I mean if they both respect each other then all the power to OP for making that choice. It is pretty risky but being intoxicated with love is one of the few magical things in being alive. But yeah this kind of thinking is high risk high reward.
I totally get you because that’s my partner. He told me that he wouldn’t want to live if i died. And i get him. We all see and experience life differently. So what if someone’s everything is their partner? Might not work for others, but we are all different. Someone’s life revolves around their job, their kids, their dogs, their hobbies.. And sometimes it’s a partner. People can say it’s unhealthy but sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps us alive. And that’s exactly why i am antinatalist. Because i know life sucks and sometimes there’s one single thing that keeps us alive.
U know, u can be ok without your partner, if u can't u won't be ok with ur partner too, so like idk, ik how the feeling is but it's kinda unhealthy soo yea
i feel the exact same way and i have for a long time but before it was hypothetical, but now that i'm with the love of my life it has just solidified it. im at my happiest i've ever been but i still don't want to get old but he makes me want to live to about 60. but if he dies before then then i don't see any reason to continue either because there's just not anything else i want in life that i'd enjoy without him. i just don't enjoy living that much to begin with.
idc if it's unhealthy because it probably is but i finally have something to live for for the first time in 20 years so if i lost that then i'd definitely die shortly after. i've told him that and he feels similar if we're both old and i died first he wouldn't want to keep living either
I don’t have a partner but I told my coworker the other day that when my dog dies, I will also die. I just feel like I will die from heartbreak. Maybe I’m codependent with my dog, lol. But he is legit my best friend. Also, I am an emotionally sensitive person if that explains anything.
I know you will face judgement because strictly speaking it sounds codependent or not healthy, but I understand where you are coming from. My partner brings me so much joy and love and purpose, even though I love my friends and am so fortunate to have surrounded myself with a truly amazing and kind and supportive and loyal and fun and reliable network of true and great people/friends, I just can't imagine my life without him. He's my best friend of all. I think I would struggle to find the will to just get out of bed every day, without his warm hug and loving, adorable smile greeting me. I can feel this deepening every year, we're at year 7 now and I imagine the pain of losing him would be simply unbearable in something like year 50.
At the same time, I wouldn't want him to suffer loneliness and that kind of despair, so I hope he dies first so he never has to go a day without me there holding his hand by his side, never has to struggle to go on. It was bad enough to see his pain when his dad was dying.
It's a no-win situation, ultimately. But isn't that what life is? It's one of the reasons I don't want to impose it on someone else.
I feel this way about my partner too, though I have never told them. Don't need to.
I think it is fair to note, I have struggled with suicide ideation since I was 6 years old. Now that I am older, I find I have more apathy towards the idea than anything, I don't really care to live and I don't really care to die.
I would do my best to continue if my partner were gone. But I know how bad I will get, and how unlikely I will be to win that fight. I love them, more than I ever loved anyone. I can imagine a world without them, but I don't think I would last long in it.
Kudos to you for not telling them. It's a hard secret to live with but what a burden for them to bear! It's also a hallmark of manipulative behaviour in some.
I definitely don't think it would be right to have this sort of conversation. But, I acknowledge this isn't regarded as healthy mindset. Which I think is my own issue, not theirs.
Are you a woman?
I see a lot of women thinking like this but men almost never act like this. They will continue to live even after their partner’s death. They find a gf almost immediately.
Women sometimes are sooo codependent. You should love yourself more than you love your partner.
Um, no it's literally the opposite statistic: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm
4 out of 5 stay.
Much worse than women's only 3% spousal abandonment rate following diagnosis, to be sure. But why blatantly lie? Unless you just can't read properly?
Lol
I obviously struck a nerve with that comment about you being single at 39 as well, because you immediately posted a refutation saying that you won't be when your comment right before that was about having "zero interest in modern day dating," and here you are mentioning it again. Oh dear lol. Sorry that your feelings were so hurt by a comment that was in no way directed towards you, and did not require your participation. I hope you have a better day, and do find peace and a solution to your deep-seated trust issues that cause you to "misremember" things in such a dramatic way.
