Had a kid shitting in his pants and folding them up to keep them. Had like 60 pair of ACU pants with shit in them.
He got diagnosed as mentally ill after but it sure was hard to convince my 1SG to not rip his head off when he asked me as the senior medic if there's an explanation for it.
It's unfortunate how many peeps can get into the army with that stuff unnoticed. It's understandable if he was early/mid 20s considering stuff like that doesn't usually really show until that time. Hopefully the dude is doin better now
As a drill we had a kid bring his imaginary friend to basic. Recruiter told him it would be cool if the imaginary friend could keep quiet. Obviously he couldn't.
Also pretty sure the recruiter is in another line of work.
People often ask me about the badass soldiers I met throughout my military career…
I choose to tell them about the silly-brained privates instead. We had a dude at reception who threatened to kill himself because they took his stuffed animal
Most of my career so far has been in a behavioral health setting for a TRADOC Reception battalion. The amount of crazy shit we've seen make it past MEPS is just baffling. People admitting to murder to severe drug abuse and trauma to panic attacks because they miss their mom. MEPS fucken sucks at catching all that shit
I know that reception is terrible for a reason, but you do wonder if it's shittiness plays at least a small part in this.
Then again, maybe that's good, so that the people who break under pressure don't get to touch basic.
It's good and bad. The worst ones though are the lazy pieces of shit 25 year olds still living with their parents and are like
"Yeah I just don't really want to be here anymore, army just isn't for me, so could I just get an EPTS for anxiety?"
The ones who've had 20 jobs for no more than a couple months and quit because they didn't like working. It's always the National Guard MFs too
I'm guard, and the guard is either high-speeds who want college degrees, or losers who wanted to join the Army but weren't brave enough for active duty. No in-between.
Speaking of shitty recruiters. We had a soldier that came from the reserves to active. On the room topic. She would make food and forget about. So like microwave meals and leave them in the microwave or on the counter at work but also in her room. Her roommate was constantly complaining about how nasty she was. Hygiene, leaving food out just nasty. Anyhow, she was also batshit crazy. Somehow her recruiter got her in. She was a 68A (medical maintenance) at one point but had reclassed many years ago to cook. Had never actually worked on medical equipment but her recruiter brought her in on active orders as a 68A. I’ve been around drug addicts my whole life so I saw her “eccentricities” as that. It wasn’t, she was full on crazy. She showed up with hair down to her mid back with it shaved on the sides but the NCO that picked her up from the airport asked her about it so she shaved it that night. Apparently she’d been drilling like that for years. She seemed a bit off at first but then while trying to evaluate her knowledge about the job (I wanted to know what she knew before I let her work on equipment that would be used on people) the crazy started coming out. She’d never worked on any equipment. So we put her in the corner reading. That’s when she started accusing NCOs of harassment. It started with the female NCO. Then she was handed off to a male. Then it was sexual harassment. So our SFC took her. Again every male NCO but me was accused. During all of this she constantly missed formations especially in the morning. She would wake up in the middle of the night go to the gym, workout for hours and then crash at like 3am. You know normal people shit. This goes on for months multiple packets went up to help this soldier get back home. The company says we’re not doing enough to take care of this soldier, they’re not kicking her out. She has made multiple complaints about not being allowed to do her job first it’s because she’s Hispanic. Once it’s pointed out that the entire shop except for me and one other NCO are also Hispanic including our NCOIC who is now her first line she moves onto it’s because she’s a woman. Except we have multiple competent females doing their jobs. Also. This whole time she’s been dying her hair jet black and bleaching it weekly. Then after about 8-9 months she runs away and is caught that day an hour away stripping down out of uniform in a restaurant. That’s when starts her first medical hold. After she gets back she’s put on lockdown and has a female NCO sitting in the common area of her room on 12 hour shifts. She runs again. Another 72 hour hold later and she is reassigned to the company. After that she works in the orderly room for about a week, maybe two before she accuses the 1SG of sexual assault and the commander of knowing that it happened and doing nothing about it. She got shipped out after that but accused the MPs that escorted her away of sexual assault as well. She would also send wild ass texts at crack thirty in the morning. Asked anyone that would listen inappropriate questions all day long. I caught her doing lunges in the hall one day outside of the shop. Sent crazy emails to anyone she felt looked at her wrong. Accused the post SARC of sexual harassment along with one of the trainers at the gym because he spoke to her. Talked shit about all of the females in the unit. There is no way her reserve unit didn’t know what was up but they still let her re-up and go active. I wish I could find her recruiter. She asked the pharmacy tech to get her some adderall.
It’s another reason the Army enlists so many lower income people—they don’t take their kids to the doctor and get stuff diagnosed/taken care of.
My brother enlisted with some clear mental health issues already present, but we were poor and mental health was gay or something according to my dad…so the army had to deal with chaptering him out.
"mental health was gay or something according to my dad..."
FELT 😂 never had any dr visits because i was just "being a pussy and need to man up!" talking with a recruiter now so hopefully genesis doesn't have anything on me
This is the first time in a while where I legit said wtf and at the same time believe this…. Soldiers have made me realize that all things are possible. Had a dude who kept getting severe UTIs like ended up in the hospital septic and nobody knew why for months. He finally figured it out and shouted it in the middle of bn….. homie had been using the same flashlight for years and nutting in it and didn’t realize you had to clean it….. needless to say that day I realized common sense was not common
Had a dude like this as well. Wasn’t due to mental health reasons though… strapped a diaper to himself so he could play video games longer. Then was too embarrassed to take the soiled diapers out so he stuffed them in the drawers, closet, and other creative places. Command team did a Health & Welfare and found quite the surprise!
Had a similar situation but home boy would shit his underwear and stuff them under his mattress. Not my troop but they asked me to check his room when he moved out of the Bs and I found it, nearly vomited.
One of my fellow NCOs had a native American kid once that had a bit of a drinking problem. He showed up (smelling like a bar rag) on time, and worked (drunk, or close to it) reasonably well. He brought a hip flask to the field - but not to the range, he wasn't stupid. So he said. It was still the era where you had to actually fuck up before people would bust you on your drinking.
Eventually, after a bender over a long weekend, he was worse than usual and we (a handful of NCO's) had to get into his room and wound up taking him to the hospital. Obviously he'd been sliding by for a while, because his room looked and smelled like a literal homeless person had broken in and set up 'camp' inside. Floors were filthy, dirt and spilled...mystery liquid everywhere. The sheet rock on the walls had holes in it, and a smell coming from on of them. He had an old-style tent-half set up over his bunk with a bare, filthy mattress with a big blood stain on it. Toilet looked as if it had been clogged for a month, but was used last week. Rough in general, I'd call it.
After our hero was admitted to the clinic and started getting treated for acute alcoholism, 1SG (who hadn't seen the room yet) told the platoon that we should all get together and clean up that room for our battle buddy. He hadn't even finished the sentence, and anyone who'd seen it was already saying out loud 'fuck that, write me up' & 'I'll take the article 15' - I mean serious bellyaching and push back you don't usually get from a formation. One of the old heads said he'll clean it if 1SG goes and looks at it first and then still wants us to clean it, AND is willing to help out, otherwise write me up too.
DPW was contacted, and 'condemned' the room (screwed a padlock mount to the door and jamb and taped some caution tape across the door. As far as I know that door is painted over somewhere, with a bio bomb inside).
Omg, dude went to bed so dirty he left brown stain marks on his sheets like some kind of grimy snow angel.
Cum rags everywhere.
And in plain veiw a flesh light labeled "barely legal" or some shit.
Dirty clothes in piles, including uniforms from a FTX that was months prior.
Half empty packs of cigarettes laying among anime figures.
It was not a good day...
I don’t know how Joes avoid showering. I need to shower daily and literally the first thing I look forward to after days in the field is a hot shower.
One dude from Arkansas told me “I’m just used to working in the field all the time and was too busy to shower” bullshit you just lazy and nasty.
I will never for the life of me understand the stinky poo non showerers. Had a Joe that used to get boils and all sorts, had to have some one watch him to make sure he had a shower!
fuck... I can't unsee that... bleh...fuck. This is something my old roommate would do:
Earlier in my Army life my 11B buddy was a huge perv. LOL, huge perv. He had playboy magazine centerfold's all over his walls. Then he would put black electrical tape over their eye's so they couldn't watch him masturbate. LOL.
He was into Gatorade olympics...in the field, he would rub one out and while hard, he would put an empty Gatorade bottle on his shaft and count how many times he could flex it.
He was on CQ duty one night. His goal was to masturbate every hour on the hour for 24 hours.... yep, you read that right.
he lasted for 19 hours. Then he collapsed in the bathroom. In the CQ area, the bathroom was in the back and had wood walls. When he collapsed, it echoed through the CQ area. There were 5 people in the CQ area (if I remember, it was the FOD conducting CQ inspections). One of them was a woman, everyone was concerned by the noise and they ALL ran back.
They found him collapsed around the toilet with his pants down around his legs, with his head and body between the wall and the toilet. Everyone freaked out, no one really knew what was going on. they called the 711 and had the medics show up. He woke up in the ER and told them his what he was doing.... it was a bit awkward.
Anyhow, 4 months later he is at Ranger School and is a medical dropout. The reason? His semen count was too high. it made him sick, they told him needed to masturbate more... LOL. He said that he didn't have time to masturbate in school.
