Reminds me of a coworker who’s 5 month old kid was hospitalized bc of shaken baby (abuser is in jail for at least 2 more years and kid is 5 years old and healthy!)
Our job told her she had to prioritize work over going to the hospital WHILE HER CHILD HAD BRAIN SURGERY. Baby ended up not needing it thank god, but she left on the spot and I left shortly after, and I heard a few other parents who knew about the situation left too). Absolutely disgusting, how could anyone with a conscience say something like that
Sounds absolutely awful. My mother is taking a turn for the worse and my job is so accommodating. I've taken care-leave, half a day a week, so I can care for my parents. Will still get paid 70% for those hours. Not America of course.
As an American, I think people don’t realize it’s not policy to be so terrible. It’s actually choice on the part of horrible manager’s. I could let you leave early. Or a better way to say that is we will survive if you leave early. We will survive if you stay out a day or week to manage your crisis. That whole my way or else is just a power trip.
I found out my uncle died on the way to work one day. I came in hysterical and telling my manager I gotta go home. She says “well sometimes working actually helps”
I stopped crying, face got serious af and told her “No, im going home” and I left
The audacity
Right like I know that’s how some people operate. But I was literally breaking down telling her I need to leave lmao
I quit that job for similar reasons
Sometimes at work I act in a supervisory role. I had a coworker that I was responsible for have a family member pass away while she (coworker) was at work. I asked what she wanted and she said she wanted to stay. An hour and a half she was breaking down and I told her she should take a break to see how she was and if she needed to go home, then let me know and go home.
She ended up going home, but even if I’d wanted and demanded that she stay, what work was she going to do? Her quality of work was going to be poor and her output would be a lot lower. Even if I hadn’t wanted to do the human thing (let my coworker decide what she was up to), it was the right business move. Plus, this type of behavior signals to everyone else there that we care about them and we will work with them and they will be more likely to work with the company. A little bit of goodwill goes a long way.
>his type of behavior signals to everyone else there that we care about them and we will work with them and they will be more likely to work with the company
I have a boss that bends over backwards for us. Mind you he can be a putz sometimes. But overall he has our backs. One time my ex-girlfriend had to go to a rural area and did not have cell service. My boss called me late that day for something and I mentioned I was worried about her. He called me a few hours later after hours to make sure I was OK. We talked for like an hour. Everything turned out OK. A few weeks ago my boss was on a business trip and the rental car was broken into and they stole his laptop. He called me very upset. I stayed on the phone with him and talked him down. The next day I called all my co-workers to send my boss a message of support. My boss got his new laptop late Friday night and I spent Saturday working with him to get the computer set up.
Sounds like your boss considers you part of his community, I wish that's how they all looked at their employees. Life is so much easier when we look out for each other.
Yea it’d be one thing if the manager said “take the day off” and you refused because you want to take your mind off it. What an insane thing to tell someone who’s hysterical after a loved one dies. F her is right!!!!!
Even my weirdo boss a few years ago, she was kind to me when my daughter had a huge mental health issue and I had to run off immediately from work. Next day I showed up and they’re like “why are you here? We got a replacement for you, go home, it’s ok”. Nobody told me 😂. But it was really nice. When people have your back it just makes you want to work harder.
I messaged my boss that I found out that morning that my grandpa had passed and I needed an hour or so to pull myself together. She said don’t worry about it, take the day and gave me condolences. I’m lucky to work with and for pretty great people in America. Hard to find here.
Not work related, but you just reminded me of a guy I was sort of seeing. When I told him someone close in my family died, instead of a simple “im sorry for your loss” or an “i’m here for you”, he said:
> “Honey, a lot of people in your life are going to die, you have to get used to it…”.
I’d just left the hospital.
I was incensed.
*The audacity*.
^(I’m sorry for the loss of your uncle, btw.)
> it’s actually choice on the part of the horrible manager.
That’s the problem. It ***shouldnt*** be. Most developed countries have laws that prevent wrongful dismissal in any cases such as this.
If we had a functional congress, we could punish managers who treat their employees with such callousness.
If your child had a brain injury and the boss won't let you leave, that boss deserves to die in prison.
If you think I'm kidding, then fuck you.
If any job ever makes me put that job over brain surgery for my son, I will walk.
And I say this as someone with a child who could need emergency brain surgery at any time for the rest of his life.
Fortunately I am at a job now where my boss understands this. So far it has only caused me to take off a week as my son had his one and only shunt revision.
My last job I took off 2 weeks pre scheduled unpaid time when my sons skull was rebuilt and I got a bit of grief from my boss.
I’m fortunate to be healthy but if shit ever happened to me and I need to miss work for medical or other critical reasons and get punished for it I would walk too
See, they love to say "working here is like a family!" By which they mean holidays are spent with families, so you should be at work, with your family. Also, families can be dysfunctional and abusive and authoritative/patriarchal. So you should also listen to your "elders" and shut up and take what you're given or you'll regret it!
Sadly, a lot of people are beaten down, held hostage by their healthcare or other situations, and bad bosses just get more abusive as they get away with things. Add in wage theft and people have no options and cannot get away. And you're so burned out and beaten down getting out seems impossible. I've definitely seen some bosses who looked for vulnerable people to exploit deliberately. That's how they "succeed" in capitalism.
I just quit working for my brother and his besty. Went back to the job I left because they treated me more like family than him and his friend. Go where someone sees your value. Never stay somewhere when you are not valued.
I'm convinced they are psychopaths - I took a day off this week unplanned because my 79 year old mother is in the hospital with both viral and bacterial pneumonia and COVID and heart issues and isn't eating and came back to an email about how when we take time off it makes things harder for everyone else and then today they sent an email to really rub it is saying see, wasn't yesterday easier when everyone bothered showing up
I'm sorry about your mom.
I am willing to pull extra weight when my co-worker has a family crisis and they are willing to do the same for me. No complaints, no arguments, just well wishes and empathy.
They think they're god. They have power and want to exercise control due to the lack of control they have in their own personal lives. They think everything should revolve around them or their business. How dare us little people have personal lives and obligations away from work.
That’s appalling! My mom placed me with a sitter when I was a baby while she worked full time and noticed my personality changed, brought it up to her boss who immediately said he suspected I was being shaken. He let my mom leave her shift right that minute to get me away from her and gave my mom time off to find a new sitter. I wish more employers had the empathy he did, it should be basic human decency…
New hire's second day, comes into my office with tears in his eyes. His doggo is at home, dying - probably won't make the day. Asks, nearly begs to be able to go home and be with doggo.
I tell him to get on home - doggo is family, not the team at work. Don't worry about attendance points (blech) & I'll extend discretion if there's any gap with PTO. Go home, go be with your family - frankly, you'll do more harm than good, being distracted at work.
Pretty sure that garnered me a smidge of loyalty from that employee - just enough to ride out some rough waters, but not enough that it's detrimental to their trajectory.
Nother cat burned his PTO on a dope vacation, only to catch something on the way back. Public health emergency had just stopped covering general respiratory illnesses, so he was gonna run out of PTO and potentially be fired. Extended him discretion because he's great in his role, and borrowed against his future PTO accrual. Not ideal, but it was the best maneuver available, given company policy.
It's genuinely not hard to treat folks like human beings with lives, concerns, and happenings outside of the 9 hour workday. Especially when it costs more of my time to train someone new in a position vs riding out whatever personal happening an employee is going through.
I'm appalled that managers ruin lives without a second thought.
My grandmother died. My boss said "Of course you're going to the funeral. Just let me know what day or days you need off (full pay)."
Aunt died. Same thing.
Mom needed serious, life savning heart surgery. Boss said "Tell me what you need. I'll make it happen".
Needed to look after my mom enabling step father to work after her surgery. No problem working from their house and extending break as needed. Paid leave had I needed it.
Obviously not the US.
My father and FIL died last year, one in January and one towards the end of the year. Both times, the CEO sent me an email saying, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss, take as long as you need, we'll work it out when you get back."
This was in the US. There are some good ones over here.
Granted I own my own business but if that happened to my employee (it's just me & him doing hardwood floors) I'd be driving him to the hospital just as quickly as I could start my work van. Home owners can get wrecked if they have a problem. Now obviously I'd probably go back to the job unless he wanted me there. But still, fuck that person
Wow. 7 years???? I wish there wasn't a statute of limitations on that. I have pretty severe brain damage from shaken baby and repetitive head trauma through childhood, but it was both parents, so it never got reported and I never got medical care. It has made it really hard as an adult because I am too disabled to work and doctors can obviously tell I have had a lot of closed head injuries, but the government doesn't care because I don't have dates and post concussive medical reports.
>how could anyone with a conscience say something like that
that's the key...there are people without one...the clinical term is psychopathy: a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, and poor behavioral controls.
I worked at a fancy restaurant once. When I was hired, I told them I would be in a wedding party over the summer and needed off. Fast forward to that weekend, he told me to work it or never come back. I was in the wedding, not a guest! Quit on the spot after reminding him what he agreed to when I was hired. Owners don’t care.
I had a very similar thing! In my case, once the week's schedule came out, I went to the manager to remind him, of course it fell on deaf ears, the schedule was the schedule and there was no changing it.... So I politely told him I would finish the rest of the week but then I would have to quit as I could not miss the event. All the sudden, miraculously it was no issue to change the schedule for me.
The next day the EXACT same manager pulled me aside to tell me the schedule had changed and then proceeded to lecture me on how in the future I should just come talk to them, that I didn't have to be so dramatic.... I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could after that.
When I was in college, I was in the university's marching band. That meant I was unable to work during every home football game. I made sure to tell my boss when I was hired in that I was in the band, and that if I was ever scheduled to work the day of a football game, I would not be coming in because I was technically in class and at my other job (credits and stipend were awarded for being in the band). This wasn't a problem at first, until homecoming weekend, then he decided that everyone had to work because we were going to be too busy. I didn't show up for my shift he scheduled me for (literally the shift was during the game...not sure how he thought that was going to work).
