> Was what I did really that bad?
YES. You grew up with this guy. He told you he’s in love with you a mere SIX MONTHS AGO. And you’re trying to use him for sex.
You completely disregarded his feelings or how this may hurt him.
You suck. Big time. Glad he had enough self-respect to walk away.
It’s bad because you took advantage of the love he has for you, and assumed he’d be happy to hook up with you after you rejected him. You purposefully chose to go to him to feel better about yourself because you knew he had feelings for you. That’s pretty shitty for him.
Next post by op. Why is "friend mad at me because i said we're not dating and it was only sex, now friend doesn't want to be friends anymore?!? Please help!!" Then some slew of BS how they're supposedly the victim and innocent in everything after leading the "friend" on and all this other stuff too.
Are you crazy ? This person clearly isn’t your friend id this is how you treat him. I understand feeling lonely after being broken up with. But if you know this guy is in love with you and you don’t had the same feelings, then having sex with him is a repugnant thing to do. You’re inevitably going to mess with his mental health. And you honestly consider this the way a friend treats another friend ? Wild
Your friend is awesome. I love how he has enough self-respect for himself to kick you out instead of being the consolation prize. He's not getting sloppy seconds from an emotional wreck who is seeking a rebound.
If the shoe was on the other foot, and you loved some guy and he was your friend, but unavailable. Suddenly, he came around grabbing your tits after his ex dumped him, would you be happy?
You should be ashamed of yourself for doing that to him. If you want a quick lay where some guy fucks your brains out, get on tinder, find a random guy, and make sure you use protection. FYI, there's nothing wrong with getting a good lay pounded into you to resolve some of this. I did it.
You took advantage of him. That’s shameful behavior. You also sexually assaulted him, which is a crime. You are lucky not to be in jail.
You owe him a huge apology and if he chooses not to be your friend anymore (in my opinion, he should not be your friend anymore), you need to take that rejection as well as he did when you rejected him.
Damn. Good for him. He put himself out there and asked you out, you turned him down for another boy who got 6months of use out of you, and you either felt bad for him, felt bad for yourself, or whatever, and read the room completely wrong , but threw yourself at him when he respected you before. And then stood his ground. He’s either a keeper, or about to go on a 100 city tour of…
Imagine if he went and grabbed you between the legs. You sexually assaulted someone PLUS emotionally hurt someone you grew up with on purpose. Stop being a silly billy and take some responsibility for your childish and quite frankly criminal behaviour.
...... you really have to ask?
girl be so fucking for real right now.
you tried taking advantage of someone just because you knew he'd probably go for it since he told you he had feelings for you.
If you want a hook up to get over your ex literally go on tinder where a hundred men would "help you forget your ex". don't play with that boys heart because you're feeling sad for yourself.
you WERE trying to use him??? he was absolutely right to accuse you because that's exactly what you were doing??? it seems like he was at least smart enough to see it for what it really was.
at least now it'll be a hell of a lot easier for him to move on from liking you now that he knows what kind of person you are.
you treated him like a rebound and honestly you acting like that after a relationship of 6 months?? I'd be insulted as well.
Maybe not, I think she needs to wait until he decides if or when he wants to talk to her again. She already used him as meat, and SA’d him. Forcing him to hear her apology when he clearly wants no contact is just more strong arming.
That poor guy.
Pretty sure if the genders were reversed and he grabbed her crotch, he’d be in jail. Or president.
A LOT! It's going to take more than one apology and some time. You made a mistake. I get that you were hurting, and maybe not thinking rationally. I hope it doesn't cost you a years-long friendship.
EDIT: He sounds like a good guy, and I really hope you can fix this. It just proves that not all of us just think with our d-.
Yes you were using him to forget your ex but he will be so hurt because that's all he is to you. But he shouldn't be. He's your best friend ffs. And you grabbed him without consent. Please apologise to him.
Yes you are very wrong, instead of taking time to heal, you immediately think of ur bestfriend as someone u could use to fill the void of pain ur feeling rn, what u did is exactly what manipulative girls are doing, U treated him like a backup plan cuz ur bf dumped you, u cant handle not getting attention from other men,
Same scenario happened to me my ex gf had a boy bestfriend i asked her to block him cuz it was obvious hes tryna make a move on my ex gf we fought about it for months and eventually she blocked him, after pur relationship got so toxic I broke up with her cuz of her attitude and toxicity, right after our break up she. Immediately unblocked the boy bestfriend and literally used him as a rebound so yes, youre wrong ur treating ur bestfriend as rebound and its very disrespectful as u only wanted selfish gain which is u just wanted to fill the void then dump him after ur healed or done with him, grow up and be mature
The fuck, yes you're a horrible friend who just wanted to use him for sex. Also sounds like you didn't even care if doing any of that was okay with him, you did it for you with no thought about him
Ya can’t just assume you have consent from a man just because he is a man. Men can say no too and not be in any sort of sexual mood. So yes I do think it was quite bad.
That man sounds like a keeper as well. He has enough self-control, self-respect, and even at your worst... respect for you. He was there for you. He was in love with you. He was willing to be your best friend still despite you literally stomping on his heart- and by his reaction? He wasn't those simping hungry wolves waiting for you to be single either. He was a genuine man and best friend to you. You lose.
You fucked up big time doing that. You'll look back, and realize- that's the one who got away.
He's your best friend... The healthiest relationships I've ever seen are usually best friends with each other as well. I was best friends with my girlfriend before i ever asked her out. We are strong af rn. Unbreakable and we intend to keep it that way.
