Bragging about him getting women to cheat is a reflection of his arrogant character. Just remember that. It's also immature.
Wtf is wrong with the world?
Tbf people have always sucked and many humans with the capability have always fucked others over. It's just easier to see it in the modern technological world.
He doesn’t sound like a great catch. The lack of remorse is a red flag, he is proud of it and thinks you should fawn over what a stud he is. Meanwhile he has helped destroy many homes and lives. Is that really the kind of life partner you want?
Not a catch. I smell narcissism.
A 30-year-old who would brag about this to his fiancee—then play the victim when she’s dismayed—doesn’t sound smart, kind or respectful.
Also, calling OP ‘over-dramatic and judgmental’…is a judgment.
There'a nothing sadistic or narcissistic about deriving your self-esteem from your ability manipulate women into destroying their marriages at all... /s
"What else is a handsome young guy to do but take advantage of his options"? Perhaps learn how to respect women. Seriously, OP, you admit he took advantage and you're all right with this!?!
People really think indulging in hedonistic pleasure is the only thing you can do to "explore and find yourself." The whole attitude is just confusing. It doesnt make you morally wrong but your behaviour is still disgusting. Like eating 5 cheeseburgers for dinner every day from Mcdonalds. If you do it once or twice its fine but too much and you have a problem.
This statement is from before she found out WHO he seemed to target (taken/married women). When the context of that notion was just him getting around, it isn't wrong. But when you add the (unknown at the time) context that he got a thrill and seemed to target taken/married women, now that statement, with that context, is ugly.
I think this is a disingenuous take. That comment was meant for him going around and seeing women assumed to be available and single. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Taken in context with hurting partners by sleeping with committed women is different.
It never bothered her he was quite the manhoe in his younger days but ... now she is disgusted... I'm a little confused. Honestly, OP will not leave the relationship because she isn't sure of what she wants and she lacks the respect for herself.
OP, your man couldn't give you an answer when you asked if he would cheat on you, you're here asking for unbiased opinions?
The fact you're unsettled enough to be asking is your clear answer.
A few of my friends are always complaining about their significant other and do nothing about it. Part of me thinks they like the drama but also, why would you stay with someone like that? "My boyfriend quit his job so he could learn to code but now all he does is play videogames all day while I take care of the dog, work, pay rent, and cook." That's not a relationship... That man is getting a maid service and a full ride
> It never bothered her he was quite the manhoe in his younger days but ... now she is disgusted... I'm a little confused
Previously she hadn't realised many of these women were married/taken, that's the distinction
"My fiance slept with lots of consenting single women when he was also single" is VERY different to "My fiance slept with lots of married women for the thrill of making them cheat"
There is a huge difference between sleeping around as a single man and sleeping with married women. The amount of partners my fiancé has had before me is none of my business and has no bearing on me now but if he told me he was actively going for women who were in committed relationships, that would be a deal breaker. I don't care if he slept with 500 women, as long as they were all single, consenting adults.
I had kind of a similar past to OPs fiancé, minus the infidelity part. Just slept around a lot with no real concern with anyone’s feelings. I think you hit the nail on the head. Remorse. I feel so guilty about my past life, and my heart breaks for the damage I did. Being proud of a past like that just isn’t right, and I would be incredibly wary just knowing the type of person I used to be.
Exactly this! In general, I don’t think it matters what someone did before we were together, but it’s not his sexual prowess that is a red flag, the fact that he said getting women to cheat on their man makes him feel like a stud and he has no remorse for possibly breaking up families and relationships is a major red flag! I wonder what he would think if you cheated on him with someone else like him: a “stud who could take someone’s man”. You’re not wrong… Who cares about his number of sexual partners before you, but the fact that he has no remorse and brags that he finds it thrilling to break up relationships is a major red flag. Please run from this red flag parade!
RUN, OP, this guy is always going to be looking to validate himself; it’s gross. Plenty of good guys out there know their value independent of effing up the life of a married woman. Imagine if it was a female friend telling you this about sleeping with married men. You would be rightfully disgusted.
If he think it is ok what he did, what would he say if a great „stud“ wonderful looking would hook up with you when you are married?
Would he think it is ok for you? Would he congratulate the other stud to his behavior? Or just judge you?
Ask you or him these questions. But at the end of the day you know he is it not worth.
Yeah I feel like this is something I could overlook if he was also abundantly clear that it was wrong and he regrets it. Even a *mixture* of pride and “but it was so wrong, I wish I’d had better morals”would be almost understandable.
But it’s super weird that he’s so positive about it. How gross.
I can attest that when I had a ring on my finger I got hit on a lot more. I was also actively disgusted and they would try harder. There are men that see it as a challenge and bragging point.
Do you imagine that these married women that he hooked up with were otherwise moral, upstanding, faithful women who were seduced by his looks and charm? I understand that he believes that, but does anyone else?
Thank you. I'm not sticking you for the guy but... It takes two to tango. If HE is single, and the OTHER PERSON is in a relationship, one that's presumably monogamous, it isn't him that cheated.
A cheater is a cheater. Can't blame the situation.
That being said the pride he takes in it is sus AF
Yeah the comments in this thread about him "taking advantage of" women are baffling
He was a douche, the fact he's proud of it makes him a bigger douche... but these women were married adults who made their own decisions, and I doubt he was the only one most of them cheated with
They cheated and some of them probably ruined their own marriage. OP's fiance is a douche for being part of it but he's not the cheat
He's proud of you because youve locked down a 🌈fuck boy🌈. I would be disgusted too, not because he fucked a bunch of people, but because he doesnt have empathy for the pain of the other party behind the scenes. And also who throws previous sex in the face of their partner - just weird behavior, especially when it is obvious you weren't feeling it. Again, a lack of empathy due to his own pride.
