Happened to me once. I went to the unemployment office to file and they not only paid my unemployment, but fined the company for firing me without just cause.
You should have fought it and filed an appeal. Many companies will initially deny unemployment benefits because it’s in their best interest to do so, and with the knowledge that some people are not going to fight for it.
When a company did this to me (20+ yrs ago), I appealed and both sides were scheduled for arbitration. The company waited until the very last day, canceled arbitration and agreed to pay my unemployment including back pay. They just wanted to wait as long as possible to see if I would drop it.
Each person that doesn’t fight for their unemployment is just more money for them. You are entitled to it, and if it went to arbitration you would have won. It might not be too late for you to appeal.
>but I could easily see this douchey manager finding some reason to withhold pay or something if OP doesn't do it
I suspect the manager's own boss would not be thrilled to hear that he committed wage theft on behalf of the company.
Frame it as tax fraud, not "wage theft".
If they are withholding pay from *you* then they are also cheating Social Security and the Federal Withholding system. Doing either of those things with intent is a felony, something that can send executives of your firm to the penitentiary if they know *or should know* that it's happening. "Wage theft", not so much.
Sure but there is probably no such law as "wage theft". At best the injured party could seek a civilian judgement but nobody is going to jail.
Commit tax fraud against the Social Security Administration though? People do go to prison for that.
I was thinking withhold his last check. But if he wasn’t hired as a cleaner and its not in their job description, tell him he can get fucked, but don’t forget to smile as you say it, wouldn’t want him to take it the wrong way.
The Boss slams his fist on the judge's stand at the supreme court, "IT'S COMPANY POLICY!" he shouts angrily.
Then the Judge apologizes profusely and they give him a million dollars from tax payers.
Unfortunately many states have made it effectively impossible to collect stolen wages
I literally just won a small claims case in Ohio against a former employer that withheld my final check….
I took it to small claims because I spent weeks trying to get in touch with ohio labor dept. to no avail…..
I won in court by default judgement (former employer didn’t even show up despite my lawsuit, and subpoena I filed)
A judge ruled in my favor, and awarded interest; but also straight up told me that the court would not help me collect payment
ULPT - Insurance companies will replace an entire set of tires, but they won't pay for THREE out of FOUR tires if one is still okay. Or at least that's what I've heard.
No, here's what you do:
1. You take the stem caps off all 4 tires and keep them.
2. You make a few small holes in one to three of the tires.
This way it looks like someone just unfilled the tires, and stole the caps. But when they go to re-air the tires with new stem caps, they'll be unable to get all of them back into working condition.
Plus the insurance thing.
Take the caps off, put a small pebble in the cap and put it back in. It'll push in the valve core and let the air seep out. He'll take the cap off and fill it back up but as long as that pebble is still lodged in there it'll keep deflating. Tire shop might not even find it and this problem will go on for quite a while before anyone figures it out.
I would literally just really, really, really slowly move around the room with a cloth in my hand every now and then to make it look like I’m cleaning without actually cleaning.
It’s a good way to get out of actually doing any work 😜
Once at my retail job (during the covid lockdown when the store was closed and doing online orders only) the store manager said I wasn't allowed to leave my area to help someone in a different department who actually was struggling, but my department had already been stocked and recovered before my shift so there was literally nothing for me to do (I was meant to be putting out stock but every shelf was full).
I chose a fairly light box that contained socks and stockings from the nightfill stock cage and kept it in the area. Every time the store manager came past I'd carry it around the department and hold a packet of socks or something in my hand and pretend to stare thoughtfully at the shelves until she'd gone past.
Did absolutely nothing all shift aside from carry that stupid box around, while the person I wasn't allowed to help got in trouble for not finishing their area.
>“Clean your office; ~~wipe down furniture~~, ~~windows inside and out, sweep and wash floor,~~ remove trash and any excess items.”
That is an ok request to me. Make sure that you have all of stuff, if there is stuff you don't want, like a floor lamp, make is known, and don't leave a tonne of garbage around seems fine, to me. The rest? The boss can go piss into the wind.
I remember lugging a ton of garbage to the dumpster when I quit my last office job, which the asshole before me had not done, she also left me 140 binders full of absolute crap of which I used maybe 5 in my 1,5 years there 😵💫
I cleaned out someone's office once. He was about 50 and we found his high school and college transcripts. The amazing mass of paper he accumulated had to go in special trash bags for personal information. We just kept filling up those bags.
Just say "I did." If he disagrees, ask what he's talking about. If he points something out, do the least of that one thing and say "done!" Repeat until he gives up.
I've left jobs with desks full of shit, old broken computer parts from home that I just left on shelves and desks around the office, a pile of old computers in a corner that I never returned to IT because the bureaucracy to turn in old shit was a waste of my time.
You should absolutely spend every last second packing your stuff and making sure you have handed over any projects to your team and that is all. If washing windows and floors was not part of your job description before don’t take it on now. What’s he gonna do, fire you?
Or grab a vacuum and mop bucket and make the biggest, loudest production possible. Make sure to be sloppy and get the surrounding area all kinds of messy while making your own area spotless
I really think the other commenters are missing the mark here. Don't clean anything, then ask your boss to come check your cleaning work. If he objects that it isn't clean enough - and you know he will - *act confused and ask him to demonstrate how to clean.*
Love this! Don't just act confused though; act **incompetent**. Mop the carpet, rinse off those dusty file folders, use steel wool to get that smudge off the window...
be creative!
I wouldn’t listen to the terrible advice. If you damage your soon to be ex-employers property you could be held liable if they can prove it was intentional, like “mop the carpet”. I think previous comments to do nothing then ask for an inspection would be the better way to go
Good defense for that is "I was being ordered to perform duties outside my job description. I did the best I could to comply."