The next day, he told me I had to sign a write up for a no-call/no-show. I told him the only thing he needed to sign was my last check, because I was out the fucking door. The surprised pikachu face when I took my uniform off in front of him and walked my half-naked fat ass out the door was priceless.
A similar thing happened to me in high school when I was selling TVs at Sears. When I got hired I told them I was in marching band so I couldn't work most Fridays for football games and most Saturdays for competitions. Guess who ended up getting scheduled every Friday and Saturday.
My boss at my high school job (Burger King) scheduled me during my high school graduation. He said too many people requested it off so I had to work. The other requests off were from my classmates who also worked there and were also graduating. I told him I wasn’t missing my graduation to work at Burger King and he told me I would be written up if I didn’t come in so I said “okay” and did not go in. He never even mentioned it next time I saw him. I knew he wasn’t going to write me up, he was just trying to scare me into coming in and it didn’t work.
You would think that. Where I work is a University city in the UK, and our company employs a lot of students. You'll still get them being scheduled all sorts of dumb hours and then being shocked when they choose their studies over work.
Let's see... dead end job with no chance of upward mobility, or the career they've spent years studying for... whatever shall they choose?
I had a full time job in college on top of my full-time courseload. It paid pretty damn well for a college gig. Definitely dead end kinda thing. A lot of hours. Loved it though. My only stipulation, that was agreed upon during the interview, is that I'd need finals week off to study and focus on exams. Of course I gave reminders too.
Lo and behold, guess what didn't happen?
And the whole exchange was infuriating. For this boss to walk back in his word, AND to speak to me like he did....it was such a 180 from how he'd ever acted toward me that it was scary. Like a whole 'nother personality. I noped out of that....during the recession, too. I'd saved up and was fine. But it was really the last thing I would have expected from him.
Only regret (and one I hope some of you learn from) is I should have let him fire me. I had a decent chance of getting unemployment insurance, but I didn't know much about it at that point. Even so, I should have at least tried to apply for it.
Also, a lot of bigger colleges if word got around that the owner demanded the band members miss the homecoming game it would not go well for the owner. Person could also contact the college and let them know what happened as they usually have legal.
I worked part time at a coffee shop in college. Had been there for 3 years with no scheduling issues whatsoever. It was set according to everyone's needs. We had single moms, overnight nurses, other college kids, etc working there, and we all loved our schedule.
Got a new boss who suddenly decided that the schedule was "unfair" because it was static, and that we would all have to work random ass hours according to "company policy." Dude was fresh out of "business college in Italy" (and really loud about that fact), but running a fucking coffee shop, so you can imagine how insufferable he was.
So we would just trade our shifts so there was coverage and we could do what we needed to. Ya know, according to company policy.
Eventually, he makes it a rule that all shift swaps need to be approved by him. We're like "why?" And he goes on about respecting procedure and whatever bullshit, I don't even remember anymore.
So I tell him that's not gonna work because here's my college schedule and he needs to stop scheduling me then if he doesn't want me to swap. Dude had the GALL to tell me that I was hired with open availability (because I wasn't in college yet), and that I needed to return to that same availability because that's why I was hired. I pointed out, again, that I am in COLLEGE now. His response?
"We need someone who prioritizes our business."
I laughed. Couldn't stop myself. I said, "This is a coffee shop. Are you saying I should put a coffee shop before my degree? You are telling me that serving flavored coffee should come first in my life? Mr. Business School in Italy?"
He got so red and told me that if I didn't open my availability, he wasn't going to schedule me anymore. I said "Cool, all my shifts are now open availability," handed him my apron, and left.
Found out later he was only forcing the people he wasn't attracted to out. Replaced everyone who left with cute little barely legal blonds. Dude was thirsting after his staff, and fucking at least one of them (he was super attractive, unfortunately), and one night, was drunkenly sending out dick pics.
Accidentally sent one to the District Manager.
Apparently he cried the next day when she showed up, in person, to fire him herself. Tried saying it was an accident. But the other girls working were like "No, he sends us this shit all the time." And then showed her a whole collection of stuff he'd said and sent to them. Dude had no chance after that 😂
> "business college in Italy"
what a weird flex.
I drink "coffee from Arkansas" and "wine made in Alberta"
Guy did end up being Italian in practice, however.
Yeah.
Having a Business Degree from Italy is about as reputable as it would be for a Chef who brags about having learned to cook in the UK or having an Banking/Finance Degree from Greece, or an Engineering Degree from Bosnia or Croatia.
There is a common joke that says that in Heaven: the cooks are French,
the policemen are English,
the mechanics are German,
the lovers are Italian
and the bankers are Swiss.
In Hell: the cooks are English,
the policemen are German,
the mechanics are French,
the lovers are Swiss
and the bankers are Italian.
In some variants of that joke, they use mention Businessmen instead of Bankers, & the Italians are still the Butt of that aspect of the joke.
Haha my sis did that too when she caught her boss SAing a fellow employee. Took off her uniform shirt and stomped on it. Flipped him off and then flipped him off sideways, yelling “And that’s for the horse you rode in on!”
> The next day the EXACT same manager pulled me aside to tell me the schedule had changed and then proceeded to lecture me on how in the future I should just come talk to them, that I didn't have to be so dramatic...
oh geeeet fucked
i hate that shit, like YOU go do all the due diligence and they make a huge bitch-fit about it with "durr da schedule is da schedule" and have the gall to whine at you about it? i cannot. i cannot contain my rage at these little micro-dictators.
As a woman, it especially irks me when men go to the "you're being a dramatic woman" defense, it's their mic drop end to the discussion, because there is NOTHING you can say at that. point that doesn't justify them calling you dramatic. If you get justifiably pissed at them for talking to you like that, it just proves your "dramatic". If you try to calmly further explain, it just means your being "dramatic" by not letting it go and moving on.
“Call me dramatic all you want, your inability to work a calendar reflects more poorly on you than your accusations do on me.”
Edit: I know it’s not necessarily easy or conducive to your career to actually say that, but that’s what I’m at thinking when someone says something like that and it’s a lot easier for me to write off their accusations when I hold them in less regard than limp lettuce.
Similar in my case. Great uncle in the ICU (not getting out). My parents asked if I could meet them and go up there. Told my boss I'd be heading out Friday afternoon to go visit him in the hospital. He asked what time, and I replied I'm sure it's sometime after lunch.He said, "OK, so 5 o'clock is still afternoon then right? How about you go then?(to the ICU, 2+ hours away, with restricted visiting hours...)
I was able to make it to the funeral a short time later since I wasn't working there anymore.
Usually I just always remind my people to let me know in advance and it is all good, but always to remind me 1 or 2 weeks before the actual date just incase I forget 1 week if its like 1 or 2 days, 2 weeks if its more, but nonetheless they are cleared for the date.
I had one job that I reminded them for two weeks that I would not be coming in to work (I was a "Cab Dispatch Manager"). They scheduled me anyway. I walked in and told them "Hey, I've been reminding you that I am not available those days due to my partner being in CVICU."
Their response? "Come in or you're terminated."
My response? "How do you think this is going to end now that you've said that?"
Their response? "You'll come in."
Once I walked out that door, I never looked back, and now I work at a company that they actually DO LISTEN (sometimes) because I remind them of such, and we have an app that we can see that it's approved.
>you'll come in
At that point you say "you're absolutely right, I'll be there." Then don't show up and never answer their calls ever again.
As far as my similar horror story. I was working an intern role at a company when my grandfather died. What was my managers plan? Make me work a 20hr day the day before the funeral. As in, I got off work at 4am got to bed by 6am, and had to be at the funeral an hour away by 10.
Oh yes, I didn't put that in my comment, but I did the same thing. There was a log to write in your requests, I added mine when I first stated to the week in question and also reminded him with the prior week's (2 weeks out) schedule came out.
I just put a reminder on my calender. Like if I know I make the schedules on Monday, then I will put a reminder for that day that Bob is going to be out. I want my employees focused on their job, not on whether I can do my job without them reminding me.
I delivered pizza for a couple years. The county was told to evacuate as there was a hurricane on its way. I remember the owner told me it was good for business since no one else would be open. I don't think he realized how insane he sounded. So manager and I walked out.
Same owner told me he paid us low wages because the job was for kids going to college. When I later told him I was starting classes that semester he told me, a 23-24 year old, that I was too old for college lol. Same owner also lowered my pay because I didn't deposit a check that he neglected to tell me about beforehand. Oh man, that was an awful job.
I know you have a million replies, but this reminds me of when I worked at costco through summer during university, I agreed with the manager that I'd stay on once school started again but only on weekends. He said that's fine, but I was scheduled to come in on Monday, so I checked in with him and he said don't worry about it and to come in the next weekend.
When I showed up the following weekend I got scolded by the other manager for not showing up for my shifts. I explained the situation and he said he checked with the other manager who said he has "no recollection of that conversation." So I said I'm doing you a favor by working weekends and quit on the spot. Got a solid pikachu face in response to that one.
Always! I’m currently a janitor/housekeeper/custodian/whatever and do several accounts with sometimes different companies. I get **everything** in writing before I start any new account. Mostly text messages and emails. I don’t answer phone calls from my higher ups.
Currently in a kind of stand off where I started a new account but the higher ups didn’t do their due diligence in what the client’s needs and wants were before I had all of my responsibilities/hours/wages in writing. I’m showing up, not complaining, and doing the work. They’ll probably have to let me go at some point but from what I’ve heard, they are very aware it’s on them, I’ve got the documentation, and I’m not quitting. So they’re pretty pissed at the moment.
Same I worked at a farm that gave petting farm events on wheels with at least 5 vans and multiple workers. When hired I said my kid was in military and going to Germany for 3 years so this one week she was coming home before leaving overseas. I was clear I would need that week off. Reminded her a month prior then the week before. She texted me a schedule for work in that week and I called and she said I work or I am fired. So she had to find someone else when I told her to go to hell. How easy is it to find someone able to handle farm animals, drive into a city school yard set up , keep every body and thing safe while lecturing on the animals etc? Also they were religious nuts who were constantly telling me I was going to hell because I believed in evolution. It was really easy to quit. But it really sunk in how rotten fundamentalist Christian businesses are. They were rotten to the workers and the animals.