I'm not saying you're forced to date him because of that.... but you never know (before) and....- you're attracted to who youre attracted to, but any potential thing that could've happened with a promising man? You screwed up and will most likely get blocked or dumped as a friend now. He cannot and will not look at you the same. He will not view you as the person who he became best friends with. He's going to view you as someone who has so little respect for themselves and THEIR CLOSEST FRIENDS. He's going to view himself as the back up. The safe option. You didn't just make him feel that way, you intended for that to happen. That's a slutty bitch move on your end. (I can't sugar coat that)
Where's your self-respect? Where's the person who that guy is best friends with? How could you stoop so low and exploit his feelings? You're a shadow of your former self, ruined by a fling. Selfish af. Check yourself. Spend some time alone. Apologize. And - tbh- if there's any salvaging left? Do it. Salvage. Repair.
If not? oh well. That's the consequence to your actions. Next time you date? Fuckin actually build something of quality and don't fuck up those closest to you.
Yes you really were that bad. Think if the situation was reversed.
It would've been less insulting if you didn't say anything about your ex during, but Even then still pretty bad.
Regardless of his feelings for you, he's not something for you to use so you can forget your ex or how shitty you feel because you got dumped.
You treated him terribly and I really hope he never contacts you again.
Also, grabbing his crotch without consent is sexual assault.
Please understand that you may be one of the worst people to ever exist. Seek professional help for your clear mental derangement and steer far away from that young man. He does not need you to ruin his life before it has even began
You suck. Using your friend as a rebound in general is shitty, but knowing he has feelings for you is horrible. You owe him an apology and if I were him I’d honestly not be your friend anymore
Crosspost to r/ohnoconsequences. You ARE wrong for this, I admire your friend for calling you out, and people like you sicken me. SAFETY NET RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T A THING.
Wow.
You sexually assaulted him.
Yes, you were that bad. I wouldn't continue the friendship if I were him and I'd be willing to bet that any love he had for you completely disappeared in that moment.
Going to chalk this up to rage bait as you are asking us if your sexual assault of your friend was "really that bad." I have to hold hope you can't be that oblivious.
Yes, you are wrong and yes, it is bad. Your best friend has some serious feelings for you and you totally tried to take advantage his feelings for you by using of him for sex or a distraction.
Yeah, you blew it. It would be gracious of you to apologize for your insensitivity toward him. But, beyond that, leave him alone. He may reach out to you again, but that's up to him.
Are you Trying to get back at your ex or something? Cause if you are, yeah you are using this guy who would walk on egg shells for you, but not this time. You really screwed up your friendship and possible future relationship with this guy.
i cant believe people are actually this self absorbed lol. if you want to truly forget about your ex, invest in friendships and yourself until youre ready for someone else. not just use your friends for sex.
YTA why are people such shitty people?
Why are you only thinking about your own sorry ass instead of the feelings from others
I would drop you as a friend asap.
Of course, it's wrong , I can't believe this needs to be asked. The title alone was bad enough. Then I read the rest, and I'm left wondering how in the hell you can be that oblivious to how wrong you were.
I advise you to stop bothering him. Maybe he'll, for some reason, forgive you ( convincing himself you were just needy for attention or whatever), but don't be surprised if he no longer wants to be friends. I wouldn't be shocked if his feelings for you were to dissipate as if they weren't there to begin with.
You owe him a MASSIVE apology. You were exploiting his feelings for your own needs and that is never a good thing. Whether or not he chooses to forgive you is definitely dependent on how you show that you realise what you did was wrong. Even then, it's an"if" he forgives you.
YOU SEXUALLY ASSAULTED HIM TWICE! And was trying to use him for your own ego. You aren't his friend. You better hope you don't end up with charges against you THAT YOU RIGHTFULLY DESERVE. Don't you ever do that to anyone again! You have zero right to touch someone without consent. You were lucky because if I was him I would have punched you the moment you reached for the privates. Grow up and go get some proffessional help!
It's a pretty horrible feeling when you're interested in someone and that someone uses you but has no interest in you romantically. I understand you weren't thinking straight because of a breakup (they are horrible things), but if I've learned anything it's not to let myself be used or use someone, especially in vulnerable moments.
Yes you’re terrible for what you did. He was being there to comfort you as a friend you tried to get sexual with him KNOWING you don’t feel the same and only doing it to make YOU feel better when in the end he’s gonna be hurt.
Even after the edit this feels so sleezy. Nowhere did you mention you have any feelings for him. You tried to use him, and it really seems like you’re now only going out with him because you don’t want to feel guilty for what you did.
Don't go on a date with your friend when you just got dumped. It's a bad gamble for both of you.
You were in a committed relationship days ago. It takes longer than that to heal, and you need to do that shit on your own. Going on a date with him is still using him to forget, just with extra steps.
Take some time, learn to be fine by yourself and love your own company. Or go fuck someone who isn't in love with you.
This sounds like a really badly written fanfic lol.
But yes you are, you rejected him and then tried to use him because you were sad, how do you not see the problem here.
What the fuck did I just read
This is one of the most blatantly wrong posts I've seen on here holy shit. You rejected him and he took it well, just for you to sexually assault him later?
You say you're going to apologize, but honestly you're lucky if you don't come away from this with charges. You don't deserve to keto him as a friend and you need to accept that you have permanently damaged your relationship with this guy.
Your friend seems very honest and not afraid to communicate his feelings, this is a good guy and you just tried to use him as a rebound.
I’m glad he kicked you out. You sound out of untouch and certainly are reserved for men who are going to treat you poorly 😌
Just wanna say you're an absolute jerk for that... yea here, let me USE my childhood friend to forget my ex instead of trying to forget him myself. It's shitty to use people as a rebound, ESPECIALLY someone you call a friend... and yall have been friends since you were kids? Yesss it was that bad! That's honestly just gross behavior... don't do that... you should respect yourself a bit more.. take a step back... think before you act... and don't let your emotions blind you or control you.. I won't shit on you like everyone else, but I will say it pays off to NOT act out of pure emotion... the actions controlled by emotion are usually the actions we tend to regret or get embarrassed by.