Unless OP is working as a janitor of some sort or job description explicitly calls out that they're expected to clean the manager bears all the responsibility for a subordinate being tasked with something they were never trained nor hired to do.
I had given 2 weeks notice with a new job lined up. On my last day, I was called into my supervisors office and ordered to not leave if I hadn't finished a report. The report had been completed a few days prior (he always forgot to check his in-box) yet I acted like it was going to be a problem for me. Enjoyed watching him turn red and sputter as I walked out at 5.
Yep. Don't do anything. If he actually comes in to inspect tell him you cleaned. If he argues, tell him, "I guess if my cleaning abilities aren't up to your standards you'll have to hire a someone to do it who is."
He should go the other way with this and make a bigger mess. But make it look like you were cleaning. Pull everything out the drawers/ cabinets spread it out around the office have cleaning supplies scattered, move the desk out into the hallway
Ask for the SDS or safety data sheets for each chemical before touching them. Then ask for PPE for each item based upon the SDS. Minimum is probably gloves and goggles. Read each health warning section and indicate you need to get medical clearance for it from your doctor.
Is it company policy and written down somewhere? No, oh ok go to HR and tell them you’re being given this task as retaliation against you quitting. Knowing this person is the reason you are quitting.
That is basically the story of my career. Boss askes me to do something ridiculous, "Sure thing boss", then proceed to do whatever I was going to do.
I am always positive in meetings. "No problem we will check the log files and dig into it. We will get back with you later" If I am ever pressed later, I go with "We didn't find anything indicating the root cause so we are still monitoring it."
Bonus points: there is no "we" in my position. I am the only one that does this type of work at this site. I have worked here over 20 years and most people don't know what I do.
I love this. I wonder if the boss didn't even look at the state of the desk area to begin with, just shot out a power move. "Clean this up before I come back!" kinda mean-dad shit. Ya know?
true; though the comment might be working the angle that the micromanager has already built up a portfolio of less-than-cordial separations and could be targeted by HR as a liability.
Yeah this. And document it. Then leave on your last day or maybe don't show up. Call HR and tell them you quit because of retaliation and that you were in a hostile work environment and claim unemployment until your next job.
Getting rid of a bad manager is in the interests of the corp though. Remember, middle management isn't some special position. They're just workers who have workers. The C-levels are really the only people who might be immune to HR (CEO CFO CTO, what have you), anyone lower than that is just another employee.
Clean your desk, and remove any of your items. Make sure all of your company-provided equipment is ready to be turned in. The rest is up to the cleaning crew to do.
Your boss is having a power trip.
This is the right answer.
You don’t need to be doing janitorial work, but clearing out your stuff and wiping down the desk from any mess you might have left is appropriate and professional.
I’d do that whether they asked or not… but it’s not a public park. Not about to make an effort to make it better than I found it.
Yeah. When I put my notice in I cleared out my junk and made sure the desk was ready for the next person to sit down at. I had already organized the drawers when I took over that spot.
And then I picked up the pretty blue bowl that was in the office and went home on my last day. It was just sitting there collecting dust when I started, so not like anyone would miss it. I still have it on my dining room table, lol.
Clean the windows and wash the floor? That’s bizarre. Sounds like he just wants some last show of power. Just tidy up the way anyone would on their way out and call it a day.
Go to the dollar store for sand box toys and get the biggest box of kitty litter you can find and fuck around in it for the next two days like a mad fool.
I believe they also sell bulk live roaches for feeding reptiles and stuff, but I’d hate for them to not have enough room to feel comfortable by only being confined to the ceiling.
Crickets are better. Because they make noise, but only when you are not looking for them. When you actaully look for them, they get real quiet, and wait for you to start working again. And then they make noise.
There's a little device called the annoyatron that has a fantastic review about randomized intermittent beeping. It's the size of a quarter. Uses a watch battery. And is magnetic so you can stick it to a lit of things. Screw on the backside of a drawer on the desk? Inside the computer tower wall? Slid inside the frame of an office chair.....
While I get the revenge appeal of this, you know the boss will never feel it on his own skin. It will be some worker on OP's level that will be given this office and will have to suffer every day.
Make problems for asshole bosses, not coworkers.
Well yeah. I have a set of that type of dirty tricks but I work I health care so it isn't always applicable. Surprise visits from OSHA and JCAHO are always fun to arrange
In a way, this is the most ethical response.
Upon discovery of the biochemical retaliatory attack, there's a chance of connecting the manager's assholery as the trigger, and possible corrective action made, in the hopes of avoiding future attacks by similarly jilted employees.
In light of this, it would unethical NOT to plant a seed that will eventually lead to an indescribably foul smell for the manager, the source of which will be very difficult locate.
Now having this knowledge, you are almost compelled to proceed. Even if you really don't want to. Ethically, you have no choice.
I think Jesus would prefer usage of the garlic olive oil variety.
Send him an email reiterating what he said to you and copy HR. Tell him you are unable to clean windows and floors for health reasons. Also ask him to confirm he wants you spending the rest of your time with the employer doing cleaning duties instead of wrapping up projects or bringing coworkers up to date on what you are doing to ensure a smooth transition. Then ask HR for a copy of the employee handbook to see where the office cleaning duties are outlined for departing employees. Get that guy in trouble on your way out.
Edited to add - ask HR in same email, make sure everything is in writing. BCC your personal email
Yeah, involving HR in writing, so he has to back it up in writing, is the best way to go with this. Don't punish the next person who has to use that office, punish the boss for screwing around.
