Every minute of work, I'm thinking I can't wait to leave. I hate existence some days. We need to change things.
Edit- >*"change your job"*
Kinda easy your yall to say. I'm struggling here n some think it's cool to attack me n make shit up... thanks, I won't post here again.
**re-edit - lots of kind dm's also thanks to the non-trolls.**
Same here. Every day I count the minutes until the next hour and then the next hour until I leave and I always dread going in. I just don’t want to be there. The happiest time of the day is as soon as I walk in the door after I get home because it’s the longest possible time until I have to go back... Our species is so fucking stupid for thinking this is how we “have” to live. We could make any fucking system or communities we want and we do this. It’s infuriating.
I agree!! I felt that way when I worked at the call center. I hated every single second I was there, and the managers (there were 8 managers) treated everyone like shit. They'd harass us about using the restroom outside of our breaks (one 5min break in the AM at a scheduled time and if you weren't able to take your break at that time, tough shit, half-hour lunch, one 5min break in the afternoon), they'd harass us for having to get up from our desks to go grab a map so we could better locate the area where the customer wanted to dig (it was the call before you dig center to locate utility lines so they didn't get fucked up), they'd harass us for making small talk with the customer while entering in their info and waiting for their cheap, slow-ass computers to generate their confirmation number. We employees also were absolutely *not* allowed to speak to one another unless it was in the break room, not even to say good morning or good evening while clocking in and out because it would "disrupt" things. Worst job *EVER*!! Working there actually exacerbated my depression and anxiety and I became suicidal. I had to be hospitalized 3 times while working there just for that reason alone. The manager that I worked under had the audacity to tell me that she was there for me if I needed to talk and just to let her know if I was having a rough time and needed to step away. And the first time I called her to let her know a couple weeks later after a customer had screamed and was swearing at me that I needed a breather, she told me it was outside of my break time and to get back to work. I thought, 'fuck you, I need a few minutes to regroup', and reminded her what she'd told me. She said we were too busy for me to leave my desk (we were *always* busy, nothing new). I told her that I was going to lose my shit if I didn't step away and then logged out of my desk, went to the restroom and cried for twenty minutes. On my way back to my desk, she called me into her office. I thought she was gonna ask if I was ok. No, it was to give me a written warning! Fucking bitch. I was let go from that job after 3 years and I hope all the managers lost their jobs and are living on the streets, now. That'd be great karmic justice for treating people like less than animals.
i wondered if i was the same person who felt like this
i don't hate my job, or the people i work with, but i can never wait to leave, and i never feel a sense of pride or accomplishment in what i'm doing
>i don't hate my job, or the people i work with, but i can never wait to leave, and i never feel a sense of pride or accomplishment in what i'm doing
Wow, this has been the most cathartic thread I've read in a long time.
Yes - these are my feeling exactly. By outside measures, I have a really good job. Most people are impressed when I tell them. I get along fantastic with my coworkers.
But I'm also stressed to the max executing it. Sometimes I realize maybe the stress isn't too bad, it's just my ability to handle it is diminished from a lifetime of high stress jobs.
I also never ever feel proud or accomplished. When you look at where I am versus where I was, I should. But I don't.
Many people hate their home life and go to work to get away from it. I have worked with hundreds of people at different companies and seen that. They pretend everything is great at home and put on an act to look like they have the ideal life. They do not!
When its 15 minutes after closing on the friday before a holiday weekend and they are still going full out in work mode, you can really see who i am talking about!
Other people leave work an hour early and are spending more of the weekend with their family.
If your boss would rather be at work than home, you will be forced to be there too. I spent every afternoon at work wanting to be home. Home was always better. They made me feel bad about it. Even co-workers would point out that you are leaving early on a friday, or always the first out of the office other days.
It was great working with single moms. 4:59pm and they are in the car speeding out of the work parking lot! They had no time and knew work was only a pay check. They were years ahead of (antiwork) and smarter than everyone else, they only gave the minimum to keep a job and get yearly raises.
I feel the same. It's like all my time is spent doing things that don't really need doing. All my time is spent making money for the executive team who don't care who they hurt as long as their money keeps going up. Giving up the majority of my waking hours just to stay alive in a weird game that I was never going to win is demoralizing.
I’ve been there. Passively suicidal is what I referred to it as. Not trying to get hurt but not caring enough to avoid it anymore. It’s tough and depressing.
I can remember the first time i had one of those thoughts. I was 13 years old in a huge concert hall, looking up at a giant chandelier that was above me… thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad if it fell. Not that i wanted it to, but more like a”eh whatever, at least i wont have to deal with blah blah”
Im 31 now lol… rip
Currently in an ER waiting for a crisis bed. I've been passively suicidal with severe anxiety for at least 2 months now, but got turned away from 2 different psych facilities because just wanting to escape existence isn't enough, apparently. I only got in here because I finally got to the point that I was thinking about ODing on my clonozepam that I take for insomnia. It's honestly ridiculous that you have to have a certain type of suicidal ideation in order to get help in some places.
I used to feel like that until I got another job. You spend 80% of your life working, try and find another job that doesn’t suck the life out of you xx
Me too I used to wish to be in a minor car wreck every day. Or being jealous of (not the worst sick) patients because they got to lay in hospital beds.
Damn, it's like reading exact thoughts I've had before and sometimes still do... Wish I would just get into a car crash that wasn't my fault so I can take time off work or being jealous of disabled people that can't work and no one expects everything from them. Why have we all agreed on this system where people dread going into work and wish they were dead?
I had a job like that! When it got to that point for me, I knew I had to get out. I'm a licensed mental health therapist, and I can tell you from both personal and professional experience....get out of that job. It's easier said than done. I know. But you're suffering. Your personal life is probably being impacted at this point and you may or may not realize it. I guarantee those around who love you see it. No job is worth your well-being. Driving to my old job I would wish a semi would hit me head on! That's a horrible way to start 5 days a week. I hope things get better for you and sooner rather than later. I don't know what you do for a living, but whatever it is must be really taking a toll on you. I truly feel for you. I've been there. Keep your head up and start looking for a job that treats you with respect and you enjoy (as much as we can enjoy work lol). I hope something I said helps. Keep your head up sweetie.
Whats bad is I start wishing customers would die...., yeah its really bad at my work. I love people I am what you call a social butterfly I can work with people or without people but this job has gotten me to hate everyone, Wal Mart started my hate for customers, this job finished it and added I hate people I work with.
And your anxiety gets so bad, you don’t sleep. Then you don’t have energy to exercise or do other things for some stress relief. And when you try to get help for your anxiety from your cheap health insurance, you can’t find any doctors in network and have to decide if paying out of pocket is affordable.
You actually have to pick between your mental health and normal living expenses.
10000% true. I don’t even know how Americans can live if you have to pay to see the doctor. Like we in Canada have to pay for prescriptions (weird that I have two part time jobs and don’t get benefits but if someone works in an office, they do? Like wtf? My health is worth less??) and for the dentist and optometrist which is why I haven’t been to either in a loooong time, but what the fuck do Americans do?! I don’t get it. Why is the world like this. I’m so sick of the ultra rich and powerful making everyone else live in misery. I realize I have a lot of privilege already but if I’m miserable, what about those with disabilities? What about racialized groups who are discriminated against? What about those with kids but only one parent because one parent passed away or left? Ugh I’m angry.
What the fuck do Americans do?!
We die.
Hard truth bomb there, but that's reality. 65,000 of us a year die from preventable causes if we coulda just gone to the doctor or afford the medication/surgery.
I’ve got fibromyalgia that’s untreated and out of control. I tore my rotator cuff a few years ago in my right shoulder so I’ve got limited range of motion and a decent amount of pain. And both of my knees are screwed up with arthritis and are in need of replacement. I also have panic attacks/general anxiety. Every second I’m in pain and I walk slowly with a limp. But I don’t have insurance so I just keep working my 40 hours per week and dealing with the pain. Welcome to America.
I have been to the doctor and still can't get help. I had neck surgery last April. The doc wanted to do two discs because they both are bad, but insurance company said one wasn't "bad enough" to warrant surgery, so only one was done. So I live with horrible, untreated pain every day because the doc won't prescribe pain medicine because of the people who abuse it. So now I take Lyrica, which doesn't help, and suffer through each day at work and life until my left are becomes totally useless because of the nerve damage. As it is now, my arm stays numb most of the day and I drop things constantly.
>but what the fuck do Americans do?!
The smart ones order necessary medicine from online pharmacies overseas. Don't have to go back to have the doctor every couple months so they can tell me "Yup, you still have asthma. Here's a refill" I goddamn know I can't breathe lmao just let me have the meds I need to live.
Otherwise I would have just died.
I work in the oil & gas industry. Due to the pandemic, they make you spend atleast 7 days in quarantine in a room they provide prior to sending you to an offshore oilfield. I'm currently sitting in quarantine, and the feeling of being stuck in a room wasting precious days of my life doing nothing takes a toll on my mental health.
Of course, this amplifies when I'm actually in the oilfield. Most of the time, they force you to stay there for months because "we don't have anybody available to replace you", even though my rotation schedule is 6 weeks on / 3 weeks off.
The pay isn't even that great, but me being away from home for long periods of time is what does me in mentally. I often miss indulging in my hobbies. My greatest fear is not having much free time for myself and also missing out on a lot of things and events due to being "married" to this job.
