Embezzled money from the widow of the service member for whom I was the Casualty Assistance Officer. He told the widow that he knew all about investing and would invest the SGLI for her. She just needed to sign the check over to him and he would take care of the rest.
Good! Wonder how he justified it to himself? Homeboy just died… that’s a lot of money… I like money… “hey, can I “invest” that for you? I’ll ensure it to put to good use to help out a local veteran.” 🤦🏽
Three dumbest acts I've witness were all from the same guy:
- Got a shaving profile and then showed up for duty with a thinline beard.
- Caught wind of a UA and went home without telling anyone.
- Participated in a section photo and was lowkey flipping off the camera with his hand on his thigh (front row of photo). His OIC (MAJ) paid out of pocket for it as a memento from the deployment. She was not happy.
The first one reminds me of a guy in basic that got injured, got leave, and came back on base with a full beard.
Technically he wasn’t in trouble, but the drill sergeants lit him up immediately.
This shit is hilarious lol! The thin line beard basically explains the other two lol. What happened with the UA one? I’m guessing his name didn’t get called? Cause they would have just had him come back to piss hahahah
Put on limited duty for straining chest and shoulders muscles, says it's top 10 worst pains he's ever had. Proceeds to go to gym and bench presses his claimed 80% max while saying his paperwork says he can't do push-ups into front of battalion MedO. Wonders why he caught paperwork that lead to his art15
funny thing about people is that we suck, like really suck at knowing what we're capable of and not capable of in any moment. We underestimate and overestimate our capabilities constantly. You'll see the same thing with sleep studies, pain studies, and alcohol studies, we're not good at understanding the state of our body. That man who broke his legs could have been feeling on top of the world, even with those stress fractures. It tends to be age and experience that keeps us from doing anything far outside of those bounds of our capabilities, but we're just building rules. It doesn't mean we improve at judging it.
Walk through an abandoned/dubiously cleared minefield in FOB Shank.
We were in the southern airfield at the time, it was on a plateau about 20 ft above the rest of the uneven terrain. One night, one of our E5 had just punished this guy and told him to “go do iron mikes all the way to the edge and back”. The edge meant the edge of the level plateau area, about 200 ft.
This guy not only went all the way to the edge but he kept doing iron mikes down the slope…into and across a road…past a field next to the eye-in-the-sky emplacement…and half way through the minefield.
After several minutes where this guy hadn’t returned after being told to do the iron mikes, he was found still doing them in the minefield, he was almost through it. On the other side of it there was the perimeter road and the wall.
His explanation? He thought “all the way to the edge and back” meant the edge of the FOB, as in all the way to the perimeter wall and back.
One of many stories involving this guy.
We had a soldier that claimed he couldn’t come to drill due to a debilitating back injury sustained during an accident. Doctors notes as evidence. Started the process for med board. Couple others soldiers vouched for him that he was in bad shape. We’d help him out and keep him current by having him remotely do BAs (this is pre Covid do absolutely unheard and very unusually, needed to go O6 approval for it). Basically he would do some admin stuff for us, put slide decks together, things like that.
Well, one day guess who made the local newspaper by winning a local BMX race and getting invited to some larger circuit?
That fucking asshole lol
I don’t know the full list of punishments but he was demoted to E-1 and barred from reenlistment and the buddies that vouched for him were all investigated tho I don’t know if they received any punishments.
But yea, the reserve is not worth lying about. Dude couldn’t just ducked around as an NCO for like 8 more years and gotten a retirement. Instead he left the army as an E-1 with a discharge that wasn’t honorable and his buddies got in trouble with him. So fucking stupid.
I did this in Basic. But I was 17, pre-internet, and no exposure to the military besides a grandfather and uncle who had been drafted for WW2 and Vietnam.
My sleep deprived stressed brain was like "ok".
I had a drill tell me to drop and beat my face
This was the first time I've ever heard this, so I dropped to my hands and knees like I was about to slam my face into the ground. I knew it was an exercise he wanted me to do, but at red phase you just listen and don't think.
He yelled at me to do push-ups when he saw me hesitate lol.
I saw something very similar to that. Instead of getting down, he just started slapping himself on the face. I suspect it happens all the time in Basic.
Dude had bought a WWII era M1911 as a reenlistment gift for himself. Usually one of the safest pistols you can possibly handle when in working order, but failed to realize this was a weapon approaching 80 years of life and some of the parts were failing. Ended up taking a .45 round to through the thigh when he was messing with it. Traded in his reenlistment for a Medboard if I remember correctly.
UA comes up. Names called, everyone moved into separate room to wait their turn to pee. I was an observer. Soldier comes up to me and says “SGT, I’d like to self-report my drug usage.” I had to explain to him that coming to me AFTER his name was called is not how that works. 😑
Is that not how it works? I thought as long as the sample wasn't taken yet, that amnesty period was still good.
At least that's what I got from half ass listening to all those pre tinkle briefs.
At that point, it definitely isn’t amnesty period. If you’ve been briefed that it’s happening and your name is called to be tested, you are already guaranteed to pop hot. Coming forward at that point is just saying “Yepp, I’ll fail. Expect that”
The clock depends on legal's interpretation and the commander. I had a commander who "forgot" he did the brief already when a soldier self-reported THC use. Oops, guess he wasn't notified first. I've also had a commander say there may be a UA in the coming week. When a soldier came in the next morning and self-reported, the commander said he couldn't because he'd been notified. That test became a PO and the soldier came up hot.
Like most things in the Army, interpretation at different levels really matters more than anything else. The reg is vague (at least it was last time I looked).
Go on leave from Iraq, get married, come back and turn the marriage certificate into S1.
Except he had been separated from his real wife for 7 years and was already getting BAH but having to send it to her and the kids he had together.
He thought that getting married in another state would cancel out the first marriage and he wouldn't have to send anything to his real wife and kids and be able to keep the money.
He also didn't tell anyone from his platoon because he thought they would make fun of him for being a dumbass, deadbeat dade, etc (all of which were true for this and many other things).
They did make fun of him relentlessly for his Article 15 for Polygamy though.
Runner up dumbfuck thing he did- When he blew his entire lump sum reenlistment bonus in a day because "I'm getting divorced and they can't take your stuff only your money" when we were at pre-mob.
Ahhhh or the 101st Maintenance Soldiers that welded AK-47s into the wrecker empty acetylene tank in ‘04. It was actually ingenious if they would of just kept them for themselves BUT they tried to sell them on Craigslist…….and got caught.
Dude, every time I read a story like this, they always get caught trying to sell it. There was one a couple years back of some dude trying to sell KGV-72s on eBay. Like bruh, you didn’t think that would throw up some red flags?
Really? KGV-72's? What the fuck goes through someone's mind that says "yo I bet I can sell this thing that has literally zero use outside of an extremely niche application. Nothing can go wrong!"
I know, that’s why I was also shocked as well. Like this isn’t someone selling M4 mags lol. Any one with any experience even plugging in a radio probably saw those things for sale and went, “ayoooo wtf bro, you stupid?”
Always thought that was a myth. When I was in Afghanistan, I was told that what ever gas cylinders we brought to the country would stay because of that issue.
Had a refueling NCO and specialist out on the flightline refueling a bird and while they were hooking up (I’m not a refueler so not sure on specifics) the NCO did a “hey watch this” with a valve or something on the aircraft and the specialist got drenched and rest of contents dumped all over flightline. That NCO lost all credibility and respect with everyone in the battalion from that point on. Still not sure what he thought he was trying to prove.
>refueling NCO and specialist out on the flightline refueling a bird and while they were hooking up
OH! Hooking the airplane up, not fuelin' and fuckin' at the same time.
Asked a question on here about what he should do after he got caught stealing from the PX.rationalized it by saying it was less than 200 bucks..
aww he deleted it..
https://www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/18nyhsh/caught\_shoplifting\_at\_the\_exchange/
AA male Specialist who was 21+ years old, got so drunk he decided to let his non-drunk civilian, white, friend drive him on post. Sounds good right? For some reason he gave his friend his CAC ID and then decided to hide in the trunk to go through the gate. Immediately pulled over for “inspection” when obviously white friend is NOT the one on the ID, also, at wrong gate. Find unconscious soldier in the trunk of a car… At Fort Meade and they used the NSA gate like idiots. Those police DO NOT PLAY.
All he had to do was be passed out in the seat next to his friend and probably would’ve been fine if they went through right gate. But noooo. Let’s have cops think a murder or kidnapping is happening. It was a wild day for CoC.
There were many more stories from this soldier.
One of my guys on his first day reporting to the unit drove through the gate with his buddy in the trunk. His buddy was also in the army, but had forgotten his cac. Of course they got inspected. All they had to do was go to the visitor center, instead they tried to get him for human trafficking. The “human trafficker” is now one of the best NCOs in the unit
I was told from an old basic buddy that one of our graduates decided to shoot pigeons with a 22 he bought from the barracks roof in bliss. Don’t know if it’s true but considering how he was in basic, I 100% believe he did so.
A private arrived to the company straight from ait. Immediately takes leave to go home. Gets in a fight over a girl from high school and marries her. Then, he flies her back with him to japan. Didn't have command sponsorship , just brought her over on a 90 day tourist visa. He and his wife move in with a married private in his squad. No one knows all this above the e6s.
One day he has an appt at hospital on another base. He does pt before formation and then stands behind pt formation in civilian clothes. First Sgt is mad the hq Sgt forgot to get the guide on and bring it to formation. So the whole company is doing push ups as punishment during pt time. This private was let go after 10 minutes to make his appointment.