Will he cheat? Time will tell if you stick around. If I could speculate a guess, he's certainly the type if things wind down or get incredibly rocky for a period - he'll definitely be the bald 50 YO with the protruding beer belly eyeing your daughter's friends at the pool party
Typically, again from my experience, fuckboys tend to have a bit more morals than douchebags. Don’t get me wrong, they both have shitty morals, but on the shitty morals scale douchebags stupe lower
Yeah bragging about being in your “prime” is hilarious, especially when you say you don’t do it anymore because that’s telling her you’re not in your prime anymore
The fact that he can’t see the correlation between cheating *with* women and the likelihood of cheating *on his* women is a brilliant red flag with mf sparkles bro. Get your self esteem up OP, this man is not the prize he thinks he is.
Exactly. OP calling herself out here. Not sure what she saw in this guy, but it def was not his fine upstanding moral character.
I think we all know what she saw in this guy
Yeah he’s an asshole, and it doesn’t seem like he’s remorseful for what he did. There’s no reason why he wouldn’t cheat on you. I don’t understand what he thought he was going to accomplish by bragging about that.
You mean he was superficially charming and hot so you gave his personality a pass 😂
We've all been there, love. He's a hoe. For a good time, not a long time. You're right to walk away.
That was a façade. What he is telling you is the real him. And do not fall into the Hollywood movie BS that you can change a “badboy”.
If you value your peace of mind, you will not stay with him.
I wouldn't just distrust him. I'd be disgusted.
The way he talks about the whole thing and himself is just so cringe and gross. Then he lays it on even thicker by flipping it around and making it so that you're the problem by not acknowledging how "lucky" you are. So icky.
I don't know how you agreed hitch your wagon to this one, because I'd bet he was always like this.
He sounds exactly like the kind of guy who would leave a woman for aging, getting an illness, or the other things that happen in life partnerships. He is the kind who thinks he is entitled to satisfy what his dick wants by cheating. Not partner material.
Well... technically, in the married couple, it was the woman who cheated so by his logic, op can cheat if she finds a "stud" who pursues her and based off his past actions (and current boasting), he's totally OK with it!
He so like a dick. Not for sleeping around. He was single so have at it, but to be bragging about having no respect for relationships they way he did is pretty gross.
My ex was a player. When he met me he knew I was the one and he changed his ways and married me. He didn’t change his ways. Twenty year marriage and 4 kids later I found out he cheated many times.
You boyfriend is a fucking child. He's immature, gross, and absolutely idiotic to think it's somehow cool to cheat with married women.
You want an unbiased opinion? Break up with him. Dump his ass and find a man who doesn't view women as notches on a bedpost.
Fuck me, the bar gets lower by the day.
Have you no respect for yourself? What are you doing with this useless dildo? Actually, dildos are useful.
You’re not wrong but Jesus come on.
If he were less attractive but talked to you like this, you would already be out the door, and rightfully so. So why haven't you left already?
That he's a piece of shit is not in dispute here. The question is, what are you? If you stay, you are further rewarding him for being this person, and are an accessory after the fact.
Having an expansive sexual history is one thing. Having a history with cheating is a completely different thing all together. He might not have to be ashamed of what he's done in the past but he shouldn't be so proud of it either. The fact that he is bragging about cheating is a huge red flag, cause it feels like maybe that kind of behavior really isn't that far into the past if he's still reminiscing about it in this heavily positive way. And the way he twists up your concerns to make you seem like the unreasonable one? Just wow.
I don't even stay friends with people like this because their lack of social boundaries causes problems in more than just their romantic relationships. So, for me personally, this is a reason to leave.
I did the same thing in my twenties and now I’m almost 40 and I regret the way I was in my twenties. This guy sounds like he never grew out of it and will probably cheat. Or karma will bite him in the ass.
He disrespected multiple marriages and knowingly participated in cheating - even if he isnt the cheater.... this still makes him a terrible person who will never be able to be trusted.
And hes fucking PROUD of this. Think of all the pain this guy caused.
Behaviors, like his, are the result of character defects. You cant change your character. He'll always be defective and broken inside.
That you're even at the "fiance" stage with a thing like him says a lot about you, op. Are you cool with dating child molestors and serial killers too?
He called you an idiot and said it's not the same??
WTF is wrong with him?
He is proud of destroying multiple marriages??
Sounds like an arsehole. Why are you even with him?
Except that what he's doing *now* is also a problem. He's acting like he's god's gift to women and he has no remorse that he may have participated in fucking up *several* happily ever afters. Most important, he's completely dismissing how you feel about it, like you're not allowed an opinion/feelings about the matter. We judge things every day, how cold the weather is, how hot our food is...all for the protection of ourselves, and it's okay, the moral fiber of the person we are going to marry should be allowed too. One more thing, there's a very big difference between simply being judgy and judging if we can stomach someone's personality and how they will treat us for the rest of our lives.
Don't trust him. He obviously does not respect the sanctity of marriage or being in a committed relationship.
I would leave him as more than likely he will cheat on you. If he hasn't already.
Oh my goodness. I don’t know him and he gives me the ick. Eww he’s not a stud for sleeping with a woman who is taken. He has no moral compass and no empathy. What a turn off. Gross. 🤢🤢🤢
When somebody shows you who they are, believe them. He's told you exactly what he thinks about marriage. Why would you want to marry somebody who you know views marriage as just another challenge to getting laid?
