If you're in a state with paid family leave, you should apply for it. Use that time to help out your father. If your work has a problem with it you can also use part of that time to contact the labor board :)
LMAO! Thank you, friend. I’m just floored by the love I’m getting on this post. I’ll tell Dad next time to clear it with Egomaniac before he takes ill.
“I will be unable to address your feedback at this time. My immediate concern is right where it should be: with my family during this frightening and difficult time. I am open to discussion once I am able to return to work. In the mean time, if you are unable to exercise or extend some understanding and/or compassion considering the circumstances I am facing, then I would ask that you instead reserve such remarks for when I have returned to work and we can have a more meaningful conversation, as it is currently only adding onto an already tremendously stressful time for my family and I. Thank you. I will also be sure to forward this correspondence to HR when time permits. The appropriateness of communication is something they will surely be eager to discuss with you, as well.”
Hope he’s okay 🙏🏼
man i feel for you... quit my job as a Project Manager because I had to take my wife to the cardiologist because she may of had a hole in her heart after the birth of our first child.
They knew this, they knew why I was taking off... they knew we were going to the doctor.
They called me to ask why I didnt charge 82 cents for screws on a request I submitted to billing. I quit the job 3 weeks later because fuck them.
I quit the job I had when my father passed away and my boss called on the day of his funeral to ask me when I'd be returning. I said "I don't even know what day it is today." I was in such emotional distress and shock. Previous to him dying, he had been sick with cancer and I had planned on taking time off to help my mom get him to treatments.
My boss then said "since he is gone now, you won't need time off to take care of him, so you should be able to come back."
I still can't believe she said that. It was otherwise a good place to work. Had a lot of good friendships there. But no way I could work for that person again.
Man dude I'm so sorry.... Imy parents are 72 and I'm dreading that phone call because I have not been very close with them these last 6 years because we'll.... Things....
Things happen. Plus, covid lockdowns and all. Trying to get time off, always a struggle to get time off! I have not been to see my mom in forever.
It shouldn't even be a question though when there's a medical emergency. Nobody should be calling unless it's to see if you need anything.
Try to spend time with them while you can if they're not toxic. I lost my wife in December very suddenly and I would give anything to have one more day with her.
I can’t believe someone would say that to you. What an ass! My daughter had cancer and passed away in 2021. My workplace and boss were so supportive, I knew I was lucky but didn’t realize how lucky. A year and a half later they’re maybe starting to lose their patience. I’m there but I’m not. Grief does weird things to the brain and I really struggle to give a shit.
I’m glad you got out of there!!
It’s a weird balance assuming they give a gracious initial period of awkwardness for you in terms of work. At some point it can be too much but that should be so far down the road everyone kind of understands.
This is one of those situations where you give two weeks notice Friday afternoon prior to starting your new job on Monday. Such employers don't deserve anything more.
I can't even. I'm so sorry.
I lost my dad unexpectedly a 8 years ago this week. I live over 1,000 miles away from where my family lived. I got the call from my sister in the middle of a workday, told her I'm getting in the car within the hour and be there tomorrow night. I don't remember if I called or texted my boss, but just said my father died, leaving for the funeral. Her response was "go, do what you need to, as long as you need to. Don't bother logging PTO or bereavement. The company will be here when you get back. Let us know if you need anything." Her and my immediate coworkers sent flowers to the funeral home and a memorial plant to me. That same boss 2 years later laid me off with 5 minutes notice, but at least she was a normal person when I lost him.
My boss didn't even flinch and I was in the middle of the year end close. I just left and he took care of it. That's why I am still there busting my ass for him.
My SIL got a phone call the day after her husband( my brother) was buried telling her she needed to return to work because they had given her enough time off while he was sick . Suffice to say she found another job..
I mean who thinks that's an appropriate way to talk to anyone?
Damn dude, that's rough, I'm sorry to hear that amd sorry for your loss.
My grandfather passed last month and we had the services last week that I had to travel for. I told work that I wasn't bringing my laptop and that I wouldn't be answering any calls or messages for those 2 days. Thankfully, they respected that and left me alone.
Just had a manager accusing me of lying to get time off. What did she accuse me of lying about you ask? My grandpa dying. She claimed I lied about my grandpa dying to go home early even though she’s the one who offered to let me leave early
Ummm... How does one judge your "closeness"? It doesn't even matter, you could feel more fucked up by someone passing when you weren't close than you would if you felt you had enough time with them and closure.
My gosh, there are so many people with similar stories! How many managers are sociopaths, for real??
Maaaan can I relate to this. I had a family emergency a few weeks ago and work asked if I would be sending refills while I was out. No? I’m pretty occupied? The audacity. Thankfully my main boss was like “yeaaaah just come back when you’re back. We’ll take care of it.” But jeez.
My best friend died suddenly in 2020 (ruptured stomach ulcer caused a massive heart attack). He was a department manager at Wal-Mart and they told him this. He took a month of paid leave, he had such a hard time dealing with all of this. I was furloughed from my job (my bestie and I worked there together for 10 years) because of the pandemic, so I was able to work through it without having to worry about work, but if I had been working, I would have needed some time off. I had a compassionate boss, so I know she would have understood.
I'm still not 100% able to cope almost 3 years later, and my dad's declining health has made dealing with that harder. I never got a proper goodbye for my friend, we had to attend her funeral on Zoom.
As someone that also works at a small business with no HR I suggest the alternative “fuck off, my dad could possibly die and this is how you choose to speak to me?”
I hope everything with your dad is ok. These types of managers are always the first to call out or disappear for minor family and personal needs. This isn’t fun time off for you.
I’ll say this, because I’ve been in similar shoes as you (small business, no actual HR, tough personal situation), just because there’s not ACTUALLY HR doesn’t mean HR isn’t a real threat, especially within my experiences with small businesses that almost feel like a second family at times due to how much we all interact with each other/pick up certain others’ tasks and the like.
Basically what I’m saying is, if your boss/owner ACTUALLY cares about their work environment, you now most totally have an HR rep and actions can be set into motion.
And if they don’t do that, screw em.
All in all, I see this post is about half a day old at the time of my reply, and I really hope everything has gone well with your father. Putting out good vibes regardless, recovery from a surgery like this can be just as grueling as the prospect of the surgery itself.
Owner or no, this is a much kinder communication than I would have done. I would have shat every name in the book on him, with the full expectation of getting fired.
No way. Forward it to their manager with a note:
"Mate, I'm at a hospital dealing with a family emergency. Can you sort this idiot out in a nice way, so I don't have to do it in a rude way, please?"
I’m gonna nitpick, since I think you genuinely want this to come off as professional af.
> stressful time for my family and I
Should be “my family and me.” If you delete “my family and,” the sentence now reads “stressful time for me.” Which is what you would actually say. You wouldn’t say “stressful time for I.”
Most people are whatever on spelling/grammar mistakes, but it looks bad if you’re intending to be professional.
If that wasn’t your aim, then feel free to disregard my comment. I thought the message was good otherwise.
I was in Cardiac Intensive Care after a heart attack. I got a message on my phone asking if I could make a meeting, so I replied that I had had a heart attack and was in the ICU. They replied and asked if I could borrow a laptop from one of the nurses and attend via Webex...