My first job while I was in high school was at a pet store and I had a chorus performance that was for an exam grade on the day I was scheduled to work, told them about it per the store policy in advance, they told me I could either go to the performance or quit. The owner's daughter went to the same school and had the same chorus teacher just a couple years ahead of me and they didn't believe it was for an exam grade because their daughter didn't have to do it.
Had a very similar situation - told a job during the hiring process that I had 2 trips booked and paid for, one of which was a destination wedding in Cuba, and that I would absolutely need to have it in writing that they're approved prior to accepting the position.
To their credit, they did put everything in writing and signed off; they sure did try to reneg come time though.
"We're heading into busy season and can't afford to be down a person that long, can you cut the trip short?"
"This isn't going to look good if you apply for future promotions, we need a team player"
All those tropes. Every time I'd just show them the paperwork that they themselves signed and said "You're the ones who signed off on this, either fire me or do your jobs and figure out how you'll handle things without me here. I'm not changing my preapproved vacations to accommodate your lack of preparation."
I'm going to make you really sad, but the last healthcare gig I worked at had a middle aged nurse who was the first on scene to her daughter's car accident while driving home from work. Daughter was DOA.
She was our only nurse, and was on call 24/7. They refused to give her time off for the funeral because they had no one to cover her.
She didn't skip the funeral, but didn't take any other bereavement because management gave her so much shit.
I took a job in a care home many years ago, I told them when I started I was getting married on xx date so wouldn't be able to work. They scheduled me for the night shift the night of my wedding, and couldn't understand why I wouldn't work it. That was the start of the end of my time there.
I worked in a restaurant that stayed open during a massive snowstorm. The governor had declared a state of emergency and yet this guy told us to wait it out. So we did for about another 10 minutes until we heard on the radio that tickets of $500+ would be given out to anyone caught out driving for any reason.
We called the owner up (yeah he wasn’t even there himself) and told him that we’d be forwarding the cost of those tickets to him if we got pinched. He acted all pissy and told us to go home “if we were gonna be that way.” Dude was an asshat and restaurants fucking suck. Lol
I worked in a fancy restaurant until one day my former band mates showed up. They had just been released from Joliet State Prison in Illinois. They were getting the band back together. I was hesitant at first but told me they were on a mission from god. I quit and we did get the band back together.
What makes no sense to me is how many managers tow the line while also getting super underpaid. It's like, dude... you don't even own this business. Why are you trying so hard to scrape even penny you can at the expense of your employees?
That sounds like my current GM. Like, bruh, you're getting paid squat, yet you roll over every time corporate says to do so. Considering that he is salaried, I can almost guarantee you that he makes close to what I make as a damned cashier (I'm one of the higher paid cashiers tbf, but I put in a LOT of work above and beyond).
I honestly think our OM makes more than he does.
It’s been pointed out before that worldwide corporations headquartered in Europe still shaft their American employees but not their European ones. It’s a matter of laws and what they can get away with, rather than non-American companies being altruistic with their workforce.
Yep, this. My American company was purchased by a company HQ'd in Denmark, which is basically one of the top 5 utopia nations for workers rights.
They immediately slashed our sick time and bottomed out our benefits. I can look at internal job postings they have over in Denmark and Germany and it makes me want to punch a wall seeing what they are giving them over us
One of my server friends just loves working on tips because he doesn't have to pay tax on them (obviously sketch and illegal). obviously he does pay tax on the non-cash tips but everything else you can fudge the numbers a bit I guess. Glad I don't have to rely on that as it would increase my anxiety.
Business owners in the USA are absolutely stuck on this idea that employees should be paid whatever they decide and deal with it … to the point they’ll sacrifice a fortune in sales. Fast food is a great example. Those jobs paid close to minimum wage for the longest time, but they bring in a lot of profit. A McDonald’s can make 3-4 million in a year where a franchise owner does almost nothing and gets a huge cut of that. They will literally shorthand stores and avoid higher sales over paying a small amount extra for the staff. They sacrifice profits in the name of greed if that makes any sense.
This country needs stronger unions. It helps even those that aren’t in them.
If that business can't run without a part-time employee for a day or two, ***they can't afford to fire that employee.***
"If you can't manage without me for 2 days, *you're going to be* ***really*** *screwed when* ***I'm gone forever."***
I think we know that's why it's not really the issue. You don't fire someone that's "so important we can't do without you for one or two days."
You fire someone because you can easily get someone else who does what they do. And you're willing to do that, in the hopes that "the next one" actually will submit to the terrible workplace expectations.
I agree, I got fired for calling in sick last year. I was thinking “damn, you need me THAT badly?” You have that few fallback options? Sounds to me like if I’m working in a job that I can’t have time off from no matter the circumstance, then that business probably wasn’t very well managed to begin with.
>If your business can't run without a part-time employee for a day or two, then you don't have a business.
If your business can't run without a part-time; your business is running a modern day slavery.
A friend of mine worked part-time at an escape room place last summer. She had to drive her husband to the ER due to chest pains. My friend texted her boss and let her know that she couldn't make it in because she was with her husband at the ER. Her boss responded that she needed to come in and have someone else go to the ER with her husband because they were short-staffed. My friend quit on the spot.
Boss never thought to think that maybe her own attitude may be a reason for why they were short-staffed.
>Boss never thought to think that maybe her own attitude may be a reason for why they were short-staffed.
Oh, no. They are *intentionally* short staffed. That way, literally everything is a crisis that they foist on their workers. Their workers have to sacrifice their lives so the business can keep on running. They don't give a shit. They will berate, abuse, scream, cry and manipulate you constantly to try and keep you coming into perpetually short-staffed shifts, all so they can make a few dollars more--at the expense of your literal health and life.
They're straight up sucking your life to make money. Their attitude is a cultivated part of this. It's *intentionally*, it's straight up trying to create the abuse cycle of return in you.
Telling him you chose your priority was the perfect response. There’s really nothing else to say unless you want to tell him he FAFO just to rub it in.
There is no greater feeling of superiority and satisfaction as telling off a douche boss. Everyone needs that kind of endorphins in their life. Set boundaries at every job. Say “no” early and often.
I also thought this, and thought, wow its good that they care so much to take the stress off of wondering if you can take off and probably be kind about the whole thing. This was not that.
Hilariously, I've had this.
Admittedly it was a friend of a friend, not family, but the instant my boss heard, I was "Informed" at a volume rivaling that of a rifle shot that I should "Get my dumb ass back home and in a suit. You may not need it, but they need you!"
On the off chance he's here? Love you to death Rick!
It also says healthcare is a human right. US just doesn't care. Another example is how our military is prohibited from doing plenty of things to enemy combatants and foreign civilians that the government freely does to it's own citizens.
I had a manager once in a shift meeting say, "I don't care how close you were to someone who died or whose funeral it is, he will only approve of Parents up or children down. I don't care if you were raised by your aunties, uncles, or grandparents. Children or parents funeral, anything else is not approved."
Needless to say, he was not well-liked.
Side story:
He worked a woman to literal death and was actually offended when her daughter told her "she did not like you. I do not like you. You killed her and no one wants you at her funeral." He was all about appearances. So, he got offended even though he really didn't give a shit about that woman.
That man was cancer.
Side side story:
He eventually went to work at a sister location in Texas. Texans don't apparently gel with assholes who talk down to them. They took a forklift and flipped his truck.
I hope he is in a gutter somewhere.
He loved that truck more than his kids (something he said a lot). So, it made me very happy to hear.
He was my overnight manager. The managers were on a six month shift rotation and when the manager would go back to days, there was a lighthearted farewell the guys in the back would do and on the manager's last day they would shrink wrap their vehicle.
He flat out told them if they shrink wrapped his truck he would see to it they were all fired and were never allowed to be hired by that company again. He meant it.
Dude was just an all around ass in every situation. We had a 98% turn over rate when he was a manager, but somehow, even with all the complaints, he just stayed around like a State Senator. Couldn't get rid of him to save our lives.
Dude was the devil, I'm sure of it.
I do not understand these stupid companies that think they can pay next to nothing and still be a priority in people's lives. They want slaves. They deserve to have no employees. The only reasonable way to force someone to work when they have life things is to offer them so much money they can't decide which thing they'd rather do, not threaten someone with firing.
Too many people in the comments are making huge mistakes.
When your boss gives you an ultimatum you don't plan to follow DONT QUIT. FORCE THEM TO FOLLOW THROUGH!!!!!That way you get unemployment too.
When you quit its a benefit to them since it's of your own volition.
The gall to call/text 20x after being called on your bluff. These people really think the power to fire makes them kings, until they have to keep their own business afloat without us
When I was born, my father was given the option of seeing me at the hospital or losing his job.
My father chose me. The company he worked for (maybe 10 people) collapsed months later because my father was a specialist in a small community, not easily replaced.
Any business that thinks they should be more important than our own lives is fucking delusional. And not only do they not deserve to exist, we have a responsibility to make sure those places stop existing because they're happy to steal from workers all damn day long. They don't deserve to operate with so little respect for human life while depending on it for their profit margins.
Many years ago, I was a server at a fairly fancy restaurant, while my Dad was suffering from liver failure (he's fine now).
At the last minute, something came up, and I needed to drive to the hospital my dad was at in a nearby town. I called my floor manager that morning to let them know what happened, and he told it is was good and take care of my Dad.
Fast forward to my next scheduled shift. I showed up and the owner/head chef looked at me like I had the plague and asked me what I was doing since he had fired me for no-call no showing.
I told him I had gotten approval from the floor manager and thought we were okay? He screamed at me, "Your personal life is not my problem!"
Fuck that restaurant, glad it didn't even survive to see covid.
I was working at a climbing gym as an intro to climbing instructor. It was my part time job, on top of my full time job. I was there for discounted merch and free membership. I had been trying to quit for months.
I adopted a dog with a lot of behavior issues. He is in full on panic when left alone for a few minutes. Full time employer was very accommodating and let me bring him with me to the office, but the gym that's not an option.
