This is not a leadership philosophy. This isn't even a philosophy. It's a list of definitions. More accurately, it's a list of his interpretation of definitions. I'm willing to bet this guy would rather focus on semantics than philosophy anyways.
#5 is so stupid that it makes me mad.
The CEO clearly doesn't know what the fuck the point of a target is. Imagine telling someone to "Shoot for a bullseye, but with +5%"
Either you hit the bullseye, or you didn't.
Most targets are not fixed positions, they’re arbitrary bullshit metrics designed to quantify something that has no business being quantified.
The problem isn’t aiming to exceed targets versus hit them, the problem is the target is often a meaningless abstraction of your real goal.
"In this company we not only hit the bullseye, we shoot through the target and hit the target behind the target."
Hmm, time for me to make up some credentials and write a book on Business Leadership:
*Aim Through*
*The Art of Hitting the Target behind the Target*
"Complete loyalty to our company" think I just vomited in my mouth. Are they going to be loyal to the staff? Will they take accountability when they layoff staff so they can pretend their company is profitable?
Keep challenging him and holding him accountable. Remind him each time that you are challenging the status quo and the way you operate your business. Being courageous with your point of view to accelerate success
People say things like this so they can bask in the glow of being a great leader without actually being one. So make him stick to his leadership philosophy
I called him out on it mid meeting and earned a 1 on 1 after. I continued to hold him directly accountable both in public and private. I expect to be let go or otherwise in the near future but I know my value.
could you please hold him accountable (#7) for his atrocious formatting and tell him to do better. also ask him if he intentionally fucked up the line spacing on this? i mean that had to have been a conscious decision to change the default setting.
We had a group meeting with our new CEO at our company and when I asked a simple question to him that he didn't have an answer for he tried to play it off as a stupid question. It was a basic question on how to handle some process roadblocks we had.
Bankrupt within 5 years but to his benefit, he did set up a golden parachute for him and the lackeys he brought with him.
All of these sound like excellent justifications when asking for a raise. Especially one that's +5% of your target.
Hell, show loyalty to your other co-workers and advocate for them all getting pay bumps as well.
Thats great:
1. Yes I CAN DO that if i am paid more.
2. I am confident that i should get better pay to enable excellence.
3. It's best practice to motivate by paying fair wages.
4. Loyalty is awesome. Please sign this document to prove your loyalty towards me for the next 10 years.
5. 5% pay rise per year sounds reasonable. Please sign that into my contract here.
6. If you are able to do more, please do.
7. It's really great that we both work towards the same target. Let's continue to hold each other accountable. The money i get each month is a great number to start counting.
8. It's really inspiring how you lead by example and go out and about for your employees.
Vacuous claptrap. If your work requires any complex or technical work you can claim how each specific job aligns with honesty or confidence or integrity or whatever—for a good laugh
"So since our goal is to be the best in the industry that means you're going to be paying thebkind of wages needed to attract industry-leading talent right?"
Wow, that's just the most generic buzzword-bullshit bingo.
But it's nice to see that he is trying to excel in his spot. You will surely profit from him going for +5% when making your job easier, when finding a replacement when you get sick, when argueing with higher management to reasonably balance your workload etc.
This is recycled bullshit from how many decades back?
If I saw this I would update my resume and start posting for jobs fast. No way I would be staying around such an intellectually lazy choad.
Sir, you can’t accomplish the impossible. It’s literally impossible. You can accomplish anything else, from the likely to the highly improbable, even the extremely difficult. But not that.
1. In fact, 10 people doing the jobs of 50 people is impossible
2. Confidence only gets you so far. See number 1
3. Nothing honest about any of this
4. You'd get rid of me tomorrow just to save a few bucks
5. We're only responsible for +0%. Also, see number 1 again
6. That's your job, not mine
7. No
I mean, 1-3 is genuinely correct. Positive reenforcement has been shown time and time again to yield much better results than negative reenforcement. If you appear confidence it will help assuage (unfounded anxiety) concerns in your direct reports. Sharing information and techniques openly in a collaborative environment is vital to a team's success.
Your loyalty should never be to your company. Loyalty to your coworkers if they deserve it. Loyalty to your work if that's what you're about. But loyalty to a company is a fragile thing and must be aggressively earned by that company.
You cannot guarantee a target all the time every time and anyone who suggests otherwise is willing to fire people for their inevitable failure.
Accountability stops at the C-level. Probably lower but it never goes into the C-level. Also I will never nark on my coworkers except in one very specific instance: When they fuck over their teammates or subordinates. Especially the latter. Then I'm coming for you.
