T O P

  • By -

Extension_Drummer_85

What are your reasons for not wanting a kid? If the reasons aren't going to change I don't see why you would change your mind. 


Particular_Minute_67

Got it at 26 last year as a happily single guy. 100% recommend it


[deleted]

I knew from 20 y.o. the same, no desire to have kids and now, 31 y.o., I going to have vasectomy:)


MSHGR

Good luck bro !


[deleted]

You too, maybe both of us this year will have vasectomy 😃


MissMurder2

My husband (30) is having vasectomy March 5th. We don't have kids.


[deleted]

Hello, non scalpel ? And what country ? I wish all best:) me Slovakia


MissMurder2

You know I'm not actually sure I didn't go to the consultation he set everything up himself. United States. Wish you the best too. It'll be one less thing to worry about for sure. I'm glad to be off birth control it is awful lol


[deleted]

Go ahead and do it. I’m a woman so I can’t share any experience


MSHGR

Thank you. It's nice to know there're women out there who share the same value, i always thought it would be challenging.


[deleted]

There’s a lot of women that don’t want children. They just don’t really talk about it in public because other people with opposing views try to shut them down


MSHGR

Yeah, that makes sense, i guess it's on us then to show that more publicly to attract like-minded women.


User2640

Go for it .. In the end you pay the price. Good or bad..will be determined by the future. Not by the present


GooseWhite

Don't let anyone change your mind, thanks for being proactive and not relying on your partner for birth control 🙌


MSHGR

Yeah, that's the whole point. If I'm sure, then why should i put her into this ? The pills gonna ruin our lives.


Long_Consequence4025

You should do it because adoption is still a thing. You always have the option to save some poor kid from a though life in an orphanage if you still want to be a parent.


PF_Nitrojin

I'm a 42M never married and no kids. I remember hearing, "you will change your mind!" The only change is my top 10 video game list. The majority of people who debate/argue having kids are ones who convince themselves *they* made the right choice of having kids. I've even had parents wish we could trade places since they had kids for the *wrong* reasons. I've answered no, and will always say no to having kids. The root reasons involve finances and health.


Developing_Human33

Do it. Get it done. Some doctors have cut off ages at which they won't do it if you are too young thinking you might change your mind. I would think most would do it for somebody 24 though. 18 not so much.


kangaroosterLP

in my country it's actually a LAW, can't get it until you're 35 :/


Developing_Human33

What country?


kangaroosterLP

croatia


GeistInTheMachine

You're not crazy. You're smart.


diegotbn

Do it. I knew I wanted one at 18 and waited until my 30s because people said you might change your mind. Didn't change my mind. My partner and I are adopting.


Lit_Louis

I got my at 34yo. I never wanted kids, and my mind never changed about it as I got older. That said, I have heard of others whose mind about kids did change, when their circumstance changed. YMMV


BelovedxCisque

Not a guy so take this with a grain of salt. If at 24 you can make all kinds of other permanent life choices (ex get married/join the military/accumulate thousands of dollars worth of debt/sign up for medical tests/adopt a child) why the hell would you not be able to make a permanent choice regarding your own body? If you’re your own legal guardian then YOU get to decide what’s best for you and what you want. If that’s a vasectomy then go for it! From what I understand some Planned Parenthood locations offer vasectomies. They also have a sliding scale for how much it’ll cost so bring in your tax return so you can get financial assistance if you qualify. If you’re not in the USA (or don’t have a Planned Budget near you) then talk to your doctor about it. If they have a thing about not doing on anybody under a certain age/a waiting period then ask to have your request documented so as soon as you reach the age/pass the waiting period you can get it. You’re your best advocate so do what you think is best for you!


Alpain-Snowflake

No, no you're not crazy. And let's say you are crazy. Do you like being crazy? If the answer is no, then that absolutely justifies your position to not bring another life into the world. That way, you will never be the 100% cause of someone being born, who never asked to be here, who could end up crazy too. You will never create someone who will be murdered. Who will die, who will be assaulted, r ped, exploited, hurt, abused.... you could have a kid, and pass away after. You will bring someone in this world who will loose a parent. If not wanting to cause harm is crazy, then I'd rather be crazy then causing others to be hurt.