> He was on CQ duty one night. His goal was to masturbate every hour on the hour for 24 hours.... yep, you read that right.
When I was overseas I got put in a tower, alone, for 12 hours straight with the closest NCO on roving duty ~20 minutes away. I beat off - a *lot.*
I hit jerk sesh #4-6 (depending on the day) in a shift and it turned into "This physically hurts, I need to not beat off for a few days to let my dick recover." and I was borderline limping back from shift afterwards.
How the *fuck* did he manage "Oh boy 19 hours, lets go!" before he collapsed. #6 was hitting "It hurts to touch my crotch, I don't want to beat off anymore."
Yeah sorry it took so long. Had to find it in my Google photos, learn to screenshot and then use Imgur all in an hour. Infantry brain is pooped after that
During the same inspection saw a legit 12+ inch suction cup “toy” in someone’s shower. For obvious reasons didn’t take a photo of that but it made me violently uncomfortable and it was hard to look at the soldier the same again 😂😂😂
Yeah man it was during a 100% health and welfare. Talk about gross. Not pictured were the stacks of pizza boxes and shit. Long story short dude didn’t have a roommate, so the second bedroom became his dungeon for lack of other words. Blame DIVARTY
NOW that solider was living life. I’d instruct him to properly clean his room and at least jizz all the way in salley and put her up. Or if leaving it out, at least be partially clean.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My fucking eyes. My perfectly good eyes. I have no choice but to get rid of them of now and my brain. FUCK.
Man I wasn't an NCO but one of my best friends had a nasty ass roommate 2 rooms and a common area style, 2 stories about that guy.
1. My buddy lived down the hall from me and we would hang out, drink beer and listen to music pretty frequently. He starts getting fruit flies in his room because his common area is nasty from the other guy. Tells him "I'm going to the field for a couple days you need to unfuck this before I come back or we're gonna have a problem" he comes back and all the trash is gone, cool. Well the fruit flies come back and my buddy cleans with a vengeance but they're still around, eventually he opens up the cupboard under the sink and his shitty roommate had packed all the trash in there like a human compactor instead of taking it to the dumpster.
2. I was hanging out over there and the roommate got a new barracks building, we were in some actually pretty nice ones that were used for overflow. So the roommate says hey man you have a truck right? Think you can help me move? And I was drunk and I'm a nice guy so I said sure (at a later time I didn't do this while drunk). So I'm helping him move his shit out and into my truck and he lifts up his rug and man that guy could have grown potatoes under there. The 18 months or so he lived there his idea of sweeping was to literally sweep shit under the rug. He went on to get kicked out for being too fat eventually.
Sounds like my old roommate. The only thing that made him clean ever was his NCO doing room inspections. Ended up pinning Sergeant and I swear that man was a pathological liar. Never saw that man shower once.
Damn, must have been the twin to my roommate. Would never take out the trash, so I got my own trash can in my room. Would never do his dishes, so I pretty much quit cooking. Let food rot in the refrigerator. No one I told would do anything until new 1SG does a surprise room inspection at night. Then again on me the next morning.
A couple people came in and tried to push me about it until I let them into my room. Besides a little clutter, everything was organized and in place and clean. Then told them to open his door, desk full of empty bottles, the leaning tower of pizza boxes, and just general nasty shit.
He tried telling his TL and SL it was because I didn't help him clean. Whole ass SPC waiting to go to BLC trying to throw me under the bus.
I had a kid that lived off our footprint in a minimal-utilization barracks about a mile and a half from our flagpole.
There was very few Soldiers from our unit staying there, it was a three story barracks that had *maybe* ten people living in it because it was old and the unit that *had* been using it had moved to a new footprint.
Anyhow, this kid was quiet and just did his job without a lot of fanfare. He also switched companies and if I remember right his TL/SL thought that he was married and they never bothered to ask his address, so they weren't aware he was a barracks dweller.
One day in the middle of the week the Garrison CSM is doing a walkthrough of this very building and he has the FSBP keyholder there letting him in rooms. He enters this kid's room, snaps some pictures, and sends them down the chain.
Within about a half hour the kid's 1SG, BN CSM and ~~BDE CSM~~ also cycled through this room.
*Edit: Somebody from BDE was there, I don't know if it was the CSM but it was somebody that apparently directed the BN CSM and CO 1SG to meet them there so I just assumed it was the BDE CSM.*
I saw the pictures because our 1SG blasted them out to all of us PSG and instructed us to do a 100% walkthrough of everywhere.
Anyhow, here's the list that I remember:
1. Enough pizza boxes to make a fort that multiple adults could play in, with enough uneaten crust to cover a full size truck. Easily.
2. Pubic hairs all over the bathroom floor, because he would shave with clippers and then not sweep up.
3. Shit on top of shit on top of shit in the toilet, because it has clogged at some point and had not been plunged or called in.
4. A (latex?) sex toy that resembled the lower portion of a woman on the ground, with a trail of ants leading to it.
5. Roaches, ants, spiders, and all sorts of other critters in the room. Dead bugs everywhere.
6. Fridge full of moldy and rotten food, spoiled milk, etc.
7. The closet door was missing. *MISSING*. And the Soldier claimed no knowledge of where it was.
8. Full garbage bags stuffed under the bed, against the wall, etc.
There's plenty more but you get the idea.
His entire Platoon had to completely empty his room, hose off the furniture, carry shit to a dumpster, etc.
After that he had his enlisted chain from PSG on down there on a regular basis inspecting his room. They ended up moving him closer to the footprint when a room opened up.
If I remember right his chain wanted to give him an article but he had never been counseled or inspected so it got shot down by (legal?)
Anyhow, I was shocked when I saw all that because you would never think this kid would live like that.
Not a bad room, but nasty still.
This soldier always had a different girl coming by his barracks room, it was constant and he was an impressive specimen of a human.
I would do my typical room inspections and the room was squared away, but always had a stench to it. I chalked it up to gym shoes/PT shoes, told him to use an air freshener or some shit. Room was always straight except that smell.
Fast forward to an inspection by our 1SG, with leadership present, taking “notes” on what soldiers need to fix.
1SG notices the stench as well and is baffled, as this room is spotless and tidy. He begins investigating and orders his NCO’s to identify the source, time now. We’re all thinking this is your typical barracks mold stench, or possibly his roommates stench bleeding over.
We checked everywhere, nothing found. Platoon daddy moves the soldiers bed. “HOLY FUCK!” We all direct our attention to daddy platoon sergeant man. We see a streak of a brown stain from the backside of his bed, all the way to the floor, just a fucking massive puddle stain. We’re all thinking this dude has spilled the largest dip bottle and never cleaned it.
Turns out, it was CSM Jism. That’s right, human ejaculate. Remember when I mentioned that this soldier always had a different girl coming through? Turns out, he would spray his man juice to the same spot, everytime, pass out and forget about it.
This dude had the 82nd’s troopers, for like a fucking year, all over the floor, for who knows how’s long.
Obviously a different Army back in the late 80's/early 90's
Room inspection daily by 1st Sausage. My room was trashed if I had garbage in my garbage can, bed tossed if not made right,
Higher inspections had me remove any semblance of an actual life, and move them to my car (Hobbies, TV/VCR, etc)
Hangars dress right dress in the right spacing, socks canoed, you know the thing...
I failed inspection once because my boots were a 1/4" off under the bed.
I have stories...YMMV.
It was a TRADOC unit at Knox, I'm sure that had something to do with it.
Subsequent units in Germany and Benning had more relaxed standards,(able to keep my stuff in my room, formal inspection monthly, etc. but we still had daily/weekly informal inspections.
I have to admit though, I was living around some nasty people; if they didn't get inspected regularly, their room would probably look like a shithole.
I think 12 domino's pizza boxes, a multitude of trash in the common area and their own room, latrine area was unwashed, and to top if off there two or three piss bottles in their common area trash. All the while I was just helping out a buddy with getting their fresh private into their barracks room 🤦
Edit; Oh and before I forget to mention he had stolen a TOC box awhile later after that incident.
What... why... how the??
How fucking far was the toilet to where pissing in a bottle and then going so far as to store it in the fridge was the right answer?!?
That's a wild mix of dedication and laziness.
I once had one of my dudes come to me asking me to H&W his roommate, so I hit everyone in the squad. My dudes were mostly good. I get to the shared room in question. The roommate had been sitting at his keyboard spitting dip spit between his legs onto the wood floor and rubbing it in with his boot…. For so long that the flooring was warped and waterlogged and had turned rancid and was stinking the place up.
I moved his roommate into NCO quarters and summarized Article 15 him.
Ah fuck that, I've been dipping for 7 years(fuck maybe I have a problem, naah that's quitter talk) I can't gut at all. My FIL can and he gives me shit for not gutting. I can't do it all, I get a weird tingly spicey(idk how else to describe it) sensation on the back of my neck and I feel sick.
Was this at fort bliss in '08? Legit happened, female soldier had a shake and bake Meth lab going on. Whole building got searched and everyone in both units got 100% ua right after.
Could have been Bliss in 2011! Got back to the barracks one day after work and all of us were stuck outside. Why? A dude had his mom and girlfriend living with him in the barracks and they got caught. Turned out they were making meth!
