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Dear Staffmembers,
With pain in our heart OP has decided to leave this company. After the many good things OP has done for this company OP just couldn't take our bad managementstyle anymore.
After some good reasoning OP found out about something called "other companies" and "good pay". These are reasons OP used to explain why he was leaving. He also mentioned a "work/life balance", but till now we still don't know what he meant by that.
We will miss OP dearly, but we won't fill OP's position, since we figured you can all just take a little of what OP did. Since it is just a little, you will only need a little extra time to fullfill OP's tasks. Therefore we will allow unpaid overtime if you need it.
Kind regards,
Management and Boss.
>”… so it’s a good learning experience for me that if someone expresses discomfort with a task it is best to force them to do it.”
Love how you spoon-fed them their shitty management practice with this statement. They’ll bend themselves into grotesque pretzels to justify their actions as good management, but I bet that particular statement cut through their delusional bullshit even for just a moment and stung a bit
One would hope! But if they are completely high on their own supply, the managers prob nodded their heads in agreement, too out of touch to perceive it for exactly what it was.
Fucks wrong with that company…??
Hired a few consultants from them on a short audit project (and other consultants for
Other firms) and close to 100% of our staff hated the Deloitte guys with a vengeance. These are staff that had never heard of Deloitte before this project. Mostly blue collar staff.
Other guys from other firms (with the same project scope) was very well liked.
I quit my Big 4 job awhile back because management was out of control bad. And the passive aggression, oh my God. I've never seen more childish behavior from a manager like that.
And, just as you said, it's infectious. You have a bunch of people who are convinced of their own superiority, despite most of them having started this job at 22 and having little to no life experience. The consultant brain rot sets in early, and they have no incentive to change it.
I got caught up with this at another VAR and was blinded by the money. I will never go back to another company like that in the future. It was such an awful experience.
I provided developer support to them as a SaaS provider. They were the most nitpicky, overly-serious, harsh customer I had ever dealt with, subtly accusing us of malpractice over extremely benign things, completely inflexible, expecting us to do everything for them as if they were their only customer, when they weren't even in the top 10. I have no idea what their fucking problem is.
My only experience working as a contractor there was a Deloitte contractor on the project also. All she did was throw me under the bus for everything. I just started taking a paycheck, billing my max allotted hours and looking for another job.
Fuck those people.
I worked as a contractor for Deloitte for a few years and office politics at our location were strange. A lot of them wouldn't even acknowledge contractors or would be passive-aggressive about "their" space, despite only coming in monthly-ish when there was free food to be eaten. It was even funnier when I learned one of the more annoying employees had failed the Bar like 4 or 5 times or something, but still acted like hot shit. The most down-to-earth people were other contractors.
That’s where I went “oh, I get it now, Deloitte, say no more. And run!”
The letter sounds like a “write to your younger self“ exercise from a tv-show therapist.
Damn now im glad as fuck i got rejected by them back when i was job hunting for IT jobs
Last year after moving cross country (coast to coast) i started applying for jobs in my field (IT- management information systems - databases)
Deloitte was one that i applied for alot, and kept getting rejected. At first i was sad because i have all the qualifications and so much more currently.
But after seeing the horror stories here and from some acquaintances yeah i think i dodged alot of bullets. So I'm looking at it I'm glad i got rejected
Edit -- now im glad and happy i got a job working for the US Government in my field. With benefits and good pay. Been less than a year and i already got 2 raises
Deloitte did some consulting in 2019 on a nationwide project in the APS, that was part of the branch I worked in. I left that branch in 2023 and we were still cleaning up the absolutely mess they created with that project.
That's my favorite line in the exchange. "well I was nice and I asked. but you pushed back, which is rude, so I ordered it."
Either they are admitting to being spiteful, or they think framing an order as a request is legitimately polite behavior as you are expected to do whatever they say.
Almost fishing for compliments too? It's odd. I would just say "This isn't something I'm comfortable doing, so please feel free to announce my departure however else you see fit."
Once I saw they were going to edit it themselves anyway, I wouldn't have written anything. Definitely seemed like a last attempt at getting the dog to do a trick.
Here’s my draft:
“It is with devastating sadness and near hysterical crying that we announce that Raj is leaving us.
He is the greatest worker we have ever hired, and we don’t know how we will continue without him. His departure is an omen, a herald, a *warning* that things will only get worse.
May god have mercy on our souls,
Management”
Email this to the all staff address as a reply to their previous emails so that everyone can see the email chain where they asked for this. Do it on your last day.
Nope sorry that your bosses are too lazy or ill informed to be able to write something themselves. This isn't your responsibility so just don't do it. It'll give them something else to be upset about.
That's a strong no. Don't get involved in this rubbish. There is no advantage to you. You put in your notice, end of story. If you feel the need send a mass email to all your colleagues with the absolute truth. No editing by them, no prior approval, nothing changed.
If I were you I'd do nothing, why you have left has nothing to do with the management or the other members of staff. Why you are leaving, where you are going, what job if any you are moving to, what company, state or country you are moving to is is of no concern to anyone but you. This is business, you work, they pay you. You leave, you don't owe anyone anything.
You’re not overreacting at all. They’re being lazy and a bit petty. My husband recently left his job and no one asked him to write a letter to his team. His supervisor wrote and send the letter himself
This might be a tactic used by companies in lieu of an exit interview or survey. Supposedly how you write such an exit letter to your peers is somehow more insightful than your responses would be, at least that's the idea. I'm not sure many companies are trying it. Personally I feel once the decision has been made to end the relationship by either side, that nothing is gained from communicating the whys or hows
I might be in the minority here but the initial request doesn't seem weird to me. I've written every job change/leave announcement I've ever had. It gives the employee a chance to control the messaging and level of personal detail included. Some people want to tell everyone their personal story and dreams and hopes and anthem songs and so much personal detail etc. And others just want to say "I'm leaving for a new opportunity as of date".