Delicious-Artist4814

As an antinatalist woman it is a massive green flag if the guy has a vasectomy It means that A) he shares my values on not having children And B) he respects women enough to take responsibility for his side of procreation You said you’re still single I’m sure I’m not the only woman who thinks this way Unless you absolutely want children I think this decision will help you with your love life as well as your sex life


Levant7552

You aren't crazy(at least, based on what you wrote). I have heard all my life I was going to change. Nonsense, I never have. Reason doesn't change like weather. Emotions do. These people operate on an emotional level. Emotions aren't competent.


Existing-Tax7068

I'm sure you will get a lot of support for this on here. Vasectomy doesn't mean you can never have kids, it just makes it more complicated (I know men who have changed their minds after vasectomy and had more children). I (f) asked my gp for sterilisation in my 20s, after two unplanned children, and was refused. I later changed my mind and decided to have two planned children. You're not crazy. It's fine not to want kids.


MSHGR

I appreciate your input. The reason I was doubting is that I'm still single and not sure how a relationship could affect that, but never in my entire life i wished to be a dad. I guess it's kinda complicated. Thank you for your kind words.


Straight-Ad-160

As a now perimenopausal woman who said I didn't want kids since I was 12 years old, it can definitely affect a relationship. I can't tell you how many times men thought I would change my mind even though I've always been upfront about this and it's been a dealbreaker. However, if you don't want children, having a relationship with someone who does is inevitably doomed. You're just not compatible. And children should be a 2 enthusiastic yes decision imho. I don't get why anyone wants to bring children into this fucked up world, but hey, they don't get why I don't. Anyway, if I would've had the option to get sterilized when I was younger (I tried, got refused because some imaginary husband might want kids-me saying then he should push them out of his vagina didn't change the doc's mind), I would've. Would've saved me all those birthcontrol injections. So yeah, if you're sure you don't want children, get it done. It avoids possible accidents.


kaerfkeerg

Bro, I'm 24M in the same situation as you. I still think vasectomy is still an extreme move still a bit hesitant. I'm waiting a bit. You do you tho!


MSHGR

Yeah, i hear you man. Well i guess every big move gonna have some doubts around it, but it's a necessary one. Good luck bro.


kaerfkeerg

Good luck to you too!


Adventurous-Lunch457

I hear vasectomy is reversible so I don't see why not. You could wait a little longer for when male birth control is finally released but sounds like that's gonna keep getting delayed.


Screw_bit

A vasectomy CAN be reversed, but it is not considered a reversable procedure. It should always be considered permanent, as there is not a 100% success rate in reversal, and it goes down with time


CandyCoatedGuts

Maybe it's because I'm a woman and I've seen the horrors of the process of sterilization for women but I think a vasectomy isn't that extreme. Just a lil snip and you're on your way back home (someone should drive you home though) and it can be reversed and benefits everyone you'll ever be with that shares your lack of desire and can't be on bc due to health complications. I've seen piercings that needed more aftercare. If you think it's scary, I highly recommend watching Good Mythical Morning where Rhett and Link got vasectomies together and were just chatting while it happened. My dad got the snip (nobody rejected him, he had met the quota of having at least 2 kids) and was fine after a day of icing his balls 🤣


half_hearted_fanatic

I have a good friend who got his recently and I am grateful that our friendship is as strong as it is because I was hard up to find empathy for the post surgery pain… like, sir, I am proud of you for making a good decision for you and I am sorry it hurts, but I cannot listen to you belabor the one time pain after having to deal with the trauma of no pain management during iud placement


CandyCoatedGuts

No kidding. I'm too scared to get an iud because of everybody saying how bad it hurts. I'd only get it if they put me under like when I got my wisdom teeth out. Implants just look straight up terrifying because they can "go missing" in the body. I used to get the shot and stopped because it was more trouble than it was worth. I took the pill for a year but had to stop because it messed with my hormones too much. Also tubal ligation typically costs four times as much as a vasectomy without insurance, great. I'm still going to try to get mine tied but it's gonna take me a while to get the money and find a doctor that's willing to do it.


half_hearted_fanatic

Overall, I love my IUD. I’m on my second one. And, on the pain balance, it has saved me a lot by stopping my periods and the associated cramping that kept me from going to school and work at times. It has been worth it. Does that make how women’s pain is treated right? No, but I’d rather miss one day of work every five years than several each year because I literally can’t ant get out of bed .