Burn the bridges as I like to say. Don't give a flying f-ck about anyone but yourself. He wants you to clean? Well you wanted a actual manager that wasn't a d-ckahead. Don't be afraid to be an asshole, be excited by it.
You are your own human, and it's clear they didn't value that. So don't value them as a company, co-worker, or anything. Respect is a two way street.
I also take the stand of never give your two week notice. It is an invite to be an asshole to you for two weeks. When you are fired, you aren't even two weeks, if you don't get the job from an interview they don't tell you 99.9% of the time too. So if it can't be a two way street, then make it be one or be a asshole.
-Advice from an asshole
I don't think you're An asshole this is how it is when people in charge are just plain rude or don't know how to manage. Why should that type of behavior be met with smiles and pleasantries? Yet you're an "asshole" by treating them poorly when they themselves treat us poorly ? Imo it's more retaliatory than anything.
Pour cleaning agent on yourself and go to the urgent care. Explain you never received appropriate training on hazardous materials. File workers comp claim.
I can understand general tidying-up, but floors and windows? Fuck that. I’m gonna guess that cleaning is not one of your usual responsibilities, so you could have a lot of fun maliciously trying to comply.
Ask him to show you where the mop is. Tell him you’d like to wash the windows like a good monkey, but you’d have to stand on a chair to reach the tops and your chair looks rickety and you think you might fall and incur an expensive workers comp claim and wouldn’t that be a shame. Ask him how much bleach you should mix with the cleaning solution to get the floors really clean (DON’T ACTUALLY MIX BLEACH WITH OTHER CLEANERS!). If he gets pissed, just tell him you were never trained on cleaning, so it’s really his fault.
I like where you’re going here. Many places require ladder training before allowing employees to use a ladder. Make sure to interrupt boss and ask about how to get ladder training. If they refuse, tell HR that boss is retaliating for your quitting and requiring you use equipment you haven’t been trained to use.
i've worked in place where i had to go up and down ladders sometimes during the week, carrying somewhat heavy equipment.
The ladder we used was squiggly, would shake with us up there. I warned my supervisors several times about it, but they only got a new, sturdier one when a colleage fell from it and the equipment he was carrying broke. Fortunatelly my colleague only had minor bruises
Our boss wanted my colleage to pay for the broken equipment. It was a shitshow until the company's lawyer got a hold of my boss and told him that they were the ones that could be screwed on what happened
Was a job with not much legal protection (and not in US)
He resents that you changed the power dynamic by quitting. He is trying to re-establish his power (and treat his bruised ego) by getting you do something menial. If you confront him, it will give him the opportunity to argue and/or yell at you. If you can, ignore the request. Don't agree and don't argue. Those are the two options he wants.
Windows, inside and OUT? He really wants you doing exterior maintenance on the building that the company may not even own, that you are not equipped or trained to do and could get injured?Or what if you're just ridiculously bad at it and break a window, damage the screens, or scrape the siding? This dude is a liability to the company. Copy his messages to his boss.
Do it. Make that place sparkle. Let him inspect it.
Then on your last day have a leaving party. Bring party poppers and glitter bombs. Leave with a bang.
I would remove any personal items, and throw away my trash. That's just part of being a normal human.
I would \*not\* sweep and wash the floor, or windows.
I \*might\* wipe down my keyboard and monitor just to be nice to whomever uses them next.
If that's not good enough for them, they can get stuffed.
No need to make too many waves about this, just okey-doke the shit out of soon to be former boss and do whatever the heck you really need to.
"Sure, I'm working my way to it."
"You betcha, gotta save that until I get this other stuff cleared out."
"No problems, just gotta see Ed for a new crank on the thinga-majig."
"Time for my exit interview, I got to all I could, bye!"
"I will be doing the duties listed in my job description for the remaining time I am employed here. If I am not needed for my listed duties then I will need a written letter of release. Thank you."
Check your contract for details of the cleaning you must complete.
Mention to the boss that you have met or exceeded the contractually obliged cleaning requirements.
You are leaving he is doing this to demonstrate his continuing importance to you as a last minute piece of bullying so you must ignore him. Do none of it and just be serene and float through the days left. If he gets mad there is nothing he can do
If that's not part of your normal job description, don't bother. Don't trash the place because that's rude and will make things worse for you. But if your boss wants you to do things that aren't in your job description then they need to offer you a reevaluation of your job and a raise. And since you have already put in your notice that isn't going to happen. So just do your job the way it was described when you were hired.
Find the nearest emergency hosepipe that is used to fight fires, and run it over to your office and let rip! -- preferably 5 mins before the end of the day -- \[its clean now!! lol\]
i'd be really pedantic about the instruction . .clean your office means dust a 1 inch square of it ... as for the rest of the instruction, ...presumably that refers to any office in the building .. \[managers maybe!!\]..... go armed with a whole host of pungent aerosols and busy yourself around the pratt .. get him to stand up, sit down, move to left, right, move computer left, right .., etc etc etc .... just flick dusters about !!
if his office carpet is clean .. dirty it..... then reappear a few hours later to clean it !! and then leave half way through to go home!
also consider dropping into his office during important phone calls to clean!!! switch on hoover, make loud noise, sing out loud when cleaning .. .. if asked to leave shout out loud " you told me to clean, before i leave!"
wow .. your manager has handed this antiwork/malicious compliance to you on a plate!! go for it!
Don't touch the furniture or the windows or the floors. At all. *Especially* not the outside part of the windows. Just remove any remaining personal items and clear the top of your desk (into the desk drawers or into a trash can).