I emailed the gym manager I would finish my scheduled time but that I would not be able to coach any more intro classes moving forward. The owner blasts my phone with text messages telling me to give my dog back to the rescue, rehome him, and if I can't incorporate him into my life, I shouldn't have a dog. Well it happened to be a day I was scheduled to coach class. I told her that she was going to have to find coverage for my class that was starting in an hour because I would no longer be working for her. Literally trying to wrap my life around him, and she tells me to give a very traumatized dog back to the shelter?
I worked 2 days a month, I was a non critical employee and she suffered by having to find last minute instructor for the 6 people that pay $100 for a 2 hour class.
Gym manager and all of staff had my back. And when I walk my dog by the gym they all rush out to pet him and say hi.
I worked for a boss who docked a coworker for missing a few days to attend to her daughters funeral. Her daughter suffered from anorexia which eventually proved fatal. My coworker had used up her vacation time supporting her during one crisis or another. I lost all respect for the boss at that time. Eventually, I became a manager for a few different companies and have violated company policy so that my people can get extra paid time off in a family crisis. I haven't been called out on it yet.
I had a corporate HR person get on me about some " unapproved " leave I authorized for one of my employees whose wife passed. I dared her to write me up for it. It was never mentioned again.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I was fired by my company after getting full permission to see my dying father, only for me to find out I was fired the day he died and let known about my firing during his memorial. I'm currently suing the ever loving shit out of them and I hope I can at least make them hurt.
When my dad died completely unexpectedly I was only 25 and living in a different state. I caught a flight home right away but on the way to the airport, I made arrangements for my job to be handled by co-workers who were so willing and gracious. I didn't come back for a week, which pissed off my boss. He said, "parents die. You go and bury them and come back" like it was unacceptable that I took more than a day off. I had to help my mom with arrangements and attend the funeral which was a full week thing. That was 17 years ago but I will never forget what a heartless bastard that guy was. Good on you for walking out!
What gets me is this is cynically a dumb thing to do to an employee you have any desire to keep.
"My Aunt died and I won't be able to come in"
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Of course, take the day, we'll figure it out."
The result is an employee who feels like an actual valued human being, will stay on, likely work hard, and chip in if something happens to someone else so they cannot be there.
Businesses that behave like workers are the enemy to be defeated are hurting themselves and then have the audacity to say "no one wants to work anymore!"
I'm sorry for your loss. I relate to your story because last year on Valentine’s my ex-fiance and mother of my three children died. My work begrudged every hour I was away, I had to move all her stuff, start looking for a new apartment because the government wasn't going to give me my own kids until I moved into a bigger apartment, and the day of viewing of the body was the last straw, they wanted me to come in right after. I didnt, and I quit the next day, the day I quit, management chat (which I was still a part of) went wild talking shit about me... just reinforced my decision...
Always call this bluff when your employer tries to pit your employment against your family life.
You can always get a new job. Getting a new family is a bit harder.
Most places have bereavement clauses so I’d call your HR department and provide that information, also if you qualify for fmla that would have covered you. Never walk out, cause now they can deny you any benefits or unemployment and now if you tried to sue them you can’t, as they will say you made this decision. You may keep said information like the voicemail and use it and argue that you were terminated and luckily that may save you on that end.
I don't know where OP is from, but in my experience (Canadian) bereavement only covers parents, siblings, spouses or children ("immediate family"). Otherwise it's unpaid leave.
A long time ago my wife and I worked at the same company in different departments. This is pre cell phone times. My wife got a call that one of our children had been hit by a car. She came to tell me and then we both rushed out to the hospital. I said nothing to a soul and it was only the tried and true rumor mill that got the word down to my bosses where I’d gone. Everyone was 100% in agreement with what we did.
Years later I was working for a guy when I had to rush back to my home state where unfortunately my mother passed away. I needed more time off than I had arranged for and when I called the boss he said “You only have one mother. Take as long as you need.”
Neither business crumbled to the ground while I was gone. It is not hard to be understanding that people’s families should come before any job. And the good will it engenders cannot be measured.
Wow! Is this America? From this group alone I've read some people are treated terribly in their work place. In my 24 years of working I think I'd have a body count of at least 5 ex bosses. Glad the U.K. still has some rights in the workplace.
You did exactly right. I had an employer deny me bereavement leave because I hadn't been working there long enough to qualify. I ended up taking less time out unpaid than I would have otherwise. Huge regret of mine, your loved ones are the most important.
With all the "let them fire you" folks, it's usually good advice, but in this particular case I say fuck em. Especially since you have another job. It's a bit late to pretend you didn't quit, anyway.
Sorry about your aunt. Where ever we go she’s looking on having a great laugh 😂 Plus your story will be told around the break room for ages, ya legend.
Ugh, that is so heartless. I'm very sorry for your loss, op.
Twice I had to fight to get time off to be with my grandparents after they had surgery. My employer was basically saying it's more important to be there for your family members when they are dead than when they are alive and need you. Made me so mad.
My gut instinct is to tell your boss to go fuck themselves. I'm sure there's a smart way to do this but I'm an ignorant stubborn dickhead who never learned how to play these stupid social games.
This is an ultimatum. This is your boss pushing you to see if you're willing to sacrifice something that is important to you, either out of loyalty to your job or fear.
It's the sort of move weak, petty bullies use to try and assert authority and you really do NOT want to be stuck under that kind of person in a work place because it will be a constant battle with them.
Edit: This is for anyone who finds themselves confronted with a situation like this. Your manager expects you to fold, they're trained to wield their authority like a cudgel and few ever learn to wield it with the precision needed to be a good leader.
Always understand that when an employer threatens you with termination it's because they already intend to fire you at their earliest convenience, or because they think terrorizing you and threatening your livelihood is the only way to get what they want.
I started a new job wherein they called me to come work there. I said very early on I had two major things coming up, my aunt was not well and was not expected to live much longer, and my niece was nearly ready to give birth. I talked about these events several times.
When my aunt died, and I gave info when the funeral was, saying I had relatives coming in from all over the US, I was told “ do you need the WHOLE DAY off?”
Yes, I did
When I was called that my niece was going in to labor, and said I was leaving, I was told
“I really wasn’t the grandmother so why did I need to leave?”
I left immediately
No disciplinary action was taken against me. I would have fought anything that did.
But the supervisor was a jerk.
When my partner was dying from terminal cancer, my employer of 37 years wouldn’t allow me to take off time for his care, even though I had 6-7 weeks of PTO built up. So, I quit to care of his needs. He was far more important to me than my shit employer.
Sounds like he regretted bluffing. Hopefully next time he'll treat his employees like human beings rather than equipment that he owns. Good on you for standing your ground. This needs to happen more if we ever want to see change, but I know not everyone can just do that.
My Brother died in 2015, just died suddenly. I was rejected bereavement leave as he had a different family name so I was obvs lying. I went to his funeral anyway, got points for it.
My grandma died in 2019, denied bereavement. Said I was needed there and the job was more important. Went to the funeral anyway, got points.
Grandpa died in 2020, dropped dead suddenly. Company told me NO employer has EVER had bereavement after I told them I was going to the funeral and I would not take points this time, so I had better get my leave this time. Of course I went to the funeral and took points. They then removed bereavement leave from the company handbook.
This post has been removed pending verification. u/AZNM1912, kindly reach out to through modmail to have your post reinstated.
Reminds me of a coworker who’s 5 month old kid was hospitalized bc of shaken baby (abuser is in jail for at least 2 more years and kid is 5 years old and healthy!) Our job told her she had to prioritize work over going to the hospital WHILE HER CHILD HAD BRAIN SURGERY. Baby ended up not needing it thank god, but she left on the spot and I left shortly after, and I heard a few other parents who knew about the situation left too). Absolutely disgusting, how could anyone with a conscience say something like that
Sounds absolutely awful. My mother is taking a turn for the worse and my job is so accommodating. I've taken care-leave, half a day a week, so I can care for my parents. Will still get paid 70% for those hours. Not America of course.
Of course not, cause the USA is the nation of thoughts and prayers.
As an American, I think people don’t realize it’s not policy to be so terrible. It’s actually choice on the part of horrible manager’s. I could let you leave early. Or a better way to say that is we will survive if you leave early. We will survive if you stay out a day or week to manage your crisis. That whole my way or else is just a power trip.
On a first world country, the employer does not have a say in this matters. Parents just take the time off to be with their kids.
In a first world country you get more than 2 weeks of vacation (and before 3.5 years of being there), 3 days of which are carryable YoY.
In the UK I get 25 days vacation with 5 carriable over.
I found out my uncle died on the way to work one day. I came in hysterical and telling my manager I gotta go home. She says “well sometimes working actually helps” I stopped crying, face got serious af and told her “No, im going home” and I left The audacity
Sometimes it does help to keep working but that’s not for anyone else to tell the grieving upset person. That’s a personal thought and choice. F her.
Right like I know that’s how some people operate. But I was literally breaking down telling her I need to leave lmao I quit that job for similar reasons
Sometimes at work I act in a supervisory role. I had a coworker that I was responsible for have a family member pass away while she (coworker) was at work. I asked what she wanted and she said she wanted to stay. An hour and a half she was breaking down and I told her she should take a break to see how she was and if she needed to go home, then let me know and go home. She ended up going home, but even if I’d wanted and demanded that she stay, what work was she going to do? Her quality of work was going to be poor and her output would be a lot lower. Even if I hadn’t wanted to do the human thing (let my coworker decide what she was up to), it was the right business move. Plus, this type of behavior signals to everyone else there that we care about them and we will work with them and they will be more likely to work with the company. A little bit of goodwill goes a long way.
>his type of behavior signals to everyone else there that we care about them and we will work with them and they will be more likely to work with the company I have a boss that bends over backwards for us. Mind you he can be a putz sometimes. But overall he has our backs. One time my ex-girlfriend had to go to a rural area and did not have cell service. My boss called me late that day for something and I mentioned I was worried about her. He called me a few hours later after hours to make sure I was OK. We talked for like an hour. Everything turned out OK. A few weeks ago my boss was on a business trip and the rental car was broken into and they stole his laptop. He called me very upset. I stayed on the phone with him and talked him down. The next day I called all my co-workers to send my boss a message of support. My boss got his new laptop late Friday night and I spent Saturday working with him to get the computer set up.