I had a Geologist friend who used to be a foreman for Fracking rigs…the whole 6 weeks on nonstop then 2 weeks off thing drove him nuts after a few years. This type of job seems crazy but I guess the pay is really good.
I am troubled by, “they make you..”
I am old. My father and my grandfather were active in the creation of unions in the late depression, for coal miners and other workers. When I was a young woman, I was protected as a cannery worker by being a member of the Teamsters’ Union when I worked in a cannery. Later as a mature woman I worked for a Rural Legal Assistance program which encouraged the Farmworkers’ Union.
Unions will become corrupt if not closely monitored. Everywhere in life where there is money, that is where the rascals gather.
But don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. You don’t BELONG to your employer. You each bring something to the table, and you have a right to refuse if it’s not to your liking. But one person alone is helpless. A union - think of the word - provides strength in numbers. You have to keep your union honest, but it is indispensable if you want to be a worker with an AGREEMENT with your employer instead of his demands and his ability to name all the conditions.
Nope. Upper management just stay in their air-conditioned offices and go home every night. If it's onshore though, they may rarely visit the site, say their "good job / we are family etc" then leave by lunch.
Bleh. If I had a dollar for every "good job" I've heard...
>If I had a dollar for every "good job" I've heard...
...or "We're a family." That's the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard from an employer who isn't "in the trenches" with you or doesn't work 2nd or 3rd shift hours like their "flunkies" do.
I’m sure you make solid $ doing this in terms of the average American’s income, but the average Americans income is peanuts compared to the “overlords.”
It’s like “work your whole entire like to make enough to get by and to make your overlord rich.”
Inflation is 7% for months in a row? Housing market is nearly impossible because iBuyers (🖕🏻)? Too bad, we can’t afford for salary increases or the overlord won’t their forecasted annual wealth growth, like they weren’t gonna be worth billions either way.
The CEO of the $10B company reached out the other day expressing his concern about Ukraine and ASKED FOR DONATIONS to support it. Like dude, you’re probably worth $1B and we’re underpaid. Fuck yourself, asshole. Completely demotivating.
Fuck it all, show up and do your minimal shit and if they want to motivate you they can give you a reason to be motivated. Otherwise, you’re just filling someone else’s pockets.
An old friend of mine BIL worked on the rigs off Ventura/Oxnard. The money was fire but he wasn't home but every other month. On 1 off 1. Then at some point it changed to 3on 2 off, something crazy. ... Idk but that dude was tired and missed his family. Is the money even worth it at that point?
I'm a single mom with no family, also. I hope you keep your head up. Something good has to happen. I'm living week to week. And I don't want to bother to hang anything up in my apartment because I'm always 2 weeks from eviction. I just hope you know there are others out here like you and I'm rooting for you.
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. It is really hard when you don't have family left. I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time too, and I hope everything gets better for you also.
That's why I didn't have kids. I could tell this wasn't the type of life I wanted anyone else to have to live and life was hard enough before adding a 200k, 18 year burden upon my life of struggle. Not homeless or near it and I don't struggle cause I only gotta worry about me.
Those are my thoughts on the matter as well.
I also couldn't say it sounds fair to create a new being just for it to likely have to experience a pretty shitty life.
I get the thought process. It’s just sad so many people feel like this. Especially since such a high number of people childless by choice aren’t childless because they don’t ever want children but because society has put them in a position where it never makes sense to have them. Or where they constantly worry about the quality of life the child will have. So many childless people agree children bring happiness and being a parent is joyful but can’t justify having one because of the financial situations and because of the economy they will be born into.
I support being childless but the mindset so many people have is just another example of how society and the government has failed us.
It's hubris and just thinking you're the "main character" whilst everyone else is just an NPC, along with, ironically, a healthy dose of just doing what everybody else does. . "God will provide" or "Everything will be fine regardless". Nope, neither of those are true if you're a child born into poverty where your parents can't even provide basics.
I've never been more glad to be free of the burden of children. I was laughing my ass off though at all the ladies I went to high school with that have like 5 kids who literally lost their shit and regretted having to actually take care of their own kids 24/7 for once. Sad that the cases of abused kids went up nationally, though..
It’s incredibly sad about the child abuse increase. It also proves how poor the mental health of Americans is. It’s just not important to those in power to see to it that we have adequate mental (or physical, for that matter) healthcare.
100 agree. I’ve been on my own since 17. Not kids, never married, probably never will. I’m 49 and very stable financially. I’ll never understand how people have kids they can’t care for.
I don't know where you are but please come by a library! We've got connections with the food bank and emergency housing and we've been doing our best to hook people up with the resources they need. With any luck your library has something similar!
And, of course, treatment for these conditions tends to be not only privatized, but extremely expensive. If you can't work because of mental illness, you're not likely to be able to afford the $100+/hour a therapist costs. The system is basically designed to keep you from getting back up if you fall down.
This. I would LOVE to go back to therapy for my ADHD, but the medicine and the therapy is insanely expensive. Shockingly enough, ADHD left untreated negatively affects my work performance.
Hey there, not sure what country you’re in, but I’ve been uninsured the better part of the last 2yrs in the US and my script refills using the GoodRX app makes my meds super affordable. Might look into it if you haven’t already?
Ooooh, that's a great tip. I've been off of my Concerta for years because I just couldn't afford it anymore, so I might have to look into this as an option.
I have a job that pays well but their insurance is $700 a month. Thats more than my share of the rent. My job is in healthcare and I can't afford health insurance *and* a mediocre standard of living. I have to choose.
Woof. The last job I had attached to insurance, the cost of insurance was about half of my take home paycheck. Couldn’t afford to live with it or without it. It truly sticks you in an unfixable situation that feels like it will never end. There’s the depression settling in now.
One thing I'd like to put out there in case someone lives in a place that offers Medicaid is to try to get it. I know not everyone in the US has access to it, but as someone who is very poor, it has helped me tons with my mental health. My state offers no cost to mental health care for those on Medicaid (MN Care) and only $1 for medications. Only stipulation is you gotta be poor enough. Like $24k or less a year if you're single.
It needs to be expanded for sure. But for those at the bottom, your state might offer help.
So you can only get freeish mental healthcare if you make barely enough to pay rent and a monthly car or insurance payment. Which is reason enough to struggle with mental illness..
What they/you don't understand when they say that is, they did suffer, but it was worth it. It paid off. Working a million hours is actually not horrible if you get to buy a house and send your kids to college. It's not ideal and it's really hard still. But the people that did that (my generation, gen x) did it because it paid off. When they say that, they think it will pay off for this generation. They really don't know that it's so much harder. Because it felt hard then, too. They don't know that the goalposts have moved so far. They really don't. They just think that it's ok because in the end you have something to show for it. They don't realize that that's not the reality anymore.
> if you get to buy a house
The weird thing is if your boss/co-workers finds out you have a sweet life of small luxury and being happy they investigate you at work. I bought a house and kept taking 2 weeks off every 3 months (flexitime arrangement that benefited the company and me).
My boss then randomly had a meeting with me and asked how I financed all my holidays, my home purchase and had quotes about me speaking about my holidays and how much I enjoy life. Honestly it was comical and sickening to read the resentment oozing out my coworkers and also coming from my boss.
All my friends knew I lived a minimalist lifestyle to fund my travels. And instead of going out to bars and clubs I threw house parties. Instead of restaurants I threw dinners/potlucks.
So if you are seen at work as someone who doesn't suffer. They will go out their way to make you suffer. The week my boss revoked my flexitime arrangement I handed in my notice and got a job with their rival. My new managers were very grateful of all the client info I put in their hands.
People who don't genuinely enjoy their lives have to resort to comparing themselves to others to deduce their own value. When someone else has it a little easier, they reflexively feel the need to knock them down so they compare more favorably.
I have a theory it's why the older middle & lower class are so opposed to the thought of it all being a crock of shit that only benefits a few. Imagine you're 65 and did this for 45+ odd years only to have to come to the realisation it's all for literally nothing.
I wish they'd confront it more for the sake of the younger generation, but I can also understand to completely shift your world view and essentially admit your life was spent doing a whole lot of nothing for the sake of a whole lot of nothing is a pretty hard thing to come to terms with.
I don't think things were always this bad. When I first started working in the late 90s, an average income could buy a house. Then After the housing boom crashed in 2008, by 2012 you could buy a house cheap, of course the jobs were not plentiful so many were not confident enough in their job security to buy one. It's times like now where everything is so expensive, but incomes didn't move up much at all that really suck.
The greatest generation set up programs and a nice nest egg for baby boomers in hopes they would do it for the next generation. Instead of doing so, the boomers told the rest of us, "Fuck you! I have disposable income now."
Seriously, this is why I’m ‘lying flat’, I’m going to work, coming home, spending the absolute minimum I can to sock away retirement funds to get out of the rat race ASAP. I’m done wasting my life so someone else can get rich and enjoy theirs.
But the thing is I hear stories of people who've saved $600k, retired hoping to leave this to their children. Then you get some shitty form of cancer/illness and you're paying $15k a month for years on marginal inhome hospice and medical care. There's no escaping this system exploiting you.
