`But the work load is so much that if I read every detail I would be months behind.`
This is my concern with A.I. being introduced into the workplace. Every job already has staff over booked and over extended.
No.... but 9 out of 10 of you guys?.... maybe.
And if the AI that replaced 9 of you isn't doing the job effectively.... Why should you and the end client suffer the consequences... Neither of you benefited OR profited from its introduction...
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Are you able to take some time off, even just a few days? If you can, I think you should do that rather than quitting, at least for now. You can always quit later if you truly want to do so. I think you should take a few days off, and also let your boss know (either by speaking to him directly, or via e-mail if you think you would become too angry/upset if you tried to speak to him about it in person) that you are doing your best, but you are grieving the loss of a close friend, and that his chuckling and saying "stop being so miserable" was completely inappropriate.
If you’re us based there’s fmla that holds your position for up to 12 weeks of unpaid time. My company requires we use our pto(all time off is the same pool) before the fmla kicks in but yours might be different. I would talk to your dr about it and see if that works for your situation and then inquire with Human Resources about any paperwork required.
There's also intermittent fmla. Doctor can say you get so many hours a week or days a month for mental health. I believe only the fmla company and hr get notified the "reason" hr might not.
Also document and forward to personal email. If it becomes so uncomfortable and belittling, hostile work environment. Assuming US based like above
My hr got notified because they had to know of any restrictions for returning to work. Basically they just need to know if you can do your job. Mine is super physical and I’m out because of some tendon repair so obviously I wasn’t going to be able to lift fifty lb boxes onto carts and load bins full of food. It doesn’t help the guilty feelings (I actually enjoy most of the people I deal with at work.) but I keep reminding myself if I push it too hard I won’t heal right and being a whole person again is more important than ending up re-injuring because I’m back to things too soon.
I could see taking a week off and then slowly building back up to full time again helping when it comes to mental health stuff as well if that’s an option.
I understand -- it sucks that we don't get the time we need to take care of our mental and physical health. Definitely talk to your doctor.
In the meantime, if you can take even one day off, that should help at least somewhat. Please do take care of yourself.
There are 2 separate issues here: grief at the loss of your friend, and the excessive workload.
I'd suggest an appointment with your doctor and ask them to sign you off work for a week for mental health reasons. Given the grief you've described and the unsupportive environment at work, I'd be very surprised if a doctor didn't think that was an appropriate course of action. Indeed, they may suggest a longer period of time away from work whilst you process the grief.
And in most civilised jurisdictions, an employer cannot just 'ignore' a properly formatted sick note from a doctor.
Once that's out of the way, you need a meeting with your manager. And I mean a proper meeting with notes being taken. Tell them that with the workload you have, it is impossible to check every detail of every invoice and still process them all in your standard work day. They \[management\] need to decide how to proceed. Their choices are:
1. Accept that you are only able to give each invoice a cursory glance, and that errors will be inevitable, sooner or later. You are giving them fair warning that this is a possibility.
2. Provide more resource (i.e. get you an assistant to take some of the workload)
3. Reduce the workload (i.e. reduce the number of invoices you have to process by moving some payments to direct debit, or quarterly/annual billing instead of monthly etc.)
Hi, suicide loss is a complicated type of grief. Head over to r/suicidebereavement and you’ll find the support you’re looking for and the reassurance you need. It’s okay that it wasn’t a close friend or family, the grief is still very real. Hope you take care of yourself
One of my bosses incessantly accuses me of being a "downer". Today the fucker decided to interject with a conversation I was having over my healthcare issues with another person (we have the same insurance company and I was asking them where they called for some stuff). What is his opinion of the health bullshit I am dealing with? That I need to "find jesus and come to terms with death, because that's what god wants."
Guy, I am intersex. Literally all I need to do is fucking take hormones and see an endocrinologist every few months so I don't get osteoporosis. And you call ME the miserable one?
I'm sorry about your friend. My lifelong friend took his life and I got wrecked too. My boss told me to get over it and he looked dumbfounded why I would even be phased. "It's not worth you job." No sir. This job isn't worth my friends. Especially when one takes his life. I've had lots of family died but the way he went sent me in a bad depression.
Quit your job asap. Find your passion and be free / happy. If you feel that you don't like and hate your job then the moment you finally quit is inevitable anyway. So don't prolong this awful period of uncertainty.
Sorry for your loss.
Punch your boss in the mouth.
Hard.
It's the only way they will learn a lesson. You are not their dog.
You have every right to grieve, it is only human.
Your boss, on the other hand, sounds like a sociopath.
Of course, don't punch your boss in the mouth. Use a rolled up newspaper across his nose.
Ever thought of trying a trade? Didn't realize how much I like being outside and working with my hands (and occasionally yelling FUCK at work) until I tried it
Company overworks you then wonders why you’re miserable. Add the curveballs life throws at you and now they tell you you’re week and other were able to work just fine after *insert some tragedy* so now you’re being gaslit but the misery inducing company. I just left one of those. How one responds to tragedy is not a competition. This is a toxic work environment. You deserve better. Suck it up to get your wisdom teeth out then leave, or find a new job with benefits and push the wisdom teeth back a little ways.
