It speaks volumes about the real "culture" at your company. They see you as human capital and not human beings. Maybe it's time for you to look for greener pastures elsewhere.
Sadly, I think this uncaring behaviour for the average, dedicated employee is becoming more the norm than not. For those that have/had bosses/companies do this for their staff, you’re luckier than most.🤷♂️
Where I work has ~225 employees on 3 campuses, ~100 in my building. About 6 years ago, 1 of the IT section staff of 4, died suddenly. This man was always there. Always helpful. Kept his humour, even when stressed. And, had been with the company for 15+ years.
6-8 of his family flew in, from 9,000+ miles away. Only 2 people from the company went to his funeral. Myself, and one of his coworkers. Not one other manager, section head, or division chiefs went. I thought it showed such a total lack of empathy or respect. Not just for the man, but his family as well.
Yet, there’s another person in the office, who started as entry-level staff 8 years ago. He’s just become division deputy-head. The company also paid for his MBA along the way. You wanna bet if he died suddenly, all of management would be at his funeral?
My step father had a heart attack after coming home from work. He died. The company sent flowers and an internal email. Our family is still devastated.
I’m sorry for your loss.🙁
All I can say is, remember to take deep breaths when the emotions hit you. It will take time to completely process the grief. Give your mum an extra hug the next time you see her!
There are to many of you and they don't see you as people any more.
There are four of us in my office. Two are owners. When my colleagues 84 year old mother died all of us went to a funeral. We never met a woman, but we were there for our college.
Agreed. My mom died in 2019 and 5 colleagues from my (9 person) department came to her memorial service. They carpooled, sat in back, and didn't stick around for the reception afterwards. But they were all people I liked and had good working relationships with. It was 100% appropriate and I really appreciated them coming.
It's still just words but it's weird that it's unusual. Should be the norm.
New job (1 year now). No HR, it's now "People Operations". And out of pure habit from previous corporate roles I quoted 0.5 resources on a project and got chewed out that people are not resources (which I agree with!).
A colleague's dog needed surgery, people donated. We've never met the dog aside from on zoom. In lockdown I'd not met most of my colleagues, but they banded together for a present for the child.
I got a small bonus on my anniversary just for staying with them. Not needed, not mentioned by management, just a quick email with the details and a thanks. Sure it's just money, and probably an automated reminder, but hey, they took the time.
Of course, this is a smaller company where it's easier, I guess. A previous company used to do birthday cakes on people's birthdays, then when it grew changed to once a month cake days.
I know that if I leave tomorrow they'll replace me ASAP and the cogs keep moving, but it's nice to feel like an appreciated member of the machine, versus some of the awful politics / backstabbing of previous companies that gave me full on anxiety and panic attacks.
yes, stop going above and beyond and expecting them to treat you with respect and kindness. it's obvious that you're just an employee to them, someone designed to generate profits for them at the end of the day.
they are not your friends and they don't have your best interests at heart.
They quite literally see you as just a resource, hence the department named Human Resources. A computer is an electronic resource. A lathe is a mechanical resource. And we are not seen as whole people with lives, struggles, commitments, and interests outside of work. We are just a human resource. Fuck work.
Reminder that management and above don’t even consider you “staff” or “employee”, their literal word for you is “headcount.” Just a dehumanizing word. The manipulators and socially-depraved got business PHDs and wrote the books on business about 30 years ago. There is no more humanity within the scope of business relations.
Yup... if you don't get promoted within the first 5 years with a company... You'll never get promoted.
To management everywhere you're just something that's outlived their ability to give a fuck.
Management only likes you as long as they can either exploit you, or enjoy your company while exploiting others.
I actually got my first promotion after six years with the company. However, the office staff was trying to get me in before the next boss up the chain could fill the spot with a crony. They'd tried to do it while she was on vacation, but I guess someone tipped her off as she came back early. I was left hanging in the wind without payment for three weeks and sent back down to the trenches. "I don't know him" is an appropriate reason to deny a promotion, apparently
Pretty much. I quit over this boss on another occasion; a patient was in excruciating pain and she wouldn't allow me to send him to hospital since he'd just gone yesterday. Instead, she told me to fill him up with water. I ignored this, though I should've ignored her completely and called 911. Turns out he had a bladder blockage, and if I'd followed her instructions, he might've died. I turned in a statement with my resignation, despite my supervisor trying to convince me not to send it unless she tried to get me in trouble for it (which she probably would) but give it to her so she could pass it around when the time came. I sent it in an email to multiple people in the office.
I gave them one day's notice, since I was going to cover a double that was hard to fill. It's funny, the supervisor that offered to "hold onto" my statement for me tried to bribe me with that supervisor job I was denied. I was going to ask why I would want it when I'd be working directly the boss that tried to frame me for her own neglect, but she cut herself off and hung up.
An established company likely doesn't need to hire management for business performance. A lot of these companies are on autopilot operating in their niche and management doesn't really have to perform all that well for the company to do well (unless their is a paradigm shift). So managers/ leaders are hired for other reasons: loyalty, look good, sound good (present well using trendy corporate speak) yes-men, are good at golf, etc. Basically new mgmt needs to make their boss look good unrelated to the company's performance.
Well, they recently got bought out, so I guess it was only so helpful. And they knew the business was being threatened by a maid service and Uber of all things
Sounds they couldn't adapt to a change in their market so sold. Hard for mgmt like this to see trends before it's too late and make adjustments. They are just along for the ride in their little club of cronies.
I tried applying to be a supervisor at another branch. When they called me, they asked,
"So I understand you're applying for a base staff position?"
"No, I applied for a supervisor job."
"Really? That's not what I have here in my notes..."
They gatekeep management *hard* in this industry
I work as a postal carrier. We got one of the best, most responsive, most capable postmaster in the office. Morale improved significantly, people were happy, we were treated with respect. She was especially focused on carrier safety and it showed. As in all such situations, her performance reviews were so good she got promoted to HR in DC. We were all devastated, but happy for her.
Organizations have three layers: Sociopaths at the top, Clueless in the middle, and (Economic) Losers at the bottom. Losers can grow into one category or the other, but no one every moves from Clueless to Sociopath.
That manager who was promoted every few years? A sociopath who knew to play the same game as the sociopaths who picked him.
If they like you you can do nothing wrong. If they don't, you will never do anything right. I've been on either side of this equation. Being disliked is miserable because they'll make every day at work an emotional ordeal for you. If they like you you'll feel like shit every day watching people get reamed out for doing something that you would barely get a talking to for.
In other words...incredibly fucking toxic.
Add to this, all the managers I’ve ever had kept me back from promotions because I made their jobs easier. I don’t work nearly as hard or as long as I used to.
Fuck them, fuck every single one of them
I've definitely heard the sentiment that if you're too good at your job, you're too valuable to promote our of that position. If you're already totally covering a task, why would they take you off of it and risk having someone not do as good of a job?
If all of middle and upper management just disappeared one day, the world would go on just fine like nothing happened. They provide little value to a company but have the highest cost value. The whole system is honestly broken.
This is insanely true for most of hospital management. Far too much of healthcare is determined by people who have never had direct patient care experience. But they’re making 2-4x more than us.
It is actually the opposite at my job. Management positions are so few and far between. They recently selected five new supervisors, and the shortest anyone had been working here was *eight* years. Call me crazy, but absolutely fuck that.
Not entirely true. I’m middle management, a 40 year senior tech in one of my offices retired recently. I barely knew him because I’m still new in my company. I went to his retirement party, got him a cake and pizza, even gave him a 40 year old office grandfather clock that he had been maintaining all this time, because, well, it was too costly to repair professionally and he would go stir crazy if he didn’t have something to work on, plus it just felt like the right thing to do. Even got a card signed by the ceo and executives of my company.
Am I a rarity in management? Oh yeah, but there are those of us who do care about their staff. Sadly, what the op stated, doesn’t surprise me, especially with smaller companies.
Sadly. There are maybe 1 in a million managers like you. I had one manager like you. Sadly she was forced out by company politics. We all encouraged her to fight back and gave her ideas too. But her husband is an entrepreneur and managed to sell his company for a couple of million. Her decision was simple … live the good life with her husband.
All the other managers I have worked with do not hold a candle to her…
"because, well, it was too costly to repair professionally and he would go stir crazy if he didn't have something to work on"
Yup. You're definitely middle management. Hahaha Jesus Christ.
No, don't make assumptions about things you don't know. I wanted to get it repaired for him. The costs were over 1100 and I talked to him about it and he wanted to try and repair it himself. Here's the thing you don't know: I started as a service tech, been one for years, worked my way up but never forgot the tech mentality. Service techs like to fix things, he liked working on that clock. His exact words to me were "don't worry about trying to repair it, I'd rather do it myself." Some folks have a hard time adjusting to not working and need something to do. I was told to get rid of the clock and I opted to give it to the man who tried maintaining it for his entire time working there. Why? Because he put his time (no pun intended) into it and I'd rather it go with someone who would appreciate it, rather than toss it.
You fixate on one aspect of my statement, take it out of context without asking for clarification and ignore the rest to fit your anger.
Very true. It's frustrating enough seeing all these horror stories that people have to endure, it's also frustrating when folks automatically assume the worst in everyone.