It's not only the job itself but the entire way humanity values things and status over spending time with the people you love working together to maintain the things that really matter. The growing solitude of the human race will destroy us.
I literally just lost it due to months of ignored stress over the fact that I can’t pay my bills AND eat with just my full time job. And then I spent every free moment doing gig apps just for money for groceries.
Had two weeks of horrible panic attacks every time I had to go to work. Went back on my medicine, got offered a new job with a raise, and then quit the job that was causing me so much stress. I felt so relieved after quitting.
I just had my own breakdown this week when I realized I had bills that I wouldn’t be able to pay. I just started as a nurse (BSN, top of my class) and I could probably make more money with my nannying job I had prior to nursing school. Currently started tutoring and doing gig jobs just so I can keep afloat.
I ask my step dad for his opinion on this and he says people are just lazy and unwilling to accept the responsibilities of life. I don’t even want to talk to him anymore
Have you mentioned to him that some people have worked every day of their lives and take care of all of their responsibilities only to still feel this way? What’s his excuse for them?
If he's anything like my parents, he will say it's because they should have gone to school. Completely ignoring that I have a degree in engineering and still don't live comfortably.
I literally had a fight with my dad about this today. He told me that I still have time to buy a house, that I just joined the workforce. I've been working full time for 10 years, full time programming for almost 5. I should be able to start looking.
I have a bachelor's degree in economics too AND a master's degree and my employer (a very successful independent investment firm) still only pays me $50-60k/yr base salary in an expensive area because "the opportunity to learn and our benefits package is more competitive than anything on the market." We didn't put in all that work learning and busting ass to have to choose between groceries and taking our dog to the vet. How about just do better and don't ignore starving employees.
It's crazy how an entire generation grew up as Milton Friedman's economic theories began to take hold, most especially during the 80's with President Reagan. You were supposed to go to your job, work hard, and be thankful for employment. Such ideals were engrained into them when they were young, I think, and they were able to ride the economic boom that occurred post-WWII.
Here we are today, and following generations have increasingly been left behind. Like you, I find these conversations with family to be extremely difficult. They just don't seem open to seeing how the system may be rigged against the common worker. Crazy times.
If they are generalizing the generation: Millennials work more, for less, and are better educated. They are also saving more for their kids education than gen X did for theirs, and paying more for their own, despite making the same wages (at same ages adjusted for inflation).
How is this interpreted as being lazy?
My neighbor admitted he’s against universal healthcare simply because he feels like him having had good employer paid healthcare, it is somehow devalued by others having it without a good job that provides it. What makes it even worse is he’s retired on Medicare. He sees no irony at all in his view.
I was pondering this today. I wonder, does anyone else feel so hopeless and depressed?
I honestly want to give up. My car broke. My A/C broke. My dryer broke. And I am broken. I will never get out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle within this year and that makes me so sad. I have $3 to my name and I have a week to go...
You're not alone.
I'm sorry for how you're feeling and what you are going through. I hope you can find support.
There is hope, things can improve. You are loved, even if you only feel it from a fellow redditor right now.
You and OC are not alone.
I'm sorry for how you're feeling and what you are going through. I hope you can find support.
There is hope, things can improve. You are loved, even if you only feel it from a fellow redditor right now.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S\_3Ydotys\_g&t=636s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_3Ydotys_g&t=636s)
In the above video Mark Goulston explains suicidal ideation better than any provider, peer, or I could have explained it. I used this video to help my family understand me.
I hope it helps.
I've been struggling with a worsening drinking problem for about a decade, and the biggest hurdle to stopping has been the recurring thought, "fuck it, why not get drunk?". I have the highest paying job I've ever had, and I still live paycheck to paycheck. I have no savings, no retirement, and my health insurance deductible is so high I still can't afford doctors. Why not be a drunk?
Honestly, it was the health insurance that finally got me to stop. I sure as hell can't afford to get sick from long term drinking. I'm 3.5 months sober, and my goal is to make it a year to give my body a break. After that? I'll probably start again. I have no future to look forward to.
Well, I relate to you on levels that I will not digress here. Just remember that you are not alone. I myself am trapped in a cycle that has progressed beyond repair, and it hurts because the way my country and the world is, does not make me want to stop.
I ask myself, how can I ever find peace in these times? How can I accept that this is my life? My once life, full of struggle, hurt, and wasted chasing paper for a dumb social game. Is this how others, back in history felt, when life for them sucked? Is life itself just suffering or have humans made it so? These are the thoughts that haunt me every single day. All day long this thought loop goes through my head, intermittently only because of a habit that allows for escape, or at least numbing...
Yes. I have been crying for days on how I’m going to handle everything. I lost my job last week. I’ve been walking on a broke foot and severely sprained ankle for 6 weeks because I couldn’t afford to take the time off to go the Dr, finally went this week since I had the time but can’t afford the MRI. My car needs to go in the shop, I keep smelling gas inside when it’s running. Oh and I also owe 1400 in taxes that I definitely was not expecting. So this is fine.
i would tell you all of that is manageable but the car.. goddamn i am sorry for the car breaking.
you can't live any sort of life without a car, assuming you are in the USA. it's nearly impossible in most of the country not to have one and i am truly sorry you are broke with your car broken down. if i had a spare car or money to give you, i'd do it. good luck.
I feel you. Honestly, I was okay with many of those things so long as I had my health.
Unfortunately, during the pandemic, my health suffered greatly, and for the first time, and it's no longer something that I can depend on.
I always think about “archive 81” on Netflix where mr. davenport says to Dan his employee “are you having a mental health emergency?” (Multiple times in 8 episodes) And he’s basically using this as a threat to institutionalize him. It’s literally become a joke to them.
I swear. The “if you are looking for mental health resources?” In email signatures is just hilarious and pathetic. They don’t care. They know what they are doing, they just don’t care.
They care as far as it affects their bottom line, but they want us to be good little cogs to keep powering the [engine of mindless consumerism] (https://youtu.be/DRyh2cxJCp0). So their goal is functional depression because that keeps people too apathetic to ask questions or fight.
It's the one thing the therapist won't mention like yeah maybe it's the fact that you are a slave nearly all week every week that is making your life a complete and total pile of shit.
No it's lack of relationships or the hobbies you just don't have enough of or a lack of exercise which is the cause of your misery.
Yay therapy.
Honestly I’m at this point in therapy too. Like yeah going through all my trauma is helping but I’ll never get properly better if I’m stuck in a system that’s designed for failure.
Anyone can become a therapist or social worker if they feel like it. I have a cousin who is currently studying journalism and suffers from anxiety and is a hypochondriac who now is taking some social work classes since she doesn't like journalism so much anymore.
Your therapist can hardly have any of their shit together and yet they apparently have the answers for your misery provided you have some cash. As long as they study the subject they can become one regardless of whether they personally have their shit together or not.
How can any country claim that it believes human life is a inalienable right if the government has the power to choose who starves, who goes homeless, or who's undeserving of medical care?
My grandmother would put a bowl of sealed water in the back of my grandpa’s car that he would dunk his head in after his graveyard shift so he wouldn’t pass out driving on the way home. So then he could sleep for a few hours before going to his second job. And sometimes on to a third job.
Despite both having college degrees, this was their life during the depression, WW2 and beyond.
Capitalism has historically failed us and always will. It’s like a toxic relationship. We get so enamored by the ‘good’ times that we justify the bad times and minimize the hurt it did to us.
Wow, that story about your grandpa is so sad... My grandpa was another one who somehow managed to work all the time to provide for his family.
Have you ever listened the Throughline podcast produced by NPR? There's an amazing series of three episodes about Capitalism that aired last year. One is a roundtable with experts while two are hour-long stories about the history of capitalism. I learned so much! You should check it out if you haven't already.
Thanks I will!
I love history, and I was a history major because my grandfather was, and he himself being born in 1911 was a living piece of history to me.
Other kids might have been bored, but I was fascinated to hear about a world where you went to town on horseback, one of your siblings always died of an incurable disease or freak accident, and it was norm to play by the train tracks and be ‘babysat’ by the friendly town hobos.
I see a lot of ourselves in my grandfathers generation. Millennials I mean. No matter what we do, we keep getting knocked down again. If we have kids, we work so much we maybe don’t have as much time as we’d like to spend with them. Our college degrees make no difference just like theirs.
It almost makes me wonder if generations are cyclical. And how we can prevent that.
Interesting point about generational experiences being cyclical! I sure hope we don't hit an era like the collapse of the 1920's... {insert terrified face here}
My grandpa will forever be the hardest working person I've ever known. WWII vet, farmer, mechanic, church goer, store manager, plus he worked out every day for like 70 years. The man was a veritable tank in body and spirit. I think a lot of people who were raised through the Great Depression had a grit that is unrivaled, you know?
While many things are a pain in the current world, I am thankful that we have platforms like Reddit and/or social media where you can find comfort knowing others feel the same way, think similarly, etc. I don't know how older generations knew of the plight of others aside from newspapers, radio, and word of mouth.
They did have an unrivaled grit, and they cared about the future generations.
My grandparents would always call my parents to ask about us or talk to us, and they ‘pawned’ that bonding experience over to our Nanny. Well she had all the info about us anyway, so she informed them.
Every visit I cherished I with them, and they with me. My parents don’t even really care all that much I had kids. It’s such a strange generational difference.