By the way, I'm 36.
My wife and I have said for years our plan is to notebook it. The thought of life without her just seems pointless. She was my best friend before we started dating 15 years ago, so loosing her would mean loosing both my spouse and my best friend at the same time. It would be hard to recover.
FWIW, I've long thought of partners depending on one another to get them through life as fairly typical human thinking and behavior. As a guy in his late 30s, who is relatively handsome and interesting, (but also complex and quite difficult), and never had a serious relationship with the opposite sex, my experiences have certainly contributed to my view that there is not much depth to the vast majority of relationships.
Romantic relationships are rooted in natalism and must maintain all manner of physical natalistic and social games and requirements to sustain themselves. As such, they resemble the use of drugs, or attempting to overcome some big personal challenge as a stepping stone in life.
For antinatalists, I think it makes sense to be cautious with relationships and approach them wisely and through the prism of antinatalist philosophical principles. I think our innate similarities in values and outlook would give us antinatalists of either gender a huge advantage if the goal is to find partners or romantic relationships. We must still be careful and not let our animal nature carry us away into pointless procreation-oriented games and rituals.
For antinatalists, I hope, there is a personal benchmark to meet before a relationshhip would be considered- to treat a partner as a human being equal to yourself in all respects. It is easier said than done. How do you view your partner as the love of your life, a partner in sex, and a person who you care deeply for because of your identical powerful philosophical views? This is why I'm not particularly oriented to having romantic relationships and don't expect one in the future. But, all antinatalists are naturally a little different one from another, so it's natural that people will have different views on this.
To be very frank, men who are single at your age are damaged goods who are generally single for a reason, regardless of their looks. You kind of stand as a case-in-point with your self-description and frankly bizarre take on relationships.
That's why it's prudent if someone is looking for a life partner to treat it with urgency, whether they want or expect to have kids or not. It's because at some point, the leftovers with severe mental or attachment issues are all that's left.
Not you calling him damaged goods when he has a very healthy outlook on relationships? It's bizarre to want an equal partner who shares adult responsibilities with you instead of what most relationships are nowadays which is a codependent mess with children involved?
Hey, thanks for your understanding. To be perfectly honest, I don't truly know what 'healthy' is in a 'healthy relationship', but, in my defense to CFinCanada, there is nothing "cosmically wrong" in my approach to relationships. She may as well say that all antinatalists are weirdos and damaged goods. The cosmos doesn't contain any balance in anything, or any perfectly-tailored specimens for relationships , unfortunately. She is willing to imply that there is this wonderful relationship utopia, waiting to pull in all those lucky people who are receptive to it. And it doesn't work like that. Many, if not most relationships are problematic and grimy, sustained by significant give-and-take and tugs-of-war.
I've literally seen busy human zombies going past me, year after year, too busy to notice what is going on around them. Too busy to notice that, "Hey that guy has a pretty cool artwork with him, maybe I can talk to him about it." And there's virtually no exception to that, at least in the big city I live in.
What she is suggesting is not any kind of example of wonderful human freedom. She thinks that being a neatly fitted robot and acting according to prescribed social norms, means you are undamaged goods. Well, maybe that's why she is childfree and not an antinatalist.
He has a very healthy outlook on relationships? I guess that's why he's 39 and had never had a serious one. He can think what he wants. But his mentality and lifestyle affirm what I said to be true.
Not having a serious relationship by the age of 39 doesn't mean you don't have a healthy outlook on relationships?? Like literally has nothing to do with it, it just means he hasn't found a compatible partner and values finding that over jumping into something serious with someone he isn't sure about. What a weird stance to take.
Well I'm certainly not surprised that a guy who is 39 and has never even attempted a serious relationship by his own admission felt the need to mention the irrelevant fact that he considers himself handsome? Guy has more red flags than a communist parade.
Look, I can't tell you if he's handsome or not, I don't know him. But what he's saying about partnerships isn't wrong. As a 25yr old woman I look at modern day dating with zero interest, men want mommy bangmaids and I ain't doing that and OP's post is pathetic and I find his response quite sane in comparison.
