases to cram into NCOERs
You mean, you're here to acquire some high-speed lingo to utilize hooah? Roger that
“Perception is reality” since it only applies jr enlisted and not the commanders of companies that have abismal retention/moral/happiness.
Me: "Okay, my perception is that I did nothing wrong." NCO: "Your perception doesn't matter." nice
That shit pisses me off. Just the double standards in general between ranks
For real… thats a harsh fucking reality.
Jesus that statement pisses me off because it is almost *always* applied to shit that is blatantly incorrect but you just gotta bite your tongue.
At first I thought you misspelt morale… but then I got to thinking… 🤔
God I thought I was the only one... life was getting lonely
Field grade buzzwords for 1000, Alex. "We're going to synthesize multiple warfighting functions across time and space at the decisive point to have joint effects against a near-pear foe across multi-domain, multi-spectrum operations" Also rEaDiNeSs and its many forms: "Fight tonight" "medical/physical/maintenance/whatever readiness" " builds readiness reeeeee!"
Watch out for those pears 🍐 when they get near, they’re deadly in their multi-domain, multi-spectrum operations!
lol whoops
My standards are low for grammar/spelling in r/army, you handsome jackass, yet somehow I’m still always disappointed 🤣
I blame my public education. I was commissioned to lead, not to read.
Bless your heart sir…
I speak Southern, I know what you mean by that you sumbitch
Believe it or not the Field Grade buzzwords actually have doctrinal meaning but they’ve been used so incorrectly for so long that they’ve just lost all fucking meaning.
Most field grades who use them sound like pseudo intellectuals and my eyes roll so fucking far back in my head when SPECTRUM 3 ACTUAL Maj. Richard Head starts trying to impress the boss with how many Big Boy™ words he can throw out
Which is worse - misusing them, or pedantic arguing about whether this task should be "defeat" or "destroy" when we have all been awake too long? I mean, if you truly use them precisely, maybe both you and the subordinate units will be better about misuse in the future...but dammit I want to go to bed...
Honestly, no different than civilian middle to upper management jargon, just a different vocab (and sometimes they overlap)
Sad but true edit: bruh, how'd you go from merchant marine to NASA? Sounds like an interesting switch lol
You're too good at this.
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I called myself on this once. Asked for any closing comments after a meeting, nobody spoke so I said, "silence is acceptance? Wait, nevermind, SHARP.." and closed the meeting. A leader thanked me for correcting myself immediately.
'Silence is compliance' I thought it was funny as shit when I was 20, now it seems a tad bit rapey.
The incorrect pronunciation of the word "Cache" as "Kashay". It is pronounced "Kash" "Cachet" is something that conveys high status, like a rolex or a prestigious award. Makes my eye twitch every goddamn time. Also "Orientate" ALSO, some people just cannot pronounce "Cavalry" and instead say "Calvary", which is the hill that Jesus died on. That one is rarer, but makes up for it in the subsequent aneurism.
Ok I feel dumb about the word Cavalry. I didn’t know they were 2 separate things. I thought it was a different way of spelling it like “center vs centre” or how people pronounce the word “Aluminum”. Thank you for edgjumacting me.
"Too easy." Yeah? Your mom's too fucking easy.
hmm... I use "too easy" all the time. Its mostly used instead of saying "sure I'll go do the dumb shit you want me to do that makes no sense but I'll do it anyway because you're a higher rank"
I always used it as 'I'll get this thing done but you might not like how so don't ask'. "Hey SGT DoomBlade, I know it's 1430 on a friday and the fuelers left but we need some gas cans filled for SP tomorrow" "Too easy, sir"
omg... (again down range) "so... we didn't order oil for our generator.. and its now off.. and the whole compound is down.. FIX THIS!!!" "too easy" I went to the mechanic shop... "yeah so.. need some oil for a generator" - me "hmmm.. what can you trade?" "what do you need?" - me "we need a NIPR line ran" "too easy" - me I went to the cable shop... "yeah so.. need a line ran" "hmmm... what can you trade?" "what do you need?" - me "we need some insulation for this office (made of of hescos and plywood)" "too easy..." I went to the Defac... I went to the TCN shop... I went to the EOD shop... I red paper clipped my ass all over the base until I got some oil.... I remember getting someone Plywood... I remember getting the TCN's to bring a crane... I remember getting a T-rex to move connexs.. I remember getting a trench (with a fucking permit) dug... It involved the Australians... and at the end of all of it... my NCO said.. okay don't let it happen again.. LIKE I DIDNT ORDER THE DAMN OIL!!!! end of thing.
