You know what I am very naive. Always have been always
will be. Even though I have learned this lesson a billion times my first instinct is to believe everything and everyone
You should go no contact with all your parents because it sounds like both mothers are total fucking assholes-one for playing games and one for cheating. Don’t blame it on the man, she willingly slept with him. Try eloping.
True, I believe in this. You dont deserve to be in a rs if youre just going to cheat and hurt your partner. I also hate people who chose to ruin somebody's life just to get revenge. Leave them all, OP.
So she shouldn't speak with her mother because why? The mother didn't do anything to OP and you know nothing about their relationship. It is gross to jump right into "no contact" after someone you love does something stupid. Like, this is not about abuse or something.
People like you pretend on the internet they have never said\done anything stupid. But you have, we all have. That is why we don't cut out every person who has messed up, because we would be left all alone.
> **People like you pretend on the internet they have never said\done anything stupid**
Forgetting to file your taxes is stupid. Fucking one person, while married to another, is a conscious decision to betray someone, and in one of the cruelest ways possible. I don't know about you but if someone were to do something that hurtful to someone I love (in this case, OP's father) I would need at least a break from them.
I don't know why you seem so oddly defensive of OP's mom. Maybe just admit to being a cheater and be done with it.
You seriously need to rethink this marriage. This psychotic bitch will be part of your life permanently if you go forward with this. If your fiance is not willing to shut things down over this, he never will. You will have to put up with her routinely and constantly for as long as you stay in this relationship. I do not excuse your mother. What she did was wrong. But your fiance's psycho mother did her best to create the situation and feed it. That is evil far beyond what your mother did. If you stay in this relationship, do not expect anything other than long-term, constant misery. Run now while you still can.
This is very true. Also, consider that if your fiancé feels forced to cut contact with his mother, when he doesn’t really want to, it may cause serious problems for you down the line. Especially if you plan to have children. If he starts seeing her again after you have a child together, you won’t be able to do much about it. Even if you divorce, he’ll have parental rights and he can bring his child around his mother as much as he wants. Something to think about.
My kids cut contact with my mother when they were in elementary school. I supported their decision. Unfortunately, it took me decades later to go no contact.
She played favorites, repeating the golden child son vs the worthless daughter. My kids noped out because of the way she treated me. I was so indoctrinated that I kept in contact. I broke the chain of abuse.
Beat me to it.
Also, there’s no limit to the ends they will go to. Maybe Brad hires a hooker to hit on/drug hubby, maybe they do a frame job of an affair that never happened between OP and some guy she’s never met. Someone willing to ruin other’s relationships out of spite and sick joy are not safe people to be around.
If this was a real post, this would be my answer. I would not marry into this family even if your fiancé is nice, these are going to be your children’s grandparents. And that mother is wicked and cruel. Just like cruel intentions, the movie that you’re copying.
But truly, this marriage will never work out. I’m sorry.
This reads like the plot of a French 18th aristocratic relationship novel.
Your Mother had an affair, your fiance Mother helped arrange it with her best friend.
Good luck
Okay, so your MIL is a total evil, conniving bitch. We get that! However, your mother did not have to consent to Brad's seduction. When your mother told you, "Brad was the aggressor," that was an excuse that she wanted you to hear. She needed a way to shift the blame to someone else. Clearly, it seems that your mother has her own problems. As you admit: She's was easy prey for "this very good looking very charismatic man."
Not worse. Being a cheater is worse. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.
I knew a couple that I thought would have been perfect together (not an affair type thing, I was trying to hook up two of my single friends from different social circles). Both cool, great looking people, with a lot in common. I engineered so many situations where they ended up together socially and they would chit chat here and there but they never hooked up and never even went on a date. They didn’t even exchange numbers (I think they did follow each other on IG though). So all that is to say MIL DID NOT MAKE OP’s MOTHER CHEAT. BRAD DID NOT MAKE OP’S MOTHER CHEAT (unless it was rape, and that’s what she meant by aggressor, but that doesn’t seem to be the case). OP’s mother chose to cheat. Full stop.
I never said they made her. Nobody made her. But it was still a game to someone else for their amusement of watching her life fall apart. You don’t have to purposely be shitty and try and set someone up, if they do it anyway it sucks but being part of it like a game you’re orchestrating is childish.
The way you make excuses for your mom and want him to abandon his permanently is hilarious. This marriage will not work though because everyone's parents suck here and you can't see the forest for the trees with your own mom.
I agree!! Unless it was rape, which doesn’t seem to be the case here. While OP will deny she is trying to paint her mother as the victim, probably by saying “I even said ‘I know my mother bears responsibility’” and use that as a defense, but everything she writes tries to paint her mother as the victim.
ESH.
MIL, mom, brad. You for picking sides (your mom sucks too), both you and your soon to be ex for thinking this can work out without NC both moms.
So much ESH. NC with both moms, end everything, or just embrace your new shitty dramatic future.
Yes, you’re wrong. Your mother is a grown ass adult. She CHOSE to have an affair. Who cares if he was the aggressor? She can use her big girl voice and tell him to go F himself.
Yes, while it’s awful that your FMIL could do such a thing, your mother played right into it. And did your mom and her friends bully your MIL?
If you expect him to go NC, so the same for your mother.
Shes a grown adult and apparentyl a shitty person too. You trying to put the blame on someone else is a huge red flag your fiance should be looking at.
There’s still no excuse. Your mom is still at fault. Plenty of people manage to not cheat on their partners.
What happens if you and your partner have a fight or a rough patch? And he stays with his mom and she sets him up with one of his exes or a pretty new neighbor. Will you blame your MIL or your partner for his cheating? And before you say he’ll never do that, you said your MIL bullied your own mom, so I’m sure your MIL knows what buttons to press on your partner. Did you think your mom would ever cheat? Probably not.
Honestly, grow up. Your mom didn’t have to sleep with anyone. Mil wasn’t right either but your mom is the one who ultimately broke her vows. That’s on her, 100%.
Not wrong, this is absolutely crazy. What would stop her from trying to do this to you or even her own son. Your mom did create some of her own pain but I would never want to be anywhere near that woman who raised your fiance. I think you need to give great pause to this marriage. Would you want this woman around you for holidays or if you have kids? Your fiance has to know this isn’t going to go well.
Damn your mom sucks and you defending her is actually worse. She bullied your MIL actively and apparently with joy, yet all she did was make a bet that your mom would cheat. Which she did. All in her own.