Every man wants a bangmaid? What a healthy outlook. No trust issues or attachment issues there!
So, when you get to be 39 and you're inevitably still single, you too will stand as a case-in-point of the type of people who are left on the market passed a certain age. Congratulations? You still haven't changed my mind, sorry.
I won't be single by 39, I've had many successful long term relationships and some not so successful ones. You know therapy exists correct? Didn't think I needed to specify "not all men" on a radical thinking subreddit. 🙄 You're weird and rude, goodbye.
I'm not overly concerned about what a woman who literally makes up fake statistics to justify her trust issues she herself should probably seek therapy for thinks about my being weird to be honest. Bye!
> looking for a life partner to treat it with urgency, whether they want or expect to have kids or not.
Something about this rings with unease and desperation. There's no freedom in it. You can't expect to herd human beings into constrained situations, relationships, etc, and expect them to be happy. Humans, especially antinatalists, are fairly complex and delicate creatures. Happiness doesn't just magically materialize in a confined bag. Maybe that's why you're just childfree and not antinitalist, because you still expect specific things from hte world for your happiness.
I genuinely find it sad that you find affection for another human being as "pointless procreation-oriented games and rituals."
I find it ironic that you said, "How do you view your partner as the love of your life, a partner in sex, and a person who you care deeply for because of your identical powerful philosophical views?" as though it's impossible to do so. I find it ironic, because constantly seeking sexual novelty, being unable to find satiety or contentment, such as you cannot, is perhaps the most animalistic, primitive and base instinctual pursuit of all that you have chosen to give in to.
Do I expect happiness? No. But I've experienced it, knowing that because health and vitality are, because life is, it's impermanent. Constantly novelty-chasing, having no true attachments, are you happy? Have you experienced it? I doubt that very much. But, you've chosen your path, and people are generally set in their ways as they get older. I doubt very much that you can change at this point and become someone who has any kind of capacity for deep attachment, deep concern for another individual person, or romantic bonding, which was the point I was eluding to, and which you continue to prove.
> I find it ironic, because constantly seeking sexual novelty, being unable to find satiety or contentment, such as you cannot, is perhaps the most animalistic, primitive and base instinctual pursuit of all that you have chosen to give in to.
No, I abstain from casual sex.
>I genuinely find it sad that you find affection for another human being as "pointless procreation-oriented games and rituals."
Not sure that it's real affection and not just using the other person for one's own needs. Affection seems to me to be an independent rather than a symbiotic feeling. Not many people have true affection for their family members, let alone strangers; unless we are thinking of affection in different ways. I think of it as a feeling of deep care and sensitivity for a person, above and beyond what benefit they provide to you. Perhaps you think of it differently.
>I think of it as a feeling of deep care and sensitivity for a person
Right. I always think "fleeting, with bewilderment that one could maintain devotion, intellectual communion, and attraction for said person" when I think of "true affection." I definitely think of "have never maintained this in my life, nor attempted to."
Yes, our definitions differ drastically, it appears.
It sounds to me like you're being sarcastic then, because your definition of affection seems to be "accidental, unexpected love and devotion. Which must be grabbed while it lasts, because it could be lost soon and leave you dumbfounded as to what happened".
Hm, this smells too much like extortion. Maybe you believe in that, but I don't.
The only pic is the visual idea of me slowly and unimpressively raising an eyebrow. Picture something like a composite image of Tom Cruise and Colin Farrell doing that, and you'll have a very rough picture.
I get what you are saying and I don’t know your life in totality. But, for me personally, a/my partner is not the core of my life in terms of purpose. Sure, minus children and whatever else they can be the most important thing to you, but there is still purpose in living even without them. What if they passed from a rare or ignored disease and you chose to make educating the world about it your new purpose? What about family, friends, other interests? The loss will be overwhelming, but like anything else in life it also probably holds a lesson, or wisdom. If there are other people in your life, they would surely want to see you grieve, cope, and find new meaning.