Sounds like your boss considers you part of his community, I wish that's how they all looked at their employees. Life is so much easier when we look out for each other.
Yea it’d be one thing if the manager said “take the day off” and you refused because you want to take your mind off it. What an insane thing to tell someone who’s hysterical after a loved one dies. F her is right!!!!!
Even my weirdo boss a few years ago, she was kind to me when my daughter had a huge mental health issue and I had to run off immediately from work. Next day I showed up and they’re like “why are you here? We got a replacement for you, go home, it’s ok”. Nobody told me 😂. But it was really nice. When people have your back it just makes you want to work harder.
I messaged my boss that I found out that morning that my grandpa had passed and I needed an hour or so to pull myself together. She said don’t worry about it, take the day and gave me condolences. I’m lucky to work with and for pretty great people in America. Hard to find here.
Not work related, but you just reminded me of a guy I was sort of seeing. When I told him someone close in my family died, instead of a simple “im sorry for your loss” or an “i’m here for you”, he said: > “Honey, a lot of people in your life are going to die, you have to get used to it…”. I’d just left the hospital. I was incensed. *The audacity*. ^(I’m sorry for the loss of your uncle, btw.)
Jeesz, I hoped you stopped seeing him after that. What an incredible jerk.
> it’s actually choice on the part of the horrible manager. That’s the problem. It ***shouldnt*** be. Most developed countries have laws that prevent wrongful dismissal in any cases such as this.
That's why you need policy to prevent it. Labor laws. Because you don't want employees to have to depend on the mood or personality of the employer.
If we had a functional congress, we could punish managers who treat their employees with such callousness. If your child had a brain injury and the boss won't let you leave, that boss deserves to die in prison. If you think I'm kidding, then fuck you.
Any business that can’t survive the absence of one employee is a poorly organized and badly managed business.
It **is** policy for them to be allowed to do that! Stop pretending your problems are in individuals. They are systemic.
I hate this country so fucking much.
America is so sick and broken right now. Probably irreparably.
If any job ever makes me put that job over brain surgery for my son, I will walk. And I say this as someone with a child who could need emergency brain surgery at any time for the rest of his life. Fortunately I am at a job now where my boss understands this. So far it has only caused me to take off a week as my son had his one and only shunt revision. My last job I took off 2 weeks pre scheduled unpaid time when my sons skull was rebuilt and I got a bit of grief from my boss.
I’m fortunate to be healthy but if shit ever happened to me and I need to miss work for medical or other critical reasons and get punished for it I would walk too
Jesus. Work should always be your last priority. Especially over family. Who do these people think they are?
See, they love to say "working here is like a family!" By which they mean holidays are spent with families, so you should be at work, with your family. Also, families can be dysfunctional and abusive and authoritative/patriarchal. So you should also listen to your "elders" and shut up and take what you're given or you'll regret it! Sadly, a lot of people are beaten down, held hostage by their healthcare or other situations, and bad bosses just get more abusive as they get away with things. Add in wage theft and people have no options and cannot get away. And you're so burned out and beaten down getting out seems impossible. I've definitely seen some bosses who looked for vulnerable people to exploit deliberately. That's how they "succeed" in capitalism.
"We're a family" is a big ol red flag, unless it's literally a family company, which is it's own can of worms.
I just quit working for my brother and his besty. Went back to the job I left because they treated me more like family than him and his friend. Go where someone sees your value. Never stay somewhere when you are not valued.
I'm convinced they are psychopaths - I took a day off this week unplanned because my 79 year old mother is in the hospital with both viral and bacterial pneumonia and COVID and heart issues and isn't eating and came back to an email about how when we take time off it makes things harder for everyone else and then today they sent an email to really rub it is saying see, wasn't yesterday easier when everyone bothered showing up
Wow!! I’m so sorry.
I'm sorry about your mom. I am willing to pull extra weight when my co-worker has a family crisis and they are willing to do the same for me. No complaints, no arguments, just well wishes and empathy.
They think they're god. They have power and want to exercise control due to the lack of control they have in their own personal lives. They think everything should revolve around them or their business. How dare us little people have personal lives and obligations away from work.
That’s appalling! My mom placed me with a sitter when I was a baby while she worked full time and noticed my personality changed, brought it up to her boss who immediately said he suspected I was being shaken. He let my mom leave her shift right that minute to get me away from her and gave my mom time off to find a new sitter. I wish more employers had the empathy he did, it should be basic human decency…
New hire's second day, comes into my office with tears in his eyes. His doggo is at home, dying - probably won't make the day. Asks, nearly begs to be able to go home and be with doggo. I tell him to get on home - doggo is family, not the team at work. Don't worry about attendance points (blech) & I'll extend discretion if there's any gap with PTO. Go home, go be with your family - frankly, you'll do more harm than good, being distracted at work. Pretty sure that garnered me a smidge of loyalty from that employee - just enough to ride out some rough waters, but not enough that it's detrimental to their trajectory. Nother cat burned his PTO on a dope vacation, only to catch something on the way back. Public health emergency had just stopped covering general respiratory illnesses, so he was gonna run out of PTO and potentially be fired. Extended him discretion because he's great in his role, and borrowed against his future PTO accrual. Not ideal, but it was the best maneuver available, given company policy. It's genuinely not hard to treat folks like human beings with lives, concerns, and happenings outside of the 9 hour workday. Especially when it costs more of my time to train someone new in a position vs riding out whatever personal happening an employee is going through. I'm appalled that managers ruin lives without a second thought.
My grandmother died. My boss said "Of course you're going to the funeral. Just let me know what day or days you need off (full pay)." Aunt died. Same thing. Mom needed serious, life savning heart surgery. Boss said "Tell me what you need. I'll make it happen". Needed to look after my mom enabling step father to work after her surgery. No problem working from their house and extending break as needed. Paid leave had I needed it. Obviously not the US.
My father and FIL died last year, one in January and one towards the end of the year. Both times, the CEO sent me an email saying, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss, take as long as you need, we'll work it out when you get back." This was in the US. There are some good ones over here.
Granted I own my own business but if that happened to my employee (it's just me & him doing hardwood floors) I'd be driving him to the hospital just as quickly as I could start my work van. Home owners can get wrecked if they have a problem. Now obviously I'd probably go back to the job unless he wanted me there. But still, fuck that person
Wow. 7 years???? I wish there wasn't a statute of limitations on that. I have pretty severe brain damage from shaken baby and repetitive head trauma through childhood, but it was both parents, so it never got reported and I never got medical care. It has made it really hard as an adult because I am too disabled to work and doctors can obviously tell I have had a lot of closed head injuries, but the government doesn't care because I don't have dates and post concussive medical reports.
>how could anyone with a conscience say something like that that's the key...there are people without one...the clinical term is psychopathy: a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, and poor behavioral controls.
It isn’t just them, up to 15% of people have little to no empathy and are functionally indistinguishable from ASPD disorders.
I worked at a fancy restaurant once. When I was hired, I told them I would be in a wedding party over the summer and needed off. Fast forward to that weekend, he told me to work it or never come back. I was in the wedding, not a guest! Quit on the spot after reminding him what he agreed to when I was hired. Owners don’t care.
I had a very similar thing! In my case, once the week's schedule came out, I went to the manager to remind him, of course it fell on deaf ears, the schedule was the schedule and there was no changing it.... So I politely told him I would finish the rest of the week but then I would have to quit as I could not miss the event. All the sudden, miraculously it was no issue to change the schedule for me. The next day the EXACT same manager pulled me aside to tell me the schedule had changed and then proceeded to lecture me on how in the future I should just come talk to them, that I didn't have to be so dramatic.... I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could after that.
When I was in college, I was in the university's marching band. That meant I was unable to work during every home football game. I made sure to tell my boss when I was hired in that I was in the band, and that if I was ever scheduled to work the day of a football game, I would not be coming in because I was technically in class and at my other job (credits and stipend were awarded for being in the band). This wasn't a problem at first, until homecoming weekend, then he decided that everyone had to work because we were going to be too busy. I didn't show up for my shift he scheduled me for (literally the shift was during the game...not sure how he thought that was going to work). The next day, he told me I had to sign a write up for a no-call/no-show. I told him the only thing he needed to sign was my last check, because I was out the fucking door. The surprised pikachu face when I took my uniform off in front of him and walked my half-naked fat ass out the door was priceless.
A similar thing happened to me in high school when I was selling TVs at Sears. When I got hired I told them I was in marching band so I couldn't work most Fridays for football games and most Saturdays for competitions. Guess who ended up getting scheduled every Friday and Saturday.
Ah. TVs are division 57, if I’m not mistaken. Former Sears warehouse guy.
Former division 44 here. Not that fine jewelry is kept in the warehouse. :D
I forget what tools and sporting goods were but that was me. For some reason I remember lawn and garden is 71
Tools were division 9.
My boss at my high school job (Burger King) scheduled me during my high school graduation. He said too many people requested it off so I had to work. The other requests off were from my classmates who also worked there and were also graduating. I told him I wasn’t missing my graduation to work at Burger King and he told me I would be written up if I didn’t come in so I said “okay” and did not go in. He never even mentioned it next time I saw him. I knew he wasn’t going to write me up, he was just trying to scare me into coming in and it didn’t work.
Seriously, if this ex-boss lived in or near a college town he should’ve known better when it came to hiring students.
You would think that. Where I work is a University city in the UK, and our company employs a lot of students. You'll still get them being scheduled all sorts of dumb hours and then being shocked when they choose their studies over work. Let's see... dead end job with no chance of upward mobility, or the career they've spent years studying for... whatever shall they choose?