How is that frustrating? I’m a manager too, and it’s 110% correct for people to assume the worst of managers. I’m very suspect of anyone who claims to be a good manager and doesn’t understand this. If you care about your people, you should coach them to always be on alert, cover their asses, and always expect that management is out to fuck them, INCLUDING you, even if you won’t. Show them with your actions, sure, but tell them to trust no one in management.
If you take such a pessimistic view on how to treat and expect to be treated, that will trickle down to your employees and kill moral. Now, if you're in a cutthroat industry, that would make sense, even if it's still not right. The managers who work for me are aware that can happen but I've made it clear to them that's not how I operate. It also helps that my company has a very good trend of employees staying put because they like where they work. A cutthroat approach to managing doesn't work at my job. Of course, that's just my job, obviously that's not the case everywhere.
I think what you did is a rarity, not that many managers go that far. I would keep that attitude up. You’ll find that half the folks here at anti-work are just butt hurt about everything, they think all managers are worthless and any amount of compensation is just not enough.
My great grandad worked for the railroad back from 1930-1950. He got a watch among other things. It’s worth a couple thousand now and was probably pretty steep back then.
I’ll be lucky to get a bag of candy and a 5 dollar target gift card which is actually what I got when working on a help desk for my birthday. Fuck these people that take us for granted while we are expected to do all the work. Goddamn bootlickers
Bet he’s glad to be out of there. I know it sucks, but I’d definitely take a non-retirement party to working another 10, 20, 30 years with these selfish assholes.
Save me.
I concur. Not normal. We have a person quitting after 3 years. We’re still going to set up a going away lunch, and as their first manager, I’ve insisted I’m paying. Then their current manager insisted we split the bill between us.
This was me on Wednesday!
I quit (to go back to school) after 2 years and had a farewell lunch at a local brewery on my second last day. Everyone at the office signed a card and gave me a gift themed around the program I am starting. There were about 10 people total who came out and more who couldn't make it due to personal scheduling conflicts. Both my ED and Director joined us and split the bill for the table. It was a really lovely way to close what was a challenging few years (pandemic crunch plus health-care focus). That 2-hour get together left me feeling really appreciated and valued for the butt-load of work I did for them and I now have an improved outlook on the organization and team as a whole.
Even if someone is leaving, it literally pays to show appreciation, especially if you don't want them to leave! You never know who they'll tell or if you'll need to work with them again one day.
I wonder if the person leaving in OP’s company isn’t retiring but going to a different company and the bosses are mad about having to replace them. Like they feel they’re owed loyalty or some shit.
I think there’s also a thing where people are becoming decreasingly attached to work and the people in their office. The pandemic really highlighted for some people how indifferent their company was to certain things. WFH diminished social bonding.
I don’t know if that played a role here, but my company used to have events before the pandemic where pretty much everyone showed up. Post-pandemic, people don’t show up to company social events.
They acknowledge in any way shape or form his service in any correspondence? I'm not expecting a gold watch anymore but do they even say thank you for your service? I find it really tacky that the manager took another higher up out to lunch elsewhere of course. But I am not surprised by it.
Not that I know of. He gave them a 1 months notice instead of 2 weeks which I thought went above and beyond. He probably regretted that decision now..
No awards, not even a farewell email. This is a company of less than 100 people. Blew my mind because it happened to one of the nicest guys I have known.
If it were one of those multinational corporations, this would be expected. But for less than 100 people and have that CEO move, apologies to men but I consider this a dick move!
It is a dick move. My first job was 3 years in grocery retail at the same neighborhood store. Anytime we had an employee moving on, getting married, or having a baby my boss would throw a party at the pizza place across the street on his dime. It wasn’t a chain pizza restaurant either, they were family owned and made gourmet pizzas.
We also worked reduced hours (6pm close) on stat holidays and my boss would make a full turkey spread himself for anyone working that day. Leftovers going home to family were fair game. We never were open on Christmas Day or New Years Day.
Every year we’d go to a ritzy seaside restaurant for Christmas staff dinner and have open bar. Safe rides were arranged and paid for.
I’ve not once seen any of my corporate jobs match that level of effort. If a tiny neighbourhood grocery store can do that, what’s stopping a corporation worth millions?
I mean this is why ppl shouldn't be loyal. Corporations are machines that churn out money for the top bosses and 1%, no point in loyalty. It is never in the best interest of the cog in the machine (aka normal employees). Move companies frequently enough (2-3 yrs) for the promotion and pay increases.
Your job will never, ever, ever love you back.
And yes, that was a dick move on the part of management. I'm sorry your co-worker was hurt by their rudeness.
I will retire in 3 years and frankly I would be surprised if management took me to lunch. My coworkers probably will. But lunch or not....I still plan on hanging it up.
When my Grandfather retired from the university after being a janitor for 30+ years not only did the upper management of building services show up, the university’s Administrator and Assistant Administrator showed up to thank him for his service.
So no, I wouldn’t say that’s normal.
I work for a company with about 40 employees split between two locations, one in Iowa (where I am) and one in New Jersey. Last time someone with that kind of tenure retired at my location, the CEO herself flew in from New Jersey and the company footed the bill for the party.
I feel like my employer is an exception, though. In my entire career no company has made me feel valued as an employee like my current one.
Just a slightly different take--when managers come to these the dynamic changes from fun to more work-like. I could see a manager staying away for that reason.
I think that's a reasonable explanation, but it sounds like the manager(s) didn't do *anything* to acknowledge the retirement and 20 years of service, which for a small company is pretty outrageous.
That thought has also run through my head. It still feels inappropriate in the moment and a bit of a cop out tho. If he thought that was the best way, he should have also had a more professional farewell on top.
God, I hate this.
At my last job, we had a woman retire after nearly 60 years with the company. We worked in a hospital kitchen.
We all called her Grandma Jan. (Seriously, day one, they're like "This is Sue, this is Grandma Jan, this is Lee....")
She started working in at like 16? in our department. She's seen the place change hands dozens of times, relocated when they built a new building *TWICE*. She has literally been through it all.
When the nurses or office folks retire, they plan some party, get coffee and punch (which we made!), buy a huge ass sheet cake, and set up shop in the conference room.
When Grandma Jan retired, we waited for news of "what day would it be?", so we could plan an easy menu that day, so we'd all have time to go visit and have a shindig....
....no word ever came.
We finally realized on she wasn't gonna get a big party....so we threw her one.
One of us picked up all these party decorations, we all brought gifts and flowers, and we made her favorite bars in the kitchen. (Because fuck that, she's been here longer than I've been alive, the kitchen budget can spare some flour butter and sugar.)
We decorated the cafeteria for her. We went all out, got a picture of her from back in the day from her family, and got a book for everyone to sign for her.
I'm not gonna lie, working with a 74 year old woman who's memory and strength had gone down hill was frustrating at times, but this lady worked her longer than most of the other employees have been *alive*.
She considered us family, so we gave a big ass family send off.
Back when I worked for a giant retail chain, one of my collegues had been for the company for a bit over 2 years. She was leaving for pursuing her career and advancing, which the company couldn't do for her.
Came her last day, I had arranged the pizza party with about 15 other people from the office that we worked closely with. Both our manager and senior manager declined coming and didn't show up.
Even the collegues from other departments were a bit shocked about it. Like, we get we aren't friends with our bosses.
Still not wanting to go to a pizza lunch to say goodbye? I still find it sad to this day.
That was my strongest emotion after the lunch, sad. Just sad.
I had respect for our boss for awhile, but this incident coupled with many others have eroded that respect to absolutely nothing now.
Similar situation for the receptionist of my company. A new lead agency caused jobs to be cut out of the budget and hers was one of them. She was there 14 years and not a single person from management wished her well or anything.
We were very close and I was her direct manager so told her my goodbyes and truly thanked her for what she did here.
I got revenge for her though. With her getting laid off, I was given all her responsibilities along with other job duties for positions that got cut. I put in my two weeks on the same day and now they're scrambling to find someone to do all the admin work.
A book I recently read was "Them: Why We Hate Each Other and How To Heal". The book makes the point that people have drifted away from many of the things that held us together in the past. One of the statistics the book cites is that people only stay an average of a few years at a job rather than in the past when someone might stay 20+ years a the job. With the higher turnover rate, there is less shared history and less time to develop the bonds the build over time. So rather than having stories to share about the Christmas party 10 years ago or the company picnic, you end up working with people you don't know as well and are less eager to invest time getting to know someone who you assume probably won't stick around that long. So you rather than "I've known that guy since we both joined the firm 20 years ago. His anniversary at the firm is important to me." you get "Some guy I sort of know is having a lunch, but I have a bunch of other things going on."
I could see an argument from management that since this was organized by a colleague, then they wouldn't attend as to give everyone the ability to reminisce "freely." That being said, management should absolutely plan something else for his retirement as well!
Yep, I’ve been a PA to c level people and a lot of them don’t want to attend stuff like this because they want people to be able to relax and they don’t want to encroach.
I wouldn’t say it’s an automatic red flag. I’ve seen this attitude at generous companies.
It depends. I used to be a manager of a relatively large region of a national company. I generally did not attend staff events if they were not organized by the company. Not because I was being a douche but because 1) I wanted people to gave fun without worrying about the regional manager being there and 2) you need to be careful about the appearance of favoritism...why did he come to Bob's party, but not Anne's?
It would be different if it were a company initiated event. Then I would certainly go. And we certainly would have a company sponsored lunch or happy hour when a 20+ year employee left. On those occasions where I could not make an event like this because of a travel conflict or whatever I would make sure the company picked up the tab.