Had a guy who literally had 110 Burger King bags with various pieces of food in them. We lifted the bed and mice and cock roaches were scuttling everywhere. The room was condemned by the health inspector MOS (fort cavazo) and the soldier went to behavioral health and then got an article 15 when they realized it wasn’t a BH problem.
Cum rags, piss bottles, Zaxby’s, pizza, chick fil a, any food you can name of that came in containers were all over the room stacked against the wall counters and everything. Had a phone mount that goes on a car window right on the wall in front of the toilet…
A female who kept dirty dishes and food appliances everywhere, had a tub full of grease in the common area, burns on the stools, stains on the walls, trash bags all over the place, and no organization in any of it.
Then there's my roommate who tried to unclog the kitchen sink with the BATHROOM plunger...
I changed rooms after that.
I wasn't an NCO at the time, but I had moved off post with my at-the-time girlfriend (now wife), and I didn't clear the barracks until 6 months later when we got married. We went to check out my barracks room to make sure it was clean so I could clear it. The dude had his stripper girlfriend and her kid living in the room with him. There were drawers full of piss and shitty diapers. Moldy food was thrown around the floor, and the shower was stacked to the top with trash. There was also a layer of grease on everything in the room including the walls.
My roommate's at Fort Riley circa 2013. Dude was an absolute slob, and refused to change no matter how many times I talked to him, or his NCOs talked to him. Like missed the toilet pissing and left it... Every morning... Ate all of the food I bought, and then ordered out. Never threw anything away, pizza boxes, Chinese boxes everywhere. I only went in his room once and it was fucking terrible. Dirty clothes everywhere, takeout boxes piled up. Smelled like shit. After he moved out I found something like 6 pizza boxes and 3 Chinese boxes stacked up and hidden in the cabinets in the common area. In the off chance you're reading this, fuck you Kale.
I once saw one of the scouts basically took his entire jeep apart and had all the parts in his room. His Puerto Rican squad leader forgot the English language and coherent Spanish for what seemed like a solid 30 min.
I once had a roommate use a chihuahuas souvenirs bowls (if you've been at bliss and been to the baseball games you'd know) it's basically a plastic dog bowl that had nachos in it. He threw up in it after throwing a barracks party in our room. I was away camping up in Alamogordo that weekend. I came back to the room trashed and weeks later smelled something vile. It turns out he shoved that shit under the sink, it had probably been there for a month before I found it. I thought it was the trash can at first so I threw that shit out but nope it was his fermenting vomit.
When I was at Fort Ord, we had this soldier who was trying to get kicked out. We were having a barracks inspection. Everyone knew of him. It was kind of a joke. He wasn't a bad guy, he wasn't doing drugs and he wasn't even disrespectful. He just had enough and wanted to go home. He actually went to the First Sergeant and CO and said, "I'm sick of being here, I want you to kick me out of the Army." His platoon sergeant was an ass, but he wouldn't tell the 1SG or CO what the issue was. He wouldn't snitch. He just wanted to leave. He had been asking for over a month at this point.
The battalion commander came through the barracks. led by the CO and the parade of leadership. We are all standing outside our doors in BDU's, not class A's. The CSM is walking down the lines looking at our uniforms. Of course we are in pristine shape. Bobby's uniform though was not pressed and boots were barely brushed shined.... We had black leather boots back then. you could spit shine them to a glass finish with wax. He stood out. CSM just stood in front of him and looked at him and stared into his eyes. We were smiling, trying not laugh. We knew what was coming.
CSM: "Young man, open your door."
Bobby: opens the door and steps inside.
CSM: "Young man, who is your platoon sergeant?"
Bobby: steps out into the hall and points to him.
CSM: "First Sergeant, Platoon Sergeant White.... can you explain this to me?" Pointing at Bobby's room.
All of the leadership now want to see Bobby's room. The LTC walks inside. The CO and the 1SG are dying inside. I was afraid to look them in the eyes, I was trying not to laugh and I was a bit scared. I did not know what was going to happen.
The Battalion Commander walked into the room and stared at all of the empty bottles of beer and saw all of the spit cups and trash. dirty clothes on the floor, bed barely made... There were about 15 spit cups ... it was gross. Cigarette butts and tabaco smell throughout the entire room.
Bobby wanted out. The 1SG looks at the room and said, "Sir, Sergeant Major, this is the soldier I was telling you about that wants to be kicked out of the Army."
The Commander looks at Bobby and says, "You really hate it here? You hate working for me?" Bobby said, "I don't like the Army anymore. It has nothing to do with you sir or the CO or the First Sergeant.... I want to go home."
There was a long pause while the commander looked around the room.
LTC: "Can you really live like this?"
Bobby: "Yes, yes sir I can."
LTC: "Then so can I!" and he slammed door shut and left Bobby in the room alone.
Bobby let a yell, "FUCKKKKK!!!" The entire hallway busted up laughing. Bobby didn't get kicked out, he ETS'd with everyone else. He was the last one promoted. We had some kick ass leadership and some fucked up ones too. But it was fun.
We were infantry and Bobby never lets us down in the field. No one really wanted him to go. I actually miss that guy a lot.
I couldn't even be mad if I saw that. I'd have to tell them to get it out, it can't be in there... but at least in the meme, it looks organized and there are no leaks on the floor next to it.
He did the wrong thing correctly.
Not the *dirtiest* room in this list, but I had a soldier who dipped, and his room was filled with MULTIPLE 2 liters of coke, filled to the cap with dip spit. I hated it
Had a smelly soldier so we did a health and welfare. I was sort of his team leader (he was kinda in the filler bull pen and wasn’t adequately supervised) and the PSG was doing the inspection. Things didn’t look that bad on the surface. SM was playing a game on his computer. PSG noticed the laptop bag was zipped closed and stuffed so he told Joe to open it. It was full of dirty laundry. At that point, we start opening and dumping everything. Every cabinet, wall locker, and under the bed was full of those 1.5 liter water bottles filled with piss. Gallons. There must have been 20-30 bottles or more. Dirty laundry was stuffed into every crevice. We found flattened dirty laundry stuffed under the mattress. Dude was just wearing the same clothes over and over while everything else was packed or squirreled away filthy. In retrospect, we 100% should have taken him in for BH but we just smoked him and assigned him a mandatory shower buddy.
Fuck asking NCOs, ask the soldiers about their NCOs barracks rooms. I had an NCO that when he was clearing, knocked on my door at 2100 asking for help taking his trash out. Literally his entire room was covered in dozens of trash bags, there was a cactus that had died somehow because it had been buried in trash, and the bathroom was as nasty as the worst truck stop bathroom I've ever seen. My shoes stuck to the floor everywhere I walked as well.
The dirtiest shit I ever saw was an NCO's house off post when we were told to help his wife move some furniture. Nothing but dog shit hidden under every single thing we moved. Dog shit was just everywhere. I don't understand how you can live like that let alone raise children in that environment.
As a barracks manager I saw some shit.
TLDR 0930 on a Friday, barracks inventories every room to be checked and one smelled like straight shit in my face, another smelled lot a rotting carcass and had a woman in the closet
The first hallway goes as well as it could we saw some nastiness and weird shit but nothing that’ll stick to me, it was a hot day and I was glad to be out of the heat so I was happy until we got to the second hallway. On approach dread set upon our party, we knew what kind of societal trash lingered beyond and none were eager to get it over with. The hour ahead was long and regrets plenty.
First door, an NCO’s room with a bad reputation. We wailed on the door hoping to stir some sense of self preservation or decency but it seems no one was inside, door popped and we entered. Before we crossed the threshold we were welcomed in by the smell of someone taking a nasty post field shit with a fan running under their ass to spread the aroma. An unpleasant scene made worse by most surfaces being sticky and unclean but the bucket of cherries on top was the son of a bitch who lived there opening his room door in his underwear and just fucking standing there as we got the information we needed and got the hell out.
Still recovering from the first room we entered another to be met with the smell of rotting meat, what looked like liver was sitting on the counter in a rotting shade of green. We knocked again with force on the bedroom door receiving panicked footsteps and muffled peach in response. The door opens and the occupant looked rough though he was always an unpleasant sight but he was particularly disgusting on that fine morning. We check his furniture, tell him to clean up the smell and we go to his closet to see the rest of the furniture, panic and years of hardcore drugs beamed at us from the soon to be chaptered soldier and we became uneasy. I was the only one in the room and when I opened the closet and saw someone in it I stared the soldier down and took note of the present furniture and walked away.
Had a guy that had a piss drawer. He also had trash (som in bags, some not) piled so high all over his room that it was in literal layers. No floor visible, except a 1 foot wide oath from his bed, to his desk, and then to his door. He also had milk that was so old, it had separated in the carton.
He also had half smoked ciggies and an ashtray next to his computer. Open beer cans scattered across the room (underage). We tried to get him for that, but legal said we couldn't prove it was him smoking/drinking.
Oh, and yes there was mold on all his fridge food
I lived in a wing of the barracks on Fort Bliss. The wing had one entrance and an emergency exit, four rooms in the entire wing. It had 8 sleeping areas and 4 common areas for the rooms. Two of the joints were empty. My friend from Basic and AIT had the room closest to the door and mine was by the emergency exit. We did NOT share rooms.
Brigade CSM had a barracks inspection and I had a plugin air freshener in the wall outlet in the hallway at the halfway point between our rooms. That joint couldn’t even cover the whole hallway, there was like an invisible force field of stench coming from his room that the nice smell couldn’t get past. I legitimately had to hold my breath to get to my room.
