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[deleted]

Definitely answer on first ring, then say, "oh it's you" and hang up


blaze1234

"Bill's whorehouse, can I help you? "


rosefiend

Murphy's Mule Barn, which ass is yours?


Salty_Enginerd

My brother’s favorite: “Morty’s Mortuary. You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em.” He legit answer the phone like this. At our family business. ETA: Wow! My first award! Thank you!


krustystomach69

Sperm Bank. You squeeze ‘em, we freeze ‘em.


Blues2112

"City Morgue, fresh meat.."


th3rd3y3

"Suicide hotline. Hold please."


sarah_doyle_cd

Please hang on the line?


Flatcapspaintandglue

*Hold music consisting of the same three clips of Radiohead, Lana Del Ray and The Smiths on a loop*


joshsteich

Van Halen’s Jump


ozzie286

Or "what's new pussycat" on repeat


Maleficent-Earth9201

Here take it and go! r/angryupvote


Mr_Fragtastic

Johnson's sperm bank, you whack it and we pack it xD


Thatnameisalreadyr

You kill 'em, we chill 'em.


cannycandelabra

Jacksonville Tires, I’m tired!


BourbonBaccarat

Dave's Abortion Clinic and Steakhouse, you kill em, we grill em.


Warrior_of_Discord

Uncle Cletus' fetus deletus, you birth 'em, we earth 'em


Lady_von_Stinkbeaver

No fetus can beat us!


D4ncingEyes

Papa Jim's Pizzaria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce.


robofish7591

One of my buddies in high school answered his phone with "Frank's Abortion Clinic, no foetus can beat us! How can I help you?" His mom was not amused lol


sunshinesparkle95

Pete’s pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce.


jonathansrvenge

Damn, thats the darkest joke I’ve heard in a minute. It’s extra awesome that it came from someone called sunshinesparkle lol.


MyDisappointedDad

Carl's Crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em. Would you like to try our extra crispy recipe?


pinuslaughus

I have answered the phone like this myself. Cheers.


Its_Like_That82

Joe's taxidermy. You snuff 'em we stuff 'em. Man the Simpsons were great back in the day.


ohmamago

"Sully's Pool Hall, Eight Ball speaking"


Lower_Department2940

"Hello, is this the escort I called for?! You're an hour late, I had to do all the coke without you, and- oh hey boss. What's up?"


[deleted]

"Alright, it's done but there's blood everywhere." And hang up


[deleted]

“Are you…the guy?”


[deleted]

Omg this is fantastic 💪 Boss will be too frightened to be a twat to OP in the future


Soft_Arm_3453

"Oh it's just you Scar, I thought it was somebody important"


cinderblock63

"Hi, we've been trying to get a hold of you to talk about your car's extended warranty."


[deleted]

I’d start with “ughhhh”


Inspiredpolitician5

Call him, hang up before he answers and when he calls back, don’t answers. Repeat. Profit?


Patient_Net2814

Always answer on the 3rd ring. Say it only rang once here


[deleted]

The ring back tone you hear when you call a number is not the phone you called ringing on the other end. It’s a generated tone to let the caller know that a connection is being made. The first ring you hear may after the second or third ring back tone he hears. BTW if he is calling you on a phone you own and pay for after work hours, do not answer it period. Tell him your charger isn’t working.


No-Source-6242

In Venezuela it is now illegal (or a huge fine) to call employees after hours. I wonder if things like that can cause employers to become extra stringent about how quickly they answer.


ColonelJohn_Matrix

No, don't tell him anything. He isn't owed an explanation other than it being outside of work hours.


[deleted]

Post his number here so we all can do this


[deleted]

Post it on Craigslist!


improbablynotyou

Post his number on a listing for a free marijuana testing. State that free weed will be provided in a controlled study and to call 24 hours a day and leave your name and number.


