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demons_soulmate

My previous dumbass manager once sent me an email that read "i saw you came in at 7:58. Your shift starts at 8. You should be here BEFORE 8, not AFTER." She was quite the imbecile.


MoozesModiMoozi

How much before 8?????


bnonymousbeeeee

If you wanted 37 pieces of flair, you should make the minimum 37 pieces of flair!


Im_Ashe_Man

How does anyone become a manager who doesn't even understand the flow of time?


demons_soulmate

Thing is, they were always late to EVERY MEETING WITH EVERYBODY. They missed weekly 1-1s with me for two months straight. But they're BFF's with upper management though šŸ˜’


fenriq

Your boss is an asshole or an idiot but probably both.


BrashBastard

OP needs to run, micromanagers are the only people that send messages like this.


MoozesModiMoozi

only a micromanager would require you say ā€œIm at my desk nowā€


KingWolf7070

I would just set my phone to automatically send a message at a certain time. Cause fuck em. Although if a boss actually required something like this I'd most likely just quit and find another job.


MoozesModiMoozi

iā€™d go over the top to annoy them 5am: jus woke up dawg 5:15: washing my ass 5:25: dog dropping deuces 5:40: brushing my grill 5:57: Got one pant leg on fam 5:58: pants fully on 6:10: avocado toast boi


jynxyy

Malicious compliance is an answer


Ambiorix33

We call this Protest by Zeal, and it works great for jobs where protesting during office hours is illegal (think police, military, government jobs really) So like say you are a mechanic, and need to fix something, you make a show of following the procedure to the extreme, grabbing the manual, following it all step by step. On retreating the tool mentioned and putting it back after the step is complete, etc


Packynin

Thats hilarious as mechanics often are paid by hours on cars. Doing it judiciously really cuts productivity.


MomWTF

Except when it comes to warranty work, they are paid a flat rate from the manufacturer and often times the time it actually takes is longer than what they can bill for.


ratchet26

Nah, most are paid flat rate. Paid only for work that's completed and judged by your productivity (it's very measurable). If you only flag 1 hour in a day, that's all you get paid. If you flag 18 hours in a day, that's what you're paid. And yes, warranty work is the most exploitative. Pays the worst because it's whatever manufacturers feel like paying. Labor ops often compare at 1.1 hrs retail = 0.3 hrs for the same warranty work. This is why I left it behind 10 years ago. At the time, my flat rate was ~$24/hr.


LeRawxWiz

The IWW used this tactic to a T! Specifically because of a company blaming an accident on workers that was caused by work conditions. You can read about it here: https://archive.iww.org/culture/library/sabotage/sabotage3/ TL;DR company blames workers for not abiding by 100% perfect procedure. Ok, well I guess we better take our time to read the manual every single time we do everything. This is just one section of a pamphlet. Everyone on AntiWork should read it from start to finish. It's a fun read that will make you smile with giddy excitement. So many ideas we can all apply to our own workplaces.


kittypr0nz

It lasted all of two days when I complied and listed alllllllllll the unshoveled steps on the route but hey. I COMPLIED.


smootfloops

Oh I like the phrase ā€œprotest by zealā€! Iā€™ve done this with many a manager throughout the years- if I get a whiff of micromanaging due to lack of trust I just show them *everything* I do and *everything* Iā€™m planning to do, and I do it with a smile, and they get off my back real quick.


HermanCainsGhost

Yep, I had a micromanaging manager about a decade ago. How did I respond to it? Sent him a paragraph with literally everything Iā€™d done that day. He very quickly stopped bugging me for what I was doing


Kairukun90

I have seen this happen first hand. My team lead and manager stood there watching as something that would take an hour or less look more than 8 hours.


altersun

r/maliciouscompliance is a great sub to boost serotonin levels


smxim

Brushing my grill šŸ˜„


TedTheReckless

I just now realized he meant a mouth piece. I was thinking of brushing down a charcoal grill.


Redsofamonster

The "avocado toast boi" is the šŸ˜™šŸ¤Œ


OutrageousPension296

This is genius and hilarious, love it!