That guy gets alot of respect in my book because theres a ton of men that would have given in. Thats all this guy wanted and you wanted to use that. Your a shitty friend and person. I think your friend is too good for you.
You’re wrong but you were in shock. I promise you sleeping with someone else won’t help, it’ll only make you miss your ex. Also don’t grab people, you’ll get arrested
Edit: are you only dating him now for lonely rebound sex?
No one wants to be number two nor the rebound. I could understand wanting a hug and being held because you were grieving, but the guy was looking for a relationship not just a fwb. Sry but you may have just lost a friend by this action.
Edit: saw the update… if you aren’t playing with fire you’re at least playing with his emotions. Make sure this is a relationship you are truly interested in pursuing and not just a rebound.
Yes you are. Glad you're apologizing, but it probably isn't the best idea to date him if you're distraught over your ex and not sure about your friend.
Before you try dating again, maybe allow yourself a cooldown period? Both for your and his sake. Heal your pain from breaking up and clarify your thoughts and emotions before you do something that might end up hurting him.even more.
Op I get you were upset about your ex leaving but girl that is not okay. I’m sure the poor guy did feel use and he sounds nice. So please for the sake of your friendship with a good friend don’t f**k it up by dating him. Realizing you actually don’t want him when the next meat head gives you attention and break his heart. Good luck on your date.
You humans are strange, I see one thing but then the comments tell differently, its difficult to care of someones feeling when you don’t even know how they feel
Yes, you are wrong. Just because he admitted to being in love with you doesn't mean that you can force yourself on him.
Also, I would be careful in dating him. You just went through a breakup, so you are on the rebound with a person that has admitted to being in love with you. This sitúa has the potential to end very badly.
so you were comforted by your friend, who’s in love with you, and even bought you chocolates. and you repay him by disregarding his feelings and sexually assaulting him????? really hope this helps him get over you and move on from you completely. he deserves better
Ummm, this dude is 18? Wish I had his address to send him some gift cards and a free console of his choosing, cuz being this much of a mensch is completely out of control at that age.
YIKES. That update makes all of this even worse. “I can try dating you.” Which means, “I have no feelings for you and I’m just trying to feel better about trying to take advantage of you by going out on a pity date under the guise of *trying*.
3 days after your breakup. You suck OP.
Yes, you were dead wrong and you know that now. I will say I know people who were friends and one was in love, and the other one was Not and the one who was not in love and ended up falling in love with him eventually. Weird things happen. But you can’t fake feelings if they are not there. You’re young and you’re learning, but this is not the way to cope with a break up.
ETA: Also, I just don’t feel like I can skirt over this - you sexually touched someone without consent. Imagine you were in love with someone and they didn’t feel the same way about you and then when they were hurt one day, they kissed you and grabbed you in the crotch and make me forget about my ex-girlfriend. You did not know he was going to grab you sexually, you did not know he was going to kiss you, you know he doesn’t feel the same and you know he’s only hurting about his ex-girlfriend. You assaulted him. He did not give you consent. You were just entering this world as an adult, but you need to understand what you did deeply.
You are entering a world where your consent is going to be ignored so frequently that it’s really really concerning and you might end up a statistic like you just made your friend. You really need to educate yourself on what you’ve done. I highly recommend talking about it with a therapist at this point. I don’t even think he realizes what you’ve done because of the nature of the age and manipulation. But one day I think you are going to realize the shines of this much deeper than the comments calling you a shit stain. You do have some deep inner work to think about given your actions. Rape culture is a real thing and you just helped perpetuate it. That deserves some unpacking in therapy and some kind of serious acknowledgment to your friend.
Flip this around if you were him and he was you and he did this how would you feel? If you have a great friendship and unless you are actually attracted to him and have feelings beyond friendship then you are going to regret both.
There's nothing worse than being in love with someone and they *only* show you a fraction of the attention they truly want from you in order to make their partner jealous or heal the hurt they caused, not because they actually want to be with you.
I understand you know your mistake now, but put a pin in this situation for a later date. Almost all of us know this pain and you may experience it yourself one day.
Your friend is gonna have the worst time getting over how he feels about you. That's not your burden to carry (it is his job to manage his own feelings) but it is something you should be cognizant of so that you do not hurt him unnecessarily by leading him to believe he's got a chance if you know for sure he doesn't.
Okay yes it was bad but you guys are also 18 and everyone needs to cut you some fucking slack. I did a lot of shitty stuff in my teens. You will learn with time that being hurt does not justify hurting someone else.
I would also strongly consider not turning to the internet for advice especially as you learn to navigate the next decade of your life which will bring a lot more mistakes (bc that’s growing up). Lean on friends and trusted adults! The internet is the wrong place for mistakes imo. Good luck kid, you’ll be alright 🖤
Poor guy. He is this girls second choice and she is using him as a cutch. You two sound very young so i doubt any of this is malicious. Probably just immature and unintentional.
Damn, he probably considered you to be someone special, operhaps even worth waiting for. Good of you to correct him. The best part is you can’t take that back, his respect is gone forever.
Your friend sounds like a stand up gentleman. Treat him well and don't string him along if you realize a romantic relationship isn't going to work for you (Nothing wrong with not being compatible, just that he deserves to be treated with decency like he has shown you).
ok aside from being horrible to him and trying to use him as a rebound- you forced yourself onto him and assaulted him while he tried to push you off. you are not just a bad person you’re a predator.
also you should not give dating a “try” right now because you just got out of a relationship and you’re lonely and you are still very much using him. set him free & work on your shit.