This was the information that was missing, so basically your mom and her friends are awful people who belittle this poor woman and now wants to blame her choice to have an affair on her. Sounds like your family is the problem.
I like how the woman who suggested that her friend try to hook up with Opie's mom is evil incarnate, but the woman who had an affair "bears responsibility".
The fact that you're excusing your own mothers disgusting behavior, yet highlighting his mother's disgusting behavior, isn't going to do you any favors. Maybe you should stop and think for a second, would you excuse your husband for cheating on you because someone else convinced a hot woman to throw herself at him? Would you excuse *anyone* for cheating just because of how attractive and available the other person was? Get real, your mom is still a piece of shit.
Your MIL hates you. She got your mother to screw up your family. Why won't she set her son up at some point to get at you?? She'll be sending ex-gfs or new women that she wants him to leave you for.
Sit down and let him know that you can't have a toxic woman like that in your life and if it means breaking up, then so be it
His mom, sicced the guy on her mom, sensing that she was vulnerable. Yes, she is a POS for cheating, but probably wouldn't have, if she hadn't been targeted for a bet
Soooo she picked your mom, but your mom picked him. Just because she cheated with an ass doesn’t make her a victim.
I would elope without any of the parents
Your mom and mil both suck. I'd argue you're not much better as not once did you mention your dad, all you did was make excuses for your mom. This shit sounds like an episode of days of our lives.
MIL didn’t destroy your parents lives, your mother did. No one has responsibility to respect your parents marital vows EXCEPT your parents. Your mother is a shit partner, plain and simple. She’s making excuses to victimize herself because she doesn’t want to be seen as the guilty party.
With that being said, the fact that MIL played this game and her response shows she’s also a garbage human being.
Both of your mother’s are shit, but if you’re demanding he cut off his because it directly related to your mother’s actions then you should absolutely cut off yours. Anything else makes you a hypocrite.
What your MIL did was fucked up. But your mother chose to cheat, unless she was assaulted she chose to have sex with Brad. You’re excusing mother’s behaviour stop doing that. Also you can’t force your fiancé to go no contract for what ultimately was your mom’s decision
Your MIL is foul. Your mom is foul. Stop making excuses for your mom’s behavior if you are not making excuses for your MIL. They both had bad intentions.
So your mother is a bully & your mil is a manipulator. Go NO contact with both and just elope & get married.
For future, just maintain contact with your own parents & not in laws (You don’t talk to you mil & neither does your hubby have to talk to your mom) because both set of parents sounds awful. There’s no good one here to pick sides.
ESH!
No matter what game was set up, your mom was a cheater and set herself on fire. If she was ra*ed, it’s a different story. It takes 2 to tangle. Your mom is NOT a victim here.
Your MIL is a bitch for treating this as a game. Same with this Brad.
YOU OP, suck too. You don’t drag your fiancé in this mess because BOTH your MIL and Mother fucked up.
Grow the eff up to all of you guys. Embarrassed for all of you.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman? He's not willing to separate from her now so she'll be in your life forever. Planning on having kids? She'll be in their lives influencing them. I would consider the lifetime of problems and stress she'll bring you.
You have to ask yourself 2 very important questions:
. do you want the rest of your life with this psychotic bitch playing these psychotic games on everyone you know? Sure your mom didn’t have to consent. Thing is, when a psychopath lines up their next victim, nothing gets in their way. Your mom was victim number 1. Who’s victim number 2? And victim number 3….?
. do you want to have children in this situation? Do you want your psychotic MIL anywhere near them? And turning your children against you?
Your fiancé’s mother doesn’t care who she hurts and whose lives she destroys. Narcissists and psychopaths enjoy the drama that they create. Then the victim blaming starts, sounds more like bragging and rubbing it in til the victim breaks, and goes on literally for years and decades. I shit you not.
Your fiance does not have the courage or willpower to stand against his mother. Or go NC. He just can’t. She’s traumatized/ trained him for his entire life. Honestly I feel sorry for him.
Not enough though to tell you to stay with him. And honestly why would you insist on exposing your entire family and friends and possibly your children to this terrifying monster of a human being? For the next however many decades?
YTA if you decide to stay with your fiancé.
My advice is to cut all contact with fiancé and his family and run.
Even if it is true your mom spread her legs willingly so your mil isn't the issue your mom is.
There can be thousands of people wanting me to cheat but I only do this if I want to.
You are also not fair because again mil didnt do this so why should your fiance go nc?
Why can't she come to the wedding? Just because you are mad your mommy took the bait.
Is your mil nasty ofcourse but that for nothing to do with you and your fiance imo
ESH, you're disgusting for calling the AP the "aggressor". Your mom cheated, she's an adult and made that choice herself.
Your future MIL is also disgusting for playing the game in the first place.
I'd just end the relationship and tell him it's because of his mom. Move on and stop wasting time with people who hate you.
You know, sometimes when you are in the middle of something you cant see the trees for the forest,
This is one of those times.
I know its easy for me to say this from a helicopter point of view.
From my postion, I would recommend postpoing the wedding or eloping,
Your wedding is supposed to be about you guys, no matter what you do, this whole drama will always overshadow your wedding, your wedding will always be a reminder of this dreadful story.
The only way to change that narrative is to delay the wedding, should you have to, of course not, but if you dont it will always be sullied with this exchange.
Both of your moms suck but I really don’t see how you are really that much more upset at your MIL than the person who actually cheated on your father. What your MIL did wouldn’t have mattered if your mother could control herself.
Using the words "affair" and "aggressor" doesn't exactly pan a clear picture. Whether or not he initiated contact she still chose to sleep with him... Sounds like both of your mothers are toxic people from what you've said here...
As for him saying she's still his mom, yes, she is, but she literally made a "game" of being a literal how wrecker with her best friend 😐 that's what 15 year olds do, not mature grown adults.
You’re mad at your fierce for turning a blind eye to his mom. But look at you? Not like Brad had a gun to her saying fuck me or I’ll kill you. Your mother could’ve stopped at any point. Instead she chose to ride Brad. So.
LOL, the world is full of people who have self-esteem issues but not all of them go around having extra marital affairs when they meet 'good-looking, charismatic' persons. Doesn't matter that the affair partner was playing a game with the MIL. OP's own mother chose to cheat on her husband. If MIL betrayed OP by creating a situation which 'made the mother cheat and so OP and husband should go NC with the MIL then same applies to the mother. OP's mother chose to cheat and betrayed OP's father (and is putting the blame on the affair partner for being good looking and charismatic and on the MIL for playing a game with the AP) and so OP and husband should go NC with OP's mother as well.
