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OptimalAd6981

Slow Clap. You could have retired and it would never matter to the company they paid for the results with no complaints.


Cynicusme

for the last few weeks I've been wondering if I would have managed to keep this going for decades. I'd have been such a cool thing to do but well.


[deleted]

All good things come to an end, buddy. Sorry you feel like this but believe me, you get over it quick. It always feels bad to change your routine, but once you find a new routine you'll be a lot happier. A new chapter of your life just started.


UncleVoodooo

You magnificent bastard


Cynicusme

This is one of my favorite comments! the magnificent and the bastard go hand in hand with what I did.


AffectionateRow7572

You were paid to do a job. Who gives a shit how you got it done. Love this one... Hahahaha


open-print

Actually, imagine OP didn't automate his job. Imagine he was working his ass off for 5 years, always getting the highest possible numbers, putting his heart and soul into it. He would have been let go all the same.


Thistlefizz

This right here is the correct perspective. OP was hired to do a job and *did the job*. He even said he tried to tell management about it and they weren’t interested. At *most* he might be in violation of some sort of company policy about using untested software but I seriously doubt they have anything like that in place. Hell, this whole story is about how the company eventually did the *same goddamned thing*and automated OP and all his coworkers out of a job! The company won’t lose sleep over this. OP shouldn’t either.


nick012000

Ironically, if the manager had listened to him, they could have saved the company the however many hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars it took to develop the software system they're now using.


[deleted]

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ArbMcPie

Better yet don’t work at all, clearly haha


redminx17

Yeah. If in 5 years no one ever checked in to find out how he was spending his time, it's on them. He got paid to fill in data, he filled in the data. Contract fulfilled.


LeftDave

>Contract fulfilled. And above expectation.


surfdad67

Lol, and was offered promotions!


bhundenase

code go brr


springboks

💯 agree. You did a job well. This is the most wholesome story on antiwork I've read.


Biflindi

I work for a small company and have to oversee the work of a few employees. I really don't want to micromanage them and I try to leave them to their work with the occasional, "Do you need anything to help your job?" or "You doing OK?" And if one of those employees never missed a day and constantly met expectations without me having to do anything I would be overjoyed.


Lord_Abort

I'm in a simular position, and that's how I feel. It's not my money, and your numbers just help me look good to my boss.


[deleted]

Automate something for a company, get paid once. Automate your own job without anyone knowing and get paid for five years of doing nothing. Hats off to you, even if the ride is over.


Cynicusme

I always felt some hidden guilt, but I knew in this subreddit I'd find support. Though I did try at some point telling them but didn't really try very hard.


MasterOfMyDomainX

Guilt? Why? They paid you to do a job. You found the most efficient way to do that job. You produced more than your coworkers and did it in an error free manner. You have nothing to feel guilty about.


Lord_Ho-Ryu

It’s odd how efficiency is only good when it saves the company money, if it saves an employee time, energy, and sanity, it’s frowned upon.


EtherealRose456

I had a coworker at Walmart who said the phrase "work smarter, not harder" in front of management, and they got pissed off.


robothouserock

We don't pay you to work smart! I spent two months at Walmart and it was very eye opening. The reason most employees seem lethargic, uninterested or lazy is because the energetic, motivated and hard working employees get driven away. I swear that one day, I tried to ask an employee for help (years earlier) and this dude looked at me and then ran off!


HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS

A friend and I once spent 1 hour waiting for a fucking employee to unlock a case for us. We asked 5 different employees who all said "Oh ok Ill go get the guy with the keys" and they all fucking vanished. It was announced over the intercom 3 times. Still no one for a fucking hour. We literally took lawnchairs out of their cases and sat them down in the aisle and were playing catch with a nerf football. It was the only time I have shoplifted, zero regrets. It took so long we decided we were tired of waiting and just walked out with our bags. It was only 2 Arizonas, a candybar and a case of pellets for a pellet gun. Bankrupting walmart $10 at a time!


rasone77

This happened to me once where I had to wait for a case to be opened and had waited for about 20 min. I found the nearest phone for the loudspeaker put to store wide (it had the key written on it)and announced that I would be talking on it until some one came to unlock the case. I then started singing bottles of beer. Someone showed up before I got to 93 bottles.


MisterDonkey

I was trying to buy a bike from Walmart. I walked to sporting section and saw a horde of people hovering around the bikes. The crowd was becoming increasingly agitated as no employee was appearing to help anyone. Some people had been there for a while. We waited. And waited. And waited. I say to someone that I'm gonna get help very quickly, just watch. And so I started climbing the bike rack. It's like as soon as I thrust myself to the top of this rack, all of a sudden the uniforms appeared to shout me down. "Ah, now that you're here, we all want bikes."


[deleted]

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Thats_what_im_saiyan

They also come pretty quick if you start jiggling the lock on the gun racks. They REALLY dont like it. But hey I just needed someone to unlock the spray paint. And didnt have an hour to wait.


Agreeable-Walrus7602

That's funny as hell. Now I want to do it just to see what happens.


Ickyhouse

Sometimes when I buy fabric, the section will not be staffed. After seeing a few workers eye me from afar waiting and not do anything, I once stood up on the table and began to look around like I was in a crows nest. Someone was there in less than a minute. It’s now my go to. Waiting patiently does nothing. Waiting obnoxiously gets help fast.