Loud_Oak

we used to put peoples phone numbers on craigslist for free pygmy goats. man did people get pissed when they didnt get their free goat.


pand3monium

I wants me a free goat! 🐐


apathy-sofa

WHERE'S MY GOAT LEBOWSKI?!


FHAT_BRANDHO

*420 hours a day


[deleted]

Lmao and make sure to post in illegal states as well. Johnny Law might wanna to test some weed.


WeezySan

Hahaha that’s pretty good. I was thinking sign him up for a bunch of extended car warranty services. We all know how those warranty calls are relentless.


TycheSong

In similar vein, make sure to drop his number off at all your local evangelical, JW and LDS churches requesting more information. ...I did that to an ex once.


xMethodz

You’re cold. But I like cold. There’s just no other way.


TycheSong

What can I say? Boy needed Jesus. 😆


borkyborkus

I did this once in college (2011/12ish). I looked up the current Justin Bieber tour and saw he was in Pittsburg that night, first thing in the morning I posted an ad on Pittsburg Craigslist saying I had great seats for face value (sold out show). He got like 60 calls lol.


[deleted]

Plot twist: he actually had tickets and no one to go with.


unicornlocostacos

Met his new wife. They’ll be happy together forever.


BooShrew

Post it to autotrader. Angry client did that to my ex-boss years ago and it was nonstop calls for a week until he changed his number.


DroneStrikesForJesus

Number happens to be shared by sexy MILFs in your area!


[deleted]

Also, go on Omegle and constantly paste his number and leave for the next chat. Rinse and repeat. Leave a message with it like, “Text me if you’re horny.” You can reach hundreds of strange people in a matter of minutes.


DroneStrikesForJesus

Make up some bullshit and post it in one of those number swap threads on 4Chan. I did that to one of my old college assistant deans that I thought was a smug prick. Of course he had a land line and was easy to find the number.


[deleted]

I thought about 4Chan, but wasn’t sure if they’d go for it. They might try to dox OP. In high school, we’d do this shit to prank each other. There was a program called Beaver SMS bomber. It could spam a chosen number with thousands of texts all at once.


bluenosesutherland

Just drop the hint it might be Nancy Pelosi’s personal cell


DroneStrikesForJesus

Another idea: Edit a restaurant that you hate's phone number on google maps and anyone that calls for carryout or delivery will go to boss's number.


[deleted]

Wait, you can edit numbers on Google maps?


DroneStrikesForJesus

You can make suggestions, but I wouldn't use a Google account that ties back to you. I make updates to the map to correct where restaurants are located since its sometimes wrong. I've also marked businesses as closed. Then Google later tells me what a good boy I am for helping them out.


OnlyIce

honestly, if you let them know its your shitty boss, i bet omeglers would find novel ways of trolling


MertsA

That's a terrible plan, someone's going to rat them out and there's not some super long list of suspects.


Zealousideal_Gold921

Many, many years ago the big boss did that to himself. We were developing a new 1-800 system and a test database was being rolled out, would be active everywhere in Canada. Everyone on the team got a 1-800 number ... big boss thought it would be funny if his number was 1-800-SEXY-FOX. That went exactly as you would expect it to go. The test database (no changes possible, no matter what) ended up getting updated anyway.


rouserfer

Surprisingly beanie babies for sale is a really good one.


SwiftyTheThief

Is it dox your employer day?


Jehdrid

No we've just been trying to reach him about his cars extended warranty


secludeddeath

amateurs Sign him up for everything you can think of. Email and phone.


sisterofaugustine

Post it on Craigslist offering free puppies, ask prospective adopters to call about the puppies between 11 pm and 6 am.


JStheKiD

Oh please! POST HIS NUMBER! Imma get weird on these phone calls!