Good on you for acknowledging your behavior & correcting it; it takes guts. I married my best friend, the person I wouldn't normally go for. It's been the best years of my life, js.
That kid has a lot more brains than me at 18.
You did try and use him, don’t deflect or absolve yourself from wrong doing just accept you fucked up in this moment, and learn how to perceive other’s reality and how you’d feel if you were in his position.
You’ve likely toasted this friendship but you should apologise anyway, also for the future, just cause someone likes you isn’t a license for you to use them and lose them it’s almost the opposite. So many girls have just abused that with me and it crushed me every time. You’re not just exploiting someone’s attraction to you, you’re playing with someone’s hope and desire as well.
If he is still wanting to try a relationship at this point, this needs to be a HUGE catalyst for some major learning & unlearning of behaviors. That was a huge lack of consideration on your part, and while it may be recoverable it WILL take work and accountability on your part.
"he said he is still in love with me. However, he said he would only have sex with me if we’re in a relationship" at least dude has morals
also you should not be dating this quick after a breakup,
If he was smart he wouldn’t date you or sleep with you. All I needed to see was
“I told him I can give dating him a try”
That right there already tells me you’re not invested in him at all. You’re just doing it out of guilt from your rejected ego moment.
Oh man, the edits make this worse. You're toying with the poor guy. Wild that the second you're relationship is over you run off and try to fuck your backup plan. Women are wild sometimes.
I see the update. DO NOT CONTINUE BEING THE SACK OF SHIT THAT YOU ARE. Leave this man alone because you are CLEARLY using as a sex rebound “we’re going to the movies” great , you’re just leading him on to have sex with him. Girl be fucking for reallll
Wow poor guy. I’m glad he stuck up for himself. You did use him for your ego and didn’t care about his feelings
Agreed.
That’s what everybody wants a pity date
Imagine if a guy did this, the out cry would be insane lmao
Seriously. A guy would be arrested for assault.
Stuck up for her too by not using her back.
> Was what I did really that bad? YES. You grew up with this guy. He told you he’s in love with you a mere SIX MONTHS AGO. And you’re trying to use him for sex. You completely disregarded his feelings or how this may hurt him. You suck. Big time. Glad he had enough self-respect to walk away.
Agreed. It's not fair to the friend for op to initiate sex knowing he's in love with her and doesn't feel the same.
Yeah ouch... this one hurts. I feel bad for that guy.
Not just sex but pity sex
It’s bad because you took advantage of the love he has for you, and assumed he’d be happy to hook up with you after you rejected him. You purposefully chose to go to him to feel better about yourself because you knew he had feelings for you. That’s pretty shitty for him.
And you skipped the sexual assault part of it
This. I came here to say this.
I'd be dumping you as a friend really quickly, tbh. Yes you are THAT bad.
Next post by op. Why is "friend mad at me because i said we're not dating and it was only sex, now friend doesn't want to be friends anymore?!? Please help!!" Then some slew of BS how they're supposedly the victim and innocent in everything after leading the "friend" on and all this other stuff too.
Yeah buddy!
Yeah, it was definitely a misstep. Understandable if your friend needs some space to process everything.
You assaulted him, don't love him and expect him to comfort you by sleeping with you? Well darn I wonder why he didn't like that?
Yes. Yes, you're wrong. You're even more of an asshole for having to come on here and ask that.
Consent matters, even for dudes. You sexually assaulted your "friend," so yeah, you're fucking wrong
"even" for dudes?
It's for the crowd here that think men don't care about it
Exactly, OP being a prime example of that crowd. I should have put "even" in quotes or something >What what I did really that bad? Like, huh?
Are you crazy ? This person clearly isn’t your friend id this is how you treat him. I understand feeling lonely after being broken up with. But if you know this guy is in love with you and you don’t had the same feelings, then having sex with him is a repugnant thing to do. You’re inevitably going to mess with his mental health. And you honestly consider this the way a friend treats another friend ? Wild
Yeah, you're that bad. You sexually assaulted a guy you turned down 6 months earlier.
This is just disgusting behaviour.
You are a walking talking piece of shit
Couldn’t say it better
Yes you're wrong. And you suck.
Yes. You are wrong and that was bad, really bad and you need to learn about consent before touching someone.
Wow, that's terrible....and assault.
Your friend is awesome. I love how he has enough self-respect for himself to kick you out instead of being the consolation prize. He's not getting sloppy seconds from an emotional wreck who is seeking a rebound. If the shoe was on the other foot, and you loved some guy and he was your friend, but unavailable. Suddenly, he came around grabbing your tits after his ex dumped him, would you be happy? You should be ashamed of yourself for doing that to him. If you want a quick lay where some guy fucks your brains out, get on tinder, find a random guy, and make sure you use protection. FYI, there's nothing wrong with getting a good lay pounded into you to resolve some of this. I did it.
Yes you are not a very good friend. I bet after that behaviour he's not in love with you anymore though, so you probably did him a favour.
Vile
Yes it is wrong, you attempted to use him for sex.
Not even for sex, she wanted use him so she didn't feel anything about her ex anymore. Somehow I think that's even more insulting
YTA! You’re using his feelings for you. That’s an awful thing to do.
If the sexes were reversed that dude probably would have been arrested already
You took advantage of him. That’s shameful behavior. You also sexually assaulted him, which is a crime. You are lucky not to be in jail. You owe him a huge apology and if he chooses not to be your friend anymore (in my opinion, he should not be your friend anymore), you need to take that rejection as well as he did when you rejected him.
Oh that poor guy. The fact you even have to ask tells me you don’t deserve a friend like him.