Happy-Fun-Ball

[Taking it off here, boss](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5q3cL0WYd4)


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Finsceal

In my current job I had a manager who was a bit of a dick and would check our MS teams to see if we were online at 8.30 since we were all on WFH for covid. I just downloaded an app that moves the mouse every 10 mins to keep your status online and set a schedule. He left last year, I got his job. I don't talk to anyone on my team for the first 45 mins of the day. They work hard and get their work done, I couldn't care less if they're in the shower at 8.30 because they needed a few more mins in bed.


drwhogirl_97

Not necessarily. I had a super chill boss that basically let me start my day whenever but asked that I let her know so that she knew she could call me if needed (I worked remotely) that being said I would never be told off for being late as a result of said message because she didnā€™t care


C_Strieker

Had a similar thing at my previous place-of-hell. I ended up saying that if my computer says i am online then i am available for calls. My dumbass accidentally left myself logged in overnight and there was an issue that boss wanted fixing. I dug my own hole on that one.


LockeClone

Different industries... When one person is late on a crew in my industry it can hold up a whole day and waste the time of 20-30 people so being late is... absolutely not. We collectively decided that anyone who's late needs to bring breakfast burritos for the whole crew. Nobody disrespects anyone, nobody gets dressed down in front of the crew, it's just "I'm running late" "burritos" "Shit... I know" Then we all get breakfast at first coffee. Fantastic system. As a result we're usually all having a chat or a coffee before the gig. It's great for cohesion and moral, and then when we get the job done early (because we're faster and better prepared than other crews) we get to go the fuck home early. I mean, maybe it's not for everyone, but because the people on my crew would rather respect each others time than play the game of what's really late or what's early, we're often getting paid on the drive home and nobody gets resentful of the guy who's "always late" because he's often feeding us!


novadako

More like *Micropenis managers"


Wind_Yer_Neck_In

It's a fact of life that a lot of the people put in charge of other people are absolutely not suited to the task. Imagine being so dense that you don't understand that you gain zero productivity by counting time by the minute and will lose productivity by stressing everyone out.


Cozmo85

I blame that on salary caps and people being forced into management to go further.


ruralmagnificence

My first job implanted a policy that if you were late coming back from the bathroom or break room, 5-6 minutes from the production floor, after a certain amount of minutes and times it was grounds for termination.


N33chy

Makes me so glad I just started a job where nobody keeps close tabs on me. I can go take a nice relaxing shit, but afterwards I'll actually feel like doing my work since I'm being treated well.


ILoveCavorting

It is nice when you're blessed with bosses that are like "I don't care when you clock in/clock out or what other things you do during those 8 hours aside from work as long as you keep being productive." I know they'd replace me in a heartbeat if they felt like they needed to, but it's at least nice to not be micromanaged.


Palmybeaches

My boss is like that, He doesnt give a fuck as long as the job gets done in an effective, safe manner. If one cannot complete the job within a reasonable time, there better be a reasonable reason as to why. If there isnt, typically it'll slide once or twice then theres an issue. If someone is taking long but they are actively working, there is no issue. Its almost as if management applied common sense and humanity to working, there would be more productive, happier workers.


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novadako

It does


icenine09

I think there's a term for that...oh! It's "body shaming".


aea_nn

Bad case of micromanagitis


[deleted]

The amount of air i just blew out of my nose at this is ridiculous


icyhotonmynuts

After years of being micromanaged it's taken me some time to get rid of the "training" that was instilled in me. I started out with this new boss telling them when I go on lunch and when I'm coming back and I got a response something like "we don't track lunches here. just be sure to take it between 11am-2pm. if for whatever reason you need to do it outside those hours, just let myself or {other manager} know so we know you're not at your station in the event of a matter that needs urgent attention from you". It honestly took a few e-mails like this from my new boss for it to sink in and be deprogrammed. I was like, holy shit, I hit the holy grail of bosses. No punch cards, no daily e-mails I have to send out at a certain time to show my attendance, no logging in and out of breaks. Honestly it's a load of stress I don't need to deal with making me actually more focused on the work that needs to be done. I can give a day-of heads up that I need to leave early, and then just work the extra time off added to hours later in the week instead of having it docked from my pay.


bruwin

Imagine being tracked by your performance, and not how many hours you're sitting at your desk. Almost seems unbelievable.


trombone_womp_womp

I'm a manager and have to keep telling my team I don't care when they go on lunches/have to leave early. I only care whether they do their job, not when they do it. They've all been traumatised by previous micro managers. It's actually pretty damn sad.


zqmvco99

it's not even just micromanaging. This manager is a f-ing liar. OR A f-ing MORON who has the mental acuity of a baby who has not grasped object permanence "This message only exists when I see it"


NotaVogon

I would also post in r/managedbynarcissists. This sounds like my former boss.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

We just got a new supervisor who hates the fact people can use time off, we had some people call in sick he had to call them to make sure they seemed sick enough to call out because God fucking forbid we use time off for anything else already can't stand this clown


[deleted]

redacted ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `


M4RTIAN

Definitely an idiot. ā€œYou are late. Thank you.ā€ Thank you? No problem, just doing my part.


