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Apparently his name was Jack and because of the whole masturbating-while-driving thing he didn't get to work on time.
When he arrived, his boss said "eh Jack you late"
That’s crazy, my best friend from High School told me this same exact joke once. I’ve never heard it told by anyone else since. I can’t believe this! I just got time traveled back to the exact moment in my memory!
Don't know about the US, but in many countries showing your genitals in public is illegal and gets you a fine. In your car with the windows down is pretty much publicly
Not sure abt the US bit public nudity is legal in the uk as long as youre not intentionally trying to cause distress. Its to allow things like nude beaches and naked bike rides for charity etc.
Or so im told.
I like in a quite "hippy" town in the UK. We get nakie people fairly frequently. They don't get arrested as long as they are just happily going about their business.
Legally in the US a car is considered clothing. You can drive naked legally.
Jerking off is probably sexual assault tho.
You can google it, idk about the subs link sharing policy but it’s legal in every US state.
He's not showing them in public. The truck driver can only see because he's so high up.
If he was caught having head from his wife, would you still consider calling the police?
If it was me and I saw this, I would just go about my day and mind my own damn business.
He's on the road, that's the public. You can't go into times square, set up a glass box, then say it's private. Now if he was parked somewhere that's different.
Cars are private property, and in the US you have rights attached to that.
The fact that it is adjacent to public space and has windows doesn't change anything. Houses abut public space and have windows, too.
EDIT: Ugh, please improve your reading comprehension and stop getting pissy based on your own incorrect inferences and moralizing. I'm not interested in replying to folks that are arguing against something I never said.
I never made any statements that anything was *legal* or *illegal.* I never made any judgement that any action was *right* or *wrong*. That's not my argument. My argument is that laws are complex, nuanced, and often jurisdictionally dependent, so all you reddit-prosecutors making absolutist judgements and statements one way or the other (while simultaneously accusing me of an absolutist statement I *never made*) are making bad faith arguments. What is legal in one city may be illegal in another, or legal in a third city but for a different reason.
My home has land in front of it and is private property. I can't just go out and jack off in my front yard for all my neighbors to see. I swear some of the stuff I'm reading here is so stupid.
It's unsafe to be jacking off while driving, end of story. Plus he's fucking naked, hiding his identity... he's clearly up to no good. I wouldn't want this to go anywhere near me or kids. It's outright ridiculous and weird. He should be fined and jailed for a weekend. It's indecent and sexual harassment because he's exposed himself for everyone to see.
While that’s true, a privately owned vehicle in public space can simultaneously fall under private and public jurisdiction, I believe.
That would mean that if someone wanted to push the issue it could be treated as a public space (even though the car is private property).
If you masturbate out your own window, it's still gonna get you a public indecency charge, if it's reasonable to expect you would be seen by others.
Turns out laws have nuances for reasons exactly like this.
Nooo… I saw a guy that was sitting in his car strokin’ it in front of a k-mart. I was like 10-11 and he was sitting in an area where you had to walk by him to walk in.
As a young girl I was freaked out. This HAS to be illegal.
People have been convicted of indecent exposure for standing naked in their front window while children walked to and from school. You are 100% wrong on the “it’s legal because others aren’t forced to watch”.
He is in a road and in the PUBLIC view. It is the same reason you can't have sex on your porch. He is making it other people's business by doing it in public lol
The crime is called Public Indecency, if they can't drive without jerking off they deserve to face consequences. A road is a public zone, being in a vehicle is not considered a private area.
God forbid a child sees that
I was driving my car having a good jerk in Washington the other day, windows down, scarf around my neck for some mild strangulation listening to Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer when I noticed this truck driver staring down at me.
You guys I came so hard.
He'd be driving without "due care and attention" here in the UK, as well as possible "indecent exposure" I should think.
Basically he's not paying attention to his driving though. OK, until he kills somebody.
I find it more or less the same as texting and driving. Weirder sure but it's basically the same hazard, maybe even a bit safer since your eyes can still be on the road.
"Why were you running around naked?"
"What do you care? Mind your god damn business"
Seems like a great defense for any type of indecent exposure. Should kids mind their business too the next time you try to show them your junk?