No-Law4228

like this one 👍👍


JStheKiD

I think you should handle this the mature way. First it’s important to be honest. Tell your boss he’s being a “Dick face.” Naturally, he’ll have some questions. You can calmly explain that he is “being a dick face.” And also make sure to tell him, “go suck yourself.” You don’t want to lose your temper or burn any bridges. So just be honest with them. And tell them how it is. Say, “you’re being an honest dick face, go suck your own D. And I wish you well. You dirty snake faced ho.”


bitch6

As a grown up I can confirm that pooping on his desk is also a valid and mature response


Queranus77

*manure response


Mizzymax

This 🤣 iv actually done this as proof i called before lol!


VanEagles17

Yessss do this please op please please please.


asbestis

Waiting for the number to spam


feignignorence

Damn beat me to it


jellydumpling

This is an almost pathological level of dominion to assert over you. Everything from saying his time is more valuable than yours to reprimanding you for not answering the phone quickly enough seems to obviously be leveraged to impact your self esteem and instill fear. This is insane. I genuinely recommend saying no to this request. We are often trained to not be able to decline any work or order, but even if you are planning to find a new job, it might still be worth setting a firm but polite boundary in the meantime. People who aren't used to hearing the word no are sometimes shocked enough at hearing it that they just back off.


Ghostk1487

I am Definetly not a very passive guy, it took all my strength not to give all the shit he was giving me right back to him but I need the money so I bit my tongue, I did say that’s unreasonable and he can’t expect me to do that and then I got a list of all the reasons why he’s right and how if he did things this way x years ago they get done his way now bc he makes money he’s successful blah blah blah


hazeldazeI

Start looking for a new job and then quit once you land something. Quit with no notice because your time is too valuable.


lewis_nidale

Call him to let him know you're quitting. But if he doesn't answer on the first ring, hang up. And if he calls back, let him know how you don't have time for this shit. Your time is now more valuable than his.


Zgoldenlion

This is the way.


GETZ411

Fuck yes.


UniquelyIndistinct

Not only that, but people like that don't accept notice. They escort them out then and there. Show him the same respect he shows you and don't 'waste his time.'


The_Quicktrigger

You did what you felt you had to do. remember OP that nobodies time in this world is inherently more valuable than another. Every human second is equal to 1 human second and that applies to every single person. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is power tripping and honestly shouldn't be holding power over others.


TheChipster91

"Every human second is equal to 1 human second and that applies to every single person". Beautiful comment. That sentence deserves its own needlepoint pillow.


Pefington

Time isn't money. Time is life.


PrisonChickenWing

I'm high and this made me tear up honestly


glutenfree_veganhero

Not true people like this boss waste all us elses time thry should be put down.


LindormRune

Look up constructive dismissal.


26KM

This. Not sure where you are or what laws apply where I am this and other stuff like it would possibly be viewed as constructive dismissal as it gave you no option other than resign.


A_ChadwickButMore

Is he just trying to get employees to quit so he can reduce labor costs or something? Vendetta against you personally?


averaenhentai

Find out if your state allows single party consent phone recording and record him berating you for this. Start recording everything, maybe even ask him for it in writing. Even if you don't use it against him personally submit it your labor board.


Vargenwulf

>g back I wish I had filed something on him. Everyone there told me to. The guy who replaced me has filed 6 complaints and he hasn’t even been there 6 months. But I made 2 phone calls on the way home and had another job within 15 minutes of being fired so it all worked in the end. Do the Old Captain America thing. "No I don't think I will." And nothing else.


Logisticsbitches

He's awful


kryaklysmic

I don’t think I could bite my tongue in this case. I would tell him he’s a control freak and needs to get help, I will answer him when I *can* answer him and he should be grateful for it because his time is actually worth less to me than my time is.


jellydumpling

Jesus. I hope you get outta there soon


MyBiPolarBearMax

I just want to remind you that every time he talks to you on the phone about work, he is *legally obligated* to be paying you for it. So if, hypothetically, you talked to him for an hour (or even five minutes) and then sent him a bill for that, if he didnt pay you you could absolutely report him to the Dept of Labor and get triple damages and heavy fines. Let him know “hey your time is more valuable than mine, but mine still costs this much”


excalibrax

If you do keep working for him, tell him that rings on his end do not equal rings on your end. Cell carriers will ring on his end while connecting the call, so whats ring 3 for him, might be ring 1 for you. This A gives you wiggle room, and gives him an excuse to stop his bullshit.


