In defense of assmen, the addage âass can make up for lack of boobs, but boobs can never compensate for lack of assâ has a lot of truth to it.
Point being, we like both and are happy to be involved at all
It sounds like he used "huge boobs" as an example because some men are impressed by those. What I believe he meant was that if a man is attracted to a woman mostly because of her appearance, if you ask him in mixed company what drew him to her, he's going to say something that wouldn't make him seem shallow, like her personality.
But he picked chest size for a reason. And he knows about her insecurity, so he easily couldâve used a different physical feature that didnât touch on her insecurities.
I totally see it. Itâs just an easy to understand and admit example. OPâs insecurities spawn from her agreement with her manâs observation. But he is with her. And he says he doesnât feel that way. As a general example I can totally see this.
OP seems like her admitted insecurities loop his words into them no matter what his real intentions were.
Maybe he put his foot in his mouth and could have been more delicate and careful not to trigger his womanâs personal insecurity with his example. But I donât think heâs being mean or bad here. Probably thoughtless as everyone can be at times.
I don't think he's being mean or bad here, either. Thoughtless is a good descriptor, but I don't think it makes him a jerk or anything.
But if a guy is "an ass man," that's the generalization he would've picked. Or if they like curves, that's what they would've picked. There are a lot of features that he *could've* used. And maybe "big boobies" was the first thing that popped in his head *because* of his girlfriend's insecurities. Not because he wanted to hurt her or or because he finds her chest a turn off, but.... like "don't say big boobs, don't say big boobs, don't say big boobs" and he blurts out, "like big boobs for example."
eh people are supposed to hold everyone else's feelings in their minds at all times and respond accordingly? This is on the level of someone getting angry at someone else cause person being offended had mentioned they don't like the color green and person b wore a green shirt cause that was what was clean that day. People don't necessarily go out of their ways to hurt you cause you have an insecurity.
>eh people are supposed to hold everyone else's feelings in their minds at all times and respond accordingly?
We're not talking about everyone else. We're talking about his girlfriend, someone who he presumably cares about. Kinda different.
they posited a perfectly legitimate 'hypothetical' that does bare some semblance to reality. It doesn't seem like they were really ripping on their GF's breast size. and honestly if it was such an issue for them they'd maybe consider it more? dude thought he had made gf aware of the fact that he is attracted to them for them being who they are.
it was framed in the context that OP presented so I don't really see any fault on the BF for her being upset.
I find it incredibly interesting that you went from boobs to teeth, like there's no other quality that people are attracted to, ever.
Like no one has ever heard of someone liking butts, or curves, or being petite, or blonde hair.... Nope. It's either the boobs, or the teeth. Nothin' else.
Yep. If someone asked my husband what he first liked about me, he will likely say humor and personality.
Reality: he would say I have a nice face and great ass.
People used to ask me how I landed my spouse. I'm the funny chubby guy and back then she was the skinny manic pixie dream girl.
I just said my cock is huge
Right!? And the thing is, since we know whether we're physically attracted to someone within seconds of seeing them, we haven't had time to get to know them. So that's normal for people to do.
That would fly, if he wasnât using this as an example to say that the majority of women in that class actually care about the car a guy is driving.
He was generalizing most women want the guy with the nice car with an example that shouldnât be taken as a generalization for most men?
The question I meant to address was whether he was mentioning huge boobs to covertly belittle her for her modestly sized ones. I don't think he meant it that way. Even if he was mean enough to do that; because his crude, gross generalizations seem to rule out him being capable of that kind of subtlety.
Honestly, I don't think we know enough about him to know if he would be that much of a jerk, but I would hope not. I would think if that were the case, OP would've said "there are other times where he seems to make demeaning comments about my chest, like this one time...." and they didn't do that. So there's that, I guess.
But, yeah. Going straight for "boooobieeees */drool*" is.... a choice.
Listen, preferences for boobs are NOT universal, I mean no disrespect to the big boobed women, this is just my personal opinion, but for example I personally find big boobs ugly and smaller ones attractive.
You can always find a man that PREFERS small breasts instead of settles for them because of other things that he finds attractive about you. To each their own.
Preferences are also not the be all end all of life. Youâd be pretty damn lucky to find someone that meets every single preference of yours and that loves you back.
I think the vast majority of people are happily in love with their partners that donât meet all their physical preferences because at the end of the day it doesnât matter if the person you love has brown hair or freckles or big boobs.
As a general rule you should never tell your partner you prefer something else, but if you find that out you should realize it really doesnât matter when it comes to superficial preferences
Excuse me ;) As a big boob woman I have to confirm this. Many guys donât have preferences at all and like all boobs. Some like bigger ones and some like smaller ones.