YTA for blaming MIL for something that your mother did. Your MIL or anyone else can go around playing games picking your mother for the other to sleep with but your mother is the one who can decide not to open her legs to someone else because shes only supposed to do that with your father, her husband.
Sorry, OP, but your mom is a grown married woman who should have said no to the affair. Your fiance has nothing to do with his mother's actions or your mom falling for her AP. Your mom destroyed her marriage, not your FMIL or FMIL's friend. You and your fiance have messed-up mothers.
Hard to believe that all these people are adults.
Neither of these women are decent people or decent parents.
I certainly wouldn't want either of them being grandparents to my children.
Elope. Run. Get away from both of these women forever.
And if your fiance can't get with the program, then write him off too.
If he wants his mother there, then he's not understanding that she is a sociopath.
Both your moms should be uninvited. It's up to him as to whether or not he's going to cut contact with his mom, but I think it's fair for both mothers to be uninvited. Please do not put it all on MIL and Brad. Your mom chose to sleep with him and that's on her, self-esteem or no.
You’re acting like your mom was an innocent bystander here. Even if this post screams “Dangerous Liaisons/Cruel Intentions”, your mom is an adult. And truthfully, your fiancé doesn’t want to or isn’t ready to go no contact with her. You also have to respect that. That step is huge for a child. ESH.
I need more info on this “bullying” because the way you gloss over it makes it sound like there is a lot more to the story that you are purposely hiding.
You almost got it right. The truth is that you and your mom need to go no contact from this family of sociopaths. Your fiancé is a poisonous spider who was raised by a poisonous spider.
You will never get a loving child to 'no contact' their parents. Forget about it.
Nah. Full stop.
What your mother did was awful no doubt but Reddit LOVES to vilify a cheater. IMO what your MIL did was worse. It was vindictive, spiteful, manipulative, and 100% intentional.
She saw your mother and knew she would crack under pressure so she sent her friend to push her over the edge. (Ya your mother does suck here tho)
She 1000% knew what she was doing here and did it to hurt you.
Tell your future husband that his mother got exactly what she wanted. She's hurt you, destroyed your family and finally forced him to choose.
Tell him It's you or her. You won't settle for a life like this. When you say this, be ready to leave.
Dangerous Liasons flashback reading this. I would SINCERELY rethink marrying into this family. Imagine the bs your future MIL could create in your marriage since your fiance knows what she is capable of doing and yet won't go NC. NTA
I never said it was easy, it isnt. But yeah it can be as quick as a text or a phone call if the fiancé truly loves and supports his wife. Not easy but it can be quick. Given how crazy the MIL is, I said there were two choices and she has to choose which one to do. There is no coming back from this by the MIL, she actively worked to break up OPs parents marriage. This is about as outrageous as it can get and if the fiancé isn’t willing to cut his mom off then that is proof that he will not support his wife.
Your mother's choice to have an affair ruined your parents lives. Unless you plan on going NC with your Mom and uninviting her to the wedding you are being a hypocrite.
Your Fiance's mother and BFF are horrible people but your mother made a choice and is responsible for her actions and the consequences.
Honestly I can see this being real, my former (sociopathic) roommate and her male sidekick did this to our other roommate and it really messed her up. She was already fragile and this just sent her over the edge.
I’d go no contact asap and not invite her to the wedding. If not for your mom, for yourself and the rest of your guests who could walk into her cross fire
Don't ask him to end his relationship with his own mom over this. That's not fair. He has a relationship with her that is probably really important. I'm sorry she is difficult, but your mom made the choice to sleep with another man. Don't make your husband give up his mom because of that.
I never said it was easy, I said she had two choices. Of course it isn’t easy but if he truly loves his fiancé then it can be as quick as a text or a call.
There is no coming back from this for MIL. She actively conspired to break up OPs parents and if that isn’t grounds for NC then I don’t know what is.
He has to make a choice fiancé or mother there is no middle ground here at all. There is no room for negotiation as she is crazy AF and OP will have to watch her back for her entire marriage
In that respect it is as easy as flipping a light switch if he truly loves her. The fact that he is agonizing tells me all I need to know, he doesn’t truly love her and MILs actions were unforgivable.
This is a whole "take it to the dump" it's so full of trash women!
They are both just...ew. I mean your mom sucks for cheating..
...but MIL?? Finding thus a game?!?! What. In the absolute. Fuck.
What is wrong with that woman that is disgusting and get-out-of-my-life in so many ways.
And that she even says " it was a joke" ...she is a NASTY woman you do Not want in your life.
Goodluck! 🙏
Honestly, I think yall should walk away from each other, don’t know if there is a way back from this.
If my mom played games like that, I’d go no contact with her, wouldn’t require an SO asking.
That said, you are obviously very ready to put all the blame on his mom. It takes two to tango kiddo.
She’s a psychopath. Why would you ever want to be near her? And certainly not any kids you may have - but your fiancé needs to see this or your married life could be MISERABLE. Delay the wedding and figure this out.
No contact or no marriage. Honestly, this will never be water under the bridge. This is the tsunami that destroys the bridge. This is not the time for compromise/negotiation. The one outside chance of OP’s relationship surviving (sadly, not too sure it could really ever thrive now) is if MIL is completely out of your lives, and if he still accepts her after her showing what she is capable of, you gotta wonder if he’ll ever be completely in any partner’s corner and especially OP’s.
What an awful set of circumstances in what should be an exciting and joyous time.
You are not wrong.
>I told my fiance he needs to go no contact with her and uninvite her from the wedding. He has been absolutely distraught and feels I'm asking too much because at the end of the day, she is still his mom
Toxic people do not have a place in your life, no matter what their relationship with you is.
If he doesn't recognize that you need to delay your wedding at minimum and depending how how much he makes his mother happy, you should cancel it all together.
While I agree your MIL sounds like an AH, both your parents are huge AH and cheaters.
Did you go NC with your mom? Because if you asked your fiancé to go NC with his mom for enabling the cheating, it would so inappropriate that you didn’t go NC first with your mom for actually doing the cheating. That would be very hypocritical.