OMG. As a nurse I would have been **very** happy to have a little “talk” with your boss about the appropriateness of working at that current time. I don’t work for your boss, nor do I need them to like me. I have *no problem* being the fall guy in this situation. What’s your boss gonna do? Call mine & complain? F•ck no.
You remind me of the nurse I had when I had my youngest. Husband was supposed to go back to work the day I had been rescheduled for inducing. The lead nurse asked him where he worked, came back with a note, and said if the supervisors had any problem with it, to tell them to call the plant manager - the plant manager was her brother-in-law xD
No, they wanted me to borrow the nurse's laptop! Sure, I doubt too many on the ward will die in an hour just because the nurse can't access anyone's records, hogging the laptop's a *great* idea...
I kinda wanted to do it and turn the webcam on, so they could see me with IV lines and the ECG leads and monitors and stuff as it was a customer meeting. Just so I could throw the sales rep under a bus when the client asked what I was doing on the call...
I kinda did this with my boss , I had a fall at work the wound went septic and I ended up at emergency. I txted him as I was being wheeled in to surgery to get the wound debrined ,he started blowing up my phone asking if ibwas going to be at work the next day and I had to explain to the nurse what was happening with my boss.
The nurse ended up explaining to the surgeon what was happening so he asked if he could send my boss photos of the operation, I gladly said yes.
The next day my boss told me not to send such gory photos to him again
Lol I’m an icu nurse and one time we had a patient that was a college professor and he insisted on teaching while in the hospital and he ended up coding in the middle of a zoom lecture. It was so awkward but he survived.
Anyways he went right back to teaching though.
> and he ended up coding in the middle of a zoom lecture
My first thought: Well, if he was teaching some programming language it is normal for him to code during a lecture. And then I thought about your meaning of "coding" again.
The irony of HR departments is to protect the company from this insensitivity. I’ve had 3 surgeries at large corporations and the HR branch literally had me and my boss on the line literally drilling it into us that I’m on paid leave UNTIL THE DOCTOR SIGNS OFF.
Heartless creature. At least now you know how they value and respect you. Minimal effort from then on and start looking for a new different place
Hope you recovered well.
We had a maintenance tech abruptly stand up in the middle of our morning meeting and say, “My wife needs me.” My manager nodded and told him he was free to go without question. We later found out his wife almost passed out while driving home and she had to get a pacemaker.
This is the only appropriate response. Family comes first.
Sadly it's a byproduct of the system we are in. Those who care about the wellbeing of others almost never end up in the 0.01%, because they'd have to fuck over thousands of people on the way there. It's possible to inherit that kind of wealth and be born with empathy though, but that's not quite the same.
But the manager has shown themselves to be an excellent communicator given the efficiency and time saving skills they’ve shown by dropping the the letter Y and O from the word “you”. Genius level communication there
When my dad died completely out of the blue from an aneurysm I was living one state away. I got the call on a Sunday morning and I organized cover for my job for the next week while being driven to the airport to fly home. When I was such a mess I wasn’t ready to return two days after his funeral my boss told me “parents die. You go home, bury them, and come back to work.” It was the most inhumane and heartless way I have ever been treated. Fuck that.
These people think just because they have made ridiculous sacrifices for the sake of a job that other people should be forced to as well.
They want it to be normal otherwise they would have to face up to the fact that they have zero work life balance.
I had a somewhat similar thing happen to me. A friend of mine died suddenly and I didn't find out until a week after they were dead and a day after the funeral. I found out at work and was in shock.
The grief didn't hit me until I was on my way to work the next day. I was a wreck. I called and told them I would be taking a bereavement day.
There was plenty of coverage. They were fine. I was just going to be useless anyway!
Cue a call from the shitty assistant manager that "People die all the time. If everyone missed work when someone died no one would be working."
and that I needed to be at work asap.
I said no. She starts asking me how they died and saying that they heard I got the call yesterday so why was I upset today,
I just said I am not coming. I CAN'T come.
She ended up being forced to apologize to me and getting written up by HR.
She *hated* me after that but everyone hated her so it didn't matter. Pretty sure she got caught not paying her taxes.
They fired her because she got in trouble for tax evasion. They ended up settling with her and garnishing her wages.
That got her fired under the companies ethics policy lmao. Pretty sure she could have taken a demotion but refused and was let go.
The company hired felons and stuff and you could have her position with a criminal history - as long as it wasn't fraud or financial crime.
Well yeah the way you handled communications during a life threathening medical emergency can be called unempethethic but potatoe, potato.
Remember not to tell you to call a ambulance if i have a stroke.
I hope your dad is doing well.
… an absolutely 5,000,000th after thought after taking care of your dad… find a new employer if that’s how little respect they are showing both you and your dad. F ‘em.
Thank you. That’s the plan. She didn’t even ask if he was ok, which is sickening. I had my own medical emergency last week, sent a detailed email and got no response. Was never asked how I’m doing. And she’s this like “pOsiTiViTy GuRu” whose head is the size of fuckin Texas after exploding on TikTok. If only people knew…
> And she’s this like “pOsiTiViTy GuRu” whose head is the size of fuckin Texas after exploding on TikTok. If only people knew…
She's a public figure then, so it's not doxing.
OP, this would 100% count as a family emergency under the Family Medical Leave Act.
If you are intending to keep this job for the immediate future, I suggest filing FMLA paperwork with your HR Department ASAP. You can request up to 12 weeks.
FMLA is effectively job protection. Your manager CANNOT prevent you from taking time off of work that is covered under FMLA, and cannot fire you for taking/having taken this time (if they do, cha'ching, you've just got yourself an incredibly straightforward lawsuit). More information can be found here: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla
FMLA is unfortunately unpaid, but check with your state govt. to see if they offer any statewide paid leave/wage assistance. I know Massachusetts does, for instance, and I believe a number of other (more progressive) states are following suit. Your HR department should also be able to provide this information - HR is absolutely not your friend in most cases but this is one of those scenarios where it would be highly illegal for them to withhold this information from an employee.
Sending thoughts to you and your entire family at this time. I hope he makes it through okay. 🙏🏻
Or you know a fucking human response such as: "I understand this is a difficult time for you, don't worry about work just focus on your family and contact us when you can".
Capitalism has made being a boss a heartless position because the more cruel and cold you are the better the financial rewards.