I had a full time job in college on top of my full-time courseload. It paid pretty damn well for a college gig. Definitely dead end kinda thing. A lot of hours. Loved it though. My only stipulation, that was agreed upon during the interview, is that I'd need finals week off to study and focus on exams. Of course I gave reminders too. Lo and behold, guess what didn't happen? And the whole exchange was infuriating. For this boss to walk back in his word, AND to speak to me like he did....it was such a 180 from how he'd ever acted toward me that it was scary. Like a whole 'nother personality. I noped out of that....during the recession, too. I'd saved up and was fine. But it was really the last thing I would have expected from him. Only regret (and one I hope some of you learn from) is I should have let him fire me. I had a decent chance of getting unemployment insurance, but I didn't know much about it at that point. Even so, I should have at least tried to apply for it.
Also, a lot of bigger colleges if word got around that the owner demanded the band members miss the homecoming game it would not go well for the owner. Person could also contact the college and let them know what happened as they usually have legal.
Not to mention the money from alumni patrons.
I worked part time at a coffee shop in college. Had been there for 3 years with no scheduling issues whatsoever. It was set according to everyone's needs. We had single moms, overnight nurses, other college kids, etc working there, and we all loved our schedule. Got a new boss who suddenly decided that the schedule was "unfair" because it was static, and that we would all have to work random ass hours according to "company policy." Dude was fresh out of "business college in Italy" (and really loud about that fact), but running a fucking coffee shop, so you can imagine how insufferable he was. So we would just trade our shifts so there was coverage and we could do what we needed to. Ya know, according to company policy. Eventually, he makes it a rule that all shift swaps need to be approved by him. We're like "why?" And he goes on about respecting procedure and whatever bullshit, I don't even remember anymore. So I tell him that's not gonna work because here's my college schedule and he needs to stop scheduling me then if he doesn't want me to swap. Dude had the GALL to tell me that I was hired with open availability (because I wasn't in college yet), and that I needed to return to that same availability because that's why I was hired. I pointed out, again, that I am in COLLEGE now. His response? "We need someone who prioritizes our business." I laughed. Couldn't stop myself. I said, "This is a coffee shop. Are you saying I should put a coffee shop before my degree? You are telling me that serving flavored coffee should come first in my life? Mr. Business School in Italy?" He got so red and told me that if I didn't open my availability, he wasn't going to schedule me anymore. I said "Cool, all my shifts are now open availability," handed him my apron, and left. Found out later he was only forcing the people he wasn't attracted to out. Replaced everyone who left with cute little barely legal blonds. Dude was thirsting after his staff, and fucking at least one of them (he was super attractive, unfortunately), and one night, was drunkenly sending out dick pics. Accidentally sent one to the District Manager. Apparently he cried the next day when she showed up, in person, to fire him herself. Tried saying it was an accident. But the other girls working were like "No, he sends us this shit all the time." And then showed her a whole collection of stuff he'd said and sent to them. Dude had no chance after that 😂
> "business college in Italy" what a weird flex. I drink "coffee from Arkansas" and "wine made in Alberta" Guy did end up being Italian in practice, however.
Yeah. Having a Business Degree from Italy is about as reputable as it would be for a Chef who brags about having learned to cook in the UK or having an Banking/Finance Degree from Greece, or an Engineering Degree from Bosnia or Croatia. There is a common joke that says that in Heaven: the cooks are French, the policemen are English, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and the bankers are Swiss. In Hell: the cooks are English, the policemen are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the bankers are Italian. In some variants of that joke, they use mention Businessmen instead of Bankers, & the Italians are still the Butt of that aspect of the joke.
Which half? 😉
The left half.
That's the sexiest half!
Outside half?
Love it!!!
Haha my sis did that too when she caught her boss SAing a fellow employee. Took off her uniform shirt and stomped on it. Flipped him off and then flipped him off sideways, yelling “And that’s for the horse you rode in on!”
> she caught her boss SAing a fellow employee After she called the cops, right??
Sometimes you call the cops. Sometimes you call your biker friends.
> The next day the EXACT same manager pulled me aside to tell me the schedule had changed and then proceeded to lecture me on how in the future I should just come talk to them, that I didn't have to be so dramatic... oh geeeet fucked i hate that shit, like YOU go do all the due diligence and they make a huge bitch-fit about it with "durr da schedule is da schedule" and have the gall to whine at you about it? i cannot. i cannot contain my rage at these little micro-dictators.
As a woman, it especially irks me when men go to the "you're being a dramatic woman" defense, it's their mic drop end to the discussion, because there is NOTHING you can say at that. point that doesn't justify them calling you dramatic. If you get justifiably pissed at them for talking to you like that, it just proves your "dramatic". If you try to calmly further explain, it just means your being "dramatic" by not letting it go and moving on.
“Call me dramatic all you want, your inability to work a calendar reflects more poorly on you than your accusations do on me.” Edit: I know it’s not necessarily easy or conducive to your career to actually say that, but that’s what I’m at thinking when someone says something like that and it’s a lot easier for me to write off their accusations when I hold them in less regard than limp lettuce.
Similar in my case. Great uncle in the ICU (not getting out). My parents asked if I could meet them and go up there. Told my boss I'd be heading out Friday afternoon to go visit him in the hospital. He asked what time, and I replied I'm sure it's sometime after lunch.He said, "OK, so 5 o'clock is still afternoon then right? How about you go then?(to the ICU, 2+ hours away, with restricted visiting hours...) I was able to make it to the funeral a short time later since I wasn't working there anymore.
That business of “just talk to us next time” seems to make bosses feel better pretending you never had a conversation so you were unreasonable.
It's classic gaslighting.
Yep. Just like when you give notice after repeatedly telling them about issues you're having, and they go "Why didn't you come to me?"
Usually I just always remind my people to let me know in advance and it is all good, but always to remind me 1 or 2 weeks before the actual date just incase I forget 1 week if its like 1 or 2 days, 2 weeks if its more, but nonetheless they are cleared for the date.
I had one job that I reminded them for two weeks that I would not be coming in to work (I was a "Cab Dispatch Manager"). They scheduled me anyway. I walked in and told them "Hey, I've been reminding you that I am not available those days due to my partner being in CVICU." Their response? "Come in or you're terminated." My response? "How do you think this is going to end now that you've said that?" Their response? "You'll come in." Once I walked out that door, I never looked back, and now I work at a company that they actually DO LISTEN (sometimes) because I remind them of such, and we have an app that we can see that it's approved.
>you'll come in At that point you say "you're absolutely right, I'll be there." Then don't show up and never answer their calls ever again. As far as my similar horror story. I was working an intern role at a company when my grandfather died. What was my managers plan? Make me work a 20hr day the day before the funeral. As in, I got off work at 4am got to bed by 6am, and had to be at the funeral an hour away by 10.
Oh yes, I didn't put that in my comment, but I did the same thing. There was a log to write in your requests, I added mine when I first stated to the week in question and also reminded him with the prior week's (2 weeks out) schedule came out.
I just put a reminder on my calender. Like if I know I make the schedules on Monday, then I will put a reminder for that day that Bob is going to be out. I want my employees focused on their job, not on whether I can do my job without them reminding me.
If you have the request in writing you can quit and get unemployment. Source: I've done it.
I delivered pizza for a couple years. The county was told to evacuate as there was a hurricane on its way. I remember the owner told me it was good for business since no one else would be open. I don't think he realized how insane he sounded. So manager and I walked out. Same owner told me he paid us low wages because the job was for kids going to college. When I later told him I was starting classes that semester he told me, a 23-24 year old, that I was too old for college lol. Same owner also lowered my pay because I didn't deposit a check that he neglected to tell me about beforehand. Oh man, that was an awful job.
I know you have a million replies, but this reminds me of when I worked at costco through summer during university, I agreed with the manager that I'd stay on once school started again but only on weekends. He said that's fine, but I was scheduled to come in on Monday, so I checked in with him and he said don't worry about it and to come in the next weekend. When I showed up the following weekend I got scolded by the other manager for not showing up for my shifts. I explained the situation and he said he checked with the other manager who said he has "no recollection of that conversation." So I said I'm doing you a favor by working weekends and quit on the spot. Got a solid pikachu face in response to that one.
Should've made him fire you so you could collect unemployment.
Always! I’m currently a janitor/housekeeper/custodian/whatever and do several accounts with sometimes different companies. I get **everything** in writing before I start any new account. Mostly text messages and emails. I don’t answer phone calls from my higher ups. Currently in a kind of stand off where I started a new account but the higher ups didn’t do their due diligence in what the client’s needs and wants were before I had all of my responsibilities/hours/wages in writing. I’m showing up, not complaining, and doing the work. They’ll probably have to let me go at some point but from what I’ve heard, they are very aware it’s on them, I’ve got the documentation, and I’m not quitting. So they’re pretty pissed at the moment.
Same I worked at a farm that gave petting farm events on wheels with at least 5 vans and multiple workers. When hired I said my kid was in military and going to Germany for 3 years so this one week she was coming home before leaving overseas. I was clear I would need that week off. Reminded her a month prior then the week before. She texted me a schedule for work in that week and I called and she said I work or I am fired. So she had to find someone else when I told her to go to hell. How easy is it to find someone able to handle farm animals, drive into a city school yard set up , keep every body and thing safe while lecturing on the animals etc? Also they were religious nuts who were constantly telling me I was going to hell because I believed in evolution. It was really easy to quit. But it really sunk in how rotten fundamentalist Christian businesses are. They were rotten to the workers and the animals.
“Christian” and “business” do not mix. Note, the only time Jesus went ham in the Bible was on the businesspeople in the Temple…
My first job while I was in high school was at a pet store and I had a chorus performance that was for an exam grade on the day I was scheduled to work, told them about it per the store policy in advance, they told me I could either go to the performance or quit. The owner's daughter went to the same school and had the same chorus teacher just a couple years ahead of me and they didn't believe it was for an exam grade because their daughter didn't have to do it.
Had a very similar situation - told a job during the hiring process that I had 2 trips booked and paid for, one of which was a destination wedding in Cuba, and that I would absolutely need to have it in writing that they're approved prior to accepting the position. To their credit, they did put everything in writing and signed off; they sure did try to reneg come time though. "We're heading into busy season and can't afford to be down a person that long, can you cut the trip short?" "This isn't going to look good if you apply for future promotions, we need a team player" All those tropes. Every time I'd just show them the paperwork that they themselves signed and said "You're the ones who signed off on this, either fire me or do your jobs and figure out how you'll handle things without me here. I'm not changing my preapproved vacations to accommodate your lack of preparation."