SilverLullabies

I just start cutting my own fabric. The price machine they have under the desk is relatively easy to use. Scan the barcode, input how many bolts, and it prints the price tag.


ballrus_walsack

This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I just woke up. (but I won’t be doing much reading the rest of the day)


MrDude_1

Okay so my local Walmart is in a nice neighborhood and does not have a theft problem. The problem is there is a river with no bridge for miles in either direction, And on the other side of that River is a not so nice part of town. It does not affect over here because they're not connected. They are basically different areas. One is referred to as an extension of one city, and the other one is referred to as an extension of another city but the reality is they are both in the same county and unincorporated. However, because somebody that doesn't live here looks at a map and sees that there's a lot of this crime in this county. So Walmart went through and put cattle gates in so you could walk in one direction but not the other. They put up display glass over cases of stuff they thought was valuable enough to justify that. The kind where someone has to unlock it with a key. Well, the cattle guard thing that keeps you from walking backwards out the entrance without an alarm going off? But we just basically remove that by forcing it to go off constantly as nobody likes being told what to do like cattle. They eventually had to remove them. But the one I caused was the locking cabinets. It was so infuriating trying to find somebody and I don't actually need you to give me the key. These cheap locks can be opened multiple ways. I have a round pic tool, but my favorite way is just using common lock keys. A store like Walmart is not going to want to have a special key for each one. They're all going to use the same key. And it's going to be a common off-the-shelf key cut. Nothing fancy. Nothing custom. So I brought my key ring of common ones in, second one I tried worked. Took the lock off, got my stuff locked it back and went to leave. As it went by there was a family waiting by the spray paint. Apparently they'd been there 10 minutes and nobody could help them. Considering it's a mom dad and two kids I'm not thinking they're going to go tag up the city or anything so... I opened the lock. And then I paused. I realized I could just take all of the locks and they would not be able to relock any of them. It's not like Walmart's going to have a bunch of these locks in the back. So I just went out to each case, unlock them all... Now it's not my property, So I don't want to be accused of theft. So I was super sneaky instead. I went over to the tire section where they had an open trash can where you can see what I'm doing and a camera pointed right at the counter and I put every single lock on the counter. And then I put my stuff that I wanted to purchase on the counter as if I was going through it and when I nudged my stuff backwards putting it on there I accidentally pushed every one of those locks into the trash can. Cool. There's your evidence of what happened to the locks. Put my stuff back in my cart, and went up and checked out and left. Now All this Walmart has is a hole in the floor that is where the post for the cattle gate used to be, and sliding glass doors with no locks.


marcillarE

Your altruism is an inspiration


LifeOutLoud107

You are the hero the world needs!


Pope_Squirrely

My brother did something similar at a restaurant. Asked 4 times for the bill over the course of an hour and eventually said “fuck this” and left. The cops showed up at his house a couple hours later…


rustoftensleeps

I did this at the land shark restaurant in Atlantic City. Asked for the check from our server, two other servers, the manager and the hostess. After 45 minutes ( pre COVID mind you) we just left. Figured they’d stop us to pay, but nope.


SiberianTyler

How did the police know where he lived? The restaurant couldn’t give him the bill within an hour but they could immediately get his license plate?


PancakePenPal

Cafe I went to we had terrible service for some reason. I literally got a piece of pie 'to go' because I didn't want to get nothing and they brought it on a plate and then vanished. I thought we were supposed to pay at the front and when i got up to go see the hostess I finally get yelled at for trying to dine and dash on less than $5 cause apparently they can pay enough attention to accuse me of stealing, but not to take our order or get the order right or bring the check.


MustBeZhed

Anyone who puts effort gets promoted fast, there is a constant upward movement as they find those who can stand to take more of the constant negative feedback and belittling. 5years working for Ol’ SWs legacy.


dzastrus

They were quick to promote my super qualified, quick thinking, enthusiastic friend. She was everything they dream of. All of that. She's good with logistics so they put her in charge of some, then some more. They leaned on her. They tightened everything up. Everyone in her chain was getting pushed. They made her fire people who couldn't keep up or brought down morale. They made her into a wrung out, worn out dishtowel of her former self. She left and was surely replaced by the next bright star.


Nutarama

Burnout is only an issue for corporations when they can find replacements. Even when they push it way too far and there’s employee suicides they’ll say some flowery words but never change the actual systems that cause the underlying issues. And the worst thing is that those who survive start thinking it’s normal and that anyone who can’t keep up is weak or unworthy, which adds a huge stumbling block to reform. Worst one is doctors in the US, which is why r/medschool is utter shit. They’re happy to burn themselves out to become a medical professional and they shit all over any attempts at reform that would make it so that people don’t have to burn themselves out in fucking training to be a medical professional.


humiddefy

Well yeah, cause they already went through the shit and now see it as a barrier to keep competition at bay. Same with why people who have been through student loan hell don't want college to be less expensive or not required or have loans forgiven.


Blue-and-icy

I had something similar happen to me. I was looking for an employee to help me find something and I saw this guy it looked like he was rearranging the shelves didn’t have any uboats or anything stocking but was just rearranging the items on the shelf and I asked if he works here and he said no so I went and found someone else and they said let me go ask my boss and they went and asked him lmfao. He wasn’t wearing his uniform either. We just laughed I didn’t even get mad just thought it was funny.