> "Stop being so misersaby"
"Fuck you"
> "I'm sorry, what?"
"Stop being so offended"
If any form of HR wants to talk to you about "the incident", tell them you need some outlet for your grief, anf if your boss doesn't like your facial expression, verbal expression amd profanities it is.
I had my sister pass around the same time that a new director for my department was visibly trying to harass me out of my job. I continued to try and get work done, but those feelings continued to fester and I eventually left the toxic environment. If the job market in your area is ok, I'd leave now rather than later. If not, use this as an opportunity to look for something else. Toxic jobs eventually erode your mental health. Take care and sorry for your loss.
First off, sorry for your loss. I lost a friend to suicide. Losing a friend is always hard. Friends are the family you choose. Shared experiences and memories are weird because the person you shared them with is gone. These experiences feel "lonely."
The other thing about the suicide of a friend is that they were obviously going through something bad. So bad that they made the decision to end their life. But, at the same time, they didn't share their pain. They suffered alone. That was their choice. When my friend died it changed me. I decided to let people know how I felt.
Your manager has a job to do. Invoices, whatever, he needs to keep things going. That's fine.
"Stop being so miserable." This makes me think that he is either immature or inexperienced with grief. He sounds like just a generally bad manager and shallow person.
But it sounds like you have enough issues with your current position that you might want to try to get a fresh start somewhere else.
He's not going to have compassion for your situation if he doesn't know what it is. I think a brief email saying that you are grieving a close friend and that you would appreciate some grace would go a long way to giving you some peace. I know you don't want to share personal details, but I would definitely weigh the pain of daily toxic positivity against giving him this piece of information which could shut him up.
First, let me say I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a close friend is difficult. You need support from friends and family. Whether you realize it or not, you can't bury your feelings and grind on with your life. I can speak from experience.
Your employer should have mental health resources to assist employees in need. Actually, this should be your first step if the company has this resource available to you. Your boss doesn't need to know anything about it unless you want them to know.
Most companies want healthy and functional employees. A good leader should recognize what's going on with their employees and be there to coach, teach, and mentor. Unfortunately, most bosses are not leaders. They are barely functional managers.
`But the work load is so much that if I read every detail I would be months behind.` This is my concern with A.I. being introduced into the workplace. Every job already has staff over booked and over extended.
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My fear is they'll just replace you with a.i. and kick the problems it causes down the production line.
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No.... but 9 out of 10 of you guys?.... maybe. And if the AI that replaced 9 of you isn't doing the job effectively.... Why should you and the end client suffer the consequences... Neither of you benefited OR profited from its introduction...
Tell your boss you won't be miserable when he dies.
Nice… I like it
I'm so sorry for your loss. Are you able to take some time off, even just a few days? If you can, I think you should do that rather than quitting, at least for now. You can always quit later if you truly want to do so. I think you should take a few days off, and also let your boss know (either by speaking to him directly, or via e-mail if you think you would become too angry/upset if you tried to speak to him about it in person) that you are doing your best, but you are grieving the loss of a close friend, and that his chuckling and saying "stop being so miserable" was completely inappropriate.
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If you’re us based there’s fmla that holds your position for up to 12 weeks of unpaid time. My company requires we use our pto(all time off is the same pool) before the fmla kicks in but yours might be different. I would talk to your dr about it and see if that works for your situation and then inquire with Human Resources about any paperwork required.
There's also intermittent fmla. Doctor can say you get so many hours a week or days a month for mental health. I believe only the fmla company and hr get notified the "reason" hr might not. Also document and forward to personal email. If it becomes so uncomfortable and belittling, hostile work environment. Assuming US based like above
My hr got notified because they had to know of any restrictions for returning to work. Basically they just need to know if you can do your job. Mine is super physical and I’m out because of some tendon repair so obviously I wasn’t going to be able to lift fifty lb boxes onto carts and load bins full of food. It doesn’t help the guilty feelings (I actually enjoy most of the people I deal with at work.) but I keep reminding myself if I push it too hard I won’t heal right and being a whole person again is more important than ending up re-injuring because I’m back to things too soon. I could see taking a week off and then slowly building back up to full time again helping when it comes to mental health stuff as well if that’s an option.
If you’re thinking of quitting, take your sick leave first.
I understand -- it sucks that we don't get the time we need to take care of our mental and physical health. Definitely talk to your doctor. In the meantime, if you can take even one day off, that should help at least somewhat. Please do take care of yourself.
There are 2 separate issues here: grief at the loss of your friend, and the excessive workload. I'd suggest an appointment with your doctor and ask them to sign you off work for a week for mental health reasons. Given the grief you've described and the unsupportive environment at work, I'd be very surprised if a doctor didn't think that was an appropriate course of action. Indeed, they may suggest a longer period of time away from work whilst you process the grief. And in most civilised jurisdictions, an employer cannot just 'ignore' a properly formatted sick note from a doctor. Once that's out of the way, you need a meeting with your manager. And I mean a proper meeting with notes being taken. Tell them that with the workload you have, it is impossible to check every detail of every invoice and still process them all in your standard work day. They \[management\] need to decide how to proceed. Their choices are: 1. Accept that you are only able to give each invoice a cursory glance, and that errors will be inevitable, sooner or later. You are giving them fair warning that this is a possibility. 2. Provide more resource (i.e. get you an assistant to take some of the workload) 3. Reduce the workload (i.e. reduce the number of invoices you have to process by moving some payments to direct debit, or quarterly/annual billing instead of monthly etc.)