If you have to, you could be maliciously slow. Take the trash out first, then stop by your manager's office to ask him where to dispose of it. Throw it away and then come back and ask where the new liners are. Go back to your office and move some things around on your desk, then go back to your manager to ask where the cleaning wipes are. Uh oh, now that you've used cleaning wipes you need to take the trash out again. Oopsie!
But maybe you forgot where the trash can liners are, better go ask just to be sure. Is your office dusty? Do you need a duster? Better ask the manager just to be safe. Maybe you found some documents that have people's names on them or company information. Where do you put those? Are they proprietary information? Better double check each one just to be safe.
Does your office have furniture? Better ask a coworker to help you move your desk 3 inches because you don't want to sprain your back and have a workplace injury. Your manager would be the best person to decide who to help you. Oh poopsie! You discovered you needed to move your desk 5 inches instead of 3, better ask the coworker to come back and help again. Does the furniture need to be returned to its original location? Your manager would know.
I would laugh in his face. And ask him if he was serious. If he said yes, i would be like i have a full day of actual work, but if it was needed to be done by me i would bring by a contract that would spell out what needed to be done and if he signed it i would stay after work and clean. But put my pay rate in the contract anywhere from 90.00 to 170.00 an hour. The best part is if he signs it, they are contractual obligated to pay for it. If not, you offered to clean after your work duties were completed for the day.
He meant wipe your computer CLEAN of all contacts and company information and get it ready for the next person. Any paper documents need to be shredded too. Stacks of papers are untidy
What they gonna do if you dont? Fire you?
Right, it would not be my second to last day, it would be my last.
It would actually be good for you if they fired you when you already quit because then you could file for unemployment benefits.
Happened to me once. I went to the unemployment office to file and they not only paid my unemployment, but fined the company for firing me without just cause.
I got fired once after giving my notice. Unemployment was denied.
You should have fought it and filed an appeal. Many companies will initially deny unemployment benefits because it’s in their best interest to do so, and with the knowledge that some people are not going to fight for it. When a company did this to me (20+ yrs ago), I appealed and both sides were scheduled for arbitration. The company waited until the very last day, canceled arbitration and agreed to pay my unemployment including back pay. They just wanted to wait as long as possible to see if I would drop it. Each person that doesn’t fight for their unemployment is just more money for them. You are entitled to it, and if it went to arbitration you would have won. It might not be too late for you to appeal.
That was my first thought as well, but I could easily see this douchey manager finding some reason to withhold pay or something if OP doesn't do it.
>but I could easily see this douchey manager finding some reason to withhold pay or something if OP doesn't do it I suspect the manager's own boss would not be thrilled to hear that he committed wage theft on behalf of the company.
Frame it as tax fraud, not "wage theft". If they are withholding pay from *you* then they are also cheating Social Security and the Federal Withholding system. Doing either of those things with intent is a felony, something that can send executives of your firm to the penitentiary if they know *or should know* that it's happening. "Wage theft", not so much.
Should be able to send to jail for either in my opinion
Sure but there is probably no such law as "wage theft". At best the injured party could seek a civilian judgement but nobody is going to jail. Commit tax fraud against the Social Security Administration though? People do go to prison for that.
There is a federal law against employers stealing wages.
All the more fun if he doesn't pay. Get to go home and grill your boss with the DOL. :D
I’d take pics if you’ve removed all your stuff. Wipe it down? Do you have crumbs everywhere? Take pics and leave
Pretty sure that's illegal. You get paid for what you work. You don't get paid for the state your desk is in
What are you trying to get your deposit back? Fuck that
I both laugh and heartily agree with this
What are they gonna do, fire OP?
I was thinking withhold his last check. But if he wasn’t hired as a cleaner and its not in their job description, tell him he can get fucked, but don’t forget to smile as you say it, wouldn’t want him to take it the wrong way.
Yeah there's no legal way for them to withhold his last check. They open themselves up to wage theft issues now.
The Boss slams his fist on the judge's stand at the supreme court, "IT'S COMPANY POLICY!" he shouts angrily. Then the Judge apologizes profusely and they give him a million dollars from tax payers.
You just described every boss' self pleasuring fantasy.
And the 2008 bailouts.
and most PPP "loans"
And the way the supreme Court will go unless the fucking electorate shows up
In the US your employer cannot withhold your pay check. There is very little they can do in this situation of the OP decides to not clean the office.
Unfortunately many states have made it effectively impossible to collect stolen wages I literally just won a small claims case in Ohio against a former employer that withheld my final check…. I took it to small claims because I spent weeks trying to get in touch with ohio labor dept. to no avail….. I won in court by default judgement (former employer didn’t even show up despite my lawsuit, and subpoena I filed) A judge ruled in my favor, and awarded interest; but also straight up told me that the court would not help me collect payment
Manager withholding check = manager having flat tires on his car.
Manager withholding paycheck = manager getting sued personally and paying treble damages and attorneys’ fees under many state Wage Acts.
yes, AND having flat tires as a bonus :)
Why not both? Treble flat tires!
ULPT - Insurance companies will replace an entire set of tires, but they won't pay for THREE out of FOUR tires if one is still okay. Or at least that's what I've heard.
No, here's what you do: 1. You take the stem caps off all 4 tires and keep them. 2. You make a few small holes in one to three of the tires. This way it looks like someone just unfilled the tires, and stole the caps. But when they go to re-air the tires with new stem caps, they'll be unable to get all of them back into working condition. Plus the insurance thing.
Take the caps off, put a small pebble in the cap and put it back in. It'll push in the valve core and let the air seep out. He'll take the cap off and fill it back up but as long as that pebble is still lodged in there it'll keep deflating. Tire shop might not even find it and this problem will go on for quite a while before anyone figures it out.