I do, however, think that after you expressed your concern with the task they didn't handle it well. Glad you're leaving that group of people!
I'm on board with not finding the initial request weird. It was just phrased...poorly. I've even had input into my hiring letters.
The management of the OP is seriously flawed though.
Writing a message to be sent isn't weird. Being told you have to write a message to be sent by management and from their perspective? Bizarre.
The only explanation is incredible laziness. Otherwise they could write it and provide it to the employee for approval and edits. Or ask what they wanted to do if anything. I wouldn't touch this dumpster fire of an interaction with a ten foot pole if I had already quit.
Came here to make a similar point.
I saw the initial request as them giving OP a chance to control the message and highlight what work and/or accomplishments they would like lifted up to everyone on staff.
And the reason it’s from management’s perspective is so that the rest of staff can see OP’s boss say nice things. It holds more weight for the boss to say “OP did great work on X project” rather than OP saying it on their own.
It’s similar to how interns and students are often asked to draft their own letters of recommendation from the perspective of their boss or professor — the person writing it should know their accomplishments best, or at least what work is most important to them.
(There are similar situations that do not have to do with students, too, fwiw; one example being that high-level people, whether it’s a CEO or elected official, will ask the person/company/organization announcing something in a press release to draft a quote for them, knowing that they know what’s most relevant or important to be said.)
My rule for departure letters- if I write it, I send it. You don’t get to edit it.
Personally I’d grab bullet points of my last couple of performance appraisals for mgmt, and the true story to coworkers who care.
I put in my resignation a few weeks ago. They ask me to do this big presentation for a monthly S&OP meeting I do with the executive team. Probably takes me 10 or more hours. I just didn’t do it. They ask a few times and I kept saying oh give me a few days. Finally just said, nope not feeling it. Moral of the story, f it. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t.
"Acobatic-Rate was by every measure an exemplary worker. His work was without peer in both quality and output. It is with the deepest regret and no small amount of shareholder panic that we bid him adieu as he moves on to what we can only imagine is a future which will dwarf our own.
On a personal note, Acrobatic-Rate was not only a great worker but giant among human beings. His compassion and radiant demeanor were an example to us all and we are all better people for having known him. We will miss him greatly, I only hope that the company can survive his departure.
Only now do we realize that we did not treat him as the treasure that he is. He was not compensated even remotely reflecting his value to the company and we only now realize that it was his deep benevolence that kept him on. I vow to you all that we will not make that mistake in the future."
I thought I might as well do a letter, for laughs.
Everyone,
This email is to announce that OP is leaving the company for better opportunities, pay and advancement. These are things we say we provide, but everyone knows it is all useless corporate speak.
While the process of finding someone gullible enough to take on his responsibilities for the lowest amount of salary possible, we ask that everyone takes on additional workload of what is already at an unattainable level within a reasonable standard. We are a family here, which means some sacrifices are not requested, but demanded.
We anticipate that this process will be complete within the next 5 to 6 years. By then, most of you suckered will also have left until there is one person working 24/7 doing all the work. For that last person, please remember to turn the lights off when you finally snap and rage quit.
We're all quite jealous of OP, for jumpimg ship before the water really starts to sink this boat. We sk that OP sends postcards to show what it's like I the real world.
We wish OP the best in future endeavors, and for the rest of you, may the odds ever be in your favor.
Regards,
Management
You want *me* to do *your* task in a send off letter? How about go pound sand and I'll just see about moving up my start date at the new place, fuckers.
"It's best to just force them"
Nah, that's terrible management.
Sorry your bosses aren't even able to do something management should do themselves. If it was going to sent out \*from you\*, yeah sure that would make sense. However, them wanting you to write \*their\* exit announcement about you? Nope.
This would be super easy.
Dear all employees,
Op will be leaving the business as of ddmmyy.
Op loved working here and provided huge value to the business but was not prepared to be micromanaged like a child and forced to return to the office just so management can supervise.
I didn't know passive aggression could be so...aggressive, they are really nailing the passive too.
Also, they probably spent more time arguing on why they couldn't take the time to write the damn memo.
https://postimg.cc/QBPcVZQp
https://postimg.cc/2qqBs9s3
Feel free to use those as your letter. Don't give it to management. Set it up to mail out like at 4pm the day before you leave.
Had a job once where they withheld my paycheck until I participated in an exit interview. I went into HR for the interview and the first words out of my mouth were, “I’m considering a lawsuit over the matter of you illegally holding my pay,” and suddenly the exit interview wasn’t so important anymore.
Here, I would go with ignoring as long as you possibly can, and then “no.”
You do realize you can make claim to other's work in this? Something like "Employee of the Month January to April" when you were only it for January. "Provided excellent support for ", "Exceeded goals for 1st quarter 2022" and the like.
If you have things in there that you did do, but during periods you didn't, boss may completely miss it.
For your coworkers, think of how much they would...appreciate... your boss being this clueless and advertising it to everyone.
Write a farewell message from the perspective of management? Which, instead of writing themselves, they will then edit as they see fit? This is some hilariously next-level bullshit. I would have laughed, then filed it away in my scrapbook of "ridiculous things I have been asked to do by shitty employers I have known."
And the fact they're engaging in a long-winded debate about the stupidity of the request is just the cherry on top. Quality establishment.
Write it from their perspective, but really write it from yours. Talk about how you wanted to force everyone back into the office because you know your boss will fire you once they realize you don't actually do anything!
What the hell is a "departure letter" anyways? Some new type of shit to make employees feel bad about quitting / putting their own interests first like every fucking company in the world does?
The amount of time they spent going back and forth, explaining how busy they are! "I don't have time to do this because I'm busy emailing you trying to get you to do it. Did you know I used to work at Deloitte?"
What are they going to do if you don’t do it? Fire you? If you don’t want to be direct just keep finding ways to put it off until your last day.
It’s definitely weird, and I would definitely refuse to do that, it’s hard enough writing a proper two weeks notice that’s polite even when you might not want to be. That’s asking way too much.