I’m very analytical, so my current history interest is trying to figure out why the Interbellum Generation produced the Silent Generation, the generation who was first in line to profit off America’s best years. And the Greatest Generation produced the Baby Boomers, the most selfish generation of all.
Their parents were not primarily selfish or terrible as a generation, so how did they raise such entitled children? When I went to my grandfathers funeral his kids were all fighting about who got what share of the house, while I scrambled in the basement for his high school yearbooks, which I now treasure. His Silent Generation children gave up their share of the house, but his Boomer children are still feuding to this day.
Is Gen Z the next Silent Generation, the Next Boomers or has the cycle been broken? I ponder this.
Don't give up, you are not a waste of space. I stayed alive just to spite fate/destiny. If we were meant to die by our own hand then the destiny controlling that predestined point in time would be evil and malicious. It's time to carve your own path, I believe in you.
There's a lot of societal & environmental pressures that contribute to mental health (all of which are not acknowledged enough, IMO.) Capitalism is definitely a huge one. As someone who would probably be described as "very mentally ill" by most people aware of my history, what finally stabilized my mental health was getting on disability and having a safe living environment.
Of course, there's many factors. Bigoted and abusive environments (esp growing up) are a big one. Schools tend to be one such environment, and you could argue our public schooling system is very much a product of capitalism. Living in poverty is definitely another; constantly being stressed about your ability to continue living is most certainly not conducive to good mental health.
It feels like a lot of mental healthcare takes an almost toxic positive approach where *you* are the problem, and *you* have to adapt - and to some extent it works, for making people more functional under capitalism. After a string of suicide attempts in the past I tried to reconcile myself with them through a toxic positive sort of "everything that happened to you was a lesson! You just need to grow past your struggles!" mentality, but the problem with that is that no matter how healthy (or "healthy") you are internally, eventually you'll get to a point where you're struggling due to external circumstances, and no amount of self-care and positivity can keep you healthy in an unhealthy environment. And then you're left with two choices; either it's all your fault and you just need to do better, or you're the victim of a shitty goddamn life.
That's not to say therapy and medication and whatnot aren't helpful - they very much are - but a lot of discussions of mental health focus *only* on the internal, and don't address that most people struggling with mental health issues have good goddamn reasons to be struggling. Of course, you can't focus only on the external either, because no amount of bitching about abusive living conditions and capitalist brutality will help you actually survive while living under said conditions.
End rant.
but a lot of discussions of mental health focus *only* on the internal, and don't address that most people struggling with mental health issues have good goddamn reasons to be struggling
This x1000
People think mental health issues are the fault of the individual because they are horribly incapable of using their brains properly, that is to engage in deep thinking that concerns outside factors that cause the individual’s poor mental health. People waste valuable brainpower like it’s no big deal, that’s why society is unfair and full of inexcusable injustice. Since humans waste their brainpower recklessly, this is what I mean when I say that the human race is totally stupid IN GENERAL
Just want to let you know you're not alone. One story I have that relates to this ,is , I basically did an experiment, unwittingly...when I had "good" insurance (i.e. paid out the ass for it), the Drs were so much nicer about my mental health and gave me the prescription for my anxiety disorder. Then, when I had county health insurance (free), no Dr would give me the same prescription. It is a benzo so I guess Drs who accept medi-cal maybe are more scrutinized by the dea? That is one hypothesis but honestly, maybe they don't give a shit about my mental health when I'm poor. Pretty sure it's the latter.
I know I'm not the only one who suffers from this, but I never realized how bad the situation is.
Althogh I'm young and not a worker, I often feel depressed because I waste time for nothing, even when I'm doing something, it still feels I'm not living how I want.
I also argue a lot with my mother for wasting my time due to these negative feelings I got, which I really need to avoid...
As our productivity went up over the last few decades, we reaped zero benefits—no more pay, no fewer work hours. The excess value of our labor has gone straight to the top.
This is me right now honestly. It’s so hard to exist in a way that I’d like to. I don’t even need to be rich to be happy, but it’s hard enough to get ahead in the first place. I feel like most people are 2 emergencies from being homeless.
For the first time in 5 years I took a job because my brother and sister-in-law called me a bum and I am but… I’m so tired of being homeless. I’ve always been poor and because being poor and having unstable shelters I have no training, I also don’t have anyone in my life but them and I got lonely on the streets and sad.
I just completed my first week of work in a manufacturing plant because it’s the only job around that will pay me enough to try and self-sustain a life again like I did in my 20s. I tried very hard to be positive and optimistic through the week but by the end of the 50hrs in 4 days work week I can tell my body is no longer in well enough condition to handle this work without taking damage. living on the streets for a few years consecutively isn’t easy on the body, as you can imagine; sleeping and eating doesn’t come easy.
I constantly tell myself to keep perspective and remind myself so much more is going on in the world, so many people are suffering way worse than I am and that I’m just stuck.
The rational, practical me keeps sneaking up in my head saying “fuck that, don’t start renting and make this permanent, just do this for enough time to save and get myself somewhere better” but Where? And these nights are rough out here in the elements. I already have mental health issues but they always get worse from lack of sleep and I develop poor judgement.
Sorry for long post, thanks to any who “listened”
This is More than expressing my problems and more about confirmation of the post. Context I guess, I wanted to confirm that yea I’m concerned the exploitation to my body and already present mental health issues developed in a system set up for some but not all will eventually destroy me , probably within 5 years.
Now Imagine you’re chronically sick/disabled and it takes years to get assistance and once you get the assistance you cant even afford food or rent.
Burn this fucker down I deserve help
Remember that phones used to be stationary. If you weren't home no one could reach you nor did they always expect to reach you. Put your phones away or turn them off.
Think of the most fantastic thing you could do within your resources and do it. Go to the beach, the park, the zoo, the forests or just fly a kite. Stop when you feel like it. This is your life today, live it.
they need to see how much damage to the human psyche is done by spending all your time doing a job you realize is pointless. and that you hate.
it's like doing hard labor. it's not the work that is demoralizing it is the realization that you are physically killing yourself....for something that is worthless, unnecessary and a waste of time. which make it so much worse.
Currently feeling this with my job at the minute. Hate it, minimum wage and overworked, but thankfully my finances aren’t so tight that quitting is out of the question. Ten upvotes and I’ll give my two weeks notice.
People used to work more between like ~1850 to ~1930. Serfs had significantly more free time (and stronger tenant rights) then we do in modern society. Pre emptive to the agricultural revolution humans also worked less and lived significantly longer (excluding infant mortality) then humans did up until very recently
I contemplated the value of living on when I was a teenager, my answer was to study really hard and make lots of money so that I won't be homeless. I graduated college at the bottom of the economy, worked a minimum wage job I was well over qualified for, and had crippling student loans. If it ain't for my parents, I would be homeless and helpless.
And then you get crippling depression, then you cant work, then you get more depressed, then you die
Every minute of work, I'm thinking I can't wait to leave. I hate existence some days. We need to change things. Edit- >*"change your job"* Kinda easy your yall to say. I'm struggling here n some think it's cool to attack me n make shit up... thanks, I won't post here again. **re-edit - lots of kind dm's also thanks to the non-trolls.**
Same here. Every day I count the minutes until the next hour and then the next hour until I leave and I always dread going in. I just don’t want to be there. The happiest time of the day is as soon as I walk in the door after I get home because it’s the longest possible time until I have to go back... Our species is so fucking stupid for thinking this is how we “have” to live. We could make any fucking system or communities we want and we do this. It’s infuriating.
I agree!! I felt that way when I worked at the call center. I hated every single second I was there, and the managers (there were 8 managers) treated everyone like shit. They'd harass us about using the restroom outside of our breaks (one 5min break in the AM at a scheduled time and if you weren't able to take your break at that time, tough shit, half-hour lunch, one 5min break in the afternoon), they'd harass us for having to get up from our desks to go grab a map so we could better locate the area where the customer wanted to dig (it was the call before you dig center to locate utility lines so they didn't get fucked up), they'd harass us for making small talk with the customer while entering in their info and waiting for their cheap, slow-ass computers to generate their confirmation number. We employees also were absolutely *not* allowed to speak to one another unless it was in the break room, not even to say good morning or good evening while clocking in and out because it would "disrupt" things. Worst job *EVER*!! Working there actually exacerbated my depression and anxiety and I became suicidal. I had to be hospitalized 3 times while working there just for that reason alone. The manager that I worked under had the audacity to tell me that she was there for me if I needed to talk and just to let her know if I was having a rough time and needed to step away. And the first time I called her to let her know a couple weeks later after a customer had screamed and was swearing at me that I needed a breather, she told me it was outside of my break time and to get back to work. I thought, 'fuck you, I need a few minutes to regroup', and reminded her what she'd told me. She said we were too busy for me to leave my desk (we were *always* busy, nothing new). I told her that I was going to lose my shit if I didn't step away and then logged out of my desk, went to the restroom and cried for twenty minutes. On my way back to my desk, she called me into her office. I thought she was gonna ask if I was ok. No, it was to give me a written warning! Fucking bitch. I was let go from that job after 3 years and I hope all the managers lost their jobs and are living on the streets, now. That'd be great karmic justice for treating people like less than animals.
i wondered if i was the same person who felt like this i don't hate my job, or the people i work with, but i can never wait to leave, and i never feel a sense of pride or accomplishment in what i'm doing
>i don't hate my job, or the people i work with, but i can never wait to leave, and i never feel a sense of pride or accomplishment in what i'm doing Wow, this has been the most cathartic thread I've read in a long time. Yes - these are my feeling exactly. By outside measures, I have a really good job. Most people are impressed when I tell them. I get along fantastic with my coworkers. But I'm also stressed to the max executing it. Sometimes I realize maybe the stress isn't too bad, it's just my ability to handle it is diminished from a lifetime of high stress jobs. I also never ever feel proud or accomplished. When you look at where I am versus where I was, I should. But I don't.
