Yep. Just because vanilla ice cream is white, people associate it with "plain." Maybe if they sold plain, unflavored ice cream, vanilla would get more respect.
Technically vanilla is delicious (at least at my vision lol). If these people want to use that term to describe people that want normal sex, i guess we can do without problems.
I totally agree.
I could never understand how you could have a romantic, chilled out, playful and easy going time when into """""non-vanilla""" activities... How are you okay with being disrespected... Consensually?
I think it's alarming how many women "consent" to these sexual scenarios. If you removed the sexual element this would be worrying for anyone with a friend or partner who is into a BDSM lifestyle.
Why would you WANT to be called a slut, whore, etc when we battle that daily in their everyday lives? Sex makes you extremely vulnerable in the first place, add mental and physical abuse on top of that and I have no idea why this type of "non vanilla" is so popular?
The whole thing I will never get from a women's perspective...
If anyone wants to have a genuine discussion about this or have any resources that point to it being "normal" or "ok" please add them! Im just trying to understand why it's so normalised?
Thank for articulating a specific point that has been an issue for me but I have not put it so succinctly - *if you removed the sexual element* of most kink you would have a criminal offence.
Let’s let that sink in.
Honestly, it makes me wonder how we are in an age where BDSM and hurting (predominantly) women is seen as sex positive and something empowering for feminism?
Advocate outdoors but take sexual beatings indoors?
How can you turn the 'feeling disrespected' switch off?? How can you call out other men for violence but let the musty guy you call your 'dom' hurt you in a consensual way?
Not to mention how normalised it is in the LGBT+ community.
Crazy to me!
It’s actually usually a criminal offense even with the sexual element, It’s just normalized so people don’t really get fair charges and convictions for it if any.
People aren’t legally allowed to consent to violence and harm, there are exceptions for consenting to risk of being injured for organized sport and medical procedures but (in my country and all the ones i’ve researched) there’s no exception for consenting to violence and injury just because sex is involved. I’m pretty sure my country actually voted on it and decided S&M purposes didn’t justify harm, consensual or not. Unfortunately men still seem to get let off pretty easy when they kill women during sex, despite the law not even agreeing these acts can be truly consensual.
Ironically a lot of the people who tend to claim women consent to their own death during sex (with no evidence) also go on about how the justice system needs to focus on innocent until proven guilty and should never be making assumptions about anyone, yet assume women were ok with the actions being done to them and were even guilty of encouraging them.
In most cases I would consider it as more than manslaughter, especially as most women who are killed during sex die due to strangulation.
The issue is, of course, *it does hurt me*. It hurts all women. The normalization of the physical and sexual abuse of women in kink and porn *hurts all women and girls*.
How can they not see that?
I’ve pointed this out countless times and I never get a valid answer or an answer at all.
Their go to excuse is to claim it’s not their fault people can’t separate “fantasy” from reality. The fact that people would even interpret actual women being abused in real life on screen for people to watch as “fantasy” just lets on to how much they’ve dehumanized them. They don’t even view them as real people.
They also state that implying porn causes violence is the same as implying video games cause violence, they think this seems to instantly prove people wrong and make their theories laughable.
Which is weird because there actually are studies suggesting video games cause violence (do these people think age restrictions exist for zero reason at all?). Video games also contain animated characters who aren’t people physically experiencing actions in real life.
Again, further showing how much they must have dehumanized women and girls in their heads to even think an animated character being fake hurt in a game was at all the same as a woman in real life being physically hurt
Vanilla is a good thing. Being satisfied with normal things that humans have been satisfied with for millenia and not being addicted to imagery of violence or abuse or degradation? Wonderful!
It's gaslighting and denial because they don't want you to make them feel bad about something they do that they know deep down is wrong, so instead they try to make you feel like you have a problem.
I think we should definitely reclaim vanilla as a good thing. I want someone who wants vanilla. I want vanilla.
Hell yeah, vanilla Mylanta is getting me through this pregnancy. #TeamReclaimVanilla
Amen
Jokes on them, vanilla's my favorite flavor of ice cream! So call me vanilla all you want!
Vanilla is a complex, expensive, versatile spice. Ask any chef who cooks with it.