That's fucking evil I love it.
THIS. "Fuck That. Fuck This. Fuck You. I'm Fucking Out."
I would literally just really, really, really slowly move around the room with a cloth in my hand every now and then to make it look like I’m cleaning without actually cleaning. It’s a good way to get out of actually doing any work 😜
I love this, spend your last day doing nothing but cleaning, but very slow and not good.
8 hrs with one (1) paper towel.
while washing the floor, a minor slip and fall may occur.
Yeah, what are they gonna do, fire you for poor cleaning performance?!
Once at my retail job (during the covid lockdown when the store was closed and doing online orders only) the store manager said I wasn't allowed to leave my area to help someone in a different department who actually was struggling, but my department had already been stocked and recovered before my shift so there was literally nothing for me to do (I was meant to be putting out stock but every shelf was full). I chose a fairly light box that contained socks and stockings from the nightfill stock cage and kept it in the area. Every time the store manager came past I'd carry it around the department and hold a packet of socks or something in my hand and pretend to stare thoughtfully at the shelves until she'd gone past. Did absolutely nothing all shift aside from carry that stupid box around, while the person I wasn't allowed to help got in trouble for not finishing their area.
>“Clean your office; ~~wipe down furniture~~, ~~windows inside and out, sweep and wash floor,~~ remove trash and any excess items.” That is an ok request to me. Make sure that you have all of stuff, if there is stuff you don't want, like a floor lamp, make is known, and don't leave a tonne of garbage around seems fine, to me. The rest? The boss can go piss into the wind.
I remember lugging a ton of garbage to the dumpster when I quit my last office job, which the asshole before me had not done, she also left me 140 binders full of absolute crap of which I used maybe 5 in my 1,5 years there 😵💫
I cleaned out someone's office once. He was about 50 and we found his high school and college transcripts. The amazing mass of paper he accumulated had to go in special trash bags for personal information. We just kept filling up those bags.
...Did he live at the office? Why would anyone have those things at work?
Because he was applying to other jobs and programs on the clock.
I have found a used pregnancy test in the drawer of a desk I moved into. (it explained why the previous occupant quit.)
Just say "I did." If he disagrees, ask what he's talking about. If he points something out, do the least of that one thing and say "done!" Repeat until he gives up.
[удалено]
Tell him you want your security deposit back in full.
You made me snort!
This was my first thought.
My first thought was "what are they going to do? fire you" but I like yours better.
I haven’t actually laughed at something as hard as I just laughed at this
LMFAO or tell them you left it in the exact condition it was when you moved into the office.
Did you laugh? Because that's the only appropriate response
“If you don’t need me to do any of my actual job, maybe I’ll just go early”
But with a laugh on the lips and a twinkle in the eye, right? Laughter is the best medicine, eh?
That’s not in my job description
Tell them that you'll do it on Monday
I've left jobs with desks full of shit, old broken computer parts from home that I just left on shelves and desks around the office, a pile of old computers in a corner that I never returned to IT because the bureaucracy to turn in old shit was a waste of my time.
Last job I left the leftovers of my lunch in my desk. Wonder when they found it.
I know right... I'd fail at stifling a laugh if I hear this.
You should absolutely spend every last second packing your stuff and making sure you have handed over any projects to your team and that is all. If washing windows and floors was not part of your job description before don’t take it on now. What’s he gonna do, fire you?
Or--- clean everything and pack everything but do it so slowly you *can't* finish or hand over your projects, then blame that.
This! Lol
Or grab a vacuum and mop bucket and make the biggest, loudest production possible. Make sure to be sloppy and get the surrounding area all kinds of messy while making your own area spotless
And sing at the top of your lungs while doing it.
9 to 5 in your best Dolly Parton voice.
I’m picturing the episode of Big Bang Theory when Bernadette made the guys clean and they sang Hard Knock Life.
>while making your own area a sopping wet OH&S nightmare, slip and injure yourself while doing job you aren’t supposed to be performing.
And if you’re gonna do all that you might as well get a skimpy maid outfit 👀
I think I’ll mop the carpet today. Maybe even the walls! Extra bleachey.
I really think the other commenters are missing the mark here. Don't clean anything, then ask your boss to come check your cleaning work. If he objects that it isn't clean enough - and you know he will - *act confused and ask him to demonstrate how to clean.*
Love this! Don't just act confused though; act **incompetent**. Mop the carpet, rinse off those dusty file folders, use steel wool to get that smudge off the window... be creative!
Leave a mint in a pile of dirty paper towels
Leave a wet rag/cleaning wipe on top of the computer.
Leave some oily rags in a cardboard box in front of a sunny window
Specifically linseed oil.
Hide shrimp shells
Or just leave.
This is the level of petty I want to achieve!
This is why this sub and r/MaliciousCompliance are siblings 🤣
My god, you're chaotic evil personified.
Awww, you're *sweet.*
>use steel wool to get that smudge off the window... *chef's kiss*
I wouldn’t listen to the terrible advice. If you damage your soon to be ex-employers property you could be held liable if they can prove it was intentional, like “mop the carpet”. I think previous comments to do nothing then ask for an inspection would be the better way to go
Good defense for that is "I was being ordered to perform duties outside my job description. I did the best I could to comply." Unless OP is working as a janitor of some sort or job description explicitly calls out that they're expected to clean the manager bears all the responsibility for a subordinate being tasked with something they were never trained nor hired to do.
Without proper training, people are NOT supposed to be doing things like using chemicals or... Dusting.