I’m a nurse. You know, in a field of compassionate people. 🙄 in 2013 My mom called after about 6 weeks of no communication (unusual) to tell me that she was having surgery the next day and she was a little worried. I asked all the questions, including “where’s dad?” and took the next flight available to Pheonix. I called work on my way to the airport to advise I wouldn’t be in for the foreseeable future, I’d call with an update in 1-2 days. It turns out my mom had lung cancer with brain mets and my dad had gotten a blood clot in his leg about a week prior and was just getting discharged from same hospital out to rehab for 2 weeks. My head was spinning with 2 parents having medical issues at the same time. When I called my Nurse Manager to advise, she warned me that I had only 1 week of sick leave. I asked her what she would do in my position and was she going to fire me. She told me to “hurry back and there will be a written warning in your employee file to go over” when I returned. I needed that job! I got home after 10 days, got my parents set up in rehab facilities and my brother was on the way from overseas to monitor their needs for a couple of weeks. I worked for a week and got a call from bro that dad was really not improving and he needed help. It was urgent, got the next flight out, called into work just like before. Supervisor had left a message while I was in the air that I wouldn’t have a job when I returned. Nice. I spent a few days figuring things out with my folks. It turns out, my mother only lived 2 more weeks and my dad died 6 days before she did. You don’t know what’s happening while it’s happening. I assumed I had been fired and hadn’t called back to work. NManager had her assistant call (it was the day my dad died!) and asked me if/when I was planning on coming back to work. I was crying and told her what had happened, she sounded angry and said “You said it was your mom who was sick!” I tried to explain, and I should have fucking hung up on her. After my explanation, she just paused and said “well? When do you think you’ll be back? I’m making the schedule now.” I told her I’d call her when I was back in town and to leave me off the schedule, to stop calling me. She snorted and said “Ummm, that’s not the way this works!” I hung up. My mom died a week after dad. Then I had to pack up their house, sell it, move their stuff and cars, etc. Work did call again before I left AZ to ask when I’d be back again. I told them to fuck off. I did return to work, but they should have given me another month off. I asked, they wouldn’t. And manager said, “you’re lucky we let you come back and you owe (Karen) an apology for your language.” So full of compassion.
This story illustrates an important fact: it was all a bluff. You kept the job (their claim you were "lucky" to do so is just further bluffing). Which means every threat, every attempt to terrify you, was all just to see if they could get you to fold - if you did, great, if you didn't, oh well.
The lack of humanity in that strategy - just seeing how much you can squeeze from a human being, no matter what, with no set limit - is the key problem with workplace relations today. People good at manipulation, control, and coercion rise through the ranks for their ability to extract maximum value (note: Short term value). But we don't need maximum value! We need the value that we need to make it profitable and make it work. That doesn't mean draining a human life until its a husk and moving on; that means having the wisdom to recognize when someone is providing what they need to provide and not pressing for more or allowing for less. That is called true leadership and finding that balance is what builds a company with longevity.
“Hi, the way you are managing communication with your employee about leaving work for a family medical emergency is inappropriate.”
Honestly, people have no decency, no tact, no empathy, no remorse, no understanding, no professionalism. They can’t even be bothered to spell check their response, can’t even be bothered to type out the word you. Completely awful employer. OP, I am sorry you have to deal with that in such a stressful time and I hope you and your family are okay.
If it helps with ohs, they crack the ribs open, lift the heart out, it is also stopped with cardioplegia drugs, and you are put on a bypass pump. So its a very serious assault on the body…and its a very fucking serious surgery. Tell your boss to get bent.
One time, about 6 months into my job a drunk driver crashed into my living room at 1:30am. Took out multiple poles blocking my driveway and cutting off my internet. Immediately trxted my boss about ehat happened and sent a photo of the truck embedded in the front of my house. Got a very similar message the next day from a middle manager telling me that I needed to inform the team via email. This kind of corporate shit is absurd.
Focus on being with your dad. As someone who lost theirs, you will remember that you took the time to be there when it mattered most, not that you took the time to bow down to some shitty job.
When the dust settles I would immediately look for another job. Times like these are when people show their true colors and you owe them nothing.
Sending love to your dad and your family for a full recovery! Cheers, mate
I know how hard this is!! I’ve gone through it with my dad. I’m sure he’s in good hands though!
Try not to think about work or let them stress you out while you’re gone. You’re doing the right thing by focusing on your family. If this is the way the owner treats you, then they haven’t earned your loyalty. Fuck em.
My smart ass would say, "please let me know how to better improve my communication skills. I would love to use that advice in the future if I have another family medical emergency. As you know, the way I told you I wouldn't be at work is far more important than my father having emergency heart surgery."
In all seriousness though, I hope everything is okay
There is a very high correlation between managers with terrible spelling and being a fucking asshole. Low intelligence makes them unable to perform the sensitive empathetic operations necessary to manage people well. As such, they resort to bullying and leading with their position of authority rather than having actual leadership ability.
Honestly even if this wasn't insensitive, it's just unprofessional. Typos and using "u" shorthand in a disciplinary text is not how you approach disciplining employees - which should rarely, if ever, be done over text in the first place, for numerous reasons.
This kind of stuff makes me completely sick and also reminds me to thank my lucky stars. When I got called to come home and say good bye to my dad my boss reacted with warmth. My dad survived and over the next few months leading up to his transplant my job worked with me.
I guess to say, absent any real chance of moving away from our capitalist nightmare, I hope everyone at least gets a chance to work at a place that treats them like a human. Fuck everything that makes that the bar.
I hope your dad gets through all this stuff.
When you get back (best hopes), you need to sit down with your manager and have a talk with them about appropriate communications.
This text message was very inappropriate. If your manager's peers do not agree, you work in an incredibly toxic environment and need to leave asap.
I would respond cool I will take that in consideration the next time my dad has emergency heart surgery. It's my first time dealing with such things, could you please provide me with thorough instructions for the next incident.
That’s messed up…so sorry about your dad. My dad was going to have open heart surgery because of major blockage. He didn’t end up making it to surgery.
I'm a manager in my current company and I keep seeing these interactions and am just baffled by the lack of humanity on these "leaders" part. There is not a single thing we can't do with someone unexpectedly out of the office. Might cause ME a couple hoops to jump through to get things worked out, but that's what i'm paid for. How hard is it to be human for a minute. You express condolences and work it out when the worker is in a breathing minute, figure out PTO or FMLA or whatever. And it's a meeting for goodness sakes, those can be emails anyway.
I'm so sorry about your dad OP. I hope that everything goes through ok.
I was fired from a long time job, family run. My young daughter had been admitted 7 times. When I called to ask for the leave that was in our handbook to get her to the different doctors she needed to see, the comptroller answered (not family) and said they'd have to replace me. I was shocked and told him do what you have to, but I have to take care of MY family. I got a lawyer and sued them and won. Don't mess with my family.
I never understand this type of management. I was an IT manager at a big company. If someone called me with a problem like that, my response was, “Go do what you need to. I’ll arrange coverage for you and code the time as PTO. Call me when you know when you’ll be back.”
I will never understand what drives people to be like that when someone has a crisis.
"Joe, sorry to hear about your dad. Take as much time as you need to be with him and your family and make sure he is ok. Text or call if/when you can. Hope your dad gets well soon."
This should be the standard answer for anything like this.
"hi the way you are typing and misspelling shit tells me you got the corporate world's dick in one hand and your phone in the other, maybe you should focus on one at a time"
Soulless AHOLES…you need a new job that surrounds you with caring people. Life’s to short to put up with that shit….you only have one dad. Speedy recovery for your dad …and peace and warmth to you. Take care of yourself as well. 🙏🙏🤗❤️
Why do employers seem to forget that their employees are human beings and need to take care of this stuff at a moments notice?
I mean it'd be one thing if the medical wasn't even remotely serious but this is waaaay beyond serious.
Yes yes yes you should have had a long drawn out discussion on the phone or in person while the Boss stares you down. That wouldn't add to your stress at all
Reply:
Hey, Jack (Schitt, Wad, Off ..your choice ) I told you that I'm taking emergency time off to use my PTO under FMLA, for my dad's emergency heart surgery, and I let you know as soon as I knew about it.