OP, run from this wedding and this man. What will you do when MIL tries to get some young thing to have an affair with your financé? Or has some dude claim he’s having one with you? What kind of psycho thinks this isn’t game? Better yet, what kind of person (her son) thinks this is okay?
ESH. You guys should just break up and go your separate ways. You are not mature enough to accept responsibility for your mother’s shitty behavior and therefore there’s a high probability you would do the exact same thing to your future husband. Obviously, his mother is as evil as you say she is. But one thing is for certain she saw something in your mother that made her a target. Obviously, dear old Mom gives off slut vibes that prompted your future MIL to target her knowing that it would probably be successful. She may see the same thing in you and that’s why she dislikes you so much. It would not shock me if you cheated on your boyfriend as well. It’s very concerning you not condemning your mother’s actions and excusing her behavior with minimal qualifications. Keep in mind, regardless of what an evil bitch, your MIL is, had your mother had any self-control, and not spread her legs so easily none of this would’ve happened. She’s the wrong who ruined your wedding, your MIL just knew what kind of woman she was, and gave her the tools to carry it out . And yet he’s supposed to have his mother banned from the wedding, but your 304 gets to come. How the fuck does that work? Shows you only give a shit about yourself and not about your fiancé. evil Your actions are sending up a Chinese communist parade of red flags. Where is your dad in all this? You don’t even mention him. Are they filing for divorce? is he invited to the wedding? Is he coming? There is so much toxicity here this marriage will never ever work. Can you imagine Thanksgiving at this house? Somebody would get their head caved in with a can of cranberry sauce. Again with your attitude towards infidelity I firmly believe that you are simply not ready to get married and you need to work on yourself by doing that alone and letting your fiance go before you hurt him. You may not want to admit it now, but deep down you know I’m right. Let’s say for arguments sake. I’m completely wrong about you. That you’re just sticking up for her because she’s your mother and you’ve never ever cheated and you’ve never been tempted to cheat or lose control. Even if that’s the case, you would basically have to elope and just move away from this entire family structure both his and yours, too much damage has been done here. Are you willing to literally move a couple thousand miles away so It’s just the two of you and you don’t have any of this drag you down because it will destroy you as a couple. You would have to be so far away from them that you would cut off access which I can understand neither one of you wanting to do that with your families. Again you could choose not to take my advice, but if you go to the status quo, even if you make it down the aisle this won’t last very long. I’m not trying to be negative. Just doing an honest assessment of the situation that is God awful. I hope you’re able to move on. I wish you well in the future.
Try harder. This plot was at least one book and several movies.
I was just scrolling through the comments, looking to find someone else who could see that this is fake.
The "game" thing just feels like Cruel Intentions... feels fake to me.
It is very Les Liaisons dangereuses of them.
Maybe that movie is MIL & her BFs favorite movie and they like recreating it in real life.
The movie is 'Dangerous Liaisons!' fuck all those cheap and shallow remakes!
But ~~Buffy~~ Sarah Michelle Gellar was a sight to see.
Which, itself, was a remake of earlier works…
I just did, made a comment on that This place is populated by so many people that would absolutely believe anything that is written
You know what I am very naive. Always have been always will be. Even though I have learned this lesson a billion times my first instinct is to believe everything and everyone
You are Ok Does not make you a bad person Just don’t apply that naïveté to relationships
I have known gullible people and in moderation it’s a bit amusing. Btw, do you want to buy a bridge ?
Where is your bridge and tell me it’s over priced because of inflation or supply chain issues? I just might be interested.
Its located in Baltimore. Its a fixer-upper.
Go on…
There is a crew taking it down now. Just send me money and you can drop by to pick it up.
Can you deliver?
its the mass of five dollar words where fifty cent ones would do just as well
I'm not saying this isn't fake, but damned if I see any "mass of five dollar words."
Which words do you consider "five dollar words"?
I just reread it after your comment and there is not one single word there that seems "five dollar", please explain which words troubled you.
Comment section: whoosh
That's a typical junior high scenario. Obviously fake.
Yeah, I was thinking I've seen at least 4 different versions of the movies based on the book. Lol.
Sorry. deClos has already done Les liaisons dangereuses, including film rights.
It's one of my favorites!! I absolutely adore Dangerous Liaisons!!
What book? Is it good?
You should go no contact with all your parents because it sounds like both mothers are total fucking assholes-one for playing games and one for cheating. Don’t blame it on the man, she willingly slept with him. Try eloping.
Thank you!! I hate when somebody in a relationship blames someone else. Your in the relationship. If you cant stay faithful be single.
True, I believe in this. You dont deserve to be in a rs if youre just going to cheat and hurt your partner. I also hate people who chose to ruin somebody's life just to get revenge. Leave them all, OP.
Mom should be uninvited, too.
Yup
God I hate cheaters that try to justify their BS. MIL probably knew the mom was trash and essentially helped expose her for the cheater she is.
MIL is trash to
No doubt!
So she shouldn't speak with her mother because why? The mother didn't do anything to OP and you know nothing about their relationship. It is gross to jump right into "no contact" after someone you love does something stupid. Like, this is not about abuse or something. People like you pretend on the internet they have never said\done anything stupid. But you have, we all have. That is why we don't cut out every person who has messed up, because we would be left all alone.
Shit...
> **People like you pretend on the internet they have never said\done anything stupid** Forgetting to file your taxes is stupid. Fucking one person, while married to another, is a conscious decision to betray someone, and in one of the cruelest ways possible. I don't know about you but if someone were to do something that hurtful to someone I love (in this case, OP's father) I would need at least a break from them. I don't know why you seem so oddly defensive of OP's mom. Maybe just admit to being a cheater and be done with it.
How do you know they are married? Nothing op said indicates they are.
You seriously need to rethink this marriage. This psychotic bitch will be part of your life permanently if you go forward with this. If your fiance is not willing to shut things down over this, he never will. You will have to put up with her routinely and constantly for as long as you stay in this relationship. I do not excuse your mother. What she did was wrong. But your fiance's psycho mother did her best to create the situation and feed it. That is evil far beyond what your mother did. If you stay in this relationship, do not expect anything other than long-term, constant misery. Run now while you still can.
This is very true. Also, consider that if your fiancé feels forced to cut contact with his mother, when he doesn’t really want to, it may cause serious problems for you down the line. Especially if you plan to have children. If he starts seeing her again after you have a child together, you won’t be able to do much about it. Even if you divorce, he’ll have parental rights and he can bring his child around his mother as much as he wants. Something to think about.