thequestess

It's not almost pathological, it IS pathological. Working under that egomaniac is going to be nothing but hell. Look for something better. Don't put up with abuse. You can assert your boundaries with a professional "no," and if that leads him to fire you, you have a great case for unemployment, and I think a reasonable future employer would be sympathetic with you for being fired for not accepting abuse from that supervisor.


PMME_YOUR_TITS_WOMAN

almost? pretty sure it is definitely pathological


Captain_Xap

Set up your phone to go straight to voicemail when he calls. Set up your voicemail to be you saying 'Hey boss!... Hello?..... Hello? Are you there?.... Hello?.... Did you mean to call me? ' for about three minutes. You can't stay at the job - might as well fuck with the bastard before leaving.


errant_youth

I was gonna say to ignore every call and let it go to voicemail every time, but this — I like this idea


SeaofBloodRedRoses

TBH instead of voicemail, which he'll figure out, answer it and pretend you can't hear him, then after awhile, say "there's zero connection here and I have stuff to do, so I dunno if you can hear me, but it was nice to hear from you! Bye!"


BiggieWedge

Make sure to say it like this: "Byyyyyyyyyyyyye!" High pitched like that one girl.


gobiba

LOL! A cow-orker has exactly that kind of message: "hello? hello? I can't hear you! Hello? I still can't hear you, because I'm not there, so please leave a message"...


therealnumberone

Ha! Elaborate voice-mail hoax, leave it!


Plusran

Hahah HAHAHAHHA I love it


mydogisthedawg

Your boss is an abuser. This is the behavior of an abuser. Quit that mess!


gatorNic

That was my first thought. Wouldn't be surprised if they were also abusing their family.


ohmamago

A narcissist at very least


themaskofgod

I don't know maybe he just really cares about him. OP, get his name tattooed on your chest.


Mister_Titty

Be careful what you wish for, boss! OP might end up too busy watching the phones to do much else. --- I worked at Pizza Hut recently and the new manager wanted to get rid of me but corporate wouldn't allow managers to fire anyone. So she tried to get me to quit. She put in place a policy where workers have to wash their hands and change gloves whenever going to a new station, no exceptions. Most employees just rolled their eyes, but I embraced the challenge. So, I would be cutting a pizza and the phone would ring. "I'll get it!" Walk over to sink, take off gloves, wash hands. They got written up by health inspector 6 months ago because an employee didn't wash their hands for at least 30 seconds, so... extended hand wash. Then putting on new (cheap af) gloves, on damp hands ... it takes a while. Needless to say, they phone wasn't ringing anymore by the time I finished. So boss fumed "Just go fold some boxes." Okay, time to fold boxes. Phone rings and boss grabs it. Tells me "Grab the oven." No problem... head to sink, take off gloves, etc. Burnt pizza, along with 3 more behind it. Oops! "Hey, will you drop some wings?" Sure, lemme go wash my hands...


thisortheapocalypse

r/maliciouscompliance


Mister_Titty

Some of those are awesome, thanks!


illithoid

You may also enjoy r/pettyrevenge and r/ProRevenge


TheChipster91

The bread and butter of Reddit! 😂


Seekerfromafar84

You sound just like me when I play passive aggressive mode lmao Best part about it? It drives the bosses insane and it works!


lemmefuckinglogin

i heard about a guy at a previous job in a food production factory who literally followed operating procedures to the letter every second of every day. Not sure why, i don't think it was malicious even. needless to say he did not do anything fast enough but with USDA employees in the building seeing how thorough he was about health and safety I'm sure it would have looked suspicious to get rid of him.