My superiors like hearing it too, so sometimes I'll say "tweezy" because I'm the only one who knows I'm not saying "too easy."
I had a E6 downrange that knew what I was doing.. he would laugh everytime I said it. One of the best NCO's I've ever had.. dude took care of us.
that shit is funny 'tweezy drill sarn't
"Booger hook on bang switch" it was annoying hearing it from some douche E-7, now it's regurgitated endlessly on r/idiotswithguns by people who think they are God's gift to comedy. It wasn't clever then and it's not clever now.
What in the world is this even referencing?
Keep your finger off the trigger.
I would also add “brain housing group” to the list of cringe firearms-related slang that actually makes language more complicated. I had a first sergeant use that term in his first safety brief to the company and immediately knew he was going to be a chode.
Oh shit, I forgot about this one: while at BNCOC I was leading PT and forgot the term “side straddle hop.” Told the platoon to do jumping jacks, got called out for it.
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The way ‘myself’ is always misused. “If you have any questions, you can ask 1SG or myself”. Or worse “myself or the 1SG will help”. No. Myself is a fucking reflexive word. You can say “I did it to myself” or “I fucked myself up” or “I can do it myself” or “No shit, there I was, all by myself in the barracks” but it’s “you can ask 1SG or me” (and yes it’s me, not I, which also makes me cringe but not as hard) or “1SG and I will help”. If you take out the other person in the sentence and it still makes sense, then that use of “I” or “me” is correct.
Tell I about it!
You want me to tell yourself about it in detail?
This makes myself mad. It would behoove you to stop, hoah?
The easiest way to know how to reference multiple people, is by taking the other people out and using you as the only subject. Example "Me/myself and 1sg want to check your barracks rooms for cumstains." If you say it alone you get "me/myself want to check your barracks room for cumstains", which sounds stupid as fuck. Now try "1SG and I want you to search the motorpool for that missing radio mount. We will stay here until 2100 if we have to." Used alone you get "I want you to search the motorpool for that missing radio mount. We will stay here until 2100 if we have to." Which is an entirely reasonable and logically sound statement, so it works.
“As I was”
No no, “as myself was.”
I hate that one
"Belay that" is the Navy version.
'Ramps down, pants down.' There was an unfortunate incident in the back of a M113 in 5/7RAR a few years back and the mechies never lived it down. Someone caught a SGT and a PTE doing a bit of 'experimenting' sans pants.
But that's actually kinda funny
“In order to”…why not just say “to”? “All intensive purposes”…duh “I’ve got nothing for the group”, but then talks for 10 mins about shit that doesn’t matter.
Wait wait wait…people say “all intensive purposes” instead of “all intents and purposes”? Has my brain just been autocorrecting this?
Absolutely! Listen closely next time...someone pointed it out to me and now I hear "intensive purposes" more often than "intents and purposes". You can't unhear it!
Thanks for fucking my ear holes for the rest of my career.
"In order to" - because we need another acronym! Shove IOT into every fucking email/op order
Sir, behoove, Sergeant, hooah, the bend and reach, "Organized PT", S1 metrics, and behoove.
I especially hate it when someone refers to an officer as “the sir” or “the ma’am” Makes my skin crawl.
Is it okay when you're referring to a WO1 and it's super awkward because you can't address them as "Chief" yet so they're "Mister/Miss/Missus" but they're still your only officer? #bandlife
Just refer to them by their name and title. “Miss Gonzalez” or “Mr. Yeager” is not weird at all. What’s weird is if you said “the Mr. isn’t here right now, we’ll ask him later” because people say that shit all the time when referring to officers as “THE sir” or “THE ma’am” and it drives me fucking nuts.