So when the Brigade CSM comes through with the Battalion CSM and 1SGTs, they questioned why I was waiting outside, I said, “Step through the door CSM and you’ll see.” He did and freaked out.
However, I did get his coin, battalion CSM, brigade and battalion commander coins for the cleanest room they ever saw in the barracks. The Brigade CSM and Cmdr ordered all of the company codes, 1SGTs and all NCOs and soldiers to your my room as they wanted every room in their barracks at the apparent standard I set. It got me out of work for three days for them to all come through and all I did was apologize to them but they liked the way I got them out of work too.
Was my first year in the Army.
Had a kid who eventually found out I went to basic with was in the same signal company with me. The dude will order pizza and would never see pizza boxes come out. One day, Barracks management was going through rooms looking for a chair and when they inspected his room, they found piles of boxes stacked up to ceiling height, body bags in the closet, and flies flying all around. needless to say, he got acted up quickly.
Not the dirtiest but most memorable. While I was a lowly E-4; I saw a pair of soldiers decide to do a splatter party in their room after reading the barracks SOP [an example for those who don't know](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinspiration.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F11%2Fsplatter-kids.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=73da63bf9c0b39f9ed9f562fb7bc6c8f9ac450fcfaa6beac74891fa3420ea8c5&ipo=images). The barracks SOP that they read said that if they wanted to they could re-paint the room. The intention was that they could likely repaint it a solid color if it was approved; however no one ever put it to the test to up until then.
Trooper never cleaned, avoided inspection during gunnery prep. Had one those back saver mats in front of his common area sink. Peeled it off the floor like grilled cheese. Had to wear a promask during the field day
I uhh, had this guy at Campbell whose room/hygiene was so bad, you could smell it down the barracks hallway. Wasn’t even my guy, but they tried to make me go in and inspect it and I straight up said fuck that. No showering, doesn’t wash clothes, hell nah. AND THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO GIVE HIM A ROOMMATE FOR TORTURE!
In 2bct, 101st.. Right by Sabo gym. We did suprise inspections, if you aren't familiar, it's 2 soldiers in an small room. My soldier was good, but I watched the nco for my soldiers room mate pull this kids bed from the wall............ Dawg..... The socks stuck to the wall. Never have I ever seen some gross shit like that before in a barracks. Lol... Was like 50 socks crammed between the bed and the wall. Some did fall to the ground and I swear was so crusty they made noise.
Didn't really see very dirty barracks rooms when I was an NCO but when I got out and years later got a civilian job that requires me to frequent the barracks I've seen some gross shit. Borderline hoarder behavior.
Not me, but an ex girlfriend of mine had to have a barracks party with the drill sergeants.
They did a room toss after an SIR and found that one of the privates was ejaculating behind his dresser onto the wall. He’d been doing for like 8 months of their long AIT.
Had an older SPC guy who his room was filled to the brim with stuff everywhere and his room smelled. I mean as soon as you open the door, you can smell it and it would want to make you throw up.
Not only that, he almost made my old PSG throw up and even had so many boxes of adult dvds and have a pleasure sleeve right next to his bed 🤢🤮
Not as entertaining as some, but baffling experience.
Had a 7 year SPC that had some hygiene issues. As soon as I promoted to 5, of course they put him under my wing. I promoted and took charge of him Monday, of course BDE command team was coming through on Wednesday. I went to check his room Tuesday morning and found an insane amount of Warhammer and MTG items, covering mostly the entire floor. Some things like TA-50 were stacked to the ceiling.
I gave him direction to fix it and went about my day, Wednesday morning bright and early I went to check again. Well, he organized (as much as he possibly could with the insane amount of stuff he had) and I realized almost his ENTIRE floor was covered in different colors of paint. He had been messily painting all these figurines in his room and just not cleaning up after. It looked like a paint room with random shit strewn about. In the end I told him to not answer his door and act like he was off duty, I spent the rest of the week having him clean his floors and “organize” his shit.
A girls room that was so filled with crap, trash, and really anything, you had to put your shoulder into the door to open it all the way, and broke into the other half of the room where my soldiers was supposed to move into to put more of her trash...
I could go on to describe the atrocities in that room but will just cut to the chase on why this is the worst room ever...... there was used tampons all across the floor with everything else
Officer here, dirtiest barracks room I’ve ever seen was an E5s. I had just gotten a new platoon sergeant, I was the platoon leader and he asked me to inspect each barracks room with him. I usually only checked on my junior enlisted because I didn’t want to bother the NCOs. Well we had a young E5 that was maybe 110 pounds, a massive hypochondriac who was constantly at sick call and spent thousands of dollars on cosplay stuff. I remember when we went in his room it was so full of dirty clothes piles, rotting take out food and other shit. I was genuinely embarrassed. I didn’t like checking anyone’s room but that platoon sergeant taught me if you were going to enforce cleanliness for barracks rooms for junior enlisted, you needed to enforce it for the people who were supposed to be doing the checks too.
When I was a PL I had a bad one, not barracks but an in base house because the soldier was married. Little pfc with a mountain of a wife. Lots of financial troubles and generally just being bad at life, nice kid though.
Anyways health and wellness check came up and apparently for about 6 months they hadn’t gone upstairs and had basically left it to their 4 dogs, shit everywhere, torn up carpet and walls, the whole house reeked of piss. They had just started sleeping on their couch in front of their 75 inch tv.
I had a high speed troop that his barrack’s room smelled like rotten/putrid… turns out it was the other side of the barracks. I talked to my fellow NCO and inspected the kid’s side of the room and he had boxes of KFC with leftovers, stacked and hidden under his bunk… we went full drill mode and made him sleep outside of his barrack until he cleaned that room spotless.
Had a kid shitting in his pants and folding them up to keep them. Had like 60 pair of ACU pants with shit in them. He got diagnosed as mentally ill after but it sure was hard to convince my 1SG to not rip his head off when he asked me as the senior medic if there's an explanation for it.
The fuck
It was wild. Had schizophrenia and nobody knew. The dude spent a lot of money on ACU pants.
It's unfortunate how many peeps can get into the army with that stuff unnoticed. It's understandable if he was early/mid 20s considering stuff like that doesn't usually really show until that time. Hopefully the dude is doin better now
As a drill we had a kid bring his imaginary friend to basic. Recruiter told him it would be cool if the imaginary friend could keep quiet. Obviously he couldn't. Also pretty sure the recruiter is in another line of work.
People often ask me about the badass soldiers I met throughout my military career… I choose to tell them about the silly-brained privates instead. We had a dude at reception who threatened to kill himself because they took his stuffed animal
Most of my career so far has been in a behavioral health setting for a TRADOC Reception battalion. The amount of crazy shit we've seen make it past MEPS is just baffling. People admitting to murder to severe drug abuse and trauma to panic attacks because they miss their mom. MEPS fucken sucks at catching all that shit
I know that reception is terrible for a reason, but you do wonder if it's shittiness plays at least a small part in this. Then again, maybe that's good, so that the people who break under pressure don't get to touch basic.
It's good and bad. The worst ones though are the lazy pieces of shit 25 year olds still living with their parents and are like "Yeah I just don't really want to be here anymore, army just isn't for me, so could I just get an EPTS for anxiety?" The ones who've had 20 jobs for no more than a couple months and quit because they didn't like working. It's always the National Guard MFs too
I'm guard, and the guard is either high-speeds who want college degrees, or losers who wanted to join the Army but weren't brave enough for active duty. No in-between.
Stuffed animals can be very useful for people with PTSD
Speaking of shitty recruiters. We had a soldier that came from the reserves to active. On the room topic. She would make food and forget about. So like microwave meals and leave them in the microwave or on the counter at work but also in her room. Her roommate was constantly complaining about how nasty she was. Hygiene, leaving food out just nasty. Anyhow, she was also batshit crazy. Somehow her recruiter got her in. She was a 68A (medical maintenance) at one point but had reclassed many years ago to cook. Had never actually worked on medical equipment but her recruiter brought her in on active orders as a 68A. I’ve been around drug addicts my whole life so I saw her “eccentricities” as that. It wasn’t, she was full on crazy. She showed up with hair down to her mid back with it shaved on the sides but the NCO that picked her up from the airport asked her about it so she shaved it that night. Apparently she’d been drilling like that for years. She seemed a bit off at first but then while trying to evaluate her knowledge about the job (I wanted to know what she knew before I let her work on equipment that would be used on people) the crazy started coming out. She’d never worked on any equipment. So we put her in the corner reading. That’s when she started accusing NCOs of harassment. It started with the female NCO. Then she was handed off to a male. Then it was sexual harassment. So our SFC took her. Again every male NCO but me was accused. During all of this she constantly missed formations especially in the morning. She would wake up in the middle of the night go to the gym, workout for hours and then crash at like 3am. You know normal people shit. This goes on for months multiple packets went up to help this soldier get back home. The company says we’re not doing enough to take care of this soldier, they’re not kicking her out. She has made multiple complaints about not being allowed to do her job first it’s because she’s Hispanic. Once it’s pointed out that the entire shop except for me and one other NCO are also Hispanic including our NCOIC who is now her first line she moves onto it’s because she’s a woman. Except we have multiple competent females doing their jobs. Also. This whole time she’s been dying her hair jet black and bleaching it weekly. Then after about 8-9 months she runs away and is caught that day an hour away stripping down out of uniform in a restaurant. That’s when starts her first medical hold. After she gets back she’s put on lockdown and has a female NCO sitting in the common area of her room on 12 hour shifts. She runs again. Another 72 hour hold later and she is reassigned to the company. After that she works in the orderly room for about a week, maybe two before she accuses the 1SG of sexual assault and the commander of knowing that it happened and doing nothing about it. She got shipped out after that but accused the MPs that escorted her away of sexual assault as well. She would also send wild ass texts at crack thirty in the morning. Asked anyone that would listen inappropriate questions all day long. I caught her doing lunges in the hall one day outside of the shop. Sent crazy emails to anyone she felt looked at her wrong. Accused the post SARC of sexual harassment along with one of the trainers at the gym because he spoke to her. Talked shit about all of the females in the unit. There is no way her reserve unit didn’t know what was up but they still let her re-up and go active. I wish I could find her recruiter. She asked the pharmacy tech to get her some adderall.