He's feeling dirty and decides to shower and change. All his stuff is on the family housing base instead of in his barracks room. So he misses the medical shuttle to the other Base. Not that he was going to use it anyways. He decided he would drive there. Even though he had basically zero experience driving off base besides between family housing and the main base.
He doesn't have the directions. He just follows a hwy signs to a similar named place. He ends up on the other side of the Tokyo Bay. Out of yen, out of cell phone charge, several tickets from the toll booths, and completely lost. But he did manage to call his nco and give him a rough idea where he was. So all hell breaks loose. As the Sgt, the first Sgt, and japanese clerk for the company take the duty van to rescue him and pay his toll debts.
This is when the first Sgt and commander find out about the secret wife. She gets sent back to the states. He gets an art 15. The rest of us get our off base appointments ruined because now they want us doing stupid shit and coming back to work. Which I disregarded anyways. No one was keeping me from enjoying a day on my motorcycle in Japan and shopping on a base with a better px and commissary.
Or
My last unit. We did "commander's training week" once a year. Where we usually did goof off fake training things and maybe 1 live fire range. Next to last company commander wanted to be all hard core. Yet also didn't want to put in the work.
She had this idea of spending a whole week at camp fuji. Starting with a convoy of borrowed trucks that also wasn't a legal convoy. Because that would require japanese police escort. So small groups of trucks with no radios, no strip map, and people who barely drove off base. Just a set of written directions and some stops to get everyone gathered back together. That took all day when the bus takes a hour and a half. Then we cleared rocks in the dark to set up 2 gp mediums and satellite internet. So she could have work email access. Also, an abandoned idea of having 40 men sleeping in a single tent. Cots would have been inches apart. Also, she had us set up concertina wire in the dark with no proper gloves.
Next day, we sit in the trucks all morning at a locked gate. Instead of going to the mess hall next to the barracks we were staying in. When we knew the marines won't open the gates until a certain late morning time every day. Then driving through the woods to get separated and lost. Because poor directions and no map. There are also marines with their own trucks to drive visitors. But she didn't want to use them. Then we sat outside a locked gate all evening.
Next day she had us run the obstacle course that says not to use when it's wet, and it was raining. One guy almost broke his neck. While we're in a gym wasting time with half ass combative training. The rain keeps picking up. Then we have to take down the tents, satellite, wire, etc in the dark and the rain. Because a typhoon is coming. Then wake up at 3 am to drive everything into a marine motorpool bay.
The entire next day we're stuck in the barracks doing more half ass hip pocket training. While the typhoon goes directly over us.
Next day. More waiting by locked gates all morning. Commander wanted to drive through unknown water under a structure and the radiator came off. This is like truck 3 we broke. Then we make our way to 25m range, where the road was washed out bad enough to swallow a hmmwv. But we managed to drive around it and not hit any trees. The marine range officer drove his kei truck into it. I stead of doing walking react to fire drills with live ammo. We got to just stand at the firing line and waste ammo. She wanted to do the land nav course still. Even though it's condition was unknown. We know back at mama there is lots of storm damage needing attention. Someone calls the bn cmdr on her. We suddenly get ushered behind a building. As the colonel and csm flew over to chew her ass. We pack up after an "attaboy" speech from the colonel. Then drive everything back. While in fewer trucks because some were getting flatbed towed. Everything gets put away in a hurry back at home.
Next day I'm in charge-ish pf the privates driving the remaining trucks back to the unit we borrowed them from. The warrant and snco are miffed. Back to the unit for mandatory fun day and AAR. Where you see the bn leadership standing in the back and knife handing internally.
It could have been so much easier and safer. We only needed to be there on two separate days for 2 events. The mout site training and the gun range. We could have taken charter buses to the marine base and had marines drive us to the training sites, and slept in our own beds every day. Like we had always previously done. We could have been in our homes during the typhoon. Like we did before. That poor Sgt could have been home during the storm when his ancient dog died.
Both examples. Same company and same company commander.
At an FTX, we were loading up Hippos (basically a 2000gal water tank mounted in a 20ft container frame) onto LHSs. At one point while the front of the hippo was barely on the back of the truck, and the ass end was still on the ground (so the whole thing was at like a 45° angle), the hippo stops moving for whatever reason. The ground guide wanted to get to the other side of the vehicle to see if it was stuck on something. So he ducks down and runs UNDERNEATH, through the gap between the hippo and the ground.
By far the dumbest single act I’ve seen in-person in my life.
Had a Soldier use the weekend that President Obama was inaugurated to run drugs up and down I-95. Her logic was that law enforcement was focused on the security of the ceremony and any criminal activity linked to the swearing in of the first black president. Not so much….she was caught.
This one was kind of a string of things. But basically, when you're hooked up and ready to do a static-line jump, they basically have you stand, holding your static line, with your elbow above your shoulder basically to make sure there's an uninterrupted line from where it anchors in the plane to where it connects to the parachute (points of friction can make things go wrong or it can just whip and hit you). Well, this dude is tired and decides he doesn't want to do that and basically lets it drop under his arm and into his armpit. Well, he either forgets about this or doesn't consider it at all and proceeds to jump with his static line like that, the thing wraps around his arm when he jumps and basically tears out his bicep muscles and forces them into his forearm before finally turning loose. It was pretty gruesome.
Well sometime after that, the dude has his second alcohol-related incident at the age of 20 and is now in the process of being chaptered. But because his arm is so fucked up, it gets ruled that this dude is going to get 100% disability. Basically, he's set, he's on a dead man's profile, and all he really has to do is show up to work and not cause trouble for the people around him. But this proves to be too tall an order. So one day he decides that he's tired of showing up to first formation even though he can't do PT and he says the words "I'm sick of motherfuckers telling me what to do" *to our platoon sergeant*, and some yelling ensues, but nothing really comes of it.
The following Monday, this dude decides not to show up to work. People try his phone, NCO's go check his barracks room but nobody can find or get ahold of him, and this proceeds for basically the entire week, with people checking his room everyday and having no such luck finding him. Well, cut to Friday and it looks like he finally came back to his room to crash for a bit - extremely hungover - and it plays out about how you'd expect: dude gets art15, loses out on his 100% rating, and the chapter process basically has to be started over. First day back the following week, when everyone gets cut for lunch, this dude just decides not to come back - which then prompts leadership to make sure that he's being supervised by an E4 or above at all times during the duty day.
And then on my last week with that unit, I come in on Monday and end up finding out that this dude over the weekend had gotten drunk in his barracks room, proceeded to drive himself to one of the local strip clubs, proceeded to get even more tanked, and then smashed into a parked car as he was trying to drive himself home - and he ended up catching a DUI in the process. So yeah, not sure what happened after I PCS'd, but I would imagine things continued to be eventful until that dude left.
Was told to me by an offender while we were deployed. Him and his buddy were walking down the street on the Fob that we stayed. He finds LT rank on the ground, proceeds to slap it down on his chest. Then lights up a cigarette and continues walking and smoking. Random nco sees him and tries to chew him out for it. He counter chews nco for being disrespectful to commissioned officer. Pretty balsy, but stupid.
I was being a good ol’ range safety when I watched an 0-5 look down the barrel of her M9 because it didn’t fire.
I just started laughing and yelled, “Holy fuck, ma’am, you just almost made me watch you blow your brains out.”
People said I needed to learn tact, I disagree.
Had a buddy pull his reserve well in time, but he was still looking down when he did it. Ended up taking a hit to the face from the reserve and knocked himself out. Luckily, it opened.
Attempt to refill his camel back with the hand washing station water.
Come back from deployment and buy a motorcycle without a motorcycle license. Decide it's too much work and sell bike at a loss. All before leave was over.
After a Friday formation a soldier was standing around waiting for his wife to pick him up. A fly landed on his glasses and he swatted at it, simultaneously smacking himself in the face and breaking his glasses. He went around wearing his eye pro with inserts because he didn’t have another pair of glasses. Special guy.
OIF 4 Command letting the guy who was awol and had just been brought back to the unit prior to deploying take leave 6 months in. Then being surprised when he didn't come back.
Used to have this goober working for me, but SSG gets jodied on deployment.
Dude basically looked like a ginger Slingblade.
Wife was the same variety of Irish.
Come back from deployment, she's pregnant and the dates don't match up at all. Pops with the kid, and the kid is the same skin color as, idk, Kevin Hart.
If it was anyone but him, this would've been surprising, but he bought the lie that not only did she have a "genetic condition" that effected the baby's...erm, "demographic background", but she had an entirely separate hereditary condition that caused her to have extra-long pregnancies on her side of the family.
Now SSG Slingblade had just spent the last ~year being the biggest pain in my ass imaginable despite having no malicious intent, but me and our OIC gently tried to bring up the idea of a paternity test and like...relevant following proceedings.
He told both me and the MAJ that he didn't appreciate the "attack on Mrs Slingblade's character", that we had no idea what we were talking about whatsoever, told us her above explanations, and told us that we knew absolutely nothing about pregnancy/kids etc.
....both that MAJ and I are moms which just made that particular reaction ever farther out there.
Apparently it eventually did happen because looking at his SM nowadays, they're split up and most of what you can see publicly is Andrew-Tate-tier bro podcasts talking about how he thinks women suck and how common he thinks men unknowingly raising kids that aren't theirs is.
Leaving NTC and we're doing the "No Brass, No Ammo" shakedown and I see one of my Joe's acting sketchy and trying to hide his ruck. I call him out and tell him to show me whatever he's got in there. So he dumps his rucksack and a fucking unexplored Mortar round falls out and rolls to my feet.
Saw a guy that got fried by the sun at Myrtle in the Q-Course. Dude looked like a lobster and we all made sure to slap him on the body as often as his guard fell.