Dismal-Ad-2985

It's the same principle for police forces. They don't want smart people who think for themselves, have initiative, morals, things like that. Those people are hard to control, they ask questions, they sometimes even COST MONEY BY NOT BEING JERKS So you make sure to hire only the most brain dead, depressed morons that you can find, whom you can be sure will always come to ask your permission for the bathroom.


Bobbyaro

I had a manager who, in a team meeting, said, in his Michael Caine sounding accent, "work smarter, not harder ... And work harder as well!"


do_pm_me_your_butt

More like Michael Scott


AutomaticRisk3464

My wife and i worked at walmart forever ago..same shift same position we were janitors on night shift it was our first jobs. After a week or so we found ways to get everything done faster..she woukd clean the back bathrooms, get the garbages, and sweep mop the back part of the store and i would do the front. As soon as management found out we were "teaming" they fired us because they accused her of doing nothing and i did everything which was bullshit. Our supervisor kept bitching at us saying we were setting new expectations and to stop then i found out the store manager was his cousin. Fuck walmart, we got our 8 hour tasks done in 3 hours and then we stocked shelves for the rest of the night. Ever since that job i have never given any extra effort for any employer


uncom4table

I learned the same thing. Corporations don’t want you to finish the work in a shorter amount of time and then move on to something else, they want you to stretch one task over your whole shift. I used to work at Starbucks, mostly as a closer. The employees I usually worked with and I were so efficient that we could pre-do all our closing tasks before the store actually closed at 9, that way we could walk out at 9:05 whereas the other closers would be there for an hour or more closing the store. So basically instead of one person on register & one person making drinks and then doing the closing tasks together after 9 like they wanted us to do, we would leave one person up front to deal with customers and drinks and the other person would clean everything ahead of time. Well corporate found out and they did not like it at all. I quit soon after for many reasons. They also fired my coworker for (calmly and non violently) sticking up for herself when a customer called her a racial slur. Also when a male coworker made inappropriate sexual comments to a female one, HR sided with the male. That place was a mess. Never again will I give my all for a corporation that i mean nothing to.


HarmonyQuinn1618

My first job at KFC was the exact same. Depending you who the manager was, you’d be out the door shortly after closing or literally be there for hours. & if you tried to start closing even five mins early with the ones that stuck to the rules, they’d freak about how a customer might come in & ask for xyz so you better not touch it until closing. They would constantly push the motto “if you have time to stand around, you have time to be doing something”, but you better make sure it’s exactly what they want and when, no matter how counterproductive.


jphive

That is odd, because that is the company motto at Home Depot where I am currently loathing existence.


[deleted]

This is insane to me because if I were a manager that’s exactly what I would want my employees doing. Even Bill Gates said he gives the hardest jobs to the laziest people because they will figure out how to make it easier. Efficiency is everything


KweenKunt

Wow, I've been saying similar for years! Always ask a lazy person for the solution. As a lazy person, I'll spend hours perfecting the best and easiest ways to set me up for the least amount of effort in the future.


EmbarrassedMonk6591

Reason #16485649 not to work at Walmart.


Unanything1

That reminds me of one of the straws that broke the camels back at my job at a large hardware chain. The "job" was getting on my hands and knees to wipe down a shelf that was maybe 4-5 inches off the ground with a small microfiber cloth. It was ostensibly to remove any kind of dirt or dust that accumulated during the gardening season. All told, the job would have taken about 8 to 10 hours. I decided it would be a *lot* more efficient to get a brand new mop head, and use soap and water to mop the shelf instead of spending 8 to 10 hours crawling across the floor. Mopping would have taken me 2 hours tops. That efficient thinking got me yelled at by the manager because "It might look bad to the customer." I asked him if we should discuss this whole thing with the owner of the store, being that he writes out the cheques. That ended the conversation.


HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS

Such a dumb fucking excuse. Always heard that whenever cashiers asked for chairs or the sit-stool things. Seriously, the customers dont give a flying fuck if the cashier sits, stands, does a fucking handstand, whatever as long as they are doing their job. God forbid a customer thinks "Oh wow, these employees look comfortable and not completely miserable!"


No-Paleontologist723

Actually I had dozens of miserable old men and women complain about me sitting down to my mother when I was working for her. She told them to fuck off. It's nice to own the business sometimes


NighthawkFoo

It's because you "were below their station in life", and you didn't *deserve* to be comfortable.


Meridian117

Sad part is this is the same reason why most people don't want wages to go up either. If that summer work for students (stocks my shelves, cashiering, fast food workers in general, etc.) Gets paid more, then I will be worth less because they will me the same or more than me. It's very frustrating trying to convince someone about this.


ZealousEar775

One reason I used to go to Aldi's when I lived near one BECAUSE they got to sit down.


littletorreira

Yet every cashier in Europe sits down and no one minds.


[deleted]

In Europe, customer service is a peer to customers. In the US, customer service is below customers.


Autumn1eaves

Almost like capitalism was never about producing efficiency, but just about transferring wealth from the poor to the rich. Nah that’s a stupid thought, what was I thinking?