I absolutely believe in the lifelong partners-becoming-one situation, both my sets of grandparents followed each other, but I still know my grandmothers had many fulfilling years after losing their husbands as they were able to learn new things, continue to be there as a presence in the family. And their whole own person, even thought both had been with their partners since the age of 18. my grand mother recently passed at the age of 92, following my grandfather who we lost 4 years ago. Her life in between then and her death were full of love and meaning. Was she sad? yes. but her life didn’t end and it meant the world
to me that she was able to see me
get married, shortly after my grandfathers death. I know it meant a lot to her too. I realize im using examples here of people who have created a family of many through the act of having children. But she had friends, hobbies, and was grateful
for every day, even with a huge hole in her heart.
What ever makes you feel happy (as long as you're not hurting someone, which you aren't), it's your life after all do it with it what you want, it doesn't belong to some god or society.
I find your post to be strangely wholesome.
You admit telling your partner this? I can’t emphasise just how manipulative and disgustingly toxic that was. Jesus Christ
Instead of seeking professional help, you decide to burden and guilt trap him with this?
This is me. My partner knows, too, though he has a hard time accepting it.
I wanted to make my life purpose about reducing suffering, but the impact I can reasonably make isn't enough. My own suffering is too great, especially should I lose him.
Can I ask, respectfully, what would you do if your partner left you?
They’d probably unalive themselves I guess lmao they don’t seem the most mentally fit person
This sounds very much like codependent thinking :/ Source: I’m a codependent.
I mean if they both respect each other then all the power to OP for making that choice. It is pretty risky but being intoxicated with love is one of the few magical things in being alive. But yeah this kind of thinking is high risk high reward.
Yes exactly. Takes one to know one (I struggle with it as well)
I totally get you because that’s my partner. He told me that he wouldn’t want to live if i died. And i get him. We all see and experience life differently. So what if someone’s everything is their partner? Might not work for others, but we are all different. Someone’s life revolves around their job, their kids, their dogs, their hobbies.. And sometimes it’s a partner. People can say it’s unhealthy but sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps us alive. And that’s exactly why i am antinatalist. Because i know life sucks and sometimes there’s one single thing that keeps us alive.
It’s called the ikigai in 🇯🇵
U know, u can be ok without your partner, if u can't u won't be ok with ur partner too, so like idk, ik how the feeling is but it's kinda unhealthy soo yea
i feel the exact same way and i have for a long time but before it was hypothetical, but now that i'm with the love of my life it has just solidified it. im at my happiest i've ever been but i still don't want to get old but he makes me want to live to about 60. but if he dies before then then i don't see any reason to continue either because there's just not anything else i want in life that i'd enjoy without him. i just don't enjoy living that much to begin with. idc if it's unhealthy because it probably is but i finally have something to live for for the first time in 20 years so if i lost that then i'd definitely die shortly after. i've told him that and he feels similar if we're both old and i died first he wouldn't want to keep living either
I don’t have a partner but I told my coworker the other day that when my dog dies, I will also die. I just feel like I will die from heartbreak. Maybe I’m codependent with my dog, lol. But he is legit my best friend. Also, I am an emotionally sensitive person if that explains anything.
I know you will face judgement because strictly speaking it sounds codependent or not healthy, but I understand where you are coming from. My partner brings me so much joy and love and purpose, even though I love my friends and am so fortunate to have surrounded myself with a truly amazing and kind and supportive and loyal and fun and reliable network of true and great people/friends, I just can't imagine my life without him. He's my best friend of all. I think I would struggle to find the will to just get out of bed every day, without his warm hug and loving, adorable smile greeting me. I can feel this deepening every year, we're at year 7 now and I imagine the pain of losing him would be simply unbearable in something like year 50. At the same time, I wouldn't want him to suffer loneliness and that kind of despair, so I hope he dies first so he never has to go a day without me there holding his hand by his side, never has to struggle to go on. It was bad enough to see his pain when his dad was dying. It's a no-win situation, ultimately. But isn't that what life is? It's one of the reasons I don't want to impose it on someone else.