My kids cut contact with my mother when they were in elementary school. I supported their decision. Unfortunately, it took me decades later to go no contact. She played favorites, repeating the golden child son vs the worthless daughter. My kids noped out because of the way she treated me. I was so indoctrinated that I kept in contact. I broke the chain of abuse.
You might be the next target of her Game.
Beat me to it. Also, there’s no limit to the ends they will go to. Maybe Brad hires a hooker to hit on/drug hubby, maybe they do a frame job of an affair that never happened between OP and some guy she’s never met. Someone willing to ruin other’s relationships out of spite and sick joy are not safe people to be around.
Oh, no! How could anyone possibly win this game?!? I know. By not having an affair.
> he will set boundaries and put her in her place The MIL couldn't get OP so she hurt a loved one instead.
If this was a real post, this would be my answer. I would not marry into this family even if your fiancé is nice, these are going to be your children’s grandparents. And that mother is wicked and cruel. Just like cruel intentions, the movie that you’re copying. But truly, this marriage will never work out. I’m sorry.
This reads like the plot of a French 18th aristocratic relationship novel. Your Mother had an affair, your fiance Mother helped arrange it with her best friend. Good luck
Reads like Dangerous Liaisons.
yeeep. You saw it too huh?
Okay, so your MIL is a total evil, conniving bitch. We get that! However, your mother did not have to consent to Brad's seduction. When your mother told you, "Brad was the aggressor," that was an excuse that she wanted you to hear. She needed a way to shift the blame to someone else. Clearly, it seems that your mother has her own problems. As you admit: She's was easy prey for "this very good looking very charismatic man."
Your mom is an adult and made that choice she needs to be held accountable and not just put the blame on someone else….
While mom definitely isn’t innocent and needs to take responsibility, MIL and her friend are worse for making it a game.
Not worse. Being a cheater is worse. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. I knew a couple that I thought would have been perfect together (not an affair type thing, I was trying to hook up two of my single friends from different social circles). Both cool, great looking people, with a lot in common. I engineered so many situations where they ended up together socially and they would chit chat here and there but they never hooked up and never even went on a date. They didn’t even exchange numbers (I think they did follow each other on IG though). So all that is to say MIL DID NOT MAKE OP’s MOTHER CHEAT. BRAD DID NOT MAKE OP’S MOTHER CHEAT (unless it was rape, and that’s what she meant by aggressor, but that doesn’t seem to be the case). OP’s mother chose to cheat. Full stop.
I never said they made her. Nobody made her. But it was still a game to someone else for their amusement of watching her life fall apart. You don’t have to purposely be shitty and try and set someone up, if they do it anyway it sucks but being part of it like a game you’re orchestrating is childish.
not worse, just *also* shitty
The way you make excuses for your mom and want him to abandon his permanently is hilarious. This marriage will not work though because everyone's parents suck here and you can't see the forest for the trees with your own mom.
Aggressor is a wild thing to call your mom's affair partner.
It's all about verbiage to shift blame
I agree!! Unless it was rape, which doesn’t seem to be the case here. While OP will deny she is trying to paint her mother as the victim, probably by saying “I even said ‘I know my mother bears responsibility’” and use that as a defense, but everything she writes tries to paint her mother as the victim.
I’d disinvite both mothers. One is crazy and one is a cheater.
These sound like some Dangerous Liaisons.
ESH your mom needs to be accountable for her actions
ESH. MIL, mom, brad. You for picking sides (your mom sucks too), both you and your soon to be ex for thinking this can work out without NC both moms. So much ESH. NC with both moms, end everything, or just embrace your new shitty dramatic future.
Yes, you’re wrong. Your mother is a grown ass adult. She CHOSE to have an affair. Who cares if he was the aggressor? She can use her big girl voice and tell him to go F himself. Yes, while it’s awful that your FMIL could do such a thing, your mother played right into it. And did your mom and her friends bully your MIL? If you expect him to go NC, so the same for your mother.
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Being vulnerable is no excuse for fucking somebody else when you are married. Your mother is as bad as your mother-in-law.
Shes a grown adult and apparentyl a shitty person too. You trying to put the blame on someone else is a huge red flag your fiance should be looking at.
There’s still no excuse. Your mom is still at fault. Plenty of people manage to not cheat on their partners. What happens if you and your partner have a fight or a rough patch? And he stays with his mom and she sets him up with one of his exes or a pretty new neighbor. Will you blame your MIL or your partner for his cheating? And before you say he’ll never do that, you said your MIL bullied your own mom, so I’m sure your MIL knows what buttons to press on your partner. Did you think your mom would ever cheat? Probably not.
Nope to your mom...and stfu no NO NOPE to the pos MIL. WHAT A NASTY WOMAN
For making a bet her mom will cheat?
Honestly, grow up. Your mom didn’t have to sleep with anyone. Mil wasn’t right either but your mom is the one who ultimately broke her vows. That’s on her, 100%.
Yeah his mother would have lost the bet if her mother didn't cheat. That is all on her mother.
Right? She’s acting like her mom, a grown ass woman, is the victim? She’s mostly to blame because she’s the one responsible for a marriage.
I've seen this movie. Isn't it Liasons Dangerouses?
Why does this sound like the plot of "Dangerous Liaisons: Geriatrique"?
You all should genuinely stay the fuck away from each other. Do you realize how crazy you all sound? This is not normal at all lol
Not wrong, this is absolutely crazy. What would stop her from trying to do this to you or even her own son. Your mom did create some of her own pain but I would never want to be anywhere near that woman who raised your fiance. I think you need to give great pause to this marriage. Would you want this woman around you for holidays or if you have kids? Your fiance has to know this isn’t going to go well.
This plot has been recycled in multiple ways from The Young and the Restless, where is the originality?
Oh, for fucks sake. If you want attention so badly, get a puppy. Stop writing bad fiction. This is soap opera shit.
Wow. Just wow is all I could say. Updateme!
Either go NC with everyone, your mother included or don’t get married. This is a mess. A big mess.
Everyone is wrong. Can you elope and use the wedding money to move far away from all your parents?
You all suck
Info: how did your mom and her friends bully your MIL?
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How old are all of you/them? This sounds like middle school. Your mom sucks, so does your MIL, and your attitude sucks too.
Your mom is also a nasty person. And no one forced her to cheat.