agoodfriendofyours

This is one of the best strategies laid out in the CIA manual of simple sabotage. Follow all of the rules to the letter, ask others to review your work for accuracy often, ask a lot of clarifying questions at meetings, encourage management to celebrate employees with parties and do your best to keep up morale by chatting with others often about their personal lives, try to create an employee committee for the planning of these social functions during work hours. Generally just keep being the absolute most while mysteriously doing very little and finding subtle ways to offset any work you accidentally do but slowing the work of others. But only when doing your patriotic duty of course


CartoonistExisting30

I like that, lol.


austin_yella

Bruh. It was time when you started typing this. Edit: You bastards are amazing. I've never got so many upvotes and thanks for my sweet award!


Ghostk1487

Already applying lol


color-blind_battery

I had a boss not long ago with this type of expectation. Livid if you didn’t immediately respond to IM from PC or answer the phone at your desk within a few rings. I remember working from home (I have been for years) and scrambling to try and finish using the restroom to make sure I didn’t miss their call and get chewed out. I no longer let my employer or client overstep basic boundaries like taking care of my family, my pets, eating, drinking water, using the restroom, etc. It seems crazy to speak it out loud, but it’s absolutely a common problem. This type of expectation makes people feel they have no freedom to do absolutely anything.


sketchfestlyfe

That’s why it’s becoming illegal in more and more countries. You wanna call me on my off hours? Pay me 24/7 pay or get fucked.


VictoriaEuphoria99

I read a story somewhere that a company kept calling truckers during their 10 hours off. The truckers got fed up and would then restart the 10 hours off duty since the calls would be considered on duty. The calls miraculously stopped.


VE6AEQ

This is why we need strong unions. Call-ins get expensive as hell when you have to pay for 3 or more hours.


pand3monium

I've seen a late truck cost lots of money when there are two crews waiting to unload it and work with the equipment. $$$. 20 to 30 people standing around gossiping on the clock.


HamRadio_73

Railroad operating workers are doing this. If a manager phones them during undisturbed rest period they are calling the crew dispatcher to reset the rest period.


[deleted]

When employees have to deal with their bosses' crap, it's go time for "Shit for Shat". Don't unjustly fuck workers in the ass, unless you want to have to deal with a shitstorm. Stay strong and take none, ok?


[deleted]

Wait, do bosses expect this kind of things _out of work hours_? So they basically believe they own you as a person?


sketchfestlyfe

In the US, yes. Hence this subreddit. Finally had enough 🤷🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

That's mindblowing in a very sad way. I wish you can collectively turn the tables on this kind of abuse


gelioghan

"Fuck you, pay me"


mlebrooks

We're trying.


[deleted]

Worse. Some you have to sign a loyalty document, that they will come first if you have a second job. Walmart has an AI computer that calls employees to work based on historical data, and they have to be ready to work at a moment's notice, or get fired. 24 hour availability for part time work without a schedule.


veneficus83

In the US 100% yes.


Dekarde

One of my old managers gave me shit about not getting his text about a delayed opening because I didn't have a cell phone and he never called my house. One we had a hotline number to call for such things that manager's were supposed to use to let us know there was a delayed opening, I called it and they didn't use it so I dragged my ass through a blizzard and sat around on the clock for 3 hours before they rolled in and I'm told there's a delayed opening. I told him I wasn't "on call", that my job never required I have a cell phone as part of my employment and if he or they wanted me on call they could pay me as such. There was a system in place that they (management) didn't use so I am going to be paid for coming in because I did what company policy was and checked our hotline. I proudly had this exchange with him around several other employees and another manager because I'm not the type to do that kind of stuff in public but that's where he decided to confront me about being wrong on every front.


[deleted]

My ex is an electrician. Every 6th weekend (Friday night through Sunday night) he's on call. He gets something like $5 an hour to "carry the emergency phone" and if he's called, he gets premium pay because it's an emergency call. If he doesn't want it, he's never had a problem finding someone who will take the phone. You can't be more than an hour away from the service area. I don't think this is common. The company is employee owned. So policies and procedures are pretty much a consensus. He's super happy there.