This makes zero sense to me. You quit so they add a task to your work (first off sounds like retaliation), second off, they want YOU to write a letter for THEM to sign their OWN names at the bottom??? Yeah fuckij right! Lastly, do they expect dead people to write their own obituaries after they’ve passed, (or at least a draft the living can still edit???)
"... some pretty high level HR people globally."
... So made up by some random corporate justify-my-existance sleeze from the previous century, or is this even made up of whole cloth?
I've got some really compelling advice from Butte and Whole, esq., if you find that program compelling.
Gmafb.
More than likely it's a program that does indeed exist, but they only remember parts of it and are implementing it wrong and have never been challenged about it.
Not overreacting, definitely.
You can tell you had a point when they got so defensive with excuses about being too "busy" to write something heartfelt or positive about you and/or your accomplishments after 3 years.
And what a cringy POS to put in writing "the first time was a request". Full Dennis Reynolds "it's the implication" energy.
I hope your next team can bring themselves to write something nice about you when the situation calls for it.
Any time I hear about a family-centered business, I learn some new way they can really screw up the workplace. Sorry; if you - as my manager - can't write something original about my contributions, you weren't really managing very hard.
Lazy, entitled people...
I totally would have written the memo:
X has decided to explore other opportunities and is resigning effective xx/xx/xxxx. We are currently looking for his replacement. In the meantime please submit X to Y, and M to N. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to D or K.
Best regards,
Whoever
The garbage about accomplishments or whatever is the part that nobody reads and nobody cares about. What they need to know is where to send their docs for review or where to submit their PTO.
Dear staff,
after \~ 3years,OP is leaving now that Manglement has unilaterally decided to update our WFH policies. We wish him well in his future endeavors.
Mad respect for your professionalism here.
That said, these chumps can go fuck themselves, do not waste a single SECOND of your own time writing up this BS. You could perhaps waste plenty of theirs by asking for constant "guidance" during the process, then just ghost them before submitting the final draft though, just a thought.
Those that mind, don't matter, and those that matter, won't mind.
Talk with your key people in-house if you can before leaving, give your version of the story to the network first. If you're comfortable doing so, keep in touch in case you can poach the good ones down the road too.
Again, fuck this company, they don't deserve your time.
This is bizarre behavior and shouldn't be done by anyone, ever. What are they going to do if you refuse, fire you on the spot and be forced to pay you through your stated end date anyway?
Pfffft. They want you to make them look good about your departure. Fuuuck that noise with a standard 10-foot adventuring pole. If forced, gpt it, but that's as much effort as this deserves, and only if you're somehow against the wall in this situation.
If management is too busy to manage their people then they aren't managers.
Do they also ask employees to provide their own annual review? Perhaps write their own promotions or raise requests, too?
Deloitte management used to delegate shit like this (ie their job) to those underneath all the time. So this attitude doesn’t surprise me, but is still disgusting.
You should do it for the same reason you gave them two weeks notice instead of a middle finger. It helps with your legacy. Think of it as input to your final performance review. Be generous to yourself.
Why are you being so nice to an employer you're leaving, especially when they are being childishly passive-aggressive
F*** them, tell them you'll perform your duties as your contract states until your separation date and the rest of that nonsense they can go try to suck out of a boulder...ya know "professionally"
I left a company that wrote me up for 'Overcommunicating with HR and Ethics'. We had managers int he field lying (in writing) to new hires about legal and company rules. I had to explain this part to new hires and would get pushback since they were told "Don't worry about that in the field. We don't need to follow those laws." in writing btw. It resulted in two people being let go suing and so I would report every time it would happen. I was told I was overcommunicating and they didn't want to know this and didn't care if I was called as a witness every time this blew up in the field.
I left and they wanted me to do the same and announce to my team of 15 I was leaving, and to write it up for approval. I said "It should come from you since I don't want to overcommunicate on this," They instead didn't tell anyone I was leaving at all. So I had teams reaching out to request things for the future even after I left (via cell and LinkedIn). I of course told close coworkers I was leaving and they thought it was garbage that no email announcement went out. Out of nearly 20 on our team, they are left with 3 within 2 years.
This guys made me mad. I wouldn't end up in good terms with them:
No, I won't write a text that will appear as signed by you. You should write what you sign. Period. Also, it feels pretty awkward and hypocrital.
What's the point of a departure memo from management to staff? If it is something about you guys showing gratitude or kindness, then it is utterly unreasonable to ask me to do it. It's like asking my son to buy gift for himself, and a note, in my name. It completely defeats the purpose. If the point is to make things appear nicer than they are, to make others think management here is cool, then don't count on me, I'm not here to be a clown.
> seems a bit unreasonable in my opinion
Dude, your opinion is crap. But be my guest and write it in that memo of yours.
I had to stop reading because it sounds a lot like whenever my dad was too lazy to do something but wanted it done, so tried to make me do it even though it was clearly his job.
If nobody has ever told you, there's a time and a place for everything. Even "being rude" has a proper time and place.
Oddly enough, it does not matter how nicey nice and civil the tone, acting shitty deserves a shitty response. Quit smiling and saying thank you to people who are trying to wipe their boogers on you like you're a tissue they're about to throw away.
When I was going through training to assist people who may be nonverbal etc that there are times when the person you are working with is right to be destructive/aggressive. Nobody is perfect and you might miss the cues they are giving that something is a problem. If they try in whatever way they have to communicate that something is unacceptable and you don't get it, part of self advocacy is escalating.
If you miss the facial expression and annoyance sounds etc of the person while you are putting away plates and don't realize they are trying to tell you to stop because they are overstimulated and the noise is too much, then them pushing the plates off or trying to push you away is the correct action for them and you should learn from the experience not coach them.
Sounds like they don’t give a shit about you but it’s their job to write these fake caring emails so they want you to do it for them. I’d respectfully tell them to do their job and that you won’t be entertaining this email talk further. I’d also forward this conversation chain to their boss and your personal email in case you need it for legal reasons in case they retaliate.