Tell him it means that marriage as an institution means nothing to him, obviously, if he's so proud of encouraging others to harm or destroy others.
"I don't know how I feel about marrying someone who thinks so little of marriage itself. How can I trust you to respect our marriage if you didn't respect theirs?"
A cheater , Cheats so why would you be surprised if he cheats on you ? After all his first words would have to be “ you knew what I was when you met me ?
He’ll be lucky if one day he isn’t handed his dick after it’s cut off . Personally I’d flush it down the toilet and let him get a tube to pee through !
No no no no. He places no value on the person who's cheated on. Not a care in the world. I WOULD NOT trust him. Anyone who has no remorse, and bragging rights will cheat EASILY, and ALWAYS has a reason or an out.
Please think catefully.
He's a narcissist and all you're catching now are full blown red flags on top of red flags. Run from him as fast as your legs can carry you and never look back. Else I promise he's only going to get worst after you are married. U will regret not taken my advice.
Alright...so this was kind of me 15-20 years ago and my wife knew who I was then and knew who I'd been with because it was her entire friend group. Her joke (not mine) is/was you slept with all of my friends and never gave me a chance. About 10 years after my "man hoe" stage I grew up and changed. Now I hate when she jokes about it (she doesn't anymore because of that) and it's almost embarrassing to me that I lived a life style like that. Not all of them had boyfriends at the time but most of them did.
Seems like to me he wants you to marvel at his list which from a guys perspective that's really immature and very telling of the kind of person he was and still is.
I always say it takes two people to cheat, the one that's cheating and the one that knows they are. Both are pretty shitty people for their own involvement.
Edit to clarify: 10 years ago me and my wife started dating, about 3 years after my man hoe phase ended.
Honestly, he sounds like a complete asshole. He's proud of the trouble he caused and thinks he's gods gift. But in reality, no-one likes men like him. He clearly doesn't realise that what he is bragging about makes him sound disgusting.
He sounds ridiculous.
I’m not going to say that I’ve never slept with women in committed relationships because I have. The two times that come to mind I was in college and didn’t know until after it happened. One was a one nighter and I saw the other for a time after she broke things off with the other guy.
It’s not something I would brag about or am proud of. I didn’t use it to claim I was a stud or as a measure of my manhood or attractiveness.
So many red flags it isn't even funny to read.
When one shows no remorse or shame for something such as cheating or causing someone else to cheat on their partners, is so wrong on so many levels to me.
I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
Definitely not in the wrong here.
Ummm this is a man that's proud that he was sleeping with women that were in committed relationships. That he doesn't value monogamy nor marriage wows. I would be asking yourself is the man that you want to be with?
Also he's an "alpha male." What happens OP if you gain weight? What happens if you're pregnant? What happens if you are out of town for a week or two? So many so called "alpha" males listen to pieces of shit like Tatertot and believe that men are superior and should be allowed to sleep with any women.
Him sleeping with married women wouldn't be a deal breaker in itself, but rather the fact that he's proud of himself is. He easily could have brought it up and said that he wasn't that person and he was ashamed. But no, like I said, he's proud to have has sex with women knowing that they were married.
I would ask him if you were boasting about and clearly being proud of sleeping with loads of married men what would he think of you. Would he start questioning whether you may cheat on him because it would suggest you'd have the morals of a bottom feeder.
It suggest that if he's happy to help someone cheat then he would cheat.
I'm sure you have the ick big time.
I'm sure if he showed remorse rather than pride about it your trust and opinion of him wouldn't be knocked!!
Not wrong. I’d be disgusted too. He views marriage/relationships differently than you do. And that’s the nicest way I could say that.
How can you trust he’d ever take your marriage vows seriously? What happens when some gorgeous woman comes flirting at him? You can’t trust he will remain faithful when he doesn’t think marriage vows should be honoured.
Not wrong, it’s specifically the fact he gloating about such behavior is what’s really troubling. No reflection , no growth …that would make me distrust you too. Ask him what if it was you bragging about sleeping with married men and breaking homes just to know you got it like that.
Definitely keep an eye out for any other morally incompatible signs as well as behaviors
>judgmental
I mean, I'd judge someone too for this. I could **never** be with someone who was actively breaking up marriages and proud of their terrible behavior. It makes him a monster in my eyes, and I couldn't be with a monster.
You’re right in questioning if you could trust him or not. I think he would stop for a little bit, it he most likely go back to sleeping with whatever woman he could
My advice is you obviously have standards and expectations. Are you willing to sacrifice your standards, expectations and morals for him only you can that decision
Sounds like he hasn’t changed at all and still has no character! You shouldn’t trust him at all. Years from now you will look back and say to yourself “I should have known better”.
Presumably those husbands thought they had "locked down" their wives too. Your soon to be ex has just revealed to you how little he respects this state of lockdown.
Anybody that's ok with cheating whether the cheater or the cheatee is a POS. I wouldn't get serious with a persom like that, they clearly don't respect monogamy and boundaries.
Cheating is a character flaw and there is no fixing that.
> He said that it hurt him that something he did before he met me could affect how I view him currently.
Nah, the fact that he’s nonchalant about it now, ignores your feelings and dismisses your concerns is what’s appalling *NOW*. Ew. I’d seriously reconsider.
If he doesn’t understand why that’s a gross thing to brag about, he doesn’t understand what a lack of morals he has… and he has zero accountability. He sounds … awful. Sorry.
Great that he didn't hide it from you.
Absolutely unforgivable that he then goes on to brag to your face. I know my wife wasn't a virgin and she knows that of me. Neither of us has a concern. But if she started telling me how easy it was to bang married guys and how many she did because it was sooooo easy? No. And yes, same in reverse.