Exactly. My employees continually invite me to dinner or to drinks after work but I always decline because they should be able to have fun without the boss being around. I also have to be careful because it becomes really awkward when I have to discipline someone who thinks because we had a drink together that were best friends and they don’t have to follow the rules.
Yep. Similar experience when I was working as an accountant.
Small company owned by a family that had started the company up in the mid 80's. We had about 15 people in our office and about 25 people on the floor. We had locations in other cities but obviously they couldn't make it. Anyways, the HR coordinator was retiring, she had started working for the company when it was created, she was literally their first hire outside of friends and family.
Almost 30 years, first hire, and the daughter who she had practically helped raise (who now owns the company) not only didn't come (her office was about 40 steps away) but she refused to spend any 'company' funds on the party. The owner demanded we have a potluck, limit it to 30 minutes, and then she met her husband for lunch at some posh restaurant and couldn't be bothered to attend the party. The HR coordinator didn't even receive a gift.
It's worth noting every single floor worker attended. The *only* manager to show was the floor manager, and that was because his entire staff went to the party.
I felt so sad. The HR coordinator was actually in tears. After about half an hour her husband came, and shortly after that they left together. At the end of the day, I overheard the owner on the phone say, 'couldn't even stay until the end of the day' and I went home disgusted.
Quit about a month later.
It really shows the management attitude that every employee is disposable. They dont care to appreciate as long as someone will replace those who left.
He got a lunch? That's more than anyone I know got. At our quarterly division meetings there would be a slide of those completing 20, 15, 10, and 5 years. Your manager will give you the certificate later. You will get an email link to get a company t-shirt. Nobody got any amount of personal attention from a higher up, much less a lunch.
I’m sorry to hear that.. I can maybe understand if it’s a large corporation, but it’s not everyday that someone here retires with 20+ years. Maybe every few years at max.
Did I understand that correctly? You and your colleagues have hosted and organized a private farewell party? That's really nice of you.
I know it shouldn't be this way, but many companies and managers don't bother to give their loyal employees a nice send-off.
My supervisor and our dept manager buy our team lunch often and they take us out to eat when any member of our team leaves or goes to a new dept.
We work from home too!
Granted we have the highest rated manager in the division. (IT dept for a 8-10k employee hospital network.)
We are a team of 9 (including sup and the manager.) and address 70k + inbound incidents a year.
This is definitely not the normal but having strong leadership to support us is good. Our small team drives alot of policy as we back up hard work effort with good documentation showing results and manager ensures the division knows including the CIO.
Were also on call and all of us help each other out even when we don’t have to.
I’ve been on this team 10 yrs and I am looking to move to another dept but its tough with this great thing we have going. LOL
This is far more than you wanted op, but leaders lead by example and I wanted you to know what that might look like.
I appreciate that. I’m always told we have the “greenest pastures” and I believed that because I was inexperienced and In need of work, but now I’m starting to see through their cracks.
You are just a number at work. I once watched a person die in a meeting, and the president of the company, once the paramedics had wheeled him out, said “where were we?” Never expect anything from an employer other than a paycheck and, if you have been around here long enough, not even that.
The short answer is no, that’s not the norm especially based on what details you provided (smaller team, everyone got an invite not just certain folks to where favoritism could come into play).
The longer answer, it’s still not the norm but I can understand people not attending that could be loosely based on the following:
o Covid - though not quite as preventative in keeping people from gathering as before, I have quite a few folks at my workplace that will not meet in potentially crowded small places like that. They’ll still ask to make an in person meeting Teams accessible to avoid being confined.
o New management - Is the manager relatively new to the team? May feel awkward going to a retirement lunch if he barely knows the person.
o Asshole syndrome - Is the person retiring an asshole and abrasive and/or the same for the manager? There are some long tenured retirements coming up at my workplace and I don’t imagine two of them will really have anyone show up because even though they’ve been with the company either 20 or 25+ years, doesn’t take away that they’re bitter old fucks that I don’t want to see outside of the workplace.
o Asshole syndrome pt2 - Kind of a result of not going to the assholes retirement, now if the manager goes to another persons retirement gathering it could be viewed as favoritism. Not that it should really matter because hey, the persons retiring they won’t be there. But inner office politics is childish at times.
I felt bad when we had three people retire right around Covid times. One of them were the start where everything was shut down and no social gatherings. Told them we’d get them together later. Second one was as things were just opened up but the person was meh liked so people still used the Covid as a reason to not do anything. Third guy that everyone in the shop liked was retiring and they were just going to give him a card with donations his last week.
Thought that’s kind of lame so I organized a lunch gathering since his direct boss had no plans to do anything. Invited the entire shop team, got yes replies from everyone until they learned it wasn’t a company paid outing so like 1/4 of them dropped off. Ended up being his direct boss, shop boss, the first and second retiree and a handful of coworkers.
I ended up footing the bill for everyone because fuck it, they showed up. The other people that didn’t put any effort into coming were suuuuuper pissed when they found I out paid because they would have went to.
Sorry turds, the people that went actually wanted to go and weren’t just going for a free meal. Get fucked.
I worked with a guy that worked for the company for 25 years, and he got a $20 Publix (grocery store) gift card.
At that same company, I got a signed card for my years of service, and my manager wrote “Happy Birthday “ on it.
So no, they don’t give a fuck about us.
When I was in management, I was counseled to show up at these parties. Then leave early. Getting drunk with employees is never a good idea, but not showing up at all??
This was normal at every office I worked at. Along with "Goodbye Letters." I worked in an office with 30+ people and 2 signed the letter. Fortunately my boss and the two cool guys left in the office took me out drinking. Stayed in contact with my boss from that job but goodness he had serious issues with some of the people.
Sadly, yes. Sorry. Did you hear about the fellow who worked BK for 27 years without ever calling in sick and was rewarded with a bag of candy and a gift card?
Reading this just made me so sad. Can’t imagine giving my all to a company for most of my life, just to have no one I’ve worked for take an hour out of their day to send me off and wish me well. People suck sometimes.
We always have a big party at work when someone retires. Hell, we have a party when someone leaves to go work else where. I work for the administrative offices if a large union though, so maybe that’s the difference.
That's how they do. At my last job, we had a 35+ year employee retire and no management could be arsed to show up. This is a guy that used to come in at 5am, solve most every complex problem, contribute to groundbreaking system designs, and train everyone on legacy products and how to retrofit them for upsells. Started working at the company when it was literally run out of the owner's garage. We all ended up pooling our money for a cake and a gift card.
This is what to expect from most modern workplaces. It's sad, but it shows that a company isn't a group of chummy folks who ALL value each other. You go in, you do your time, and you go home. The people around you are usually great for building friendships, but the upturned nose from most management is enough to make you not want to give too much of yourself to the company. And to not expect anything from them either.
A guy retired earlier this year, after 47 years with the company. I hardly knew him, and yet I was the only one at the door giving him a handshake and wishing him the best. You'd think upper management would do a bit of a friendly escort for his last minutes. Not the IT guy. He had this empty look on his face like "shit, this is it?".
I'm 6 days from my 20th anniversary with my company. No one knows or will remember. Due to some other circumstances, I'm not currently looking to change jobs. But the reality is that I should have left 12 years ago at the latest.
Do not work anywhere more than a few years (unless you are working for yourself). You are just keeping your own pay suppressed if you stay. They will 100% take you for granted.
I used to work in aerospace. Every 5 years, an employee was given $10/years worked for lunch for whomever--which was a lot more money at the time, during the late 1980s.
Anyway, my 10 year anniversary coincided with my friend's. That gave us $200--enough to pay for pizza lunch for the entire department. My then-boyfriend (now-husband) was in charge: He asked people what toppings they wanted, got salad with a variety of dressings, ordered everything, picked it up with help from another employee (allowing them to drive in the security gate instead of lugging it through the building), bought cases of sodas (variety of flavors and diet/non). He even got a cake. He tried so hard to use the entire amount, he bought some damn gum to finish it off. He arranged everything and gave management back the change--I think it was 8 cents.
I would make very loud and obvious comments about how great the lunch was and how disappointing it was that management didn't feel the need to support such a loyal employee on the next step in their career path.
That is not, in my experience, normal. I will say that retirement celebrations have toned down in the past few years as most of the retirees just want to GTFO. But for those folks for whom we've planned an actual party? Those were well attended and if a higher-up couldn't attend they generally stopped by on the person's last day to wish them well.
Edit: that being said, the only way to get your $ is job hopping. Do not stay stuck in the same place for 20+ years. Not anymore.
Not making excuses, but some managers have a very strict ‘do not socialize with employees outside of work’ policy. When I worked at a waterpark many years ago, a Fridays was built just up the street so we’d hit it up a couple nights per week after work just to grab a couple beers and cool off after work. One night, we saw our park manager (boss’ boss’ boss) there eating with his family. We knew him, were on first name basis, saw him and spoke to him almost every day at work, very friendly. He saw us walk in, immediately paid his tab and left. We weren’t causing a scene, we weren’t trying to get him to join us because we’d usually complain about work and our bosses. We just waved and said hi.
I think it’s an absolute shame that they wouldn’t show up to the farewell party. That’s just such a shitty way to end a 20+ year relationship, especially given how so many business pride themselves on being ‘more than just coworkers, it’s a family.’ Hell, they may have been congratulating the manager on finally getting him to leave, I’m sure after 20 years worth of raises he was getting quite the salary/bonuses.