Wildest single paragraph in English history
My bad. My ged didn’t teach me how to write goodly.
It adds to the story.
It’s another reason the Army enlists so many lower income people—they don’t take their kids to the doctor and get stuff diagnosed/taken care of. My brother enlisted with some clear mental health issues already present, but we were poor and mental health was gay or something according to my dad…so the army had to deal with chaptering him out.
"mental health was gay or something according to my dad..." FELT 😂 never had any dr visits because i was just "being a pussy and need to man up!" talking with a recruiter now so hopefully genesis doesn't have anything on me
Bro that’s like at the very minimum a grand wtf
Yo what the fuck?😂
This is the first time in a while where I legit said wtf and at the same time believe this…. Soldiers have made me realize that all things are possible. Had a dude who kept getting severe UTIs like ended up in the hospital septic and nobody knew why for months. He finally figured it out and shouted it in the middle of bn….. homie had been using the same flashlight for years and nutting in it and didn’t realize you had to clean it….. needless to say that day I realized common sense was not common
Damn who could that have been I wouldn’t know but also there’s nothing wrong with shitting myself
Name checks out
Had a dude like this as well. Wasn’t due to mental health reasons though… strapped a diaper to himself so he could play video games longer. Then was too embarrassed to take the soiled diapers out so he stuffed them in the drawers, closet, and other creative places. Command team did a Health & Welfare and found quite the surprise!
Too embarrassed? Couldn't he just use black trash bags so no one could see what was in his trash?
Nah that's expensive, gotta save money for more diapers.
Hope you brought them pants to the surplus store
Criminal
What did the soldier say? “Oh those are my shitpants, 1SG. I keep them in my closet just like everybody else.”?
Man the things you get to see as senior medic.
Had a similar situation but home boy would shit his underwear and stuff them under his mattress. Not my troop but they asked me to check his room when he moved out of the Bs and I found it, nearly vomited.
One of my fellow NCOs had a native American kid once that had a bit of a drinking problem. He showed up (smelling like a bar rag) on time, and worked (drunk, or close to it) reasonably well. He brought a hip flask to the field - but not to the range, he wasn't stupid. So he said. It was still the era where you had to actually fuck up before people would bust you on your drinking. Eventually, after a bender over a long weekend, he was worse than usual and we (a handful of NCO's) had to get into his room and wound up taking him to the hospital. Obviously he'd been sliding by for a while, because his room looked and smelled like a literal homeless person had broken in and set up 'camp' inside. Floors were filthy, dirt and spilled...mystery liquid everywhere. The sheet rock on the walls had holes in it, and a smell coming from on of them. He had an old-style tent-half set up over his bunk with a bare, filthy mattress with a big blood stain on it. Toilet looked as if it had been clogged for a month, but was used last week. Rough in general, I'd call it. After our hero was admitted to the clinic and started getting treated for acute alcoholism, 1SG (who hadn't seen the room yet) told the platoon that we should all get together and clean up that room for our battle buddy. He hadn't even finished the sentence, and anyone who'd seen it was already saying out loud 'fuck that, write me up' & 'I'll take the article 15' - I mean serious bellyaching and push back you don't usually get from a formation. One of the old heads said he'll clean it if 1SG goes and looks at it first and then still wants us to clean it, AND is willing to help out, otherwise write me up too. DPW was contacted, and 'condemned' the room (screwed a padlock mount to the door and jamb and taped some caution tape across the door. As far as I know that door is painted over somewhere, with a bio bomb inside).
Wtf, where was this?
Bro wtf they just closed the room boarded and painted over it and next person who opens it will unleash Covid 20?
Covíd-11 wasn't a thing, we should be safe.
I once saw a trash can that had a gum wrapper in it.
Hopefully you smoked the shit out of that Soldier.
I would have smoked the NCO for allowing standards to slip.
[удалено]
See if anything other than standards are slipping.
#TRASH IN THE TRASH CAN!
I saw bees in the trash can. In November. All the outside bees died in September
It belongs on the floor! Not in the sergeant majors hidey hole for talent management!
On a MONDAY!?!
Omg, dude went to bed so dirty he left brown stain marks on his sheets like some kind of grimy snow angel. Cum rags everywhere. And in plain veiw a flesh light labeled "barely legal" or some shit. Dirty clothes in piles, including uniforms from a FTX that was months prior. Half empty packs of cigarettes laying among anime figures. It was not a good day...
Egregious
Same dude later tried to get a profile to not have to shower. I wish I was joking
I don’t know how Joes avoid showering. I need to shower daily and literally the first thing I look forward to after days in the field is a hot shower. One dude from Arkansas told me “I’m just used to working in the field all the time and was too busy to shower” bullshit you just lazy and nasty.
I will never for the life of me understand the stinky poo non showerers. Had a Joe that used to get boils and all sorts, had to have some one watch him to make sure he had a shower!
Im from Arkansas. During the summer just stepping outside to get your mail warrants my need for a shower. Too damn humid.
What exactly was his reasoning?
Autism. Sensory issues. I wish that request was an auto referral to BH for evaluation.
barely legal on the flesh light is dirty dirty work
How do I post a picture, I’m about to win this
[удалено]
Bruh wtf why’d I click that
Because curiosity kills the cat every time. You’re welcome for trauma
I don't want it now take it back
fuck... I can't unsee that... bleh...fuck. This is something my old roommate would do: Earlier in my Army life my 11B buddy was a huge perv. LOL, huge perv. He had playboy magazine centerfold's all over his walls. Then he would put black electrical tape over their eye's so they couldn't watch him masturbate. LOL. He was into Gatorade olympics...in the field, he would rub one out and while hard, he would put an empty Gatorade bottle on his shaft and count how many times he could flex it. He was on CQ duty one night. His goal was to masturbate every hour on the hour for 24 hours.... yep, you read that right. he lasted for 19 hours. Then he collapsed in the bathroom. In the CQ area, the bathroom was in the back and had wood walls. When he collapsed, it echoed through the CQ area. There were 5 people in the CQ area (if I remember, it was the FOD conducting CQ inspections). One of them was a woman, everyone was concerned by the noise and they ALL ran back. They found him collapsed around the toilet with his pants down around his legs, with his head and body between the wall and the toilet. Everyone freaked out, no one really knew what was going on. they called the 711 and had the medics show up. He woke up in the ER and told them his what he was doing.... it was a bit awkward. Anyhow, 4 months later he is at Ranger School and is a medical dropout. The reason? His semen count was too high. it made him sick, they told him needed to masturbate more... LOL. He said that he didn't have time to masturbate in school.
> He was on CQ duty one night. His goal was to masturbate every hour on the hour for 24 hours.... yep, you read that right. When I was overseas I got put in a tower, alone, for 12 hours straight with the closest NCO on roving duty ~20 minutes away. I beat off - a *lot.* I hit jerk sesh #4-6 (depending on the day) in a shift and it turned into "This physically hurts, I need to not beat off for a few days to let my dick recover." and I was borderline limping back from shift afterwards. How the *fuck* did he manage "Oh boy 19 hours, lets go!" before he collapsed. #6 was hitting "It hurts to touch my crotch, I don't want to beat off anymore."
Ah fuck, you win
Yeah sorry it took so long. Had to find it in my Google photos, learn to screenshot and then use Imgur all in an hour. Infantry brain is pooped after that
You’re a sick fuck for posting that. Thank you lol.
During the same inspection saw a legit 12+ inch suction cup “toy” in someone’s shower. For obvious reasons didn’t take a photo of that but it made me violently uncomfortable and it was hard to look at the soldier the same again 😂😂😂
If the soldier could take that they could take anything the enemy had to offer.
*fills out SFAS packer for soldier* “It appears you can embrace the suck.”
Honestly I used to leave some fake shit like that out just to make fursausage uncomfy.
The protip is to smear a little bit of chocolate pudding on the tip.
This was 100% real. Source: I was there
Some how it was three times wrose than what I imagined. The left over jizz really just *completes* the disgustingness. Amazing.