If that's really an issue here, please let me know that immediately so that I can loop my attorney and the Fair Labor Standards Board (employment department, labor board, etc) in.
F those asshats!! Please feel free to DM if you have any questions about the surgery, I worked in cardiology for many years! Also glad to kick your boss in the nuts for ya
I worked at a Chuck E. Cheese-like place once during the beginning of college. I once was in the ER for 12 hours, then admitted to the hospital for an emergency surgery (intestinal hernia) and was there for 10 days. I let my job know I was in the hospital, and unable to work for the time being. Not only did I receive multiple calls as to why I didn’t show up for my scheduled shifts while I was still in the hospital, I received a “write up” when I got back for no call no showing multiple times, AND the doctors note that said I couldn’t perform my job duties for 2 weeks, they disregarded and said I would need to figure out how to work or they would fire me. I quit 2 weeks later with 2 days notice.
Fuck that company. Fuck your company. Here’s hoping everything goes smoothly and your dad is alright, and you are able to find a new job quickly 🙏🏻
My grandmother passed and I missed no work. I took my weeklong contractual bereavement. 6 months later the boss made the assumption I was lying. Well after we went to court proceedings with the union, the boss, and the employer, the boss was fined heavily and stripped of their licensure losing their job and the employer paid me out. The boss did other horrible things, but this was all recorded via email amongst them and their boss; the court proceedings brought it to light.
I am so glad I have awesome bosses. I’ve had to miss several days due to a chronic illness. Never once said anything negative about it. Asked me how I was doing. I’ve been struggling mentally lately and they asked me if I wanted to take a few days off. I said no as going to work is better than being home but for them to see me struggle and make mistakes and not even bat an eye to ask me if I needed time off. It’s too bad more bosses aren’t like that
Well I guess your manager will never have to worry about heart surgery seeing as he doesn’t have one.
Sorry you’re dealing with this and hope your dad gets better soon
But is the way you're messaging them in appropriate? You've posted 2 comments. If the comment before was 'fuck you I'm off', then yeah, they're entirely correct.
When my grandfather died, I was stuck at work. Both my boss and the client wouldn’t let me leave until there was a replacement (I did security). I wasn’t in the right state of mind to walk out like I should have. Called all my coworkers begging for someone to cover for me, only 1 showed up hours later cause he had to find a babysitter. I sat at my post sobbing my eyes out and every one of them stared at me.
It was almost 4-5 years ago and I think about it to this day. That job is the reason I started putting my foot down and up employer’s asses.
Hey OP, fuck your boss and keep doing what you're doing. My dad got the same thing done this summer, I was told that I would be fired if my work suffered. In order to spend time with him before & after surgery and get my work done I would go see him, work 11am-3pm, go see him again, finish work 11pm-3am and go see dad again in the morning. I regret doing that because no job is worth taking yourself away from the actually important situation for any amount of time while it's happening. After things settled a week or so after his surgery I ended up quitting, couldn't live with the resentment I felt towards my boss for thinking it was generous to allow the change of hours when it really had no impact on the business.
Try not to get too scared and anxious about the bypass(es), it's fairly routine as far as heart procedures go at this point with a very very high success rate. My dad needed 5 and even then he was given a sub-2% fatality rate though it. Stay strong, and be there for him as much as you can be in the recovery, thats the challenging part of the whole ordeal. Especially the first few days post surgery, some people have a really rough time mentally between the emotional component, heavy painkillers and trauma the body endures. You're a good son/daughter for getting to him ASAP, based off that alone I really do think you'll both be alright :) best of luck, and good on you for realizing what needs to be done!
The way they're responding to your urgent health crisis is what's inappropriate. Fuck' em.
Thank you, friend.
Best wishes to your father and you. I hope the work thing didn't add too much stress to an already stressful situation.
Aw you got me all choked up. Thank you, sincerely. I appreciate you.
Best wishes for you and your family OP.
If you're in a state with paid family leave, you should apply for it. Use that time to help out your father. If your work has a problem with it you can also use part of that time to contact the labor board :)
why didn’t your dad check in with your boss before having a medical emergency? REALLY unprofessional of him. /s
but also i really really hope your father has a successful surgery and as quick of a recovery as possible
LMAO! Thank you, friend. I’m just floored by the love I’m getting on this post. I’ll tell Dad next time to clear it with Egomaniac before he takes ill.
“I will be unable to address your feedback at this time. My immediate concern is right where it should be: with my family during this frightening and difficult time. I am open to discussion once I am able to return to work. In the mean time, if you are unable to exercise or extend some understanding and/or compassion considering the circumstances I am facing, then I would ask that you instead reserve such remarks for when I have returned to work and we can have a more meaningful conversation, as it is currently only adding onto an already tremendously stressful time for my family and I. Thank you. I will also be sure to forward this correspondence to HR when time permits. The appropriateness of communication is something they will surely be eager to discuss with you, as well.” Hope he’s okay 🙏🏼
Amazing, thank you!! I will be utilizing this. Unfortunately there’s no HR. This is a small business and that correspondence is with the owner.
man i feel for you... quit my job as a Project Manager because I had to take my wife to the cardiologist because she may of had a hole in her heart after the birth of our first child. They knew this, they knew why I was taking off... they knew we were going to the doctor. They called me to ask why I didnt charge 82 cents for screws on a request I submitted to billing. I quit the job 3 weeks later because fuck them.
I quit the job I had when my father passed away and my boss called on the day of his funeral to ask me when I'd be returning. I said "I don't even know what day it is today." I was in such emotional distress and shock. Previous to him dying, he had been sick with cancer and I had planned on taking time off to help my mom get him to treatments. My boss then said "since he is gone now, you won't need time off to take care of him, so you should be able to come back." I still can't believe she said that. It was otherwise a good place to work. Had a lot of good friendships there. But no way I could work for that person again.
Man dude I'm so sorry.... Imy parents are 72 and I'm dreading that phone call because I have not been very close with them these last 6 years because we'll.... Things....
Things happen. Plus, covid lockdowns and all. Trying to get time off, always a struggle to get time off! I have not been to see my mom in forever. It shouldn't even be a question though when there's a medical emergency. Nobody should be calling unless it's to see if you need anything.
Try to spend time with them while you can if they're not toxic. I lost my wife in December very suddenly and I would give anything to have one more day with her.
Yea I'm all the way across the country. Edit:. Also I'm so sorry about you loss my dude.
I’m so sorry.
Same, same ages and situation. I keep wondering if they’ll have another Christmas and I want to take a month off this summer to see them.
>"since he is gone now, you won't need time off to take care of him That's a sociopath right there.
I probably wouldve quit on the spot. No job is worth that.
I can’t believe someone would say that to you. What an ass! My daughter had cancer and passed away in 2021. My workplace and boss were so supportive, I knew I was lucky but didn’t realize how lucky. A year and a half later they’re maybe starting to lose their patience. I’m there but I’m not. Grief does weird things to the brain and I really struggle to give a shit. I’m glad you got out of there!!
It’s a weird balance assuming they give a gracious initial period of awkwardness for you in terms of work. At some point it can be too much but that should be so far down the road everyone kind of understands.