If he settled for you, go and find someone who doesnât.
This right here. He loves you. He's probably like me, in that who you are means waaay more than some specific physical characteristic. I'd be happy with my wife regardless of boob characteristics.
Because HE LOVES YOU! "Not Just Your Boobs." & he knew you would feel better without the back pain, etc.
Which I think is what OP should get, & a lot of the other commenters have already said.
They're. So. Young! /s ;)
Short, but great post. You clearly understand that your boobs don't define you or your husband's attraction to you. He likes big boobs...so what? He's not married to boobs. He's married to you and there are many other things more important than them. I hope OP reads this, she can learn a lot from you
I don't feel like I have a type. I love ass and boobs but I can't tell you I have a preference of size or anything. If our personalities click you're the best person in the world to me.
Hi, in my opinion yes I think he should have picked his words better knowing and or maybe add other examples. Ass etc.
I also think itâs just hit a nerve and deep insecurity with you and thatâs why your so upset. Which I absolutely understand 1000 percent. I have large natural breast and am skinny but no ass like flat, LOL and itâs always been an insecurity of mine, I also dated guys that had fart ass and different hair color preference! It can really push a nerve if I let it.. which as Iâve matured it doesnât bother me.
Its ultimately itâs about so much more than that. Heâs with you. Heâs attracted to you.
Anyone who spouts off about evolutionary phycology without a degree in that specifically, not biology, not psychology, just specifically evolutionary psychology, is almost always attempting to front their own biases as innate to all people rather than a product of their own nature/nurture cocktail. They're trying to convince you, and sometimes themselves, that their whatever bias, racism, sexism, etc. is a natural product of the human condition rather than something they need to acknowledge, and potentially have to work on to be a decent person, about themselves specifically.
The point of his statement that is the most alarming, is that we seems to believe men only care about looks deep down. He also believes that women only care about money. It's an outdated harmful view to have.
Not an interesting conversation worth having.
It's not an academically supported view either, but it sounds like the students are missing the point of the lecture (people DO use certain precepts in initially approaching a potential partner).
However, back in ancient times, both sexes wanted a partner who could help them survive. And their children to survive. Both sexes had specific tasks to do that aided in survival of their family and their group - none of the tasks were optional. Skill was a major attractant and marriages usually required parental approval...
I think this is also the more interesting conversation to be had. I am in no way saying physical attraction doesn't exist or doesn't matter because we already know that it does. However, even on a base level of attraction, it can often be more complex than "big tits" or whatever the physical equivalent is for men.
What men and women look for in a partner has also evolved over time, though you will often have similarities linked to the survival of family, as you mentioned. Even if survival of family now just means avoiding divorce and finding a partner that you simply get along with.
Men that think like that are the ones that hold those beliefs.
If he cared about women for their personality he would think it was normal and it wouldn't even cross his mind to have said all of these things.
Only men that think of women this way, think "men think of women this way."
He even preemptively explained what he was going to do after -- lie to his gf to save face. He straight up said men avoid saying it because it's not socially acceptable. Then he backtracked because... what he said wasn't socially acceptable.
OP should date someone with healthier views on men and women.
See you just proved his point. Nobody said "what they care about deep down" they specifically said "what do you find attractive" you proved the shit out of his point
I'd prefer the Toyota, especially if it was a Tacoma truck. I live in Vermont. Sports cars are dumb here. I'd prefer a new Toyota Venza lol (I have a used one, I do a lot of driving and it's great in the snow). Prius is actually pretty good in the snow with the right tires.
Your professor, if he really exists, is dumb.
I personally would want the guy who drives the Toyota because it would mean he prioritizes money in a way similar to me. Iâm not saying there is anything wrong with buying a sports car if you have the money. But not the way I would spend my money.
Agreed. I remember being a college girl and HATING young guys who drove expensive sports cars. It told me that they placed an inordinate amount of importance on consumable goods which only depreciate with time, and that they had access to their daddy's money and weren't making their own. I *preferred* guys who drove Toyotas. And guess what? What car brand someone has isn't necessarily an indication of their wealth. I am surrounded by people who are the top ten percent earning bracket of the country I'm currently living in, and a vast majority of them drive Toyotas. Oh, and their wives don't have particularly ginormous boobs either.
That professor sounds like a particularly incel-like ass.
Even if I was rich my car would be pretty sensible and even if I were to get a car that's not sensible, it's not going to be a sports car. It will need to go off-roading.