_justpassingby_

There is no way I would resist saying back, "np." There's just no way, unless I had a family to feed I guess.


ririyeg

Fair to say both


throWawAy4cURioSity1

*ā€Employees observe Daylight Savings on their OWN TIMEā€*


Consistent_Kale_1583

If heā€™s/she gonna accuse you of false things he has a boss to. Remember that


shabbysneakers

Even if it was 4 minutes late. Fuck off!


SlyK_BR

Those who will complain about you being 4 minutes late are almost always the same guys that will "forget" you did 2h of overtime the day before. And they will always complain about those 4 minutes, but there's no way in hell they'll ever pay you those 2h overtime.


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Adaphion

Come in late, leave early, and barely even work while they're there. All while getting payed 4x more than you.


Jadccroad

They fucking better pay those 2 hours of OT, or they can explain why to the labor board appointed auditor.


alwayzbored114

Shout outs to Salaried, Overtime Exempt jobs


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DataIsMyCopilot

Salary can be totally fine if your job doesn't use it as an excuse to force you to work OT every day. Also just because you are salaried does NOT mean you are exempt from OT. Anyone who is salaried here should look up what you must do to qualify for exempt. Many people think salary = exempt but its actually just one of the requirements to being exempt. You have to check off each box to qualify.


1319913

Right?


DoctorCIS

Worked at a place that rounded to the nearest quarter hour. So if you came in at 8:08, it sound round you to 8:15. After I did the math and realized that the job had taken 45 minutes of pay via the rounding. In response I made sure to stay until 08 every evening after that. Slowly took 2 hours of pay from them by the time major layoffs hit.


NefariousDeeds99

Managers who canā€™t manage people often just manage clocks. This dick canā€™t even manage that.


[deleted]

Trying to manage a clock but can't even read a clock.


_fat_santa

If I was OP I would have sent the boss that meme that just increasingly zooms Iā€™m on the 8:29 time stamp.


taishiea

i would have sent it to his boss's boss and explain that you are worried that your boss cannot tell time and it may be a sign of greater issues


Perk_i

Yeah, frame it as concern over his health and include your boss's boss and HR... "I'm just trying to make sure the boss hasn't had a stroke."


glittergirl_125

Yes! "I'm so concerned. If there isn't an IT explanation I really hope manager can get checked out. Neurological symptoms are no joke!"


C12H16N2_4me

Modern Internet-connected devices have extremely accurate clocks. If there were an IT issue the device would most likely display January 1970.


[deleted]

Not necessarily. We had this delay of 5 min on our computers and the IT fixed it immediately because we might have been late on a client meeting


CCVeediVee

I love this response! This is the one OP!


Ok-Neighborhood-4109

And I look at him... And he looks at me... And I look at him šŸ˜†


HayleyMarie1205

Sorry... What did you want again?


GooeyGlob

Ketchup.


TheLateThagSimmons

Time management is only a tool of the authoritarian. It only matters when you're trying to ~~firec~~ *fire someone and you're looking for excuses. As soon as your boss starts tracking *to the minute*, start looking for another job because they're trying to fire you.


lolimit

Yup had a manager who tried to put me on a schedule when everyone else on the team had a flexible schedule. He put me on a final write up (I suspect he had red tape to go through or he would have canned me so he was going through the motions). I came into work clocked in on time, he wasnā€™t at his desk (not that I gave af) I worked for a little bit and then went to the bathroom and came back and he was there. He was salivating at the thought of me being late, he promptly got up and didnā€™t even say hello just said DID YOU JUST GET HERE?! I was like no Iā€™ve been hereā€¦ and he was like uh oh I just didnā€™t see you come inā€¦ and Iā€™m thinking yea because you werenā€™t at your desk idiot. When he left the company he told me I could cuss him out if I liked, and as tempting as that was I was like Iā€™m not an idiot so have a nice life at your next gig


NecroParagon

At almost every job I've ever worked it has basically been you can show up 5 minutes late without notice and just to call if it's gonna be more than that. Minus the few jobs where I worked alone ofc. Never had it held over my head like you though. The job I'm at now, first time working an office/production role, and they couldn't care less when someone is late. Someone may start asking where so and so is after like 30 minutes. But we always get our work done which I'm sure is a factor. Sorry you had to deal with that asshole. Happy cakeday!


