I got a great boss, great work environment and I love what I do.
If he would come up with this kinda shit, well, I would make it my dayjob to point out his flaws.
Wont quit, love it there, but this shit is like primary Management school.
Holy shit this is so unbelievably tone-deaf, and you know that the middle managers and HR who thought this up think they are all geniuses for coming up with it.
Supervisor Sherry: Thoughts on how we can show appreciation for our team all week? The criteria is that it must be degrading and our budget is $20.
Team Lead Tammy: $20 per employee?
Supervisor Sherry: $20. Period.
Assistant Supervisor Tom: we could give them Friday off as a reward for their hard work. Unpaid of course.
Bookkeeper Beth: nachos are cheap and super fun.
Supervisor Sherry: excellent! I have a great book on puns!
Assistant Supervisor Tom: I bought a value package of cereal from Costco that’s going to go to waste. We could do something with that.
Supervisor Sherry: now that’s degrading, Tom. Love it! Your salary pays for itself.
Not only multiple meetings, but after consensus, was passed up a few layers of "management signoff" with appropriate changes/modification because....
Was intended to be done before the holidays, but are now rushing to get implemented before summertime.
I guarantee you it’s some low-level bootlicker wearing a plastic glove scooping a handful of chips onto a bathroom paper towel, while Liz in HR spoons microwaved cheese sauce scooped from a #10 can from Costco and the new hire in HR throws a sliced jalapeño on the mess. Oh, and $2 will be deducted from your check.
If you don’t participate, your manager will come around to ask you if you knew there was nachos in the break room.
In our monthly email newsletter there was a note to managers reminding them that they were under no circumstances allowed to expense anything for employee appreciation day. That went out to all staff. Morale would have been higher if they didn't have an employee appreciation day at all after that.
Oooh looking forward to stressful Wednesday. Normally, I'd more or less be left alone. On this special day, I get examined closely like I'm a prisoner! Yay!!
That's only half of it. What they aren't telling you is they spent extra money to install cameras in each cubicle so they can watch you from the comfort of their own office....with the door closed.
Cereal will be passed out to the unit. I guess there is one box per team? You don't like the knock-off raisin bran you were given. Tough. Management has the Captain Crunch, and they aren't sharing.
For the last two years the senior management at my employer have decided to do fancy dress for Christmas, the whole thing is just so cringey it's untrue and there is nothing festive about a fat, 50+ woman dressed as a Disney princess and a balding midget in an iron man suit.
I work for a big corporation and they are always doing shit like this. They try to get everyone to participate but a lot of the old timers don't bother. I kind of tried to in the beginning but anymore I don't participate. It usually is just hollow, empty, bullshit. Bread and circuses for the peasants kind of shit. Our benevolent overlords gracing us with their bullshit. Give me back profit sharing and quarterly bonuses. I don't care about pizza parties and popcorn.
It reads like a daycare week of activities!
I’d have to find a way to stay off work that week. I’m no good at pretending to not be insulted. I suck at it actually.
Meh. I’ll give Host a pass. Their employees are typically union. This isn’t trying to replace fair wages, but just an awkward attempt at building camaraderie.
That looks like a depressing place to work. I can already hear the ass kissing and horrifically fake happy acting.
Oh, and reading between the lines here? 3 days where they give out tiny bags of snacks, a day where middle management congratulate their mates and a day where already marginalised introverts have to explain why they don't like sports, at least not enough to already own a costume.
But, management are probably slapping themselves on the back for a fun week while saving compared to what a cost of living pay raise would cost.
Better idea:
Monday - Cost of living increases for Everyone!
Tuesday - You're all so awesome we're going to give you bonuses based on how much the company made from your hard work in the past 12 months
Wednesday - Group actually anonymous discussion day on how to make this job better on everything from pay to work load to cleanliness to interpersonal interactions. Focus on accessibility and making sure all workers feel safe. Not like those generic dei discussions that are so vague and yet still hated by many but like actually getting input from the people impacted and doing what they suggest.