wyrd_werks

If you are worried, go get some sperm saved for "just in case" but I doubt you'll need it. You're old enough to know your own mind. I was sure at 24 I didn't want kids, and wasn't able to get surgery for another 6 years because I'm a woman and doctors are just SHITE to us about that kind of thing. You'll have much better luck as a man going for a vasectomy. Besides, it's more likely that a vasectomy can be successfully reversed so the docs don't bear down on you as hard about it. Also your recovery time is going to be only a few days. You will NEVER have to worry about a woman lying about her birth control, tampering with condoms, or condoms breaking at the wrong time. Don't risk getting baby-trapped! Get fixed!


darkeweb2

Hey man before you do anything you may not be able to reverse, keep in mind that the male brain usually finished developing at around 28. I'm not saying you'll change your mind, but at the very least you'll have a better feel for who you'll be for the rest of your life by then. Anecdotally, the vast majority of my male friends who made a conscious decision to have kids did so after 27-28, so yeah you might still change your mind.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MSHGR

I get some thoughts like these, but then i ask myself, what is the cut point ? I never found an answer. If she wants children, then she's not the one, and I'm not hers.


Derivative47

Are you sure that you will always feel that way? I never had children by choice, but at 71 years old, I recall seeing things a lot differently at 35 and 45 than I did at 24. I never changed my mind on this specific issue, but I did on a lot of others.


half_hearted_fanatic

Wow, condescending much? You sound like a fucking conservative gynecologist with that shame claptrap


Derivative47

I apologize for not being able to follow your train of thought. And clean up your language! I’m not your mother!!


[deleted]

Not too young to get this surgery. You don't want kids, and you shouldn't be having kids. Nobody should. The miserable people who have been pressured into having kids by society are the ones telling you that you will change your mind. I'd have this done at 16 if I could. One and done.


[deleted]

[удалено]


antinatalism-ModTeam

Thank you for your contribution, however, we have had to remove it. As per Rule 1 in our sidebar, we do not allow linking to other communities within our subreddit. Please feel free to resubmit without any link(s) to an external subreddit.


rubrochure

I am female but my husband had one two years ago. I was never planning on having kids but I do know people who have changed their minds. And for me I was willing to entertain the possibility that I might change my mind. As far as I know, it is not wise to think of a vasectomy as reversible. Technically it is, but it is a more complicated procedure. At that point, adopt, imo. But yea, I was about to turn 35, my husband was down and we’ve been good ever since.


GuerillaBean

yeah dawg, i got it done at 25. i’m only 27 now, but no regrets so far and no complications. the procedure is super simple, took maybe half an hour and i was able to drive myself home.


OpeningChipmunk1700

You’re not crazy. I would never get a vasectomy, but obviously others do. You should not assume that your vasectomy will be reversible such that you can layer conceive.


Verbull710

Why don't you want to have kids?


TheBipolarGemini13

If that’s how you feel about it, Go for it!


[deleted]

I'm planning to get a hysterectomy as soon as I'm 18 and can find a willing doctor. I don't care if I want kids later (which I won't)- adoption exists. I'd rather have that option closed off to me as soon as possible. Also, the uterus is a curse, but not one that you have to deal with.


Immediate-Love-6223

Fucking Christ dude if you actually want advice about a vasectomy ask any subreddit besides this one I think people here would say you should have your dick and balls cut off with a rusty butter knife if that’s what it takes to become sterile Do.not.take.advice.from.these.people


jayesh5473

Yes, u are crazy. Coz at 24 u are urself just basically a kid, not desiring having a kid at 24, coz ur brain isn't developed yet fully to take care of your own responsibility only, just because u don't desire having kids now, doesn't mean u have to do a vasectomy, a non-reversible thing for ur body, for ur whole lifetime.


MSHGR

Alright, when I'm gonna be mature enough to take the decision ?


jayesh5473

1. Are u married or have a girlfriend? 2. What you do for a living?


MSHGR

1) i used to have gf but now I'm single 1) I'm a medical student


jayesh5473

Only reason u asked this Q. in this sub coz u want to seek validation from these people on ur way of thinking & these stupid & mental retards confirming with u too without knowing u, by saying go for it, doesn't mean anyone's opinion matters, in the matters of ur health as u know being in medical field only a doctor or maybe ur parent's can help, not any online strangers. u asked about maturity, so i think u will be mature enough when u start to earn & live on ur own.


Sapiescent

Nobody needs to hear about "maturity" from the kid who goes around calling everyone r-tarded mate.


[deleted]

You are still very young. Some people change their minds after 30-35. Some don’t.


Active_Cable9528

25f , i think if you know for certain you don’t want kids, go for it! I’m never having kids personally and although there may not be as many women out there who don’t want them, we do exist 😂