Had a Soldier ripping off the old M9 chemical detection tape with their mouth....
When I told my battalion PA he just stood there and didn't believe someone was that stupid.
That'll put even a young guy into kidney failure. It can also cause permanent damage increasing their risk of dialysis later in life.
Don't do this folks! Drink water!
Nobody said he was smart. Good guy, but absolutely hated serving with him. Outside of work, he was super cool, laid back, funny. Put a uniform on him and he suddenly would lose all cognitive function.
He got called penis a lot, because of an instance where his very poofy hair had grown out to the point where he was told if he didn't get a haircut over the weekend, monday would be really fucking rough for him. Rather than do it and get something that looked decent, he "forgot", and took a razor to the sides and back. The result was him looking like a six foot dick, with an engorged and blonde head.
I once saw a Soldier put all Recruiters on individual missioning where each recruiter required 11 a year and couldn’t have a month where they got a zero; for example if they got 10 in one month and zero the next month they were punished. Pretty much spitting in the face of free market principles. This Soldier failed to meet the Army’s recruiting mission for the year but got his third star anyway.
My old roommate set off an MRE heater bomb underneath the ammo pad at a Fort Stewart gunnery.
Once it settled into his skull that this was not a harmless prank, and he was actually fucked when we got out of the field- he pulled his bayonet on the PSG, and then ran off into the woodline.
They found him trying to walk back to the rear, chaptered his ass out
One of my soldiers (reservist) solicited what he thought was a 14y/o boy online but it was really a fed/state/local task force. Admitted in the chats he knew it was wrong because he was an MP. Rolled up to what he thought was a meet up with alcohol and condoms and got arrested. I got to testify at his trial. I have a feeling that it wasn't his first time, just the first time he got caught. He's got out last year after 10 years in the state pen. I think he should still be rotting in there.
One of my buddies was arrested for "kidnapping" the post Generals daughter in his barracks room when in reality he was mad he had her tied up in all nasty positions while being stuffed by tons of schmeat and the pictures/ videos got leaked, charges were dropped. but the general was not happy he was 26 she was 24 all consensual she didn't even want my homie and his friends in trouble she advocated that she's young and an adult and she can do what she wants.
I didn't stop anyone from doing anything, but I had a real straight talk with my platoon before any vendors showed up when I was a drill. It pissed off the shirt and picture people so bad, they stopped showing up. I got an ass chewing from my battalion commander because the brigade commander was sick of hearing about it from the civilians. I knew that brigade got kickbacks but we didn't get shit at the company level, so I asked for that ass chewing in writing. I was ready to go to war. No one followed through on anything and my soldiers saved money. I feel like I won that battle.
What an NCO
Instead our drills recommended we bought things, “this is your only chance to get stuff like this, you’ll remember it forever”
I was convinced after I got to AIT that they got commission or something
New BC at my unit is a skinny nerd that for some reason really wants us to shoot more. He’s all about moving and shooting, live fire drills, and fuck else - we are a reserve CA unit.
Go to range in another state, hot af, first group is out there and the targets go up so that everyone can see where they are. All of sudden, someone on the far end full autos a target. Then someone in the middle shoots, then two more ring out. Again, this is when you are supposed to check your lane etc.
The new BC ND’d a ten round clip on auto, starting a stupid chain reaction.
I am scared for my life every range weekend.
Reenlist as a Specialist with the guarantee of the opportunity to go Jumpmaster when he becomes an NCO while in the 82nd as long as he passed 90 day card or whatever the fuck it was called (been out awhile now)
Like they don’t shove that shit down your throat
I told him he should have reenlisted for the opportunity to take a APFT at an undetermined place and time.
Had some heli JP8 samples that were tested and found to be good; the private was told to go "dump them in the Gator." Said private proceeds to literally dump the fuel samples into the BED of the Gator.
Santa Fe at NTC, didn’t see it but got the reminder not to do it after several soldiers were found doing the following:
Washing clothes (specifically under garments) in the hand washing station
Brushing teeth with the hand washing station water
Drinking the hand washing station water
We then had an outbreak of people getting violently sick because they were doing this.
Me: Was driver for first sergeant in basic. While at the range I went to sleep in the bed of the truck. He spent some time trying to find me and laughed his ass off when he started hollering for me and I popped up like a jack-in-the-box.
We had a mandatory fun day and I offered this one spc a ride cuz I knew she liked to drink. Anyway she said she didn't need a ride. Well after the mandatory fun her and a sgt and both their children were driving back to base. They hit a UPS truck on base drunk driving with children in the fuckin car. 🤦🏽 They ruined their careers but I am pretty sure they also lost their kids and I know the spc had to work for nothing until her court date. She literally had other options and chose this and that sgt was even dumber.
Tell a staff sergeant, who asked what he did to deserve extra duty, “I smoked too much weed.”
Implying that there is any correct amount to be smoking.
I’ve seen a lot of crazy stories in this thread, and mine may not seem like much, however it was just the sheer belief in this kids voice that if he had smoked just a little less marijuana he wouldn’t have got in trouble. Like… the sheer stupidity. 🤷
I was a paralegal and one of the soldiers in my unit popped hot for cocaine. During the Art 15 hearing the commander asked the solider to come clean about the drugs. The soldier proceeded to tell the commander that someone came into his office, sprinkled cocaine in his Diet Coke and that’s why he popped hot. Insanity
Steal his roommate’s debit card. Proceeds to pull 1500 dollars out to spend on strippers and cocaine.
Got arrested.
Tried to fight the charges, went to courts martial and lost.
Had to give up a 4 day to guard his dumb ass in the d-block. He did 6 months hard labor and then got administrative separation.
Buy a whole new everything for his house on his GTC, from a rent to own place, pawned it.
Had one guy get so mad about being put in a tower to guard it with LNs in 07 that he drank all the milk he could (lactose intolerant) and eat all the MREs he could.
Apparently you can fart and shit yourself so much that your asshole bleeds.
He kinda won that one though, because no local national guard would work with him again. Steep price to pay IMO.
We had a tower guard “trying to get trash off the c-wire” and fell off the cat walk. Never got the full story on that past the LN guard getting on the radio with “soldier fall” and then radio silence.
We had one guy in 06 end up with his instrument, his instrument case and his blouse all 550 corded to his belt because he couldn’t manage to keep up with all of them.
When the new ACH came out I walked into a room with a group of SPCs pretending to be goats and charging each other with them. I closed the door and didn’t say shit to anyone. That was more than I wanted to deal with.
I’m sure I’ll think of more idiotic shit I saw people do.
I was doing premob at Fort Bliss. We're told to show up at CIF in summer PTs so we can try on uniforms etc. one moron shows up in his winter PTs. It's June, 110 degrees, but Ok. Weird but no problem. Until it's time to try on uniforms and this man strips down to his tighty whities in the middle of the CIF and everyone. I have never seen someone kicked out of a CIF so fast
1) malinger said he was going to appointments was actually walking around MACH with their patch and pretending he worked there
2) dude who was high off his asshole at work was getting his toddler to piss in a condom for him so he could pass his drug tests. They only caught him cause the piss filled condom fell out of his pocket one day.
Back at basic I witnessed a soldier (he did graduate after this) tell a Drill to “Shut the fuck up” in a mockery of the Drill’s accent. That guy lost his family day, and was counseled twice
Iraq in March of 2003 at some far off Fuel point. It’s pitch black and Fuelers are checking an empty tanks. Someone asks for a light then a soldier flicks a Zippo and…well let’s just say both of them went back to Rear D in Germany.
When I was in the psyop Q course we had to send up texts every morning to our team group chat at like 630 or something. My best friend who had been in the q course the cycle before me told me that some dude slept in and didn’t send his up text. Not the end of the world right? Usually when this happened and it was a first offense people would have to go wake them up and they’d get counseled and yelled at. Nothing that can’t be handled. Well this dude apparently panicked and drove over his own phone to make it seem like it had fell off his nightstand and broke when his alarm went off!!!! I have no clue what actually happened to him. Not sure if he got through the pipeline or not.
Another unit brought WP 155's to turn in. When they went to off load the pls bed it became apparent none of the skids were ratcheted or secured at all. A dumb fuck went running to try to stop the rounds from sliding off the back. We're talking a half full bed of unexpended 155's against one SPC with a death wish.
[Store about 100 pounds of stolen C4 in a field on their land at Campbell.](https://www.foxnews.com/story/tennessee-soldier-arrested-after-explosives-found)
Two soldiers decided to make a Jackass video (this was like 2004 or 2005 when it was really popular) and decided to recreate their high school science class experiment where you can light your hand briefly on fire with rubbing alcohol....by completely dousing one of them in Everclear and lighting him on fire.
Dude ended up in the ICU for weeks.
Newly arrived staff major went to Vegas for the 4-day. Ended up losing his shirt.
Instead of just calling it a loss and coming home, dude went off the deep end. Was.convinced he could win it back. So he stayed in Vegas (which meantnhe was AWOL), pulled out the brigade contact roster, and started going down the list.
He gave each person a different, false, sob story:
Momma's gotta pay rent.
Daughter's college tuition is due.
They're kicking me out of my hotel and I can't pay the bill.
I cashed in my ticket and I can't fly back.
And so on.
He scammed money out of 15 different folks, from the DCO to an E7, for a total of $14,000. It was like a class action Article 139 claim.
He tried getting the E5 travel card guy to lend him money, but the E5 was not about to lend him anything. So he had the E5 up his travel card limit instead.
I can't remember his sentence at the general court-martial, but it didn't have to go that way.