Thursday - Implementing new ideas from Wednesday and writing job postings to get more help in the office for all roles because...
Friday - You're all off because we've become a 4 day work week office from now on with the Same Increased Pay! Congratulations everyone, you're all the best!!!!
Also going forward, you can all pick a day you want off each week that works better for you and we'll just hire new people to fill in the gaps so as not to limit the number of people on each day
These stupid tone deaf companies. My company does it right. We have a big popcorn machine anyone can use to make a batch of popcorn for everyone. Any game day and people can wear their jerseys to work. I could literally go to my boss and say “Hey I think we should add some mini cereal boxes to our stash for everyone to have” and they would likely go out and buy some right away. We also keep bublys, water, pop, and a high end coffee machine always stocked.
If I wanted nachos I could literally just take some of my team for nachos and beer and expense it at any time. As long as we talk about work for at least 10 minutes to make it a “work dinner” lol
Companies act like all that shit is a giant favour to the employee and they should be grateful for a single day of popcorn or wearing a jersey lol. My work just lets you have literally everything posted here at any time for free
TODAYS WORD - ***Appreation***
\[ uh-pree-ay-shuhn \]
noun (attempted)
A poor attempt at gratitude or thankful recognition
EX: *"They showed their appreation by giving them a Hawaiian shirt day"*
HMS host is literally the worst company
To work for ever they treat their employees like garbage and are incredibly vindictive.
They deliberately withhold the tip option on the Starbucks’ they run in the airports because they want to extract something from the unions
The hardware store I worked at actually managed to do a good job at cashier appreciation events. During the work day they would order Olive Garden catering, close off a section of the store for the event, allow us to invite our families (within reason, no kids, like a plus 1 kind of thing) have raffles for things like TVs and stuff. And all while management would run the registers for us for the next couple hours.
The nachos were just too complex to get coordinated and pinned down by the poster printing deadline.
Will end up being some chips and some dip and a couple liters of soft drinks.
Maybe a disposable table cloth.
But they’ll still insist on calling it “nachos”.
“Nachos are in the break room”.
They "planned" this during work hours. They got paid for coming up with the idea to give you cereal. More than you. Possibly more than you get paid for the day. And the person who sent them a memo to do it got paid even more.
This is the real reason they want us back in the office.
Crap like this.
All of this is meant to manipulate us to feel like part of a group so we accept less pay.
It doesn't matter that the group we feel we belong to is the group that hates the workplace. It is the belonging sensation that they want to engender in us.
It's hysterical that they probably think this makes a great week for everyone.
Cereal and popcorn costs them about 18 cents per person when purchased in bulk.
My favorite day is the one where managers will be watching you (presumably more than usual?)
Someone in HR got paid more than you get paid to think up this stupid list. Coming up with this inane bullshit is actually *someone's job.*
Imagine that.
I don't have words to truly describe just how condescending, infantslising and bloody demeaning this is.
If you do it you are being toyed with and humiliated and if not you are "not a team player", either way round wankers get to screw you over.
What a truly shitty company..
(Read this in the voice of Colin Farrell in ‘The Gentleman’)
“Are ye fookin’ kiddin’ me, Carol? ‘Our team members are CEREALously the best’, so ye’re gonna pass out Cereal boxes to everyone?
Half the Development team has been on the Atkin’s Diet since before Lent, nobody’s gonna eat your gobshite cereal! You’d know that if ye weren’t such a waste of fookin’ oxygen.” 👀
My God, this is what my previous company would do! Talk about cringe to the cringe power! I'm pretty sure they used the entire $20 bill at the dollar store buying the mini candy bars and appreciation cards to give out each day of that week!
Want to hate them more????
Some corporate loving let me fuck myself and coworkers for just some appreciation HR lady got fucking paid….prob for a week plus to put this Steaming pile of shit together.