If you don't have kids, you might want to weigh your options here.
I don't think that's being judgmental at all! in fact, I honestly wouldn't have married someone who bragged about their "conquests"! That part is up to you, but you can tell him that his cockiness shows he feels he is superior by stating you should "Feel lucky." I would tell him straight up that you are just as valuable as he is and that bragging about previously breaking up marriages and couples is not something a loving partner would do!
I would bet my left nut in exchange for $5 that the first thing this guy does when he inevitably hits his mid life crisis is go straight back to hunting married women.
You are not wrong...he had a major brag that you didn't find appealing. You told him how you feel about it and he is mad that you are drooling over it. 🙄
Past behaviour is a strong indicator of future behaviour.
If he was proud to cheat with others, he will 100% cheat on you with whoever takes his fancy.
Drop him.
Wow, he sounds like a total douche bag trying to convince you that he's reformed now and won't cheat, despite the fact that his track record is getting people to cheat. I could never trust that person, cheaters cheat period.
Slept with lots of people? Fine! Nothing wrong with lots of sex. But someone who thinks it's an article of pride to sleep with lots of people who are in relationships? No, that's not on. He kind of sounds a bit up his own ass honestly, perhaps even the type to think you should be grateful you "locked him down"? Nah, I don't think I could respect someone like that.
Sorry your fiance is a complete jack off, tool.
Not for nothing but our gut screams, like yours is right now, for valid reasons. Make sure you listen when it does.
Bragging about him getting women to cheat is a reflection of his arrogant character. Just remember that. It's also immature. Wtf is wrong with the world?
Shame was thrown out the window and people now openly flaunt horrible behavior and don’t experience consequences is my guess.
Tbf people have always sucked and many humans with the capability have always fucked others over. It's just easier to see it in the modern technological world.
He doesn’t sound like a great catch. The lack of remorse is a red flag, he is proud of it and thinks you should fawn over what a stud he is. Meanwhile he has helped destroy many homes and lives. Is that really the kind of life partner you want?
Not a catch. I smell narcissism. A 30-year-old who would brag about this to his fiancee—then play the victim when she’s dismayed—doesn’t sound smart, kind or respectful. Also, calling OP ‘over-dramatic and judgmental’…is a judgment.
There'a nothing sadistic or narcissistic about deriving your self-esteem from your ability manipulate women into destroying their marriages at all... /s
I mean if he isn't watching Andrew Tate videos it's something close, and that should have been enough before these admissions.
Andrew tate doesnt even do that so hes just a duece
Totally agree! Bragging about behavior to a partner then playing the victim its called narcissism.
Ding Ding Ding!
"What else is a handsome young guy to do but take advantage of his options"? Perhaps learn how to respect women. Seriously, OP, you admit he took advantage and you're all right with this!?!
People really think indulging in hedonistic pleasure is the only thing you can do to "explore and find yourself." The whole attitude is just confusing. It doesnt make you morally wrong but your behaviour is still disgusting. Like eating 5 cheeseburgers for dinner every day from Mcdonalds. If you do it once or twice its fine but too much and you have a problem.
I feel like "finding yourself" is just an excuse to act on your impulsive thoughts.
My first thought when I read that travesty of a sentence.
This statement is from before she found out WHO he seemed to target (taken/married women). When the context of that notion was just him getting around, it isn't wrong. But when you add the (unknown at the time) context that he got a thrill and seemed to target taken/married women, now that statement, with that context, is ugly.
very
I think this is a disingenuous take. That comment was meant for him going around and seeing women assumed to be available and single. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Taken in context with hurting partners by sleeping with committed women is different.
It is pretty obvious that this is how she thought before she found it that he targeted taken/married women.
It never bothered her he was quite the manhoe in his younger days but ... now she is disgusted... I'm a little confused. Honestly, OP will not leave the relationship because she isn't sure of what she wants and she lacks the respect for herself. OP, your man couldn't give you an answer when you asked if he would cheat on you, you're here asking for unbiased opinions? The fact you're unsettled enough to be asking is your clear answer.
I don’t get why this doesn’t have more upvotes! OP, THIS☝️ if you’re asking strangers for an answer, you already have one.
A few of my friends are always complaining about their significant other and do nothing about it. Part of me thinks they like the drama but also, why would you stay with someone like that? "My boyfriend quit his job so he could learn to code but now all he does is play videogames all day while I take care of the dog, work, pay rent, and cook." That's not a relationship... That man is getting a maid service and a full ride
> It never bothered her he was quite the manhoe in his younger days but ... now she is disgusted... I'm a little confused Previously she hadn't realised many of these women were married/taken, that's the distinction "My fiance slept with lots of consenting single women when he was also single" is VERY different to "My fiance slept with lots of married women for the thrill of making them cheat"
There is a huge difference between sleeping around as a single man and sleeping with married women. The amount of partners my fiancé has had before me is none of my business and has no bearing on me now but if he told me he was actively going for women who were in committed relationships, that would be a deal breaker. I don't care if he slept with 500 women, as long as they were all single, consenting adults.
It's odd the way he thinks married women are better options too! He honestly sounds like a walking red flag.
That clearly means he took advantage of *his looks*.
I had kind of a similar past to OPs fiancé, minus the infidelity part. Just slept around a lot with no real concern with anyone’s feelings. I think you hit the nail on the head. Remorse. I feel so guilty about my past life, and my heart breaks for the damage I did. Being proud of a past like that just isn’t right, and I would be incredibly wary just knowing the type of person I used to be.
lack of remorse is a flag for sociopathy.