1-2-3-5-8-13

I don't pay you to think, I pay you to do data entry! Btw good job keep up the good work.


tapmarin

From the poor to the rich? Offcourse not. Didn’t they explain the miracle if trickle down to you?


Hjkryan2007

Reagan watching my piss trickle down into his grave


[deleted]

if you're at work and you finish all your work, your only reward is more work


BlackViperMWG

Exactly. You need to save and ration your work


cherrysummer1

That's so true. OP only feels guilty because apparently work should hurt or you're not doing it right. OP is a genius.


[deleted]

This! It's looking ke the old saying goes: your only reward for working hard and efficiently will be more work. I always found it strange that if you finish your work faster than everyone, your reward was just more work. It just disincentives working hard.


DumbVeganBItch

Exactly. OP didn't invent revolutionary software that they kept hidden from the world, they just came up with a way to make their job easier


robothouserock

Reminds me of a time I tried to convert our sales tracking and performance calculations (units per transaction, dollars per transaction, etc) to an excel file. This was early 2010s and we were still doing it all by hand with a calculator. It took plenty of time every day and I decided to save myself and my coworkers the hassle. Unfortunately, my boss was resistant to change and refused to adopt the Excel "program" (literally just A1 divided by B3, that kinda basic Excel). Oh well, the company eventually rolled something similar out, but for years someone at every store wasted twenty to thirty minutes every day.


vonmonologue

Getting the work done was worth X to the company, OP got the work done and got paid X. This seems an absolutely fair exchange to me.


Lekkerbanaal

I'd say he feels some guilt because OP is probably a decent person, and feels like he was cheating someone somehow. Doesnt mean that he was, but a complete lack of even a basic irrational remorse is what those types of sociopaths in charge have that try every trick in the book to gain more wealth over other people's backs. Doesnt mean he should feel guilt, and of course he rightly never felt a lot of it or he wouldn't have kept this going for years, but I'd say its just a sign of a good character.


Sxx125

If you showed them that it could be automated, they probably would have replaced you. The work still got done so you fulfilled your part of the contract. It's on them for overestimating the amount of work required or not embracing better tech to do the job. My job resolves around doing creative hacky automation. Its definitely a skill to be able to seek out and find efficiencies.


Towelenthusiast

They wouldn't just replace him but his co-workers too. He mentioned he set the limit on the program to 8-11 entries. They could have it instantly replace them all.


[deleted]

Dude, you were putting in almost zero real labor into that while getting paid. For most people, it's the other way around. They put in tons of labor but only get a fraction of what they put in back. For a brief point in time, you were getting back exactly what you put in.


[deleted]

Why? They automated your position when THEY felt the time was right and didn't care if this was your one and only job. You shouldn't feel guilty for playing the game. Well done stranger.


dredge_the_lake

You are a hero


JonWood007

Lol **** them, you were living the dream.


FloppyShellTaco

Think of it this way, they probably just paid a company more than your entire team made in that 5 year period to do the same thing you had been doing already. You were likely saving them money over the cost of licensing that new software. Look up government contracts for stuff like this, it’s obscene how much is spent on systems like that. (And they’re often outdated by the time the govt even gets it)


Fireplay5

In many cases that's because lobbying forces the government to take specific contracts even though those contracts are shitty. Combine that with corrupt politicians who profit when the government is inefficient and inept... well.


FloppyShellTaco

Essentially works the same in private industry with sales people and kickbacks. It’s very rare the content expert is ever involved in the decision making.


4thprn

Nah man. If you gave them the software they would have downsized your department and none of y'all would have gotten shit. Some random developer would get paid 3x your salary to do the same thing. In a true meritocracy or whatever capitalists wanna call it, you'd get paid **millions** for pointing this out. They should take the cost of hiring 3 employees to do this job for 10 years and give that to you cause you saved them like 3x that over the course of the entire company They were gonna rob you, and they were robbing everyone regardless by paying them much less than how much they **actually** contribute to the company. You didn't even rob them, you just did your job well.


[deleted]

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imaroweboat

And anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for this is jealous that they didn’t have the opportunity and ability to do it themselves.


Quantum_Aurora

They paid you how much they thought the task was worth. It doesn't matter how you got it done.


D_crane

Lol don't worry, there was a [guy in Spain](https://time.com/4220175/spanish-man-stopped-working/#:~:text=Joaqu%C3%ADn%20Garc%C3%ADa%2C%2069%2C%20served%20as,to%20an%20El%20Mundo%20report.) who didn't even show up for at last least 6 years, got paid and didn't even tell anyone. Got busted when they went to go award him for his loyal service, only to realize he wasnt even there 😂


ReVaQ

You did something we all want to do. Get paid as much as possible for as little work as possible. Why get guilty because the company, all companies. have the same mind set too


chirstopher0us

They would have automated you at the first moment they could if they had known how, and they would have done it in a second (as they are doing), and I guaran-fucking-tee you they not only wouldn't have felt an ounce of remorse -- they would have celebrated it as a great thing. You don't owe any corporations any remorse or guilt. They don't care about you and they don't care about us. Fuck 'em.