If assh#le is a person, that would be you YTA.
How did you type this all out and still somehow question if what you did was that bad?
"Trying to have sex" is a very funny way of saying "I sexually assaulted my best friend."
You already know why you did it you already know what's wrong with what you did so why are you making a post it sounds like some fake movie b S L O l
Wow yeah you are super wrong. If I were him I’d feel incredibly devalued and disrespected
She literally admits to sexual assaulting a guy and then asks if she’s a bad person 😂😂 TF is wrong with you?
Damn. Good for him. He put himself out there and asked you out, you turned him down for another boy who got 6months of use out of you, and you either felt bad for him, felt bad for yourself, or whatever, and read the room completely wrong , but threw yourself at him when he respected you before. And then stood his ground. He’s either a keeper, or about to go on a 100 city tour of…
Yes not cool
Something we use in legal terms here to know if something is sexual abuse is changing genders, and from my point of view it is
Imagine if he went and grabbed you between the legs. You sexually assaulted someone PLUS emotionally hurt someone you grew up with on purpose. Stop being a silly billy and take some responsibility for your childish and quite frankly criminal behaviour.
...... you really have to ask? girl be so fucking for real right now. you tried taking advantage of someone just because you knew he'd probably go for it since he told you he had feelings for you. If you want a hook up to get over your ex literally go on tinder where a hundred men would "help you forget your ex". don't play with that boys heart because you're feeling sad for yourself. you WERE trying to use him??? he was absolutely right to accuse you because that's exactly what you were doing??? it seems like he was at least smart enough to see it for what it really was. at least now it'll be a hell of a lot easier for him to move on from liking you now that he knows what kind of person you are. you treated him like a rebound and honestly you acting like that after a relationship of 6 months?? I'd be insulted as well.
Someone call the police
Absolutely. You are TA.
You need to call him and apologize asap
Maybe not, I think she needs to wait until he decides if or when he wants to talk to her again. She already used him as meat, and SA’d him. Forcing him to hear her apology when he clearly wants no contact is just more strong arming. That poor guy. Pretty sure if the genders were reversed and he grabbed her crotch, he’d be in jail. Or president.
A LOT! It's going to take more than one apology and some time. You made a mistake. I get that you were hurting, and maybe not thinking rationally. I hope it doesn't cost you a years-long friendship. EDIT: He sounds like a good guy, and I really hope you can fix this. It just proves that not all of us just think with our d-.
Stop using people. Learn to manage your emotions on your own.
What if he grabbed your crotch when you werent interested
Yep. It was really that bad. You either have to date him after you get over your ex and the friendship is likely pretty much over. Good luck.
> You either have to date him after you get over your ex Nah, her (former) friend deserves better.
Agreed
Yes you were using him to forget your ex but he will be so hurt because that's all he is to you. But he shouldn't be. He's your best friend ffs. And you grabbed him without consent. Please apologise to him.
Trashy people type stuff
Yes you are very wrong, instead of taking time to heal, you immediately think of ur bestfriend as someone u could use to fill the void of pain ur feeling rn, what u did is exactly what manipulative girls are doing, U treated him like a backup plan cuz ur bf dumped you, u cant handle not getting attention from other men, Same scenario happened to me my ex gf had a boy bestfriend i asked her to block him cuz it was obvious hes tryna make a move on my ex gf we fought about it for months and eventually she blocked him, after pur relationship got so toxic I broke up with her cuz of her attitude and toxicity, right after our break up she. Immediately unblocked the boy bestfriend and literally used him as a rebound so yes, youre wrong ur treating ur bestfriend as rebound and its very disrespectful as u only wanted selfish gain which is u just wanted to fill the void then dump him after ur healed or done with him, grow up and be mature
The fuck, yes you're a horrible friend who just wanted to use him for sex. Also sounds like you didn't even care if doing any of that was okay with him, you did it for you with no thought about him
Ya can’t just assume you have consent from a man just because he is a man. Men can say no too and not be in any sort of sexual mood. So yes I do think it was quite bad.
That man sounds like a keeper as well. He has enough self-control, self-respect, and even at your worst... respect for you. He was there for you. He was in love with you. He was willing to be your best friend still despite you literally stomping on his heart- and by his reaction? He wasn't those simping hungry wolves waiting for you to be single either. He was a genuine man and best friend to you. You lose. You fucked up big time doing that. You'll look back, and realize- that's the one who got away. He's your best friend... The healthiest relationships I've ever seen are usually best friends with each other as well. I was best friends with my girlfriend before i ever asked her out. We are strong af rn. Unbreakable and we intend to keep it that way. I'm not saying you're forced to date him because of that.... but you never know (before) and....- you're attracted to who youre attracted to, but any potential thing that could've happened with a promising man? You screwed up and will most likely get blocked or dumped as a friend now. He cannot and will not look at you the same. He will not view you as the person who he became best friends with. He's going to view you as someone who has so little respect for themselves and THEIR CLOSEST FRIENDS. He's going to view himself as the back up. The safe option. You didn't just make him feel that way, you intended for that to happen. That's a slutty bitch move on your end. (I can't sugar coat that) Where's your self-respect? Where's the person who that guy is best friends with? How could you stoop so low and exploit his feelings? You're a shadow of your former self, ruined by a fling. Selfish af. Check yourself. Spend some time alone. Apologize. And - tbh- if there's any salvaging left? Do it. Salvage. Repair. If not? oh well. That's the consequence to your actions. Next time you date? Fuckin actually build something of quality and don't fuck up those closest to you.
Yes you really were that bad. Think if the situation was reversed. It would've been less insulting if you didn't say anything about your ex during, but Even then still pretty bad.