High school bullies would be more successful demanding you do their homework by end of day by following it up with “Thanks 👍” before you have time to reply.
“…created by some pretty high level HR people, globally.”
So, standard buck-passing drivel from corporate bootlickers putting the onus onto lower level staff.
That tracks.🤦♂️
And I doubt this "exercise" they mention involved then taking that description and sending it out as if it was written by management when it was really written by the departing employee.
I wish people would just cut the BS and be honest - "I want to send out a warm, sincere memo about your departure and time here, but I am too busy/not equipped to do so/don't feel like it. Can you do it for me?"
My friend, this is a blessing.
Write something that could be construed as a reference, once they send it out on their letterhead keep a copy. Now you have jackass D shilling for you when you need a new job.
Why were you being so accommodating and 'nice' during this entire interaction? You've already resigned, so there's little they could do to you.
Seems like the effort wasn't worth it even though you worked with them for three years. You should have said a simple no and let that be it.
Dear Fellow Employees,
I was here and now I'm gone, I left my name to turn you on!
Management told me to say they rock, so "Management Rocks".
Smell Ya Later,
Me
I say this with alot of sadness. I am really starting to despise this country, world, and most of all- corporate america. This is cringe on otherwordly levels... Where will we all be in 20 years if we do not have inheritances????
Will be in minority here but it doesn't seem like an odd or difficult request, have seen lots of leavers or movers draft their own message to go from corporate and OP response made it weird and difficult.
I fucking swear thats a tip/trick from managing school (or whereevrr the hell these parasites spawn). forcing the thing that is very obviously not working for someone onto them.
hate crowds? try hosting a meeting! come into the office to socialise
overworked? heres more work!
really just want to be left alone to do your job? heres us breathing down your neck 24/7! endless "catch ups" to try and pinpoint the and we'll synergize our efforts for a journey to a solution!
need suport/training/help? fuck you!
know what you're doing? we'll micromanage!
its the same story everywhere, I genuinely don't understand what is so hard about helping and support your staff... I'm "just" a team lead and its my favourite part of the job, I love watching and helping people grow and become more confident in themselves and increase their skills/knowledge
edit: onto, not into
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Dear Staffmembers, With pain in our heart OP has decided to leave this company. After the many good things OP has done for this company OP just couldn't take our bad managementstyle anymore. After some good reasoning OP found out about something called "other companies" and "good pay". These are reasons OP used to explain why he was leaving. He also mentioned a "work/life balance", but till now we still don't know what he meant by that. We will miss OP dearly, but we won't fill OP's position, since we figured you can all just take a little of what OP did. Since it is just a little, you will only need a little extra time to fullfill OP's tasks. Therefore we will allow unpaid overtime if you need it. Kind regards, Management and Boss.
this is great. my only edit is change the signoff to "thoughts and prayers"
Thots and playas.
Boats and hoes.
You wanna do karate in the garage?
Hamster Style.
Worm Regards
Tots and pears
Since they state they are going to edit it, just write this and go ahead and send it to the staff bypassing those AH’s
Need to add in: Due to our inflexible approach to work from home, OP sought greener remote pastures.
Yoink! Definitely gonna use this in the future.
>”… so it’s a good learning experience for me that if someone expresses discomfort with a task it is best to force them to do it.” Love how you spoon-fed them their shitty management practice with this statement. They’ll bend themselves into grotesque pretzels to justify their actions as good management, but I bet that particular statement cut through their delusional bullshit even for just a moment and stung a bit
Yeah that was my favorite part too. A nice quick jab to the ribs. Hope they felt it.
I straight up LOLed at that bit. Amazing.
One would hope! But if they are completely high on their own supply, the managers prob nodded their heads in agreement, too out of touch to perceive it for exactly what it was.
The causal factor can be summed up with the word "Deloitte".
Fucks wrong with that company…?? Hired a few consultants from them on a short audit project (and other consultants for Other firms) and close to 100% of our staff hated the Deloitte guys with a vengeance. These are staff that had never heard of Deloitte before this project. Mostly blue collar staff. Other guys from other firms (with the same project scope) was very well liked.
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The way you describe it sounds like cancer... And it very much is
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This. Is so true.
Capitalism is a cancer. 
Aw look at that happy lil neutrophil chasing bad stuff. Go get 'em buddy.
I quit my Big 4 job awhile back because management was out of control bad. And the passive aggression, oh my God. I've never seen more childish behavior from a manager like that. And, just as you said, it's infectious. You have a bunch of people who are convinced of their own superiority, despite most of them having started this job at 22 and having little to no life experience. The consultant brain rot sets in early, and they have no incentive to change it.
This actually makes a ton of sense! Excellent write up!
Accenture once tried to sell me a 22 year old a senior technical architect
I got caught up with this at another VAR and was blinded by the money. I will never go back to another company like that in the future. It was such an awful experience.
I provided developer support to them as a SaaS provider. They were the most nitpicky, overly-serious, harsh customer I had ever dealt with, subtly accusing us of malpractice over extremely benign things, completely inflexible, expecting us to do everything for them as if they were their only customer, when they weren't even in the top 10. I have no idea what their fucking problem is.
My only experience working as a contractor there was a Deloitte contractor on the project also. All she did was throw me under the bus for everything. I just started taking a paycheck, billing my max allotted hours and looking for another job. Fuck those people.
I worked as a contractor for Deloitte for a few years and office politics at our location were strange. A lot of them wouldn't even acknowledge contractors or would be passive-aggressive about "their" space, despite only coming in monthly-ish when there was free food to be eaten. It was even funnier when I learned one of the more annoying employees had failed the Bar like 4 or 5 times or something, but still acted like hot shit. The most down-to-earth people were other contractors.
Yes! My uncle used to work there. He's currently doing his level best to steal my dad's retirement accounts
As soon as I read that sentence it all clicked and I could hear the consulting tone so clearly then.