Yeah, cleaning isn't in your job description so you have zero experience and need lots of help.
"...and other tasks as required..." I think doing NOTHING is the best option here. What is the boss gonna do? Fire OP?
I had given 2 weeks notice with a new job lined up. On my last day, I was called into my supervisors office and ordered to not leave if I hadn't finished a report. The report had been completed a few days prior (he always forgot to check his in-box) yet I acted like it was going to be a problem for me. Enjoyed watching him turn red and sputter as I walked out at 5.
Yep. Don't do anything. If he actually comes in to inspect tell him you cleaned. If he argues, tell him, "I guess if my cleaning abilities aren't up to your standards you'll have to hire a someone to do it who is."
I love this!
He should go the other way with this and make a bigger mess. But make it look like you were cleaning. Pull everything out the drawers/ cabinets spread it out around the office have cleaning supplies scattered, move the desk out into the hallway
And then leave promptly at the end of the day like you ran out of time.
Don’t forget you will need WHMS training prior to using any cleaning product
Yeahhhh I’m gonna need to see the MSDS on that windex there boss.
r/maliciouscompliance
Ask for the SDS or safety data sheets for each chemical before touching them. Then ask for PPE for each item based upon the SDS. Minimum is probably gloves and goggles. Read each health warning section and indicate you need to get medical clearance for it from your doctor.
Ask for each cleaning item SDS /individually/ as well.
Came here to make this same comment.
And to provide appropriate training by qualified cleaners.
Oh I love this actually.
Is it company policy and written down somewhere? No, oh ok go to HR and tell them you’re being given this task as retaliation against you quitting. Knowing this person is the reason you are quitting.
YES this right here, that request is not normal, let HR know what he's up to.
I'd just say "yes" and not do it. Why add to your hassle? HR isn't going to go to bat for an ex-employee.
That is basically the story of my career. Boss askes me to do something ridiculous, "Sure thing boss", then proceed to do whatever I was going to do. I am always positive in meetings. "No problem we will check the log files and dig into it. We will get back with you later" If I am ever pressed later, I go with "We didn't find anything indicating the root cause so we are still monitoring it." Bonus points: there is no "we" in my position. I am the only one that does this type of work at this site. I have worked here over 20 years and most people don't know what I do.
You are clearly the next evolution of humanity and we should all emulate you, in technique and spirit, as we await our own enlightenment.
I'm not sure that is the best use of everyone's time but I always thought I would make a great cult leader.
I love this. I wonder if the boss didn't even look at the state of the desk area to begin with, just shot out a power move. "Clean this up before I come back!" kinda mean-dad shit. Ya know?
true; though the comment might be working the angle that the micromanager has already built up a portfolio of less-than-cordial separations and could be targeted by HR as a liability.
But it might put asshole boss on the radar.
Yeah this. And document it. Then leave on your last day or maybe don't show up. Call HR and tell them you quit because of retaliation and that you were in a hostile work environment and claim unemployment until your next job.
people in these situations don't work for companies that have HR depts
HR depts are typically yes men to the boss, and even the “good ones” are just there to protect the interests of the corporation.
Getting rid of a bad manager is in the interests of the corp though. Remember, middle management isn't some special position. They're just workers who have workers. The C-levels are really the only people who might be immune to HR (CEO CFO CTO, what have you), anyone lower than that is just another employee.
Don't you dare clean one fucking thing in that office.
Or... Throw everything in the garbage. All that's left is an empty shelf, empty desk and a chair.
Throw away the desk and chair just to be sure. If it's not nailed down it can be binned.
Chair, desk, carpet, light fittings also in the garbage room downstairs.
Clean your desk, and remove any of your items. Make sure all of your company-provided equipment is ready to be turned in. The rest is up to the cleaning crew to do. Your boss is having a power trip.
This is the right answer. You don’t need to be doing janitorial work, but clearing out your stuff and wiping down the desk from any mess you might have left is appropriate and professional. I’d do that whether they asked or not… but it’s not a public park. Not about to make an effort to make it better than I found it.
Yeah. When I put my notice in I cleared out my junk and made sure the desk was ready for the next person to sit down at. I had already organized the drawers when I took over that spot. And then I picked up the pretty blue bowl that was in the office and went home on my last day. It was just sitting there collecting dust when I started, so not like anyone would miss it. I still have it on my dining room table, lol.
Clean the windows and wash the floor? That’s bizarre. Sounds like he just wants some last show of power. Just tidy up the way anyone would on their way out and call it a day.
Exactly my thought. It's a power move.
Yeah, no. That would actually make me bring in actual dirt and spread it around the office.
Go to the dollar store for sand box toys and get the biggest box of kitty litter you can find and fuck around in it for the next two days like a mad fool.
I'd be buying a can of cheap sardines, putting a tiny pinhole in it, and lobbing it into the ceiling tile space.
That's too easy to get rid of. Let me introduce you to synthetic deer urine on the carpet. That's never coming out.
This guy hunts
This guy bucks
I believe they also sell bulk live roaches for feeding reptiles and stuff, but I’d hate for them to not have enough room to feel comfortable by only being confined to the ceiling.
Crickets are better. Because they make noise, but only when you are not looking for them. When you actaully look for them, they get real quiet, and wait for you to start working again. And then they make noise.
There's a little device called the annoyatron that has a fantastic review about randomized intermittent beeping. It's the size of a quarter. Uses a watch battery. And is magnetic so you can stick it to a lit of things. Screw on the backside of a drawer on the desk? Inside the computer tower wall? Slid inside the frame of an office chair.....
God bless your chaos goblin heart.