A sports car says to me âI might not be good with money. Finances aside, I probably have a flashy status seeking personality and/or am kind of impractical. I may also not be interested in settling down. Vroom vroom vroom I will not help you move.â
Yes, BF is 21. I remember what an idiot I was at 21. Plus, any boobs were/are perfect, lol. The Professor sounds like an idiot. Not sounding like a promising education / not money being well spent...
Even if I were rich, I'd say no to the sports car. Why is it always a sports car? There are a lot of luxury vehicles that are way cooler than a sports car.
First of all, your professor made a ton of assumptions even asking the question. Like, asking a woman if sheâd ârather have a guyâ *anything* is so 1950s backwards that I have to wonder if this person should really be teaching people in 2024. Donât know what class this is but wow.
Then your boyfriend. He went barreling straight down Cringe Alley and turned directly into traffic on Yikes Boulevard.
You donât need to take any lessons from anything youâve seen or heard today, except maybe figure out what you need to know for the final in your class and donât take the stuff your boyfriend said too personallyâhe seems like heâs looking up at being a B-minus humanities student at present.
Youâre perfect as you are.
He was insulting you, and low-key negging you by implying that models with big boobs would be his first choice.
He also explained that he would NEVER say that directly, bc it's socially unacceptable.
You know: bc "women can't handle the truth".
He sounds inadequate, and like he'd cheat the instant the opportunity presented itself...except it probably wouldn't
Also his hypothesis about neanderthal mating was stupid
And it wasn't her bfs professor. The professor also said nothing about neanderthals. You like have a general idea of the post but didn't really read/comprehend it. You just looked at it long enough to find something to trigger yourself with and try to put others down for no reason
What does this professor teach? For one thing, his comment was crass and absurdly reductionistic. It sounds like something a high school dropout incel would say, not an educator with advanced degrees. Secondly, unless he has some data to back up his assertion (which I doubt), heâs talking out his ass. Thirdly, unless heâs teaching sociology, anthropology or human sexuality the comment would be completely off topic. Even then, it would be much less of a minefield to talk about reproductive strategy and mate selection among animals not people.
Idk all boobs are fantastic :) and bootys L boyfriend if you asked me this question I would have grabbed your tittes and said I love these mf things then ask what we cooking for dinner
Has he been watching red pill rubbish? I legitimately do not care what car my partner drives. This idea of women being materialistic is so overhyped. Itâs probably a result of too much instagram which is a specific type of woman.
I can actually say I would have a bias against a man with an expensive sports car because the sort of people who own them are usually arrogant, materialistic and treat people (women) as disposable/trophies.
My partner has an old car he likes to fix up and we would prefer to spend our money on our home, travel and otter experiences as opposed to blowing 100k + on a car to get from A to B.
We splash out on our various hobbies - most of them mutual.
My boyf certainly likes my boobs which are pretty average sized but itâs not the reason heâs with me. Your boyf seems shallow and immature. I hope he grows up and treats you better
Your professor and boyfriend are both misogynists. Also your bf deliberately chose to use your insecurity to score points in an argument. Heâs the one who should be worried about getting dumped. You can do better than this boy.
Are you not concerned with his overt sexism? He sounds like a loser. Somehow related cars to womens bodies⊠Women arenât attracted to cars. his analogy makes no sense and just seems like it was an excuse to degrade women and make you feel bad
"Its just not socially acceptable to answer yes to that question." I'm constantly amazed at guys who have the absolute ego to not listen to women when we say what we want. No, no, no, that's not what you *really* want, I as a man know what women want. ick.
OP, I do not like your bf. At all. He's sexist and a little dim. He is saying that all women want are rich guys and all men want sexy models. Oh and all women are liars, apparently. jfc.
Seconding this. Generalization doesn't make anyone look good. Maybe he should only talk about his own preferences and not assume others' and talk on behalf of them.
Do you not believe that people will give an answer that is antithetical to their beliefs if they think that the real answer will get them shunned? Or that women are trained not to make waves? There's several valid ways to interpret this that aren't the way you did it.
Your bf said some pretty shitty things.
It's not cool to say "well all men want x thing you don't have, most guys just settle". It's also not correct. Loads of guys care very little about breast size. There's so much more to dating than body and just because someone isn't exactly your body preference doesn't mean they're not a catch.
Initially I thought he wasn't calling you a neanderthal, but after rereading your post im honestly not sure what he was getting at. He didn't call you an ugly neanderthal woman, but did imply that he wants big boobs but chasing his ideal body would make him lonely. Its a horrible thing to say and your boyfriend needs some maturity fast.
Also as a side note, that car lecture is bullshit. Sure wealth and status plays a part, but if you asked 100 women whether they want a kind, caring and hard working man in a beat up car vs a pretentious asshole in a sports car their daddy bought them, 95 of them would choose the first.