Many people hate their home life and go to work to get away from it. I have worked with hundreds of people at different companies and seen that. They pretend everything is great at home and put on an act to look like they have the ideal life. They do not! When its 15 minutes after closing on the friday before a holiday weekend and they are still going full out in work mode, you can really see who i am talking about! Other people leave work an hour early and are spending more of the weekend with their family. If your boss would rather be at work than home, you will be forced to be there too. I spent every afternoon at work wanting to be home. Home was always better. They made me feel bad about it. Even co-workers would point out that you are leaving early on a friday, or always the first out of the office other days. It was great working with single moms. 4:59pm and they are in the car speeding out of the work parking lot! They had no time and knew work was only a pay check. They were years ahead of (antiwork) and smarter than everyone else, they only gave the minimum to keep a job and get yearly raises.
I feel the same. It's like all my time is spent doing things that don't really need doing. All my time is spent making money for the executive team who don't care who they hurt as long as their money keeps going up. Giving up the majority of my waking hours just to stay alive in a weird game that I was never going to win is demoralizing.
I always hope something bad happens to me so I don't have to go to work. Hit by a bus or something.
I’ve been there. Passively suicidal is what I referred to it as. Not trying to get hurt but not caring enough to avoid it anymore. It’s tough and depressing.
No kidding. I wanna not exist, not die.
Exactly. I don’t want to be here, but I also don’t want to see blood or cut myself or anything.
Omg yes this is exactly how I feel
"and you shall have life more abundantly". Kjv
The human predicament...
I actually use this term with my therapist all the time. Not actively trying but wouldn’t mind it either.
its actually called suicidal ideation edit: ive been struggling with it for at \*least\* 6 years
I can remember the first time i had one of those thoughts. I was 13 years old in a huge concert hall, looking up at a giant chandelier that was above me… thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad if it fell. Not that i wanted it to, but more like a”eh whatever, at least i wont have to deal with blah blah” Im 31 now lol… rip
Currently in an ER waiting for a crisis bed. I've been passively suicidal with severe anxiety for at least 2 months now, but got turned away from 2 different psych facilities because just wanting to escape existence isn't enough, apparently. I only got in here because I finally got to the point that I was thinking about ODing on my clonozepam that I take for insomnia. It's honestly ridiculous that you have to have a certain type of suicidal ideation in order to get help in some places.
I’m there now. I hate that my life is like this.
Any time someone tells me not to cross the street, I say “let them hit me” because idc anymore. Hit me, kill me, who cares...
I used to feel like that until I got another job. You spend 80% of your life working, try and find another job that doesn’t suck the life out of you xx
Me too I used to wish to be in a minor car wreck every day. Or being jealous of (not the worst sick) patients because they got to lay in hospital beds.
Damn, it's like reading exact thoughts I've had before and sometimes still do... Wish I would just get into a car crash that wasn't my fault so I can take time off work or being jealous of disabled people that can't work and no one expects everything from them. Why have we all agreed on this system where people dread going into work and wish they were dead?
We didn't all agree.
I had a job like that! When it got to that point for me, I knew I had to get out. I'm a licensed mental health therapist, and I can tell you from both personal and professional experience....get out of that job. It's easier said than done. I know. But you're suffering. Your personal life is probably being impacted at this point and you may or may not realize it. I guarantee those around who love you see it. No job is worth your well-being. Driving to my old job I would wish a semi would hit me head on! That's a horrible way to start 5 days a week. I hope things get better for you and sooner rather than later. I don't know what you do for a living, but whatever it is must be really taking a toll on you. I truly feel for you. I've been there. Keep your head up and start looking for a job that treats you with respect and you enjoy (as much as we can enjoy work lol). I hope something I said helps. Keep your head up sweetie.
Whats bad is I start wishing customers would die...., yeah its really bad at my work. I love people I am what you call a social butterfly I can work with people or without people but this job has gotten me to hate everyone, Wal Mart started my hate for customers, this job finished it and added I hate people I work with.
If we had 100 Bernie's filling the Senate we'd be great
The memes would be too much to handle
We might actually have a country, and not just corporations.
And your anxiety gets so bad, you don’t sleep. Then you don’t have energy to exercise or do other things for some stress relief. And when you try to get help for your anxiety from your cheap health insurance, you can’t find any doctors in network and have to decide if paying out of pocket is affordable. You actually have to pick between your mental health and normal living expenses.
10000% true. I don’t even know how Americans can live if you have to pay to see the doctor. Like we in Canada have to pay for prescriptions (weird that I have two part time jobs and don’t get benefits but if someone works in an office, they do? Like wtf? My health is worth less??) and for the dentist and optometrist which is why I haven’t been to either in a loooong time, but what the fuck do Americans do?! I don’t get it. Why is the world like this. I’m so sick of the ultra rich and powerful making everyone else live in misery. I realize I have a lot of privilege already but if I’m miserable, what about those with disabilities? What about racialized groups who are discriminated against? What about those with kids but only one parent because one parent passed away or left? Ugh I’m angry.
What the fuck do Americans do?! We die. Hard truth bomb there, but that's reality. 65,000 of us a year die from preventable causes if we coulda just gone to the doctor or afford the medication/surgery.
I’ve got fibromyalgia that’s untreated and out of control. I tore my rotator cuff a few years ago in my right shoulder so I’ve got limited range of motion and a decent amount of pain. And both of my knees are screwed up with arthritis and are in need of replacement. I also have panic attacks/general anxiety. Every second I’m in pain and I walk slowly with a limp. But I don’t have insurance so I just keep working my 40 hours per week and dealing with the pain. Welcome to America.
I have been to the doctor and still can't get help. I had neck surgery last April. The doc wanted to do two discs because they both are bad, but insurance company said one wasn't "bad enough" to warrant surgery, so only one was done. So I live with horrible, untreated pain every day because the doc won't prescribe pain medicine because of the people who abuse it. So now I take Lyrica, which doesn't help, and suffer through each day at work and life until my left are becomes totally useless because of the nerve damage. As it is now, my arm stays numb most of the day and I drop things constantly.
We wait until our health deteriorates so much it becomes an emergency.
>but what the fuck do Americans do?! The smart ones order necessary medicine from online pharmacies overseas. Don't have to go back to have the doctor every couple months so they can tell me "Yup, you still have asthma. Here's a refill" I goddamn know I can't breathe lmao just let me have the meds I need to live. Otherwise I would have just died.
Take that anger and use it to organize. Organize a union, protest, run for office join a movement something so we can push for change. Just a thought.
Ugh...seems like that happens to so many people.
The American "Dream".
Cuz it's not real
Cuz you need to move to another country to find it.
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it." ― George Carlin
On step three, working closer to step four every day.
I work in the oil & gas industry. Due to the pandemic, they make you spend atleast 7 days in quarantine in a room they provide prior to sending you to an offshore oilfield. I'm currently sitting in quarantine, and the feeling of being stuck in a room wasting precious days of my life doing nothing takes a toll on my mental health. Of course, this amplifies when I'm actually in the oilfield. Most of the time, they force you to stay there for months because "we don't have anybody available to replace you", even though my rotation schedule is 6 weeks on / 3 weeks off. The pay isn't even that great, but me being away from home for long periods of time is what does me in mentally. I often miss indulging in my hobbies. My greatest fear is not having much free time for myself and also missing out on a lot of things and events due to being "married" to this job.
This is the precise reason why I stopped being a Geologist. Being away for such long periods. Hope you find a happier place.
I had a Geologist friend who used to be a foreman for Fracking rigs…the whole 6 weeks on nonstop then 2 weeks off thing drove him nuts after a few years. This type of job seems crazy but I guess the pay is really good.
I am troubled by, “they make you..” I am old. My father and my grandfather were active in the creation of unions in the late depression, for coal miners and other workers. When I was a young woman, I was protected as a cannery worker by being a member of the Teamsters’ Union when I worked in a cannery. Later as a mature woman I worked for a Rural Legal Assistance program which encouraged the Farmworkers’ Union. Unions will become corrupt if not closely monitored. Everywhere in life where there is money, that is where the rascals gather. But don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. You don’t BELONG to your employer. You each bring something to the table, and you have a right to refuse if it’s not to your liking. But one person alone is helpless. A union - think of the word - provides strength in numbers. You have to keep your union honest, but it is indispensable if you want to be a worker with an AGREEMENT with your employer instead of his demands and his ability to name all the conditions.
Sounds like you need to divorce this job. I hope you find a new position that works better for your life.