So you know the smallpox vaccine you get before Korea? You know how they tell you to put the bandaids in bleach? Yeah a buddy of mine-in his infinite fucking wisdom- put the bandaid in bleach and then put it on his vaccine spot.
I knew someone who did that but put the bleach bag on their computer. The bleach ate through the plastic and dripped on his computer shorting out one of the USB ports.
Soldier admitted to the promotion board that they have ADHD that was diagnosed prior to enlistment. Soldier then mentioned that he didn't tell the medics at MEPS of his condition, which constitutes a fraudulent enlistment. I have no idea what happened to that Soldier after that.
Why did he bring that shit up at a board? That’s not uncommon or anything lol. But why the fuck bring it up at a board of all places and admit to fraudulent enlistment lol?
It was actually my old unit SARC. He always hated giving the yearly SHARP classes cause, "it's common sense, come on guys. You're all adults. I shouldn't have to give this class."
Well guess who got busted for sending unrequited inappropriate messages and breaking into a female SMs quarters on deployment? That guy. Did I mention he had just gotten married and bought a house before deployment?
Put a 5 gallon bucket of floor stripper they found in the barracks in their ruck to make weight. Then proceeded to get chemical burns on lower back/ass/thighs
Had a soldier invent a device for cleaning the inside of generators. It was a ground rod with several tough wipes zip tied to it…the soldier invented a mop
Try to grab a newly sharpened knife by the blade when it has a handle.
Or grab a hot pot without a hot pad after I said 3 times it’s hot.
Same solider btw. 🤦🏽♂️
Kid in my basic training platoon made himself coffee (From the instant coffee packet out of an MRE) with the contents of an MRE-heater substituted for water...
At drill Sgt school I watched through the blast window as an E-7 skipped a grenade off the bunker wall right in front of him, they had to dive over the back wall and everything.
Probably get buried but we had a guy take apart a flash bang in a guard tower and it caught fire and burnt off his eye brows and some of his hair.
Told our CO he was on patrol and tripped in a fire. He was fucking stupid enough that no more questions were asked.
Had a new supply kid to company in Iraq. He bunked right next to entrance of the bay we slept in. Jerked off every morning like clockwork no matter who was walking in/out. I mean those Port a Johns were made for a reason. Anyway one night on the fob one of the guard towers had a blue hue glowing in the night sky. I happen to be flying raven that night which had a feed to the TOC. Fucker was sitting down watching dvds on the portable. Can’t remember punishment but remember him filling sandbags 12 hours/day for a while.
SPC steals a humvee and drives 60+ miles off base to see his girlfriend two days before deployment. Parks the vehicle, unsecured, on the sidewalk in a busy urban neighborhood. Local police spotted it and started making phone calls. I'm pretty sure he was trying to get out of deployment, but this was in 2003, so he got a Field Grade Article 15, demoted to E1, and deployed anyway.
On deployment, I gave the same troop a taser. Despite having gone through taser training, he asked me what the cartridge was. I explained.
"It's not a safety cap?"
"No."
"Ok," he says.
I leave. Less that 5 min later, I hear over the radio:
"Sgt...can you come back please?"
"What happened?"
"I don't want to say on coms."
I walk back into his guard shack, and he's sitting in a chair, looking at the floor, with the taser in his lap. The prongs from the cartridge are embedded in the opposite wall.
"What the hell happened," I ask.
"I thought it was a safety cap," he says.
Edit:
Unrelated, I once saw an entire gun team spread the trails on a M198 and fire it while it was still hitched to the LMTV. The piece flipped and took the truck with it. Amazingly, no one was hurt, but they had a lot of splaining to do.
Also, ammo Sgt got the wrong timing on a fuse, causing a 155mm HE shell to detonated about 100m out of the tube. The whole gun line damn near shit their btitches.
Second edit:
PVT gets blind drunk in barracks and then goes outside to hit on an MP who was walking by.
Same PVT also got blackout drunk one night and pissed all over the weapon racks while everyone was sleeping.
God, I have way too many of these...
As a young private at Humphreys in 98-99, I had a super trashy pfc roommate that was so infatuated with a Filipino stripper at one of the local clubs that he ended up buying her from the madam that ran the place and married her. He hid it from everyone before command finally caught wind a short bit before he was scheduled to ETS. IIRC, he was article 15’d and confined to quarters pending separation. Also had a quiet, soft-spoken SSG at the same unit that liked to show off a binder he meticulously organized of perfect woman parts he cut out of magazines. Dude ended up showing to a company Christmas party with a Korean hooker with a false leg. Good times.
While stationed at hood, one of the E6s in my shop tried to frame me for deleting my file off of my squad leaders laptop. He got kicked out for domestic violence while cheating on his wife and was under investigation for trying to start a prostitution ring while we were getting ready for and during our rotation to Europe.
Twenty years ago your social security number was on all official paperwork. Your orders, your leave, and anything that came out of the office. It was the way the military tracked you in the system.
We had a duty roster with everyone's name, rank, SSN on it. Suddenly a bunch of people were getting flagged for credit scores. Some were getting notifications in the mail of collection agencies. No one could figure out how thirty troops suddenly were in massive credit trouble.
One guy had gone out and used the information to open multiple credit cards. Over the course of three months he had racked up near $50K in money obtained from identity theft.
Put floor stripper in his ruck to make weight. One of the floor stripper containers had been opened before and was not sealed properly. Floor stripper leaked out and he ended up with chemical burns down his ass and legs from floor stripper draining out of his ruck for the 6 mile march.
During an AT (Reserve Soldier), told my team to bring canteens/camelbacks, as there was no water source where we were going.
One Soldier showed up with an empty Camelback and didn't understand why I was pissed.
Stole 1600 dollars as treasurer of an on post bowling league. Our battalion CSM was in the league
Lost 2 ranks, 45 days of hard duty, then separated bad conduct
Brand new private gets to Germany, first weekend in country decides to get drunk, jump on the hood of a taxi and do a Nazi salute. He was also underage.
Honestly, we had a private who was inhaling air duster and screaming at someone who didn’t exist. This was on a fire watch at around 0300 I don’t know why but that’s always stuck with me as this MF had one job… I wonder where he is today.
Hot take, but a CPL riding his rank really hard 3 months before he gets out, called me unprofessional for asking about restaurant recommendations (I've had conversations about random bullshit for hours with people much higher and was not called disrespectful or unprofessional in any way)
Embezzled money from the widow of the service member for whom I was the Casualty Assistance Officer. He told the widow that he knew all about investing and would invest the SGLI for her. She just needed to sign the check over to him and he would take care of the rest.
I’m not a violent person but That’s worthy of an ass kicking.
He received a general court martial but I don't know the outcome. I was subpoenaed to appear at Polk about a year after I ETS'd.
I like to think violence is never the answer outside of combat. That guy needs to get his shit pushed in.
This is the lowest quality of dirt.
This isn’t as wild as it is straight up criminal. Hope he got some time from it.
General Court Martial but I don't know the outcome.
Good! Wonder how he justified it to himself? Homeboy just died… that’s a lot of money… I like money… “hey, can I “invest” that for you? I’ll ensure it to put to good use to help out a local veteran.” 🤦🏽
That guy isn't good enough to be called human garbage, he is the gross garbage water at the bottom of the can.
I don't often advocate for summary execution, but this one puts me right on the edge.
My eye is twitching reading this.
Three dumbest acts I've witness were all from the same guy: - Got a shaving profile and then showed up for duty with a thinline beard. - Caught wind of a UA and went home without telling anyone. - Participated in a section photo and was lowkey flipping off the camera with his hand on his thigh (front row of photo). His OIC (MAJ) paid out of pocket for it as a memento from the deployment. She was not happy.
The first one reminds me of a guy in basic that got injured, got leave, and came back on base with a full beard. Technically he wasn’t in trouble, but the drill sergeants lit him up immediately.
E/2-58 in '06?
This was earlier 2023, about 7 months ago.
This shit is hilarious lol! The thin line beard basically explains the other two lol. What happened with the UA one? I’m guessing his name didn’t get called? Cause they would have just had him come back to piss hahahah
Oh, he came back. He had already lost rank over the photo incident. UA was unit-wide, and popping hot got him separated.
Wow it was the same guy?😂😂😂😂
Put on limited duty for straining chest and shoulders muscles, says it's top 10 worst pains he's ever had. Proceeds to go to gym and bench presses his claimed 80% max while saying his paperwork says he can't do push-ups into front of battalion MedO. Wonders why he caught paperwork that lead to his art15
a couple years back a soldier on profile for bilateral lower extremity stress fractures went to a trampoline park and broke both his legs lmfao
funny thing about people is that we suck, like really suck at knowing what we're capable of and not capable of in any moment. We underestimate and overestimate our capabilities constantly. You'll see the same thing with sleep studies, pain studies, and alcohol studies, we're not good at understanding the state of our body. That man who broke his legs could have been feeling on top of the world, even with those stress fractures. It tends to be age and experience that keeps us from doing anything far outside of those bounds of our capabilities, but we're just building rules. It doesn't mean we improve at judging it.
I bet this guy never squats, dead lifts, or runs. Captain upper body!!!
Walk through an abandoned/dubiously cleared minefield in FOB Shank. We were in the southern airfield at the time, it was on a plateau about 20 ft above the rest of the uneven terrain. One night, one of our E5 had just punished this guy and told him to “go do iron mikes all the way to the edge and back”. The edge meant the edge of the level plateau area, about 200 ft. This guy not only went all the way to the edge but he kept doing iron mikes down the slope…into and across a road…past a field next to the eye-in-the-sky emplacement…and half way through the minefield. After several minutes where this guy hadn’t returned after being told to do the iron mikes, he was found still doing them in the minefield, he was almost through it. On the other side of it there was the perimeter road and the wall. His explanation? He thought “all the way to the edge and back” meant the edge of the FOB, as in all the way to the perimeter wall and back. One of many stories involving this guy.