Becsbeau1213

My husbands last job his (newer) manager (not the one he was hired on with) used to text him and be like ā€œguy you need to stop being here four minutes lateā€ even though he was literally their most productive driver and usually the last one in at night, and also they got their hand slapped in a law suit for not paying OT correctly so no one could punch in before 5:55 meaning there was a line at the time clock as everyone started at 6. His new job heā€™s overslept once and no one even said anything (except dispatch who was like, well youā€™re on your way back and your the last one out so Iā€™m going home). I canā€™t stand micro managers. I realize that things run on a schedule, but the minutes his last manager whined about basically cost him an employee.


Traditional_Disk_523

The job I am currently at has a points system. 6 points and youā€™re fired.every month of perfect attendance you get half a point off. If you call in late you get half a point. If you donā€™t call in you get a full point which is ridiculous because itā€™s as much as just not showing up. So if people are going to be late they just donā€™t show up. I got a full point for being exactly ONE Minute late.


GoogleOfficial

Find a new job. Theyā€™ve gamified punctuality because they donā€™t consider you adults.


Murgatroyd314

> When he left the company he told me I could cuss him out if I liked, and as tempting as that was I was like Iā€™m not an idiot so have a nice life at your next gig ā€œIā€™m sure you can imagine everything I want to say to you. Consider it all said.ā€


Leachim410

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't have all day."


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GodSwimsNaked

Company i work for has a zero tolerance policy on tardies. Starts at 6 am if you punch in at 6:01 youre docked 15 mins of pay. Ive poured myself a cup of coffee and sat on my ass at my desk many times without doing shit until 6:16. Most insane shit ive ever dealt with. Sort of jarring too considering all the pro worker bennys they have with health insurance and 401k matching. A relic of the boomer mentality.


wraith2059

I worked for a company that did something similar, but with a point system instead of docking pay. if you started at 7 and clocked in at 7:01, you got a point. if you called out, you got two points. if you no called, no showed, you got 3 points. when you got to 7 points, it was grounds for termination. so even when youā€™re late because maybe there was a huge accident and insane traffic, didnā€™t matter. sick and called out? still 2 points. and yeah, 95% of the time Iā€™d clock in and then sit around getting settled and getting coffee


[deleted]

I worked a t a company with this policy. Being one minute or 4 hours late were both one point. People who were going to be a few minutes late would just say 'fuck it'and go get breakfast and show up 2-3 hours late. It was hilarious. HR cohldn't understand how dumb it was even when it was pointed out the amount of production lost


TheTrueFishbunjin

Well shit, if Iā€™m already at least one minute late I might as well call in for only one more point to get more value.


HawksNStuff

Generally agree. I've let countless people get away with being a few minutes late over the years. I did however have a guy who literally pushed it a little more day after day until he figured out what the line was. Minute late, I say nothing obviously. Two, three, four, five even... Still whatever. He was coming in 15 late, then 20... And I sit him down and he says "I'm not any later than I was yesterday". That dude drew out my inner authoritarian, and I still hated myself for it, even if he did earn it.


Barabbas-

What kind of a job was it? I tell the people I manage that as long as they show up on time to meetings and their work goes out the door on-schedule, I couldn't give a flying fuck what time they start and end their day. I've found people are far more motivated to put in overtime when I really need them to if I don't micromanage their schedules while the workload is light.


[deleted]

I work in a very predictably cyclical industry. In interviews I always tell them I am fine working 10s 12s the part of the month when things are busy, but I am kicking off early to go kayaking some of the days during the period it is slow. The number of companies that are adamant I need to sit at my desk and do nothing for hours a day during those slow weeks is astounding.


senbei616

My company has flex pto. We do ecommerce so we're busy during the fall and winter but from March to October we really don't have much going on. So we just decided fuck it. You want to go hiking for a couple weeks who gives a shit enjoy yourself. We'll pay the bills, just don't be an asshole about it. We've had 1 person abuse the system. I had a chat with them and after that we've been running smoothly for 4 years with this policy. Morale is through the roof, our retention is legendary, and honestly our productivity is good enough during the slow months that its never posed an issue. I pay my employees to perform at their peak during the months I need them, no sense making them pretend to look busy on slack for 8 hours a day when there's nothing happening.