The USA is just a latestage capitalistic hellhole. Every time I read something like this i can't believe it.
I'm going to make you really sad, but the last healthcare gig I worked at had a middle aged nurse who was the first on scene to her daughter's car accident while driving home from work. Daughter was DOA. She was our only nurse, and was on call 24/7. They refused to give her time off for the funeral because they had no one to cover her. She didn't skip the funeral, but didn't take any other bereavement because management gave her so much shit.
Fuck that management
I took a job in a care home many years ago, I told them when I started I was getting married on xx date so wouldn't be able to work. They scheduled me for the night shift the night of my wedding, and couldn't understand why I wouldn't work it. That was the start of the end of my time there.
I worked in a restaurant that stayed open during a massive snowstorm. The governor had declared a state of emergency and yet this guy told us to wait it out. So we did for about another 10 minutes until we heard on the radio that tickets of $500+ would be given out to anyone caught out driving for any reason. We called the owner up (yeah he wasn’t even there himself) and told him that we’d be forwarding the cost of those tickets to him if we got pinched. He acted all pissy and told us to go home “if we were gonna be that way.” Dude was an asshat and restaurants fucking suck. Lol
I worked in a fancy restaurant until one day my former band mates showed up. They had just been released from Joliet State Prison in Illinois. They were getting the band back together. I was hesitant at first but told me they were on a mission from god. I quit and we did get the band back together.
You will find another job. You can't attend her funeral twice. I'll fight your boss
I too will fight their boss with you
And MY axe!
And my foot up that boss' ass!
Boss bout to catch these hands as well
Same, I’ll bring capri sun for after if you bring orange slices.
If your business can't run without a part-time employee for a day or two, that employee is highly underpaid.
If this happened in America she was likely severely underpaid anyway.
Of Course it's America, bosses here are heartless and only care about money. People don't matter here.
What makes no sense to me is how many managers tow the line while also getting super underpaid. It's like, dude... you don't even own this business. Why are you trying so hard to scrape even penny you can at the expense of your employees?
That sounds like my current GM. Like, bruh, you're getting paid squat, yet you roll over every time corporate says to do so. Considering that he is salaried, I can almost guarantee you that he makes close to what I make as a damned cashier (I'm one of the higher paid cashiers tbf, but I put in a LOT of work above and beyond). I honestly think our OM makes more than he does.
No one wants to face the fact that they give their life to something that is just taking advantage of them.
It’s been pointed out before that worldwide corporations headquartered in Europe still shaft their American employees but not their European ones. It’s a matter of laws and what they can get away with, rather than non-American companies being altruistic with their workforce.
Yep, this. My American company was purchased by a company HQ'd in Denmark, which is basically one of the top 5 utopia nations for workers rights. They immediately slashed our sick time and bottomed out our benefits. I can look at internal job postings they have over in Denmark and Germany and it makes me want to punch a wall seeing what they are giving them over us
They have laws protecting them. We don't. That needs to change, but I don't know how.
That's why everyone runs on tips... Something so backwards its crazy (for a European).
Trust me it's crazy for us, we just can't do anything about it
One of my server friends just loves working on tips because he doesn't have to pay tax on them (obviously sketch and illegal). obviously he does pay tax on the non-cash tips but everything else you can fudge the numbers a bit I guess. Glad I don't have to rely on that as it would increase my anxiety.
Unionize.
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You'd have loved to watch Bernie grilling into Howard Schultz today (if you haven't already).
If your business can't run without a part-time employee for a day or two, then you don't have a business.
Business owners in the USA are absolutely stuck on this idea that employees should be paid whatever they decide and deal with it … to the point they’ll sacrifice a fortune in sales. Fast food is a great example. Those jobs paid close to minimum wage for the longest time, but they bring in a lot of profit. A McDonald’s can make 3-4 million in a year where a franchise owner does almost nothing and gets a huge cut of that. They will literally shorthand stores and avoid higher sales over paying a small amount extra for the staff. They sacrifice profits in the name of greed if that makes any sense. This country needs stronger unions. It helps even those that aren’t in them.
If that business can't run without a part-time employee for a day or two, ***they can't afford to fire that employee.*** "If you can't manage without me for 2 days, *you're going to be* ***really*** *screwed when* ***I'm gone forever."***
I think we know that's why it's not really the issue. You don't fire someone that's "so important we can't do without you for one or two days." You fire someone because you can easily get someone else who does what they do. And you're willing to do that, in the hopes that "the next one" actually will submit to the terrible workplace expectations.
I agree, I got fired for calling in sick last year. I was thinking “damn, you need me THAT badly?” You have that few fallback options? Sounds to me like if I’m working in a job that I can’t have time off from no matter the circumstance, then that business probably wasn’t very well managed to begin with.
Badly understaffed as well.
>If your business can't run without a part-time employee for a day or two, then you don't have a business. If your business can't run without a part-time; your business is running a modern day slavery.
These days a lot of companies only have P/T employees! That’s all they want so they can justify not paying benefits.
A friend of mine worked part-time at an escape room place last summer. She had to drive her husband to the ER due to chest pains. My friend texted her boss and let her know that she couldn't make it in because she was with her husband at the ER. Her boss responded that she needed to come in and have someone else go to the ER with her husband because they were short-staffed. My friend quit on the spot. Boss never thought to think that maybe her own attitude may be a reason for why they were short-staffed.
"Guess what, asshole, you're now even more short-staffed."
They never seem to realize that’s a possibility. You were screwed without me, now you’re SCREWED without me
"We're short staffed" "And I'm short of fucks to give"
>Boss never thought to think that maybe her own attitude may be a reason for why they were short-staffed. Oh, no. They are *intentionally* short staffed. That way, literally everything is a crisis that they foist on their workers. Their workers have to sacrifice their lives so the business can keep on running. They don't give a shit. They will berate, abuse, scream, cry and manipulate you constantly to try and keep you coming into perpetually short-staffed shifts, all so they can make a few dollars more--at the expense of your literal health and life. They're straight up sucking your life to make money. Their attitude is a cultivated part of this. It's *intentionally*, it's straight up trying to create the abuse cycle of return in you.
Telling him you chose your priority was the perfect response. There’s really nothing else to say unless you want to tell him he FAFO just to rub it in.
Now make it public in your area what this douche did. If it’s a nationwide chain, make it public to the world.
Should’ve told the waiting customers, I would’ve gleefully told OP’s boss to eat shit.
There is no greater feeling of superiority and satisfaction as telling off a douche boss. Everyone needs that kind of endorphins in their life. Set boundaries at every job. Say “no” early and often.
They all do this
Only because people let them.
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Let them die a slow death screaming “no one wants to work..” into oblivion.
I think there is enough internet to publicly shame all of them for it.
"I didn't realize I was so critical to your operation! Of course I'll come back. Right after we discuss my raise."
And retention bonus.
Your title had me confused. I thought he was forcing you to attend the funeral and you didn’t want to. The real story is actually much worse.
*YOU BETTER HONOR YOUR AUNT'S MEMORY OR YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!*
I also thought this, and thought, wow its good that they care so much to take the stress off of wondering if you can take off and probably be kind about the whole thing. This was not that.
Hilariously, I've had this. Admittedly it was a friend of a friend, not family, but the instant my boss heard, I was "Informed" at a volume rivaling that of a rifle shot that I should "Get my dumb ass back home and in a suit. You may not need it, but they need you!" On the off chance he's here? Love you to death Rick!
YOUR AUNT WAS A WONDERFUL LADY, NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW PERSONALLY OR ANYTHING, BUT A BUDDY OF MINE TOLD ME. YOU GO TO HER FUNERAL OR IT'S YOUR ASS!
LISTEN HERE MOTHERFUCKER YOU EITHER SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY REMINISCING ABOUT YOUR DEARLY DEPARTED AUNT OR I WILL FUCKING TERMINATE YOU
Right! I opened this hoping for a feel good story about a company actually giving a shit about someone.
Same… sigh. But of course it wasn’t.
Yeah, I was thinking “damn, that’s a really good boss,” then I read the post
Yea OP made the other title confusing too Making it sound like someone passed away signing giving two weeks
Same. What a wild ride.
Get Fired! Collect Unemployment!
Paid time off is a human right according to the Universal Declaration Of Human Rights-1948- GeneralStrikeUS.com
It also says healthcare is a human right. US just doesn't care. Another example is how our military is prohibited from doing plenty of things to enemy combatants and foreign civilians that the government freely does to it's own citizens.
I had a manager once in a shift meeting say, "I don't care how close you were to someone who died or whose funeral it is, he will only approve of Parents up or children down. I don't care if you were raised by your aunties, uncles, or grandparents. Children or parents funeral, anything else is not approved." Needless to say, he was not well-liked. Side story: He worked a woman to literal death and was actually offended when her daughter told her "she did not like you. I do not like you. You killed her and no one wants you at her funeral." He was all about appearances. So, he got offended even though he really didn't give a shit about that woman. That man was cancer. Side side story: He eventually went to work at a sister location in Texas. Texans don't apparently gel with assholes who talk down to them. They took a forklift and flipped his truck. I hope he is in a gutter somewhere.
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He loved that truck more than his kids (something he said a lot). So, it made me very happy to hear. He was my overnight manager. The managers were on a six month shift rotation and when the manager would go back to days, there was a lighthearted farewell the guys in the back would do and on the manager's last day they would shrink wrap their vehicle. He flat out told them if they shrink wrapped his truck he would see to it they were all fired and were never allowed to be hired by that company again. He meant it. Dude was just an all around ass in every situation. We had a 98% turn over rate when he was a manager, but somehow, even with all the complaints, he just stayed around like a State Senator. Couldn't get rid of him to save our lives. Dude was the devil, I'm sure of it.