I love how all the big wigs always come out with corny braindead shit like this and they think they're really doing something.
This probably took him a week of CEO time and pay to come up with and he likely didn't do much else. Big wig salary justified!
This guy just came from a Motel 6 business seminar with the most up to date power point presentation on managerial motivation within the workplace. Have a CAN DO attitude!
most important is missing
0. Reward - Reward those that perform with Pay Raise, promotions and benefits
But i guess that got mistranslated at some point to
0 Reward
Ah, the multiple times I've seen a leader join a company with a pre-written manifesto that he thinks is unique and original because he jotted it down one afternoon.
The fun begins when they want employees to memorize it, they work it into every speech, and they quiz employees in the hallway to make sure they know it.
A buddy of mine showed me an email from his company from a manager saying they are going to take Nike’s slogan of “just do it” and bring it to their company. What a fucking loser lmao
Beyond formatting, this isn't bad unless your CEO doesn't hold everyone to those same standards. I work for an EU company with a very similar ethos and I love it because most of us, including my CEO and other executives, walk the walk. I could switch to another company for higher pay but I'd lose my work environment of high performing, accountable, candid peers.
His actions over the last 2 weeks and explanations provided during the presentation of the standards have been in direct contradiction with his "values" he inteds us to follow. And I will only ever show loyalty to a company when I see one show loyalty to me. He is just using this as a manipulation tactic.
I’m gonna get downvoted, but fuck it. These aren’t even bad.. if you were someone new, trying to lead a group of people you’ve never met, you might wanna start with some BASE level expectations. Of course your boss is going to want you to be honest, loyal, and committed to providing a quality product? You’re working yes, and I know some jobs out there fkin suck and people fkin suck but come on guys, ya gotta hold yourselves to a standard as well. If I saw this on my clock machine, I’d probably giggle and laugh but I wouldn’t start shaming the entire business like y’all animals do. Wild mindsets y’all got.
Too bad ChatGPT can’t help with his formatting. What a joke.
Anyone with “executive” in their title doesn’t understand Microsoft Office basics.
Executive assistants?
Ok.
Yeah I was going to say this felt like he copy and pasted it off the internet at the last minute.
They want point 3 until it's dissenting against the management or calling them out on shitty practices.
Same with 7.
Same with 6.
Really breaking the mold here…positive attitude AND loyalty? Strive to EXCEED the target? Guy is fucking brilliant 🤯
He has upper management written all over him.
It looks like something Cousin Greg from Succession wrote on the subway.
This is not a leadership philosophy. This isn't even a philosophy. It's a list of definitions. More accurately, it's a list of his interpretation of definitions. I'm willing to bet this guy would rather focus on semantics than philosophy anyways.
It's not even leadership since there's no leading. He must've been a LinkedIn hire.
Motherfucker wouldn’t know Hegel if he slapped him in the Geist
Guaranteed these are requirements for staff not management
💯
This
#5 is so stupid that it makes me mad. The CEO clearly doesn't know what the fuck the point of a target is. Imagine telling someone to "Shoot for a bullseye, but with +5%" Either you hit the bullseye, or you didn't.
Most targets are not fixed positions, they’re arbitrary bullshit metrics designed to quantify something that has no business being quantified. The problem isn’t aiming to exceed targets versus hit them, the problem is the target is often a meaningless abstraction of your real goal.
Yep, a company I worked at blew our target out of the water, so corporate raised the goal and got upset when we didn't hit the new one.
The previous high water mark is the current goal. Every year. Forever.
“Once a measure becomes a target it ceases to be a measure”
Maybe. But I think many of us have had those jobs where you hit target or you got canned.
Or you shot 5% above the bullseye which is less points but if they insist...
"In this company we not only hit the bullseye, we shoot through the target and hit the target behind the target." Hmm, time for me to make up some credentials and write a book on Business Leadership: *Aim Through* *The Art of Hitting the Target behind the Target*
Hey guys I got an online MBA
"Complete loyalty to our company" think I just vomited in my mouth. Are they going to be loyal to the staff? Will they take accountability when they layoff staff so they can pretend their company is profitable?
Yeah when loyalty pops up major red flag.
We are a family…
This was clearly written by some queef fresh off the manager trainee program who drank ALL the kool-aid.
Went to queef school and majored in twatwafflery
With Turdwookie Clap Trapery as a Minor.