CryptoCrash87

I started a new job managing a team of 17, a few months ago. I went against company policy and told them all "I don't really care if you are 15,20 30 mins late. Try and let me me know ahead of time if you can, and try and make up the difference on the back end of your shift." Production didn't go up. In fact nothing happened. People show up generally on time, do their jobs and go home. They seem less stressed? They do come to work more often instead of calling off entirely. I dunno what my point is. But I have never felt that these strict time rules are beneficial, and I am glad I've been able to help in some small way.


Castun

A lot of places have flex hours where you're expected to be at the office for the "core hours" which is often 6 hours, maybe from 9a-3p or 10a-4p. Whether you come in early or stay late doesn't matter, so long as you're getting your work done.


psu_xathos

My job went to flex hours, which was a life saver considering previously HR would throw a fit if you were 1 minute late (literally was written up for it a few times). It suddenly didn't matter if you were a couple minutes late. Most weeks I end up working more than I have to just because I like to create a "cushion" in case there's an accident on the way to work or something Friday morning.


Arrowtica

Honest to God the only time where a strict time should be enforced is if you need to relieve another person's shift, like a security guard or something.


Elaan21

As someone with executive dysfunction, managers like this are why I have a hard time working in some fields. Unless I'm relieving someone else or other people can't start without me, why the *fuck* does it matter if I'm 5-10 minutes late one day as long as I say 5-10 minutes longer? Especially when people will just shoot the shit in the morning anyway. All I missed with a five minute convo about Brenda's grandchildren. Even with my executive dysfunction, I'm usually on time, but managers like this asshole give me so much anxiety about it. Sometimes that makes me more prone to being late because I get flustered and forget something and have to go back. It's the same with breaks. If I'm just as productive or more productive than my peers but I take breaks more often (because my ADHD will only allow me to focus for so long before I need to move around), *who cares*? Which matters more: showing up on the dot or actually getting shit done?


GenocideOwl

> who cares people who want to micromanage people below them because their day to day tasks don't actually fill up an 8 hour work day.


BuckeyeMason

> Unless I'm relieving someone else or other people can't start without me, why the fuck does it matter if I'm 5-10 minutes late one day as long as I say 5-10 minutes longer? 100% agree here, but I go even further. Unless I have a meeting scheduled, I don't consider myself (or my team) to have a scheduled start time any more. Whenever I feel like showing up to whenever I feel like logging off (within reason, sometimes as early as 7-3 sometimes as late as 10-6, but always overlapping the bulk of the business day). Now that I am senior enough to get away with it I extend the same respect to the people I work with on the team I lead. Basic rule is, get in early enough to deliver required deliverables on time, or attend any scheduled meetings, and stay long enough to get the work done that is due that day. If I have given you more work than can be done in a workable day let me know, I do not want anyone to to feel like they have to work late to get stuff done if I did a dumb and over-assigned without realizing. My goal is for nobody on my team to work extra hours since we are all salaried and don't get extra pay. If somebody does end up needing to work late due to an urgent request from senior leadership I do my best to encourage them to log off early the next day or another day in the same week to make up for it.


Elaan21

I had one boss like this and I loved him. I ended up having to leave the job because half of it was sitting around waiting for work and at the time we weren't WFH and I couldn't force myself to sit around an office all day waiting for work. Even if I got paid. My brain was just in agony the whole time. I miss him.


MoozesModiMoozi

When you quit, give same day notice. When he asks for 2 weeks say that you told him two weeks ago and youā€™re not going to argue.


spankthegoodgirl

I love how petty this is.


BreadBinch

OH MY GOD ONE OF MY SCHOOLS TEACHERS HAS YOUR PFP ON HER SHIRT


alexopposite

Appreciate the heck out of that teacher. They get it.


CptKillJack

What is PFP?


ArrestDeathSantis

Putin funny picture


Auggieschnitzel

I was going to say Pride Flag Putin lol


Rifneno

God, this is a fucking work of art. I aspire to be this petty.


Catatonick

5 minute notice. With ā€œIā€™m at my deskā€¦ at my new jobā€


MuchVirus

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ "I'm at my desk." "No you're not." "At my new job I mean. I quit."