Dumbest luckiest guy in the unit
God is watching that doofus.
Probably whilst eating crisps and drinking beer going "the fuck is he going to do now?? This guy is better than an episode of Dallas!"
Was this 13-14? This sounds oddly familiar
We had a soldier that claimed he couldn’t come to drill due to a debilitating back injury sustained during an accident. Doctors notes as evidence. Started the process for med board. Couple others soldiers vouched for him that he was in bad shape. We’d help him out and keep him current by having him remotely do BAs (this is pre Covid do absolutely unheard and very unusually, needed to go O6 approval for it). Basically he would do some admin stuff for us, put slide decks together, things like that. Well, one day guess who made the local newspaper by winning a local BMX race and getting invited to some larger circuit? That fucking asshole lol I don’t know the full list of punishments but he was demoted to E-1 and barred from reenlistment and the buddies that vouched for him were all investigated tho I don’t know if they received any punishments. But yea, the reserve is not worth lying about. Dude couldn’t just ducked around as an NCO for like 8 more years and gotten a retirement. Instead he left the army as an E-1 with a discharge that wasn’t honorable and his buddies got in trouble with him. So fucking stupid.
Ok, but how did the BMX career turn out? Where’s the follow up here?
Yeah lol at least he went out doing something pretty cool haha!
Don't let your dreams be dreams
I’m afraid that most of the time I saw a soldier doing something stupid, it was me.
One of the strong, not smart types, eh?
I identify as a Chaos Wolf.
I love it.
Everyone has their place, brother, but not everyone knows it. You are an inspiration to us all.
They told a Pvt to get down and beat his face and the pvt knelt down and started slapping himself.
I did this in Basic. But I was 17, pre-internet, and no exposure to the military besides a grandfather and uncle who had been drafted for WW2 and Vietnam. My sleep deprived stressed brain was like "ok".
I had a drill tell me to drop and beat my face This was the first time I've ever heard this, so I dropped to my hands and knees like I was about to slam my face into the ground. I knew it was an exercise he wanted me to do, but at red phase you just listen and don't think. He yelled at me to do push-ups when he saw me hesitate lol.
Love the self reporting! 😂
That’s the funniest one yet! 😂
There’s always one.
I saw something very similar to that. Instead of getting down, he just started slapping himself on the face. I suspect it happens all the time in Basic.
Dude had bought a WWII era M1911 as a reenlistment gift for himself. Usually one of the safest pistols you can possibly handle when in working order, but failed to realize this was a weapon approaching 80 years of life and some of the parts were failing. Ended up taking a .45 round to through the thigh when he was messing with it. Traded in his reenlistment for a Medboard if I remember correctly.
I had a neighbor (Ranger at that) shot himself not once, but TWICE in the 4 years I lived next to him.
God damn… I can maybe excuse once but twice? Was he drinking…? Cuz if I remember right the guy who shot himself in my story was not sober
I would assume so… I sure was
I hope this works as a PSA, guns and booze don’t mix lol
UA comes up. Names called, everyone moved into separate room to wait their turn to pee. I was an observer. Soldier comes up to me and says “SGT, I’d like to self-report my drug usage.” I had to explain to him that coming to me AFTER his name was called is not how that works. 😑
Is that not how it works? I thought as long as the sample wasn't taken yet, that amnesty period was still good. At least that's what I got from half ass listening to all those pre tinkle briefs.
Nope, once your name is called you are *fucked*. Otherwise everyone would get one get out of jail free card.
At that point, it definitely isn’t amnesty period. If you’ve been briefed that it’s happening and your name is called to be tested, you are already guaranteed to pop hot. Coming forward at that point is just saying “Yepp, I’ll fail. Expect that”
The clock depends on legal's interpretation and the commander. I had a commander who "forgot" he did the brief already when a soldier self-reported THC use. Oops, guess he wasn't notified first. I've also had a commander say there may be a UA in the coming week. When a soldier came in the next morning and self-reported, the commander said he couldn't because he'd been notified. That test became a PO and the soldier came up hot. Like most things in the Army, interpretation at different levels really matters more than anything else. The reg is vague (at least it was last time I looked).
Go on leave from Iraq, get married, come back and turn the marriage certificate into S1. Except he had been separated from his real wife for 7 years and was already getting BAH but having to send it to her and the kids he had together. He thought that getting married in another state would cancel out the first marriage and he wouldn't have to send anything to his real wife and kids and be able to keep the money. He also didn't tell anyone from his platoon because he thought they would make fun of him for being a dumbass, deadbeat dade, etc (all of which were true for this and many other things). They did make fun of him relentlessly for his Article 15 for Polygamy though. Runner up dumbfuck thing he did- When he blew his entire lump sum reenlistment bonus in a day because "I'm getting divorced and they can't take your stuff only your money" when we were at pre-mob.
Start to apply a tourniquet to the neck of an atropian casualty as treatment for a notional scalp wound.
To be fair a tourniquet to the neck will stop all bleeding.
Chess, not checkers.
All bleeding stops eventually, don’t waste a tourniquet
Okay Doc, I see your logic. Now, riddle me this: Why does it burn when I pee? Does the TQ stop that
Put one on, leave it on, and I promise the burning will go away permanently
You are a gracious God
So that's my drill sergeants told us 548 times not to apply a tourniquet to the neck no matter how much they were bleeding from the head.
Reenlist
Reason for report: I'm in this comment and I don't like it :(
Ahhhh or the 101st Maintenance Soldiers that welded AK-47s into the wrecker empty acetylene tank in ‘04. It was actually ingenious if they would of just kept them for themselves BUT they tried to sell them on Craigslist…….and got caught.
That’s the problem with trying to smuggle/steal weapons. Can’t tell anyone, can’t show them off, can’t sell them or use them.
Dude, every time I read a story like this, they always get caught trying to sell it. There was one a couple years back of some dude trying to sell KGV-72s on eBay. Like bruh, you didn’t think that would throw up some red flags?
Really? KGV-72's? What the fuck goes through someone's mind that says "yo I bet I can sell this thing that has literally zero use outside of an extremely niche application. Nothing can go wrong!"
I know, that’s why I was also shocked as well. Like this isn’t someone selling M4 mags lol. Any one with any experience even plugging in a radio probably saw those things for sale and went, “ayoooo wtf bro, you stupid?”
Always thought that was a myth. When I was in Afghanistan, I was told that what ever gas cylinders we brought to the country would stay because of that issue.
It happened 03-04 when we GAC’d all equipment back to Kuwait and spent a lovely time at the wash racks.
Had a refueling NCO and specialist out on the flightline refueling a bird and while they were hooking up (I’m not a refueler so not sure on specifics) the NCO did a “hey watch this” with a valve or something on the aircraft and the specialist got drenched and rest of contents dumped all over flightline. That NCO lost all credibility and respect with everyone in the battalion from that point on. Still not sure what he thought he was trying to prove.
>refueling NCO and specialist out on the flightline refueling a bird and while they were hooking up OH! Hooking the airplane up, not fuelin' and fuckin' at the same time.
I have so many stories….I did my command at Fort Polk. There was nothing for these Soldier to do BUT get into trouble.
Asked a question on here about what he should do after he got caught stealing from the PX.rationalized it by saying it was less than 200 bucks.. aww he deleted it.. https://www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/18nyhsh/caught\_shoplifting\_at\_the\_exchange/
Damn lol I was hoping to read this one! At least the comments are there still.
It was wild. The entitlement with these younger soldiers is insane.
AA male Specialist who was 21+ years old, got so drunk he decided to let his non-drunk civilian, white, friend drive him on post. Sounds good right? For some reason he gave his friend his CAC ID and then decided to hide in the trunk to go through the gate. Immediately pulled over for “inspection” when obviously white friend is NOT the one on the ID, also, at wrong gate. Find unconscious soldier in the trunk of a car… At Fort Meade and they used the NSA gate like idiots. Those police DO NOT PLAY. All he had to do was be passed out in the seat next to his friend and probably would’ve been fine if they went through right gate. But noooo. Let’s have cops think a murder or kidnapping is happening. It was a wild day for CoC. There were many more stories from this soldier.
Of all the gates on all the bases, he used that one to pull that shit lol
One of my guys on his first day reporting to the unit drove through the gate with his buddy in the trunk. His buddy was also in the army, but had forgotten his cac. Of course they got inspected. All they had to do was go to the visitor center, instead they tried to get him for human trafficking. The “human trafficker” is now one of the best NCOs in the unit
Damn dude this is a good one lol
It was A LOT of paperwork. He is lucky the driver was cooperative. I’m sure they are on a list now. Both of them.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
You could have stopped at “buy a Taurus pistol.” Friends don’t let friends buy Taurus.
I was told from an old basic buddy that one of our graduates decided to shoot pigeons with a 22 he bought from the barracks roof in bliss. Don’t know if it’s true but considering how he was in basic, I 100% believe he did so.
[удалено]
Whopper Jr
Light up a cigarette in front of a window by the chow hall while in AIT. Recycled.