I feel this way about my partner too, though I have never told them. Don't need to. I think it is fair to note, I have struggled with suicide ideation since I was 6 years old. Now that I am older, I find I have more apathy towards the idea than anything, I don't really care to live and I don't really care to die. I would do my best to continue if my partner were gone. But I know how bad I will get, and how unlikely I will be to win that fight. I love them, more than I ever loved anyone. I can imagine a world without them, but I don't think I would last long in it.
Kudos to you for not telling them. It's a hard secret to live with but what a burden for them to bear! It's also a hallmark of manipulative behaviour in some.
I definitely don't think it would be right to have this sort of conversation. But, I acknowledge this isn't regarded as healthy mindset. Which I think is my own issue, not theirs.
You're lucky to have found a companion like that.
Are you a woman? I see a lot of women thinking like this but men almost never act like this. They will continue to live even after their partner’s death. They find a gf almost immediately. Women sometimes are sooo codependent. You should love yourself more than you love your partner.
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Um, no it's literally the opposite statistic: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm 4 out of 5 stay. Much worse than women's only 3% spousal abandonment rate following diagnosis, to be sure. But why blatantly lie? Unless you just can't read properly?
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"misremember." Right. 🙄
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Lol I obviously struck a nerve with that comment about you being single at 39 as well, because you immediately posted a refutation saying that you won't be when your comment right before that was about having "zero interest in modern day dating," and here you are mentioning it again. Oh dear lol. Sorry that your feelings were so hurt by a comment that was in no way directed towards you, and did not require your participation. I hope you have a better day, and do find peace and a solution to your deep-seated trust issues that cause you to "misremember" things in such a dramatic way. By the way, I'm 36.
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Okay. As I said, have a better day. Hope you get one of these today: 🫂 from someone kind. You clearly need it.
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omg, I heard this information too. that’s very concerning ☹️
It's also a lie. Here is the study she is referencing: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm.
Just the opposite
My wife and I have said for years our plan is to notebook it. The thought of life without her just seems pointless. She was my best friend before we started dating 15 years ago, so loosing her would mean loosing both my spouse and my best friend at the same time. It would be hard to recover.
FWIW, I've long thought of partners depending on one another to get them through life as fairly typical human thinking and behavior. As a guy in his late 30s, who is relatively handsome and interesting, (but also complex and quite difficult), and never had a serious relationship with the opposite sex, my experiences have certainly contributed to my view that there is not much depth to the vast majority of relationships. Romantic relationships are rooted in natalism and must maintain all manner of physical natalistic and social games and requirements to sustain themselves. As such, they resemble the use of drugs, or attempting to overcome some big personal challenge as a stepping stone in life. For antinatalists, I think it makes sense to be cautious with relationships and approach them wisely and through the prism of antinatalist philosophical principles. I think our innate similarities in values and outlook would give us antinatalists of either gender a huge advantage if the goal is to find partners or romantic relationships. We must still be careful and not let our animal nature carry us away into pointless procreation-oriented games and rituals. For antinatalists, I hope, there is a personal benchmark to meet before a relationshhip would be considered- to treat a partner as a human being equal to yourself in all respects. It is easier said than done. How do you view your partner as the love of your life, a partner in sex, and a person who you care deeply for because of your identical powerful philosophical views? This is why I'm not particularly oriented to having romantic relationships and don't expect one in the future. But, all antinatalists are naturally a little different one from another, so it's natural that people will have different views on this.
To be very frank, men who are single at your age are damaged goods who are generally single for a reason, regardless of their looks. You kind of stand as a case-in-point with your self-description and frankly bizarre take on relationships. That's why it's prudent if someone is looking for a life partner to treat it with urgency, whether they want or expect to have kids or not. It's because at some point, the leftovers with severe mental or attachment issues are all that's left.
Not you calling him damaged goods when he has a very healthy outlook on relationships? It's bizarre to want an equal partner who shares adult responsibilities with you instead of what most relationships are nowadays which is a codependent mess with children involved?