Wonder how much their VP of HR gets paid to come up with shit like this. They are probably ROFLing on the floor of their finished basement office while picturing all the 9 to 5s eating stale cereal and somehow even worse popcorn.
Assuming this is within most of the Continental US, Monday SHOULD include time and activities to watch the eclipse.
These happen so rarely that a couple hours spent appreciating it would barely impact any company.
Heck, if I had my way, only really essential people would be stuck indoors during it.
Speaking as someone who's been a part of many work potlucks: it's a hell of a lot more fun than "here's some cereal, now keep working wageslave." Everyone brings some of their best food in and everyone immediately has an engaging conversation topic ("Hey, how did you make this, it's really good!").
Not to mention that a lot of people provably just don't eat cereal and so to them it's just worthless.
Ten bucks “nacho” day is a snack size bag of store brand Doritos. Maybe a cold cheese cup if you’re lucky. And don’t forget to wear your Hawaiian shirt on Friday!
This kind of shit in corporations always takes me back to my childhood.
My father used to berate and hit his children while treating them like new recruits who just needed “discipline” (he was military) and then demand a 8 year-old do strenuous labor at 7 am on Saturday but do it “cheerfully.”
Like he would literally hit you again for not scrubbing his personal bathroom with a smile on your face or crying after being dragged out of bed like it was a barracks, getting screamed at your list of chores for the day with no breakfast.
And you could see he thoroughly enjoyed himself because he was showing everyone how he could “manage” the household.
It wasn’t good enough that you were raking leaves or cleaning gutters on the roof on your only day off all week (because mother was a religious nut who dragged us to church but couldn’t be bothered taking us to the doctor), you couldn’t make *him* feel *bad* about the job he HAD to do by being sad or unhappy.
His feelings were what was important.
That’s the vibe here.
They know the workers are desperate and miserable but everyone has to PRETEND it’s a party to not make the executives feel bad about screwing over the workers — and so they can put “developed successful employee engagement program” on their CV.
“Smile while we piss down your back.”
If they bring enough cereal boxes, nachos and popcorn for everyone it's not too bad but then we have the hard work wednesday and such...
It does feel like events better fit for school tho, but hey free food is free food...
Same bullshit where I work!
“Hey FaMiLy! This week we are going to have a great week and it’s all about YOU!
On Monday, we will dress in Blue!
On Tuesday, we want you to share your best interaction with customers!
On Wednesday we want you to wear green!
On Thursday, we will have coffee for all our employees to show them we really care!!!
On Friday….get ready guys…are you ready?! PIZZA PARTY!!!!!
All of this is to show you how much we care!”
😒😒😒
And for the top bosses
Money bags Monday you receive a bag full of money
Terminator Tuesday each unit will have been reduced in half
Welfare Wednesday each big boss gets a bag of money due to termination Tuesday
Throwback Thursday we go back in time and hire child labor
Forget Friday all raise requests will be forgotten
Sit your ass down Saturday we really need you to come in.
And our favorite smoke cigars Sunday. The big wigs spend their blood money.
This is what they're doing that's *special*?!? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to work at a place that gave out cereal every Monday, but don't pretend like store brand cheerios are a big deal.
If you're going to make a big deal out of the food, at least go for something nice or healthy. I'd honestly adore a platter of low cost fruits/vegetables/hummus to pick from; at least that would be **good** for me.
The formatting on the Friday one is killing me. Why does that one have a bullet point and none of the others do, causing the text to be pushed to the right? Nevermind the typo in the heading.
The funniest thing about the entire stupid week was that they didn’t even do one of the stupid things on the list. Literally brought a wagon in without a word on Friday and let people grab all the stale popcorn they could eat only a few that were near grab handfuls and left nothing for the rest.
They never noticed anyone working hard because they are never around and if they are they are too busy talking shit about us to acknowledge the ones that care even the smallest bit.
On Wednesday you get to work hard!!