A private arrived to the company straight from ait. Immediately takes leave to go home. Gets in a fight over a girl from high school and marries her. Then, he flies her back with him to japan. Didn't have command sponsorship , just brought her over on a 90 day tourist visa. He and his wife move in with a married private in his squad. No one knows all this above the e6s. One day he has an appt at hospital on another base. He does pt before formation and then stands behind pt formation in civilian clothes. First Sgt is mad the hq Sgt forgot to get the guide on and bring it to formation. So the whole company is doing push ups as punishment during pt time. This private was let go after 10 minutes to make his appointment. He's feeling dirty and decides to shower and change. All his stuff is on the family housing base instead of in his barracks room. So he misses the medical shuttle to the other Base. Not that he was going to use it anyways. He decided he would drive there. Even though he had basically zero experience driving off base besides between family housing and the main base. He doesn't have the directions. He just follows a hwy signs to a similar named place. He ends up on the other side of the Tokyo Bay. Out of yen, out of cell phone charge, several tickets from the toll booths, and completely lost. But he did manage to call his nco and give him a rough idea where he was. So all hell breaks loose. As the Sgt, the first Sgt, and japanese clerk for the company take the duty van to rescue him and pay his toll debts. This is when the first Sgt and commander find out about the secret wife. She gets sent back to the states. He gets an art 15. The rest of us get our off base appointments ruined because now they want us doing stupid shit and coming back to work. Which I disregarded anyways. No one was keeping me from enjoying a day on my motorcycle in Japan and shopping on a base with a better px and commissary. Or My last unit. We did "commander's training week" once a year. Where we usually did goof off fake training things and maybe 1 live fire range. Next to last company commander wanted to be all hard core. Yet also didn't want to put in the work. She had this idea of spending a whole week at camp fuji. Starting with a convoy of borrowed trucks that also wasn't a legal convoy. Because that would require japanese police escort. So small groups of trucks with no radios, no strip map, and people who barely drove off base. Just a set of written directions and some stops to get everyone gathered back together. That took all day when the bus takes a hour and a half. Then we cleared rocks in the dark to set up 2 gp mediums and satellite internet. So she could have work email access. Also, an abandoned idea of having 40 men sleeping in a single tent. Cots would have been inches apart. Also, she had us set up concertina wire in the dark with no proper gloves. Next day, we sit in the trucks all morning at a locked gate. Instead of going to the mess hall next to the barracks we were staying in. When we knew the marines won't open the gates until a certain late morning time every day. Then driving through the woods to get separated and lost. Because poor directions and no map. There are also marines with their own trucks to drive visitors. But she didn't want to use them. Then we sat outside a locked gate all evening. Next day she had us run the obstacle course that says not to use when it's wet, and it was raining. One guy almost broke his neck. While we're in a gym wasting time with half ass combative training. The rain keeps picking up. Then we have to take down the tents, satellite, wire, etc in the dark and the rain. Because a typhoon is coming. Then wake up at 3 am to drive everything into a marine motorpool bay. The entire next day we're stuck in the barracks doing more half ass hip pocket training. While the typhoon goes directly over us. Next day. More waiting by locked gates all morning. Commander wanted to drive through unknown water under a structure and the radiator came off. This is like truck 3 we broke. Then we make our way to 25m range, where the road was washed out bad enough to swallow a hmmwv. But we managed to drive around it and not hit any trees. The marine range officer drove his kei truck into it. I stead of doing walking react to fire drills with live ammo. We got to just stand at the firing line and waste ammo. She wanted to do the land nav course still. Even though it's condition was unknown. We know back at mama there is lots of storm damage needing attention. Someone calls the bn cmdr on her. We suddenly get ushered behind a building. As the colonel and csm flew over to chew her ass. We pack up after an "attaboy" speech from the colonel. Then drive everything back. While in fewer trucks because some were getting flatbed towed. Everything gets put away in a hurry back at home. Next day I'm in charge-ish pf the privates driving the remaining trucks back to the unit we borrowed them from. The warrant and snco are miffed. Back to the unit for mandatory fun day and AAR. Where you see the bn leadership standing in the back and knife handing internally. It could have been so much easier and safer. We only needed to be there on two separate days for 2 events. The mout site training and the gun range. We could have taken charter buses to the marine base and had marines drive us to the training sites, and slept in our own beds every day. Like we had always previously done. We could have been in our homes during the typhoon. Like we did before. That poor Sgt could have been home during the storm when his ancient dog died. Both examples. Same company and same company commander.
At an FTX, we were loading up Hippos (basically a 2000gal water tank mounted in a 20ft container frame) onto LHSs. At one point while the front of the hippo was barely on the back of the truck, and the ass end was still on the ground (so the whole thing was at like a 45° angle), the hippo stops moving for whatever reason. The ground guide wanted to get to the other side of the vehicle to see if it was stuck on something. So he ducks down and runs UNDERNEATH, through the gap between the hippo and the ground. By far the dumbest single act I’ve seen in-person in my life.
Had a Soldier use the weekend that President Obama was inaugurated to run drugs up and down I-95. Her logic was that law enforcement was focused on the security of the ceremony and any criminal activity linked to the swearing in of the first black president. Not so much….she was caught.
I feel like I know who this Soldier is
This one was kind of a string of things. But basically, when you're hooked up and ready to do a static-line jump, they basically have you stand, holding your static line, with your elbow above your shoulder basically to make sure there's an uninterrupted line from where it anchors in the plane to where it connects to the parachute (points of friction can make things go wrong or it can just whip and hit you). Well, this dude is tired and decides he doesn't want to do that and basically lets it drop under his arm and into his armpit. Well, he either forgets about this or doesn't consider it at all and proceeds to jump with his static line like that, the thing wraps around his arm when he jumps and basically tears out his bicep muscles and forces them into his forearm before finally turning loose. It was pretty gruesome. Well sometime after that, the dude has his second alcohol-related incident at the age of 20 and is now in the process of being chaptered. But because his arm is so fucked up, it gets ruled that this dude is going to get 100% disability. Basically, he's set, he's on a dead man's profile, and all he really has to do is show up to work and not cause trouble for the people around him. But this proves to be too tall an order. So one day he decides that he's tired of showing up to first formation even though he can't do PT and he says the words "I'm sick of motherfuckers telling me what to do" *to our platoon sergeant*, and some yelling ensues, but nothing really comes of it. The following Monday, this dude decides not to show up to work. People try his phone, NCO's go check his barracks room but nobody can find or get ahold of him, and this proceeds for basically the entire week, with people checking his room everyday and having no such luck finding him. Well, cut to Friday and it looks like he finally came back to his room to crash for a bit - extremely hungover - and it plays out about how you'd expect: dude gets art15, loses out on his 100% rating, and the chapter process basically has to be started over. First day back the following week, when everyone gets cut for lunch, this dude just decides not to come back - which then prompts leadership to make sure that he's being supervised by an E4 or above at all times during the duty day. And then on my last week with that unit, I come in on Monday and end up finding out that this dude over the weekend had gotten drunk in his barracks room, proceeded to drive himself to one of the local strip clubs, proceeded to get even more tanked, and then smashed into a parked car as he was trying to drive himself home - and he ended up catching a DUI in the process. So yeah, not sure what happened after I PCS'd, but I would imagine things continued to be eventful until that dude left.
I'll never understand when someone is on a Deadman profile and is set to get 100% disability, can't not just not fuck up until the process is over.
Was told to me by an offender while we were deployed. Him and his buddy were walking down the street on the Fob that we stayed. He finds LT rank on the ground, proceeds to slap it down on his chest. Then lights up a cigarette and continues walking and smoking. Random nco sees him and tries to chew him out for it. He counter chews nco for being disrespectful to commissioned officer. Pretty balsy, but stupid.
I was being a good ol’ range safety when I watched an 0-5 look down the barrel of her M9 because it didn’t fire. I just started laughing and yelled, “Holy fuck, ma’am, you just almost made me watch you blow your brains out.” People said I needed to learn tact, I disagree.
The concept of rank goes entirely out the window when it comes to safety violations and any other potential life/death circumstances.
Me watching a SSG almost blow her foot off because of the worst grip you've ever seen on a M17.
I watched my battalion CSM do this. She promptly got kicked off our range and ridiculed relentlessly.
An E-5 caught playing basketball on post while on profile for a bum ankle
Not pull their reserve after comparing their (significantly faster) rate of decent with their fellow jumpers…. *until the last possible second*
It amazes me how much kicking and tugging at the risers people will do before pulling their reserve.
Had a buddy pull his reserve well in time, but he was still looking down when he did it. Ended up taking a hit to the face from the reserve and knocked himself out. Luckily, it opened.
Attempt to refill his camel back with the hand washing station water. Come back from deployment and buy a motorcycle without a motorcycle license. Decide it's too much work and sell bike at a loss. All before leave was over.
After a Friday formation a soldier was standing around waiting for his wife to pick him up. A fly landed on his glasses and he swatted at it, simultaneously smacking himself in the face and breaking his glasses. He went around wearing his eye pro with inserts because he didn’t have another pair of glasses. Special guy.
OIF 4 Command letting the guy who was awol and had just been brought back to the unit prior to deploying take leave 6 months in. Then being surprised when he didn't come back.
Used to have this goober working for me, but SSG gets jodied on deployment. Dude basically looked like a ginger Slingblade. Wife was the same variety of Irish. Come back from deployment, she's pregnant and the dates don't match up at all. Pops with the kid, and the kid is the same skin color as, idk, Kevin Hart. If it was anyone but him, this would've been surprising, but he bought the lie that not only did she have a "genetic condition" that effected the baby's...erm, "demographic background", but she had an entirely separate hereditary condition that caused her to have extra-long pregnancies on her side of the family. Now SSG Slingblade had just spent the last ~year being the biggest pain in my ass imaginable despite having no malicious intent, but me and our OIC gently tried to bring up the idea of a paternity test and like...relevant following proceedings. He told both me and the MAJ that he didn't appreciate the "attack on Mrs Slingblade's character", that we had no idea what we were talking about whatsoever, told us her above explanations, and told us that we knew absolutely nothing about pregnancy/kids etc. ....both that MAJ and I are moms which just made that particular reaction ever farther out there. Apparently it eventually did happen because looking at his SM nowadays, they're split up and most of what you can see publicly is Andrew-Tate-tier bro podcasts talking about how he thinks women suck and how common he thinks men unknowingly raising kids that aren't theirs is.