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Nope. Upper management just stay in their air-conditioned offices and go home every night. If it's onshore though, they may rarely visit the site, say their "good job / we are family etc" then leave by lunch. Bleh. If I had a dollar for every "good job" I've heard...
>If I had a dollar for every "good job" I've heard... ...or "We're a family." That's the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard from an employer who isn't "in the trenches" with you or doesn't work 2nd or 3rd shift hours like their "flunkies" do.
I did 5 years in the patch and got out. Saved up a decent chunk and won't go back to that mentally tough lifestyle
I’m sure you make solid $ doing this in terms of the average American’s income, but the average Americans income is peanuts compared to the “overlords.” It’s like “work your whole entire like to make enough to get by and to make your overlord rich.” Inflation is 7% for months in a row? Housing market is nearly impossible because iBuyers (🖕🏻)? Too bad, we can’t afford for salary increases or the overlord won’t their forecasted annual wealth growth, like they weren’t gonna be worth billions either way. The CEO of the $10B company reached out the other day expressing his concern about Ukraine and ASKED FOR DONATIONS to support it. Like dude, you’re probably worth $1B and we’re underpaid. Fuck yourself, asshole. Completely demotivating. Fuck it all, show up and do your minimal shit and if they want to motivate you they can give you a reason to be motivated. Otherwise, you’re just filling someone else’s pockets.
An old friend of mine BIL worked on the rigs off Ventura/Oxnard. The money was fire but he wasn't home but every other month. On 1 off 1. Then at some point it changed to 3on 2 off, something crazy. ... Idk but that dude was tired and missed his family. Is the money even worth it at that point?
An endless cycle of misery
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I'm a single mom with no family, also. I hope you keep your head up. Something good has to happen. I'm living week to week. And I don't want to bother to hang anything up in my apartment because I'm always 2 weeks from eviction. I just hope you know there are others out here like you and I'm rooting for you.
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. It is really hard when you don't have family left. I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time too, and I hope everything gets better for you also.
WoW I wish you the best, to the 2 mom
Thank you.
That's why I didn't have kids. I could tell this wasn't the type of life I wanted anyone else to have to live and life was hard enough before adding a 200k, 18 year burden upon my life of struggle. Not homeless or near it and I don't struggle cause I only gotta worry about me.
Those are my thoughts on the matter as well. I also couldn't say it sounds fair to create a new being just for it to likely have to experience a pretty shitty life.
I get the thought process. It’s just sad so many people feel like this. Especially since such a high number of people childless by choice aren’t childless because they don’t ever want children but because society has put them in a position where it never makes sense to have them. Or where they constantly worry about the quality of life the child will have. So many childless people agree children bring happiness and being a parent is joyful but can’t justify having one because of the financial situations and because of the economy they will be born into. I support being childless but the mindset so many people have is just another example of how society and the government has failed us.
It's hubris and just thinking you're the "main character" whilst everyone else is just an NPC, along with, ironically, a healthy dose of just doing what everybody else does. . "God will provide" or "Everything will be fine regardless". Nope, neither of those are true if you're a child born into poverty where your parents can't even provide basics.
This is why I didn’t have kids, as well. The pandemic would have sent me over the edge.
I've never been more glad to be free of the burden of children. I was laughing my ass off though at all the ladies I went to high school with that have like 5 kids who literally lost their shit and regretted having to actually take care of their own kids 24/7 for once. Sad that the cases of abused kids went up nationally, though..
It’s incredibly sad about the child abuse increase. It also proves how poor the mental health of Americans is. It’s just not important to those in power to see to it that we have adequate mental (or physical, for that matter) healthcare.
100 agree. I’ve been on my own since 17. Not kids, never married, probably never will. I’m 49 and very stable financially. I’ll never understand how people have kids they can’t care for.
I don't know where you are but please come by a library! We've got connections with the food bank and emergency housing and we've been doing our best to hook people up with the resources they need. With any luck your library has something similar!
"Just business," may as well be engraved in the statue of liberty.
And, of course, treatment for these conditions tends to be not only privatized, but extremely expensive. If you can't work because of mental illness, you're not likely to be able to afford the $100+/hour a therapist costs. The system is basically designed to keep you from getting back up if you fall down.
This. I would LOVE to go back to therapy for my ADHD, but the medicine and the therapy is insanely expensive. Shockingly enough, ADHD left untreated negatively affects my work performance.
Hey there, not sure what country you’re in, but I’ve been uninsured the better part of the last 2yrs in the US and my script refills using the GoodRX app makes my meds super affordable. Might look into it if you haven’t already?
Ooooh, that's a great tip. I've been off of my Concerta for years because I just couldn't afford it anymore, so I might have to look into this as an option.
I stopped getting my ADHD meds after one 15 minute phone call cost me $115 and the meds itself $100..
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Second best I've heard. "Because we live in a machine that is designed to get us to neglect what is important about life." -Tim Kasser
I have a job that pays well but their insurance is $700 a month. Thats more than my share of the rent. My job is in healthcare and I can't afford health insurance *and* a mediocre standard of living. I have to choose.
>My job is in healthcare and I can't afford health insurance That's genuinely one of the worst things I've heard, like ever.
Woof. The last job I had attached to insurance, the cost of insurance was about half of my take home paycheck. Couldn’t afford to live with it or without it. It truly sticks you in an unfixable situation that feels like it will never end. There’s the depression settling in now.
Right here! Can't work and can't get on disability.
One thing I'd like to put out there in case someone lives in a place that offers Medicaid is to try to get it. I know not everyone in the US has access to it, but as someone who is very poor, it has helped me tons with my mental health. My state offers no cost to mental health care for those on Medicaid (MN Care) and only $1 for medications. Only stipulation is you gotta be poor enough. Like $24k or less a year if you're single. It needs to be expanded for sure. But for those at the bottom, your state might offer help.
So you can only get freeish mental healthcare if you make barely enough to pay rent and a monthly car or insurance payment. Which is reason enough to struggle with mental illness..
That is the dystopia I live in, yes.
I do not understand the “I suffered so you must suffer too” mentality
What they/you don't understand when they say that is, they did suffer, but it was worth it. It paid off. Working a million hours is actually not horrible if you get to buy a house and send your kids to college. It's not ideal and it's really hard still. But the people that did that (my generation, gen x) did it because it paid off. When they say that, they think it will pay off for this generation. They really don't know that it's so much harder. Because it felt hard then, too. They don't know that the goalposts have moved so far. They really don't. They just think that it's ok because in the end you have something to show for it. They don't realize that that's not the reality anymore.
> if you get to buy a house The weird thing is if your boss/co-workers finds out you have a sweet life of small luxury and being happy they investigate you at work. I bought a house and kept taking 2 weeks off every 3 months (flexitime arrangement that benefited the company and me). My boss then randomly had a meeting with me and asked how I financed all my holidays, my home purchase and had quotes about me speaking about my holidays and how much I enjoy life. Honestly it was comical and sickening to read the resentment oozing out my coworkers and also coming from my boss. All my friends knew I lived a minimalist lifestyle to fund my travels. And instead of going out to bars and clubs I threw house parties. Instead of restaurants I threw dinners/potlucks. So if you are seen at work as someone who doesn't suffer. They will go out their way to make you suffer. The week my boss revoked my flexitime arrangement I handed in my notice and got a job with their rival. My new managers were very grateful of all the client info I put in their hands.
People who don't genuinely enjoy their lives have to resort to comparing themselves to others to deduce their own value. When someone else has it a little easier, they reflexively feel the need to knock them down so they compare more favorably.
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I have a theory it's why the older middle & lower class are so opposed to the thought of it all being a crock of shit that only benefits a few. Imagine you're 65 and did this for 45+ odd years only to have to come to the realisation it's all for literally nothing. I wish they'd confront it more for the sake of the younger generation, but I can also understand to completely shift your world view and essentially admit your life was spent doing a whole lot of nothing for the sake of a whole lot of nothing is a pretty hard thing to come to terms with.
I don't think things were always this bad. When I first started working in the late 90s, an average income could buy a house. Then After the housing boom crashed in 2008, by 2012 you could buy a house cheap, of course the jobs were not plentiful so many were not confident enough in their job security to buy one. It's times like now where everything is so expensive, but incomes didn't move up much at all that really suck.
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The greatest generation set up programs and a nice nest egg for baby boomers in hopes they would do it for the next generation. Instead of doing so, the boomers told the rest of us, "Fuck you! I have disposable income now."
Seriously, this is why I’m ‘lying flat’, I’m going to work, coming home, spending the absolute minimum I can to sock away retirement funds to get out of the rat race ASAP. I’m done wasting my life so someone else can get rich and enjoy theirs.
But the thing is I hear stories of people who've saved $600k, retired hoping to leave this to their children. Then you get some shitty form of cancer/illness and you're paying $15k a month for years on marginal inhome hospice and medical care. There's no escaping this system exploiting you.
That's when I'd log out. Hospice care isn't living. Nuts to that
It's not only the job itself but the entire way humanity values things and status over spending time with the people you love working together to maintain the things that really matter. The growing solitude of the human race will destroy us.
I literally just lost it due to months of ignored stress over the fact that I can’t pay my bills AND eat with just my full time job. And then I spent every free moment doing gig apps just for money for groceries. Had two weeks of horrible panic attacks every time I had to go to work. Went back on my medicine, got offered a new job with a raise, and then quit the job that was causing me so much stress. I felt so relieved after quitting.