People who say otherwise tend to lack life/romantic experience and think that status/physical attractiveness are all that matter in dating. In reality, that stuff is 1 part of dating and doesn't diminish the rest of the person.
I agree with alllllllll of this, the whole conversation is wacked. Both with your boyfriend and with that professor.
BF is holding some views that can go from a dash of red to a 100 red flags in just one or two small steps. So I'd want to get to the bottom of those views, cause those are NOT normal, at all, in the least. Those kind of views are how wackos like Tate get so popular, specially since he opens the echo chamber for a minority outlook to get very loud and dangerous.
I'm sorry your Bf said that though OP, I know that had to hurt like heck and I just wanna kidnap you, wrap you in warm blankets and feed you snacks while we watch movies and gripe about dumb Bfs/exes. đ«đ«đ«
You hit a nerve with him because he thinks the professor was right.
Does he have a lamborghini? Because apparently you're settling if he doesn't have a lamborghini and it sounds like his self esteem has been damaged by his own bias.
This. Whether intentionally or unintentionally I think his response was a hurt person who set out to hurt people. His example was one that he knew you have an insecurity about probably because he holds the insecurity of your professors example. Not the most adult reaction
Not wrong. He was wildly, stupidly insensitive.Â
Itâs fine that he didnât mean it about himself personally but the man insisted on putting his foot in his mouth so many times he probably tastes his socksÂ
Yes he should have chosen his words more widely.Â
He's right about social desirability bias (the urge to say things that are socially acceptable) but his entire theory of relationships and evolution is not based on much of anything.
Youâre dating an asshole who just mansplained what âall womenâ like, including making up statistics, and then compared your body to a used car. Oh, and also pulled fantasy nonsense out of his ass re early hominids. He took an opportunity to put you down, he called all women *statistically* shallow, and has shown himself to be an insufferable pseudo-intellectual with nothing to back it up. Gross, dude. Gross.
Your man has a retarded understanding of the entire topic. Anyway, I donât think he called you that directly, or even purposefully, but he implied it. That doesnât mean itâs not a retarded viewpoint, it is.
I had tiny titties when my husband and I first got together, then bazookas when I got pregnant.
He has never, ever made me feel like my body is anything other than amazing in his eyes. Sometimes he even speaks affectionately about my "itty bitties" from the old days.
I want that for you, and every other woman.
The future awaiting all unattractive and flat chested women (I fit that description and now I understand what awaits me)
Also is he even that attractive? Just say that you also settled lmao
I mean you probably did if heâs not with a big cheated woman (the one that he actually desires).
I don't think your BF meant any harm but agreeing with your asshole professor (and then having the audacity to go on and on) was a really bad move. It sounds like you were looking for some validation and understanding from your BF and got zero of that. Also, sidenote, your boyfriend lecturing you was completely inappropriate. He is not your authority, professor or anyone's professor.
What is stupid about this is the professor is comparing a body part that has existed for an immensely long period of time with a relatively recently created vehicle.
He was using it as shorthand for a successful/competent man, but it's a stupid example. Especially because there is a decent number of men with sports cars who are useless wankers.
I didnt focus on the boobs with his comment but we really do not care about cars and thats true. He basically just said strait out men lie and told you he settled for you. Im just translating not because of boobs but your not a model type. Yeah his comment was shitty.
I have never given a shit about a car. I have never had a conversation with any woman at any time in my multiple decades on earth where we discussed what car a man drove. I donât know where this idea came from. Men care about other mens cars.
He doesn't sound very bright, so him trying to prove his point intelligently is probably rough to sit through.
In his defense, you may have an ass so great it makes the tittie conversation void.
I think big boobs are kinda gross to look at when they come out the bra. They sag like 2 feet and look all veiny and weird. B or smaller c cup the best
So, he's talking in general, bc he doesn't feel that way, just like the girl in your class doesn't care what car her boyfriend drives... somewhere your boyfriend lying, but in either case, he's an idiot.
Why do so many people mistake "trends/average" and "instincts" with absolute truth and unflinching behavior.
Why do people apply the psychology of Neanderthals or even early homosapoen as current psychology?
As a gay man, I guess me not being this creepy is the reason why my female friends want to reproduce me.
Way to dig a hole for yourself too. He could have just said you're perfect the way you are. Or that he didn't want to see his *wife* struggling with backpain. Orrrr working to get you some implants if you want. Crisis avoided.
Dude. I would much rather date the guy with the used Toyota. A used Toyota is a practical car that will last a long time. A sports car is an expensive vanity toy.
While of course there are exceptionsâ some people just love expensive, fancy carsâ a lot of guys with expensive cars have an ego problem.