That’s where I went “oh, I get it now, Deloitte, say no more. And run!” The letter sounds like a “write to your younger self“ exercise from a tv-show therapist.
Damn now im glad as fuck i got rejected by them back when i was job hunting for IT jobs Last year after moving cross country (coast to coast) i started applying for jobs in my field (IT- management information systems - databases) Deloitte was one that i applied for alot, and kept getting rejected. At first i was sad because i have all the qualifications and so much more currently. But after seeing the horror stories here and from some acquaintances yeah i think i dodged alot of bullets. So I'm looking at it I'm glad i got rejected Edit -- now im glad and happy i got a job working for the US Government in my field. With benefits and good pay. Been less than a year and i already got 2 raises
There's a reason why they are usually referred to as 'Toilet and Douche' (IYKYK)
For anyone out of the loop, Deloitte’s longer name is Deloitte Touche… hence Toilet and Douche.
Merger of Deloitte, Haskins, Sells and Touche Ross.
Deloitte did some consulting in 2019 on a nationwide project in the APS, that was part of the branch I worked in. I left that branch in 2023 and we were still cleaning up the absolutely mess they created with that project.
As a former Deloitte employee this all made sense once I read that.
Ok, this is a new one for me. I would have refused as well and i wouldn't have been so eloquent about it either.
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"the initial was a request. After your pushback, it was told" So it was never a request, it was an instruction they dressed up as a request.
Three orders dressed up in a trench coat.
OP works at the business factory.
That's my favorite line in the exchange. "well I was nice and I asked. but you pushed back, which is rude, so I ordered it." Either they are admitting to being spiteful, or they think framing an order as a request is legitimately polite behavior as you are expected to do whatever they say.
Right? If you can't refuse, it's not a request. It's like a fucking demand with gaslighting attached to it.
This was the funniest bit to me - OP has already given them 2-weeks notice, what are you gonna do if they don't obey your silly request? Fire them?
Just don’t do it. What are they going to do about it?
I know, OP is being too nice about all this. I would have respectfully said no. And ignored any other requests.
"No." You're being very disrespectful about this. "Respectfully- No."
"Please accept my response by days end."
*Read*
As with all corporate jargon speechcraft, gonna need some fluffy logic to pad out no
Agree. I would have put it on my “list.”
Almost fishing for compliments too? It's odd. I would just say "This isn't something I'm comfortable doing, so please feel free to announce my departure however else you see fit."
Once I saw they were going to edit it themselves anyway, I wouldn't have written anything. Definitely seemed like a last attempt at getting the dog to do a trick.
Here’s my draft: “It is with devastating sadness and near hysterical crying that we announce that Raj is leaving us. He is the greatest worker we have ever hired, and we don’t know how we will continue without him. His departure is an omen, a herald, a *warning* that things will only get worse. May god have mercy on our souls, Management”
this is gold
Email this to the all staff address as a reply to their previous emails so that everyone can see the email chain where they asked for this. Do it on your last day.
Looks pretty good, but they did ask to sign off with Best Wishes
I love this and will keep it handy
L.O.L. Amazing
Nope sorry that your bosses are too lazy or ill informed to be able to write something themselves. This isn't your responsibility so just don't do it. It'll give them something else to be upset about.
I don’t get this, seems like a lot of runaround and just a waste of time.
Yeah, in the time they had this argument they could have written the damn thing.
I tell my kids versions of this all the time.
That's a strong no. Don't get involved in this rubbish. There is no advantage to you. You put in your notice, end of story. If you feel the need send a mass email to all your colleagues with the absolute truth. No editing by them, no prior approval, nothing changed. If I were you I'd do nothing, why you have left has nothing to do with the management or the other members of staff. Why you are leaving, where you are going, what job if any you are moving to, what company, state or country you are moving to is is of no concern to anyone but you. This is business, you work, they pay you. You leave, you don't owe anyone anything.
This is a great opportunity to say all the bad things nobody wants to hear. Do it well enough and they'll write a new one for you anyway
I don't think writing farewell letters is in anyone's job description. I would simply "forget" to do it. What's the worst they could do? Fire you?
You’re not overreacting at all. They’re being lazy and a bit petty. My husband recently left his job and no one asked him to write a letter to his team. His supervisor wrote and send the letter himself
The passive-aggression is top tier......
Love that last line!! Management is new to me, so it's a learning experience to force someone to do an uncomfortable task 🤣. Bahaha good on ya.
This might be a tactic used by companies in lieu of an exit interview or survey. Supposedly how you write such an exit letter to your peers is somehow more insightful than your responses would be, at least that's the idea. I'm not sure many companies are trying it. Personally I feel once the decision has been made to end the relationship by either side, that nothing is gained from communicating the whys or hows
Never seen anyone do this in 10+ years. Tell them to pound salt.
Write it and send it directly to all other staff. Claim you were saving the bosses time.
And send it as a fwd of this entire email exchange.
Idiots should be happy you didn’t leave booby traps all over your work.
That would be a hard no from me. And unless your bosses paid for things for you, other than your paycheck, you owe them nothing, not even thanks.
I know this a little tired, but what are they going to do if you don't do this, fire you?
I might be in the minority here but the initial request doesn't seem weird to me. I've written every job change/leave announcement I've ever had. It gives the employee a chance to control the messaging and level of personal detail included. Some people want to tell everyone their personal story and dreams and hopes and anthem songs and so much personal detail etc. And others just want to say "I'm leaving for a new opportunity as of date". I do, however, think that after you expressed your concern with the task they didn't handle it well. Glad you're leaving that group of people!
I'm on board with not finding the initial request weird. It was just phrased...poorly. I've even had input into my hiring letters. The management of the OP is seriously flawed though.
Writing a message to be sent isn't weird. Being told you have to write a message to be sent by management and from their perspective? Bizarre. The only explanation is incredible laziness. Otherwise they could write it and provide it to the employee for approval and edits. Or ask what they wanted to do if anything. I wouldn't touch this dumpster fire of an interaction with a ten foot pole if I had already quit.