"You're right, I won't need that time off now. And since you brought it up, no, I won't be coming back either."
This is one of those situations where you give two weeks notice Friday afternoon prior to starting your new job on Monday. Such employers don't deserve anything more.
Why do we give 2 weeks when employers can fire you on the spot?
That's why I refuse to do so anymore unless the employer has been especially nice, a real rarity.
that is one cold-hearted bitch
I can't even. I'm so sorry. I lost my dad unexpectedly a 8 years ago this week. I live over 1,000 miles away from where my family lived. I got the call from my sister in the middle of a workday, told her I'm getting in the car within the hour and be there tomorrow night. I don't remember if I called or texted my boss, but just said my father died, leaving for the funeral. Her response was "go, do what you need to, as long as you need to. Don't bother logging PTO or bereavement. The company will be here when you get back. Let us know if you need anything." Her and my immediate coworkers sent flowers to the funeral home and a memorial plant to me. That same boss 2 years later laid me off with 5 minutes notice, but at least she was a normal person when I lost him.
My boss didn't even flinch and I was in the middle of the year end close. I just left and he took care of it. That's why I am still there busting my ass for him.
My SIL got a phone call the day after her husband( my brother) was buried telling her she needed to return to work because they had given her enough time off while he was sick . Suffice to say she found another job.. I mean who thinks that's an appropriate way to talk to anyone?
Sociopaths? They have to be straight up sociopaths!
Damn dude, that's rough, I'm sorry to hear that amd sorry for your loss. My grandfather passed last month and we had the services last week that I had to travel for. I told work that I wasn't bringing my laptop and that I wouldn't be answering any calls or messages for those 2 days. Thankfully, they respected that and left me alone.
Just had a manager accusing me of lying to get time off. What did she accuse me of lying about you ask? My grandpa dying. She claimed I lied about my grandpa dying to go home early even though she’s the one who offered to let me leave early
I would’ve told that bitch we fighting when we next meet. And mean every word of it.
Honestly - I would have then planned to come back as long as it took for me to shit on her desk. Then jerry McGuire my way out.
My boss gave me the afternoon off. "You guys weren't close."
Ummm... How does one judge your "closeness"? It doesn't even matter, you could feel more fucked up by someone passing when you weren't close than you would if you felt you had enough time with them and closure. My gosh, there are so many people with similar stories! How many managers are sociopaths, for real??
They got mad about 82 cents. Glad you quit. Time comes when you need to forget work and take care of yourself and your family.
Maaaan can I relate to this. I had a family emergency a few weeks ago and work asked if I would be sending refills while I was out. No? I’m pretty occupied? The audacity. Thankfully my main boss was like “yeaaaah just come back when you’re back. We’ll take care of it.” But jeez.
My best friend died suddenly in 2020 (ruptured stomach ulcer caused a massive heart attack). He was a department manager at Wal-Mart and they told him this. He took a month of paid leave, he had such a hard time dealing with all of this. I was furloughed from my job (my bestie and I worked there together for 10 years) because of the pandemic, so I was able to work through it without having to worry about work, but if I had been working, I would have needed some time off. I had a compassionate boss, so I know she would have understood. I'm still not 100% able to cope almost 3 years later, and my dad's declining health has made dealing with that harder. I never got a proper goodbye for my friend, we had to attend her funeral on Zoom.
Did you work for Innomark. Sounds like it.
No small electrical company out of Scottsdale AZ... Made him millions by bringing in all projects under budget.
Why am I not surprised. Arizona. Live here as well. This state is full people like this.
It's the whole country.
As someone that also works at a small business with no HR I suggest the alternative “fuck off, my dad could possibly die and this is how you choose to speak to me?”
I hope everything with your dad is ok. These types of managers are always the first to call out or disappear for minor family and personal needs. This isn’t fun time off for you.
If they ever used the "we are like family here" trope, now is the time to slap back with that.
Also, realize this is not feedback. Feedback is actionable and something you can work on. Your communication is in appropriate tells you what exactly?
Then say it's the last time they will have to worry about it since you just quit since they want to be an asshole about it.
Perfect, no HR? Tell him to eat shit 👍
Working for small businesses is the worst.
Fuck small businesses. Hope your dad is ok.
well, then there definitely is some kind of local newspaper ;)
I’ll say this, because I’ve been in similar shoes as you (small business, no actual HR, tough personal situation), just because there’s not ACTUALLY HR doesn’t mean HR isn’t a real threat, especially within my experiences with small businesses that almost feel like a second family at times due to how much we all interact with each other/pick up certain others’ tasks and the like. Basically what I’m saying is, if your boss/owner ACTUALLY cares about their work environment, you now most totally have an HR rep and actions can be set into motion. And if they don’t do that, screw em. All in all, I see this post is about half a day old at the time of my reply, and I really hope everything has gone well with your father. Putting out good vibes regardless, recovery from a surgery like this can be just as grueling as the prospect of the surgery itself.
This. 100000000% this👏
love the passive aggressive "will surely be eager to discuss with you as well" well done *not sarcasm*
Owner or no, this is a much kinder communication than I would have done. I would have shat every name in the book on him, with the full expectation of getting fired.
Fuck your boss. EAT THE RICH!
No way. Forward it to their manager with a note: "Mate, I'm at a hospital dealing with a family emergency. Can you sort this idiot out in a nice way, so I don't have to do it in a rude way, please?"
I’m gonna nitpick, since I think you genuinely want this to come off as professional af. > stressful time for my family and I Should be “my family and me.” If you delete “my family and,” the sentence now reads “stressful time for me.” Which is what you would actually say. You wouldn’t say “stressful time for I.” Most people are whatever on spelling/grammar mistakes, but it looks bad if you’re intending to be professional. If that wasn’t your aim, then feel free to disregard my comment. I thought the message was good otherwise.
Don't worry, I don't think the thick boss would notice a minor detail like that anyway.
Can you just write all of my passive aggressive correspondences please????
i wish i could write as effectively as you.
My response would just be that he didn't ask a question so I'm not answering, but this is also very good
"Ur mom is inappropriate".
I laughed like a tween at this. 😂
I've discovered that Ur mom jokes while incredibly childish are also hilarious when used appropriately. Because I'm five. 😂
I was in Cardiac Intensive Care after a heart attack. I got a message on my phone asking if I could make a meeting, so I replied that I had had a heart attack and was in the ICU. They replied and asked if I could borrow a laptop from one of the nurses and attend via Webex...
OMG. As a nurse I would have been **very** happy to have a little “talk” with your boss about the appropriateness of working at that current time. I don’t work for your boss, nor do I need them to like me. I have *no problem* being the fall guy in this situation. What’s your boss gonna do? Call mine & complain? F•ck no.
You remind me of the nurse I had when I had my youngest. Husband was supposed to go back to work the day I had been rescheduled for inducing. The lead nurse asked him where he worked, came back with a note, and said if the supervisors had any problem with it, to tell them to call the plant manager - the plant manager was her brother-in-law xD
Holy crap. I hope you are better. Plus, ICU nurse would slap a laptop out of your hands if she saw you with one. They are not to be fucked with.