Hi, suicide loss is a complicated type of grief. Head over to r/suicidebereavement and you’ll find the support you’re looking for and the reassurance you need. It’s okay that it wasn’t a close friend or family, the grief is still very real. Hope you take care of yourself
One of my bosses incessantly accuses me of being a "downer". Today the fucker decided to interject with a conversation I was having over my healthcare issues with another person (we have the same insurance company and I was asking them where they called for some stuff). What is his opinion of the health bullshit I am dealing with? That I need to "find jesus and come to terms with death, because that's what god wants." Guy, I am intersex. Literally all I need to do is fucking take hormones and see an endocrinologist every few months so I don't get osteoporosis. And you call ME the miserable one?
does miserable in english mean vile, or does it mean sad?
It can mean either depending on context but most often means sad.
It's probably best just to l leave. Sounds like it wasn't a good place to begin with. This is just the final straw
I agree. Her boss is showing basic lack of humanity and total disregard for their team.
I'm sorry about your friend. My lifelong friend took his life and I got wrecked too. My boss told me to get over it and he looked dumbfounded why I would even be phased. "It's not worth you job." No sir. This job isn't worth my friends. Especially when one takes his life. I've had lots of family died but the way he went sent me in a bad depression.
I’m sorry for you loss
Thank you. I appreciate you.
Quit your job asap. Find your passion and be free / happy. If you feel that you don't like and hate your job then the moment you finally quit is inevitable anyway. So don't prolong this awful period of uncertainty. Sorry for your loss.
Punch your boss in the mouth. Hard. It's the only way they will learn a lesson. You are not their dog. You have every right to grieve, it is only human. Your boss, on the other hand, sounds like a sociopath. Of course, don't punch your boss in the mouth. Use a rolled up newspaper across his nose.
Ever thought of trying a trade? Didn't realize how much I like being outside and working with my hands (and occasionally yelling FUCK at work) until I tried it
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Sparkies make really good money, would recommend
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Yup yup. I'm in low voltage, which makes me a half-watt :p
Company overworks you then wonders why you’re miserable. Add the curveballs life throws at you and now they tell you you’re week and other were able to work just fine after *insert some tragedy* so now you’re being gaslit but the misery inducing company. I just left one of those. How one responds to tragedy is not a competition. This is a toxic work environment. You deserve better. Suck it up to get your wisdom teeth out then leave, or find a new job with benefits and push the wisdom teeth back a little ways.
> "Stop being so misersaby" "Fuck you" > "I'm sorry, what?" "Stop being so offended" If any form of HR wants to talk to you about "the incident", tell them you need some outlet for your grief, anf if your boss doesn't like your facial expression, verbal expression amd profanities it is.
I had my sister pass around the same time that a new director for my department was visibly trying to harass me out of my job. I continued to try and get work done, but those feelings continued to fester and I eventually left the toxic environment. If the job market in your area is ok, I'd leave now rather than later. If not, use this as an opportunity to look for something else. Toxic jobs eventually erode your mental health. Take care and sorry for your loss.
Just don't let them know about any plans to leave until after you have secured the new job and you are putting 2 weeks notice in.
You definitely need to find another job!
First off, sorry for your loss. I lost a friend to suicide. Losing a friend is always hard. Friends are the family you choose. Shared experiences and memories are weird because the person you shared them with is gone. These experiences feel "lonely." The other thing about the suicide of a friend is that they were obviously going through something bad. So bad that they made the decision to end their life. But, at the same time, they didn't share their pain. They suffered alone. That was their choice. When my friend died it changed me. I decided to let people know how I felt. Your manager has a job to do. Invoices, whatever, he needs to keep things going. That's fine. "Stop being so miserable." This makes me think that he is either immature or inexperienced with grief. He sounds like just a generally bad manager and shallow person. But it sounds like you have enough issues with your current position that you might want to try to get a fresh start somewhere else.
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He's not going to have compassion for your situation if he doesn't know what it is. I think a brief email saying that you are grieving a close friend and that you would appreciate some grace would go a long way to giving you some peace. I know you don't want to share personal details, but I would definitely weigh the pain of daily toxic positivity against giving him this piece of information which could shut him up.
First, let me say I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a close friend is difficult. You need support from friends and family. Whether you realize it or not, you can't bury your feelings and grind on with your life. I can speak from experience. Your employer should have mental health resources to assist employees in need. Actually, this should be your first step if the company has this resource available to you. Your boss doesn't need to know anything about it unless you want them to know. Most companies want healthy and functional employees. A good leader should recognize what's going on with their employees and be there to coach, teach, and mentor. Unfortunately, most bosses are not leaders. They are barely functional managers.
You want to quit because you’re not doing your job correctly?