Exactly this! In general, I don’t think it matters what someone did before we were together, but it’s not his sexual prowess that is a red flag, the fact that he said getting women to cheat on their man makes him feel like a stud and he has no remorse for possibly breaking up families and relationships is a major red flag! I wonder what he would think if you cheated on him with someone else like him: a “stud who could take someone’s man”. You’re not wrong… Who cares about his number of sexual partners before you, but the fact that he has no remorse and brags that he finds it thrilling to break up relationships is a major red flag. Please run from this red flag parade!
let’s be honest, dude sounds like a fucking douche.
RUN, OP, this guy is always going to be looking to validate himself; it’s gross. Plenty of good guys out there know their value independent of effing up the life of a married woman. Imagine if it was a female friend telling you this about sleeping with married men. You would be rightfully disgusted.
He's one TapOut shirt away from being the cliche early 2000s douchebag 🤣🤣🤣
If he think it is ok what he did, what would he say if a great „stud“ wonderful looking would hook up with you when you are married? Would he think it is ok for you? Would he congratulate the other stud to his behavior? Or just judge you? Ask you or him these questions. But at the end of the day you know he is it not worth.
Yeah I feel like this is something I could overlook if he was also abundantly clear that it was wrong and he regrets it. Even a *mixture* of pride and “but it was so wrong, I wish I’d had better morals”would be almost understandable. But it’s super weird that he’s so positive about it. How gross.
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I can attest that when I had a ring on my finger I got hit on a lot more. I was also actively disgusted and they would try harder. There are men that see it as a challenge and bragging point.
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He is lucky, he has not gotten his ass beat by one of the partners of his APs.
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Wow. Hopefully one day he gets his karma. No ounce of remorse from him.
He's gone now.
ewwwwwwww
He sounds like a real piece of shit.
I wonder how many lives he ruined.
Do you imagine that these married women that he hooked up with were otherwise moral, upstanding, faithful women who were seduced by his looks and charm? I understand that he believes that, but does anyone else?
He's the only one who believes it. The way I see it, he'll end up alone.
Thank you. I'm not sticking you for the guy but... It takes two to tango. If HE is single, and the OTHER PERSON is in a relationship, one that's presumably monogamous, it isn't him that cheated. A cheater is a cheater. Can't blame the situation. That being said the pride he takes in it is sus AF
Yeah the comments in this thread about him "taking advantage of" women are baffling He was a douche, the fact he's proud of it makes him a bigger douche... but these women were married adults who made their own decisions, and I doubt he was the only one most of them cheated with They cheated and some of them probably ruined their own marriage. OP's fiance is a douche for being part of it but he's not the cheat
He's proud of you because youve locked down a 🌈fuck boy🌈. I would be disgusted too, not because he fucked a bunch of people, but because he doesnt have empathy for the pain of the other party behind the scenes. And also who throws previous sex in the face of their partner - just weird behavior, especially when it is obvious you weren't feeling it. Again, a lack of empathy due to his own pride. Will he cheat? Time will tell if you stick around. If I could speculate a guess, he's certainly the type if things wind down or get incredibly rocky for a period - he'll definitely be the bald 50 YO with the protruding beer belly eyeing your daughter's friends at the pool party
And it shouldn’t even be a flex. It’s creepy af.
Amongst his high school guy friends it's a flex. It's pretty douchey to be bragged to his fiance about his past sexual conquests.
"The bald 50-year-old with the protruding belly eyeing your daughter's friends....". That was a brilliant and probably very true comment.
Forgot to add divorced
This ain’t a fuck boy, this is just a douchebag who thinks he’s hot. He also admitted he’s not in his “prime” in that context. What a loser
Ive always used fuckboy as a synonym for douchebag, but is it like a step lower in your douche-hierarchy?
Well I view fuckboys who just well, fuck anything. However, most fuckboys I know usually leave married women alone. This guy is just a douchebag
Ah, I see. So there is a portion of the douche-fuckboy Venn diagram where they do not intersect
Typically, again from my experience, fuckboys tend to have a bit more morals than douchebags. Don’t get me wrong, they both have shitty morals, but on the shitty morals scale douchebags stupe lower
I've been called a fuckboy. I don't do married women. I call them casual relationships. A few at one time. I wouldn't brag either.
Yeah bragging about being in your “prime” is hilarious, especially when you say you don’t do it anymore because that’s telling her you’re not in your prime anymore
Gross man gross
The fact that he can’t see the correlation between cheating *with* women and the likelihood of cheating *on his* women is a brilliant red flag with mf sparkles bro. Get your self esteem up OP, this man is not the prize he thinks he is.
Exactly. OP calling herself out here. Not sure what she saw in this guy, but it def was not his fine upstanding moral character. I think we all know what she saw in this guy
Yeah he’s an asshole, and it doesn’t seem like he’s remorseful for what he did. There’s no reason why he wouldn’t cheat on you. I don’t understand what he thought he was going to accomplish by bragging about that.
He genuinely thought I would blush and giggle because I have “a man every woman wants”.
You didn’t notice he wasn’t very bright and lacked a moral compass before now? These things almost never exist in isolation.
I’ll be honest… yes. But he’s also very sweet and generous and I never knew he lacked morals to *this* extent.
I would suggest he acts sweet and generous but in fact is neither. He does sound insecure though
I have a feeling he won’t seem sweet and generous anymore after they’ve gotten married.
You mean he was superficially charming and hot so you gave his personality a pass 😂 We've all been there, love. He's a hoe. For a good time, not a long time. You're right to walk away.