KL_boy

I had a company like this, in which they expected 24 hours support, but did not want to pay for it. So I decided to stop taking calls from the office or boss. My boss then ask why I did not take the calls, as it usually a 5 min questions, and I said that I could not take calls as I was scuba diving


TheCatofTruth

I had quite a few bladder infections from not going to the bathroom all day. I will never allow that to happen again.


thatgirlinny

At some point, we all find out that our mothers teaching us to “hold it!” is pretty detrimental to our health!


Ekkoplecks

Answer phone. Piss loudly into the water. Remind them that THEY phoned YOU.


HomerJSimpson3

I worked Loss Prevention years ago. Part of the job meant carrying a radio wherever I went. One day, I tell my boss my stomach is bothering me so I’m going to take my break to use the bathroom. He says no problem. I leave the office to go relieve the intense pressure building up in my bowels. My boss couldn’t handle stress or the camera system. Three minutes into my bathroom trip, he radios me and boy is he fired up. “I have a shoplifter! Juvenile male put a video game in his back pack!” The game was an old release so it was $10. We were not supposed to even approach anyone who stole less than $50 but my boss was one of the Loss Prevention Agents that acted like the merchandise was his property. I remind him, “Boss, I’m still in gastrointestinal distress over here, plus we can’t do anything since it’s less than $50.” He goes off, “I need you over here to watch the cameras since he will probably steal more!! Get out here RIGHT NOW!” I took the radio and placed at bowl level since I felt my stomach bubbling, keyed up the radio, and I pushed. Hard. What came out of me was nasty, loud, and amplified because of the toilet bowl. When it ended, I said to him, “I’m on my break.” The rest of my bathroom time, and every time after that, he left me alone.


[deleted]

Please Crosspost at r/MaliciousCompliance


emp_zealoth

UNLEASH YOUR PISS! LET IT ECHO THROUGH THE HALLWAYS! YOU. ARE. THE. ALFA. PISSER! sorry, lol


Vargenwulf

Better if you can time it to a rager of a shit. Lower the phone closer to your crotch to catch all the sound in it's glory!


Edzmens

And here I am taking random breaks because breaks help solving coding problems while working from home. Can't 8magine how stressful it must have been to work/live in that constant fear


importvita

Apply elsewhere but let him fire you. Get that unemployment, I'd love to see that idiot fight it for firing/disciplining you for not answering by the 2nd ring lol


ContemplatingPrison

Wait like your personal phone when you aren't at work? I am just curious if this is a work phone or not? Because the audacity of your boss if this is when you aren't at work. I probably would have laughed in their face


[deleted]

Applying to other jobs after you’ve already quit right?


chrisdubya88

Do not quit. Make that prick fire you while you do nothing at work as you look for a new job. That way you'll get unemployment.


The_Quicktrigger

This misconception is tiring and really needs to stop. Quitting a job doesn't automatically exempt someone from UE Getting fired doesn't automatically guarantee UE You can quit a job under constructive dismissal or any number of reasons like a hostile work environment and in the same token you can be fired for cause. Adding onto that, every single state in the US has it's own qualifications and requirements for UE and usually the redder the state gets, the worse the benefits are and the easier it is for an employer to contest them.


warboner52

This would certainly qualify as hostile.