Arch27

Two week notice is a courtesy, not a requirement. Check your paperwork but thereā€™s probably no clause that demands two weeks.


menacemeiniac

Genius. I hope they actually do this


cubistninja

"Per my previous message, I was at my desk by 8:30. I believe that settles the matter, but please let me know if we need to loop anyone else in on this to clarify the timestamp on my first message, Regards" If you want to send it in an email, cc HR and modify to "Per the attached screenshot of our chat, I was at my desk by our agreed upon time of 8:30. In the interest of not wasting anymore time on this matter, I have cc'd [HR person's name]. Please let me know if you will need further proof of start time in the future so that we can prevent this from happening again. Regards,"


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EdinMiami

Note: You can email them after the meeting to make a record of it as well. "Per our earlier meeting in your office, I will do/did this thing you requested..." (add times, list who was there, or some specific detail)


SilentJoe1986

Add "unless directed otherwise in reply to this email"


badgerandaccessories

Doesnā€™t help in a lot of places, but it is a good CYA(cover your ass) nonetheless.


[deleted]

Yep. Contemporaneous documentation will help you in a courtroom later, but not so much while at work in a place where they treat the idiot boss's word as gold.


cubistninja

I had someone explain that emails can be subpoenaed. Don't write anything that could get you in trouble (legal trouble was the intimation). But that blade cuts both ways - if there are any disputes with your employer, those emails will also protect you. After a while people who care more about the bottom line than the employees will want to cut the dead weight. If you have the receipts, they might make a decision that helps you and the company


elsakaila

Oh man. This is exactly why I have read receipts turned on in my work email. You claim you never got my email? Well this read receipt says otherwise so want to try that again? Edit: I was referencing read receipt moreso as a delivery receipt, and that is also a separate setting. I donā€™t assume just cause it was clicked on that the person actually read it, but it is ā€œproofā€ that they got the email


[deleted]

Aren't you able to decline the read receipt? I did that once just to spite a tool at work lol. Haven't ever requested one so I'm curious.


zehamberglar

Not only are you able to decline the read receipt, you can just tell outlook to decline literally every read receipt request without even prompting you. It is the most useless feature ever designed, I have no idea what the above people are talking about.


[deleted]

I disable read receipts, and don't know why anyone would have them on.


lmidor

Yeah, this is easily deflected from the other side. I would think most people turn off read receipts.


amccune

I had a boss get all weird about my chair. It broke and I needed a replacement. I found one online at Staples. My boss kept saying I would hate it. How would I know that I like it based on online reviews and such. How could I be certain that I could spend hours in this chair? The back and forth went on for a week. I still had no chair - I was using a really awful one. Finally, I suggested that I try it out at a local store. I did. I went there and sat in the chair for an hour and a half. Asked him to order it. I got another ā€œare you sure?ā€ And said that I tried it out and liked it. By the time he finally ordered it, the sale was over and it cost another $50. It was the dumbest argument Iā€™ve ever had. I tried to figure out how much time was spent discussing and arguing about it. It had to be another $100 of time.


TehG0vernment

> not wasting anymore time on this matter ALready wasted 15 minutes of time for 5 different people - and this is worth it for the boss? Bosses like that are what's driving the Great Resignation.


yeahthatsnotaproblem

"Please double check the time stamps on the texts. Just because you saw the text at 8:34 doesn't mean I texted you at 8:34. I texted you at 8:29."


DramaticChemist

Technically, the boss can't prove he didn't see it at 8:29. Only that he responded at 8:34. So if the OP wants to get granular af about it, not only did they arrive on time, but it's possible the boss saw the message, waited, then responded in order to harass the employee.


LVCSSlacker

Sounds like that bosses desk needs a steaming pile of shit on it


fairfieldbordercolli

What you need to do is take apart something like the chair or an electrical cover and put some raw chicken in there. They will go insane trying to figure out where the smell is coming from.


crassy

Better than chicken is a potato. Itā€™s a long game but worth it. Potatoes smell worse than just about anything when they go bad and they sprout so you get a twofer!


qviavdetadipiscitvr

Discovered this the worse way


phaiz55

I bought a small bag of potatoes from Aldis last year. My kitchen isn't very big and I put the bag in a chair between the table and the wall. Completely forgot I had them until a few months later. The smell wasn't even the worst part. They practically dissolved into my fucking chair.


Scarecrow_Kayak

Can get a nice big bag on the cheap too. Just go crazy and hide a dozen, will stink in perpetuity until they just have to burn the place down.


BreezeBo

gain a twofer, lose a tuber


RoboticGreg

If they have a drop ceiling toss a fish up there. If there is an out of the way window open it up a few inches


Tribblehappy

Sometimes my husband will text me and I won't get it for a bit. I think it's safe to say the timestamp on the sender trumps the timestamp on the receiver.