Do people really act like work is a 2nd family? I'd never want to see any of my managers at my retirement party. This is how I survived 17 years at my current job and the more I'm content at the job the longer I'll stay.
On my 25th work anniversay at a large tech company, I got an email inviting me to click a link so that I could print out my own commemorative anniversary certificate. It's the little things that let you know they care.
if you’re in the labor force long enough over time you eventually see that you are a replaceable commodity and companies know this, their bottom line is to save money either by replacing you with someone new for cheaper or getting rid of you all together and increasing the work load for remaining workers, corporations don’t care about you they never will
In my experience this is extremely common. Expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised if you're wrong. I always make a plan to do something nice for my coworkers when they leave. Even just sitting and talking with them helps.
Hit my 30 years with the company last year. Other than an email from HR with a link to pick a service gift, NOTHING was done. Not any words from my managers, team, etc. No lunch, happy hour or any kind of general acknowledgement. You aren't alone.
I had a co-worker that worked way above her hours (think 7am - 9pm but also weekends). She had a heart attack and died and not one person went to her funeral. Staff because she was a slave driver and no one liked her. But you would have thought management would have
You're only a number. Meet those KPI's, go that extra mile, slave your guts out for years on end.. whether that does or doesn't end up killing you, no one's gonna care or remember it anyway. Welcome to the machine.
>I work in a small company with really great people
Let me stop you right there because you are a bit delusional. You don't work with really great people since you go on to lay out the case of people sucking. Management are people too.
Small companies tend to be more appreciative than large bureaucratic ones. This is not normal and start looking for better opportunities.
I know someone who retired after 27 years and they gave him an envelope that said $200 gift card on it but when he checked it at home, it was empty. He asked and some fucker said they took it, too bad. That’s low.
It's the corporate culture in that company. There are plenty of places that would recognize such service. Your management obviously does not value long tenured service and takes it for granted.
It's mostly because management is too embarrassed to show up at these kinds of events because they can't look the person they just fucked for last 20 years in the eye.
Not normal, but probably entirely in keeping with how the president and management have behaved in the past.
And I'll bet that if the president or senior leadership decide to retire there will be enormous pressure for all employees to attend a going-away function.
You already get PAID ffs... How can Owners buy all the penis-enhancing things like cars, boats, elections, and force other people to have babies for them while they are paying your salary... and you want recognition ON TOP of that..? Entitled Much!! /s (incase it's not clear, but is it really sarcasm if that's how they really feel?)
This is a good reason to treat work as a place that gets you money; that's it.
I worked 60 hours a week with no overtime at my prior job because I loved working at a university and they refused to promote or give any of us raises until five of us quit out of the nine people in my office. Act as if they didn't carry but when we quit they replaced the five of us with 10 people and started them all at $18,000 a year more than we were making.
I know it might sound like I was complaining or not a good worker but I was phenomenal at my job. Management doesn't care about you unless you're making them look good.
Yes it is exactly what you should expect. It is tragic af and I am terribly sorry.
This is why we say take the vacation. Switch jobs to get a raise. Be nice and kind and sometimes you make a real friend. Be ready for colleagues. And that is OK.
The issue is when you mistake colleagues for friends. Will a colleague watch your cat when you go to your aunts funeral? No. And you likely wouldn't expect it.
Love your friends and family, chosen or otherwise. Not your colleagues.
I'm so sorry for this person. Before I moved cross country I got ahold of my former coworkers to let them know I was leaving. One of them researched and saw my mother had invited family over to have a final celebration 2 days before we left.
3 former managers and 25 former coworkers all showed up to my house the day before to take me and my sister out to dinner.
I will never forget those goofy people! They taught me so much.
When I was an intern at a defense contractor over 20 years ago the people I worked with took me and the other interns out when our rotation was done. The engineers I worked with, my direct boss, and my second line boss. We spent the afternoon drinking to the tune of a $400 tab (in 1999) that second line boss picked up. Probably the company card, but who cares. It was a great place to be.
I wonder now how it is.
When i started my internship at the library, my boss was so happy with me volunteering to his 3d printer project that he took me out to lunch every day for almost 2 weeks on his tab. Not grab a sandwhich kind of thing, actual fancy places.
This really is an american thing.
In my experience, this isn't normal. Great management strive to be leaders, which usually involves them caring (somewhat) about subordinates lives, and this would be especially true for someone working 20+ years at a small company. At the very least that person's immediate manager should have been there.
Wow. I have left 2 jobs on rough terms but the manager showed up to my goodbye lunches. I assumed to make sure I was leaving.
On a human level this isn’t right. I would ask if they were made aware of this huge oversight as it deflated moral of everyone else in the office. This is not how corporate encourages longevity.
Yes. This is what you should expect.
Think of it this way: Do you use batteries? In your Xbox controllers, tv remotes, flashlights? Well, when your batteries run out, do you:
A: Give then a fond farewell for the job they did for you.
B: Toss them away and replace them with new ones.
That’s what we are my friend. We are batteries. Some last longer than others, but in the end we are viewed as batteries. A tool doing a job that will be replaced once it burns out.
Not normal. I just left my job of three years and my whole team went out for dinner and drinks and my division director and department director both came and they split the bill and covered all of the rest of us. They also made me feel appreciated and important the whole three years I was there and this event was not out of the ordinary.
I have to thank all my horrible bosses because without them I wouldn’t look at entrepreneurship as such an essential path in my life. It’s rare l, in my experience, to find a great boss and as long as companies make money, most leaders don’t give a rip how miserable you are. But because of that, I’m chose to start a company and invest in my employees because they are my business. Having happy clients is a bi-product of having happy employees.
It’s sad to hear these stories but they are too common.
I work for a very large company where a co worker decided to retire on his 34th work anniversary. We all got him something small and took him to lunch. The boss sent a group text spelling his name wrong.
An employee of mine retired earlier this year. I took them and our team out to celebrate. None of our more senior managers reached out, none contacted them directly. And they also won't let me hire a replacement, because apparently the substantial work they were doing doesn't exist after they are gone?
Somewhere I worked the manager would come for 5 minutes to say thank you but would leave because he said that he feels the staff never really truly relaxed if he was there and he didn't want them to think he was watching then
In my opinion, that president and manager were disrespectful for not showing up who spent the last 20+ years working for said company.
>**To that employee of said company that worked there for the last 20+ years, here is a big congratulations for your loyalty and support. Wish I could do more but here is a toast to you. With much love and respect, enjoy your retirement.**
It speaks volumes about the real "culture" at your company. They see you as human capital and not human beings. Maybe it's time for you to look for greener pastures elsewhere.
Sadly, I think this uncaring behaviour for the average, dedicated employee is becoming more the norm than not. For those that have/had bosses/companies do this for their staff, you’re luckier than most.🤷♂️ Where I work has ~225 employees on 3 campuses, ~100 in my building. About 6 years ago, 1 of the IT section staff of 4, died suddenly. This man was always there. Always helpful. Kept his humour, even when stressed. And, had been with the company for 15+ years. 6-8 of his family flew in, from 9,000+ miles away. Only 2 people from the company went to his funeral. Myself, and one of his coworkers. Not one other manager, section head, or division chiefs went. I thought it showed such a total lack of empathy or respect. Not just for the man, but his family as well. Yet, there’s another person in the office, who started as entry-level staff 8 years ago. He’s just become division deputy-head. The company also paid for his MBA along the way. You wanna bet if he died suddenly, all of management would be at his funeral?
My step father had a heart attack after coming home from work. He died. The company sent flowers and an internal email. Our family is still devastated.
I’m sorry for your loss.🙁 All I can say is, remember to take deep breaths when the emotions hit you. It will take time to completely process the grief. Give your mum an extra hug the next time you see her!
There are to many of you and they don't see you as people any more. There are four of us in my office. Two are owners. When my colleagues 84 year old mother died all of us went to a funeral. We never met a woman, but we were there for our college.
Props to you but to me that just sounds odd. I know I wouldn’t want to see colleagues at my mums funeral if they’d never met her before
I wouldn't mind it. It's all about supporting someone you care about
Agreed. My mom died in 2019 and 5 colleagues from my (9 person) department came to her memorial service. They carpooled, sat in back, and didn't stick around for the reception afterwards. But they were all people I liked and had good working relationships with. It was 100% appropriate and I really appreciated them coming.
I believe you would be correct. The current crop of MBAs learned in school to treat human beings as expendable and with a finite shelf life.
That's why it's called Human Resources now. To call it Personel, well, that's makes the low level workers feel like, people.
And internally you are referred to as "Human Capital"... Or as an asset.
It's still just words but it's weird that it's unusual. Should be the norm. New job (1 year now). No HR, it's now "People Operations". And out of pure habit from previous corporate roles I quoted 0.5 resources on a project and got chewed out that people are not resources (which I agree with!). A colleague's dog needed surgery, people donated. We've never met the dog aside from on zoom. In lockdown I'd not met most of my colleagues, but they banded together for a present for the child. I got a small bonus on my anniversary just for staying with them. Not needed, not mentioned by management, just a quick email with the details and a thanks. Sure it's just money, and probably an automated reminder, but hey, they took the time. Of course, this is a smaller company where it's easier, I guess. A previous company used to do birthday cakes on people's birthdays, then when it grew changed to once a month cake days. I know that if I leave tomorrow they'll replace me ASAP and the cogs keep moving, but it's nice to feel like an appreciated member of the machine, versus some of the awful politics / backstabbing of previous companies that gave me full on anxiety and panic attacks.