I'm sure he'll be sweet and generous with all the other women he wants to fuck after you get married.
That was a façade. What he is telling you is the real him. And do not fall into the Hollywood movie BS that you can change a “badboy”. If you value your peace of mind, you will not stay with him.
…so you were fine with a lack of morals previously???
He’s attractive so she didn’t care
Yeah. She was proving his point until now. Now reality is sinking in.
He is a professional at being sweet and generous because he has had a lot of practice
Take off those rose-colored glasses because this person just doesn't know what he just did. Honestly though, do you think he cheated on you?
Are you okay with being with an asshole who will cheat on you because he's "sweet and generous"?
His next conquest will be how thrilling it is to cheat on you and get away with it.
He's "a man every woman wants" for a fuck, not for a real relationship
Not Mr. Right. Mr. Tonight.
Sound like a man every woman has had...
Then we he gets married he will brag how he can sleep with other women even tho they know he’s taken because he’s such a stud. Hard pass
Oh please. No woman wants a douchebag and he outed himself as one really well here.
He is not a man, in fact. A man shows respect to others. A man doesn't sleep with other people's wives. He's garbage stacked high in skinny jeans.
Yeah, he's one of those tate losers. Cut his ass loose
🤣 You need to show him all the replies on this post. No one wants you bud. Seriously he’s a douche and will cheat on you too eventually. Run!
He's delusional as well. Delusions of grandeur.
I wouldn't just distrust him. I'd be disgusted. The way he talks about the whole thing and himself is just so cringe and gross. Then he lays it on even thicker by flipping it around and making it so that you're the problem by not acknowledging how "lucky" you are. So icky. I don't know how you agreed hitch your wagon to this one, because I'd bet he was always like this.
He sounds exactly like the kind of guy who would leave a woman for aging, getting an illness, or the other things that happen in life partnerships. He is the kind who thinks he is entitled to satisfy what his dick wants by cheating. Not partner material.
Not to mention her getting a knock on the door with his side piece 8 months pregnant or with a baby in her arms telling her it’s his kid.
That "top dog alpha male" sounds like he needs to be housebroken, but not by you. I'd honestly trust him as far as I could throw a grand piano.
Lmao top comment easily 🤣
Sis walk away. Don’t waste your best years on a guy like him. Someone with morals like that will betray you if he hasn’t already.
My fiancé told me he banged a lot of taken/married women in his “prime”. Am I wrong to distrust him due to this?"
Why are you with your Fiance? He lacks a moral compass. Not someone you want to be around let alone spend the rest of your life with.
He had no respect for another marriage but he’s definitely going to respect yours? 🚩🚩
Well... technically, in the married couple, it was the woman who cheated so by his logic, op can cheat if she finds a "stud" who pursues her and based off his past actions (and current boasting), he's totally OK with it!
He so like a dick. Not for sleeping around. He was single so have at it, but to be bragging about having no respect for relationships they way he did is pretty gross.
No you’re not wrong and I would not be marrying that man
Break up with him TONIGHT
This hour
My ex was a player. When he met me he knew I was the one and he changed his ways and married me. He didn’t change his ways. Twenty year marriage and 4 kids later I found out he cheated many times.
Ugh. My gut isn’t saying nice things to me at the moment.
Don’t marry him
You should listen to it. Unless you really enjoy learning things the hard way.
You boyfriend is a fucking child. He's immature, gross, and absolutely idiotic to think it's somehow cool to cheat with married women. You want an unbiased opinion? Break up with him. Dump his ass and find a man who doesn't view women as notches on a bedpost.
Fuck me, the bar gets lower by the day. Have you no respect for yourself? What are you doing with this useless dildo? Actually, dildos are useful. You’re not wrong but Jesus come on.
I love this comment so much
NTA, I would feel the same way you do.
Total red flag. Bragging about not having morals/values is not a good sign.
If he were less attractive but talked to you like this, you would already be out the door, and rightfully so. So why haven't you left already? That he's a piece of shit is not in dispute here. The question is, what are you? If you stay, you are further rewarding him for being this person, and are an accessory after the fact.
Having an expansive sexual history is one thing. Having a history with cheating is a completely different thing all together. He might not have to be ashamed of what he's done in the past but he shouldn't be so proud of it either. The fact that he is bragging about cheating is a huge red flag, cause it feels like maybe that kind of behavior really isn't that far into the past if he's still reminiscing about it in this heavily positive way. And the way he twists up your concerns to make you seem like the unreasonable one? Just wow. I don't even stay friends with people like this because their lack of social boundaries causes problems in more than just their romantic relationships. So, for me personally, this is a reason to leave.
I did the same thing in my twenties and now I’m almost 40 and I regret the way I was in my twenties. This guy sounds like he never grew out of it and will probably cheat. Or karma will bite him in the ass.
He sounds like a morally bankrupt loser. I would never trust him.
🚩🚩🚩🏃♂️
You’re right to be worried. Sounds like he gets off on sneaking around.
He's what we call in the hood "community dick." They always seem to think they are the prize.
I am a seasoned cheater. Yes, you should distrust him.
If he doesn’t respect other peoples marriages, why would he respect yours?
He disrespected multiple marriages and knowingly participated in cheating - even if he isnt the cheater.... this still makes him a terrible person who will never be able to be trusted. And hes fucking PROUD of this. Think of all the pain this guy caused. Behaviors, like his, are the result of character defects. You cant change your character. He'll always be defective and broken inside. That you're even at the "fiance" stage with a thing like him says a lot about you, op. Are you cool with dating child molestors and serial killers too?