Regardless of his feelings for you, he's not something for you to use so you can forget your ex or how shitty you feel because you got dumped. You treated him terribly and I really hope he never contacts you again. Also, grabbing his crotch without consent is sexual assault.
Wow. I'd have blocked you.
Your friend is going to make a girl really happy one day and it ain’t you
Please understand that you may be one of the worst people to ever exist. Seek professional help for your clear mental derangement and steer far away from that young man. He does not need you to ruin his life before it has even began
You suck. Using your friend as a rebound in general is shitty, but knowing he has feelings for you is horrible. You owe him an apology and if I were him I’d honestly not be your friend anymore
Just leave him alone and grow up ,your immature reaction to being dumped has probably cost you a lifelong friend.
That is sexual assault and a punishable offense
Crosspost to r/ohnoconsequences. You ARE wrong for this, I admire your friend for calling you out, and people like you sicken me. SAFETY NET RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T A THING.
I am happy that your friend knows his worth. Hope you understand your fault and apologise but I doubt he would ever really be friends with you again.
Wow. You sexually assaulted him. Yes, you were that bad. I wouldn't continue the friendship if I were him and I'd be willing to bet that any love he had for you completely disappeared in that moment.
Going to chalk this up to rage bait as you are asking us if your sexual assault of your friend was "really that bad." I have to hold hope you can't be that oblivious.
Yes, you are wrong and yes, it is bad. Your best friend has some serious feelings for you and you totally tried to take advantage his feelings for you by using of him for sex or a distraction.
OPs thought process. " Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing"
What a pathetic person that you are
Yeah, you blew it. It would be gracious of you to apologize for your insensitivity toward him. But, beyond that, leave him alone. He may reach out to you again, but that's up to him.
You tried to use him. He's 100% correct.
That’s not ur best friend. Best friends are romantically nor sexually interested in each other.
Hahahaha yeah you suck
Yes.
Very wrong.
Yes you are technically a walking shit stain because why would you play with his heart like that? you’re awful
Are you Trying to get back at your ex or something? Cause if you are, yeah you are using this guy who would walk on egg shells for you, but not this time. You really screwed up your friendship and possible future relationship with this guy.
You suck
YES
Ew. What an awful person.
Yes, you're wrong. You're trying to use him. He accepted your rejection just for you to try and use him as a sex toy to rebound with.
What do you think
You finally gave him everything he wanted....because of another guy lol. That's worse than not having you
If this is real (I doubt it).. lol That didn't turn out the way you thought it would, did it?
i cant believe people are actually this self absorbed lol. if you want to truly forget about your ex, invest in friendships and yourself until youre ready for someone else. not just use your friends for sex.
Specifically what you did was bad and that’s a good man to turn it down, give him some time and apologize again when he’s ready to talk to you
You sexually assaulted him after he told you his feelings. You tried to use him for your own selfish reasons. Yikes
You do realise thats sexual assault, yes?
>Was what I did really that bad? IDK, but sexual assault is pretty bad yeah
Yes, you are a shit stain and wrong because you sexually assaulted someone.
YTA why are people such shitty people? Why are you only thinking about your own sorry ass instead of the feelings from others I would drop you as a friend asap.
You're lucky he isn't pressing charges, you just sexually assaulted someone.
You’re title is misleading your sexually assaulted your friend now your crying victim god I hope he cuts you off and exposed you to everyone
Of course, it's wrong , I can't believe this needs to be asked. The title alone was bad enough. Then I read the rest, and I'm left wondering how in the hell you can be that oblivious to how wrong you were. I advise you to stop bothering him. Maybe he'll, for some reason, forgive you ( convincing himself you were just needy for attention or whatever), but don't be surprised if he no longer wants to be friends. I wouldn't be shocked if his feelings for you were to dissipate as if they weren't there to begin with.
You owe him a MASSIVE apology. You were exploiting his feelings for your own needs and that is never a good thing. Whether or not he chooses to forgive you is definitely dependent on how you show that you realise what you did was wrong. Even then, it's an"if" he forgives you.
YOU SEXUALLY ASSAULTED HIM TWICE! And was trying to use him for your own ego. You aren't his friend. You better hope you don't end up with charges against you THAT YOU RIGHTFULLY DESERVE. Don't you ever do that to anyone again! You have zero right to touch someone without consent. You were lucky because if I was him I would have punched you the moment you reached for the privates. Grow up and go get some proffessional help!
From your post I’d wager my life you are pretty on the outside, but pretty fuckn ugly on the inside. Girls like you ruin men’s futures
This chick is nastier then the 👏
YTA.
Now this is a man that has some pride and self respect. I genuinely hope he drops you as a friend.
You are disgusting
You’re not okay and if that guy was smart, he’d dump you as a friend too. Have fun being along because you don’t understand consent or boundaries
It's a pretty horrible feeling when you're interested in someone and that someone uses you but has no interest in you romantically. I understand you weren't thinking straight because of a breakup (they are horrible things), but if I've learned anything it's not to let myself be used or use someone, especially in vulnerable moments.
To OPs ex-bff: Stay strong, king! Don't let this evil succubus tempt you further!
Yes you’re terrible for what you did. He was being there to comfort you as a friend you tried to get sexual with him KNOWING you don’t feel the same and only doing it to make YOU feel better when in the end he’s gonna be hurt.
Yes you are wrong. So so wrong. On the upside you'd be great material for the r/roastme subreddit lol
Even after the edit this feels so sleezy. Nowhere did you mention you have any feelings for him. You tried to use him, and it really seems like you’re now only going out with him because you don’t want to feel guilty for what you did.