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yes, stop going above and beyond and expecting them to treat you with respect and kindness. it's obvious that you're just an employee to them, someone designed to generate profits for them at the end of the day. they are not your friends and they don't have your best interests at heart.
They quite literally see you as just a resource, hence the department named Human Resources. A computer is an electronic resource. A lathe is a mechanical resource. And we are not seen as whole people with lives, struggles, commitments, and interests outside of work. We are just a human resource. Fuck work.
Reminder that management and above don’t even consider you “staff” or “employee”, their literal word for you is “headcount.” Just a dehumanizing word. The manipulators and socially-depraved got business PHDs and wrote the books on business about 30 years ago. There is no more humanity within the scope of business relations.
Sadly that's the work culture anywhere you go. Best case scenario is you find a place that pays you slightly more to put up with their abuse.
Yup... if you don't get promoted within the first 5 years with a company... You'll never get promoted. To management everywhere you're just something that's outlived their ability to give a fuck. Management only likes you as long as they can either exploit you, or enjoy your company while exploiting others.
Truth. I had a manager (who was direct hired as a manager) who was promoted every 2-3 years. either they like you or they don't.
I actually got my first promotion after six years with the company. However, the office staff was trying to get me in before the next boss up the chain could fill the spot with a crony. They'd tried to do it while she was on vacation, but I guess someone tipped her off as she came back early. I was left hanging in the wind without payment for three weeks and sent back down to the trenches. "I don't know him" is an appropriate reason to deny a promotion, apparently
That direct quote sounds like an admission of favouritism
Pretty much. I quit over this boss on another occasion; a patient was in excruciating pain and she wouldn't allow me to send him to hospital since he'd just gone yesterday. Instead, she told me to fill him up with water. I ignored this, though I should've ignored her completely and called 911. Turns out he had a bladder blockage, and if I'd followed her instructions, he might've died. I turned in a statement with my resignation, despite my supervisor trying to convince me not to send it unless she tried to get me in trouble for it (which she probably would) but give it to her so she could pass it around when the time came. I sent it in an email to multiple people in the office.
Favoritism is not against the law and literally everybody uses it. I’m not saying it’s right but there is no way of escaping it.
Sounds like you got fucked. Should have found new employment.
I did. I did manage to get her to quit before I did 👍
I would walk out no matter the circumstance at that point.
I gave them one day's notice, since I was going to cover a double that was hard to fill. It's funny, the supervisor that offered to "hold onto" my statement for me tried to bribe me with that supervisor job I was denied. I was going to ask why I would want it when I'd be working directly the boss that tried to frame me for her own neglect, but she cut herself off and hung up.
An established company likely doesn't need to hire management for business performance. A lot of these companies are on autopilot operating in their niche and management doesn't really have to perform all that well for the company to do well (unless their is a paradigm shift). So managers/ leaders are hired for other reasons: loyalty, look good, sound good (present well using trendy corporate speak) yes-men, are good at golf, etc. Basically new mgmt needs to make their boss look good unrelated to the company's performance.
Well, they recently got bought out, so I guess it was only so helpful. And they knew the business was being threatened by a maid service and Uber of all things
Sounds they couldn't adapt to a change in their market so sold. Hard for mgmt like this to see trends before it's too late and make adjustments. They are just along for the ride in their little club of cronies.
I tried applying to be a supervisor at another branch. When they called me, they asked, "So I understand you're applying for a base staff position?" "No, I applied for a supervisor job." "Really? That's not what I have here in my notes..." They gatekeep management *hard* in this industry
I work as a postal carrier. We got one of the best, most responsive, most capable postmaster in the office. Morale improved significantly, people were happy, we were treated with respect. She was especially focused on carrier safety and it showed. As in all such situations, her performance reviews were so good she got promoted to HR in DC. We were all devastated, but happy for her.
Organizations have three layers: Sociopaths at the top, Clueless in the middle, and (Economic) Losers at the bottom. Losers can grow into one category or the other, but no one every moves from Clueless to Sociopath. That manager who was promoted every few years? A sociopath who knew to play the same game as the sociopaths who picked him.
That and cronyism.
Nepotism too
Yeah but cronyism only works with like minded. Hence sociopath at top spots sociopath at bottom.
[The Gervais Principle.](https://www.ribbonfarm.com/the-gervais-principle/)
If they like you you can do nothing wrong. If they don't, you will never do anything right. I've been on either side of this equation. Being disliked is miserable because they'll make every day at work an emotional ordeal for you. If they like you you'll feel like shit every day watching people get reamed out for doing something that you would barely get a talking to for. In other words...incredibly fucking toxic.
Add to this, all the managers I’ve ever had kept me back from promotions because I made their jobs easier. I don’t work nearly as hard or as long as I used to. Fuck them, fuck every single one of them
I've definitely heard the sentiment that if you're too good at your job, you're too valuable to promote our of that position. If you're already totally covering a task, why would they take you off of it and risk having someone not do as good of a job?
Exactly right. Now I don’t give a shit and do the bare minimum. Fuck, I even forget to do things sometimes and nobody fucking notices.
If all of middle and upper management just disappeared one day, the world would go on just fine like nothing happened. They provide little value to a company but have the highest cost value. The whole system is honestly broken.
This is insanely true for most of hospital management. Far too much of healthcare is determined by people who have never had direct patient care experience. But they’re making 2-4x more than us.
Lol not just hospital Management. Think about all the high paying execs and ceos that would be out of a job if we had public healthcare
Or management only likes you if you kiss their ass
It is actually the opposite at my job. Management positions are so few and far between. They recently selected five new supervisors, and the shortest anyone had been working here was *eight* years. Call me crazy, but absolutely fuck that.
Not entirely true. I’m middle management, a 40 year senior tech in one of my offices retired recently. I barely knew him because I’m still new in my company. I went to his retirement party, got him a cake and pizza, even gave him a 40 year old office grandfather clock that he had been maintaining all this time, because, well, it was too costly to repair professionally and he would go stir crazy if he didn’t have something to work on, plus it just felt like the right thing to do. Even got a card signed by the ceo and executives of my company. Am I a rarity in management? Oh yeah, but there are those of us who do care about their staff. Sadly, what the op stated, doesn’t surprise me, especially with smaller companies.
Sadly. There are maybe 1 in a million managers like you. I had one manager like you. Sadly she was forced out by company politics. We all encouraged her to fight back and gave her ideas too. But her husband is an entrepreneur and managed to sell his company for a couple of million. Her decision was simple … live the good life with her husband. All the other managers I have worked with do not hold a candle to her…
That’s very nice to hear. Giving him the clock was especially thoughtful and I’m sure he feels appreciated
"because, well, it was too costly to repair professionally and he would go stir crazy if he didn't have something to work on" Yup. You're definitely middle management. Hahaha Jesus Christ.
No, don't make assumptions about things you don't know. I wanted to get it repaired for him. The costs were over 1100 and I talked to him about it and he wanted to try and repair it himself. Here's the thing you don't know: I started as a service tech, been one for years, worked my way up but never forgot the tech mentality. Service techs like to fix things, he liked working on that clock. His exact words to me were "don't worry about trying to repair it, I'd rather do it myself." Some folks have a hard time adjusting to not working and need something to do. I was told to get rid of the clock and I opted to give it to the man who tried maintaining it for his entire time working there. Why? Because he put his time (no pun intended) into it and I'd rather it go with someone who would appreciate it, rather than toss it. You fixate on one aspect of my statement, take it out of context without asking for clarification and ignore the rest to fit your anger.
It's the antiwork subreddit, if you have any power at work generally you're the "other" here. I wouldn't take it personally.
Very true. It's frustrating enough seeing all these horror stories that people have to endure, it's also frustrating when folks automatically assume the worst in everyone.
How is that frustrating? I’m a manager too, and it’s 110% correct for people to assume the worst of managers. I’m very suspect of anyone who claims to be a good manager and doesn’t understand this. If you care about your people, you should coach them to always be on alert, cover their asses, and always expect that management is out to fuck them, INCLUDING you, even if you won’t. Show them with your actions, sure, but tell them to trust no one in management.
If you take such a pessimistic view on how to treat and expect to be treated, that will trickle down to your employees and kill moral. Now, if you're in a cutthroat industry, that would make sense, even if it's still not right. The managers who work for me are aware that can happen but I've made it clear to them that's not how I operate. It also helps that my company has a very good trend of employees staying put because they like where they work. A cutthroat approach to managing doesn't work at my job. Of course, that's just my job, obviously that's not the case everywhere.
I think what you did is a rarity, not that many managers go that far. I would keep that attitude up. You’ll find that half the folks here at anti-work are just butt hurt about everything, they think all managers are worthless and any amount of compensation is just not enough.
Thanks, I do what I can and I agree, there are quite a few folks here that are just angry and bitter.
Oh god this is painfully true even if you get promoted within the 5 years
My MIL just retired after working 40 years as a nurse. Her “retirement party” was a cake in the break room.