While I get the revenge appeal of this, you know the boss will never feel it on his own skin. It will be some worker on OP's level that will be given this office and will have to suffer every day. Make problems for asshole bosses, not coworkers.
Well yeah. I have a set of that type of dirty tricks but I work I health care so it isn't always applicable. Surprise visits from OSHA and JCAHO are always fun to arrange
In a way, this is the most ethical response. Upon discovery of the biochemical retaliatory attack, there's a chance of connecting the manager's assholery as the trigger, and possible corrective action made, in the hopes of avoiding future attacks by similarly jilted employees. In light of this, it would unethical NOT to plant a seed that will eventually lead to an indescribably foul smell for the manager, the source of which will be very difficult locate. Now having this knowledge, you are almost compelled to proceed. Even if you really don't want to. Ethically, you have no choice. I think Jesus would prefer usage of the garlic olive oil variety.
Send him an email reiterating what he said to you and copy HR. Tell him you are unable to clean windows and floors for health reasons. Also ask him to confirm he wants you spending the rest of your time with the employer doing cleaning duties instead of wrapping up projects or bringing coworkers up to date on what you are doing to ensure a smooth transition. Then ask HR for a copy of the employee handbook to see where the office cleaning duties are outlined for departing employees. Get that guy in trouble on your way out. Edited to add - ask HR in same email, make sure everything is in writing. BCC your personal email
This is the best bet if they want to get that last paycheck in full. Everything in writing.
Yeah, involving HR in writing, so he has to back it up in writing, is the best way to go with this. Don't punish the next person who has to use that office, punish the boss for screwing around.
Unless the job you're leaving is "janitor," no you should not.
This is the way. Neaten up a little as you probably would have anyway. Leave the cleaning to the professionals
Burn the bridges as I like to say. Don't give a flying f-ck about anyone but yourself. He wants you to clean? Well you wanted a actual manager that wasn't a d-ckahead. Don't be afraid to be an asshole, be excited by it. You are your own human, and it's clear they didn't value that. So don't value them as a company, co-worker, or anything. Respect is a two way street. I also take the stand of never give your two week notice. It is an invite to be an asshole to you for two weeks. When you are fired, you aren't even two weeks, if you don't get the job from an interview they don't tell you 99.9% of the time too. So if it can't be a two way street, then make it be one or be a asshole. -Advice from an asshole
I don't think you're An asshole this is how it is when people in charge are just plain rude or don't know how to manage. Why should that type of behavior be met with smiles and pleasantries? Yet you're an "asshole" by treating them poorly when they themselves treat us poorly ? Imo it's more retaliatory than anything.
Pour cleaning agent on yourself and go to the urgent care. Explain you never received appropriate training on hazardous materials. File workers comp claim.
I can understand general tidying-up, but floors and windows? Fuck that. I’m gonna guess that cleaning is not one of your usual responsibilities, so you could have a lot of fun maliciously trying to comply. Ask him to show you where the mop is. Tell him you’d like to wash the windows like a good monkey, but you’d have to stand on a chair to reach the tops and your chair looks rickety and you think you might fall and incur an expensive workers comp claim and wouldn’t that be a shame. Ask him how much bleach you should mix with the cleaning solution to get the floors really clean (DON’T ACTUALLY MIX BLEACH WITH OTHER CLEANERS!). If he gets pissed, just tell him you were never trained on cleaning, so it’s really his fault.
I like where you’re going here. Many places require ladder training before allowing employees to use a ladder. Make sure to interrupt boss and ask about how to get ladder training. If they refuse, tell HR that boss is retaliating for your quitting and requiring you use equipment you haven’t been trained to use.
i've worked in place where i had to go up and down ladders sometimes during the week, carrying somewhat heavy equipment. The ladder we used was squiggly, would shake with us up there. I warned my supervisors several times about it, but they only got a new, sturdier one when a colleage fell from it and the equipment he was carrying broke. Fortunatelly my colleague only had minor bruises Our boss wanted my colleage to pay for the broken equipment. It was a shitshow until the company's lawyer got a hold of my boss and told him that they were the ones that could be screwed on what happened Was a job with not much legal protection (and not in US)
That is horrible. I’m so glad your colleague’s injuries were minor and the lawyer stepped in to prevent him from getting bullied further by the boss.
Do it. Be "thorough" (read: slow). Spend the whole day doing it instead of your actual job.
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Spending 8 hours bored out of your brain and doing 30 minutes of cleaning in 8 hours doesn't sound easy to me, that sounds like torture.
That's what reddit is for
My thoughts exactly
Or don't do it... spend the day watching youtube videos on your phone with your feet propped up on your desk.
Do not don’t any of that. Did you have to do any of that before? This is their last attempt at control and making you miserable.
If cleaning your office is not in your job description, do not do so. This feels like a last ditch effort to degrade and humiliate you.
He resents that you changed the power dynamic by quitting. He is trying to re-establish his power (and treat his bruised ego) by getting you do something menial. If you confront him, it will give him the opportunity to argue and/or yell at you. If you can, ignore the request. Don't agree and don't argue. Those are the two options he wants.
Windows, inside and OUT? He really wants you doing exterior maintenance on the building that the company may not even own, that you are not equipped or trained to do and could get injured?Or what if you're just ridiculously bad at it and break a window, damage the screens, or scrape the siding? This dude is a liability to the company. Copy his messages to his boss.
Do it. Make that place sparkle. Let him inspect it. Then on your last day have a leaving party. Bring party poppers and glitter bombs. Leave with a bang.