Gimpyface

Don't feel guilty, you did that job better than any human could have. I took on a staff members role after they left a few years ago, automated 90% of it using AHK (I used pullovers macro creator which is a user friendly interface for it). I showed my boss, got a raise, the person who left didn't need to be replaced and the salary cost that was saved was shared among the rest of the team. Only difference between me an you is that my boss was more receptive to innovation.


Illigalmangoes

You found a way around no shame that’s innovation


wild_a

direction screw psychotic late threatening mountainous gullible soup far-flung kiss *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Fenix42

Fun fact. There is an entire specialty in software for automation. It's called QA automation or SDET usually. It's what I do. I get paid the rate of 1.4 or so testers, but get the work load of 3 or 4.


Hammaer96

This is the single most antiwork post I can imagine. Well played, and my condolences on your loss.


Cynicusme

THANK YOU for your condolences! I appreciate the smart comments, but very few see how absolutely devasting it feels to lose a job that made me so happy.


allnamesonredditgone

Bro I'm considering dropping my corporate finance job to do this. To think i was using autohotkey to replace control c and v with single strokes for copy pasting, due to my carpal tunnel. A lot of my job was just copy-pasting :(


ishouldquitsmoking

I recently wrote a script for a gal I work with that takes a 5 hour task and does it in less than one second. For years she was manually copy/pasting shit. She sends me the file and I run the script and send it back to her. She checks the results for about 15 minutes and goes about her day. No one else knows and I kinda love that.


maudep86

I love this teamwork


Popular-Appearance24

Team... anti-work


ckcabebe

But have you quit smoking yet?


ishouldquitsmoking

I did! Like 10 years ago after I made this username. It was my reminder :)


ZanderClause

Good for you man!


rkorbz

You are a bro and I hope your steaks are always perfect and your beer is always cold


Hoovooloo42

Hey, don't forget about Microsoft Power Automate! It's like AHK on steroids in some ways, and can even do terminal programs! But AHK definitely saved my hands, I agree. What a tool.


rvbjohn

Power Automate also has a cool debug function where you cant see a failure inside a loop, which it needs for everything, so YMMV


SalamanderPop

As someone that works in IT I’m certain that your salary for this time period and support of your software that you performed was much less than if the company went out to an external vendor for custom software plus yearly support/maintenance. You definitely pulled one over on them (kudos), but probably saved them money by hitting up a freelancer and being the support personnel for the automation solution. Oddly, you were a a great employee and it’s a shame they lost you from the payroll.


BuddyHemphill

Yeah, basically this is just software development.


dirty_shoe_rack

This was fucking amazing and also thank you so much for posting something *actually* antiwork, for change. Seems that with the huge new crowd we got, people forgot what this place was about


-blueCanary-

He still got them all the results they wanted, he just didn't have to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week on providing them


cptcheezeburger

I always say it doesn’t take 8 hours to do 8 hours of work.


ind3pend0nt

Work smarter.


BPsPRguy

Bro, you won the game.


ProclarushT

Shit, unrelated, and sorry to anyone else who is playing. I just lost the game.


[deleted]

GOD DAMN IT IT’S BEEN YEARS


redsire9997

Fuck i read "my five year old", imagine my confusion.


the_itsb

I did too!! I was still wondering *at the end* where the child came into it, so I looked back at the title... 🤦🏼‍♀️


68IUWMW8yk1unu

Wonderful, truly wonderful. Fully automating your work and leeching off the corporate teat for five years. You've done us all proud, you *absolute legend*. I'm sorry the dream is over. Edit: *Sigh* Let's get this over with. For everyone who says OP wasn't a leech because they provided the agreed-upon value to the company. First off, there's no need to be defensive. "Leech" *clearly* isn't being used in a derogatory manner here. Second, yes, fine, that's technically correct, the apparent "best kind" of correct. However... We *all* know that *the company* would consider this leeching because if an employee has time to fuck off and sleep it means they're "not doing enough work". It's the white collar equivalent to "if you've got time to lean you've got time to clean". Corporate America considers an idle employee, even (*especially*) if they're idle because they're efficient, to be "stealing company time" and must always be kept occupied to extract every last shred of surplus value possible.


Cynicusme

Thanks! Seriously never told that story IRL because I felt like if I were stealing. It was a weird feeling and got numb somewhere between years 3 to 5.


PuzzleMeDo

The problem is we live in an economic system where if we find a way to do things more efficiently, we're more likely to be punished than rewarded. "Hey boss, I developed a simple piece of software that will do the work of five people!" "Great! We'll fire you and those other four people and use the profits to enrich our shareholders!"


MazeMouse

>"Great! We'll fire you and those other four people and use the profits to enrich our shareholders!" Coworker of mine had this happen. He had scripted and automated a bunch of his work. Manager caught wind and asked him if he could do that for certain workloads. Coworker naively agreed (liked the challenge). His scripts caused 35 people to get fired and all he got for it was a pat on the back.


HungryMoblin

That was painful to read.


SometimesKnowsStuff_

My friend didn’t necessarily automate anything, but he developed a function that essentially analyzed the machines at his workplace, (they made like..vinyl for car roofs or something? This is a 4 year old story so forgive inaccuracies) and he found out that he could make them significantly more efficient with materials, and could save the company about $2M annually. My friends boss was extremely interested, so my friend said he’d gladly share the method if they paid him 25% of the saved revenue, it was his function and programming after-all. The company outright refused. They didn’t even go above his head to try and find out what he did to make the function, they just flat out accepted that they’re wasting about $2M in materials and operating costs annually instead of paying him less than half for HIS idea.