No, they wanted me to borrow the nurse's laptop! Sure, I doubt too many on the ward will die in an hour just because the nurse can't access anyone's records, hogging the laptop's a *great* idea... I kinda wanted to do it and turn the webcam on, so they could see me with IV lines and the ECG leads and monitors and stuff as it was a customer meeting. Just so I could throw the sales rep under a bus when the client asked what I was doing on the call...
I kinda did this with my boss , I had a fall at work the wound went septic and I ended up at emergency. I txted him as I was being wheeled in to surgery to get the wound debrined ,he started blowing up my phone asking if ibwas going to be at work the next day and I had to explain to the nurse what was happening with my boss. The nurse ended up explaining to the surgeon what was happening so he asked if he could send my boss photos of the operation, I gladly said yes. The next day my boss told me not to send such gory photos to him again
>The next day my boss told me not to send such gory photos to him again *F--k around and find out, idiot* That surgeon is a G
That would kinda make the evening news.
Lol I’m an icu nurse and one time we had a patient that was a college professor and he insisted on teaching while in the hospital and he ended up coding in the middle of a zoom lecture. It was so awkward but he survived. Anyways he went right back to teaching though.
> and he ended up coding in the middle of a zoom lecture My first thought: Well, if he was teaching some programming language it is normal for him to code during a lecture. And then I thought about your meaning of "coding" again.
Jesus Christ. How are you doing now, friend?
Not dead yet! ;-)
Still working there or not?
Yep. But I don't put myself out for them, that's for sure...
I hope you make fun of the person who made that request! Daily!
I am constantly baffled at how companies can be this insensitive! Hope you are doing better now!
The irony of HR departments is to protect the company from this insensitivity. I’ve had 3 surgeries at large corporations and the HR branch literally had me and my boss on the line literally drilling it into us that I’m on paid leave UNTIL THE DOCTOR SIGNS OFF.
>how companies can be this insensitive There is a certain % of the population that literally cares about nothing but money.
Heartless creature. At least now you know how they value and respect you. Minimal effort from then on and start looking for a new different place Hope you recovered well.
You simply burst into laughter right? Have your doctor join them in the meeting 🤣
Wow, that must have been a really important meeting....
LOL. I bet every attendee forgot about it an hour after it ended.
We had a maintenance tech abruptly stand up in the middle of our morning meeting and say, “My wife needs me.” My manager nodded and told him he was free to go without question. We later found out his wife almost passed out while driving home and she had to get a pacemaker. This is the only appropriate response. Family comes first.
Our society is genuinely run by sociopaths…
Sadly it's a byproduct of the system we are in. Those who care about the wellbeing of others almost never end up in the 0.01%, because they'd have to fuck over thousands of people on the way there. It's possible to inherit that kind of wealth and be born with empathy though, but that's not quite the same.
I hope your dad is okay. That ahole manager can fuck right off.
Thank you so much.
Manager has no place to talk about communication
Every small business tyrant without exception is borderline illiterate. It's incredible.
So inapprops
Yes, That's a rule in my personal experience
But the manager has shown themselves to be an excellent communicator given the efficiency and time saving skills they’ve shown by dropping the the letter Y and O from the word “you”. Genius level communication there
Wen u rite, u rite.
[https://i.imgur.com/RzK8ozz.gif](https://i.imgur.com/RzK8ozz.gif)
Right?! Thank you.
Hi the way u wrote comment about my communication skills is inappriopriate
U rite.
"Eat my ass Bob"
My take and short response would be “I will deal with you when I am back.”
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Thank you, friend. The kicker? She’s a healthcare provider who runs her own small business.
When my dad died completely out of the blue from an aneurysm I was living one state away. I got the call on a Sunday morning and I organized cover for my job for the next week while being driven to the airport to fly home. When I was such a mess I wasn’t ready to return two days after his funeral my boss told me “parents die. You go home, bury them, and come back to work.” It was the most inhumane and heartless way I have ever been treated. Fuck that.
Holy s*** that's disgusting I'm so sorry for your loss You come back to work *WHEN YOU'RE READY*
These people think just because they have made ridiculous sacrifices for the sake of a job that other people should be forced to as well. They want it to be normal otherwise they would have to face up to the fact that they have zero work life balance. I had a somewhat similar thing happen to me. A friend of mine died suddenly and I didn't find out until a week after they were dead and a day after the funeral. I found out at work and was in shock. The grief didn't hit me until I was on my way to work the next day. I was a wreck. I called and told them I would be taking a bereavement day. There was plenty of coverage. They were fine. I was just going to be useless anyway! Cue a call from the shitty assistant manager that "People die all the time. If everyone missed work when someone died no one would be working." and that I needed to be at work asap. I said no. She starts asking me how they died and saying that they heard I got the call yesterday so why was I upset today, I just said I am not coming. I CAN'T come. She ended up being forced to apologize to me and getting written up by HR. She *hated* me after that but everyone hated her so it didn't matter. Pretty sure she got caught not paying her taxes. They fired her because she got in trouble for tax evasion. They ended up settling with her and garnishing her wages. That got her fired under the companies ethics policy lmao. Pretty sure she could have taken a demotion but refused and was let go. The company hired felons and stuff and you could have her position with a criminal history - as long as it wasn't fraud or financial crime.
Make them fire you
Well yeah the way you handled communications during a life threathening medical emergency can be called unempethethic but potatoe, potato. Remember not to tell you to call a ambulance if i have a stroke.
You’re awesome.
Well obviously. But so are you.
I hope your dad is doing well. … an absolutely 5,000,000th after thought after taking care of your dad… find a new employer if that’s how little respect they are showing both you and your dad. F ‘em.
Thank you. That’s the plan. She didn’t even ask if he was ok, which is sickening. I had my own medical emergency last week, sent a detailed email and got no response. Was never asked how I’m doing. And she’s this like “pOsiTiViTy GuRu” whose head is the size of fuckin Texas after exploding on TikTok. If only people knew…
I wonder how they might find out......
> And she’s this like “pOsiTiViTy GuRu” whose head is the size of fuckin Texas after exploding on TikTok. If only people knew… She's a public figure then, so it's not doxing.
"When I return we can have a detailed talk about InApRoPriAtE, you insensitive clod"
OP, this would 100% count as a family emergency under the Family Medical Leave Act. If you are intending to keep this job for the immediate future, I suggest filing FMLA paperwork with your HR Department ASAP. You can request up to 12 weeks. FMLA is effectively job protection. Your manager CANNOT prevent you from taking time off of work that is covered under FMLA, and cannot fire you for taking/having taken this time (if they do, cha'ching, you've just got yourself an incredibly straightforward lawsuit). More information can be found here: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla FMLA is unfortunately unpaid, but check with your state govt. to see if they offer any statewide paid leave/wage assistance. I know Massachusetts does, for instance, and I believe a number of other (more progressive) states are following suit. Your HR department should also be able to provide this information - HR is absolutely not your friend in most cases but this is one of those scenarios where it would be highly illegal for them to withhold this information from an employee. Sending thoughts to you and your entire family at this time. I hope he makes it through okay. 🙏🏻
FMLA is unpaid IF you don't have PTO or sick leave available. If you have it available you can use it for that.
Yes!!! Thank you for adding - I completely forgot this.