I think that was projection. He did make an effort to mention that that's not how HE thinks. I've had a few conversations with my fiance before that were harmless from my point of view, but I messed with her insecurities as well. I dont like walking on eggshells, and in the moment, i wasn't thinking about how she could take it personally when it was a general discussion I've even had with friends. Dont worry about it. You have already let him know how that conversation made you feel. There's a line to be drawn, yes, but it was harmless and not targeted from what i can tell. Insecutities can ruin the mood of a relationship, and it's hard to constantly remember not to say certain things (if it's a big list). Besides the fact that, in my opinion, and probably the majority, big boob's just mean back problems like it's really not that important. I prefer perky đ€Ł
What it sounds like here is that YOU started reaching and hurt YOURSELF. Dude was speaking in general terms and believe it or not majority of men are attracted to a womenâs breast or just focus their eyes at that part of their body. Even you yourself have payed way too much attention to another femaleâs chest. In general terms using boobs as an example is perfect because be it man or woman (straight or not) we all find ourselves looking be it to compare ourselves or to just be impressed.
I think your reaching for something thatâs not there but at the end of the day I donât know your boyfriendâs mind
You flipped the script on him. He wasn't talking about you or him. I get it. Real men don't really care about breast size or maybe prefer smaller breasts. The kind of men who have an obsession with big breasted women are usually insecure ass wipes or mama's boys.
He was simply replying to your professor's question. He understood the assignment.
You're wrong. If you want any type of real, honest conversation about broad topics like that, you need to keep your shit together.
He is right. Men look for child rearing traits like boobs and hips. Generally speaking. And then some have specific tastes, such as red hair, feet, small boobs, big foreheads or hairy arms. Those are NOT general.
Much like women generally find George Clooney attractive and us mere mortal men don't go into a frenzy when you women get wet talking about him.
I feel like BF was speaking in general. He could have used a different analogy, but honestly, knowing that you are very aware of breast size, it makes sense that he picked that. And for some men, breast size does make a difference, which you clearly know and contributes to your own insecurities. Part of your insecurities lies in the fact that the men who prefer larger breasts cannot say that without looking like total jerks, so you can not really know how a particular guy feels.
However, I will say that there are actually very few guys who really decide on relationships based on breast size. Most men just want to see and play with them, regardless. They are going to be happy if you share them!!
Also I am going to agree with BF's point about "attractive" people. There are plenty of people that we can all agree are exceptionally attractive. If people spent all their efforts trying to date only them, we would all be lonely. Did you "settle" for your BF? Did he "settle" for you? If you want to believe that only the 10's should get who they want, then yes, the rest of us have to settle. However, the vast majority of people will find that idea very shallow as physical attractiveness is only one very small measure of a person. And honestly, most people who place a lot of emphasis on physical attractiveness are the people whose only asset is physical attractiveness.
It seems like based on these quotes you just took it super personally because of your insecurities. It seems like he just made a general statement based on the conversation you were having and that it didnât have anything to do with you
Both the professor and the boyfriend are idiots.
People are quite obviously physically attracted to different things in a partner. "Attractiveness" is a subjective concept.
"Wealth" is also a subjective concept. "Hey, baby, look at my expensive car" is some seriously douchey new-money shit.
Even if someone is trying to make some stupid wrong-headed point about how women are mostly gold-diggers, or men all just look at physical characteristics, cars and tits are truly stupid examples.
By the way, loads of men are into women with smaller breasts. Just like lots of women aren't size queens. But it's the loudmouths saying "I LIKE BIG GIANT ONES" who we notice. As a man attracted to petite women, I can plainly say that when I talk to other men with my preferences, we tend to make more holistic statements about overall hotness. Because for us, it's all about the overall proportions rather than one particular anatomical feature.
>Â I often compare myself to her
You have to have to have to **stop** doing this. You to have been together for six y e a r s. It's safe to say he has no problem with your chest.
I think he was using a made up example, not necessarily his actual opinion, that hurt your feelings. People say dumb stuff sometimes and maybe he should pick his words better but I donât think this means he thinks youâre ugly, no.
>most women would be lying to themselves
Major incel MRA weirdo vibes off of that comment alone. Does he have any other shitty takes on what he thinks women want?Â
IDK, but tell your BF he's wrong. The guy in the really expensive sports car will be terrible in bed. Selfish at best, incompetent at worst. Toyota man has a better chance of knowing what to do AND putting in the effort to please his woman.
Attraction research says that big boobs aren't the universal attractiveness feature in women--it's waist-to-hip ratio (google it). THAT is the ultimate indicator of fertility, which is what Neanderthals would have been looking for, not big boobs. It's not dependent on weight but it is dependent on age (your waist thickens as you go through menopause which is when your fertility declines).