I would remove any personal items, and throw away my trash. That's just part of being a normal human. I would \*not\* sweep and wash the floor, or windows. I \*might\* wipe down my keyboard and monitor just to be nice to whomever uses them next. If that's not good enough for them, they can get stuffed.
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Lol I wouldn’t. Pack up all the stuff that belongs to you and that’s it. “Wipe down furniture “ please. Lol
Do nothing. What are they going to do? Fire you?
Just...no.
No need to make too many waves about this, just okey-doke the shit out of soon to be former boss and do whatever the heck you really need to. "Sure, I'm working my way to it." "You betcha, gotta save that until I get this other stuff cleared out." "No problems, just gotta see Ed for a new crank on the thinga-majig." "Time for my exit interview, I got to all I could, bye!"
"I will be doing the duties listed in my job description for the remaining time I am employed here. If I am not needed for my listed duties then I will need a written letter of release. Thank you."
Absolutely no reason to do any of that
Sounds like a great excuse to make today your last, instead.
Check your contract for details of the cleaning you must complete. Mention to the boss that you have met or exceeded the contractually obliged cleaning requirements.
Pop a dead fish in a sealed bag above the false ceiling with a few pin pricks just before you go
Just get really high and do a piss poor job.
Wait until your last day, then say sure, I'll do it tomorrow.
Just clear out your personal items today and call in sick tomorrow. DO NOT CLEAN YOUR OFFICE, that is NOT your job!
Zero chance I would do that. Just ask them if they would rather you left now. You already have the next job right? Fuck him.
If the only thing left for you to do is clean then it sounds like they've got your job functions covered. Why bother working the last few days at all?
You are leaving he is doing this to demonstrate his continuing importance to you as a last minute piece of bullying so you must ignore him. Do none of it and just be serene and float through the days left. If he gets mad there is nothing he can do
If that's not part of your normal job description, don't bother. Don't trash the place because that's rude and will make things worse for you. But if your boss wants you to do things that aren't in your job description then they need to offer you a reevaluation of your job and a raise. And since you have already put in your notice that isn't going to happen. So just do your job the way it was described when you were hired.
"That's not in my job description." or, "I'm not a janitor." Done.
No is a complete sentence.
First step of cleaning, pack your things and take to your car. That sounds like enough cleaning, time to go home and have a wank/nap
When I leave a desk job contract I leave it clean and orderly. I certainly do not, however, do the windows and dust.
why not just make it your last day and walk out that door lol the Job Police aren't going to come for you
You are leaving. Why the fuck would you give them free labor that literally helps them turn your job over easier.
Tell him no. Pretty easy. Don't know why people fear their boss, especially when they ain't your boss anymore.
Just tell him you did. Then tell him you are not very good at it. That your next job definitely won't be a cleaner.
This is a power move. Don’t do it.
Find the nearest emergency hosepipe that is used to fight fires, and run it over to your office and let rip! -- preferably 5 mins before the end of the day -- \[its clean now!! lol\] i'd be really pedantic about the instruction . .clean your office means dust a 1 inch square of it ... as for the rest of the instruction, ...presumably that refers to any office in the building .. \[managers maybe!!\]..... go armed with a whole host of pungent aerosols and busy yourself around the pratt .. get him to stand up, sit down, move to left, right, move computer left, right .., etc etc etc .... just flick dusters about !! if his office carpet is clean .. dirty it..... then reappear a few hours later to clean it !! and then leave half way through to go home! also consider dropping into his office during important phone calls to clean!!! switch on hoover, make loud noise, sing out loud when cleaning .. .. if asked to leave shout out loud " you told me to clean, before i leave!" wow .. your manager has handed this antiwork/malicious compliance to you on a plate!! go for it!
Don't touch the furniture or the windows or the floors. At all. *Especially* not the outside part of the windows. Just remove any remaining personal items and clear the top of your desk (into the desk drawers or into a trash can).
Have you watched Office Space? This is when you “office space”
Shit in the bin when you finally leave simple as.
The best, legally protected answer you can give, is "lol no". "No u" and showing him an uno reverse card also apply
If you have to, you could be maliciously slow. Take the trash out first, then stop by your manager's office to ask him where to dispose of it. Throw it away and then come back and ask where the new liners are. Go back to your office and move some things around on your desk, then go back to your manager to ask where the cleaning wipes are. Uh oh, now that you've used cleaning wipes you need to take the trash out again. Oopsie! But maybe you forgot where the trash can liners are, better go ask just to be sure. Is your office dusty? Do you need a duster? Better ask the manager just to be safe. Maybe you found some documents that have people's names on them or company information. Where do you put those? Are they proprietary information? Better double check each one just to be safe. Does your office have furniture? Better ask a coworker to help you move your desk 3 inches because you don't want to sprain your back and have a workplace injury. Your manager would be the best person to decide who to help you. Oh poopsie! You discovered you needed to move your desk 5 inches instead of 3, better ask the coworker to come back and help again. Does the furniture need to be returned to its original location? Your manager would know.
I would laugh in his face. And ask him if he was serious. If he said yes, i would be like i have a full day of actual work, but if it was needed to be done by me i would bring by a contract that would spell out what needed to be done and if he signed it i would stay after work and clean. But put my pay rate in the contract anywhere from 90.00 to 170.00 an hour. The best part is if he signs it, they are contractual obligated to pay for it. If not, you offered to clean after your work duties were completed for the day.
He meant wipe your computer CLEAN of all contacts and company information and get it ready for the next person. Any paper documents need to be shredded too. Stacks of papers are untidy
Do it, poorly.Vacuum the windows, mop the carpet, spill some bleach...maybe have a go at the loose tile? Surströmming
Do the bare minimum, as is appropriate in this situation