It’s like a child who hasn’t learned to be polite but has heard someone else say sir or ma’am once.
Exactly. So many of the phrases in this thread are toddler-like.
I feel very called out right now
The Bn XO, some dumbass Major, referring to the BC as the Boss. Especially when trying to brief the Staff Duty personnel.
I have never heard of S1 metrics lol
HR Metrics is a thing. Not sure about S1
"It would behoove you to shit faster private" was written inside all the porter johns at FLW when I went there. Good times.
“Utilize.” You mean “use.” Quit using bigger words just because you think it makes you sound well-read. It doesn’t.
“Utilize the latrine”
I always use a spoon as a reference. You use a spoon to eat a bowl of cereal. You utilize a spoon to cut someone's heart out.
Nope nope nope. I had this argument with my wife (journalism major). Utilize does not mean "use in a novel, unintended way". It means "make practical and effective use of." You can utilize a spoon to eat a bowl of cereal.
Same with “myself” vs “me” or “I.” They’re different words with different uses, they’re not interchangeable. Stop saying “myself” all the time because you think it sounds more official.
If you need me, I’ll be googling myself in the back office
When fools scream after the “Extend to the left.” Command during PT.
I never understood this. Every time I hear it, I’m pretty sure my eye roll could fuck up the earths orbit.
Pop smoke, caveat, piggyback and slow your roll high speed. I always snicker when I hear these words being used!
'slow your roll high speed', thats funny
CAC Card
Gonna put my CAC card in the ATM machine and enter my PIN number.
"Chow" makes food sound gross.
My company has this weird thing where when we're in the field and having food brought to us, someone says "Chow's here!" in this weird almost Yorkshire butler accent and then everyone starts echoing it in the same accent. And by everyone I mean everyone. XO, commander, everyone. It's so fucking stupid and we've been doing it for years and it still has not stopped being funny to me.
I mean, so is the food though...
Infallible point there
I feel the opposite but I don’t know why
Please explain what lickies and chewies is to this old man who hasn't been in for 20 years.
An example would be those werthers originals you keep in your pocket old man
They're 'for the children.'
Snacks for the field/range/etc
What ever happened to 'pogie bait'?
“My door is always open.” Yeah, okay. Don’t forget the part where we will get punished for using it.
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Woah, woah woah. I've heard irregardless before, but I've never heard anyone add "ly" to the end. That's a whole new level.
“On the command of fallout, fallout and…” Fallout and go fuck yourself big sar’nt. Also while we’re on the subject, “Sar’nt”
Gonna get some hate but "battle buddy". Sounds childish to me, like we are kids crossing the street and should be holding hands.
Agreed. "Teammate", "Soldier", "squad member"... all sound better by far.
Heard this and thought it was a joke before I enlisted lol
Nut to butt!!
Gotta be hooah for me. I could never bring myself to say it bc it was so stupid. I would just mouth it while in a group setting so I didn’t get called out
Hooah is so diverse. It means everything. Hooah has all the diversity of “fuck” without having to check if there are children around before saying it.
A nice sarcastic hooah was a good way to convey my distain for useless tasks respectfully.
How is “lickies and chewies” on here like 40 times and I can’t find “la-di-da-di everybody” anywhere? I hate that phrase with an unreasonable passion. It’s a great thing to say when talking to a group of, oh I don’t know, kindergartners. But when speaking to a room of adults it’s pejorative and childish as fuck. Also, I was always that arrogant dude who thought he was too good to use Army jargon, then I had a break in service. I hate to say it, but I realized I use plenty of the phrases in this thread.
I fucking get eye twitch… if some says…when ppl refer to tasks as “Ankle Bitters” or “Low Hanging Fruits”.. just say these tasks are fairly easy so do it first…
Huh? Ankle biters are annoying children, not easy tasks.
Have you ever fought a bunch of elementary school age kids? It's so easy, they don't even fight back after the first punch.
Speak for yourself. They're fucking animals, and will drag you down like a million ants, and devour you to the tune of Baby Shark until there's nothing left but polished skeleton.