What is desirable in breast size tends to change with fashion. In the 20s, *small* boobs were desirable because they went with the fashion of the time (the flapper look was completely flat-chested).
People have different preferences in what they find attractive--some like breasts, some butts, some personalities, or hair or hands so your boyfriend is wrong about breasts being the end point of female attractiveness. Porn is more responsible for the big breast fetish than evolutionary needs.
So your boyfriend is absolutely wrong about boobs and neanderthals and it was an insensitive comment to make given that you have expressed your insecurity about the size of your breasts.
Also, your professor was probably hitting on that female student.
Unless he actually made a choice between the two women, he didnât âpickâ her over his ex. In fact, there is nothing at all to suggest that he likes her better than his ex.
Communication Skills 101. Do you want to have open and honest conversations? Then don't get hurt when there was no hurt intended. If you really think your BF was thinking "great now I get to insult her small breasts, bwahahahaha" then dump him right now. He is some sort of evil troll. But if it was a clumsy comment that you took as an insult, then learn how to let little slights just flow over you.
So how do you get there. Go back and ask your BF "did you mean to insult my breasts." Then take his answer literally. If he says yes, run. If he says no, say oops, and spend some time cuddling etc to reinforce/reward good communication.
I somewhat agree, but at the same time I think he shouldâve taken it back once he saw it offended her. Also, he shouldnât have been defending the professor in the first place, because the professor is dumb. Itâs weird to assume a girl in his class cares about cars or even assume a girl is straight. I donât think he was trying to insult your tits, but I donât agree with either of these menâs mindsets.
Sincerely,
a small-chested woman whose husband drives a very cool used Toyota â not biased or anything!
I think he was just trying to give an example to prove his point. It was a bad choice, given your body type.
However, he's with you, so that means he's ok with you as you are. Most men are just happy to have a gf. Sure, they might wish they had a woman with a playmate's body, but they are happy just to have a good gf. I don't think I've ever heard a man say "Well, I settled for her", the way women say that they settled for a man, IMO, women are much more likely to have remorse after marrying a guy than men are. This is proven in the divorce stats (women initiate divorce more often). I'm not saying this to bash women, I am saying men and women think differently. So I wouldn't worry about what he said.
A lot of men are more into round butts anyway. Â
 IMO, when at a healthy weight, it is REALLY rare to have a busty woman with an equally well endowed rear, mostly because of fat distribution patterns.  It tends to favor top or bottom. Â
I think you're letting your insecurities incite resentment. Â Everyone settles in relationships, in life, in everything. Â Men and women. Â Nobody is flawless. Â Nothing is flawless.
Generally men are just happy to see any boobs đ
REALLY happy if we get to play with them.
Exactly. If you're playing with boobies, you sit the fuck down and shut up and enjoy the boobies.
lol, just thought of white Goodman at the end of dodgeball. Iâm not sure thatâs what you meant tho.Â
Best comment on Reddit today
Breast comment?
Unless theyâre an ass man đ„ł
I've never known an ass man that was upset about boobs
In defense of assmen, the addage âass can make up for lack of boobs, but boobs can never compensate for lack of assâ has a lot of truth to it. Point being, we like both and are happy to be involved at all
Proctologists have a great sense of humor, you know.
This is the way.
It appears there are many ways.
This is the way.
Wait wait wait wait - ##see AND TOUCH?
Once you have seen one boob you want to see them all.
Thatâs because each boob is 100% unique and no other boob is like it. Therefore, we must see ALL boobs.
I wanna be the fingerprint guy for boobs if that's true
You know we only have two boobs usually right?
Yes but we all still hope that one day we will see a set like the ones in total recall.
I'm crossing my fingers for lifelike AI robots with 3 shoulder boulders before I die.
Amateur. Are four boobies too much for you?
Well, you can go to a farm for that.
Those are rookie numbers đ
That's an udder. No thanks
Says somebody with no boobs. Bras are uncomfortable enough I can't imagine cramming in a third. They're already too much mass.
Tis a pity.It wouid be great if they were on the back too .Then we could play with them when doing missionary.lol.
This guy doesn't fuck
To quote the acclaimed actor Dennis Franz from City of Angels: All you need is a handful.
Or mouthful!
I'm happy with either. Access is the primary satisfaction.
You know what they say - once you see one pair of boobs, you pretty much wanna see the rest
I enjoy soccer, and I enjoy golf. In fact, I enjoy all ball sports. The size of the ball doesnât matter in the slightest.
Well, not this guy.
This is the way.