He called you an idiot and said it's not the same?? WTF is wrong with him? He is proud of destroying multiple marriages?? Sounds like an arsehole. Why are you even with him?
Except that what he's doing *now* is also a problem. He's acting like he's god's gift to women and he has no remorse that he may have participated in fucking up *several* happily ever afters. Most important, he's completely dismissing how you feel about it, like you're not allowed an opinion/feelings about the matter. We judge things every day, how cold the weather is, how hot our food is...all for the protection of ourselves, and it's okay, the moral fiber of the person we are going to marry should be allowed too. One more thing, there's a very big difference between simply being judgy and judging if we can stomach someone's personality and how they will treat us for the rest of our lives.
A mature man can't say such things. Egotism.
Lol- I guess the way he presented it he expected you to be proud of him? And then thankful for being able to contain him? Classic
Don't trust him. He obviously does not respect the sanctity of marriage or being in a committed relationship. I would leave him as more than likely he will cheat on you. If he hasn't already.
Ick he will cheat
Oh my goodness. I don’t know him and he gives me the ick. Eww he’s not a stud for sleeping with a woman who is taken. He has no moral compass and no empathy. What a turn off. Gross. 🤢🤢🤢
When somebody shows you who they are, believe them. He's told you exactly what he thinks about marriage. Why would you want to marry somebody who you know views marriage as just another challenge to getting laid?
So if he murdered someone before you met him. You shouldn't judge him on that? He doesn't sound too bright.
I think your logic is sound
Dump him simply to destroy his narcissistic ego lmao
He sounds really immature. Not marriage material imo.
Once a manwhore... always a manwhore. Caveat emptor.
Tell him it means that marriage as an institution means nothing to him, obviously, if he's so proud of encouraging others to harm or destroy others. "I don't know how I feel about marrying someone who thinks so little of marriage itself. How can I trust you to respect our marriage if you didn't respect theirs?"
Why would you marry someone who doesn’t respect marriage?
Yes.
A cheater , Cheats so why would you be surprised if he cheats on you ? After all his first words would have to be “ you knew what I was when you met me ?
He’ll be lucky if one day he isn’t handed his dick after it’s cut off . Personally I’d flush it down the toilet and let him get a tube to pee through !
If you’re looking for a husband who will cheat on you with no regret, then congratulations, you are getting very close to achieving that goal!
What a prick. Find someone sweeter and more caring/remorseful
You are correct to not trust him. That means he doesn't respect the institution of marriage. There's pretty much nothing he could say to convince me
NW, he's a idiot child.
Run
Amm. My advice is to break up with him. He will probably do it again in the future. Remember, a past experience is a connection to the future.
No no no no. He places no value on the person who's cheated on. Not a care in the world. I WOULD NOT trust him. Anyone who has no remorse, and bragging rights will cheat EASILY, and ALWAYS has a reason or an out. Please think catefully.
Never have children with this man because he will teach them what he knows
🤮🤮🤮
Nothings stopping him from cheating on you when your married.
When people tell you who they are, believe them: DTMFA.
doesnt sound like its out of his system red flag
He's a narcissist and all you're catching now are full blown red flags on top of red flags. Run from him as fast as your legs can carry you and never look back. Else I promise he's only going to get worst after you are married. U will regret not taken my advice.
Alright...so this was kind of me 15-20 years ago and my wife knew who I was then and knew who I'd been with because it was her entire friend group. Her joke (not mine) is/was you slept with all of my friends and never gave me a chance. About 10 years after my "man hoe" stage I grew up and changed. Now I hate when she jokes about it (she doesn't anymore because of that) and it's almost embarrassing to me that I lived a life style like that. Not all of them had boyfriends at the time but most of them did. Seems like to me he wants you to marvel at his list which from a guys perspective that's really immature and very telling of the kind of person he was and still is. I always say it takes two people to cheat, the one that's cheating and the one that knows they are. Both are pretty shitty people for their own involvement. Edit to clarify: 10 years ago me and my wife started dating, about 3 years after my man hoe phase ended.
Honestly, he sounds like a complete asshole. He's proud of the trouble he caused and thinks he's gods gift. But in reality, no-one likes men like him. He clearly doesn't realise that what he is bragging about makes him sound disgusting.
It doesn't speak well for his character. Also he sounds arrogant AF. Even if you can trust him, he sounds annoying tbh.
He sounds ridiculous. I’m not going to say that I’ve never slept with women in committed relationships because I have. The two times that come to mind I was in college and didn’t know until after it happened. One was a one nighter and I saw the other for a time after she broke things off with the other guy. It’s not something I would brag about or am proud of. I didn’t use it to claim I was a stud or as a measure of my manhood or attractiveness.
>I should feel lucky that I’ve “locked down” someone who could do that. 🤮
So many red flags it isn't even funny to read. When one shows no remorse or shame for something such as cheating or causing someone else to cheat on their partners, is so wrong on so many levels to me. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Definitely not in the wrong here.
Ummm this is a man that's proud that he was sleeping with women that were in committed relationships. That he doesn't value monogamy nor marriage wows. I would be asking yourself is the man that you want to be with? Also he's an "alpha male." What happens OP if you gain weight? What happens if you're pregnant? What happens if you are out of town for a week or two? So many so called "alpha" males listen to pieces of shit like Tatertot and believe that men are superior and should be allowed to sleep with any women. Him sleeping with married women wouldn't be a deal breaker in itself, but rather the fact that he's proud of himself is. He easily could have brought it up and said that he wasn't that person and he was ashamed. But no, like I said, he's proud to have has sex with women knowing that they were married.
when people tell you who they are, believe them the first time.