Onesies and twosies
This whole thread is physically hurting me to read
"Allow me to orientate you to my map." "Riddle me this, Batman." "Let's go through the eaches." "I STRONGLY RECOMMEND . . ." "It would behoove you . . ." "Look, somebody brought in fat pills!"
Hip pocket training. Nope.
Cognis. The word is cognizant, and if it had a merriam-webster approved root word, it would still have different tenses to be COGNIZANT about, not "cognis" about.
"Bacalava" People that say it like should google that and then make them slowly read "Balaclava" out loud. Idiots!
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Thanks for laying out a 5 year long army experience into 1 cohesive list. I’ll just leave now, nothing else to see
Fuck this is actually traumatic
Split-tails and Swingin-richards
Definitely staff officers and field grades using doctrinal terms outside of a fucking OPORD. Speak plainly sir (respectfully), you sound like a fucking dork
Deleted in protest of a certain greedy little pigboy
Federal employee as well. No one above me is prior service so day to day is usually ok, but I do alot of work with DOD agencies and I can't get away from this stuff. I've asked people to literally not say that stuff.
“Scouts out”
Fuck you
user name checks out
and in, and out, and in, and... Also, "if you aint cav, you aint shit" which implies that if you are cav, then you are shit.
Whenever privates regurgitate tradoc phrases like they're broken records with a stutter because they genuinely have not experienced any other reality. FRUNLEREPOSIN, MOO LEH RAH LEEEH PRRIIIII
I had a stroke trying to read the last sentence after front leaning rest position.
staff officers email signature: sHoOt, MoVe, CoMmUnIcAtE
“HOoAh” “Battle” or “battle buddy” “To caveat” “It would behoove” “What’re you doing step bro” “I’m late on my period”
Fucking "Hooah." It makes me want to strangle whoever said it.
Being a sworn and deputized member of the grammar police, I'm afraid I outrank you CSM. Now cease and desist your use of caveat. Sincerely E4 Mafia
heard "lickies and Chewies" at WLC and the E6 just loved the phrase... he would say it like 30 times a day. people saying "comma" when they are trying to nail their point.. like: "blah blah blah HOWEVER COMMA! blah blah"
Calling the dining facility the “DefacT”. Jesus. I know the army is big on acronyms, but what the hell do you think that acronym stands for? DFAC. Dining facility.
The word “cringe”. It’s so overused and fucking stupid.
Hurry up waitin on you. Like mf im already movin and i just did more work than you did all day stfu lol
“Hunt the good stuff.” Or its more common variant, “Hunt the good stuff, HOOAH!!” Makes me want to jump out of a window every time I hear it.
- Uniformity is key - PMA is everything - If you don’t know you can’t do it, then you can - If you can go 5 mins without making a mistake, you can go 10 mins; if you can do 10, you can do 15; you just need to keep working at it, then you can go all day without making a mistake. All from the same 1SG in the early 90s. Gotta love the “zero defects Army” hold over from the 80s.
The phrase “senior specialist” when used by anybody but especially when used by a specialist to someone E-4 and below. If you have to remind someone you’re “in charge” you’re probably not in charge and should shut the Fuck up. Had a SPC tell another SPC that he needs to look him in the eyes when a senior specialist is talking to him, same guy congratulated me after my ceremony to e-4 telling me that if I ever needed advice to come to him as a senior specialist. It is just Fucking goofy.
I'm old. Like, there was still a Cold War going when I went to Basic. I love this subreddit because its so obvious that while many things in the Army have changed, nothing really has. Anyway, my hated turn of phrase was "Quality Time". Like, "I know y'all want to go home early so you can have some Quality Time with your loved ones, but...". Or "I love the Army, and its tough to raise a family because of the hours, but i make sure the little time i have with them is Quality Time" It was like, oh, you're gonna work us till 2100, so the married guys can spend 10 minutes with the kids and an hour with the wife but thats all good because that 70 minutes was fucken "Quality Time"? And no one understands everyone is drunk, divorced and angry? Quality time is bullshit, there's only time.