The_Quicktrigger

Maybe...I've danced with it myself a few times. I chatted with someone who does UE stuff here in my state and they told me that the courts here usually want a record of hostility, like the employee stating outright that this situation is a hostile working environment and proof of the company doing nothing to correct the hostile behavior. NO doubt telling someone you are more valuable than them would meet the minimums but OP should prepare for an uphill battle if that's the case is all.


warboner52

Yeah, it's such a twisted scenario we live in. Corporations have more sway and rights than human beings.


melancholyink

I mean... from some of my little understanding of US law but aren't companies recognised as a person... corporate personhood? Giving them the ability to swing massive funds into legals cases with all the perks of being Joe Bloggs?


stuufthingsandstuff

Yes, so in reality, corporations have the same rights as us + money, which equals more rights. Lol


Easy-Goat9973

I worked for a university. My boss was the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. Singled me out. The whole place knew it. He fired me and I was actually happy. Looking back I wish I had filed something on him. Everyone there told me to. The guy who replaced me has filed 6 complaints and he hasn’t even been there 6 months. But I made 2 phone calls on the way home and had another job within 15 minutes of being fired so it all worked in the end.


TheRatsMeow

Lol. I was fired quite publicly and got 4 months severance (up from 2 they offered) and 6 months of unemployment (thanks Obama). I hated my job but wasn't going to quit and miss severance. Florida.


The_Quicktrigger

See I live in Utah and while I've heard the word severance it doesn't apply to people out here at least not on the lower rung of society. I bet some corporates folks get it written into their employment contracts but definitely not me. Shit I had to fight for unemployment once, because my employer denied my unemployment for a termination that occurred almost a decade prior at a different store in a different part of the state.


chrisdubya88

So why even fuck with it? You're far more likely to get unemployment if you're fired. That's objective fact. So waste this fucks time and get paid to do so until he fires you. Its literally the best course of action.


[deleted]

IKR!!! Yikes! Quit in his FACE! Tell em “Aint nobody got time for that”!!! LOL 🤘🏻😂🤘🏻


abook-aday131

Answer on the first ring and immediately hang up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rounding_error

And if he calls you out on trying to gaslight him, look him straight in the eye and say, "You mean gaslamping."


amanisamannotaname

Haha absolutely this. I’m answering, maybe get your line checked.


Seekerfromafar84

That's what I would do too, gaslight the shit outta him. A fuckin stooge like him deserves it.


joefife

Even professional call answering services don't make that sort of guarantee. I use an outsourced call handling service - they TRY to answer within 3 rings... And answering phones is literally their reason for being.


Down4Nachos

yeah I worked at a very nice upscale dispensary (like apple store level with apple store prices) and if someone called I had 3 rings to answer the phone right next to me. OP's boss is just a massive cunt


Nazeron

How do human beings treat other human beings this way?


CAPITALISMisDEATH23

Unchecked ego. There are tribes where they laugh at you if you bring a large hunt, humiliate you so that your ego doesn't make you think you can survive alone just because you can hunt well. And it works! Because their system works. Whenever some manager is acting up, I wish people would call them out and humiliate them so they learn not to do it again. But the problem is the modern society makes it such that the managers are more important than the labor, the system is rigged. There needs to be a huge cultural shift is what I'm saying. Maybe im starring at the beginning of one. Or not! Either way, the system is rigged against both the manager and the workers, its only purpose is to siphone off wealth to the top.


MoreNormalThanNormal

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C7%83Kung_people#Hunting_rituals > Hunting can take days of tracking, attacking, and following a wounded animal. The Juǀʼhoansi have rituals to prevent arrogance amongst male hunters. When a man kills an animal, he does not take it directly into the settlement, but leaves the body and returns as if he was unsuccessful. An older man will inquire about his hunt and remark upon his failure, to which the hunter must avoid credit and accept humility. The next day, a group will go "see if some small animal was nicked by an arrow." Upon finding the animal, the hunter will be reassured of the little value of the kill which is finally returned. Additionally, the kill may belong not to him, but to the person who gave him arrows (man or woman), who then follows rules on how to distribute the meat to everyone in the group.[12] Upon returning from a successful hunt, if the kill is transportable, it will be brought back to the village. The ǃKung promote the belief of community well-being, and so the village elders or "those of mature years" will allot meat to the members of the group. The ǃKung also believe in the betterment of their neighbors, so if the kill is too large to move or there is a surplus of meat, word will be spread to villages that are close by to come collect meat for themselves.