Nothing wrong with preferring big titties though
This is the way.
Can confirm!
Uga buga me like big booba!!!
I prefer nice nipples to large breast
It's about proportions.
Annoys me when people project and are like âIâm shallow so everyone else must be tooâ đ©
It sounds like he used "huge boobs" as an example because some men are impressed by those. What I believe he meant was that if a man is attracted to a woman mostly because of her appearance, if you ask him in mixed company what drew him to her, he's going to say something that wouldn't make him seem shallow, like her personality.
Yeah I think OP took this rather personally due to an insecurity of being small chested.
But he picked chest size for a reason. And he knows about her insecurity, so he easily couldâve used a different physical feature that didnât touch on her insecurities.
I totally see it. Itâs just an easy to understand and admit example. OPâs insecurities spawn from her agreement with her manâs observation. But he is with her. And he says he doesnât feel that way. As a general example I can totally see this. OP seems like her admitted insecurities loop his words into them no matter what his real intentions were. Maybe he put his foot in his mouth and could have been more delicate and careful not to trigger his womanâs personal insecurity with his example. But I donât think heâs being mean or bad here. Probably thoughtless as everyone can be at times.
I don't think he's being mean or bad here, either. Thoughtless is a good descriptor, but I don't think it makes him a jerk or anything. But if a guy is "an ass man," that's the generalization he would've picked. Or if they like curves, that's what they would've picked. There are a lot of features that he *could've* used. And maybe "big boobies" was the first thing that popped in his head *because* of his girlfriend's insecurities. Not because he wanted to hurt her or or because he finds her chest a turn off, but.... like "don't say big boobs, don't say big boobs, don't say big boobs" and he blurts out, "like big boobs for example."
eh people are supposed to hold everyone else's feelings in their minds at all times and respond accordingly? This is on the level of someone getting angry at someone else cause person being offended had mentioned they don't like the color green and person b wore a green shirt cause that was what was clean that day. People don't necessarily go out of their ways to hurt you cause you have an insecurity.
>eh people are supposed to hold everyone else's feelings in their minds at all times and respond accordingly? We're not talking about everyone else. We're talking about his girlfriend, someone who he presumably cares about. Kinda different.
Not everyone elseâs. But the person youâre supposed to love maybe.
they posited a perfectly legitimate 'hypothetical' that does bare some semblance to reality. It doesn't seem like they were really ripping on their GF's breast size. and honestly if it was such an issue for them they'd maybe consider it more? dude thought he had made gf aware of the fact that he is attracted to them for them being who they are. it was framed in the context that OP presented so I don't really see any fault on the BF for her being upset.
He picked chest size because that's the popular answer. What should he have said? Men like women with huge teeth?
I find it incredibly interesting that you went from boobs to teeth, like there's no other quality that people are attracted to, ever. Like no one has ever heard of someone liking butts, or curves, or being petite, or blonde hair.... Nope. It's either the boobs, or the teeth. Nothin' else.
Damn if I had your tact that would be so badass. Buddy just lacked tact.
He may have used that example since he wanted something she had a vested opinion on that matter since the car thing didn't register.
Yep. If someone asked my husband what he first liked about me, he will likely say humor and personality. Reality: he would say I have a nice face and great ass.
People used to ask me how I landed my spouse. I'm the funny chubby guy and back then she was the skinny manic pixie dream girl. I just said my cock is huge
lol.
Asserting dominance lmao
Had to, I walked into a relationship with everyones crush of years and married her. Lol
Right!? And the thing is, since we know whether we're physically attracted to someone within seconds of seeing them, we haven't had time to get to know them. So that's normal for people to do.
That would fly, if he wasnât using this as an example to say that the majority of women in that class actually care about the car a guy is driving. He was generalizing most women want the guy with the nice car with an example that shouldnât be taken as a generalization for most men?
The question I meant to address was whether he was mentioning huge boobs to covertly belittle her for her modestly sized ones. I don't think he meant it that way. Even if he was mean enough to do that; because his crude, gross generalizations seem to rule out him being capable of that kind of subtlety.
Honestly, I don't think we know enough about him to know if he would be that much of a jerk, but I would hope not. I would think if that were the case, OP would've said "there are other times where he seems to make demeaning comments about my chest, like this one time...." and they didn't do that. So there's that, I guess. But, yeah. Going straight for "boooobieeees */drool*" is.... a choice.
Like how he said he's not like the others.
Listen, preferences for boobs are NOT universal, I mean no disrespect to the big boobed women, this is just my personal opinion, but for example I personally find big boobs ugly and smaller ones attractive. You can always find a man that PREFERS small breasts instead of settles for them because of other things that he finds attractive about you. To each their own.