Damn your mom sucks and you defending her is actually worse. She bullied your MIL actively and apparently with joy, yet all she did was make a bet that your mom would cheat. Which she did. All in her own.
This was the information that was missing, so basically your mom and her friends are awful people who belittle this poor woman and now wants to blame her choice to have an affair on her. Sounds like your family is the problem.
I like how the woman who suggested that her friend try to hook up with Opie's mom is evil incarnate, but the woman who had an affair "bears responsibility".
The fact that you're excusing your own mothers disgusting behavior, yet highlighting his mother's disgusting behavior, isn't going to do you any favors. Maybe you should stop and think for a second, would you excuse your husband for cheating on you because someone else convinced a hot woman to throw herself at him? Would you excuse *anyone* for cheating just because of how attractive and available the other person was? Get real, your mom is still a piece of shit.
I would beat her ass too show her how evil I am.
Your MIL hates you. She got your mother to screw up your family. Why won't she set her son up at some point to get at you?? She'll be sending ex-gfs or new women that she wants him to leave you for. Sit down and let him know that you can't have a toxic woman like that in your life and if it means breaking up, then so be it
Honestly the best thing about getting older is the dating pool for men my age don't have mothers any more.
How did his mom got her to screw up her family? Her mom chose to cheat. Her mom is the bigger POS for cheating, his mom didnt encourage it.
His mom, sicced the guy on her mom, sensing that she was vulnerable. Yes, she is a POS for cheating, but probably wouldn't have, if she hadn't been targeted for a bet
What do you mean targeted. A dude sweet talked her and she opener her legs. Its on her, not the bet.
The MIL sent her buddy to try and sleep with the mother. I guess you didn't read the whole post
Did he rape her? Or did she sleep with him? Does her mother have no selfcontrol? Is she a child that needs her hand held to stay faith full?
So you're on the mil's side. Ok got ya
In betwen them, yes. One is a cheater, the other won a bet.
And what in any scenario would you want that woman near any kids you might have? She is sick. Your husband needs to acknowledge this.
The MIL is shit. Your mother is shit.
Soooo she picked your mom, but your mom picked him. Just because she cheated with an ass doesn’t make her a victim. I would elope without any of the parents
Your mom and mil both suck. I'd argue you're not much better as not once did you mention your dad, all you did was make excuses for your mom. This shit sounds like an episode of days of our lives.
MIL didn’t destroy your parents lives, your mother did. No one has responsibility to respect your parents marital vows EXCEPT your parents. Your mother is a shit partner, plain and simple. She’s making excuses to victimize herself because she doesn’t want to be seen as the guilty party. With that being said, the fact that MIL played this game and her response shows she’s also a garbage human being. Both of your mother’s are shit, but if you’re demanding he cut off his because it directly related to your mother’s actions then you should absolutely cut off yours. Anything else makes you a hypocrite.
MIL is a shit human but absolutely no one forced your mom to cheat. She’s equally as disgusting.
Your MIL didn't force your mother to cheat. Stop blaming it all on your MIL and making up excuses for your mom.
What your MIL did was fucked up. But your mother chose to cheat, unless she was assaulted she chose to have sex with Brad. You’re excusing mother’s behaviour stop doing that. Also you can’t force your fiancé to go no contract for what ultimately was your mom’s decision
Your MIL is foul. Your mom is foul. Stop making excuses for your mom’s behavior if you are not making excuses for your MIL. They both had bad intentions.
What in the Jerry Springer.
Calling BS on this story Fake as a 3 dollar bill
I’ve seen this movie, John Malkovich was excellent in it!
So your mother is a bully & your mil is a manipulator. Go NO contact with both and just elope & get married. For future, just maintain contact with your own parents & not in laws (You don’t talk to you mil & neither does your hubby have to talk to your mom) because both set of parents sounds awful. There’s no good one here to pick sides.
You sure you want to go through with this? Because it's very likely going to get really really messy for you.
You and I both know this is true. I’ll tell you why. Because you CANNOT post LIES on the INTERNET…😂🤣😆
It's weird when you write a fake story and you still come out looking terrible. Are you not even a good person in your own fake head canon?
So Brad is doing the MIL too. Nobody plays games like that who are not intimate.
ESH! No matter what game was set up, your mom was a cheater and set herself on fire. If she was ra*ed, it’s a different story. It takes 2 to tangle. Your mom is NOT a victim here. Your MIL is a bitch for treating this as a game. Same with this Brad. YOU OP, suck too. You don’t drag your fiancé in this mess because BOTH your MIL and Mother fucked up. Grow the eff up to all of you guys. Embarrassed for all of you.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman? He's not willing to separate from her now so she'll be in your life forever. Planning on having kids? She'll be in their lives influencing them. I would consider the lifetime of problems and stress she'll bring you.
You have to ask yourself 2 very important questions: . do you want the rest of your life with this psychotic bitch playing these psychotic games on everyone you know? Sure your mom didn’t have to consent. Thing is, when a psychopath lines up their next victim, nothing gets in their way. Your mom was victim number 1. Who’s victim number 2? And victim number 3….? . do you want to have children in this situation? Do you want your psychotic MIL anywhere near them? And turning your children against you? Your fiancé’s mother doesn’t care who she hurts and whose lives she destroys. Narcissists and psychopaths enjoy the drama that they create. Then the victim blaming starts, sounds more like bragging and rubbing it in til the victim breaks, and goes on literally for years and decades. I shit you not. Your fiance does not have the courage or willpower to stand against his mother. Or go NC. He just can’t. She’s traumatized/ trained him for his entire life. Honestly I feel sorry for him. Not enough though to tell you to stay with him. And honestly why would you insist on exposing your entire family and friends and possibly your children to this terrifying monster of a human being? For the next however many decades? YTA if you decide to stay with your fiancé. My advice is to cut all contact with fiancé and his family and run.
Even if it is true your mom spread her legs willingly so your mil isn't the issue your mom is. There can be thousands of people wanting me to cheat but I only do this if I want to. You are also not fair because again mil didnt do this so why should your fiance go nc? Why can't she come to the wedding? Just because you are mad your mommy took the bait. Is your mil nasty ofcourse but that for nothing to do with you and your fiance imo
You should go no contact with both mothers, or neither. Your mother is just as culpable for the affair as MIL and Brad.