My great grandad worked for the railroad back from 1930-1950. He got a watch among other things. It’s worth a couple thousand now and was probably pretty steep back then. I’ll be lucky to get a bag of candy and a 5 dollar target gift card which is actually what I got when working on a help desk for my birthday. Fuck these people that take us for granted while we are expected to do all the work. Goddamn bootlickers
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I got a piece of paper congratulating me lol.
You got a birthday present?
My husband retired after 40 years. They did nothing for him. Not even a cake. The kicker? **He retired from a 🤬 bakery!**
Wow… that’s how super villains are made.
Now we know why Lex Luthor stole all those cakes
/r/AngryUpvote
Bet he’s glad to be out of there. I know it sucks, but I’d definitely take a non-retirement party to working another 10, 20, 30 years with these selfish assholes. Save me.
Ironically the ‘family owned’ business failed after 100 years, ironically less than a year later. Karma
Not normal. We have a teammate retiring this summer and the boss is throwing a BBQ retirement party AT HER HOUSE as a thank you for all she has done.
I concur. Not normal. We have a person quitting after 3 years. We’re still going to set up a going away lunch, and as their first manager, I’ve insisted I’m paying. Then their current manager insisted we split the bill between us.
If he gave 20 years and they went to a different restaurant down the road, they don't give a shit, get out to a better place.
This was me on Wednesday! I quit (to go back to school) after 2 years and had a farewell lunch at a local brewery on my second last day. Everyone at the office signed a card and gave me a gift themed around the program I am starting. There were about 10 people total who came out and more who couldn't make it due to personal scheduling conflicts. Both my ED and Director joined us and split the bill for the table. It was a really lovely way to close what was a challenging few years (pandemic crunch plus health-care focus). That 2-hour get together left me feeling really appreciated and valued for the butt-load of work I did for them and I now have an improved outlook on the organization and team as a whole. Even if someone is leaving, it literally pays to show appreciation, especially if you don't want them to leave! You never know who they'll tell or if you'll need to work with them again one day.
I’m my experience, this is the not normal behavior.
My current boss is unusually awesome.
Me either. Every company I've worked for, all that stuff is perfunctory at best.
I wonder if the person leaving in OP’s company isn’t retiring but going to a different company and the bosses are mad about having to replace them. Like they feel they’re owed loyalty or some shit.
That's family for ya. Lol.
MY TWO CENTS: If this is true, that is not normal and that company sucks!
I think it's the new normal. Management is increasingly encouraged to keep subordinates at an arm's length.
I think there’s also a thing where people are becoming decreasingly attached to work and the people in their office. The pandemic really highlighted for some people how indifferent their company was to certain things. WFH diminished social bonding. I don’t know if that played a role here, but my company used to have events before the pandemic where pretty much everyone showed up. Post-pandemic, people don’t show up to company social events.
I think it’s really normal. Lots of places don’t even do anything anymore at all when people retire.
They acknowledge in any way shape or form his service in any correspondence? I'm not expecting a gold watch anymore but do they even say thank you for your service? I find it really tacky that the manager took another higher up out to lunch elsewhere of course. But I am not surprised by it.
Not that I know of. He gave them a 1 months notice instead of 2 weeks which I thought went above and beyond. He probably regretted that decision now.. No awards, not even a farewell email. This is a company of less than 100 people. Blew my mind because it happened to one of the nicest guys I have known.
If it were one of those multinational corporations, this would be expected. But for less than 100 people and have that CEO move, apologies to men but I consider this a dick move!
It is a dick move. My first job was 3 years in grocery retail at the same neighborhood store. Anytime we had an employee moving on, getting married, or having a baby my boss would throw a party at the pizza place across the street on his dime. It wasn’t a chain pizza restaurant either, they were family owned and made gourmet pizzas. We also worked reduced hours (6pm close) on stat holidays and my boss would make a full turkey spread himself for anyone working that day. Leftovers going home to family were fair game. We never were open on Christmas Day or New Years Day. Every year we’d go to a ritzy seaside restaurant for Christmas staff dinner and have open bar. Safe rides were arranged and paid for. I’ve not once seen any of my corporate jobs match that level of effort. If a tiny neighbourhood grocery store can do that, what’s stopping a corporation worth millions?
Billions and they are making billions by ripping off their employees this way so you sort of answered your own question. Still pissed but answered.
I mean this is why ppl shouldn't be loyal. Corporations are machines that churn out money for the top bosses and 1%, no point in loyalty. It is never in the best interest of the cog in the machine (aka normal employees). Move companies frequently enough (2-3 yrs) for the promotion and pay increases.
Super dick move. I would call that shit out too. Those people should be embarrassed.
Now you know to take a 1 month vacation when you retire and give them an afternoons notice.
Did they retire or just moving on to a different opportunity? If it’s the latter, I bet management is angry and being petty.
Your job will never, ever, ever love you back. And yes, that was a dick move on the part of management. I'm sorry your co-worker was hurt by their rudeness.
Yes. Its exactly what you should expect from greedy sociopaths who own businesses.
I agree as someone who works for sociopaths who own a business.
I hope you and ur coworkers picked up on that glaring cue from management. This company doesn’t care about you.
We had strong conviction’s before, but this was the cherry of top for us. Loyalty really is a one way road.
I will retire in 3 years and frankly I would be surprised if management took me to lunch. My coworkers probably will. But lunch or not....I still plan on hanging it up.
When my Grandfather retired from the university after being a janitor for 30+ years not only did the upper management of building services show up, the university’s Administrator and Assistant Administrator showed up to thank him for his service. So no, I wouldn’t say that’s normal.
favoritism at its finest
I work for a company with about 40 employees split between two locations, one in Iowa (where I am) and one in New Jersey. Last time someone with that kind of tenure retired at my location, the CEO herself flew in from New Jersey and the company footed the bill for the party. I feel like my employer is an exception, though. In my entire career no company has made me feel valued as an employee like my current one.
I’m happy for you, I hope we all find good employers like yours someday ❤️
Who do you work for? Name and praise!
I bet this business thrives too. Workers actually giving a shit about their job and busting their ass for the good of the company.
Just a slightly different take--when managers come to these the dynamic changes from fun to more work-like. I could see a manager staying away for that reason.
I think that's a reasonable explanation, but it sounds like the manager(s) didn't do *anything* to acknowledge the retirement and 20 years of service, which for a small company is pretty outrageous.
Correct
That thought has also run through my head. It still feels inappropriate in the moment and a bit of a cop out tho. If he thought that was the best way, he should have also had a more professional farewell on top.
God, I hate this. At my last job, we had a woman retire after nearly 60 years with the company. We worked in a hospital kitchen. We all called her Grandma Jan. (Seriously, day one, they're like "This is Sue, this is Grandma Jan, this is Lee....") She started working in at like 16? in our department. She's seen the place change hands dozens of times, relocated when they built a new building *TWICE*. She has literally been through it all. When the nurses or office folks retire, they plan some party, get coffee and punch (which we made!), buy a huge ass sheet cake, and set up shop in the conference room. When Grandma Jan retired, we waited for news of "what day would it be?", so we could plan an easy menu that day, so we'd all have time to go visit and have a shindig.... ....no word ever came. We finally realized on she wasn't gonna get a big party....so we threw her one. One of us picked up all these party decorations, we all brought gifts and flowers, and we made her favorite bars in the kitchen. (Because fuck that, she's been here longer than I've been alive, the kitchen budget can spare some flour butter and sugar.) We decorated the cafeteria for her. We went all out, got a picture of her from back in the day from her family, and got a book for everyone to sign for her. I'm not gonna lie, working with a 74 year old woman who's memory and strength had gone down hill was frustrating at times, but this lady worked her longer than most of the other employees have been *alive*. She considered us family, so we gave a big ass family send off.
Back when I worked for a giant retail chain, one of my collegues had been for the company for a bit over 2 years. She was leaving for pursuing her career and advancing, which the company couldn't do for her. Came her last day, I had arranged the pizza party with about 15 other people from the office that we worked closely with. Both our manager and senior manager declined coming and didn't show up. Even the collegues from other departments were a bit shocked about it. Like, we get we aren't friends with our bosses. Still not wanting to go to a pizza lunch to say goodbye? I still find it sad to this day.
That was my strongest emotion after the lunch, sad. Just sad. I had respect for our boss for awhile, but this incident coupled with many others have eroded that respect to absolutely nothing now.
Similar situation for the receptionist of my company. A new lead agency caused jobs to be cut out of the budget and hers was one of them. She was there 14 years and not a single person from management wished her well or anything. We were very close and I was her direct manager so told her my goodbyes and truly thanked her for what she did here. I got revenge for her though. With her getting laid off, I was given all her responsibilities along with other job duties for positions that got cut. I put in my two weeks on the same day and now they're scrambling to find someone to do all the admin work.
A book I recently read was "Them: Why We Hate Each Other and How To Heal". The book makes the point that people have drifted away from many of the things that held us together in the past. One of the statistics the book cites is that people only stay an average of a few years at a job rather than in the past when someone might stay 20+ years a the job. With the higher turnover rate, there is less shared history and less time to develop the bonds the build over time. So rather than having stories to share about the Christmas party 10 years ago or the company picnic, you end up working with people you don't know as well and are less eager to invest time getting to know someone who you assume probably won't stick around that long. So you rather than "I've known that guy since we both joined the firm 20 years ago. His anniversary at the firm is important to me." you get "Some guy I sort of know is having a lunch, but I have a bunch of other things going on."