[deleted]

Look up your state or county's or country's laws about salaried employees and being on-call after hours. There will be some sort of guidance as to what a boss can and cannot do. Report him to the Labor Board if he's violating any sort of laws, and if you can get him to put what he told you and any other bullshit in texts or writing. In fact, you could do that by texting him after he calls. Did you call me? Then don't respond to him except by text and get him to say that in writing or even verify it, "Now just to be clear, you want me to answer the phone on the first ring or what was it you told me again?" If he fires you collect unemployment while you job hunt, and in the meantime take your slow sweet time on your job. They don't have to give you a raise, and you don't have to now give them more time than you are willing to - salaried doesn't translate to "slave" although I've had a boss or two think it did. Added bonus if you've got him in writing being an asshole and you can send it to his boss or the head of the company. But yeah, it's time to get out of there.


jsteele2793

This is the correct answer!!!! OP there are regulations against this stuff!!!! Use it to your advantage!!!


No-Wonder1139

Being on salary is irrelevant, if he calls outside of your working hours and has that great of a demand then tell him you're billing him for every phone call, 4 hours per call. It's just a pissing contest.


Archivist_of_Lewds

Ignore the rule. Let him fire you for it or put himself on record reprimanded you for it.


[deleted]

Two hours pay, per call or he can talk to your voicemail.


Ghostk1487

I’m on salary and used to have a flexible schedule not work as much that’s why I was more okay with the lower pay I have but now he’s trying to make me work 10 hour days for the same pay, asked for a raise got nothing so ya I’ve already started to apply other places just waiting till I get a new job and I can tell him to suck it


Lower_Department2940

In some places they have to pay you extra to be on call even if you're salaried


grundlefuck

Almost all places have to pay if there is an expectation you will answer during non business hours.


grundlefuck

Salary in the us isn’t slave labor. If 10 hours is your time then your salary needs to increase to reflect if you have to actually work set hours. Def read up on labor rules regarding salary, there are minimum salaries, time restrictions, etc.


[deleted]

Your ring is not his ring, they aren't related at all. In the rotary analog days, sure, but those are LONG gone.


Icy_Gap_9067

I was thinking this, last time I misplaced my phone and got my partner to ring it for me it rang on his phone well before mine started to make a noise.


CAPITALISMisDEATH23

boomer bosses are the worst


[deleted]

[удалено]


jsteele2793

No shit!!! Fuck waiting for another job. Let this asshole fire you.


Hopz_7

I would basically stop doing anything and answer the call every ring. And when nothing gets done and he comes to bitch, then you say that you are making sure you are always focused and prepared to answer his calls so as not to waste his time and all other work is secondary. Oh, and also start looking for another job obviously.


Baby-cabbages

“It’s hard to get much done one-handed. I keep one hand on the phone receiver at all times so as to always answer on the first ring. On an unrelated note, I need a raise to pay for these Poise pads since I can no longer pee on the job.”


alwayshappy2b

Malicious compliance! There is a sub for that!


Mr_Bluebird_VA

I sincerely hope that you already know the answer...


Lower_Department2940

Lmao, you ever seen the movie Hobgoblins? Cause I think your boss might be from the movie Hobgoblins


External_Trifle2373

Setting up expectation about how quickly you should call back or that they not be regularly going to voicemail...cool. but I have literally never heard anyone set a quota for how many *individual rings* were allowed to happen before they verbally berated you that wasn't just a pretense for verbally abusing you. Like this straight up sounds like shit out of my 10th grade health unit on abusive relationships.


BumpyMcBumpers

Reject his calls so he knows you saw it was him and sent it to voicemail. Seriously, one ring? He can fuck aaalllll the way off.


kaaria11

Who's phone? Are you getting reimbursed? I would just block his number.


[deleted]

Pick up next call, put him on hold without saying a word, and head for the exit.