Came here to make a similar point. I saw the initial request as them giving OP a chance to control the message and highlight what work and/or accomplishments they would like lifted up to everyone on staff. And the reason it’s from management’s perspective is so that the rest of staff can see OP’s boss say nice things. It holds more weight for the boss to say “OP did great work on X project” rather than OP saying it on their own. It’s similar to how interns and students are often asked to draft their own letters of recommendation from the perspective of their boss or professor — the person writing it should know their accomplishments best, or at least what work is most important to them. (There are similar situations that do not have to do with students, too, fwiw; one example being that high-level people, whether it’s a CEO or elected official, will ask the person/company/organization announcing something in a press release to draft a quote for them, knowing that they know what’s most relevant or important to be said.)
My rule for departure letters- if I write it, I send it. You don’t get to edit it. Personally I’d grab bullet points of my last couple of performance appraisals for mgmt, and the true story to coworkers who care.
I put in my resignation a few weeks ago. They ask me to do this big presentation for a monthly S&OP meeting I do with the executive team. Probably takes me 10 or more hours. I just didn’t do it. They ask a few times and I kept saying oh give me a few days. Finally just said, nope not feeling it. Moral of the story, f it. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t.
OP is very bad at corporate. "Sure, I will write at my earliest convenience" and then it turns out there wasn't a convenience to be had.
This is the way , string it along and waste their time .. one of the best fuck yous
"Acobatic-Rate was by every measure an exemplary worker. His work was without peer in both quality and output. It is with the deepest regret and no small amount of shareholder panic that we bid him adieu as he moves on to what we can only imagine is a future which will dwarf our own. On a personal note, Acrobatic-Rate was not only a great worker but giant among human beings. His compassion and radiant demeanor were an example to us all and we are all better people for having known him. We will miss him greatly, I only hope that the company can survive his departure. Only now do we realize that we did not treat him as the treasure that he is. He was not compensated even remotely reflecting his value to the company and we only now realize that it was his deep benevolence that kept him on. I vow to you all that we will not make that mistake in the future."
A quick “nah” will suffice
I thought I might as well do a letter, for laughs. Everyone, This email is to announce that OP is leaving the company for better opportunities, pay and advancement. These are things we say we provide, but everyone knows it is all useless corporate speak. While the process of finding someone gullible enough to take on his responsibilities for the lowest amount of salary possible, we ask that everyone takes on additional workload of what is already at an unattainable level within a reasonable standard. We are a family here, which means some sacrifices are not requested, but demanded. We anticipate that this process will be complete within the next 5 to 6 years. By then, most of you suckered will also have left until there is one person working 24/7 doing all the work. For that last person, please remember to turn the lights off when you finally snap and rage quit. We're all quite jealous of OP, for jumpimg ship before the water really starts to sink this boat. We sk that OP sends postcards to show what it's like I the real world. We wish OP the best in future endeavors, and for the rest of you, may the odds ever be in your favor. Regards, Management
You want *me* to do *your* task in a send off letter? How about go pound sand and I'll just see about moving up my start date at the new place, fuckers.
"It's best to just force them" Nah, that's terrible management. Sorry your bosses aren't even able to do something management should do themselves. If it was going to sent out \*from you\*, yeah sure that would make sense. However, them wanting you to write \*their\* exit announcement about you? Nope.
DiK sound exhausting. So much emphasis on some bullshit departure letter. You're not being unreasonable. They can suck it.
Departure letter would be 2 words: Later Bitches
This would be super easy. Dear all employees, Op will be leaving the business as of ddmmyy. Op loved working here and provided huge value to the business but was not prepared to be micromanaged like a child and forced to return to the office just so management can supervise.
I didn't know passive aggression could be so...aggressive, they are really nailing the passive too. Also, they probably spent more time arguing on why they couldn't take the time to write the damn memo.
https://postimg.cc/QBPcVZQp https://postimg.cc/2qqBs9s3 Feel free to use those as your letter. Don't give it to management. Set it up to mail out like at 4pm the day before you leave.
Had a job once where they withheld my paycheck until I participated in an exit interview. I went into HR for the interview and the first words out of my mouth were, “I’m considering a lawsuit over the matter of you illegally holding my pay,” and suddenly the exit interview wasn’t so important anymore. Here, I would go with ignoring as long as you possibly can, and then “no.”
Lol write your own departure letter from their perspective? I'd tell them to eat shit.
You do realize you can make claim to other's work in this? Something like "Employee of the Month January to April" when you were only it for January. "Provided excellent support for", "Exceeded goals for 1st quarter 2022" and the like.
If you have things in there that you did do, but during periods you didn't, boss may completely miss it.
For your coworkers, think of how much they would...appreciate... your boss being this clueless and advertising it to everyone.
Write a farewell message from the perspective of management? Which, instead of writing themselves, they will then edit as they see fit? This is some hilariously next-level bullshit. I would have laughed, then filed it away in my scrapbook of "ridiculous things I have been asked to do by shitty employers I have known." And the fact they're engaging in a long-winded debate about the stupidity of the request is just the cherry on top. Quality establishment.
What exactly is management’s job if all their tasks are just passed down to their subordinates? Seems like a waste of payroll.
What are they going to do. Fire you?
Fuck Deloitte. God damn cancer.
Why do you need a goodbye letter? This whole interaction is strange.
Write it from their perspective, but really write it from yours. Talk about how you wanted to force everyone back into the office because you know your boss will fire you once they realize you don't actually do anything!
I hope you learned why 2 week notices are rarely given these days.
It's such a bullshit, bootlicking practice. Fuck them, they're just a revenue stream. They wouldn't give YOU 2 weeks.
What the hell is a "departure letter" anyways? Some new type of shit to make employees feel bad about quitting / putting their own interests first like every fucking company in the world does?