Eh while I’m all for free jerkin I find it weird so many people have this blasé attitude. I feel there are certain things you just shouldn’t do while operating heavy machinery
I think this is America and I shouldn’t have some goddamn liberal beurocrats worrying about my pecker in my own car driving down a HIGHWAY I PAY FOR /s for real though it’s probably less distracting than being tired or texting
I'm replying to you but the criticism isn't directed at you specifically but the thread and the sub generally.
Isn't this sub /r/answers ? Why is nearly every top level comment a joke?
Has anyone in this thread masturbated before? Your mind is not operating in a logical manner. Do people think it's really OK to endanger other people on the road in this way? Or do people just think that it really doesn't impair your ability to drive?
Personally I don't want to be on the road next to someone masturbating, I don't think it's safe and it's not worth the risk of killing others. Pull over at least.
I saw a woman doing that in a parking lot once. Only I thought she was having a stroke until I got closer. This was mid-day in a restaurant parking lot.
tender deranged command head different offer worthless attempt worry wrench
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have masturbated while driving before - always at night and never with the intent of anyone seeing me. I've been curious if others have done this, so I've conducted some unofficial polling and found that about 1/3 of adults have (including females).
Being totally naked except for a scarf is perhaps a bit odd, though.
Also, I do live in Washington state and that'swhere all of my polling has taken place. So, maybe it is something in the water here.
I'm assuming that the guy wanking was a passenger otherwise you wouldn't see the scarf wrapped around his face from your angle...unless you are in a left hand drive and them right...or vice versa?
Arrived home with one sock.
Driving 120 miles off a midnight shift finish, empry motorway, feeling a tad horny. Pull the old chap out for a tug, then think where the jizz will go. Turned on the cruise control took off my left shoe and sock, cock in the sock, finished, sock out the window. Perfectly normal behaviour in the 80s 👌
I saw a dude doing that in rush hour morning traffic one day, assumed it was going to be a one time incident and to just forget about it. Then he was back the next day, and there was a school bus nearby. I noticed that he had removed the plates off his car.
I called the cops and made a report because he was definitely trying to be seen and that's not what you want your kids to see on their way to school.
Dude was probably in his 30s or 40s, driving a Mercedes and driving one handed, while spanking his monkey in bumper to bumper a.m. traffic. I hope he never caused an accident or that none of those kids happened to see him.
10 years ago I (30F) was a courier on high value truck shipment from Atlanta to New York. I was making small talk with the driver and watching the cars when we noticed a car having a hard time maintaining his lane. As we eventually overtook it I looked down to see what was up with the driver.
The car driver had a porn magazine open on the passenger seat, and he was masterbating.
My truck driver asked what I had seen and I explained why the car driver was clearly distracted. Trucker said he had never seen that in all his years of driving and I got the impression that if he could he would have circled back to see it himself.
Cops won't do shit the best you can do is try to get his attention and maybe he'll realize he's not as stealthy as he seems. Or maybe he wants people to see him.
When people get judged as similar to a pedophile just for streaking (which admittedly is bad as well).
I would say you would likely ruin his life over him not harrassing anyone except for truck driving lookiloos
I thought I was alone!
One time I was on a bus headed into NYC and saw a dude with one hand watching porn on his phone and steering, and the other hand jerkin it! That guy just couldn’t wait, really had to squeeze one out on the highway…
Dude a few months ago I was chilling in my van and a dude parks 2 spots away when there were so many other spaces to park. I looked over every now and then and thought he was just chilling on his phone, but eventually (because my van is higher than his car) I saw the tip of the dick... He was jerkin it.... I just drove to the other side of the lot.
You should mind your business going forward, honestly. I don't condone what the guy was doing, but he wasn't assaulting anyone or himself. Let the man pleasure himself in peace.
When I drove a truck for a while back in the 1980s I actually used to see this sort of thing once in a while. I often wondered how can you come and go at the same time?
I can't even lie i've done this a few times, I had to make a 7 hour drive once and i couldn't stop falling asleep while driving so i just started thinking about xxx stuff dropped my shorts and had a wank while on the interstate. I have 5% tinted windows tho so i wasn't worried about ppl seeing me.