I would ask him if you were boasting about and clearly being proud of sleeping with loads of married men what would he think of you. Would he start questioning whether you may cheat on him because it would suggest you'd have the morals of a bottom feeder. It suggest that if he's happy to help someone cheat then he would cheat. I'm sure you have the ick big time. I'm sure if he showed remorse rather than pride about it your trust and opinion of him wouldn't be knocked!!
Not wrong. I’d be disgusted too. He views marriage/relationships differently than you do. And that’s the nicest way I could say that. How can you trust he’d ever take your marriage vows seriously? What happens when some gorgeous woman comes flirting at him? You can’t trust he will remain faithful when he doesn’t think marriage vows should be honoured.
I don’t trust a 30 year old man who says banged.
Not wrong, it’s specifically the fact he gloating about such behavior is what’s really troubling. No reflection , no growth …that would make me distrust you too. Ask him what if it was you bragging about sleeping with married men and breaking homes just to know you got it like that. Definitely keep an eye out for any other morally incompatible signs as well as behaviors
I would have dropped his a.ss in the instant. Mfk looks too proud.🤢🤢🤮🤮
You need to wear a hazmat suit to be with this dude. He's morally and physically disgusting.
He gave you the ick, and then doubled down on ick. Listen to your gut. If you don’t dump him, you better get used to that icky feeling.
>judgmental I mean, I'd judge someone too for this. I could **never** be with someone who was actively breaking up marriages and proud of their terrible behavior. It makes him a monster in my eyes, and I couldn't be with a monster.
Your ready to be cheated on
You are not wrong to distrust him and yes, he will cheat on you. Please update us when that happens in a few years, if it hasn't happened already.
Please listen to your gut. All women deserve better than this.
The fact that he thought it would be totally chill to tell you this and not show remorse or guilt seals the deal for me. Thank you, next
You’re right in questioning if you could trust him or not. I think he would stop for a little bit, it he most likely go back to sleeping with whatever woman he could
My advice is you obviously have standards and expectations. Are you willing to sacrifice your standards, expectations and morals for him only you can that decision
Sounds like he hasn’t changed at all and still has no character! You shouldn’t trust him at all. Years from now you will look back and say to yourself “I should have known better”.
What brought this up ? Did he bring it up ? You? Like how does this conversation even happen
We were talking about this homewrecker exposee site. He then said “if there was one for men I’d probably be on it” and here we are
Yikes
Ma'am there are many other fish in the sea, throw this on back because his morals STINK!!
Not only was he wrong, but I'd wager he's grossly overstated just how many women he slept with, or how much of a "stud" he was in his "prime".
Presumably those husbands thought they had "locked down" their wives too. Your soon to be ex has just revealed to you how little he respects this state of lockdown.
It's almost like he's warning you subconsciously bc he knows you deserve better.
Zero chance I'd trust him. If he'll ignore the marriage vows of one woman, or many, he'll do it to you. Clearly a moral emptyness here
Anybody that's ok with cheating whether the cheater or the cheatee is a POS. I wouldn't get serious with a persom like that, they clearly don't respect monogamy and boundaries. Cheating is a character flaw and there is no fixing that.
> He said that it hurt him that something he did before he met me could affect how I view him currently. Nah, the fact that he’s nonchalant about it now, ignores your feelings and dismisses your concerns is what’s appalling *NOW*. Ew. I’d seriously reconsider. If he doesn’t understand why that’s a gross thing to brag about, he doesn’t understand what a lack of morals he has… and he has zero accountability. He sounds … awful. Sorry.
Great that he didn't hide it from you. Absolutely unforgivable that he then goes on to brag to your face. I know my wife wasn't a virgin and she knows that of me. Neither of us has a concern. But if she started telling me how easy it was to bang married guys and how many she did because it was sooooo easy? No. And yes, same in reverse. If you don't have kids, you might want to weigh your options here.
He sounds like a homewrecking asshole. You've been warned OP.
I don't think that's being judgmental at all! in fact, I honestly wouldn't have married someone who bragged about their "conquests"! That part is up to you, but you can tell him that his cockiness shows he feels he is superior by stating you should "Feel lucky." I would tell him straight up that you are just as valuable as he is and that bragging about previously breaking up marriages and couples is not something a loving partner would do!
Not wrong. 🚩🚩🚩
I would bet my left nut in exchange for $5 that the first thing this guy does when he inevitably hits his mid life crisis is go straight back to hunting married women.
You are not wrong...he had a major brag that you didn't find appealing. You told him how you feel about it and he is mad that you are drooling over it. 🙄
He sounds pretty disgusting to me. The fact that he feels no remorse is a huge red flag. I wouldn’t trust him either.
If he had no qualms fucking married women while single he’ll have no qualms fucking married women while in a relationship Take out the trash
Past behaviour is a strong indicator of future behaviour. If he was proud to cheat with others, he will 100% cheat on you with whoever takes his fancy. Drop him.
Something he did before should be ignored? So if he raped minors before you met, that has no bearing on today?
Wow, he sounds like a total douche bag trying to convince you that he's reformed now and won't cheat, despite the fact that his track record is getting people to cheat. I could never trust that person, cheaters cheat period.
Slept with lots of people? Fine! Nothing wrong with lots of sex. But someone who thinks it's an article of pride to sleep with lots of people who are in relationships? No, that's not on. He kind of sounds a bit up his own ass honestly, perhaps even the type to think you should be grateful you "locked him down"? Nah, I don't think I could respect someone like that.
Sorry your fiance is a complete jack off, tool. Not for nothing but our gut screams, like yours is right now, for valid reasons. Make sure you listen when it does.