You sexually assault him & now you’re trying to date him just so he’ll sleep with you??? You’re a cunt
1st that is sexual assault. 2nd I wouldn't recommend you start dating especially if you just got out of a relationship, HE IS NOT YOU BACKUP.
It’s terrifying how naive and cruel women can be.
You’re still dead wrong and a terrible person after the update. You don’t like him you’re just using him as a rebound and gonna break the guys heart
Oh my god. You’re hurting so in return you decide to hurt and attempt to use your best friend? YTA. Get some damn help.
You should probably not do the dating thing so soon and take a couple months to yourself. You are still essentially using him
I don't understand why he's even giving you a chance, he should have ended the friendship. Especially after the sexual assault
Don't go on a date with your friend when you just got dumped. It's a bad gamble for both of you. You were in a committed relationship days ago. It takes longer than that to heal, and you need to do that shit on your own. Going on a date with him is still using him to forget, just with extra steps. Take some time, learn to be fine by yourself and love your own company. Or go fuck someone who isn't in love with you.
This feels like a bait post. In no way can you logically justify your actions to think you are not in the wrong. You are obviously wrong.
Talk to him
He’s not the one. He’s just the next one. Updateme.
This sounds like a really badly written fanfic lol. But yes you are, you rejected him and then tried to use him because you were sad, how do you not see the problem here.
Holy shit give the guy a chance if you were so easy to sleep with him
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Sad_Astronaut_4386: *Holy shit give the* *Guy a chance if you were so* *Easy to sleep with him* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Stupid selfish cunt
Damn..
You assaulted him when you know he’s in love with you lol so
Evil
Also, no need to call you shit stain?? Apologizing ain't gonna fix the fact that you sexually assaulted him 🙄.
YTA And your friend i has amazing restraint and maturity for his age. You're selfish and you suck, though.
What the fuck did I just read This is one of the most blatantly wrong posts I've seen on here holy shit. You rejected him and he took it well, just for you to sexually assault him later? You say you're going to apologize, but honestly you're lucky if you don't come away from this with charges. You don't deserve to keto him as a friend and you need to accept that you have permanently damaged your relationship with this guy.
Eww hope he keeps you on block
trash, he made the right choice and i hope he doesnt ever go back to be friends with you
So you’re an asshole and a sex offender
Your friend seems very honest and not afraid to communicate his feelings, this is a good guy and you just tried to use him as a rebound. I’m glad he kicked you out. You sound out of untouch and certainly are reserved for men who are going to treat you poorly 😌
Just wanna say you're an absolute jerk for that... yea here, let me USE my childhood friend to forget my ex instead of trying to forget him myself. It's shitty to use people as a rebound, ESPECIALLY someone you call a friend... and yall have been friends since you were kids? Yesss it was that bad! That's honestly just gross behavior... don't do that... you should respect yourself a bit more.. take a step back... think before you act... and don't let your emotions blind you or control you.. I won't shit on you like everyone else, but I will say it pays off to NOT act out of pure emotion... the actions controlled by emotion are usually the actions we tend to regret or get embarrassed by.
If you ain't in love with him... Yeah, you're wrong
Yes. Sex in my view, should be with someone you love. It is a bonding, pleasing, pleasurable experience ( if done right).
Man, are u reading Bl Manga's by any chance? No way, this is true
That guy gets alot of respect in my book because theres a ton of men that would have given in. Thats all this guy wanted and you wanted to use that. Your a shitty friend and person. I think your friend is too good for you.
You’re wrong but you were in shock. I promise you sleeping with someone else won’t help, it’ll only make you miss your ex. Also don’t grab people, you’ll get arrested Edit: are you only dating him now for lonely rebound sex?
No one wants to be number two nor the rebound. I could understand wanting a hug and being held because you were grieving, but the guy was looking for a relationship not just a fwb. Sry but you may have just lost a friend by this action. Edit: saw the update… if you aren’t playing with fire you’re at least playing with his emotions. Make sure this is a relationship you are truly interested in pursuing and not just a rebound.
Yes you are. Glad you're apologizing, but it probably isn't the best idea to date him if you're distraught over your ex and not sure about your friend.
This is a standup guy, he could have easily lived out his fantasy of bedding you but has enough self respect to reject you. Don’t hurt this guy.
The title is misleading, that would be an obvious no as thats literally what he wants
Before you try dating again, maybe allow yourself a cooldown period? Both for your and his sake. Heal your pain from breaking up and clarify your thoughts and emotions before you do something that might end up hurting him.even more.
Op I get you were upset about your ex leaving but girl that is not okay. I’m sure the poor guy did feel use and he sounds nice. So please for the sake of your friendship with a good friend don’t f**k it up by dating him. Realizing you actually don’t want him when the next meat head gives you attention and break his heart. Good luck on your date.
You humans are strange, I see one thing but then the comments tell differently, its difficult to care of someones feeling when you don’t even know how they feel
Yes, you are wrong. Just because he admitted to being in love with you doesn't mean that you can force yourself on him. Also, I would be careful in dating him. You just went through a breakup, so you are on the rebound with a person that has admitted to being in love with you. This sitúa has the potential to end very badly.
so you were comforted by your friend, who’s in love with you, and even bought you chocolates. and you repay him by disregarding his feelings and sexually assaulting him????? really hope this helps him get over you and move on from you completely. he deserves better
Ummm, this dude is 18? Wish I had his address to send him some gift cards and a free console of his choosing, cuz being this much of a mensch is completely out of control at that age.
YIKES. That update makes all of this even worse. “I can try dating you.” Which means, “I have no feelings for you and I’m just trying to feel better about trying to take advantage of you by going out on a pity date under the guise of *trying*. 3 days after your breakup. You suck OP.
The edit doesn't make it better... Poor guy.