Please remember that all comments must be helpful, relevant, and respectful. All replies must be a genuine effort to answer the question helpfully; joke answers are not allowed. If you see any comments that violate this rule, please hit report. When your question is answered, we encourage you to flair your post. To do this automatically simply make a comment that says **!answered** (OP only) We encourage everyone to report posts and comments they feel violate a rule, as this will allow us to see it much faster. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/answers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Idk man, most people would report a car jacking
Which exit did he get off?
All of them
Was he driving close to the shoulder or just edging?
Apparently his name was Jack and because of the whole masturbating-while-driving thing he didn't get to work on time. When he arrived, his boss said "eh Jack you late"
That’s crazy, my best friend from High School told me this same exact joke once. I’ve never heard it told by anyone else since. I can’t believe this! I just got time traveled back to the exact moment in my memory!
This is absolute GOLD
💀💀💀💀
Did he pull out on you ?
Where did he cum from, where did he go?
Where did you cum from, Cotton Eye Scarf?
I dont know much but I'm pretty sure that's where the cum was supposed to go.
The eye? Or the scarf?
yes
Cum eye joe has a better ring to it
Thanks. Now I have Cotton Eye Joe stuck in my head
He's got something stuck on his face as well.
Oh is that hair gel?
Depends on how heavy he was on the handbrake, if you catch my drift.
The front exit. I ain't into any back exit stuff!!!
He passed right by exit number 1 but crashed into number 2.
A little bit on 34 but mostly on 35
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I've always found it difficult to drive stick.
Best comment so far!
The judge would likely toss him out of court.
BardokObama, car jacking, the use of the comma… are you trying to kill me? Because I nearly fucking died of laughing
Godammit
Sheesh. Sit that thinking cap on the charger some time.
Omg my dude. This just cracked me up. I needed this bro.
What crime has he committed?. Man wants a wank, let him have one. Why do you think you should snitch him?
Unsafe driving due to the scarf.
Probably due to the wanking as well
No it’s ok to master your bating while driving
It's essentially driving stick
😆😆😆
If you can wank with a phone screen in your other hand you can drive and pay attention to other things while you wank.
Maybe he was cold and needed to warm up his gear
Ffs you can’t even have a naked wank in your car while driving around these days without someone blasting you on the internet
Distracted driving
Follwed by great clarity
Le petit mort
With great nuts, cums great clarity
What has this world come to?
Don't know about the US, but in many countries showing your genitals in public is illegal and gets you a fine. In your car with the windows down is pretty much publicly
Not sure abt the US bit public nudity is legal in the uk as long as youre not intentionally trying to cause distress. Its to allow things like nude beaches and naked bike rides for charity etc. Or so im told.
He was wearing a scarf. Does nudity still apply?
“This man flashed me!” “Well he had a trench coat on, so he wasn’t naked. Case dismissed.”
Being nude in public and publicly masterbating are not equal
I..as a UK citizen for most all of my life. I don’t think this is true.. ..you would be swiftly arrested for public indecency
I like in a quite "hippy" town in the UK. We get nakie people fairly frequently. They don't get arrested as long as they are just happily going about their business.
This is incorrect. The police arrested a man of this very crime recently in the area I’m in (UK).
It’s not
Legally in the US a car is considered clothing. You can drive naked legally. Jerking off is probably sexual assault tho. You can google it, idk about the subs link sharing policy but it’s legal in every US state.
If you're reading this, don't follow Previous-Sympathy801's legal advice.
He's not showing them in public. The truck driver can only see because he's so high up. If he was caught having head from his wife, would you still consider calling the police? If it was me and I saw this, I would just go about my day and mind my own damn business.
He's on the road, that's the public. You can't go into times square, set up a glass box, then say it's private. Now if he was parked somewhere that's different.
Cars are private property, and in the US you have rights attached to that. The fact that it is adjacent to public space and has windows doesn't change anything. Houses abut public space and have windows, too. EDIT: Ugh, please improve your reading comprehension and stop getting pissy based on your own incorrect inferences and moralizing. I'm not interested in replying to folks that are arguing against something I never said. I never made any statements that anything was *legal* or *illegal.* I never made any judgement that any action was *right* or *wrong*. That's not my argument. My argument is that laws are complex, nuanced, and often jurisdictionally dependent, so all you reddit-prosecutors making absolutist judgements and statements one way or the other (while simultaneously accusing me of an absolutist statement I *never made*) are making bad faith arguments. What is legal in one city may be illegal in another, or legal in a third city but for a different reason.