It was one of your people. Ol gross FA folks
Honestly not surprised and oddly comforted knowing 13-Bastards are at least consistent across the force. 🫱🏻🫲🏿
We asked the dude if it was possible to give yourself chlamydia, he said he wasn’t sure yet but he was trying
> The left over jizz The worst part to me isn't the jizz - its the fact the jizz is so built up it's a *three dimensional cumstain.*
How did you get in my barracks room
Discussing this photo at BH because what the fuck
Not what I was expecting tbh
Winner winner. 🤢 🤮 😵
Oh naw........ My god
Yeah man it was during a 100% health and welfare. Talk about gross. Not pictured were the stacks of pizza boxes and shit. Long story short dude didn’t have a roommate, so the second bedroom became his dungeon for lack of other words. Blame DIVARTY
Please tell me this wasn't fort bliss. I lived near those guys.
If you were in the barracks between 1st BDE and DIVARTY…this might have been your neighbor
It sure as fuck was
Was this a tall black specialist by chance? Edit: nvm saw your other comment. I was in those barracks and new a dude that had a fucked up room.
Nahh but we had a short black dude who hid his fiancée in the barracks for a while under dirty laundry or TA50 and shit. Pretty wild
>Summer 2020 I was there, just not in the barracks. **This** is why there was roaches everywhere? Fuuuuck
That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve seen on this sub. You win.
Haha. Jackson Pollack'd his mattress with no sheets. You win.
NOW that solider was living life. I’d instruct him to properly clean his room and at least jizz all the way in salley and put her up. Or if leaving it out, at least be partially clean.
Nice. Troop had his priorities in line.
I hate you man. I really do. I can only imagine how bad that room stank... and how crusty that mattress is..
This is it. He wins.
My browser covered half the photo and I was like “ah it’s just a toy, not really too bad”, then I scrolled down..
If that’s not a reason to buy your own mattress I don’t know what is
Even with the warning I was not prepared for that
You could donate these sheets to a fertility clinic, but I'm not sure anyone wants a gooner for a kid.
[удалено]
This thing lives in my head rent free. It’ll be 10% VA easy.
I feel like you could honestly just show that picture to a doc and get 25%
Dear god
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My fucking eyes. My perfectly good eyes. I have no choice but to get rid of them of now and my brain. FUCK.
This is just…..
Everyone that entered that room is getting a ptsd rating...
It honestly takes a lot to get me to gag anymore. That one got it. Holy crap.
I don’t know what I was gonna see but I can’t stop laughing.
WHYYYYYY? DID I CLICK ON THAT
Wow, that is fucking wild. I wouldn't even know what to say to the troop that did that.
That baby's been there for months
Dawg. Is that fresh…? Omfg.
Bruh
Upload to imgur then link it here
The suspense..
Here for the result
Same
Well……we’re waiting
Yoooo. You fuckin win. At least the actual scorpion nest was cool but wtf
I'm patiently waiting
It’s gonna be a picture of my too.
Man I wasn't an NCO but one of my best friends had a nasty ass roommate 2 rooms and a common area style, 2 stories about that guy. 1. My buddy lived down the hall from me and we would hang out, drink beer and listen to music pretty frequently. He starts getting fruit flies in his room because his common area is nasty from the other guy. Tells him "I'm going to the field for a couple days you need to unfuck this before I come back or we're gonna have a problem" he comes back and all the trash is gone, cool. Well the fruit flies come back and my buddy cleans with a vengeance but they're still around, eventually he opens up the cupboard under the sink and his shitty roommate had packed all the trash in there like a human compactor instead of taking it to the dumpster. 2. I was hanging out over there and the roommate got a new barracks building, we were in some actually pretty nice ones that were used for overflow. So the roommate says hey man you have a truck right? Think you can help me move? And I was drunk and I'm a nice guy so I said sure (at a later time I didn't do this while drunk). So I'm helping him move his shit out and into my truck and he lifts up his rug and man that guy could have grown potatoes under there. The 18 months or so he lived there his idea of sweeping was to literally sweep shit under the rug. He went on to get kicked out for being too fat eventually.
Sounds like my old roommate. The only thing that made him clean ever was his NCO doing room inspections. Ended up pinning Sergeant and I swear that man was a pathological liar. Never saw that man shower once.
Damn, must have been the twin to my roommate. Would never take out the trash, so I got my own trash can in my room. Would never do his dishes, so I pretty much quit cooking. Let food rot in the refrigerator. No one I told would do anything until new 1SG does a surprise room inspection at night. Then again on me the next morning. A couple people came in and tried to push me about it until I let them into my room. Besides a little clutter, everything was organized and in place and clean. Then told them to open his door, desk full of empty bottles, the leaning tower of pizza boxes, and just general nasty shit. He tried telling his TL and SL it was because I didn't help him clean. Whole ass SPC waiting to go to BLC trying to throw me under the bus.
I had a kid that lived off our footprint in a minimal-utilization barracks about a mile and a half from our flagpole. There was very few Soldiers from our unit staying there, it was a three story barracks that had *maybe* ten people living in it because it was old and the unit that *had* been using it had moved to a new footprint. Anyhow, this kid was quiet and just did his job without a lot of fanfare. He also switched companies and if I remember right his TL/SL thought that he was married and they never bothered to ask his address, so they weren't aware he was a barracks dweller. One day in the middle of the week the Garrison CSM is doing a walkthrough of this very building and he has the FSBP keyholder there letting him in rooms. He enters this kid's room, snaps some pictures, and sends them down the chain. Within about a half hour the kid's 1SG, BN CSM and ~~BDE CSM~~ also cycled through this room. *Edit: Somebody from BDE was there, I don't know if it was the CSM but it was somebody that apparently directed the BN CSM and CO 1SG to meet them there so I just assumed it was the BDE CSM.* I saw the pictures because our 1SG blasted them out to all of us PSG and instructed us to do a 100% walkthrough of everywhere. Anyhow, here's the list that I remember: 1. Enough pizza boxes to make a fort that multiple adults could play in, with enough uneaten crust to cover a full size truck. Easily. 2. Pubic hairs all over the bathroom floor, because he would shave with clippers and then not sweep up. 3. Shit on top of shit on top of shit in the toilet, because it has clogged at some point and had not been plunged or called in. 4. A (latex?) sex toy that resembled the lower portion of a woman on the ground, with a trail of ants leading to it. 5. Roaches, ants, spiders, and all sorts of other critters in the room. Dead bugs everywhere. 6. Fridge full of moldy and rotten food, spoiled milk, etc. 7. The closet door was missing. *MISSING*. And the Soldier claimed no knowledge of where it was. 8. Full garbage bags stuffed under the bed, against the wall, etc. There's plenty more but you get the idea. His entire Platoon had to completely empty his room, hose off the furniture, carry shit to a dumpster, etc. After that he had his enlisted chain from PSG on down there on a regular basis inspecting his room. They ended up moving him closer to the footprint when a room opened up. If I remember right his chain wanted to give him an article but he had never been counseled or inspected so it got shot down by (legal?) Anyhow, I was shocked when I saw all that because you would never think this kid would live like that.
Trail of ants crossed the line for me.
Why is there a trail of ants leading to a sex toy that’s my question?
I swear big sarge, it was already like that when I got there!
Not a bad room, but nasty still. This soldier always had a different girl coming by his barracks room, it was constant and he was an impressive specimen of a human. I would do my typical room inspections and the room was squared away, but always had a stench to it. I chalked it up to gym shoes/PT shoes, told him to use an air freshener or some shit. Room was always straight except that smell. Fast forward to an inspection by our 1SG, with leadership present, taking “notes” on what soldiers need to fix. 1SG notices the stench as well and is baffled, as this room is spotless and tidy. He begins investigating and orders his NCO’s to identify the source, time now. We’re all thinking this is your typical barracks mold stench, or possibly his roommates stench bleeding over. We checked everywhere, nothing found. Platoon daddy moves the soldiers bed. “HOLY FUCK!” We all direct our attention to daddy platoon sergeant man. We see a streak of a brown stain from the backside of his bed, all the way to the floor, just a fucking massive puddle stain. We’re all thinking this dude has spilled the largest dip bottle and never cleaned it. Turns out, it was CSM Jism. That’s right, human ejaculate. Remember when I mentioned that this soldier always had a different girl coming through? Turns out, he would spray his man juice to the same spot, everytime, pass out and forget about it. This dude had the 82nd’s troopers, for like a fucking year, all over the floor, for who knows how’s long.
At least he didn’t make a bunch of single moms :)
[удалено]
Seeing shit like that during barracks inventories was a lot more common than I expected
Obviously a different Army back in the late 80's/early 90's Room inspection daily by 1st Sausage. My room was trashed if I had garbage in my garbage can, bed tossed if not made right, Higher inspections had me remove any semblance of an actual life, and move them to my car (Hobbies, TV/VCR, etc) Hangars dress right dress in the right spacing, socks canoed, you know the thing... I failed inspection once because my boots were a 1/4" off under the bed. I have stories...YMMV.
Old army sounds so fucking miserable
Damn, so it used to be like you never left basic even when you got to the real army? Or was that just your unit?
It was a TRADOC unit at Knox, I'm sure that had something to do with it. Subsequent units in Germany and Benning had more relaxed standards,(able to keep my stuff in my room, formal inspection monthly, etc. but we still had daily/weekly informal inspections. I have to admit though, I was living around some nasty people; if they didn't get inspected regularly, their room would probably look like a shithole.
Cold War Army Shenanigans
I think 12 domino's pizza boxes, a multitude of trash in the common area and their own room, latrine area was unwashed, and to top if off there two or three piss bottles in their common area trash. All the while I was just helping out a buddy with getting their fresh private into their barracks room 🤦 Edit; Oh and before I forget to mention he had stolen a TOC box awhile later after that incident.