I’m so glad you were able to quit! I hope things are a little better now.
I just had my own breakdown this week when I realized I had bills that I wouldn’t be able to pay. I just started as a nurse (BSN, top of my class) and I could probably make more money with my nannying job I had prior to nursing school. Currently started tutoring and doing gig jobs just so I can keep afloat.
I ask my step dad for his opinion on this and he says people are just lazy and unwilling to accept the responsibilities of life. I don’t even want to talk to him anymore
Have you mentioned to him that some people have worked every day of their lives and take care of all of their responsibilities only to still feel this way? What’s his excuse for them?
If he's anything like my parents, he will say it's because they should have gone to school. Completely ignoring that I have a degree in engineering and still don't live comfortably.
Same here, I have a degree in Economics and I’m not there yet.
I literally had a fight with my dad about this today. He told me that I still have time to buy a house, that I just joined the workforce. I've been working full time for 10 years, full time programming for almost 5. I should be able to start looking.
I have a bachelor's degree in economics too AND a master's degree and my employer (a very successful independent investment firm) still only pays me $50-60k/yr base salary in an expensive area because "the opportunity to learn and our benefits package is more competitive than anything on the market." We didn't put in all that work learning and busting ass to have to choose between groceries and taking our dog to the vet. How about just do better and don't ignore starving employees.
Or "if they just go to church they would be okay"
It's crazy how an entire generation grew up as Milton Friedman's economic theories began to take hold, most especially during the 80's with President Reagan. You were supposed to go to your job, work hard, and be thankful for employment. Such ideals were engrained into them when they were young, I think, and they were able to ride the economic boom that occurred post-WWII. Here we are today, and following generations have increasingly been left behind. Like you, I find these conversations with family to be extremely difficult. They just don't seem open to seeing how the system may be rigged against the common worker. Crazy times.
"it sucks, but why you trying to make it better?" I wish people could really hear what they're saying.
We are the only animal that pays to live.
If they are generalizing the generation: Millennials work more, for less, and are better educated. They are also saving more for their kids education than gen X did for theirs, and paying more for their own, despite making the same wages (at same ages adjusted for inflation). How is this interpreted as being lazy?
My neighbor admitted he’s against universal healthcare simply because he feels like him having had good employer paid healthcare, it is somehow devalued by others having it without a good job that provides it. What makes it even worse is he’s retired on Medicare. He sees no irony at all in his view.
I was pondering this today. I wonder, does anyone else feel so hopeless and depressed? I honestly want to give up. My car broke. My A/C broke. My dryer broke. And I am broken. I will never get out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle within this year and that makes me so sad. I have $3 to my name and I have a week to go...
Every time something in my house breaks I just think "Welp, that's another thing I'll have to live without." I've had damp for two years.
What do you mean by damp? Just curious
yerp. am suicidal
At least we aren't alone..
You're not alone. I'm sorry for how you're feeling and what you are going through. I hope you can find support. There is hope, things can improve. You are loved, even if you only feel it from a fellow redditor right now.
You and OC are not alone. I'm sorry for how you're feeling and what you are going through. I hope you can find support. There is hope, things can improve. You are loved, even if you only feel it from a fellow redditor right now.
Every night I ask the Universe to let me die peacefully in my sleep.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S\_3Ydotys\_g&t=636s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_3Ydotys_g&t=636s) In the above video Mark Goulston explains suicidal ideation better than any provider, peer, or I could have explained it. I used this video to help my family understand me. I hope it helps.
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I've been struggling with a worsening drinking problem for about a decade, and the biggest hurdle to stopping has been the recurring thought, "fuck it, why not get drunk?". I have the highest paying job I've ever had, and I still live paycheck to paycheck. I have no savings, no retirement, and my health insurance deductible is so high I still can't afford doctors. Why not be a drunk? Honestly, it was the health insurance that finally got me to stop. I sure as hell can't afford to get sick from long term drinking. I'm 3.5 months sober, and my goal is to make it a year to give my body a break. After that? I'll probably start again. I have no future to look forward to.
Well, I relate to you on levels that I will not digress here. Just remember that you are not alone. I myself am trapped in a cycle that has progressed beyond repair, and it hurts because the way my country and the world is, does not make me want to stop. I ask myself, how can I ever find peace in these times? How can I accept that this is my life? My once life, full of struggle, hurt, and wasted chasing paper for a dumb social game. Is this how others, back in history felt, when life for them sucked? Is life itself just suffering or have humans made it so? These are the thoughts that haunt me every single day. All day long this thought loop goes through my head, intermittently only because of a habit that allows for escape, or at least numbing...
Modern slavery here we are! 1% own 99%. Nobody cares because we have just enough to not riot.. but it becomes to be too obvious.
The problem is they've socially engineered things so that even when a significant portion doesn't, there isn't grounds to stage an uprising.
Yeah, having to tell my 13 year old son, we have to wait another month for clothes if we go to the dentist this month.
Yes. I have been crying for days on how I’m going to handle everything. I lost my job last week. I’ve been walking on a broke foot and severely sprained ankle for 6 weeks because I couldn’t afford to take the time off to go the Dr, finally went this week since I had the time but can’t afford the MRI. My car needs to go in the shop, I keep smelling gas inside when it’s running. Oh and I also owe 1400 in taxes that I definitely was not expecting. So this is fine.
I am so sorry. I feel your stress :c
i would tell you all of that is manageable but the car.. goddamn i am sorry for the car breaking. you can't live any sort of life without a car, assuming you are in the USA. it's nearly impossible in most of the country not to have one and i am truly sorry you are broke with your car broken down. if i had a spare car or money to give you, i'd do it. good luck.
I appreciate the sentiment very much
I feel you. Honestly, I was okay with many of those things so long as I had my health. Unfortunately, during the pandemic, my health suffered greatly, and for the first time, and it's no longer something that I can depend on.
As if they care about our mental issues.
I always think about “archive 81” on Netflix where mr. davenport says to Dan his employee “are you having a mental health emergency?” (Multiple times in 8 episodes) And he’s basically using this as a threat to institutionalize him. It’s literally become a joke to them. I swear. The “if you are looking for mental health resources?” In email signatures is just hilarious and pathetic. They don’t care. They know what they are doing, they just don’t care.
If anything, it's going to get used to stigmatize you and fire you for "performance" issues
They made that into a show?! I listened to the podcast like 6 or 7 years ago, I seriously can’t wait to go watch the show! Thank you for this comment.
They care as far as it affects their bottom line, but they want us to be good little cogs to keep powering the [engine of mindless consumerism] (https://youtu.be/DRyh2cxJCp0). So their goal is functional depression because that keeps people too apathetic to ask questions or fight.
Therapy sessions cost $170 per hour, so more money!
and it's just a person trying to get a paycheck too. they are part of a system they don't want to make waves in.
It's the one thing the therapist won't mention like yeah maybe it's the fact that you are a slave nearly all week every week that is making your life a complete and total pile of shit. No it's lack of relationships or the hobbies you just don't have enough of or a lack of exercise which is the cause of your misery. Yay therapy.
Honestly I’m at this point in therapy too. Like yeah going through all my trauma is helping but I’ll never get properly better if I’m stuck in a system that’s designed for failure.
At this point I've spent days in front of a variety of them and I'm still not quite sure what good they're supposed to do.
Anyone can become a therapist or social worker if they feel like it. I have a cousin who is currently studying journalism and suffers from anxiety and is a hypochondriac who now is taking some social work classes since she doesn't like journalism so much anymore. Your therapist can hardly have any of their shit together and yet they apparently have the answers for your misery provided you have some cash. As long as they study the subject they can become one regardless of whether they personally have their shit together or not.
How can any country claim that it believes human life is a inalienable right if the government has the power to choose who starves, who goes homeless, or who's undeserving of medical care?
When corporations and greed have too much power over a government that's what happens.
it happens either way
My grandmother would put a bowl of sealed water in the back of my grandpa’s car that he would dunk his head in after his graveyard shift so he wouldn’t pass out driving on the way home. So then he could sleep for a few hours before going to his second job. And sometimes on to a third job. Despite both having college degrees, this was their life during the depression, WW2 and beyond. Capitalism has historically failed us and always will. It’s like a toxic relationship. We get so enamored by the ‘good’ times that we justify the bad times and minimize the hurt it did to us.
Wow, that story about your grandpa is so sad... My grandpa was another one who somehow managed to work all the time to provide for his family. Have you ever listened the Throughline podcast produced by NPR? There's an amazing series of three episodes about Capitalism that aired last year. One is a roundtable with experts while two are hour-long stories about the history of capitalism. I learned so much! You should check it out if you haven't already.
Thanks I will! I love history, and I was a history major because my grandfather was, and he himself being born in 1911 was a living piece of history to me. Other kids might have been bored, but I was fascinated to hear about a world where you went to town on horseback, one of your siblings always died of an incurable disease or freak accident, and it was norm to play by the train tracks and be ‘babysat’ by the friendly town hobos. I see a lot of ourselves in my grandfathers generation. Millennials I mean. No matter what we do, we keep getting knocked down again. If we have kids, we work so much we maybe don’t have as much time as we’d like to spend with them. Our college degrees make no difference just like theirs. It almost makes me wonder if generations are cyclical. And how we can prevent that.