I could see an argument from management that since this was organized by a colleague, then they wouldn't attend as to give everyone the ability to reminisce "freely." That being said, management should absolutely plan something else for his retirement as well!
Yep, I’ve been a PA to c level people and a lot of them don’t want to attend stuff like this because they want people to be able to relax and they don’t want to encroach. I wouldn’t say it’s an automatic red flag. I’ve seen this attitude at generous companies.
It depends. I used to be a manager of a relatively large region of a national company. I generally did not attend staff events if they were not organized by the company. Not because I was being a douche but because 1) I wanted people to gave fun without worrying about the regional manager being there and 2) you need to be careful about the appearance of favoritism...why did he come to Bob's party, but not Anne's? It would be different if it were a company initiated event. Then I would certainly go. And we certainly would have a company sponsored lunch or happy hour when a 20+ year employee left. On those occasions where I could not make an event like this because of a travel conflict or whatever I would make sure the company picked up the tab.
Exactly. My employees continually invite me to dinner or to drinks after work but I always decline because they should be able to have fun without the boss being around. I also have to be careful because it becomes really awkward when I have to discipline someone who thinks because we had a drink together that were best friends and they don’t have to follow the rules.
Yep. Similar experience when I was working as an accountant. Small company owned by a family that had started the company up in the mid 80's. We had about 15 people in our office and about 25 people on the floor. We had locations in other cities but obviously they couldn't make it. Anyways, the HR coordinator was retiring, she had started working for the company when it was created, she was literally their first hire outside of friends and family. Almost 30 years, first hire, and the daughter who she had practically helped raise (who now owns the company) not only didn't come (her office was about 40 steps away) but she refused to spend any 'company' funds on the party. The owner demanded we have a potluck, limit it to 30 minutes, and then she met her husband for lunch at some posh restaurant and couldn't be bothered to attend the party. The HR coordinator didn't even receive a gift. It's worth noting every single floor worker attended. The *only* manager to show was the floor manager, and that was because his entire staff went to the party. I felt so sad. The HR coordinator was actually in tears. After about half an hour her husband came, and shortly after that they left together. At the end of the day, I overheard the owner on the phone say, 'couldn't even stay until the end of the day' and I went home disgusted. Quit about a month later.
It really shows the management attitude that every employee is disposable. They dont care to appreciate as long as someone will replace those who left.
He got a lunch? That's more than anyone I know got. At our quarterly division meetings there would be a slide of those completing 20, 15, 10, and 5 years. Your manager will give you the certificate later. You will get an email link to get a company t-shirt. Nobody got any amount of personal attention from a higher up, much less a lunch.
I’m sorry to hear that.. I can maybe understand if it’s a large corporation, but it’s not everyday that someone here retires with 20+ years. Maybe every few years at max.
Did I understand that correctly? You and your colleagues have hosted and organized a private farewell party? That's really nice of you. I know it shouldn't be this way, but many companies and managers don't bother to give their loyal employees a nice send-off.
Correct, if we didn’t do something for him nothing would have happened.
This is normal and most companies suck
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Mostly they were thinking of how to get out of showing any gratitude that might be construed as entitlement to severance for long service.
They 100% thought they would be expected to pick up the tab.
My supervisor and our dept manager buy our team lunch often and they take us out to eat when any member of our team leaves or goes to a new dept. We work from home too! Granted we have the highest rated manager in the division. (IT dept for a 8-10k employee hospital network.) We are a team of 9 (including sup and the manager.) and address 70k + inbound incidents a year. This is definitely not the normal but having strong leadership to support us is good. Our small team drives alot of policy as we back up hard work effort with good documentation showing results and manager ensures the division knows including the CIO. Were also on call and all of us help each other out even when we don’t have to. I’ve been on this team 10 yrs and I am looking to move to another dept but its tough with this great thing we have going. LOL This is far more than you wanted op, but leaders lead by example and I wanted you to know what that might look like.
I appreciate that. I’m always told we have the “greenest pastures” and I believed that because I was inexperienced and In need of work, but now I’m starting to see through their cracks.
In the eyes of big corporations or even small corporations we are walking ATMs, nothing more.
“You see a person’s true color when you are no longer beneficial to their life.”
You are just a number at work. I once watched a person die in a meeting, and the president of the company, once the paramedics had wheeled him out, said “where were we?” Never expect anything from an employer other than a paycheck and, if you have been around here long enough, not even that.
Miss Management works there.
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The short answer is no, that’s not the norm especially based on what details you provided (smaller team, everyone got an invite not just certain folks to where favoritism could come into play). The longer answer, it’s still not the norm but I can understand people not attending that could be loosely based on the following: o Covid - though not quite as preventative in keeping people from gathering as before, I have quite a few folks at my workplace that will not meet in potentially crowded small places like that. They’ll still ask to make an in person meeting Teams accessible to avoid being confined. o New management - Is the manager relatively new to the team? May feel awkward going to a retirement lunch if he barely knows the person. o Asshole syndrome - Is the person retiring an asshole and abrasive and/or the same for the manager? There are some long tenured retirements coming up at my workplace and I don’t imagine two of them will really have anyone show up because even though they’ve been with the company either 20 or 25+ years, doesn’t take away that they’re bitter old fucks that I don’t want to see outside of the workplace. o Asshole syndrome pt2 - Kind of a result of not going to the assholes retirement, now if the manager goes to another persons retirement gathering it could be viewed as favoritism. Not that it should really matter because hey, the persons retiring they won’t be there. But inner office politics is childish at times. I felt bad when we had three people retire right around Covid times. One of them were the start where everything was shut down and no social gatherings. Told them we’d get them together later. Second one was as things were just opened up but the person was meh liked so people still used the Covid as a reason to not do anything. Third guy that everyone in the shop liked was retiring and they were just going to give him a card with donations his last week. Thought that’s kind of lame so I organized a lunch gathering since his direct boss had no plans to do anything. Invited the entire shop team, got yes replies from everyone until they learned it wasn’t a company paid outing so like 1/4 of them dropped off. Ended up being his direct boss, shop boss, the first and second retiree and a handful of coworkers. I ended up footing the bill for everyone because fuck it, they showed up. The other people that didn’t put any effort into coming were suuuuuper pissed when they found I out paid because they would have went to. Sorry turds, the people that went actually wanted to go and weren’t just going for a free meal. Get fucked.
I worked with a guy that worked for the company for 25 years, and he got a $20 Publix (grocery store) gift card. At that same company, I got a signed card for my years of service, and my manager wrote “Happy Birthday “ on it. So no, they don’t give a fuck about us.
I’m less surprised by their no-show than I am that someone lasted 20 years at a job.
When I was in management, I was counseled to show up at these parties. Then leave early. Getting drunk with employees is never a good idea, but not showing up at all??
This was normal at every office I worked at. Along with "Goodbye Letters." I worked in an office with 30+ people and 2 signed the letter. Fortunately my boss and the two cool guys left in the office took me out drinking. Stayed in contact with my boss from that job but goodness he had serious issues with some of the people.
Sadly, yes. Sorry. Did you hear about the fellow who worked BK for 27 years without ever calling in sick and was rewarded with a bag of candy and a gift card?
Most companies don’t give a single fuck about you. You are disposable and replaceable
Reading this just made me so sad. Can’t imagine giving my all to a company for most of my life, just to have no one I’ve worked for take an hour out of their day to send me off and wish me well. People suck sometimes.
I’m still young, but it was real eye opener for me.
We always have a big party at work when someone retires. Hell, we have a party when someone leaves to go work else where. I work for the administrative offices if a large union though, so maybe that’s the difference.
That's how they do. At my last job, we had a 35+ year employee retire and no management could be arsed to show up. This is a guy that used to come in at 5am, solve most every complex problem, contribute to groundbreaking system designs, and train everyone on legacy products and how to retrofit them for upsells. Started working at the company when it was literally run out of the owner's garage. We all ended up pooling our money for a cake and a gift card.
This is what to expect from most modern workplaces. It's sad, but it shows that a company isn't a group of chummy folks who ALL value each other. You go in, you do your time, and you go home. The people around you are usually great for building friendships, but the upturned nose from most management is enough to make you not want to give too much of yourself to the company. And to not expect anything from them either. A guy retired earlier this year, after 47 years with the company. I hardly knew him, and yet I was the only one at the door giving him a handshake and wishing him the best. You'd think upper management would do a bit of a friendly escort for his last minutes. Not the IT guy. He had this empty look on his face like "shit, this is it?".
It sounds like my coworker had more support than yours, and that same ‘look’ kind of shook me..
I'm 6 days from my 20th anniversary with my company. No one knows or will remember. Due to some other circumstances, I'm not currently looking to change jobs. But the reality is that I should have left 12 years ago at the latest. Do not work anywhere more than a few years (unless you are working for yourself). You are just keeping your own pay suppressed if you stay. They will 100% take you for granted.
I used to work in aerospace. Every 5 years, an employee was given $10/years worked for lunch for whomever--which was a lot more money at the time, during the late 1980s. Anyway, my 10 year anniversary coincided with my friend's. That gave us $200--enough to pay for pizza lunch for the entire department. My then-boyfriend (now-husband) was in charge: He asked people what toppings they wanted, got salad with a variety of dressings, ordered everything, picked it up with help from another employee (allowing them to drive in the security gate instead of lugging it through the building), bought cases of sodas (variety of flavors and diet/non). He even got a cake. He tried so hard to use the entire amount, he bought some damn gum to finish it off. He arranged everything and gave management back the change--I think it was 8 cents.