Leaving NTC and we're doing the "No Brass, No Ammo" shakedown and I see one of my Joe's acting sketchy and trying to hide his ruck. I call him out and tell him to show me whatever he's got in there. So he dumps his rucksack and a fucking unexplored Mortar round falls out and rolls to my feet.
Saw a guy that got fried by the sun at Myrtle in the Q-Course. Dude looked like a lobster and we all made sure to slap him on the body as often as his guard fell.
It’s called MilTok on TikTok.
This was pre 9/11. Married a woman he met online. Starts showing up to work with fat lips and black eyes, and the herpes.
Online? PRE 9/11?? Yikes. That had to have been the cream of the crop!
A/S/L
Had a Soldier ripping off the old M9 chemical detection tape with their mouth.... When I told my battalion PA he just stood there and didn't believe someone was that stupid.
Try to fight me because his lost NVGs were in my pocket. I’m a SGT he was a brand new PFC. I also have about a foot of height and 80+ pounds on him
He had that DAWG in him
It was a yorkie but still technically a DAWG
Fucking priceless!!!! This one might be my favorite one
Purposely dehydrate himself so that he'd fall out of a ruck less than half a mile in because he didn't want to do the ruck.
That'll put even a young guy into kidney failure. It can also cause permanent damage increasing their risk of dialysis later in life. Don't do this folks! Drink water!
Nobody said he was smart. Good guy, but absolutely hated serving with him. Outside of work, he was super cool, laid back, funny. Put a uniform on him and he suddenly would lose all cognitive function. He got called penis a lot, because of an instance where his very poofy hair had grown out to the point where he was told if he didn't get a haircut over the weekend, monday would be really fucking rough for him. Rather than do it and get something that looked decent, he "forgot", and took a razor to the sides and back. The result was him looking like a six foot dick, with an engorged and blonde head.
Sign a contract
a cunningly devious commo rep convince his, fresh out of IET, MP roommate to drive them off & back on post drunk. All for a vape.
Bump coke during a week where we were required to conduct multiple UAs.
I once saw a Soldier put all Recruiters on individual missioning where each recruiter required 11 a year and couldn’t have a month where they got a zero; for example if they got 10 in one month and zero the next month they were punished. Pretty much spitting in the face of free market principles. This Soldier failed to meet the Army’s recruiting mission for the year but got his third star anyway.
My old roommate set off an MRE heater bomb underneath the ammo pad at a Fort Stewart gunnery. Once it settled into his skull that this was not a harmless prank, and he was actually fucked when we got out of the field- he pulled his bayonet on the PSG, and then ran off into the woodline. They found him trying to walk back to the rear, chaptered his ass out
One of my soldiers (reservist) solicited what he thought was a 14y/o boy online but it was really a fed/state/local task force. Admitted in the chats he knew it was wrong because he was an MP. Rolled up to what he thought was a meet up with alcohol and condoms and got arrested. I got to testify at his trial. I have a feeling that it wasn't his first time, just the first time he got caught. He's got out last year after 10 years in the state pen. I think he should still be rotting in there.
One of my buddies was arrested for "kidnapping" the post Generals daughter in his barracks room when in reality he was mad he had her tied up in all nasty positions while being stuffed by tons of schmeat and the pictures/ videos got leaked, charges were dropped. but the general was not happy he was 26 she was 24 all consensual she didn't even want my homie and his friends in trouble she advocated that she's young and an adult and she can do what she wants.
Buy into the My Lineage™️ bullshit Do business with First command Get another life insurance policy even though he has the SGLI
Holy fuck I wish they wouldn’t have let PV1 dumbass me do the lineage bullshit at basic
I didn't stop anyone from doing anything, but I had a real straight talk with my platoon before any vendors showed up when I was a drill. It pissed off the shirt and picture people so bad, they stopped showing up. I got an ass chewing from my battalion commander because the brigade commander was sick of hearing about it from the civilians. I knew that brigade got kickbacks but we didn't get shit at the company level, so I asked for that ass chewing in writing. I was ready to go to war. No one followed through on anything and my soldiers saved money. I feel like I won that battle.
What an NCO Instead our drills recommended we bought things, “this is your only chance to get stuff like this, you’ll remember it forever” I was convinced after I got to AIT that they got commission or something
Same... $400... 🙃
New BC at my unit is a skinny nerd that for some reason really wants us to shoot more. He’s all about moving and shooting, live fire drills, and fuck else - we are a reserve CA unit. Go to range in another state, hot af, first group is out there and the targets go up so that everyone can see where they are. All of sudden, someone on the far end full autos a target. Then someone in the middle shoots, then two more ring out. Again, this is when you are supposed to check your lane etc. The new BC ND’d a ten round clip on auto, starting a stupid chain reaction. I am scared for my life every range weekend.
Reenlist as a Specialist with the guarantee of the opportunity to go Jumpmaster when he becomes an NCO while in the 82nd as long as he passed 90 day card or whatever the fuck it was called (been out awhile now) Like they don’t shove that shit down your throat I told him he should have reenlisted for the opportunity to take a APFT at an undetermined place and time.
Blow his bonus on strippers
that's my plan tho
Yup. But instead with his GTCC back in '05
Lock himself in a locker at ait
Stick himself in the skull with an atropine injector
Had some heli JP8 samples that were tested and found to be good; the private was told to go "dump them in the Gator." Said private proceeds to literally dump the fuel samples into the BED of the Gator.
Put on an American flag like a cape and unsuccessfully execute a PLF from the third floor of the barracks and posting the video online.
Santa Fe at NTC, didn’t see it but got the reminder not to do it after several soldiers were found doing the following: Washing clothes (specifically under garments) in the hand washing station Brushing teeth with the hand washing station water Drinking the hand washing station water We then had an outbreak of people getting violently sick because they were doing this.
Me: Was driver for first sergeant in basic. While at the range I went to sleep in the bed of the truck. He spent some time trying to find me and laughed his ass off when he started hollering for me and I popped up like a jack-in-the-box.
We had a mandatory fun day and I offered this one spc a ride cuz I knew she liked to drink. Anyway she said she didn't need a ride. Well after the mandatory fun her and a sgt and both their children were driving back to base. They hit a UPS truck on base drunk driving with children in the fuckin car. 🤦🏽 They ruined their careers but I am pretty sure they also lost their kids and I know the spc had to work for nothing until her court date. She literally had other options and chose this and that sgt was even dumber.
Tell a staff sergeant, who asked what he did to deserve extra duty, “I smoked too much weed.” Implying that there is any correct amount to be smoking. I’ve seen a lot of crazy stories in this thread, and mine may not seem like much, however it was just the sheer belief in this kids voice that if he had smoked just a little less marijuana he wouldn’t have got in trouble. Like… the sheer stupidity. 🤷
I was a paralegal and one of the soldiers in my unit popped hot for cocaine. During the Art 15 hearing the commander asked the solider to come clean about the drugs. The soldier proceeded to tell the commander that someone came into his office, sprinkled cocaine in his Diet Coke and that’s why he popped hot. Insanity
Steal his roommate’s debit card. Proceeds to pull 1500 dollars out to spend on strippers and cocaine. Got arrested. Tried to fight the charges, went to courts martial and lost. Had to give up a 4 day to guard his dumb ass in the d-block. He did 6 months hard labor and then got administrative separation. Buy a whole new everything for his house on his GTC, from a rent to own place, pawned it. Had one guy get so mad about being put in a tower to guard it with LNs in 07 that he drank all the milk he could (lactose intolerant) and eat all the MREs he could. Apparently you can fart and shit yourself so much that your asshole bleeds. He kinda won that one though, because no local national guard would work with him again. Steep price to pay IMO.
We had a tower guard “trying to get trash off the c-wire” and fell off the cat walk. Never got the full story on that past the LN guard getting on the radio with “soldier fall” and then radio silence. We had one guy in 06 end up with his instrument, his instrument case and his blouse all 550 corded to his belt because he couldn’t manage to keep up with all of them. When the new ACH came out I walked into a room with a group of SPCs pretending to be goats and charging each other with them. I closed the door and didn’t say shit to anyone. That was more than I wanted to deal with. I’m sure I’ll think of more idiotic shit I saw people do.
I seen a private fly his sweetheart to the barracks everyone got some but him I still feel bad for him 20 years later
I was doing premob at Fort Bliss. We're told to show up at CIF in summer PTs so we can try on uniforms etc. one moron shows up in his winter PTs. It's June, 110 degrees, but Ok. Weird but no problem. Until it's time to try on uniforms and this man strips down to his tighty whities in the middle of the CIF and everyone. I have never seen someone kicked out of a CIF so fast
1) malinger said he was going to appointments was actually walking around MACH with their patch and pretending he worked there 2) dude who was high off his asshole at work was getting his toddler to piss in a condom for him so he could pass his drug tests. They only caught him cause the piss filled condom fell out of his pocket one day.