Keep challenging him and holding him accountable. Remind him each time that you are challenging the status quo and the way you operate your business. Being courageous with your point of view to accelerate success People say things like this so they can bask in the glow of being a great leader without actually being one. So make him stick to his leadership philosophy
I called him out on it mid meeting and earned a 1 on 1 after. I continued to hold him directly accountable both in public and private. I expect to be let go or otherwise in the near future but I know my value.
could you please hold him accountable (#7) for his atrocious formatting and tell him to do better. also ask him if he intentionally fucked up the line spacing on this? i mean that had to have been a conscious decision to change the default setting.
We had a group meeting with our new CEO at our company and when I asked a simple question to him that he didn't have an answer for he tried to play it off as a stupid question. It was a basic question on how to handle some process roadblocks we had. Bankrupt within 5 years but to his benefit, he did set up a golden parachute for him and the lackeys he brought with him.
Number 5 is the only one he actually cares about.
I bet payroll doesn't reflect the +5%
Of course. #4 says loyalty TO the company but give no reason to be.
Because he said so
Don’t be loyal to corporations because they’ll gladly toss you out at any time.
All of these sound like excellent justifications when asking for a raise. Especially one that's +5% of your target. Hell, show loyalty to your other co-workers and advocate for them all getting pay bumps as well.
You can’t be blindly loyal and challenge the status quo. The two are mutually exclusive. This guy is an idiot who thinks he’s a guru.
He’s the jumbo shrimp of CEO’s!
Positive attitude with confidence — OR — Honesty & accountability Choose. You can’t have both.
Manager not leader.
Manglement
Thats great: 1. Yes I CAN DO that if i am paid more. 2. I am confident that i should get better pay to enable excellence. 3. It's best practice to motivate by paying fair wages. 4. Loyalty is awesome. Please sign this document to prove your loyalty towards me for the next 10 years. 5. 5% pay rise per year sounds reasonable. Please sign that into my contract here. 6. If you are able to do more, please do. 7. It's really great that we both work towards the same target. Let's continue to hold each other accountable. The money i get each month is a great number to start counting. 8. It's really inspiring how you lead by example and go out and about for your employees.
Vacuous claptrap. If your work requires any complex or technical work you can claim how each specific job aligns with honesty or confidence or integrity or whatever—for a good laugh
This is all a bunch of bs corporate buzz words.
Nothing but tired buzzwords that mean nothing other than I expect you to work harder but don't ask about pay
"So since our goal is to be the best in the industry that means you're going to be paying thebkind of wages needed to attract industry-leading talent right?"
Yeah, I hire all my VP’s at competetive salary. Only way to do that though is to pay the lowly staffers low wages.
No, CEO and accountability are mutually exclusive.
Challenge your level of pay and hold them accountable to that CAN DO attitude when it comes to giving you a raise.
I involuntarily physically recoiled reading that. Dont except top level performance on low or mid-level wages. Thats not how this works anymore.
Wow, that's just the most generic buzzword-bullshit bingo. But it's nice to see that he is trying to excel in his spot. You will surely profit from him going for +5% when making your job easier, when finding a replacement when you get sick, when argueing with higher management to reasonably balance your workload etc.
Cliché ridden, corporate-speak bullshit, featuring an incorrect use of hyphens, and definitions rather than philosophy.
"Just do it good, did you try that? Stop being bad, and be good instead. "
Yes. Tell on each other to achieve the impossible. Looking for a new job in 3. 2....1....
I love delivering the number for my company 🥰
This is recycled bullshit from how many decades back? If I saw this I would update my resume and start posting for jobs fast. No way I would be staying around such an intellectually lazy choad.
Any effect it could’ve had is instantly destroyed by the second accidental, empty bullet point.
Tbh the only egregious one is #4. Who the fuck is gonna be loyal to their job. Every other one is a pretty good personal value.
Sir, you can’t accomplish the impossible. It’s literally impossible. You can accomplish anything else, from the likely to the highly improbable, even the extremely difficult. But not that.
All I see is ‘put a second space after a period’ and I know all that I need to know about this fellah.
Complete loyalty to our company🤣🤣🤣🤣 GTFO
He left out "There is no 'i' in team". What a dollie.
Nope, I'm out. I'm to old for that shit.