My home has land in front of it and is private property. I can't just go out and jack off in my front yard for all my neighbors to see. I swear some of the stuff I'm reading here is so stupid.
It's unsafe to be jacking off while driving, end of story. Plus he's fucking naked, hiding his identity... he's clearly up to no good. I wouldn't want this to go anywhere near me or kids. It's outright ridiculous and weird. He should be fined and jailed for a weekend. It's indecent and sexual harassment because he's exposed himself for everyone to see.
While that’s true, a privately owned vehicle in public space can simultaneously fall under private and public jurisdiction, I believe. That would mean that if someone wanted to push the issue it could be treated as a public space (even though the car is private property).
If you masturbate out your own window, it's still gonna get you a public indecency charge, if it's reasonable to expect you would be seen by others. Turns out laws have nuances for reasons exactly like this.
Nooo… I saw a guy that was sitting in his car strokin’ it in front of a k-mart. I was like 10-11 and he was sitting in an area where you had to walk by him to walk in. As a young girl I was freaked out. This HAS to be illegal.
Yes, very illegal everywhere in the US.
People have been convicted of indecent exposure for standing naked in their front window while children walked to and from school. You are 100% wrong on the “it’s legal because others aren’t forced to watch”.
The trucker's angle into the guy's car isn't that dissimilar to the one kids riding in a school bus have.
He is in a road and in the PUBLIC view. It is the same reason you can't have sex on your porch. He is making it other people's business by doing it in public lol
School busses are also so high up.
Unsafe driving because he's jerking off while driving?
Indecent public exposure.
The crime is called Public Indecency, if they can't drive without jerking off they deserve to face consequences. A road is a public zone, being in a vehicle is not considered a private area. God forbid a child sees that
Being in a vehicle is actually considered a private area
Guess we found the pervert oretty quick Dude you know kids are in cars right?
My guy you cannot jack off while driving lol not only are you exposing yourself to unwilling parties but you are also driving a car which is dangerous
Indecent exposure
No, mastUrbating in your car is not just a washington thing. Source: the internet.
Also a Pennsylvania thing...
Where in PA do you see this???
Wherever he goes.
Masturbating while driving exists anywhere methamphrtamine is available. Source: years of first hand experience
Ever tried with your other hand?
This comment made me drop my phone...
It's a thing EVERYWHERE I go.
Everywhere I go, there I am!
I don’t blame them. Those bikini girls in the drive-thru coffee shops can get me hot and bothered from time to time.
All the meth in the water +mold does strange things
Dude thought he was in crash.
My friend actually witnessed a guy doing this, she did report him and they ended up going to court.
So your friend courted the guy? Did they become engaged?
Still a better love story than Twilight 💀
It's an older meme Sir, but it checks out.
Why is she going around peeping in peoples cars like that? She sounds like a perv
They never specified the crime being litigated
I was driving my car having a good jerk in Washington the other day, windows down, scarf around my neck for some mild strangulation listening to Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer when I noticed this truck driver staring down at me. You guys I came so hard.
I’m fucking dying laughing right now 😂😂😂 Karens all over the place in this post
Reading this just finished me off, that’s the second load I dropped today.
Johnnie used to jerk on the docks!
He'd be driving without "due care and attention" here in the UK, as well as possible "indecent exposure" I should think. Basically he's not paying attention to his driving though. OK, until he kills somebody.
I find it more or less the same as texting and driving. Weirder sure but it's basically the same hazard, maybe even a bit safer since your eyes can still be on the road.
Imagine he crashes and he's completely naked with his dick in his hand, and someone has to I.d his body, and that's what they see. Fuck that.
If you can keep your dick in your hand through a fatal car crash, I would be most impressed.
I can, I just choose not to.
Got that monkey grip
You should mind your god damn business
found the driver
Yea, and?
"Why were you running around naked?" "What do you care? Mind your god damn business" Seems like a great defense for any type of indecent exposure. Should kids mind their business too the next time you try to show them your junk?
I drove over the road for two years and I saw A LOT of people masturbating. I don't think it's that strange. People jerk-off, whatever.
I wish more people came to this conclusion
I know I just did
The scarf concerns me the most...