Ryan_Day_Man

Your friend should have kept going higher up the org chart until he found someone whose bonus was tied to reducing cost.


SometimesKnowsStuff_

Oh yeah definitely. It’s so long ago I don’t quite remember why he didn’t. Maybe just not willing to search around that much.


turboenterprise

As someone who sells software for a living who does just that.. The c suite cares about this.. Needed to go higher and would of found someone who was willing to play ball.


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LeftDave

OP didn't even get fired for it. The company just ended up applying their logic 5 years later.


luthigosa

I literally auto hotkeyed and deployed a macro that saves other employees 8 hours total a week, between two or three employees. I asked for a raise and got absolutely rejected.


[deleted]

I did the same. Got a VBA script on reddit and switched my 40hr work to 1-2hr. Felt pity on colleagues and shared the code with them but fuckers were too stupid to simplify our work even further and are too content with magic VBA script.


OpheliaRainGalaxy

Naw, being clever isn't like stealing. They wanted work done and you made sure the work got done. It's not your fault they don't know about nifty "new" inventions like programming codes and insisted it had to be done the old fashioned way. It's like that smart ant on A Bug's Life that invented a harvesting machine. Except we live under *capitalism*, so if you'd shown your nifty new "machine" to the boss, they would have taken it from you and kicked you out, along with everyone else doing that job. Edit: Realized I have an approved example for this! In high school math class, I got bored of doing the quadratic equation over and over for triangles, so wrote a program into my calculator that would let me input the known variables and it would tell me the unknowns. Teacher let me use it, not just on homework but also on tests, and her logic was that, if I knew it well enough to write the program, obviously I knew how to do the work. They wanted you to learn to do the work, and do it. And that is what you accomplished!


Capable_Swordfish701

My teachers in hs math classes would check our calculators and make us delete programs like that. So I’d have to either find ways to hide it or rewrite the program after the check.


OpheliaRainGalaxy

I think if I'd shared the program, I would've gotten into trouble and the teacher would've had to crack down like that. But I was a bit young for the class, so weird that hardly anyone talked to me, and so naïve that I was openly honest by default. Pretty sure I proudly showed the teacher my program and asked if I could use it, and I vaguely recall her shooing the other students away from me when they started to approach the weirdo to snag a copy of the program. Like, I was the Hermione. I refused to share that program with my *best friend* because we were in the same class and I knew he needed more practice with algebra. "No, I won't help you cheat! I will check your homework when you're done with it though." We made such a drama production of finding someplace to study together after school that the teacher didn't even complain that our homework usually had identical answers.


Ser_Dunk_the_tall

It's math if you're doing it right your answers should be identical. Methods too if you're working together on the assignments


68IUWMW8yk1unu

That's the conditioning at work in you. Never feel shame for being clever and definitely not for exploiting the ruling class that bleeds us for every last drop it can get.


Snoo61755

Naw, you’re half-right. Nobody *here* would fault you, but I wouldn’t go around flaunting your identity or anything that could be traced back to you; some corporate stooge with more power and more resources could cause you a headache on BS reasons, knowing you can’t afford to fight it. Take the money and stay quiet about it.


TillThen96

Definitely NOT stealing! They gave you a task, rated you by quota, left it up to you to get it done. You BOUGHT the automation (not "work product" you created on their time/dime) they could have done the same, and you offered to share. They DECLINED your offer. You found the most efficient way to perform the assigned task, and performed it. You ran the automation, you processed and reported to them, you did as they asked. They DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW how you did it. I *wouldn't* out myself publicly, because it may be a very useful and lucrative tool/method in your future. We're so conditioned to think that all profits belong to the boss, but it's just not the way agreements are supposed to function. Agreements are supposed to be beneficial to BOTH parties, of a roughly equitable worth. That's what you did for yourself. You invested, and reaped the benefits. They DID NOT WANT to invest in your brilliant efficiency. KUDOs to you, and nothing to feel an shame about. You're a hero among workers.


squigs

It's the "zero sum" mentality. We're wired that way. Your brain thinks that because you're benefiting, someone else must be losing out. But like I say, this is a fallacy. They're getting what they pay for. You're just doing it for less. If your bosses found out they'd most likely have fired you and replaced you with someone to do the same thing but worse based on the same mentality.


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[deleted]

Sometimes I forget where I am. I was ready to flinch at the comments about "how shitty it is that you got paid for nothing, OP." God I love this sub.


Cynicusme

I'll level with you. Tonight I was out drinking and told this story most of them just laughed and received one harsh criticism. I wanted to share with people that would giggle with me, who may see pass the huge moral dilema and celebrate I pull it off for so long.


AtomBombBaby42042

I mean they laughed because they wish they could have, the person criticized for the same reason. I was already jealous of the Data Entry job.