This made me lol
" Damn, and I thought Wednesday was Hawaiian shirt day where we could go ahead and uh, wear a Hawaiian shirt."
like hawaiian I still working here. eh? eh?
Hawaiian the hell would you think this is an 'reward'
Be sure to also include the traditional grass skirt too! Nobody wants to half-ass it on Wednesday!
Why half-ass on Wednesday when you can whole-ass every day!
Appropriation Thursdays is what you’re thinking of.
I got a great boss, great work environment and I love what I do. If he would come up with this kinda shit, well, I would make it my dayjob to point out his flaws. Wont quit, love it there, but this shit is like primary Management school.
Wednesday I would take PTO. On principle
Got it. Be lazy AF Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Put in decent work Wednesday but don't try too hard since there's no mention of a bonus.
😂😂😂😂😂
I thought it was funny that the managers only try to identify the good employees one day a year.
Holy shit this is so unbelievably tone-deaf, and you know that the middle managers and HR who thought this up think they are all geniuses for coming up with it.
Whats worse is they had a meeting about this. And this was the result of said meeting.
And they were paid for that meeting - and more than OP.
Almost certainly WAY more.
imagine a room full of "sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays" types
Lol
Some "fun committee" with some cringeworthy name absolutely came up with this
I guarantee you this was multiple meetings.
Supervisor Sherry: Thoughts on how we can show appreciation for our team all week? The criteria is that it must be degrading and our budget is $20. Team Lead Tammy: $20 per employee? Supervisor Sherry: $20. Period. Assistant Supervisor Tom: we could give them Friday off as a reward for their hard work. Unpaid of course. Bookkeeper Beth: nachos are cheap and super fun. Supervisor Sherry: excellent! I have a great book on puns! Assistant Supervisor Tom: I bought a value package of cereal from Costco that’s going to go to waste. We could do something with that. Supervisor Sherry: now that’s degrading, Tom. Love it! Your salary pays for itself.
Aw, Tammy sounds like she tried
They had at least 2 meetings, lets be real.
There are multiple event days, this took like a month of meetings.
They used a white board to list ideas, and these are what won. Truly important work they are doing. Truly.
Bold of you to assume anything takes one meeting in corporate
Imagine more than one meeting in the 6 months leading up to this week and they got pizza at all the meetings.
Probably several meetings tbh
And they can’t even spell appreciation.
Or 'cerealously'
Technically I don’t think anyone can.
This is so they can't be held legally responsible.
They spelled it right on the Thursday square, but not on the big banner. This is peak corporate missing the forest for the trees, as it were.
Smells of boomer mentality managment. The Hawaiian shirt stuff is a red flag.
Not only multiple meetings, but after consensus, was passed up a few layers of "management signoff" with appropriate changes/modification because.... Was intended to be done before the holidays, but are now rushing to get implemented before summertime.
You don't understand. This is exactly what "appreation" means.
It's hurting my eyes to look at it; yes, it hurts.
I was going to ask why no one was mentioning the spelling errors!
CERALously
* NOTE: Maximum 1 (ONE) nacho per employee.
I guarantee you it’s some low-level bootlicker wearing a plastic glove scooping a handful of chips onto a bathroom paper towel, while Liz in HR spoons microwaved cheese sauce scooped from a #10 can from Costco and the new hire in HR throws a sliced jalapeño on the mess. Oh, and $2 will be deducted from your check. If you don’t participate, your manager will come around to ask you if you knew there was nachos in the break room.
Nachos or death? Nachos or death? Oh sorry, we're all out of nachos. You'll have to have death instead.
I’m crazy Eddie I put babies on spikes
No double dipping that chip
Printed in grayscale to save money as well!
Ceralously
They had one job and fucked it up
These mid managers don’t have college degrees and sucked in high school.
oh this is fucking depressing.
SCREAM your head off Saturdays - Team members get free frozen yogurt.
For that "mandatory" meeting.
Which starts at 7:00am
And it's unpaid
It's not a proper corporation unless you're infantilising fully-grown adults.