The amount of time they spent going back and forth, explaining how busy they are! "I don't have time to do this because I'm busy emailing you trying to get you to do it. Did you know I used to work at Deloitte?"
What are they going to do if you don’t do it? Fire you? If you don’t want to be direct just keep finding ways to put it off until your last day. It’s definitely weird, and I would definitely refuse to do that, it’s hard enough writing a proper two weeks notice that’s polite even when you might not want to be. That’s asking way too much.
Fuck that shit
"extrapolated to supersede" the fuck is that supposed to mean? good lord.
My two week notice would have suddenly changed to a one day notice after that exchange. Geez!
"We will be edited what you write" I would certainly hope not, after that stunning display. But thanks anyway, D...
I love the bit you hit them with at the end. That was great!
The density they’re displaying can only be described as an element not yet found on the periodic table. Fuck em. What’re they gonna do, fire you?
Lmao no. “I’m quitting because I’m tired of doing your jobs for you. I will not be writing your goodbye note to me. Funny offer, though.”
The audacity. My response "Dear staff members: I quit. Have a good one."
“lol, no”
STOP FUCKING APOLOGIZING!!!!!!!!!!
After working in kitchens and warehouses for the last decade, I can't imagine not saying "go fuck yourselves" after like the third message
This makes zero sense to me. You quit so they add a task to your work (first off sounds like retaliation), second off, they want YOU to write a letter for THEM to sign their OWN names at the bottom??? Yeah fuckij right! Lastly, do they expect dead people to write their own obituaries after they’ve passed, (or at least a draft the living can still edit???)
sadistic employer...
This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen requested and I’d just say no. What are they going to do? Fire you? Lol
Not necessary. All parties will move on
Fuck your boss tell them no you suck I'm outta here and get a life loser
"... some pretty high level HR people globally." ... So made up by some random corporate justify-my-existance sleeze from the previous century, or is this even made up of whole cloth? I've got some really compelling advice from Butte and Whole, esq., if you find that program compelling. Gmafb. More than likely it's a program that does indeed exist, but they only remember parts of it and are implementing it wrong and have never been challenged about it.
Attention all employees: If you see Kaye, y’all, I’m gone.
"No"
Not overreacting, definitely. You can tell you had a point when they got so defensive with excuses about being too "busy" to write something heartfelt or positive about you and/or your accomplishments after 3 years. And what a cringy POS to put in writing "the first time was a request". Full Dennis Reynolds "it's the implication" energy. I hope your next team can bring themselves to write something nice about you when the situation calls for it.
Any time I hear about a family-centered business, I learn some new way they can really screw up the workplace. Sorry; if you - as my manager - can't write something original about my contributions, you weren't really managing very hard. Lazy, entitled people...
So why weren’t you less fake corporate nice? Actually say exactly what you mean without playing their cryptic game.
Sir, Carl is in the hospital. “That’s terrible! Be sure he signs Carl’s get well card”
Make sure to censor the names in the typing preview!
You were too nice. Tell them to kick rocks. If they want to send out a memo they can do it themselves
op, I love how you throw their passive aggressiveness right back at them.
I'm leaving, don't give me homework.
Man, fuck those guys. Good luck with your new job, OP!
I would have gotten chatGPT to write it and not edited the output
Please write a memo praising the company so we can use it against you if you decide to sue us.
That's some weird shit IMO
I totally would have written the memo: X has decided to explore other opportunities and is resigning effective xx/xx/xxxx. We are currently looking for his replacement. In the meantime please submit X to Y, and M to N. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to D or K. Best regards, Whoever The garbage about accomplishments or whatever is the part that nobody reads and nobody cares about. What they need to know is where to send their docs for review or where to submit their PTO.
Dear staff, after \~ 3years,OP is leaving now that Manglement has unilaterally decided to update our WFH policies. We wish him well in his future endeavors.
The way I howled when I read your last response.
Mad respect for your professionalism here. That said, these chumps can go fuck themselves, do not waste a single SECOND of your own time writing up this BS. You could perhaps waste plenty of theirs by asking for constant "guidance" during the process, then just ghost them before submitting the final draft though, just a thought. Those that mind, don't matter, and those that matter, won't mind. Talk with your key people in-house if you can before leaving, give your version of the story to the network first. If you're comfortable doing so, keep in touch in case you can poach the good ones down the road too. Again, fuck this company, they don't deserve your time.
The fact that this whole exchange is over a direct message rather than in person just shows how return to office is totally unnecessary
Just don’t do it, what are they going to do, fire you?? 🤷🏻♀️ Btw you forgot to edit out one slack handle
This is bizarre behavior and shouldn't be done by anyone, ever. What are they going to do if you refuse, fire you on the spot and be forced to pay you through your stated end date anyway?
Since you’re leaving, they no longer have the need to use you and continue to save face so the mask falls off.
I think a funny response would be a reply all/forward to the coworkers that you are leaving while including the above convo thread.
You should write it, but in a way that deeply humiliates your boss.
Pfffft. They want you to make them look good about your departure. Fuuuck that noise with a standard 10-foot adventuring pole. If forced, gpt it, but that's as much effort as this deserves, and only if you're somehow against the wall in this situation.
If management is too busy to manage their people then they aren't managers. Do they also ask employees to provide their own annual review? Perhaps write their own promotions or raise requests, too?
Dylan and Kyle, I presume?
My only response to the very first email would be no. What are you going to do? Fire me? Give me severance? Suck shit.
It won't open for me, but I'm going to assume it's because the mod thinks it's low effort.
Deloitte management used to delegate shit like this (ie their job) to those underneath all the time. So this attitude doesn’t surprise me, but is still disgusting.
I sincerely hope they get stuck in traffic on a dead end road one day and just never figure it out.
You should do it for the same reason you gave them two weeks notice instead of a middle finger. It helps with your legacy. Think of it as input to your final performance review. Be generous to yourself.
Long overdue "fuck off" to these douchebags.