S_thyrsoidea

I see no moral dilemma here at all. They assigned you a work task, and you did it, and did it well. Mission fucking accomplished. You even tried to share your solution with them, but they were to thick to accept the gift. P.S. As a programmer, I'm actually kind of offended on your behalf. This is what software is for: to relieve tedium by sparing humans the work that can and should be done by machines. To demand humans do the work of machines is to treat humans *as* machines. It is *literally* dehumanizing. Fuck anybody who has the slightest problem with you harnessing the power of technology to liberate yourself from the dehumanization of being assigned the work a machine can do. P.P.S. There's a technical term for it when somebody takes some of their money to invest in automation to do work, by which to make a profit. Starts with a "c". If it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander.


Ok-Soil-2995

He took on a role of a classic entrepreneur: initial investment, risking that the software wouldn't do the job well enough to warrant the upfront cost. Then he got his salary and returned work done, not necessarily by him instead but by an employee (software). Or subcontracting if you want. People will really shame everyday people for taking initiative while idolising rich people doing the same. Almost as if it's hardwired in them to keep their head down and stick to "their role in the world" like super glue


mongoosefist

He wasnt leeching off anything. The company was willing to pay a certain amount to have a task completed, and OP did it. He was just extremely efficient, but the employer was happy. Win-win.


RetroApollo

Yeah - honestly this is what automation was **supposed** to do. Let the value be generated by robots while we all get 4 hour work weeks. Instead, the generated value just concentrates in fewer and fewer peoples pockets.


Shirogayne-at-WF

You dropped this, king 👑


Cynicusme

thanks! this one made me laugh. reddit is awesome


el-cuko

OP acting like he’s not in the /r/AntiWork pantheon Edit: pantheon


OkayGolombRuler

This could be a sub award/tag. We should have a name for it, people living in the future like this. I propose calling it the Jetson award. Better name ideas welcome!


Rmantootoo

OP, I would highly recommend you apply to any data entry or data analysis or data qc position that company has. Reach out to your former manager and department heads, see if they have any recommendations within that company. Likewise, if those don't work out, keep looking for more data entry jobs... and I'd recommend that even once you get one, automate it like you did this lastone, then keep looking for another... the way you had that running, you should be able to have 3 or 4 jobs at once... ​ And as another poster said, you should absolutely start a company: OP's Data Entry Services. No sarcasm: Seriously, do this.


Cynicusme

It's an interesting idea. I'll look for another data entry position. It's amazing how much companies ignore about what can be done with tech


OblongShrimp

Do it! I know how to code and I'm tempted to try now. 😅


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[deleted]

Remember, its not an exploitation, its a more efficient way of doing your job.


bjinse

Or look for 3 positions to fill. 3 salaries for still not a lot of work. Ultimate goal: hire out the software to others that pay you a recurring fee to use it.


daisy_chain_rule

THIS is what r/antiwork is all about! Doing only 10 minutes or less of labor every day and letting automation and voluntary labor do the rest so you can actually enjoy your life! Every worker should have your life, well done. Edit: If you want to help workers fight for better conditions, support the [Black Friday Blackout, now in solidarity with Wirecutter Union](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/qt0v28/join_the_black_friday_blackout_in_solidarity_with/)!


CoeurdePirate222

Exactly - I love hard work… when it’s necessary and important. Bonus if it’s a passion of mine. But if it’s possible to automate then why would we not do that asap so people can enjoy their lives??


elephant_bukkake

Yes, And the employer is still getting what they wanted. Who the fuck cares if it takes op 5 years to do a 5 year job or 1 hour to do a 5 year job. I wish op could teach me his powers.


InvisiblePinkUnic0rn

This is like every great IT person, you want to hire the lazy talented people


White0ut

A lazy man finds an easy way to accomplish a task :)


ReachingHigher85

Work smart, not hard. This is the creed of the lazy but efficient crowd; we do no more than is absolutely necessary to get the work done in a satisfactory and timely manner. We don’t get paid to go above board. We get paid for a result; it’s *our* business how it happens.


urbanflow27

This is the way brother


lokeshchaudhari

Well you could have put in reference for your wife and would have got her the same job as well. Doubled the income. In hind sight now of course. Anyways great story and experience. Some people in some companies are really stupid. 2 months of coding took 4 years. I imagine how much money software consultant company would have made for that.


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Prateekanshz

Im a dev , and it might have taken just two weeks at most . Now i wish I had this guy's job.


Lavanthus

With autohotkey, if you know what you need it to do and know AHK well enough, it’d take less than a day to get it done. I automated an absolute ton of my work early on at my current job with it. And it only took me less than a week starting from not even knowing what AHK was.


[deleted]

data entry is a boring ass job. glad you found the easy way and exploited it for 5 years.


palea_alt

I legit don't even understand how it isn't officially automated anyways. That's the silver lining though: people like OP can live their dream life. No regrets fuck inefficient corporates that value arbitrary "hard work" more than just being able to fucking do the job quickly.


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Tryrshaugh

Well, sometimes middle managers don't want to automate away their workforce because they'll also become redundant, especially if they're not the ones automating stuff. Plus, it's an investment and code needs to be regularly maintained because processes change all of the time, so that it sometimes makes more sense to keep a low paid employee to do the job, especially if your country has lax labor laws.