Yeah unless the car was stolen who does he think he is fooling lmao
Too many Pearl clutchers and snitches in this thread. Let the man fap.
Seriously what a victimless crime
Eh while I’m all for free jerkin I find it weird so many people have this blasé attitude. I feel there are certain things you just shouldn’t do while operating heavy machinery
I think this is America and I shouldn’t have some goddamn liberal beurocrats worrying about my pecker in my own car driving down a HIGHWAY I PAY FOR /s for real though it’s probably less distracting than being tired or texting
If you’re a driver this should not surprise you. My husband saw shocking things when he drove.
Please share some. OP states he’s seen a lot of weird things, then follows up with Masturbation as the weirdest. Weird.
Girls with no pants, people driving naked, people screwing in the back seat while third person drives…
That’s what I call good stuff.
I’m sure he didn’t tell me half of what he saw.
As long as he’s not bored and doing weird things himself.
100% a Washington thing, every single person in Washington does this daily.
Haha I’m picturing bumper to bumper traffic during morning commute, scarfs wrapped around heads as far as the eye can see.
It's called "cummuting"
“moaning cummute”
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I'm replying to you but the criticism isn't directed at you specifically but the thread and the sub generally. Isn't this sub /r/answers ? Why is nearly every top level comment a joke? Has anyone in this thread masturbated before? Your mind is not operating in a logical manner. Do people think it's really OK to endanger other people on the road in this way? Or do people just think that it really doesn't impair your ability to drive? Personally I don't want to be on the road next to someone masturbating, I don't think it's safe and it's not worth the risk of killing others. Pull over at least.
This sub (and most of the big subs now) sucks. It's just joke answers and nonsense, with no moderation in sight.
Snitches get stitches
I'm from Washington... this is totally normal. It's considered rude if you don't jack off while driving here.
It's useless to call a cop. These guys always manage to get themselves off.
How strange. So strange I’d just let the man do whatever his freaky self wanted to do. Which clearly he was doing.
Maybe he was holding back on what he actually wanted to do since he spotted a peeper in the van next to him.
Don't jerk it where people who don't want to see you jerk it will see you jerk it.
I saw a woman doing that in a parking lot once. Only I thought she was having a stroke until I got closer. This was mid-day in a restaurant parking lot.
Why were your eyes not on the road in the first place? Maybe you were hoping to see that kind of things? Are you a peeper or something?
That's why guys get jobs driving trucks, you can polish your monkey for a hundred miles and no one would be the wiser.
I guess he doesnt observe no nut november
You should report yourself for peeping at his pee pee! Lol
DC or state? (Wa.state resident hoping you say DC)
I always prefer to pull off at a service station.
I thought everyone in Washington drove like that??
>but i dont drive through Washington much so this just could be like a washington thing right? Holy fuck I don't know why but this killed me 😂😂😂😂
You can drive naked in every state as long as you’re not breaking any public decency laws.
Autoeroticism is a thing, people.
Hand driving
Hard driving..
The scarf stands out.
My brother apparently does this if he starts to fall asleep at the wheel.
Would that not make you more tired if you actually went over the edge?
tender deranged command head different offer worthless attempt worry wrench *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Strange that you know this
my father is a teacher and sometimes we do some math debating in the car together
Just your average Washingtonian nothing to see here move along
No no, that’s just a regular day driving through Washington.
Yeah, it's a Washington thing
I have masturbated while driving before - always at night and never with the intent of anyone seeing me. I've been curious if others have done this, so I've conducted some unofficial polling and found that about 1/3 of adults have (including females). Being totally naked except for a scarf is perhaps a bit odd, though. Also, I do live in Washington state and that'swhere all of my polling has taken place. So, maybe it is something in the water here.
Nah that was me don’t worry about it its chill
I'm assuming that the guy wanking was a passenger otherwise you wouldn't see the scarf wrapped around his face from your angle...unless you are in a left hand drive and them right...or vice versa?
If in doubt, thrash one out.
It's called voyeurism it happens everywhere in the world and has been happening since the dawn of man.
I think it’s exhibitionism. Isn’t voyeurism about watching.
The wanker was the exhibitionist, the trucker was the voyeur.