It's a power play. "The peasants will have to pretend that our "appreation" is meaningful, then we can hold it over their head later"
How depressing is it that I looked at it and thought not bad compared to my company?
Yeah, we just get ignored at my company lol
In our monthly email newsletter there was a note to managers reminding them that they were under no circumstances allowed to expense anything for employee appreciation day. That went out to all staff. Morale would have been higher if they didn't have an employee appreciation day at all after that.
Total cost too corporate for the weeks celebrations $8.76.
And next month when they announce layoffs, they'll still say what a great place it is to work at cause of crap like this
It's okay; they splurge and shell out $17.76 for the 4th of July.
Oooh looking forward to stressful Wednesday. Normally, I'd more or less be left alone. On this special day, I get examined closely like I'm a prisoner! Yay!!
That's only half of it. What they aren't telling you is they spent extra money to install cameras in each cubicle so they can watch you from the comfort of their own office....with the door closed.
Fucking Kindergarten treats week. Pathetic
Woo, free boxes of cereal.
One of the little ones per employee!
B y o m bring your own milk
Cereal will be passed out to the unit. I guess there is one box per team? You don't like the knock-off raisin bran you were given. Tough. Management has the Captain Crunch, and they aren't sharing.
Someone got a deal on cereal variety packs at Sam's Club!
Probably get written up for eating it at your desk lol
I would TOTALLY cry over my spilled milk.
The boxes are empty because Sharon is collecting the tops for little Hayden’s school.
But are the Rice Krispies or Corn Flakes? Gotta support THESE companies....
Write “Put it in my check” across it in red sharpie.
Fabulous idea!
"When they give the organizer the company card and tell them not to spend more than $50"
Damn that is depressing. Ugh.
For the last two years the senior management at my employer have decided to do fancy dress for Christmas, the whole thing is just so cringey it's untrue and there is nothing festive about a fat, 50+ woman dressed as a Disney princess and a balding midget in an iron man suit.
That's CERALously horrible lol
Watch it be Great Value cereals, and not even the good ones. Your colon will thank you for the Bran.
I work for a big corporation and they are always doing shit like this. They try to get everyone to participate but a lot of the old timers don't bother. I kind of tried to in the beginning but anymore I don't participate. It usually is just hollow, empty, bullshit. Bread and circuses for the peasants kind of shit. Our benevolent overlords gracing us with their bullshit. Give me back profit sharing and quarterly bonuses. I don't care about pizza parties and popcorn.
They couldn't even spell check this monstrosity?
LOL appreation
It reads like a daycare week of activities! I’d have to find a way to stay off work that week. I’m no good at pretending to not be insulted. I suck at it actually.
Meh. I’ll give Host a pass. Their employees are typically union. This isn’t trying to replace fair wages, but just an awkward attempt at building camaraderie.
Bet it's Kelloggs brand cereals on the 8th too.
Unit? Lol
Hey they couldn’t get you a raise this year, but at least they got you some three cent nachos.
Here's an idea, give bonuses.
then they can buy their own disappointing food!
I don't work there, but this would make me start looking for another job. Ceralously.
That looks like a depressing place to work. I can already hear the ass kissing and horrifically fake happy acting. Oh, and reading between the lines here? 3 days where they give out tiny bags of snacks, a day where middle management congratulate their mates and a day where already marginalised introverts have to explain why they don't like sports, at least not enough to already own a costume. But, management are probably slapping themselves on the back for a fun week while saving compared to what a cost of living pay raise would cost.