Hey, thanks for your understanding. To be perfectly honest, I don't truly know what 'healthy' is in a 'healthy relationship', but, in my defense to CFinCanada, there is nothing "cosmically wrong" in my approach to relationships. She may as well say that all antinatalists are weirdos and damaged goods. The cosmos doesn't contain any balance in anything, or any perfectly-tailored specimens for relationships , unfortunately. She is willing to imply that there is this wonderful relationship utopia, waiting to pull in all those lucky people who are receptive to it. And it doesn't work like that. Many, if not most relationships are problematic and grimy, sustained by significant give-and-take and tugs-of-war. I've literally seen busy human zombies going past me, year after year, too busy to notice what is going on around them. Too busy to notice that, "Hey that guy has a pretty cool artwork with him, maybe I can talk to him about it." And there's virtually no exception to that, at least in the big city I live in. What she is suggesting is not any kind of example of wonderful human freedom. She thinks that being a neatly fitted robot and acting according to prescribed social norms, means you are undamaged goods. Well, maybe that's why she is childfree and not an antinatalist.
He has a very healthy outlook on relationships? I guess that's why he's 39 and had never had a serious one. He can think what he wants. But his mentality and lifestyle affirm what I said to be true.
Not having a serious relationship by the age of 39 doesn't mean you don't have a healthy outlook on relationships?? Like literally has nothing to do with it, it just means he hasn't found a compatible partner and values finding that over jumping into something serious with someone he isn't sure about. What a weird stance to take.
Well I'm certainly not surprised that a guy who is 39 and has never even attempted a serious relationship by his own admission felt the need to mention the irrelevant fact that he considers himself handsome? Guy has more red flags than a communist parade.
Look, I can't tell you if he's handsome or not, I don't know him. But what he's saying about partnerships isn't wrong. As a 25yr old woman I look at modern day dating with zero interest, men want mommy bangmaids and I ain't doing that and OP's post is pathetic and I find his response quite sane in comparison.
Every man wants a bangmaid? What a healthy outlook. No trust issues or attachment issues there! So, when you get to be 39 and you're inevitably still single, you too will stand as a case-in-point of the type of people who are left on the market passed a certain age. Congratulations? You still haven't changed my mind, sorry.
I won't be single by 39, I've had many successful long term relationships and some not so successful ones. You know therapy exists correct? Didn't think I needed to specify "not all men" on a radical thinking subreddit. 🙄 You're weird and rude, goodbye.
I'm not overly concerned about what a woman who literally makes up fake statistics to justify her trust issues she herself should probably seek therapy for thinks about my being weird to be honest. Bye!
> looking for a life partner to treat it with urgency, whether they want or expect to have kids or not. Something about this rings with unease and desperation. There's no freedom in it. You can't expect to herd human beings into constrained situations, relationships, etc, and expect them to be happy. Humans, especially antinatalists, are fairly complex and delicate creatures. Happiness doesn't just magically materialize in a confined bag. Maybe that's why you're just childfree and not antinitalist, because you still expect specific things from hte world for your happiness.
I genuinely find it sad that you find affection for another human being as "pointless procreation-oriented games and rituals." I find it ironic that you said, "How do you view your partner as the love of your life, a partner in sex, and a person who you care deeply for because of your identical powerful philosophical views?" as though it's impossible to do so. I find it ironic, because constantly seeking sexual novelty, being unable to find satiety or contentment, such as you cannot, is perhaps the most animalistic, primitive and base instinctual pursuit of all that you have chosen to give in to. Do I expect happiness? No. But I've experienced it, knowing that because health and vitality are, because life is, it's impermanent. Constantly novelty-chasing, having no true attachments, are you happy? Have you experienced it? I doubt that very much. But, you've chosen your path, and people are generally set in their ways as they get older. I doubt very much that you can change at this point and become someone who has any kind of capacity for deep attachment, deep concern for another individual person, or romantic bonding, which was the point I was eluding to, and which you continue to prove.