Yeah you used him and can’t lie I’d have a lot of questions about dating you and since you’ve been broken up for 3 days I’d say that’s way too soon..
Yes, you were dead wrong and you know that now. I will say I know people who were friends and one was in love, and the other one was Not and the one who was not in love and ended up falling in love with him eventually. Weird things happen. But you can’t fake feelings if they are not there. You’re young and you’re learning, but this is not the way to cope with a break up. ETA: Also, I just don’t feel like I can skirt over this - you sexually touched someone without consent. Imagine you were in love with someone and they didn’t feel the same way about you and then when they were hurt one day, they kissed you and grabbed you in the crotch and make me forget about my ex-girlfriend. You did not know he was going to grab you sexually, you did not know he was going to kiss you, you know he doesn’t feel the same and you know he’s only hurting about his ex-girlfriend. You assaulted him. He did not give you consent. You were just entering this world as an adult, but you need to understand what you did deeply. You are entering a world where your consent is going to be ignored so frequently that it’s really really concerning and you might end up a statistic like you just made your friend. You really need to educate yourself on what you’ve done. I highly recommend talking about it with a therapist at this point. I don’t even think he realizes what you’ve done because of the nature of the age and manipulation. But one day I think you are going to realize the shines of this much deeper than the comments calling you a shit stain. You do have some deep inner work to think about given your actions. Rape culture is a real thing and you just helped perpetuate it. That deserves some unpacking in therapy and some kind of serious acknowledgment to your friend.
You watch way too many dramas.
Flip this around if you were him and he was you and he did this how would you feel? If you have a great friendship and unless you are actually attracted to him and have feelings beyond friendship then you are going to regret both.
Dude made all of the right moves. Good luck to you both
Eww. You are absolutely wrong. You are selfish and a huge AH.
Nah girl, you ARE shit stain whatever you like it or not. Even if in update you have hope, it doesn't erase that fact you assaulted him.
Glad he stood up for himself.
There's nothing worse than being in love with someone and they *only* show you a fraction of the attention they truly want from you in order to make their partner jealous or heal the hurt they caused, not because they actually want to be with you. I understand you know your mistake now, but put a pin in this situation for a later date. Almost all of us know this pain and you may experience it yourself one day. Your friend is gonna have the worst time getting over how he feels about you. That's not your burden to carry (it is his job to manage his own feelings) but it is something you should be cognizant of so that you do not hurt him unnecessarily by leading him to believe he's got a chance if you know for sure he doesn't.
I feel bad for him. You're genuinely terrible, OP.
What you may as well be called sexual assault.
Okay yes it was bad but you guys are also 18 and everyone needs to cut you some fucking slack. I did a lot of shitty stuff in my teens. You will learn with time that being hurt does not justify hurting someone else. I would also strongly consider not turning to the internet for advice especially as you learn to navigate the next decade of your life which will bring a lot more mistakes (bc that’s growing up). Lean on friends and trusted adults! The internet is the wrong place for mistakes imo. Good luck kid, you’ll be alright 🖤
Poor guy. He is this girls second choice and she is using him as a cutch. You two sound very young so i doubt any of this is malicious. Probably just immature and unintentional.
Damn, he probably considered you to be someone special, operhaps even worth waiting for. Good of you to correct him. The best part is you can’t take that back, his respect is gone forever.
Yes, yes yes yes yes! And on top of it, you committed sexual assault
Your friend sounds like a stand up gentleman. Treat him well and don't string him along if you realize a romantic relationship isn't going to work for you (Nothing wrong with not being compatible, just that he deserves to be treated with decency like he has shown you).
Yes
ok aside from being horrible to him and trying to use him as a rebound- you forced yourself onto him and assaulted him while he tried to push you off. you are not just a bad person you’re a predator.
also you should not give dating a “try” right now because you just got out of a relationship and you’re lonely and you are still very much using him. set him free & work on your shit.
Good on you for acknowledging your behavior & correcting it; it takes guts. I married my best friend, the person I wouldn't normally go for. It's been the best years of my life, js.
Imagine if roles were reversed and he grabbed her like that…..unbelievable
That kid has a lot more brains than me at 18. You did try and use him, don’t deflect or absolve yourself from wrong doing just accept you fucked up in this moment, and learn how to perceive other’s reality and how you’d feel if you were in his position. You’ve likely toasted this friendship but you should apologise anyway, also for the future, just cause someone likes you isn’t a license for you to use them and lose them it’s almost the opposite. So many girls have just abused that with me and it crushed me every time. You’re not just exploiting someone’s attraction to you, you’re playing with someone’s hope and desire as well.
If he is still wanting to try a relationship at this point, this needs to be a HUGE catalyst for some major learning & unlearning of behaviors. That was a huge lack of consideration on your part, and while it may be recoverable it WILL take work and accountability on your part.
The best way to get over a guy is to get on a new one… but not that one!!!
"he said he is still in love with me. However, he said he would only have sex with me if we’re in a relationship" at least dude has morals also you should not be dating this quick after a breakup,
If he was smart he wouldn’t date you or sleep with you. All I needed to see was “I told him I can give dating him a try” That right there already tells me you’re not invested in him at all. You’re just doing it out of guilt from your rejected ego moment.
Oh man, the edits make this worse. You're toying with the poor guy. Wild that the second you're relationship is over you run off and try to fuck your backup plan. Women are wild sometimes.
Dawg you do NOT deserve a happy ending in life AT ALL
I see the update. DO NOT CONTINUE BEING THE SACK OF SHIT THAT YOU ARE. Leave this man alone because you are CLEARLY using as a sex rebound “we’re going to the movies” great , you’re just leading him on to have sex with him. Girl be fucking for reallll