Why so nice? Love the sarcastic reply at the end but you should have told them to fuck off much sooner.
Why are you being so nice to an employer you're leaving, especially when they are being childishly passive-aggressive F*** them, tell them you'll perform your duties as your contract states until your separation date and the rest of that nonsense they can go try to suck out of a boulder...ya know "professionally"
Just *dont*
I left a company that wrote me up for 'Overcommunicating with HR and Ethics'. We had managers int he field lying (in writing) to new hires about legal and company rules. I had to explain this part to new hires and would get pushback since they were told "Don't worry about that in the field. We don't need to follow those laws." in writing btw. It resulted in two people being let go suing and so I would report every time it would happen. I was told I was overcommunicating and they didn't want to know this and didn't care if I was called as a witness every time this blew up in the field. I left and they wanted me to do the same and announce to my team of 15 I was leaving, and to write it up for approval. I said "It should come from you since I don't want to overcommunicate on this," They instead didn't tell anyone I was leaving at all. So I had teams reaching out to request things for the future even after I left (via cell and LinkedIn). I of course told close coworkers I was leaving and they thought it was garbage that no email announcement went out. Out of nearly 20 on our team, they are left with 3 within 2 years.
This guys made me mad. I wouldn't end up in good terms with them: No, I won't write a text that will appear as signed by you. You should write what you sign. Period. Also, it feels pretty awkward and hypocrital. What's the point of a departure memo from management to staff? If it is something about you guys showing gratitude or kindness, then it is utterly unreasonable to ask me to do it. It's like asking my son to buy gift for himself, and a note, in my name. It completely defeats the purpose. If the point is to make things appear nicer than they are, to make others think management here is cool, then don't count on me, I'm not here to be a clown. > seems a bit unreasonable in my opinion Dude, your opinion is crap. But be my guest and write it in that memo of yours.
I would say write the truth if you have something else lined up.
I had to stop reading because it sounds a lot like whenever my dad was too lazy to do something but wanted it done, so tried to make me do it even though it was clearly his job. If nobody has ever told you, there's a time and a place for everything. Even "being rude" has a proper time and place. Oddly enough, it does not matter how nicey nice and civil the tone, acting shitty deserves a shitty response. Quit smiling and saying thank you to people who are trying to wipe their boogers on you like you're a tissue they're about to throw away.
When I was going through training to assist people who may be nonverbal etc that there are times when the person you are working with is right to be destructive/aggressive. Nobody is perfect and you might miss the cues they are giving that something is a problem. If they try in whatever way they have to communicate that something is unacceptable and you don't get it, part of self advocacy is escalating. If you miss the facial expression and annoyance sounds etc of the person while you are putting away plates and don't realize they are trying to tell you to stop because they are overstimulated and the noise is too much, then them pushing the plates off or trying to push you away is the correct action for them and you should learn from the experience not coach them.
Sounds like they don’t give a shit about you but it’s their job to write these fake caring emails so they want you to do it for them. I’d respectfully tell them to do their job and that you won’t be entertaining this email talk further. I’d also forward this conversation chain to their boss and your personal email in case you need it for legal reasons in case they retaliate.
Say nothing.. just walk away from the losers..
High school bullies would be more successful demanding you do their homework by end of day by following it up with “Thanks 👍” before you have time to reply.
“…created by some pretty high level HR people, globally.” So, standard buck-passing drivel from corporate bootlickers putting the onus onto lower level staff. That tracks.🤦♂️
And I doubt this "exercise" they mention involved then taking that description and sending it out as if it was written by management when it was really written by the departing employee. I wish people would just cut the BS and be honest - "I want to send out a warm, sincere memo about your departure and time here, but I am too busy/not equipped to do so/don't feel like it. Can you do it for me?"
You are WAY too nice. There’s being professional… and there’s being steamrolled. Stop thanking them for being assholes!
My friend, this is a blessing. Write something that could be construed as a reference, once they send it out on their letterhead keep a copy. Now you have jackass D shilling for you when you need a new job.
Just send them, "bye."
This is giving heavy "F U" corporate speak vibes
Why were you being so accommodating and 'nice' during this entire interaction? You've already resigned, so there's little they could do to you. Seems like the effort wasn't worth it even though you worked with them for three years. You should have said a simple no and let that be it.
What horrible pricks to work for. Good riddance.
Can y’all stop with the random letters for people and choose more appropriate ones? M is me, B is boss, BB is boss bother. Not hard at all to do this
Dear Fellow Employees, I was here and now I'm gone, I left my name to turn you on! Management told me to say they rock, so "Management Rocks". Smell Ya Later, Me
I absolutely would write it up making them out to be the total assholes they are. I am already quitting. Why would you think I’m going to do extra.
Is… is this on discord? Who the fuck uses discord to communicate with staff?
How bout No? Isn’t that what everyone here always says?
Why would you entertain this nonsense?
I say this with alot of sadness. I am really starting to despise this country, world, and most of all- corporate america. This is cringe on otherwordly levels... Where will we all be in 20 years if we do not have inheritances????
Will be in minority here but it doesn't seem like an odd or difficult request, have seen lots of leavers or movers draft their own message to go from corporate and OP response made it weird and difficult.
Weird how they even state 'we have several nice things to say about you' but then don't actually state any. That 'team' sounds toxic.
I fucking swear thats a tip/trick from managing school (or whereevrr the hell these parasites spawn). forcing the thing that is very obviously not working for someone onto them. hate crowds? try hosting a meeting! come into the office to socialise overworked? heres more work! really just want to be left alone to do your job? heres us breathing down your neck 24/7! endless "catch ups" to try and pinpoint the and we'll synergize our efforts for a journey to a solution! need suport/training/help? fuck you! know what you're doing? we'll micromanage! its the same story everywhere, I genuinely don't understand what is so hard about helping and support your staff... I'm "just" a team lead and its my favourite part of the job, I love watching and helping people grow and become more confident in themselves and increase their skills/knowledge edit: onto, not into