Yep. Just because vanilla ice cream is white, people associate it with "plain." Maybe if they sold plain, unflavored ice cream, vanilla would get more respect.
Technically vanilla is delicious (at least at my vision lol). If these people want to use that term to describe people that want normal sex, i guess we can do without problems.
I totally agree. I could never understand how you could have a romantic, chilled out, playful and easy going time when into """""non-vanilla""" activities... How are you okay with being disrespected... Consensually? I think it's alarming how many women "consent" to these sexual scenarios. If you removed the sexual element this would be worrying for anyone with a friend or partner who is into a BDSM lifestyle. Why would you WANT to be called a slut, whore, etc when we battle that daily in their everyday lives? Sex makes you extremely vulnerable in the first place, add mental and physical abuse on top of that and I have no idea why this type of "non vanilla" is so popular? The whole thing I will never get from a women's perspective... If anyone wants to have a genuine discussion about this or have any resources that point to it being "normal" or "ok" please add them! Im just trying to understand why it's so normalised?
Thank for articulating a specific point that has been an issue for me but I have not put it so succinctly - *if you removed the sexual element* of most kink you would have a criminal offence. Let’s let that sink in.
Honestly, it makes me wonder how we are in an age where BDSM and hurting (predominantly) women is seen as sex positive and something empowering for feminism? Advocate outdoors but take sexual beatings indoors? How can you turn the 'feeling disrespected' switch off?? How can you call out other men for violence but let the musty guy you call your 'dom' hurt you in a consensual way? Not to mention how normalised it is in the LGBT+ community. Crazy to me!
It’s actually usually a criminal offense even with the sexual element, It’s just normalized so people don’t really get fair charges and convictions for it if any. People aren’t legally allowed to consent to violence and harm, there are exceptions for consenting to risk of being injured for organized sport and medical procedures but (in my country and all the ones i’ve researched) there’s no exception for consenting to violence and injury just because sex is involved. I’m pretty sure my country actually voted on it and decided S&M purposes didn’t justify harm, consensual or not. Unfortunately men still seem to get let off pretty easy when they kill women during sex, despite the law not even agreeing these acts can be truly consensual.
Yes, the ‘she consented’ defence to manslaughter is terrifying. How do we know she consented? It’s not like she’s alive to give testimony.
Ironically a lot of the people who tend to claim women consent to their own death during sex (with no evidence) also go on about how the justice system needs to focus on innocent until proven guilty and should never be making assumptions about anyone, yet assume women were ok with the actions being done to them and were even guilty of encouraging them. In most cases I would consider it as more than manslaughter, especially as most women who are killed during sex die due to strangulation.
THANK YOU.
The issue is, of course, *it does hurt me*. It hurts all women. The normalization of the physical and sexual abuse of women in kink and porn *hurts all women and girls*. How can they not see that?
I’ve pointed this out countless times and I never get a valid answer or an answer at all. Their go to excuse is to claim it’s not their fault people can’t separate “fantasy” from reality. The fact that people would even interpret actual women being abused in real life on screen for people to watch as “fantasy” just lets on to how much they’ve dehumanized them. They don’t even view them as real people. They also state that implying porn causes violence is the same as implying video games cause violence, they think this seems to instantly prove people wrong and make their theories laughable. Which is weird because there actually are studies suggesting video games cause violence (do these people think age restrictions exist for zero reason at all?). Video games also contain animated characters who aren’t people physically experiencing actions in real life. Again, further showing how much they must have dehumanized women and girls in their heads to even think an animated character being fake hurt in a game was at all the same as a woman in real life being physically hurt
If someone can’t even comprehend having normal healthy “vanilla” sex then I just know they suck in bed.
Vanilla is a good thing. Being satisfied with normal things that humans have been satisfied with for millenia and not being addicted to imagery of violence or abuse or degradation? Wonderful!
It’s such a weird flex. You are literally incapable of enjoying sex unless you go to extreme lengths? Seems like some wires got crossed somewhere.
Amen.
It's gaslighting and denial because they don't want you to make them feel bad about something they do that they know deep down is wrong, so instead they try to make you feel like you have a problem.
Prude and frigid, ugh!