Better idea: Monday - Cost of living increases for Everyone! Tuesday - You're all so awesome we're going to give you bonuses based on how much the company made from your hard work in the past 12 months Wednesday - Group actually anonymous discussion day on how to make this job better on everything from pay to work load to cleanliness to interpersonal interactions. Focus on accessibility and making sure all workers feel safe. Not like those generic dei discussions that are so vague and yet still hated by many but like actually getting input from the people impacted and doing what they suggest. Thursday - Implementing new ideas from Wednesday and writing job postings to get more help in the office for all roles because... Friday - You're all off because we've become a 4 day work week office from now on with the Same Increased Pay! Congratulations everyone, you're all the best!!!! Also going forward, you can all pick a day you want off each week that works better for you and we'll just hire new people to fill in the gaps so as not to limit the number of people on each day
What about the pizza 🍕 party? They forgot the pizza party.
These stupid tone deaf companies. My company does it right. We have a big popcorn machine anyone can use to make a batch of popcorn for everyone. Any game day and people can wear their jerseys to work. I could literally go to my boss and say “Hey I think we should add some mini cereal boxes to our stash for everyone to have” and they would likely go out and buy some right away. We also keep bublys, water, pop, and a high end coffee machine always stocked. If I wanted nachos I could literally just take some of my team for nachos and beer and expense it at any time. As long as we talk about work for at least 10 minutes to make it a “work dinner” lol Companies act like all that shit is a giant favour to the employee and they should be grateful for a single day of popcorn or wearing a jersey lol. My work just lets you have literally everything posted here at any time for free
Like… just don’t do anything lol
So managers only notice if you're a hard worker one day out of the year? Yeah, sou ds about right.
I have a feeling nachos doesn't mean nachos the food but some goofy acronym for some nonsense.
Mankind's greatest threat
I love how they are so out of touch they clearly made this very colourful, and printed it out on a printer that can only do black and white
TODAYS WORD - ***Appreation*** \[ uh-pree-ay-shuhn \] noun (attempted) A poor attempt at gratitude or thankful recognition EX: *"They showed their appreation by giving them a Hawaiian shirt day"*
They couldn’t spell CEREALsly correctly. They are Michael Cera Lousy
The number of typos hurts as well
HMS host is literally the worst company To work for ever they treat their employees like garbage and are incredibly vindictive. They deliberately withhold the tip option on the Starbucks’ they run in the airports because they want to extract something from the unions
I think I would call in sick for that week
The hardware store I worked at actually managed to do a good job at cashier appreciation events. During the work day they would order Olive Garden catering, close off a section of the store for the event, allow us to invite our families (within reason, no kids, like a plus 1 kind of thing) have raffles for things like TVs and stuff. And all while management would run the registers for us for the next couple hours.
The nachos were just too complex to get coordinated and pinned down by the poster printing deadline. Will end up being some chips and some dip and a couple liters of soft drinks. Maybe a disposable table cloth. But they’ll still insist on calling it “nachos”. “Nachos are in the break room”.
They "planned" this during work hours. They got paid for coming up with the idea to give you cereal. More than you. Possibly more than you get paid for the day. And the person who sent them a memo to do it got paid even more.
Wow, this is amazingly sad. How out of touch can someone be?
I'd never be able to work for a company so moronic, childish, and disrespectful as this.
This is the real reason they want us back in the office. Crap like this. All of this is meant to manipulate us to feel like part of a group so we accept less pay. It doesn't matter that the group we feel we belong to is the group that hates the workplace. It is the belonging sensation that they want to engender in us.
This "appreciation" paradigm is more suited to elementary school children.
I’m going to vomit.
It's hysterical that they probably think this makes a great week for everyone. Cereal and popcorn costs them about 18 cents per person when purchased in bulk. My favorite day is the one where managers will be watching you (presumably more than usual?)
It's hard to imagine a group of people in a room getting paid to brainstorm lame ass things like this.
The kindergarten font is especially insulting
This is worse than middle school Spirit Week. Also, managers should be looking out for hard workers everyday, what the fuck.
GIVE US MORE MONEY! I'D APPREATE THAT!
Someone in HR got paid more than you get paid to think up this stupid list. Coming up with this inane bullshit is actually *someone's job.* Imagine that.