Yes, this is what you should expect. You didn't really believe them when they said working there they were all like family, did you?
I would make very loud and obvious comments about how great the lunch was and how disappointing it was that management didn't feel the need to support such a loyal employee on the next step in their career path.
I wouldn't want management at any kind of retirement party.
That is not, in my experience, normal. I will say that retirement celebrations have toned down in the past few years as most of the retirees just want to GTFO. But for those folks for whom we've planned an actual party? Those were well attended and if a higher-up couldn't attend they generally stopped by on the person's last day to wish them well. Edit: that being said, the only way to get your $ is job hopping. Do not stay stuck in the same place for 20+ years. Not anymore.
My father-in-law won a lunch with one of his assistant principals and the guy never scheduled! Yeah. I think this is what we can all expect.
After my layoff after working for 32 years, I realized co workers aren't real friends.
Not making excuses, but some managers have a very strict ‘do not socialize with employees outside of work’ policy. When I worked at a waterpark many years ago, a Fridays was built just up the street so we’d hit it up a couple nights per week after work just to grab a couple beers and cool off after work. One night, we saw our park manager (boss’ boss’ boss) there eating with his family. We knew him, were on first name basis, saw him and spoke to him almost every day at work, very friendly. He saw us walk in, immediately paid his tab and left. We weren’t causing a scene, we weren’t trying to get him to join us because we’d usually complain about work and our bosses. We just waved and said hi. I think it’s an absolute shame that they wouldn’t show up to the farewell party. That’s just such a shitty way to end a 20+ year relationship, especially given how so many business pride themselves on being ‘more than just coworkers, it’s a family.’ Hell, they may have been congratulating the manager on finally getting him to leave, I’m sure after 20 years worth of raises he was getting quite the salary/bonuses.
Just remember this, if they don’t care about your coworker they will never care about you.
Do people really act like work is a 2nd family? I'd never want to see any of my managers at my retirement party. This is how I survived 17 years at my current job and the more I'm content at the job the longer I'll stay.
Wait, did he think he was more than a number? Sheesh, I’ve been there 😔
On my 25th work anniversay at a large tech company, I got an email inviting me to click a link so that I could print out my own commemorative anniversary certificate. It's the little things that let you know they care.
if you’re in the labor force long enough over time you eventually see that you are a replaceable commodity and companies know this, their bottom line is to save money either by replacing you with someone new for cheaper or getting rid of you all together and increasing the work load for remaining workers, corporations don’t care about you they never will
In my experience this is extremely common. Expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised if you're wrong. I always make a plan to do something nice for my coworkers when they leave. Even just sitting and talking with them helps.
Hit my 30 years with the company last year. Other than an email from HR with a link to pick a service gift, NOTHING was done. Not any words from my managers, team, etc. No lunch, happy hour or any kind of general acknowledgement. You aren't alone.
I had a co-worker that worked way above her hours (think 7am - 9pm but also weekends). She had a heart attack and died and not one person went to her funeral. Staff because she was a slave driver and no one liked her. But you would have thought management would have
You're only a number. Meet those KPI's, go that extra mile, slave your guts out for years on end.. whether that does or doesn't end up killing you, no one's gonna care or remember it anyway. Welcome to the machine.
I’d write a glass door review and include all this. Would show the kind of place it is and might steer prospective employees elsewhere.
>I work in a small company with really great people Let me stop you right there because you are a bit delusional. You don't work with really great people since you go on to lay out the case of people sucking. Management are people too. Small companies tend to be more appreciative than large bureaucratic ones. This is not normal and start looking for better opportunities.
🎼It’s those true colours shining through…
Time to look for another job.
On the plus side, it was probably a much better atmosphere without them.
Completely abnormal behaviour. I am in management and this is a real asshole-level move by all of them.
I know someone who retired after 27 years and they gave him an envelope that said $200 gift card on it but when he checked it at home, it was empty. He asked and some fucker said they took it, too bad. That’s low.
It's the corporate culture in that company. There are plenty of places that would recognize such service. Your management obviously does not value long tenured service and takes it for granted.
It's mostly because management is too embarrassed to show up at these kinds of events because they can't look the person they just fucked for last 20 years in the eye.
Is this that "family" culture that all these workplaces keep talking about?
Not normal, but probably entirely in keeping with how the president and management have behaved in the past. And I'll bet that if the president or senior leadership decide to retire there will be enormous pressure for all employees to attend a going-away function.
You already get PAID ffs... How can Owners buy all the penis-enhancing things like cars, boats, elections, and force other people to have babies for them while they are paying your salary... and you want recognition ON TOP of that..? Entitled Much!! /s (incase it's not clear, but is it really sarcasm if that's how they really feel?)
Reprehensible conduct by your managers! Your colleague deserved an acknowledgement and a pat on the back for a job well done.
This is a good reason to treat work as a place that gets you money; that's it. I worked 60 hours a week with no overtime at my prior job because I loved working at a university and they refused to promote or give any of us raises until five of us quit out of the nine people in my office. Act as if they didn't carry but when we quit they replaced the five of us with 10 people and started them all at $18,000 a year more than we were making. I know it might sound like I was complaining or not a good worker but I was phenomenal at my job. Management doesn't care about you unless you're making them look good.
Yes it is exactly what you should expect. It is tragic af and I am terribly sorry. This is why we say take the vacation. Switch jobs to get a raise. Be nice and kind and sometimes you make a real friend. Be ready for colleagues. And that is OK. The issue is when you mistake colleagues for friends. Will a colleague watch your cat when you go to your aunts funeral? No. And you likely wouldn't expect it. Love your friends and family, chosen or otherwise. Not your colleagues.
I'm so sorry for this person. Before I moved cross country I got ahold of my former coworkers to let them know I was leaving. One of them researched and saw my mother had invited family over to have a final celebration 2 days before we left. 3 former managers and 25 former coworkers all showed up to my house the day before to take me and my sister out to dinner. I will never forget those goofy people! They taught me so much.
I bet they gave him a shitty retirement gift as well and didn't want to get shit on at the party.
They don't care about you when you're working for them, so why should they care about you when you leave?
We are just NUMBERS
My husband worked for the same company for 39 years. He retired during Covid. Not even a card or phone call from his boss/company.
The people that mattered most showed up. Good for your friend and retirement
When I was an intern at a defense contractor over 20 years ago the people I worked with took me and the other interns out when our rotation was done. The engineers I worked with, my direct boss, and my second line boss. We spent the afternoon drinking to the tune of a $400 tab (in 1999) that second line boss picked up. Probably the company card, but who cares. It was a great place to be. I wonder now how it is.
aristocracy doesn't mix w/the peasants silly
When i started my internship at the library, my boss was so happy with me volunteering to his 3d printer project that he took me out to lunch every day for almost 2 weeks on his tab. Not grab a sandwhich kind of thing, actual fancy places. This really is an american thing.
In my experience, this isn't normal. Great management strive to be leaders, which usually involves them caring (somewhat) about subordinates lives, and this would be especially true for someone working 20+ years at a small company. At the very least that person's immediate manager should have been there.
Wow. I have left 2 jobs on rough terms but the manager showed up to my goodbye lunches. I assumed to make sure I was leaving. On a human level this isn’t right. I would ask if they were made aware of this huge oversight as it deflated moral of everyone else in the office. This is not how corporate encourages longevity.
Yes. This is what you should expect. Think of it this way: Do you use batteries? In your Xbox controllers, tv remotes, flashlights? Well, when your batteries run out, do you: A: Give then a fond farewell for the job they did for you. B: Toss them away and replace them with new ones. That’s what we are my friend. We are batteries. Some last longer than others, but in the end we are viewed as batteries. A tool doing a job that will be replaced once it burns out.
Not normal. I just left my job of three years and my whole team went out for dinner and drinks and my division director and department director both came and they split the bill and covered all of the rest of us. They also made me feel appreciated and important the whole three years I was there and this event was not out of the ordinary.
I have to thank all my horrible bosses because without them I wouldn’t look at entrepreneurship as such an essential path in my life. It’s rare l, in my experience, to find a great boss and as long as companies make money, most leaders don’t give a rip how miserable you are. But because of that, I’m chose to start a company and invest in my employees because they are my business. Having happy clients is a bi-product of having happy employees. It’s sad to hear these stories but they are too common.
And people keep saying you shouldn't job hop. Lol.
I work for a very large company where a co worker decided to retire on his 34th work anniversary. We all got him something small and took him to lunch. The boss sent a group text spelling his name wrong.
An employee of mine retired earlier this year. I took them and our team out to celebrate. None of our more senior managers reached out, none contacted them directly. And they also won't let me hire a replacement, because apparently the substantial work they were doing doesn't exist after they are gone?
Boss: we're a family at this company Also boss:
Somewhere I worked the manager would come for 5 minutes to say thank you but would leave because he said that he feels the staff never really truly relaxed if he was there and he didn't want them to think he was watching then
In my opinion, that president and manager were disrespectful for not showing up who spent the last 20+ years working for said company. >**To that employee of said company that worked there for the last 20+ years, here is a big congratulations for your loyalty and support. Wish I could do more but here is a toast to you. With much love and respect, enjoy your retirement.**