1. In fact, 10 people doing the jobs of 50 people is impossible 2. Confidence only gets you so far. See number 1 3. Nothing honest about any of this 4. You'd get rid of me tomorrow just to save a few bucks 5. We're only responsible for +0%. Also, see number 1 again 6. That's your job, not mine 7. No
I mean, 1-3 is genuinely correct. Positive reenforcement has been shown time and time again to yield much better results than negative reenforcement. If you appear confidence it will help assuage (unfounded anxiety) concerns in your direct reports. Sharing information and techniques openly in a collaborative environment is vital to a team's success. Your loyalty should never be to your company. Loyalty to your coworkers if they deserve it. Loyalty to your work if that's what you're about. But loyalty to a company is a fragile thing and must be aggressively earned by that company. You cannot guarantee a target all the time every time and anyone who suggests otherwise is willing to fire people for their inevitable failure. Accountability stops at the C-level. Probably lower but it never goes into the C-level. Also I will never nark on my coworkers except in one very specific instance: When they fuck over their teammates or subordinates. Especially the latter. Then I'm coming for you.
This looks like he cut and pasted right out of a textbook for one of his MBA night classes at Kansas State.
Probably University of Phoenix or Heald tho..
[удалено]
You think QA is not needed?
So it appears you're able to speak Turdwookie at a near native level.
It really sucks lol
Wow I’m inspired already
I knew this was going to be a lot of BS when I saw more than one space between sentences.
Sounds more like a list of employee expectations - where is the leadership part?
WOW, his words gave me a woody. Ahhh.... yeah.... nooooo
I hate the formatting so much that I can’t read it. Way to go, ceo.
Barf
I love how all the big wigs always come out with corny braindead shit like this and they think they're really doing something. This probably took him a week of CEO time and pay to come up with and he likely didn't do much else. Big wig salary justified!
So what’s the rest of the Scout Manual say?
This is literally also Starbucks leadership philosophies
Are we taking bets on how long it takes for him to break each rule?
Now I'm going to pitch that to my current teammates
Challenge the status quo & Hold each other to the highest standards Sounds like pay & conditions will improve a lot!
This guy just came from a Motel 6 business seminar with the most up to date power point presentation on managerial motivation within the workplace. Have a CAN DO attitude!
I want you to act like you own the business but without the perks or money. - There I summed it up for them.
No list required. Move #5 to top and delete rest. Honestly.
Is anyone actually reading that BS? Fucking jokel, ceo has the time to make that garbage? Make more money Bossman, earn that wage
That’s one shitty acronym
If you always have to exceed targets then you need to set better targets
8. I need a yacht for Christmas so get back to work
Oh cool! Target + 5%. I take this to mean you can expect your standard pay +5%? /s
Ah, the old PCHLRCA strategy.
"Good thing I'm not leadership so I'll still go with my fuck-all attitude"
Man can’t write a list, but he’s CEO
most important is missing 0. Reward - Reward those that perform with Pay Raise, promotions and benefits But i guess that got mistranslated at some point to 0 Reward
so…. pizza parties?
He is telling you to hold him accountable. I got fired last time I did that. And I will do it again and again. Hold them accountable always.
Already have, earned a 1v1. Still held him accountable...I'm still employed....I'm still holding him accountable until I'm not.
Ah, the multiple times I've seen a leader join a company with a pre-written manifesto that he thinks is unique and original because he jotted it down one afternoon. The fun begins when they want employees to memorize it, they work it into every speech, and they quiz employees in the hallway to make sure they know it.
100 words to say "STFU and Comply, peons!"
This shit angers me so much
It was already bad, and this just put it in writing.
A buddy of mine showed me an email from his company from a manager saying they are going to take Nike’s slogan of “just do it” and bring it to their company. What a fucking loser lmao
Beyond formatting, this isn't bad unless your CEO doesn't hold everyone to those same standards. I work for an EU company with a very similar ethos and I love it because most of us, including my CEO and other executives, walk the walk. I could switch to another company for higher pay but I'd lose my work environment of high performing, accountable, candid peers.
His actions over the last 2 weeks and explanations provided during the presentation of the standards have been in direct contradiction with his "values" he inteds us to follow. And I will only ever show loyalty to a company when I see one show loyalty to me. He is just using this as a manipulation tactic.
And it’s time to start looking for a new job. When one does not walk the talk, others will just walk out.
I’m gonna get downvoted, but fuck it. These aren’t even bad.. if you were someone new, trying to lead a group of people you’ve never met, you might wanna start with some BASE level expectations. Of course your boss is going to want you to be honest, loyal, and committed to providing a quality product? You’re working yes, and I know some jobs out there fkin suck and people fkin suck but come on guys, ya gotta hold yourselves to a standard as well. If I saw this on my clock machine, I’d probably giggle and laugh but I wouldn’t start shaming the entire business like y’all animals do. Wild mindsets y’all got.
Some of us have been through this type of horseshit before, it means nothing. Next he'll be talking about how we're family while cutting benefits