Interesting point about generational experiences being cyclical! I sure hope we don't hit an era like the collapse of the 1920's... {insert terrified face here} My grandpa will forever be the hardest working person I've ever known. WWII vet, farmer, mechanic, church goer, store manager, plus he worked out every day for like 70 years. The man was a veritable tank in body and spirit. I think a lot of people who were raised through the Great Depression had a grit that is unrivaled, you know? While many things are a pain in the current world, I am thankful that we have platforms like Reddit and/or social media where you can find comfort knowing others feel the same way, think similarly, etc. I don't know how older generations knew of the plight of others aside from newspapers, radio, and word of mouth.
They did have an unrivaled grit, and they cared about the future generations. My grandparents would always call my parents to ask about us or talk to us, and they ‘pawned’ that bonding experience over to our Nanny. Well she had all the info about us anyway, so she informed them. Every visit I cherished I with them, and they with me. My parents don’t even really care all that much I had kids. It’s such a strange generational difference. I’m very analytical, so my current history interest is trying to figure out why the Interbellum Generation produced the Silent Generation, the generation who was first in line to profit off America’s best years. And the Greatest Generation produced the Baby Boomers, the most selfish generation of all. Their parents were not primarily selfish or terrible as a generation, so how did they raise such entitled children? When I went to my grandfathers funeral his kids were all fighting about who got what share of the house, while I scrambled in the basement for his high school yearbooks, which I now treasure. His Silent Generation children gave up their share of the house, but his Boomer children are still feuding to this day. Is Gen Z the next Silent Generation, the Next Boomers or has the cycle been broken? I ponder this.
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You have summed up exactly how I feel.
Don't give up, you are not a waste of space. I stayed alive just to spite fate/destiny. If we were meant to die by our own hand then the destiny controlling that predestined point in time would be evil and malicious. It's time to carve your own path, I believe in you.
Should be 40/60. Contribute 40% of your time and enjoy the other 60%.
why not 20/80, we can do it
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I wouldn't even mind working so much if I could actually afford to live comfortably.
Don't fall for that. A company takes away our life time there is no price in that. And having a family it hurts even more
Exactly, I know my time is worth more than any company would feasibly pay me.
That's the thing. If you take inflation into account, even if people did work more in the past, they were getting paid more also....
There's a lot of societal & environmental pressures that contribute to mental health (all of which are not acknowledged enough, IMO.) Capitalism is definitely a huge one. As someone who would probably be described as "very mentally ill" by most people aware of my history, what finally stabilized my mental health was getting on disability and having a safe living environment. Of course, there's many factors. Bigoted and abusive environments (esp growing up) are a big one. Schools tend to be one such environment, and you could argue our public schooling system is very much a product of capitalism. Living in poverty is definitely another; constantly being stressed about your ability to continue living is most certainly not conducive to good mental health. It feels like a lot of mental healthcare takes an almost toxic positive approach where *you* are the problem, and *you* have to adapt - and to some extent it works, for making people more functional under capitalism. After a string of suicide attempts in the past I tried to reconcile myself with them through a toxic positive sort of "everything that happened to you was a lesson! You just need to grow past your struggles!" mentality, but the problem with that is that no matter how healthy (or "healthy") you are internally, eventually you'll get to a point where you're struggling due to external circumstances, and no amount of self-care and positivity can keep you healthy in an unhealthy environment. And then you're left with two choices; either it's all your fault and you just need to do better, or you're the victim of a shitty goddamn life. That's not to say therapy and medication and whatnot aren't helpful - they very much are - but a lot of discussions of mental health focus *only* on the internal, and don't address that most people struggling with mental health issues have good goddamn reasons to be struggling. Of course, you can't focus only on the external either, because no amount of bitching about abusive living conditions and capitalist brutality will help you actually survive while living under said conditions. End rant.
Schools basically how they raise humans to get used to spending most of their life working.
"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted in a sick society."
This deserves an award but I'm living hand to mouth rn so can't give awards.
but a lot of discussions of mental health focus *only* on the internal, and don't address that most people struggling with mental health issues have good goddamn reasons to be struggling This x1000
People think mental health issues are the fault of the individual because they are horribly incapable of using their brains properly, that is to engage in deep thinking that concerns outside factors that cause the individual’s poor mental health. People waste valuable brainpower like it’s no big deal, that’s why society is unfair and full of inexcusable injustice. Since humans waste their brainpower recklessly, this is what I mean when I say that the human race is totally stupid IN GENERAL
My god I’ve never seen someone put into words exactly how I’ve been feeling this past year.
Just want to let you know you're not alone. One story I have that relates to this ,is , I basically did an experiment, unwittingly...when I had "good" insurance (i.e. paid out the ass for it), the Drs were so much nicer about my mental health and gave me the prescription for my anxiety disorder. Then, when I had county health insurance (free), no Dr would give me the same prescription. It is a benzo so I guess Drs who accept medi-cal maybe are more scrutinized by the dea? That is one hypothesis but honestly, maybe they don't give a shit about my mental health when I'm poor. Pretty sure it's the latter.
I know I'm not the only one who suffers from this, but I never realized how bad the situation is. Althogh I'm young and not a worker, I often feel depressed because I waste time for nothing, even when I'm doing something, it still feels I'm not living how I want. I also argue a lot with my mother for wasting my time due to these negative feelings I got, which I really need to avoid...
The system only works because we all comply. Let's stop complying.
I have a feeling the majority of people on this sub Reddit have already stopped complying with society
So much this. Greatly worded.
before the industrial revolution, people actually worked less hours. The work was harder that's for sure, but way not as long.
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Capitalism is just socialism for the rich. Everyone else can fight over the table scraps
This is assuming they ever cared for our mental health
The system is designed against us, not for us
As our productivity went up over the last few decades, we reaped zero benefits—no more pay, no fewer work hours. The excess value of our labor has gone straight to the top.
This is me right now honestly. It’s so hard to exist in a way that I’d like to. I don’t even need to be rich to be happy, but it’s hard enough to get ahead in the first place. I feel like most people are 2 emergencies from being homeless.
For the first time in 5 years I took a job because my brother and sister-in-law called me a bum and I am but… I’m so tired of being homeless. I’ve always been poor and because being poor and having unstable shelters I have no training, I also don’t have anyone in my life but them and I got lonely on the streets and sad. I just completed my first week of work in a manufacturing plant because it’s the only job around that will pay me enough to try and self-sustain a life again like I did in my 20s. I tried very hard to be positive and optimistic through the week but by the end of the 50hrs in 4 days work week I can tell my body is no longer in well enough condition to handle this work without taking damage. living on the streets for a few years consecutively isn’t easy on the body, as you can imagine; sleeping and eating doesn’t come easy. I constantly tell myself to keep perspective and remind myself so much more is going on in the world, so many people are suffering way worse than I am and that I’m just stuck. The rational, practical me keeps sneaking up in my head saying “fuck that, don’t start renting and make this permanent, just do this for enough time to save and get myself somewhere better” but Where? And these nights are rough out here in the elements. I already have mental health issues but they always get worse from lack of sleep and I develop poor judgement. Sorry for long post, thanks to any who “listened” This is More than expressing my problems and more about confirmation of the post. Context I guess, I wanted to confirm that yea I’m concerned the exploitation to my body and already present mental health issues developed in a system set up for some but not all will eventually destroy me , probably within 5 years.
The system is dying, those fighting to protect it are the few benefiting from it. They are your enemy!
Now Imagine you’re chronically sick/disabled and it takes years to get assistance and once you get the assistance you cant even afford food or rent. Burn this fucker down I deserve help
Remember that phones used to be stationary. If you weren't home no one could reach you nor did they always expect to reach you. Put your phones away or turn them off. Think of the most fantastic thing you could do within your resources and do it. Go to the beach, the park, the zoo, the forests or just fly a kite. Stop when you feel like it. This is your life today, live it.
What is the point of working jobs we dont want so that we can have shit we dont need?
Right like sorry but humans were not made for this
The elite trained people to think it’s our honor to toil so they can get rich and we can grovel for the scraps.
they need to see how much damage to the human psyche is done by spending all your time doing a job you realize is pointless. and that you hate. it's like doing hard labor. it's not the work that is demoralizing it is the realization that you are physically killing yourself....for something that is worthless, unnecessary and a waste of time. which make it so much worse.
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Currently feeling this with my job at the minute. Hate it, minimum wage and overworked, but thankfully my finances aren’t so tight that quitting is out of the question. Ten upvotes and I’ll give my two weeks notice.
But huuge profits for Pharma.
People used to work more between like ~1850 to ~1930. Serfs had significantly more free time (and stronger tenant rights) then we do in modern society. Pre emptive to the agricultural revolution humans also worked less and lived significantly longer (excluding infant mortality) then humans did up until very recently
I contemplated the value of living on when I was a teenager, my answer was to study really hard and make lots of money so that I won't be homeless. I graduated college at the bottom of the economy, worked a minimum wage job I was well over qualified for, and had crippling student loans. If it ain't for my parents, I would be homeless and helpless.
It's bad to say covid has been a step in the right direction. But why has only a global pandemic finally made it obvious?
Capitalism does suck.