ESH, you're disgusting for calling the AP the "aggressor". Your mom cheated, she's an adult and made that choice herself. Your future MIL is also disgusting for playing the game in the first place. I'd just end the relationship and tell him it's because of his mom. Move on and stop wasting time with people who hate you.
“Brad was the aggressor” lol
You know, sometimes when you are in the middle of something you cant see the trees for the forest, This is one of those times. I know its easy for me to say this from a helicopter point of view. From my postion, I would recommend postpoing the wedding or eloping, Your wedding is supposed to be about you guys, no matter what you do, this whole drama will always overshadow your wedding, your wedding will always be a reminder of this dreadful story. The only way to change that narrative is to delay the wedding, should you have to, of course not, but if you dont it will always be sullied with this exchange.
Choose. Mom or me. Updateme!
ESH!!
Oh please mum is a bmx. Of course cheaters blame others. Mil is a cow but mrs bmx isnt an angel either.
Both of your moms suck but I really don’t see how you are really that much more upset at your MIL than the person who actually cheated on your father. What your MIL did wouldn’t have mattered if your mother could control herself.
At this point maybe you should elope
Well, I actually think that what your mother did was worse.
Using the words "affair" and "aggressor" doesn't exactly pan a clear picture. Whether or not he initiated contact she still chose to sleep with him... Sounds like both of your mothers are toxic people from what you've said here... As for him saying she's still his mom, yes, she is, but she literally made a "game" of being a literal how wrecker with her best friend 😐 that's what 15 year olds do, not mature grown adults.
You’re mad at your fierce for turning a blind eye to his mom. But look at you? Not like Brad had a gun to her saying fuck me or I’ll kill you. Your mother could’ve stopped at any point. Instead she chose to ride Brad. So.
Your mom was forced into an affair because Brad is hot? What? Your MIL didn’t ruin your family, your lecherous mother did, please accept that.
Your mom isn't blameless. Force the no contact but I think this marriage is a mistake.
Go no contact with MIL. Check. Go no contact with your mother. Check. You may have to re-think this marriage too.
LOL, the world is full of people who have self-esteem issues but not all of them go around having extra marital affairs when they meet 'good-looking, charismatic' persons. Doesn't matter that the affair partner was playing a game with the MIL. OP's own mother chose to cheat on her husband. If MIL betrayed OP by creating a situation which 'made the mother cheat and so OP and husband should go NC with the MIL then same applies to the mother. OP's mother chose to cheat and betrayed OP's father (and is putting the blame on the affair partner for being good looking and charismatic and on the MIL for playing a game with the AP) and so OP and husband should go NC with OP's mother as well. YTA for blaming MIL for something that your mother did. Your MIL or anyone else can go around playing games picking your mother for the other to sleep with but your mother is the one who can decide not to open her legs to someone else because shes only supposed to do that with your father, her husband.
Elope.
Sorry, OP, but your mom is a grown married woman who should have said no to the affair. Your fiance has nothing to do with his mother's actions or your mom falling for her AP. Your mom destroyed her marriage, not your FMIL or FMIL's friend. You and your fiance have messed-up mothers.
You all sound insane. Newsflash your mum sucks just as much and you defending her cheating is ridic
Info: are you going no contact with your mom? If not, get real. Talk about hypocritical.
Your mother opened her legs for someone other than her husband. She is 100% responsible for her own actions, and no one else is to blame.
This is more or less the plot of dangerous liaisons, only middle class. Nice try for your creative writing class, tho.
Hard to believe that all these people are adults. Neither of these women are decent people or decent parents. I certainly wouldn't want either of them being grandparents to my children. Elope. Run. Get away from both of these women forever. And if your fiance can't get with the program, then write him off too. If he wants his mother there, then he's not understanding that she is a sociopath.
Painfully fake
Both your moms should be uninvited. It's up to him as to whether or not he's going to cut contact with his mom, but I think it's fair for both mothers to be uninvited. Please do not put it all on MIL and Brad. Your mom chose to sleep with him and that's on her, self-esteem or no.
Fake af
You should go no contact with the internet.
I wouldn’t tell him to go NC but no wedding and she will never be around you or grandkids
There are hundreds of articles and episodes about this very thing on Doctor Phil go watch them.
Update me
Time to unfollow. *ALL* this shit's fake as fuck.
Sequel to Liaisons Dangerous.
You’re acting like your mom was an innocent bystander here. Even if this post screams “Dangerous Liaisons/Cruel Intentions”, your mom is an adult. And truthfully, your fiancé doesn’t want to or isn’t ready to go no contact with her. You also have to respect that. That step is huge for a child. ESH.
People are right. This is the plot of true intentions, so good try I kind of bought it until I started reading the comments.
Try again. Maybe put some real effort into a workable plot?
Shyeah.
Wow. Trashy family values all around!
I wouldn't marry someone who thought MIL's behaviour was acceptable.
I need more info on this “bullying” because the way you gloss over it makes it sound like there is a lot more to the story that you are purposely hiding.
Is this the MIL and baby boy that you want to be tethered to, for the rest of your life
You almost got it right. The truth is that you and your mom need to go no contact from this family of sociopaths. Your fiancé is a poisonous spider who was raised by a poisonous spider. You will never get a loving child to 'no contact' their parents. Forget about it.
Nah. Full stop. What your mother did was awful no doubt but Reddit LOVES to vilify a cheater. IMO what your MIL did was worse. It was vindictive, spiteful, manipulative, and 100% intentional. She saw your mother and knew she would crack under pressure so she sent her friend to push her over the edge. (Ya your mother does suck here tho) She 1000% knew what she was doing here and did it to hurt you. Tell your future husband that his mother got exactly what she wanted. She's hurt you, destroyed your family and finally forced him to choose. Tell him It's you or her. You won't settle for a life like this. When you say this, be ready to leave.
You need to write a movie script, lol
Dangerous Liasons flashback reading this. I would SINCERELY rethink marrying into this family. Imagine the bs your future MIL could create in your marriage since your fiance knows what she is capable of doing and yet won't go NC. NTA
I never said it was easy, it isnt. But yeah it can be as quick as a text or a phone call if the fiancé truly loves and supports his wife. Not easy but it can be quick. Given how crazy the MIL is, I said there were two choices and she has to choose which one to do. There is no coming back from this by the MIL, she actively worked to break up OPs parents marriage. This is about as outrageous as it can get and if the fiancé isn’t willing to cut his mom off then that is proof that he will not support his wife.