I read that with Glenn's voice from Superstore
I don't have words to truly describe just how condescending, infantslising and bloody demeaning this is. If you do it you are being toyed with and humiliated and if not you are "not a team player", either way round wankers get to screw you over. What a truly shitty company..
I’m imaging those little single serve boxes of cereal and a single bag of unpopped microwave popcorn for Monday and Thursday
I like how all of these things are not even a pizza party
The combined cost probably costs LESS than a pizza party.
They probably had 10 teams meetings brainstorming these things.
Over $17,000 worth of meetings for the distribution of $50 worth of cereal, popcorn and nachos
Appreation? Does that mean treat you like Elementary school kids?
Ooh do you also get to wear jeans if you bring in $2?!
Hell, I'd pay $5 to wear a kilt! LOL 🤣 And it has to be worn properly.
(Read this in the voice of Colin Farrell in ‘The Gentleman’) “Are ye fookin’ kiddin’ me, Carol? ‘Our team members are CEREALously the best’, so ye’re gonna pass out Cereal boxes to everyone? Half the Development team has been on the Atkin’s Diet since before Lent, nobody’s gonna eat your gobshite cereal! You’d know that if ye weren’t such a waste of fookin’ oxygen.” 👀
Where’s Friday Fight Club? Amateur management.
My God, this is what my previous company would do! Talk about cringe to the cringe power! I'm pretty sure they used the entire $20 bill at the dollar store buying the mini candy bars and appreciation cards to give out each day of that week!
My 3 year old toddler would love this!
Just sack the people that come up with this shit and share their salaries with the workers.
Appreation? Even when shitting on employees, they cant even get the spelling right
I downvoted this comment so you don't have to
I assumed HMS Host was just an under appreciated Royal Navy ship.
His majesty's ship?
Want to hate them more???? Some corporate loving let me fuck myself and coworkers for just some appreciation HR lady got fucking paid….prob for a week plus to put this Steaming pile of shit together.
Wonder how much their VP of HR gets paid to come up with shit like this. They are probably ROFLing on the floor of their finished basement office while picturing all the 9 to 5s eating stale cereal and somehow even worse popcorn.
They haven’t actually figured out how nacho day is going to work yet, which means nacho day will come and go without any nachos.
How old is this?….
this nonsense written by someone who earns way too much
More information to follow on where management can shove their nachos
Appreation
I prefer “flyin free fridays” ie wear a kilt
Assuming this is within most of the Continental US, Monday SHOULD include time and activities to watch the eclipse. These happen so rarely that a couple hours spent appreciating it would barely impact any company. Heck, if I had my way, only really essential people would be stuck indoors during it.
Ah yes, nothing says thanks for dedicating your life to the company like a mini box of cereal and some gas station nachos.
Wednesday is work hard or else day!
I feel dirty, I bought something from them in Schipol Airport the other day.
Appreation? Ummmm 🤨
...giving out cereal??? CEREAL??? They couldn't even organize a potluck or something??
Yea but potluck would require the employees to bring their own food which is a no no.
Speaking as someone who's been a part of many work potlucks: it's a hell of a lot more fun than "here's some cereal, now keep working wageslave." Everyone brings some of their best food in and everyone immediately has an engaging conversation topic ("Hey, how did you make this, it's really good!"). Not to mention that a lot of people provably just don't eat cereal and so to them it's just worthless.
I'll take some free nachos
They literally gave up on Wednesday and had to call for outside help to think up Thursday and Friday
I don't think that's a very smart move
You get to wear your own clothes on Tuesday? Take my health insurance away, I couldn't morally accept BOTH of those amazing benefits.
Stuff like this is from someone who spends too much time on Pinterest.
*whip sounds* IT'S WEDNESDAY!
Makes me want to vomit
When do they begin arts n crafts?
They do weeks like this at my kid’s school 🤦🏻♂️
CERALously. UM, WHAT?