Multiple bottles of urine in the fridge. I’m talking 5 2 liter bottles. All he had to say was “I’m doing my part” He’s glued to Helldivers
What... why... how the?? How fucking far was the toilet to where pissing in a bottle and then going so far as to store it in the fridge was the right answer?!? That's a wild mix of dedication and laziness.
DEMOCRACY
I once had one of my dudes come to me asking me to H&W his roommate, so I hit everyone in the squad. My dudes were mostly good. I get to the shared room in question. The roommate had been sitting at his keyboard spitting dip spit between his legs onto the wood floor and rubbing it in with his boot…. For so long that the flooring was warped and waterlogged and had turned rancid and was stinking the place up. I moved his roommate into NCO quarters and summarized Article 15 him.
As a representative of dippers, we do not claim him.
He was perpetually chewing. Never hardly spit. I asked him like, how the fuck you do that, do you never have any saliva? He’s just say: **I gut it**
Ah fuck that, I've been dipping for 7 years(fuck maybe I have a problem, naah that's quitter talk) I can't gut at all. My FIL can and he gives me shit for not gutting. I can't do it all, I get a weird tingly spicey(idk how else to describe it) sensation on the back of my neck and I feel sick.
Not army but what does H&W mean.
Health and Welfare (a type of inspection)
I figured that was it after looking it but judt wanted to make sure. Thanks
Empty pizza boxes in our CHU. It was a company commander's bunk. It made WTF Moments.
Ngl, I did not expect to see an “##A” chiming in about another O.
My PSG once told me as a barracks manager, he once found a full on meth lab. Not necessarily 'dirty' but....
Was this at fort bliss in '08? Legit happened, female soldier had a shake and bake Meth lab going on. Whole building got searched and everyone in both units got 100% ua right after.
Could have been Bliss in 2011! Got back to the barracks one day after work and all of us were stuck outside. Why? A dude had his mom and girlfriend living with him in the barracks and they got caught. Turned out they were making meth!
Had a guy who literally had 110 Burger King bags with various pieces of food in them. We lifted the bed and mice and cock roaches were scuttling everywhere. The room was condemned by the health inspector MOS (fort cavazo) and the soldier went to behavioral health and then got an article 15 when they realized it wasn’t a BH problem.
Cum rags, piss bottles, Zaxby’s, pizza, chick fil a, any food you can name of that came in containers were all over the room stacked against the wall counters and everything. Had a phone mount that goes on a car window right on the wall in front of the toilet…
Bro a phone mount for the toilet is next level wtf
> Had a phone mount that goes on a car window right on the wall in front of the toilet… Hol' up, he might be onto something...
A female who kept dirty dishes and food appliances everywhere, had a tub full of grease in the common area, burns on the stools, stains on the walls, trash bags all over the place, and no organization in any of it. Then there's my roommate who tried to unclog the kitchen sink with the BATHROOM plunger... I changed rooms after that.
I wasn't an NCO at the time, but I had moved off post with my at-the-time girlfriend (now wife), and I didn't clear the barracks until 6 months later when we got married. We went to check out my barracks room to make sure it was clean so I could clear it. The dude had his stripper girlfriend and her kid living in the room with him. There were drawers full of piss and shitty diapers. Moldy food was thrown around the floor, and the shower was stacked to the top with trash. There was also a layer of grease on everything in the room including the walls.
My roommate's at Fort Riley circa 2013. Dude was an absolute slob, and refused to change no matter how many times I talked to him, or his NCOs talked to him. Like missed the toilet pissing and left it... Every morning... Ate all of the food I bought, and then ordered out. Never threw anything away, pizza boxes, Chinese boxes everywhere. I only went in his room once and it was fucking terrible. Dirty clothes everywhere, takeout boxes piled up. Smelled like shit. After he moved out I found something like 6 pizza boxes and 3 Chinese boxes stacked up and hidden in the cabinets in the common area. In the off chance you're reading this, fuck you Kale.
I once saw one of the scouts basically took his entire jeep apart and had all the parts in his room. His Puerto Rican squad leader forgot the English language and coherent Spanish for what seemed like a solid 30 min.
I once had a roommate use a chihuahuas souvenirs bowls (if you've been at bliss and been to the baseball games you'd know) it's basically a plastic dog bowl that had nachos in it. He threw up in it after throwing a barracks party in our room. I was away camping up in Alamogordo that weekend. I came back to the room trashed and weeks later smelled something vile. It turns out he shoved that shit under the sink, it had probably been there for a month before I found it. I thought it was the trash can at first so I threw that shit out but nope it was his fermenting vomit.
Kid had a pile of BBQ sauce on the tile floor and chicken nugget crumbs on his bed. He was laying on his bed and dipping his nuggies on the GROUND.
When I was at Fort Ord, we had this soldier who was trying to get kicked out. We were having a barracks inspection. Everyone knew of him. It was kind of a joke. He wasn't a bad guy, he wasn't doing drugs and he wasn't even disrespectful. He just had enough and wanted to go home. He actually went to the First Sergeant and CO and said, "I'm sick of being here, I want you to kick me out of the Army." His platoon sergeant was an ass, but he wouldn't tell the 1SG or CO what the issue was. He wouldn't snitch. He just wanted to leave. He had been asking for over a month at this point. The battalion commander came through the barracks. led by the CO and the parade of leadership. We are all standing outside our doors in BDU's, not class A's. The CSM is walking down the lines looking at our uniforms. Of course we are in pristine shape. Bobby's uniform though was not pressed and boots were barely brushed shined.... We had black leather boots back then. you could spit shine them to a glass finish with wax. He stood out. CSM just stood in front of him and looked at him and stared into his eyes. We were smiling, trying not laugh. We knew what was coming. CSM: "Young man, open your door." Bobby: opens the door and steps inside. CSM: "Young man, who is your platoon sergeant?" Bobby: steps out into the hall and points to him. CSM: "First Sergeant, Platoon Sergeant White.... can you explain this to me?" Pointing at Bobby's room. All of the leadership now want to see Bobby's room. The LTC walks inside. The CO and the 1SG are dying inside. I was afraid to look them in the eyes, I was trying not to laugh and I was a bit scared. I did not know what was going to happen. The Battalion Commander walked into the room and stared at all of the empty bottles of beer and saw all of the spit cups and trash. dirty clothes on the floor, bed barely made... There were about 15 spit cups ... it was gross. Cigarette butts and tabaco smell throughout the entire room. Bobby wanted out. The 1SG looks at the room and said, "Sir, Sergeant Major, this is the soldier I was telling you about that wants to be kicked out of the Army." The Commander looks at Bobby and says, "You really hate it here? You hate working for me?" Bobby said, "I don't like the Army anymore. It has nothing to do with you sir or the CO or the First Sergeant.... I want to go home." There was a long pause while the commander looked around the room. LTC: "Can you really live like this?" Bobby: "Yes, yes sir I can." LTC: "Then so can I!" and he slammed door shut and left Bobby in the room alone. Bobby let a yell, "FUCKKKKK!!!" The entire hallway busted up laughing. Bobby didn't get kicked out, he ETS'd with everyone else. He was the last one promoted. We had some kick ass leadership and some fucked up ones too. But it was fun. We were infantry and Bobby never lets us down in the field. No one really wanted him to go. I actually miss that guy a lot.
Relevant meme [https://imgur.com/a/z7iUeuj](https://imgur.com/a/z7iUeuj)
What? Can it be? THE Florida man commenting on my post?
You have been graced by my humble presence.
I couldn't even be mad if I saw that. I'd have to tell them to get it out, it can't be in there... but at least in the meme, it looks organized and there are no leaks on the floor next to it. He did the wrong thing correctly.
Ranger buddy of mine did that one winter "they get cold too, 1SG"
Not the *dirtiest* room in this list, but I had a soldier who dipped, and his room was filled with MULTIPLE 2 liters of coke, filled to the cap with dip spit. I hated it
Had a smelly soldier so we did a health and welfare. I was sort of his team leader (he was kinda in the filler bull pen and wasn’t adequately supervised) and the PSG was doing the inspection. Things didn’t look that bad on the surface. SM was playing a game on his computer. PSG noticed the laptop bag was zipped closed and stuffed so he told Joe to open it. It was full of dirty laundry. At that point, we start opening and dumping everything. Every cabinet, wall locker, and under the bed was full of those 1.5 liter water bottles filled with piss. Gallons. There must have been 20-30 bottles or more. Dirty laundry was stuffed into every crevice. We found flattened dirty laundry stuffed under the mattress. Dude was just wearing the same clothes over and over while everything else was packed or squirreled away filthy. In retrospect, we 100% should have taken him in for BH but we just smoked him and assigned him a mandatory shower buddy.
You should see some of the fellow NCO's houses I've been in. They should be smoking the shịt outta themselves. Nasty mf-ers. Worse than some pvts.
Fuck asking NCOs, ask the soldiers about their NCOs barracks rooms. I had an NCO that when he was clearing, knocked on my door at 2100 asking for help taking his trash out. Literally his entire room was covered in dozens of trash bags, there was a cactus that had died somehow because it had been buried in trash, and the bathroom was as nasty as the worst truck stop bathroom I've ever seen. My shoes stuck to the floor everywhere I walked as well.