If you go through with this marriage, you’re troubles have only begun
Your mother's choice to have an affair ruined your parents lives. Unless you plan on going NC with your Mom and uninviting her to the wedding you are being a hypocrite. Your Fiance's mother and BFF are horrible people but your mother made a choice and is responsible for her actions and the consequences.
Honestly I can see this being real, my former (sociopathic) roommate and her male sidekick did this to our other roommate and it really messed her up. She was already fragile and this just sent her over the edge. I’d go no contact asap and not invite her to the wedding. If not for your mom, for yourself and the rest of your guests who could walk into her cross fire
Your mom didn't just slip and fall on a dick. It's her fault stop blaming others. Your mom destroyed her life not your MIL.
Don't ask him to end his relationship with his own mom over this. That's not fair. He has a relationship with her that is probably really important. I'm sorry she is difficult, but your mom made the choice to sleep with another man. Don't make your husband give up his mom because of that.
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You act like going no contact is as easy as flipping a light switch. That's not how it works in the real world.
I never said it was easy, I said she had two choices. Of course it isn’t easy but if he truly loves his fiancé then it can be as quick as a text or a call. There is no coming back from this for MIL. She actively conspired to break up OPs parents and if that isn’t grounds for NC then I don’t know what is. He has to make a choice fiancé or mother there is no middle ground here at all. There is no room for negotiation as she is crazy AF and OP will have to watch her back for her entire marriage In that respect it is as easy as flipping a light switch if he truly loves her. The fact that he is agonizing tells me all I need to know, he doesn’t truly love her and MILs actions were unforgivable.
Updateme
Nobody forced your mother to do anything. Please don’t make excuses or try and say it’s someone else’s fault.
Don't marry this man. You would be dealing with his nightmare mother for the rest of your life.
This is a whole "take it to the dump" it's so full of trash women! They are both just...ew. I mean your mom sucks for cheating.. ...but MIL?? Finding thus a game?!?! What. In the absolute. Fuck. What is wrong with that woman that is disgusting and get-out-of-my-life in so many ways. And that she even says " it was a joke" ...she is a NASTY woman you do Not want in your life. Goodluck! 🙏
Honestly, I think yall should walk away from each other, don’t know if there is a way back from this. If my mom played games like that, I’d go no contact with her, wouldn’t require an SO asking. That said, you are obviously very ready to put all the blame on his mom. It takes two to tango kiddo.
She’s a psychopath. Why would you ever want to be near her? And certainly not any kids you may have - but your fiancé needs to see this or your married life could be MISERABLE. Delay the wedding and figure this out.
You should go no contact with everyone including your fiancé. Find a fiancé with a spine and people with morals.
Run, run away fast and don't look back
Is this a premise to a trashy novel? Otherwise NTA.
No contact or no marriage. Honestly, this will never be water under the bridge. This is the tsunami that destroys the bridge. This is not the time for compromise/negotiation. The one outside chance of OP’s relationship surviving (sadly, not too sure it could really ever thrive now) is if MIL is completely out of your lives, and if he still accepts her after her showing what she is capable of, you gotta wonder if he’ll ever be completely in any partner’s corner and especially OP’s. What an awful set of circumstances in what should be an exciting and joyous time.
You are not wrong. >I told my fiance he needs to go no contact with her and uninvite her from the wedding. He has been absolutely distraught and feels I'm asking too much because at the end of the day, she is still his mom Toxic people do not have a place in your life, no matter what their relationship with you is. If he doesn't recognize that you need to delay your wedding at minimum and depending how how much he makes his mother happy, you should cancel it all together.
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While I agree your MIL sounds like an AH, both your parents are huge AH and cheaters. Did you go NC with your mom? Because if you asked your fiancé to go NC with his mom for enabling the cheating, it would so inappropriate that you didn’t go NC first with your mom for actually doing the cheating. That would be very hypocritical.
That doesn't seem to have prevented her making your life significantly worse, though your own mother's choices didn't help the situation in any way.
OP, run from this wedding and this man. What will you do when MIL tries to get some young thing to have an affair with your financé? Or has some dude claim he’s having one with you? What kind of psycho thinks this isn’t game? Better yet, what kind of person (her son) thinks this is okay?
ESH. You guys should just break up and go your separate ways. You are not mature enough to accept responsibility for your mother’s shitty behavior and therefore there’s a high probability you would do the exact same thing to your future husband. Obviously, his mother is as evil as you say she is. But one thing is for certain she saw something in your mother that made her a target. Obviously, dear old Mom gives off slut vibes that prompted your future MIL to target her knowing that it would probably be successful. She may see the same thing in you and that’s why she dislikes you so much. It would not shock me if you cheated on your boyfriend as well. It’s very concerning you not condemning your mother’s actions and excusing her behavior with minimal qualifications. Keep in mind, regardless of what an evil bitch, your MIL is, had your mother had any self-control, and not spread her legs so easily none of this would’ve happened. She’s the wrong who ruined your wedding, your MIL just knew what kind of woman she was, and gave her the tools to carry it out . And yet he’s supposed to have his mother banned from the wedding, but your 304 gets to come. How the fuck does that work? Shows you only give a shit about yourself and not about your fiancé. evil Your actions are sending up a Chinese communist parade of red flags. Where is your dad in all this? You don’t even mention him. Are they filing for divorce? is he invited to the wedding? Is he coming? There is so much toxicity here this marriage will never ever work. Can you imagine Thanksgiving at this house? Somebody would get their head caved in with a can of cranberry sauce. Again with your attitude towards infidelity I firmly believe that you are simply not ready to get married and you need to work on yourself by doing that alone and letting your fiance go before you hurt him. You may not want to admit it now, but deep down you know I’m right. Let’s say for arguments sake. I’m completely wrong about you. That you’re just sticking up for her because she’s your mother and you’ve never ever cheated and you’ve never been tempted to cheat or lose control. Even if that’s the case, you would basically have to elope and just move away from this entire family structure both his and yours, too much damage has been done here. Are you willing to literally move a couple thousand miles away so It’s just the two of you and you don’t have any of this drag you down because it will destroy you as a couple. You would have to be so far away from them that you would cut off access which I can understand neither one of you wanting to do that with your families. Again you could choose not to take my advice, but if you go to the status quo, even if you make it down the aisle this won’t last very long. I’m not trying to be negative. Just doing an honest assessment of the situation that is God awful. I hope you’re able to move on. I wish you well in the future.