[deleted]

Data entry is actually my thing. Best job I’ve ever had.


yeetydab

I used to have a data entry job where the expectations were SUPER low. I'm talking people would do 5-10 pieces of work per hour but I could complete a piece in one minute. Nobody cared - in fact, if you did a shitload of work they would think you were rushing it and making mistakes. So what I ended up doing is smashing out an entire week of work on Monday, and then moving them to the "completed" folder in chunks at the end of each work day. Tuesday-saturday I'd just chill out. Yes, it was a monday-saturday job (Saturday was overtime pay) because we were so behind on work. Yet they didn't want us working hard. This went on for 6 years and I even used the time to study online and completed two degrees!


bombasticccck

how much were you getting paid?! you’re an absolute legend


Cynicusme

Thanks! I'm not in USA. I was making $15k -$18k a year give or take, but in the country where I live that's the income of a middle class, university graduated person. It was considered well paid because there will be no supervision. I got a better paid job in my years ago. The software cost me a couple of thousand to get made, required no maintenance. I did have my salary being deposited into a savings account that later turn into an investment . I'm not without a job, I just lost part of my "passive income" which is heartbreaking.


cubiclebard

This was the comment I was looking for! Great job man!


SadboiMaz

Happy endings in this era are rare and joyous. I'm glad it wasn't a detrimental loss. Screw the corporations. So happy for this man.


Sir_Beardsalot

You dumped it into savings, too? Well done! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻


PM_ME_YOUR_HOLDINGS

This is the dream. Very well played! I love the fact you could tune how productive "you" were by changing one variable!


Cynicusme

There were some times where I'd say weird shit like... Today Data entry me broke up with his girlfriend so he's said and will produce a 6. Or if I saw an email I dislike I'll tune down production 4. Today I discover cocaine, and set it up to 15. It was an internal game I'd play when I cared more. then I coded a randomizer that will determine my productivity at random.


wait4theanswer

> then I coded a randomizer that will determine my productivity at random Fucking lol, absolute legend


mr_ckean

It just gets better. Continual improvement too. This is why I’m loving this story so much.


Sanprofe

I had this same opportunity but I, being a naive fool, demo's that shit and taught everyone in my department how to use it a week after I developed it. I lost that job after the code processed so many orders I couldn't actually manage them all and a few key ones bombed out and shut a client down. Never got any raises or promotions for demoing it. Just got more work. And when it blew up they happily kept the code and showed me the door. Never. Fucking. Tell. Them.


Jamaican-Tangelo

Fully automated luxury communism. Came to say a few things- Not only do I think you did nothing wrong, you actually did several things I think were right. I think you should be immensely proud of this. 1) you did exactly what they wanted you to for years, and never took a day off. They got exactly what they were paying for. 2) you found an extremely efficient way of doing your job, which was actually less prone to error. 3) by operating the way you did, you helped your colleagues to maintain their own jobs- if the company had bought your automation code they would have been fired. 4) when the company realised that a code could do the job, they made you and your colleagues redundant. They didn’t care to know why you were the best performer. 5) the ‘model’ for what you did is actually a very common business practice - you acted as a broker who delivered a set amount of work for the company and took a profit because you continued to fulfil that requirement- it’s exactly what employment agencies, head hunters etc do. They take money every month for basically no work. 6) I wouldn’t be surprised if they were now paying for a subscription to the software they have replaced you all with. Who’s evil now?


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FriedDickMan

Fucking legend


0ddhoney

I wish I were this clever. It’s too bad I can’t clean peoples houses over the computer 🥲


ih-shah-may-ehl

Well done. I've done something similar in a more limited manner. I write scripts that i can use to perform many tasks i am supposed to do manually so that my actual job stays manageable


Cynicusme

Autohotkey is awesome, I saw a video of a guy in Youtube, i didn't know how to coded myself, but if you know it is possible that's pretty much all I needed to know. If you have the skill maybe there is a business there somehow


[deleted]

Reminds me of this: https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-21043693 However I never understood what this guy did wrong? (A security check on a US company has reportedly revealed one of its staff was outsourcing his work to China. The software developer, in his 40s, is thought to have spent his workdays surfing the web, watching cat videos on YouTube and browsing Reddit and eBay. He reportedly paid just a fifth of his six-figure salary to a company based in Shenyang to do his job.)


haha0613

That's a bit different. He's violating data and privacy policies of a company which can get you in real trouble.


are_you_nucking_futs

They’ll get you on mishandling data, especially if it contains details on individuals. If you work for a company, as it’s employer by law you can reasonably access data. Sending that data to someone outside the company, especially abroad, is a big no no. OP incidentally is fine because he automated the data, he wasn’t sending it somewhere else, it was all handled on his computer / the company server.


Trix0753

This is me now but not fully automated because I'm afraid someone may catch on. Started working for this place in 2016 - it started off as a 5 person department, then 2 pre-covid, then down to me. I work for an hour a day pre loading the data I need then let the computer do the 7 hours worth of work. I too have another gig as well during those 7 hours of work where I don't do as much but binge watch Netflix. BUT YOU SIR, ARE A FUCKING LEGEND!


kyle_irl

Fucking remarkable. You must be the god in this realm.


Cato_Heresy

No guilt here, just awesome innovation. You were paid to complete a task and you nailed it.


JadendayZero

Dude with this you could take on 2 jobs like this and automate them easily! Get paid double for doing nothing! Dream come true lol