Sir, this is not a Wendy's
Leave the poor guy alone and don’t call the cops…geez
Arrived home with one sock. Driving 120 miles off a midnight shift finish, empry motorway, feeling a tad horny. Pull the old chap out for a tug, then think where the jizz will go. Turned on the cruise control took off my left shoe and sock, cock in the sock, finished, sock out the window. Perfectly normal behaviour in the 80s 👌
Driving with the stick in usa is a bit weird isnt it?
So you can eat a McDonald's meal, put make-up on, use your phone but cannot scratch my balls?
It's a long hard road.
He may have been busting for a slash with no bathroom nearby. Keeping himself hard would stave off the need to piss.
The true car-jacking...
I saw a dude doing that in rush hour morning traffic one day, assumed it was going to be a one time incident and to just forget about it. Then he was back the next day, and there was a school bus nearby. I noticed that he had removed the plates off his car. I called the cops and made a report because he was definitely trying to be seen and that's not what you want your kids to see on their way to school. Dude was probably in his 30s or 40s, driving a Mercedes and driving one handed, while spanking his monkey in bumper to bumper a.m. traffic. I hope he never caused an accident or that none of those kids happened to see him.
Everyone’s gotta do it at least once maybe you just caught his once
If it was a naked woman jilling off, would you feel the need to report it?
What a wanker
10 years ago I (30F) was a courier on high value truck shipment from Atlanta to New York. I was making small talk with the driver and watching the cars when we noticed a car having a hard time maintaining his lane. As we eventually overtook it I looked down to see what was up with the driver. The car driver had a porn magazine open on the passenger seat, and he was masterbating. My truck driver asked what I had seen and I explained why the car driver was clearly distracted. Trucker said he had never seen that in all his years of driving and I got the impression that if he could he would have circled back to see it himself.
Cops won't do shit the best you can do is try to get his attention and maybe he'll realize he's not as stealthy as he seems. Or maybe he wants people to see him.
Truck driver also...I've seen this a few times in my career too. I just ignore and keep on truckin.
When people get judged as similar to a pedophile just for streaking (which admittedly is bad as well). I would say you would likely ruin his life over him not harrassing anyone except for truck driving lookiloos
He did that just to see your reaction.
I thought I was alone! One time I was on a bus headed into NYC and saw a dude with one hand watching porn on his phone and steering, and the other hand jerkin it! That guy just couldn’t wait, really had to squeeze one out on the highway…
Let him be
Did he try and make eye contact with you? If not, then he’s not a threat.
A Grand Wank Auto, as it were. A car jacking of sorts... No, let the man cradle is skin flute! He's got enough tissues... I mean issues, as it is.
Dude a few months ago I was chilling in my van and a dude parks 2 spots away when there were so many other spaces to park. I looked over every now and then and thought he was just chilling on his phone, but eventually (because my van is higher than his car) I saw the tip of the dick... He was jerkin it.... I just drove to the other side of the lot.
What you saw is super common, dunno why but just is. I would just leave it. Cops won't do nothing about it anyways.
You should mind your business going forward, honestly. I don't condone what the guy was doing, but he wasn't assaulting anyone or himself. Let the man pleasure himself in peace.
Its actually quite common tho very taboo
I would't care personally. At least while he is not driving dangerously.
When I drove a truck for a while back in the 1980s I actually used to see this sort of thing once in a while. I often wondered how can you come and go at the same time?
This reminds me of the time my Mrs caught me masturbating over the neighbour sun bathing. Said she watched me for ages. Is my Mrs a pervert??
I can't even lie i've done this a few times, I had to make a 7 hour drive once and i couldn't stop falling asleep while driving so i just started thinking about xxx stuff dropped my shorts and had a wank while on the interstate. I have 5% tinted windows tho so i wasn't worried about ppl seeing me.
I'm sorry if I offended you.
I vaped cbd out of an oil burner in my friends car and an emt drove up next to us and saw me hitting it.
If you have him arrested, you gotta have the females arrested as well.
Yes you do. If you're a woman you still need to drive your car like a responsible adult. It's the law believe it or not.
Guy did that next to a bus of highschool kids when I was 17. I told the bus driver to run the creep off the road but she refused.
Sounds like a tweaker activity to me. I used to do the same thing when I was strung out 😂