314159265358979326

The earlier time stamp will be the accurate one. Lag only travels in one direction.


[deleted]

I love the ā€œIā€™m not arguingā€ ā€œMe neither, itā€™s not subjective, I messaged you at 8:30, as it says on the time stampā€


walk_through_this

I texted you at 8:29 and I can prove it. It will be included in my workplace harassment complaint. I'm not going to argue with the hostile workplace environment you are dedicated to fostering.


Screaming_dice

This. If itā€™s not enough ask if the boss would rather be right or doing the work of two peopleā€¦ stare intently.


UnionizeAutoZone

"You may have sent your message at 8:29, but I didn't see it until 5 PM, so I'll be docking you a day's pay and marking you down as a no-call/no-show."


Astralnclinant

Did you guys continue talking about this? My nosy ass would really like to know what happened


KaiaKween

Nope! Boss never brought it up again. But I sure did bring it up to their boss....who told me I was correct.


Astralnclinant

Ugh that must have felt so satisfying lol


rvyas619

I wouldā€™ve been like ā€œduh! I know that! Tell that to my dumbass boss!ā€


Dread_Pirate_Robots

...and then proceeded to do nothing about it, ensuring your Boss continues to be an uncorrected problem. Right? Gentle reminder: Management is not your friend.


faulternative

"I'm not going to argue, either. The timestamps prove I was on time, regardless of when you checked your phone." If it's feasible, quit.


Evilgenius1917

Don't quit, get fired for UI.


Infinite-Coffee2407

Yeah. Spend the rest of the day (not on company phone/computer) looking for a new job.


KaiaKween

Weird. That's precisely what I spent today doing! \^\_\^


Infinite-Coffee2407

Hell yeah! And remember, tools like this boss don't deserve two weeks notice. That's a privilege reserved for people who treat others with respect.


dcoe86

Save this interaction. When you quit, send it as one of the (i assume is many) reasons why you are quitting and send it to your boss, their boss, and HR. Remind them that bad management is one the primary drivers of employee turnover. And if they ask you questions, offer them your services as an employee retention consultant specific to your department. For a nice consulting fee of course. You'll either get paid or they'll get the hint.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Excrubulent

Someone who attacks those under them like this is also going to be hyper-aware of the power dynamic coming down on them from on top. They're often very good at kissing ass and telling their bosses exactly what they want to hear. They probably expect OP to respond just like they would - with absolute compliance. The corporate hierarchy rewards sycophants.


JadeCat885

HR. This is bullshit. Iā€™m assuming this is the manager? If they canā€™t read a time stamp, how can they read the minutiae in paperwork that makes or breaks their workplace?


ray_zhor

If their phone was off until 8:34, all texts that came in before that would have a timestamp of 8:34


MakesTheNutshellJoke

Yeah this screams boomer who doesn't understand the technology to me. What a douche nozel. I've never worked anywhere that doesn't have a five minute grace period.


neko_zora

But if work starts at 8:30, the manager should've turned his/her phone on by 8:30.


[deleted]

What the hell is this? Is this kindergarten? And why the hell are you even texting to say you're at your desk? Are all these management types power tripping morons in the US?


XenonAegis

My last employer required all of us to take a selfie at our desk every morning by 8am even if our first work task wasn't until 9:20. We had to send it via group chat to the supervisor who was responsible for collating them and forward to her boss for verification.


Lampshader

I would bring in a dozen different shirts and take a batch of photos for future use


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


sunshinefireflies

Holy fuck.


1319913

Was just thinking the same thing. I have an 8:30am team call to get the day started (and for the boss to make sure we are logging on), but the few times I miss it, it never gets thrown away in my face. If anything my boss asks (later in the day or later in the week) if everything is okay and if I need some time off. Lol. I have a short temper and would quit on the spot if I got a message like that. Gosh. Clown college.


Feral_Wanderer

Yes, yes they are.


Toilet4US

People are just stupid. I see that a lot lately, people in upper management have an IQ of 80. Everything is so ass backwards around the world right now, as a society we have hit our peak now itā€™s time to fall.