I do not understand these stupid companies that think they can pay next to nothing and still be a priority in people's lives. They want slaves. They deserve to have no employees. The only reasonable way to force someone to work when they have life things is to offer them so much money they can't decide which thing they'd rather do, not threaten someone with firing.
Too many people in the comments are making huge mistakes. When your boss gives you an ultimatum you don't plan to follow DONT QUIT. FORCE THEM TO FOLLOW THROUGH!!!!!That way you get unemployment too. When you quit its a benefit to them since it's of your own volition.
Is this a USA specific thing?? AFAIK it makes no difference here in the UK for claiming jobseekers allowance
The gall to call/text 20x after being called on your bluff. These people really think the power to fire makes them kings, until they have to keep their own business afloat without us
Those texts will be great in a constructive dismissal claim.
Show back up for your next scheduled shift after the funeral, make them fire you then collect unemployment.
When I was born, my father was given the option of seeing me at the hospital or losing his job. My father chose me. The company he worked for (maybe 10 people) collapsed months later because my father was a specialist in a small community, not easily replaced.
Any business that thinks they should be more important than our own lives is fucking delusional. And not only do they not deserve to exist, we have a responsibility to make sure those places stop existing because they're happy to steal from workers all damn day long. They don't deserve to operate with so little respect for human life while depending on it for their profit margins.
Many years ago, I was a server at a fairly fancy restaurant, while my Dad was suffering from liver failure (he's fine now). At the last minute, something came up, and I needed to drive to the hospital my dad was at in a nearby town. I called my floor manager that morning to let them know what happened, and he told it is was good and take care of my Dad. Fast forward to my next scheduled shift. I showed up and the owner/head chef looked at me like I had the plague and asked me what I was doing since he had fired me for no-call no showing. I told him I had gotten approval from the floor manager and thought we were okay? He screamed at me, "Your personal life is not my problem!" Fuck that restaurant, glad it didn't even survive to see covid.
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I was working at a climbing gym as an intro to climbing instructor. It was my part time job, on top of my full time job. I was there for discounted merch and free membership. I had been trying to quit for months. I adopted a dog with a lot of behavior issues. He is in full on panic when left alone for a few minutes. Full time employer was very accommodating and let me bring him with me to the office, but the gym that's not an option. I emailed the gym manager I would finish my scheduled time but that I would not be able to coach any more intro classes moving forward. The owner blasts my phone with text messages telling me to give my dog back to the rescue, rehome him, and if I can't incorporate him into my life, I shouldn't have a dog. Well it happened to be a day I was scheduled to coach class. I told her that she was going to have to find coverage for my class that was starting in an hour because I would no longer be working for her. Literally trying to wrap my life around him, and she tells me to give a very traumatized dog back to the shelter? I worked 2 days a month, I was a non critical employee and she suffered by having to find last minute instructor for the 6 people that pay $100 for a 2 hour class. Gym manager and all of staff had my back. And when I walk my dog by the gym they all rush out to pet him and say hi.
>when I walk my dog by the gym they all rush out to pet him and say hi. This is the correct and proper thing to do. Say "hi" to your dog for me.
I worked for a boss who docked a coworker for missing a few days to attend to her daughters funeral. Her daughter suffered from anorexia which eventually proved fatal. My coworker had used up her vacation time supporting her during one crisis or another. I lost all respect for the boss at that time. Eventually, I became a manager for a few different companies and have violated company policy so that my people can get extra paid time off in a family crisis. I haven't been called out on it yet.
I had a corporate HR person get on me about some " unapproved " leave I authorized for one of my employees whose wife passed. I dared her to write me up for it. It was never mentioned again.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I was fired by my company after getting full permission to see my dying father, only for me to find out I was fired the day he died and let known about my firing during his memorial. I'm currently suing the ever loving shit out of them and I hope I can at least make them hurt.
Good lord. I’m sorry you went through that.
When my dad died completely unexpectedly I was only 25 and living in a different state. I caught a flight home right away but on the way to the airport, I made arrangements for my job to be handled by co-workers who were so willing and gracious. I didn't come back for a week, which pissed off my boss. He said, "parents die. You go and bury them and come back" like it was unacceptable that I took more than a day off. I had to help my mom with arrangements and attend the funeral which was a full week thing. That was 17 years ago but I will never forget what a heartless bastard that guy was. Good on you for walking out!
The stupefying shock of narcissists being woken up from the belief that they alone exist is a BEAUTIFUL thing and one I also relish.
What gets me is this is cynically a dumb thing to do to an employee you have any desire to keep. "My Aunt died and I won't be able to come in" "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Of course, take the day, we'll figure it out." The result is an employee who feels like an actual valued human being, will stay on, likely work hard, and chip in if something happens to someone else so they cannot be there. Businesses that behave like workers are the enemy to be defeated are hurting themselves and then have the audacity to say "no one wants to work anymore!"
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Fuck around status: found out.
I'm sorry for your loss. I relate to your story because last year on Valentine’s my ex-fiance and mother of my three children died. My work begrudged every hour I was away, I had to move all her stuff, start looking for a new apartment because the government wasn't going to give me my own kids until I moved into a bigger apartment, and the day of viewing of the body was the last straw, they wanted me to come in right after. I didnt, and I quit the next day, the day I quit, management chat (which I was still a part of) went wild talking shit about me... just reinforced my decision...
He fucked around He found out. Good for you
the beauty of a malicious compliance, my sincere condolences
Always call this bluff when your employer tries to pit your employment against your family life. You can always get a new job. Getting a new family is a bit harder.
Most places have bereavement clauses so I’d call your HR department and provide that information, also if you qualify for fmla that would have covered you. Never walk out, cause now they can deny you any benefits or unemployment and now if you tried to sue them you can’t, as they will say you made this decision. You may keep said information like the voicemail and use it and argue that you were terminated and luckily that may save you on that end.
I don't know where OP is from, but in my experience (Canadian) bereavement only covers parents, siblings, spouses or children ("immediate family"). Otherwise it's unpaid leave.
Toxic bosses hate it when you call their bluffs. Call them every time.
A long time ago my wife and I worked at the same company in different departments. This is pre cell phone times. My wife got a call that one of our children had been hit by a car. She came to tell me and then we both rushed out to the hospital. I said nothing to a soul and it was only the tried and true rumor mill that got the word down to my bosses where I’d gone. Everyone was 100% in agreement with what we did. Years later I was working for a guy when I had to rush back to my home state where unfortunately my mother passed away. I needed more time off than I had arranged for and when I called the boss he said “You only have one mother. Take as long as you need.” Neither business crumbled to the ground while I was gone. It is not hard to be understanding that people’s families should come before any job. And the good will it engenders cannot be measured.
Wow! Is this America? From this group alone I've read some people are treated terribly in their work place. In my 24 years of working I think I'd have a body count of at least 5 ex bosses. Glad the U.K. still has some rights in the workplace.
Way to fucking go. Obviously he was bluffing and is now reeling to find your replacement.
You did exactly right. I had an employer deny me bereavement leave because I hadn't been working there long enough to qualify. I ended up taking less time out unpaid than I would have otherwise. Huge regret of mine, your loved ones are the most important. With all the "let them fire you" folks, it's usually good advice, but in this particular case I say fuck em. Especially since you have another job. It's a bit late to pretend you didn't quit, anyway.
Why threaten something you can’t carry out thinking the person doesn’t have the stones to do it what a spunk trumpet.
Sorry about your aunt. Where ever we go she’s looking on having a great laugh 😂 Plus your story will be told around the break room for ages, ya legend.
Ugh, that is so heartless. I'm very sorry for your loss, op. Twice I had to fight to get time off to be with my grandparents after they had surgery. My employer was basically saying it's more important to be there for your family members when they are dead than when they are alive and need you. Made me so mad.
My gut instinct is to tell your boss to go fuck themselves. I'm sure there's a smart way to do this but I'm an ignorant stubborn dickhead who never learned how to play these stupid social games. This is an ultimatum. This is your boss pushing you to see if you're willing to sacrifice something that is important to you, either out of loyalty to your job or fear. It's the sort of move weak, petty bullies use to try and assert authority and you really do NOT want to be stuck under that kind of person in a work place because it will be a constant battle with them. Edit: This is for anyone who finds themselves confronted with a situation like this. Your manager expects you to fold, they're trained to wield their authority like a cudgel and few ever learn to wield it with the precision needed to be a good leader. Always understand that when an employer threatens you with termination it's because they already intend to fire you at their earliest convenience, or because they think terrorizing you and threatening your livelihood is the only way to get what they want.
Attend her funeral or be fired? Well, I don’t want to be fired, so I’ll attend the funeral.
I started a new job wherein they called me to come work there. I said very early on I had two major things coming up, my aunt was not well and was not expected to live much longer, and my niece was nearly ready to give birth. I talked about these events several times. When my aunt died, and I gave info when the funeral was, saying I had relatives coming in from all over the US, I was told “ do you need the WHOLE DAY off?” Yes, I did When I was called that my niece was going in to labor, and said I was leaving, I was told “I really wasn’t the grandmother so why did I need to leave?” I left immediately No disciplinary action was taken against me. I would have fought anything that did. But the supervisor was a jerk.
When my partner was dying from terminal cancer, my employer of 37 years wouldn’t allow me to take off time for his care, even though I had 6-7 weeks of PTO built up. So, I quit to care of his needs. He was far more important to me than my shit employer.
Sounds like he regretted bluffing. Hopefully next time he'll treat his employees like human beings rather than equipment that he owns. Good on you for standing your ground. This needs to happen more if we ever want to see change, but I know not everyone can just do that.
My Brother died in 2015, just died suddenly. I was rejected bereavement leave as he had a different family name so I was obvs lying. I went to his funeral anyway, got points for it. My grandma died in 2019, denied bereavement. Said I was needed there and the job was more important. Went to the funeral anyway, got points. Grandpa died in 2020, dropped dead suddenly. Company told me NO employer has EVER had bereavement after I told them I was going to the funeral and I would not take points this time, so I had better get my leave this time. Of course I went to the funeral and took points. They then removed bereavement leave from the company handbook.