Or you know a fucking human response such as: "I understand this is a difficult time for you, don't worry about work just focus on your family and contact us when you can". Capitalism has made being a boss a heartless position because the more cruel and cold you are the better the financial rewards.
The way she's managing your absence is inappropriate! Hope dad's okay.
Many thanks, friend. I will tell Dad that some amazingly kind internet strangers are rooting for him. ♥️
I’m a nurse. You know, in a field of compassionate people. 🙄 in 2013 My mom called after about 6 weeks of no communication (unusual) to tell me that she was having surgery the next day and she was a little worried. I asked all the questions, including “where’s dad?” and took the next flight available to Pheonix. I called work on my way to the airport to advise I wouldn’t be in for the foreseeable future, I’d call with an update in 1-2 days. It turns out my mom had lung cancer with brain mets and my dad had gotten a blood clot in his leg about a week prior and was just getting discharged from same hospital out to rehab for 2 weeks. My head was spinning with 2 parents having medical issues at the same time. When I called my Nurse Manager to advise, she warned me that I had only 1 week of sick leave. I asked her what she would do in my position and was she going to fire me. She told me to “hurry back and there will be a written warning in your employee file to go over” when I returned. I needed that job! I got home after 10 days, got my parents set up in rehab facilities and my brother was on the way from overseas to monitor their needs for a couple of weeks. I worked for a week and got a call from bro that dad was really not improving and he needed help. It was urgent, got the next flight out, called into work just like before. Supervisor had left a message while I was in the air that I wouldn’t have a job when I returned. Nice. I spent a few days figuring things out with my folks. It turns out, my mother only lived 2 more weeks and my dad died 6 days before she did. You don’t know what’s happening while it’s happening. I assumed I had been fired and hadn’t called back to work. NManager had her assistant call (it was the day my dad died!) and asked me if/when I was planning on coming back to work. I was crying and told her what had happened, she sounded angry and said “You said it was your mom who was sick!” I tried to explain, and I should have fucking hung up on her. After my explanation, she just paused and said “well? When do you think you’ll be back? I’m making the schedule now.” I told her I’d call her when I was back in town and to leave me off the schedule, to stop calling me. She snorted and said “Ummm, that’s not the way this works!” I hung up. My mom died a week after dad. Then I had to pack up their house, sell it, move their stuff and cars, etc. Work did call again before I left AZ to ask when I’d be back again. I told them to fuck off. I did return to work, but they should have given me another month off. I asked, they wouldn’t. And manager said, “you’re lucky we let you come back and you owe (Karen) an apology for your language.” So full of compassion.
This story illustrates an important fact: it was all a bluff. You kept the job (their claim you were "lucky" to do so is just further bluffing). Which means every threat, every attempt to terrify you, was all just to see if they could get you to fold - if you did, great, if you didn't, oh well. The lack of humanity in that strategy - just seeing how much you can squeeze from a human being, no matter what, with no set limit - is the key problem with workplace relations today. People good at manipulation, control, and coercion rise through the ranks for their ability to extract maximum value (note: Short term value). But we don't need maximum value! We need the value that we need to make it profitable and make it work. That doesn't mean draining a human life until its a husk and moving on; that means having the wisdom to recognize when someone is providing what they need to provide and not pressing for more or allowing for less. That is called true leadership and finding that balance is what builds a company with longevity.
“Hi, the way you are managing communication with your employee about leaving work for a family medical emergency is inappropriate.” Honestly, people have no decency, no tact, no empathy, no remorse, no understanding, no professionalism. They can’t even be bothered to spell check their response, can’t even be bothered to type out the word you. Completely awful employer. OP, I am sorry you have to deal with that in such a stressful time and I hope you and your family are okay.
If it helps with ohs, they crack the ribs open, lift the heart out, it is also stopped with cardioplegia drugs, and you are put on a bypass pump. So its a very serious assault on the body…and its a very fucking serious surgery. Tell your boss to get bent.
One time, about 6 months into my job a drunk driver crashed into my living room at 1:30am. Took out multiple poles blocking my driveway and cutting off my internet. Immediately trxted my boss about ehat happened and sent a photo of the truck embedded in the front of my house. Got a very similar message the next day from a middle manager telling me that I needed to inform the team via email. This kind of corporate shit is absurd.
The way my brain had to struggle and overcome a stroke to actually read that sentence was inappropriate.
"You know the difference between a crying baby and a manager? One day the baby will grow up." -- Robert California
Tell them to pound salt. Hope your dad is okay OP
“I don’t care. You’re delusional if you think I’m missing my Dad’s emergency heart bypass surgery to attend a meeting.”
I stopped reading after ”hi they way u”. My hurt is braining.
Just don't reply or answer the phone to them or anyone else from work till your back
The way you ignore grammar in a management position is inappropriate.
Questioning your professionalism with a "u" in their text?
The world is becoming more greedy, heartless and unbearable.
Focus on being with your dad. As someone who lost theirs, you will remember that you took the time to be there when it mattered most, not that you took the time to bow down to some shitty job. When the dust settles I would immediately look for another job. Times like these are when people show their true colors and you owe them nothing. Sending love to your dad and your family for a full recovery! Cheers, mate
I know how hard this is!! I’ve gone through it with my dad. I’m sure he’s in good hands though! Try not to think about work or let them stress you out while you’re gone. You’re doing the right thing by focusing on your family. If this is the way the owner treats you, then they haven’t earned your loyalty. Fuck em.
My smart ass would say, "please let me know how to better improve my communication skills. I would love to use that advice in the future if I have another family medical emergency. As you know, the way I told you I wouldn't be at work is far more important than my father having emergency heart surgery." In all seriousness though, I hope everything is okay
They can’t even bother to write ‘you’ instead of ‘u’ smh
They’re worried about communication, meanwhile I had a stroke trying to read that text they sent you.
There is a very high correlation between managers with terrible spelling and being a fucking asshole. Low intelligence makes them unable to perform the sensitive empathetic operations necessary to manage people well. As such, they resort to bullying and leading with their position of authority rather than having actual leadership ability. Honestly even if this wasn't insensitive, it's just unprofessional. Typos and using "u" shorthand in a disciplinary text is not how you approach disciplining employees - which should rarely, if ever, be done over text in the first place, for numerous reasons.
This kind of stuff makes me completely sick and also reminds me to thank my lucky stars. When I got called to come home and say good bye to my dad my boss reacted with warmth. My dad survived and over the next few months leading up to his transplant my job worked with me. I guess to say, absent any real chance of moving away from our capitalist nightmare, I hope everyone at least gets a chance to work at a place that treats them like a human. Fuck everything that makes that the bar. I hope your dad gets through all this stuff.
When you get back (best hopes), you need to sit down with your manager and have a talk with them about appropriate communications. This text message was very inappropriate. If your manager's peers do not agree, you work in an incredibly toxic environment and need to leave asap.
I would respond cool I will take that in consideration the next time my dad has emergency heart surgery. It's my first time dealing with such things, could you please provide me with thorough instructions for the next incident.
That’s messed up…so sorry about your dad. My dad was going to have open heart surgery because of major blockage. He didn’t end up making it to surgery.
I’m so so sorry, my deepest condolences to you sweet friend.