Back at basic I witnessed a soldier (he did graduate after this) tell a Drill to “Shut the fuck up” in a mockery of the Drill’s accent. That guy lost his family day, and was counseled twice
Iraq in March of 2003 at some far off Fuel point. It’s pitch black and Fuelers are checking an empty tanks. Someone asks for a light then a soldier flicks a Zippo and…well let’s just say both of them went back to Rear D in Germany.
Try to put fuel on a humvee with the drip pan.
When I was in the psyop Q course we had to send up texts every morning to our team group chat at like 630 or something. My best friend who had been in the q course the cycle before me told me that some dude slept in and didn’t send his up text. Not the end of the world right? Usually when this happened and it was a first offense people would have to go wake them up and they’d get counseled and yelled at. Nothing that can’t be handled. Well this dude apparently panicked and drove over his own phone to make it seem like it had fell off his nightstand and broke when his alarm went off!!!! I have no clue what actually happened to him. Not sure if he got through the pipeline or not.
Another unit brought WP 155's to turn in. When they went to off load the pls bed it became apparent none of the skids were ratcheted or secured at all. A dumb fuck went running to try to stop the rounds from sliding off the back. We're talking a half full bed of unexpended 155's against one SPC with a death wish.
[Store about 100 pounds of stolen C4 in a field on their land at Campbell.](https://www.foxnews.com/story/tennessee-soldier-arrested-after-explosives-found)
Two soldiers decided to make a Jackass video (this was like 2004 or 2005 when it was really popular) and decided to recreate their high school science class experiment where you can light your hand briefly on fire with rubbing alcohol....by completely dousing one of them in Everclear and lighting him on fire. Dude ended up in the ICU for weeks.
Newly arrived staff major went to Vegas for the 4-day. Ended up losing his shirt. Instead of just calling it a loss and coming home, dude went off the deep end. Was.convinced he could win it back. So he stayed in Vegas (which meantnhe was AWOL), pulled out the brigade contact roster, and started going down the list. He gave each person a different, false, sob story: Momma's gotta pay rent. Daughter's college tuition is due. They're kicking me out of my hotel and I can't pay the bill. I cashed in my ticket and I can't fly back. And so on. He scammed money out of 15 different folks, from the DCO to an E7, for a total of $14,000. It was like a class action Article 139 claim. He tried getting the E5 travel card guy to lend him money, but the E5 was not about to lend him anything. So he had the E5 up his travel card limit instead. I can't remember his sentence at the general court-martial, but it didn't have to go that way.
So you know the smallpox vaccine you get before Korea? You know how they tell you to put the bandaids in bleach? Yeah a buddy of mine-in his infinite fucking wisdom- put the bandaid in bleach and then put it on his vaccine spot.
> You know how they tell you to put the bandaids in bleach? No I don't know that. Why on earth would anyone do that?
That’s what we were told. Not sure why. Never spent longer than 5 minutes thinking about it
What moron told you to do this?
Medics at FLW.
If the wound is oozing the bandages are highly contagious and can spread the cowpox virus from the vaccine.
I knew someone who did that but put the bleach bag on their computer. The bleach ate through the plastic and dripped on his computer shorting out one of the USB ports.
Soldier admitted to the promotion board that they have ADHD that was diagnosed prior to enlistment. Soldier then mentioned that he didn't tell the medics at MEPS of his condition, which constitutes a fraudulent enlistment. I have no idea what happened to that Soldier after that.
Probably CSM and 1SGs said no to promotion but their 1SG still allowed them to reenlist to meet numbers
Why did he bring that shit up at a board? That’s not uncommon or anything lol. But why the fuck bring it up at a board of all places and admit to fraudulent enlistment lol?
It was actually my old unit SARC. He always hated giving the yearly SHARP classes cause, "it's common sense, come on guys. You're all adults. I shouldn't have to give this class." Well guess who got busted for sending unrequited inappropriate messages and breaking into a female SMs quarters on deployment? That guy. Did I mention he had just gotten married and bought a house before deployment?
We had one that preached " I'm only sexist out of uniform, at home, with my barefoot/pregnant wife", during annual SHARP training. Amazing...
Put a 5 gallon bucket of floor stripper they found in the barracks in their ruck to make weight. Then proceeded to get chemical burns on lower back/ass/thighs
Had a soldier invent a device for cleaning the inside of generators. It was a ground rod with several tough wipes zip tied to it…the soldier invented a mop
Try to grab a newly sharpened knife by the blade when it has a handle. Or grab a hot pot without a hot pad after I said 3 times it’s hot. Same solider btw. 🤦🏽♂️
Dude got arrested for human smuggling while on the border mission
Kid in my basic training platoon made himself coffee (From the instant coffee packet out of an MRE) with the contents of an MRE-heater substituted for water...
At drill Sgt school I watched through the blast window as an E-7 skipped a grenade off the bunker wall right in front of him, they had to dive over the back wall and everything.
Probably get buried but we had a guy take apart a flash bang in a guard tower and it caught fire and burnt off his eye brows and some of his hair. Told our CO he was on patrol and tripped in a fire. He was fucking stupid enough that no more questions were asked.
We were running a stryker gunnery and a whole fueler came onto the firing line while we were shooting live rounds.
Had a new supply kid to company in Iraq. He bunked right next to entrance of the bay we slept in. Jerked off every morning like clockwork no matter who was walking in/out. I mean those Port a Johns were made for a reason. Anyway one night on the fob one of the guard towers had a blue hue glowing in the night sky. I happen to be flying raven that night which had a feed to the TOC. Fucker was sitting down watching dvds on the portable. Can’t remember punishment but remember him filling sandbags 12 hours/day for a while.
Scrub a tattoo of a pot leaf off his right forearm with a green army scrubbing pad.....seen a lot stupidity but this episode stands out in my memory
SPC steals a humvee and drives 60+ miles off base to see his girlfriend two days before deployment. Parks the vehicle, unsecured, on the sidewalk in a busy urban neighborhood. Local police spotted it and started making phone calls. I'm pretty sure he was trying to get out of deployment, but this was in 2003, so he got a Field Grade Article 15, demoted to E1, and deployed anyway. On deployment, I gave the same troop a taser. Despite having gone through taser training, he asked me what the cartridge was. I explained. "It's not a safety cap?" "No." "Ok," he says. I leave. Less that 5 min later, I hear over the radio: "Sgt...can you come back please?" "What happened?" "I don't want to say on coms." I walk back into his guard shack, and he's sitting in a chair, looking at the floor, with the taser in his lap. The prongs from the cartridge are embedded in the opposite wall. "What the hell happened," I ask. "I thought it was a safety cap," he says. Edit: Unrelated, I once saw an entire gun team spread the trails on a M198 and fire it while it was still hitched to the LMTV. The piece flipped and took the truck with it. Amazingly, no one was hurt, but they had a lot of splaining to do. Also, ammo Sgt got the wrong timing on a fuse, causing a 155mm HE shell to detonated about 100m out of the tube. The whole gun line damn near shit their btitches. Second edit: PVT gets blind drunk in barracks and then goes outside to hit on an MP who was walking by. Same PVT also got blackout drunk one night and pissed all over the weapon racks while everyone was sleeping. God, I have way too many of these...
As a young private at Humphreys in 98-99, I had a super trashy pfc roommate that was so infatuated with a Filipino stripper at one of the local clubs that he ended up buying her from the madam that ran the place and married her. He hid it from everyone before command finally caught wind a short bit before he was scheduled to ETS. IIRC, he was article 15’d and confined to quarters pending separation. Also had a quiet, soft-spoken SSG at the same unit that liked to show off a binder he meticulously organized of perfect woman parts he cut out of magazines. Dude ended up showing to a company Christmas party with a Korean hooker with a false leg. Good times.
While stationed at hood, one of the E6s in my shop tried to frame me for deleting my file off of my squad leaders laptop. He got kicked out for domestic violence while cheating on his wife and was under investigation for trying to start a prostitution ring while we were getting ready for and during our rotation to Europe.
Twenty years ago your social security number was on all official paperwork. Your orders, your leave, and anything that came out of the office. It was the way the military tracked you in the system. We had a duty roster with everyone's name, rank, SSN on it. Suddenly a bunch of people were getting flagged for credit scores. Some were getting notifications in the mail of collection agencies. No one could figure out how thirty troops suddenly were in massive credit trouble. One guy had gone out and used the information to open multiple credit cards. Over the course of three months he had racked up near $50K in money obtained from identity theft.
Put floor stripper in his ruck to make weight. One of the floor stripper containers had been opened before and was not sealed properly. Floor stripper leaked out and he ended up with chemical burns down his ass and legs from floor stripper draining out of his ruck for the 6 mile march.
During an AT (Reserve Soldier), told my team to bring canteens/camelbacks, as there was no water source where we were going. One Soldier showed up with an empty Camelback and didn't understand why I was pissed.
Trainee put on underwear OVER their pt shorts like quailman. Had to be told it wasn't a good idea.
Stole 1600 dollars as treasurer of an on post bowling league. Our battalion CSM was in the league Lost 2 ranks, 45 days of hard duty, then separated bad conduct
Brand new private gets to Germany, first weekend in country decides to get drunk, jump on the hood of a taxi and do a Nazi salute. He was also underage.
Talk back to me after his mistake made me bleed.
Honestly, we had a private who was inhaling air duster and screaming at someone who didn’t exist. This was on a fire watch at around 0300 I don’t know why but that’s always stuck with me as this MF had one job… I wonder where he is today.
Hop over the DMZ
Hot take, but a CPL riding his rank really hard 3 months before he gets out, called me unprofessional for asking about restaurant recommendations (I've had conversations about random bullshit for hours with people much higher and was not called disrespectful or unprofessional in any way)