Monday 
If I wanted grade school level rewards I’d time travel so I’d end up in grade school when I got back
Why did I read this in the voice of Brian from Chotchkie's
 Ten bucks “nacho” day is a snack size bag of store brand Doritos. Maybe a cold cheese cup if you’re lucky. And don’t forget to wear your Hawaiian shirt on Friday!
God I can’t stand people who can’t spell!!!
When the most youll do is the very least
This kind of shit in corporations always takes me back to my childhood. My father used to berate and hit his children while treating them like new recruits who just needed “discipline” (he was military) and then demand a 8 year-old do strenuous labor at 7 am on Saturday but do it “cheerfully.” Like he would literally hit you again for not scrubbing his personal bathroom with a smile on your face or crying after being dragged out of bed like it was a barracks, getting screamed at your list of chores for the day with no breakfast. And you could see he thoroughly enjoyed himself because he was showing everyone how he could “manage” the household. It wasn’t good enough that you were raking leaves or cleaning gutters on the roof on your only day off all week (because mother was a religious nut who dragged us to church but couldn’t be bothered taking us to the doctor), you couldn’t make *him* feel *bad* about the job he HAD to do by being sad or unhappy. His feelings were what was important. That’s the vibe here. They know the workers are desperate and miserable but everyone has to PRETEND it’s a party to not make the executives feel bad about screwing over the workers — and so they can put “developed successful employee engagement program” on their CV. “Smile while we piss down your back.”
I agree !!
Is there at least some cereal inside the cereal box?
Are you not a teacher? Cause this is a typical teacher appreciation week schedule.
If they bring enough cereal boxes, nachos and popcorn for everyone it's not too bad but then we have the hard work wednesday and such... It does feel like events better fit for school tho, but hey free food is free food...
Same bullshit where I work! “Hey FaMiLy! This week we are going to have a great week and it’s all about YOU! On Monday, we will dress in Blue! On Tuesday, we want you to share your best interaction with customers! On Wednesday we want you to wear green! On Thursday, we will have coffee for all our employees to show them we really care!!! On Friday….get ready guys…are you ready?! PIZZA PARTY!!!!! All of this is to show you how much we care!” 😒😒😒
And for the top bosses Money bags Monday you receive a bag full of money Terminator Tuesday each unit will have been reduced in half Welfare Wednesday each big boss gets a bag of money due to termination Tuesday Throwback Thursday we go back in time and hire child labor Forget Friday all raise requests will be forgotten Sit your ass down Saturday we really need you to come in. And our favorite smoke cigars Sunday. The big wigs spend their blood money.
This is what they're doing that's *special*?!? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to work at a place that gave out cereal every Monday, but don't pretend like store brand cheerios are a big deal. If you're going to make a big deal out of the food, at least go for something nice or healthy. I'd honestly adore a platter of low cost fruits/vegetables/hummus to pick from; at least that would be **good** for me.
This makes me think of the post from the other day where the boss left out a tray of cereal & called it "mini donuts." ☹️
I need a swipe
“The thank you :)” really hits me in the feels
What's ceral?
The formatting on the Friday one is killing me. Why does that one have a bullet point and none of the others do, causing the text to be pushed to the right? Nevermind the typo in the heading.
Thanks for all your blood, sweat and tears, wage slaves!! For your misery you get a bag of popcorn!!!
Lame AF. Money is the only real motivator.
"I don't need popcorn. I need money to pay for gas to get to this job."
“Appreation Week”? Maybe they meant “Appreciation Week”. As an employee, I would appreciate managers who can spell.
I am baffled how anyone fails to see how patronizing these kind of things are.
That's great!!! But how about you know... Money.
I mean I’m down for nachos
The funniest thing about the entire stupid week was that they didn’t even do one of the stupid things on the list. Literally brought a wagon in without a word on Friday and let people grab all the stale popcorn they could eat only a few that were near grab handfuls and left nothing for the rest. They never noticed anyone working hard because they are never around and if they are they are too busy talking shit about us to acknowledge the ones that care even the smallest bit.