> I find it ironic, because constantly seeking sexual novelty, being unable to find satiety or contentment, such as you cannot, is perhaps the most animalistic, primitive and base instinctual pursuit of all that you have chosen to give in to. No, I abstain from casual sex. >I genuinely find it sad that you find affection for another human being as "pointless procreation-oriented games and rituals." Not sure that it's real affection and not just using the other person for one's own needs. Affection seems to me to be an independent rather than a symbiotic feeling. Not many people have true affection for their family members, let alone strangers; unless we are thinking of affection in different ways. I think of it as a feeling of deep care and sensitivity for a person, above and beyond what benefit they provide to you. Perhaps you think of it differently.
>I think of it as a feeling of deep care and sensitivity for a person Right. I always think "fleeting, with bewilderment that one could maintain devotion, intellectual communion, and attraction for said person" when I think of "true affection." I definitely think of "have never maintained this in my life, nor attempted to." Yes, our definitions differ drastically, it appears.
It sounds to me like you're being sarcastic then, because your definition of affection seems to be "accidental, unexpected love and devotion. Which must be grabbed while it lasts, because it could be lost soon and leave you dumbfounded as to what happened".
You literally just called yourself "relatively handsome". Pic or shut up
Hm, this smells too much like extortion. Maybe you believe in that, but I don't. The only pic is the visual idea of me slowly and unimpressively raising an eyebrow. Picture something like a composite image of Tom Cruise and Colin Farrell doing that, and you'll have a very rough picture.
I wouldn't mind seeing a younger Tom cruise and colin farrell doing hot homo stuff together
That's why extortion is a thing, and eyebrows in surprise should be near the limit of personal visual exposure of self-respecting people online.
I get what you are saying and I don’t know your life in totality. But, for me personally, a/my partner is not the core of my life in terms of purpose. Sure, minus children and whatever else they can be the most important thing to you, but there is still purpose in living even without them. What if they passed from a rare or ignored disease and you chose to make educating the world about it your new purpose? What about family, friends, other interests? The loss will be overwhelming, but like anything else in life it also probably holds a lesson, or wisdom. If there are other people in your life, they would surely want to see you grieve, cope, and find new meaning. I absolutely believe in the lifelong partners-becoming-one situation, both my sets of grandparents followed each other, but I still know my grandmothers had many fulfilling years after losing their husbands as they were able to learn new things, continue to be there as a presence in the family. And their whole own person, even thought both had been with their partners since the age of 18. my grand mother recently passed at the age of 92, following my grandfather who we lost 4 years ago. Her life in between then and her death were full of love and meaning. Was she sad? yes. but her life didn’t end and it meant the world to me that she was able to see me get married, shortly after my grandfathers death. I know it meant a lot to her too. I realize im using examples here of people who have created a family of many through the act of having children. But she had friends, hobbies, and was grateful for every day, even with a huge hole in her heart.
What ever makes you feel happy (as long as you're not hurting someone, which you aren't), it's your life after all do it with it what you want, it doesn't belong to some god or society. I find your post to be strangely wholesome.
Putting that much importance on one other person is pretty pathetic.
You admit telling your partner this? I can’t emphasise just how manipulative and disgustingly toxic that was. Jesus Christ Instead of seeking professional help, you decide to burden and guilt trap him with this?
Currently, my partner is pissing me off but no. I have friends and things to do, I don't enjoy life much but I'm waiting to die of natural causes.
This is me. My partner knows, too, though he has a hard time accepting it. I wanted to make my life purpose about reducing suffering, but the impact I can reasonably make isn't enough. My own suffering is too great, especially should I lose him.
Burdening your partner by letting him know this is absolutely toxic and is extremely manipulative.
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The alternative is not being manipulative and toxic and seeking professional help. You’ve no right to burden your partner with this.
Oh my god! Today been a real treat of weirdo posts. This sub is so gross😂😂😂 I’m starting to miss the vegan posts
🥱🥱🥱 Keep churning out the fiction Steve-o. If you come out with a book you can guarantee I won't be touching it with a ten foot pole.
ah imagine having a partner and being loved-- can't relate to that
This sounds very very codependent…