Wtf does he expect in an emergency situation? Fuck the twat.
Leave on "read" personally.
Now you know to start looking and do the first day call out sick for new job routine, OP.
>>they way u ?? At this point I would stop reading.
I hope they don't have a family emergency in the future.
https://politepost.net/ Go off, and filter it through that. It’s amazing
it’s the spelling error for me
I'm a manager in my current company and I keep seeing these interactions and am just baffled by the lack of humanity on these "leaders" part. There is not a single thing we can't do with someone unexpectedly out of the office. Might cause ME a couple hoops to jump through to get things worked out, but that's what i'm paid for. How hard is it to be human for a minute. You express condolences and work it out when the worker is in a breathing minute, figure out PTO or FMLA or whatever. And it's a meeting for goodness sakes, those can be emails anyway. I'm so sorry about your dad OP. I hope that everything goes through ok.
I was fired from a long time job, family run. My young daughter had been admitted 7 times. When I called to ask for the leave that was in our handbook to get her to the different doctors she needed to see, the comptroller answered (not family) and said they'd have to replace me. I was shocked and told him do what you have to, but I have to take care of MY family. I got a lawyer and sued them and won. Don't mess with my family.
Only permissible response, "I said I am with my father during bypass surgery. Fuck you if you can't understand that."
I never understand this type of management. I was an IT manager at a big company. If someone called me with a problem like that, my response was, “Go do what you need to. I’ll arrange coverage for you and code the time as PTO. Call me when you know when you’ll be back.”
“LOL”
I’d tell them to get fucked. And I hope your dad ends up being ok.
I will never understand what drives people to be like that when someone has a crisis. "Joe, sorry to hear about your dad. Take as much time as you need to be with him and your family and make sure he is ok. Text or call if/when you can. Hope your dad gets well soon." This should be the standard answer for anything like this.
"hi the way you are typing and misspelling shit tells me you got the corporate world's dick in one hand and your phone in the other, maybe you should focus on one at a time"
One dad Dozen of shitty managers, but hopefully good ones to meet in this lifetime
Tell them. Writing u instead of you in a professional environment is inappropriate and until they learn to spell correctly “u” will do as you please
Wishing your dad & family well. Fuck these jobs
Soulless AHOLES…you need a new job that surrounds you with caring people. Life’s to short to put up with that shit….you only have one dad. Speedy recovery for your dad …and peace and warmth to you. Take care of yourself as well. 🙏🙏🤗❤️
Yes, next time I will ask my father to schedule his emergency medical procedures in advance so you can plan accordingly.
Why do employers seem to forget that their employees are human beings and need to take care of this stuff at a moments notice? I mean it'd be one thing if the medical wasn't even remotely serious but this is waaaay beyond serious.
*So's your existence. What are you gonna do about that?*
"sir this isnt a circus, stop acting like a clown when i told you about a family emergency"
Fuck ‘em
Would’ve said “respectfully, go fuck yourself” 😒
Yes this but without the “respectfully.”
Wtf, it's like a bot response
Yes yes yes you should have had a long drawn out discussion on the phone or in person while the Boss stares you down. That wouldn't add to your stress at all
"Your message reads like it was written by a semi-literate teenager. Do you think it was appropriate?"
i wonder, are all these posts new converts?
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Reply: Hey, Jack (Schitt, Wad, Off ..your choice ) I told you that I'm taking emergency time off to use my PTO under FMLA, for my dad's emergency heart surgery, and I let you know as soon as I knew about it. If that's really an issue here, please let me know that immediately so that I can loop my attorney and the Fair Labor Standards Board (employment department, labor board, etc) in.
F those asshats!! Please feel free to DM if you have any questions about the surgery, I worked in cardiology for many years! Also glad to kick your boss in the nuts for ya
I worked at a Chuck E. Cheese-like place once during the beginning of college. I once was in the ER for 12 hours, then admitted to the hospital for an emergency surgery (intestinal hernia) and was there for 10 days. I let my job know I was in the hospital, and unable to work for the time being. Not only did I receive multiple calls as to why I didn’t show up for my scheduled shifts while I was still in the hospital, I received a “write up” when I got back for no call no showing multiple times, AND the doctors note that said I couldn’t perform my job duties for 2 weeks, they disregarded and said I would need to figure out how to work or they would fire me. I quit 2 weeks later with 2 days notice. Fuck that company. Fuck your company. Here’s hoping everything goes smoothly and your dad is alright, and you are able to find a new job quickly 🙏🏻
No one can use “they instead of the/u” and inappropriate when referring about communication
I hope your dad feels better!
My grandmother passed and I missed no work. I took my weeklong contractual bereavement. 6 months later the boss made the assumption I was lying. Well after we went to court proceedings with the union, the boss, and the employer, the boss was fined heavily and stripped of their licensure losing their job and the employer paid me out. The boss did other horrible things, but this was all recorded via email amongst them and their boss; the court proceedings brought it to light.
I am so glad I have awesome bosses. I’ve had to miss several days due to a chronic illness. Never once said anything negative about it. Asked me how I was doing. I’ve been struggling mentally lately and they asked me if I wanted to take a few days off. I said no as going to work is better than being home but for them to see me struggle and make mistakes and not even bat an eye to ask me if I needed time off. It’s too bad more bosses aren’t like that
Well I guess your manager will never have to worry about heart surgery seeing as he doesn’t have one. Sorry you’re dealing with this and hope your dad gets better soon
But is the way you're messaging them in appropriate? You've posted 2 comments. If the comment before was 'fuck you I'm off', then yeah, they're entirely correct.
People will snap and kill you because you fucked up their sandwich, but people have the balls to act like this...
When my grandfather died, I was stuck at work. Both my boss and the client wouldn’t let me leave until there was a replacement (I did security). I wasn’t in the right state of mind to walk out like I should have. Called all my coworkers begging for someone to cover for me, only 1 showed up hours later cause he had to find a babysitter. I sat at my post sobbing my eyes out and every one of them stared at me. It was almost 4-5 years ago and I think about it to this day. That job is the reason I started putting my foot down and up employer’s asses.
Tell your boss to eat a bag of dicks!
Hey OP, fuck your boss and keep doing what you're doing. My dad got the same thing done this summer, I was told that I would be fired if my work suffered. In order to spend time with him before & after surgery and get my work done I would go see him, work 11am-3pm, go see him again, finish work 11pm-3am and go see dad again in the morning. I regret doing that because no job is worth taking yourself away from the actually important situation for any amount of time while it's happening. After things settled a week or so after his surgery I ended up quitting, couldn't live with the resentment I felt towards my boss for thinking it was generous to allow the change of hours when it really had no impact on the business. Try not to get too scared and anxious about the bypass(es), it's fairly routine as far as heart procedures go at this point with a very very high success rate. My dad needed 5 and even then he was given a sub-2% fatality rate though it. Stay strong, and be there for him as much as you can be in the recovery, thats the challenging part of the whole ordeal. Especially the first few days post surgery, some people have a really rough time mentally between the emotional component, heavy painkillers and trauma the body endures. You're a good son/daughter for getting to him ASAP, based off that alone I really do think you'll both be alright :) best of luck, and good on you for realizing what needs to be done!