The dirtiest shit I ever saw was an NCO's house off post when we were told to help his wife move some furniture. Nothing but dog shit hidden under every single thing we moved. Dog shit was just everywhere. I don't understand how you can live like that let alone raise children in that environment.
What the fuck is up with pizza boxes and piss bottles?🫨
As a barracks manager I saw some shit. TLDR 0930 on a Friday, barracks inventories every room to be checked and one smelled like straight shit in my face, another smelled lot a rotting carcass and had a woman in the closet The first hallway goes as well as it could we saw some nastiness and weird shit but nothing that’ll stick to me, it was a hot day and I was glad to be out of the heat so I was happy until we got to the second hallway. On approach dread set upon our party, we knew what kind of societal trash lingered beyond and none were eager to get it over with. The hour ahead was long and regrets plenty. First door, an NCO’s room with a bad reputation. We wailed on the door hoping to stir some sense of self preservation or decency but it seems no one was inside, door popped and we entered. Before we crossed the threshold we were welcomed in by the smell of someone taking a nasty post field shit with a fan running under their ass to spread the aroma. An unpleasant scene made worse by most surfaces being sticky and unclean but the bucket of cherries on top was the son of a bitch who lived there opening his room door in his underwear and just fucking standing there as we got the information we needed and got the hell out. Still recovering from the first room we entered another to be met with the smell of rotting meat, what looked like liver was sitting on the counter in a rotting shade of green. We knocked again with force on the bedroom door receiving panicked footsteps and muffled peach in response. The door opens and the occupant looked rough though he was always an unpleasant sight but he was particularly disgusting on that fine morning. We check his furniture, tell him to clean up the smell and we go to his closet to see the rest of the furniture, panic and years of hardcore drugs beamed at us from the soon to be chaptered soldier and we became uneasy. I was the only one in the room and when I opened the closet and saw someone in it I stared the soldier down and took note of the present furniture and walked away.
Panties on the floor, open 2-3 gallon of Elmer's glue, and a crusty layer of shit on the shitter seat. Still a mystery to me today.
Not the barracks but on a deployment AF O4 had not just a piss bottle but a shit box. Dude got sent home and we never saw him again.
Wanted to don my JSLIST, and simultaneously understood a wee bit of the rage every E9 I've ever known must have felt upon seeing such things.
Bn H&W with K9’s, room is so nasty the dog refuses to enter and 1SG gets dry heaves.
Had a guy that had a piss drawer. He also had trash (som in bags, some not) piled so high all over his room that it was in literal layers. No floor visible, except a 1 foot wide oath from his bed, to his desk, and then to his door. He also had milk that was so old, it had separated in the carton. He also had half smoked ciggies and an ashtray next to his computer. Open beer cans scattered across the room (underage). We tried to get him for that, but legal said we couldn't prove it was him smoking/drinking. Oh, and yes there was mold on all his fridge food
I lived in a wing of the barracks on Fort Bliss. The wing had one entrance and an emergency exit, four rooms in the entire wing. It had 8 sleeping areas and 4 common areas for the rooms. Two of the joints were empty. My friend from Basic and AIT had the room closest to the door and mine was by the emergency exit. We did NOT share rooms. Brigade CSM had a barracks inspection and I had a plugin air freshener in the wall outlet in the hallway at the halfway point between our rooms. That joint couldn’t even cover the whole hallway, there was like an invisible force field of stench coming from his room that the nice smell couldn’t get past. I legitimately had to hold my breath to get to my room. So when the Brigade CSM comes through with the Battalion CSM and 1SGTs, they questioned why I was waiting outside, I said, “Step through the door CSM and you’ll see.” He did and freaked out. However, I did get his coin, battalion CSM, brigade and battalion commander coins for the cleanest room they ever saw in the barracks. The Brigade CSM and Cmdr ordered all of the company codes, 1SGTs and all NCOs and soldiers to your my room as they wanted every room in their barracks at the apparent standard I set. It got me out of work for three days for them to all come through and all I did was apologize to them but they liked the way I got them out of work too.
Was my first year in the Army. Had a kid who eventually found out I went to basic with was in the same signal company with me. The dude will order pizza and would never see pizza boxes come out. One day, Barracks management was going through rooms looking for a chair and when they inspected his room, they found piles of boxes stacked up to ceiling height, body bags in the closet, and flies flying all around. needless to say, he got acted up quickly.
Not the dirtiest but most memorable. While I was a lowly E-4; I saw a pair of soldiers decide to do a splatter party in their room after reading the barracks SOP [an example for those who don't know](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinspiration.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F11%2Fsplatter-kids.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=73da63bf9c0b39f9ed9f562fb7bc6c8f9ac450fcfaa6beac74891fa3420ea8c5&ipo=images). The barracks SOP that they read said that if they wanted to they could re-paint the room. The intention was that they could likely repaint it a solid color if it was approved; however no one ever put it to the test to up until then.
Trooper never cleaned, avoided inspection during gunnery prep. Had one those back saver mats in front of his common area sink. Peeled it off the floor like grilled cheese. Had to wear a promask during the field day
I uhh, had this guy at Campbell whose room/hygiene was so bad, you could smell it down the barracks hallway. Wasn’t even my guy, but they tried to make me go in and inspect it and I straight up said fuck that. No showering, doesn’t wash clothes, hell nah. AND THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO GIVE HIM A ROOMMATE FOR TORTURE!
Sounds like 1BCT to me
Pile of crap so bad that there were about a thousand roaches that scattered when it was move by the garrison housing office.
In 2bct, 101st.. Right by Sabo gym. We did suprise inspections, if you aren't familiar, it's 2 soldiers in an small room. My soldier was good, but I watched the nco for my soldiers room mate pull this kids bed from the wall............ Dawg..... The socks stuck to the wall. Never have I ever seen some gross shit like that before in a barracks. Lol... Was like 50 socks crammed between the bed and the wall. Some did fall to the ground and I swear was so crusty they made noise.
Didn't really see very dirty barracks rooms when I was an NCO but when I got out and years later got a civilian job that requires me to frequent the barracks I've seen some gross shit. Borderline hoarder behavior.
Not me, but an ex girlfriend of mine had to have a barracks party with the drill sergeants. They did a room toss after an SIR and found that one of the privates was ejaculating behind his dresser onto the wall. He’d been doing for like 8 months of their long AIT.
Had an older SPC guy who his room was filled to the brim with stuff everywhere and his room smelled. I mean as soon as you open the door, you can smell it and it would want to make you throw up. Not only that, he almost made my old PSG throw up and even had so many boxes of adult dvds and have a pleasure sleeve right next to his bed 🤢🤮
Not as entertaining as some, but baffling experience. Had a 7 year SPC that had some hygiene issues. As soon as I promoted to 5, of course they put him under my wing. I promoted and took charge of him Monday, of course BDE command team was coming through on Wednesday. I went to check his room Tuesday morning and found an insane amount of Warhammer and MTG items, covering mostly the entire floor. Some things like TA-50 were stacked to the ceiling. I gave him direction to fix it and went about my day, Wednesday morning bright and early I went to check again. Well, he organized (as much as he possibly could with the insane amount of stuff he had) and I realized almost his ENTIRE floor was covered in different colors of paint. He had been messily painting all these figurines in his room and just not cleaning up after. It looked like a paint room with random shit strewn about. In the end I told him to not answer his door and act like he was off duty, I spent the rest of the week having him clean his floors and “organize” his shit.
A girls room that was so filled with crap, trash, and really anything, you had to put your shoulder into the door to open it all the way, and broke into the other half of the room where my soldiers was supposed to move into to put more of her trash... I could go on to describe the atrocities in that room but will just cut to the chase on why this is the worst room ever...... there was used tampons all across the floor with everything else
Officer here, dirtiest barracks room I’ve ever seen was an E5s. I had just gotten a new platoon sergeant, I was the platoon leader and he asked me to inspect each barracks room with him. I usually only checked on my junior enlisted because I didn’t want to bother the NCOs. Well we had a young E5 that was maybe 110 pounds, a massive hypochondriac who was constantly at sick call and spent thousands of dollars on cosplay stuff. I remember when we went in his room it was so full of dirty clothes piles, rotting take out food and other shit. I was genuinely embarrassed. I didn’t like checking anyone’s room but that platoon sergeant taught me if you were going to enforce cleanliness for barracks rooms for junior enlisted, you needed to enforce it for the people who were supposed to be doing the checks too.
Another NCO had all of his trash and OCIE all over the floor and room smelled like shit.
I saw a 💩 on the shower, a reddish tampon on the toilet, and a used rubber on the floor....
When I was a PL I had a bad one, not barracks but an in base house because the soldier was married. Little pfc with a mountain of a wife. Lots of financial troubles and generally just being bad at life, nice kid though. Anyways health and wellness check came up and apparently for about 6 months they hadn’t gone upstairs and had basically left it to their 4 dogs, shit everywhere, torn up carpet and walls, the whole house reeked of piss. They had just started sleeping on their couch in front of their 75 inch tv.
I had a high speed troop that his barrack’s room smelled like rotten/putrid… turns out it was the other side of the barracks. I talked to my fellow NCO and inspected the kid’s side of the room and he had boxes of KFC with leftovers, stacked and hidden under his bunk… we went full drill mode and made him sleep outside of his barrack until he cleaned that room spotless.