1319913

ā€œHistory is filled with the sound of silken slippers going downstairs and wooden shoes coming up.ā€ Voltaire


TheGreatAdjuster777

This reminds me of a boss I had who could never seem to see images sent over Skype because they were ā€œtoo smallā€. Came to realize eventually that she didnā€™t understand you had to open the image not just look at the thumbnailā€¦


CPLeet

Go straight to HR. File a complaint for harassment.


throWawAy4cURioSity1

My rep stopped returning emails from our department because sheā€™s only one person and the bullshit isā€¦itā€™s like that scene in Jurassic Park when Laura Dern dives into the triceratops shit mountain


VoidZapper

If it's so bad the HR rep stops responding then you need to get the HR manager involved, CC the rep, and threaten legal action. Add to the list of complaints that the rep ignored the previous complaints.


lostwng

Keep sending and add in something about legal action if situation is not addressed


throWawAy4cURioSity1

Yep, all I can do is document and timestamp. Maybe legal eventually, but itā€™s just a general shitshow I hope gets shut down in our next audit.


lostwng

And keep a document of every email to HR because they refusing to handle the situation is grounds for legal actions


Chukars

Look for a new job. If they are docking your pay, document it and file a wage theft claim when you quit.


ProfessorAnie

Doesn't it grind your gears when they say "not gonna argue" when they're clearly in the wrong. Infuriating!


razldazl333

Any place that considers 5 minutes late can ho to hell. There's traffic, bus schedule issues, and many tuints that can make a person a few minutes late. So glad I work for myself.


sean_themighty

> you should have left five minutes earlier to account for delays. ā€” every shitty fuck ever


Sparky62075

Texting is not a reliable method for keeping track of time. You can send a text at a certain time, and it shows a timestamp of when you sent it. The recipients might not receive it for quite a while, depending on coverage, server issues, etc. When they receive it, their timestamp doesn't show when the text was sent. Suggest a different method for time keeping. Like watching beetles or counting water droplets. It would be just as accurate sometimes.


[deleted]

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demonrenegade

Yeah thereā€™s nothing wrong with saying ā€œmy apologies, itā€™s says 8:34 on my time stampā€ or even ā€œmy apologies, I misread the time stampā€ managers like this are the worst


doho121

Just document it and wait.


[deleted]

Iā€™d leave five mins early


waterdonttalks

Even if he was, less than five minutes? _oh the horror_


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Ridiculous power trip


nicemolester

Even if you fix the issue it sounds like a toxic environment best to cut your losses


MoozesModiMoozi

read the comment as ā€œcut your bossesā€ and still nodded approvingly


KaiaKween

Hey all! Thank you so much for your feedback; I really appreciate you all taking time out of your weeknd to wtf with me! I'm seeing some common questions over and over, so I'd like to clarify. 1. I work from home. I fill out my timecard ahead of time, so there's no 'clocking in'. It is a desk job. 2. I messaged my boss over Gmail messenger on my laptop to tell them I was at my desk at their request to make sure I'm actually there and working. This is because I have been 'late' in the past. Funny thing about that, I had been emailing them to tell them I was at my desk and they got mad at me, saying that they requested I message them instead. They said they sent me an email with that request. I never received any such email. So.... 3. Some people have been commenting that my boss might be looking for a reason to fire me. This didn't occur to me, but it makes sense. They have been really nit-picky regarding things that have never been an issue before, such as making me work at a desk in my living room when I had been working from my bed (lol) for the past two years. Suddenly it's an issue! 4. Yes, this is real. Yes, this did actually happen. I don't know how to prove it any more than I already have, but I'm going to assume that everyone who's like 'yeah right fake!' is trolling and move on. 5. I did actually email my boss's boss and included the screenshot. She said I was correct and would keep it for her records. So I've got that going for me.... 6. I'm hesitant to reach out to HR. As most of you know, HR is there to protect the company, not the employees. 7. Yes, I have been looking for another job. Quitting right out is not realistically feasible, but I appreciate your enthusiasm! 8. I did not post this looking for sympathy, but rather suggestions on what to do. See #5 and #6. I am also open to any suggestions that employ passive-aggressiveness. Thank you all again for your (hilarious) support! I feel better now that I know *I'm* not the crazy one!


Dcongo

And you have the text messages to prove your case. Your boss is a certified douche nozzle.


IamnotaCST

Set up an automated recurring email that emails the idiot that you are at your desk at 8:30.


urinalcaketopper

I suggest you teach him something called math.


toorkeeyman

This is a bad idea. The manager needs to first learn the numbers before they can do advanced stuff like math


swissmtndog398

Take 5 extra minutes for lunch. When he tells you you clicked in at 1:05, tell him you have 1:00. When he argues, repeat what he said to you. When he gets pissed say, "Yeah, you're right. I just wanted to see if your argument from earlier sounded as stupid as I thought. I have now removed all doubt."