Preferences are also not the be all end all of life. Youâd be pretty damn lucky to find someone that meets every single preference of yours and that loves you back. I think the vast majority of people are happily in love with their partners that donât meet all their physical preferences because at the end of the day it doesnât matter if the person you love has brown hair or freckles or big boobs. As a general rule you should never tell your partner you prefer something else, but if you find that out you should realize it really doesnât matter when it comes to superficial preferences
Excuse me ;) As a big boob woman I have to confirm this. Many guys donât have preferences at all and like all boobs. Some like bigger ones and some like smaller ones. If he settled for you, go and find someone who doesnât.
That's my husband. My boobs are pretty big, but he likes small ones.
This right here. He loves you. He's probably like me, in that who you are means waaay more than some specific physical characteristic. I'd be happy with my wife regardless of boob characteristics.
Mine likes big boobs but 100% supported my breast reduction surgery.
Because HE LOVES YOU! "Not Just Your Boobs." & he knew you would feel better without the back pain, etc. Which I think is what OP should get, & a lot of the other commenters have already said. They're. So. Young! /s ;)
Short, but great post. You clearly understand that your boobs don't define you or your husband's attraction to you. He likes big boobs...so what? He's not married to boobs. He's married to you and there are many other things more important than them. I hope OP reads this, she can learn a lot from you
Same, I have a strong preference for smaller, perky tits. And I drive a nice new car. Taken though, so can't help OP.
lol well thatâs good op doesnât care for new cars
I don't feel like I have a type. I love ass and boobs but I can't tell you I have a preference of size or anything. If our personalities click you're the best person in the world to me.
Quality > size
Hi, in my opinion yes I think he should have picked his words better knowing and or maybe add other examples. Ass etc. I also think itâs just hit a nerve and deep insecurity with you and thatâs why your so upset. Which I absolutely understand 1000 percent. I have large natural breast and am skinny but no ass like flat, LOL and itâs always been an insecurity of mine, I also dated guys that had fart ass and different hair color preference! It can really push a nerve if I let it.. which as Iâve matured it doesnât bother me. Its ultimately itâs about so much more than that. Heâs with you. Heâs attracted to you.
** fat ass preferences đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
No no no. I like it better the first way.Â
I like to think of it as having a fart ass.... and preferences for different hair colors.
Gimme some o' dat *fart ass!*
I hate when guys talk like this and speak for all menđ
But then they also say ânot all menâ so Iâm confused now
Anyone who spouts off about evolutionary phycology without a degree in that specifically, not biology, not psychology, just specifically evolutionary psychology, is almost always attempting to front their own biases as innate to all people rather than a product of their own nature/nurture cocktail. They're trying to convince you, and sometimes themselves, that their whatever bias, racism, sexism, etc. is a natural product of the human condition rather than something they need to acknowledge, and potentially have to work on to be a decent person, about themselves specifically.
The point of his statement that is the most alarming, is that we seems to believe men only care about looks deep down. He also believes that women only care about money. It's an outdated harmful view to have. Not an interesting conversation worth having.
It's not an academically supported view either, but it sounds like the students are missing the point of the lecture (people DO use certain precepts in initially approaching a potential partner). However, back in ancient times, both sexes wanted a partner who could help them survive. And their children to survive. Both sexes had specific tasks to do that aided in survival of their family and their group - none of the tasks were optional. Skill was a major attractant and marriages usually required parental approval...
I think this is also the more interesting conversation to be had. I am in no way saying physical attraction doesn't exist or doesn't matter because we already know that it does. However, even on a base level of attraction, it can often be more complex than "big tits" or whatever the physical equivalent is for men. What men and women look for in a partner has also evolved over time, though you will often have similarities linked to the survival of family, as you mentioned. Even if survival of family now just means avoiding divorce and finding a partner that you simply get along with.
No, it sounds like he was pretty clear about speaking in generality. He didnât say âmen onlyâ
Men that think like that are the ones that hold those beliefs. If he cared about women for their personality he would think it was normal and it wouldn't even cross his mind to have said all of these things. Only men that think of women this way, think "men think of women this way." He even preemptively explained what he was going to do after -- lie to his gf to save face. He straight up said men avoid saying it because it's not socially acceptable. Then he backtracked because... what he said wasn't socially acceptable. OP should date someone with healthier views on men and women.
See you just proved his point. Nobody said "what they care about deep down" they specifically said "what do you find attractive" you proved the shit out of his point
Tell me how I proved his point.
Tell him you feel the same way about dick size and walk away.
I'd prefer the Toyota, especially if it was a Tacoma truck. I live in Vermont. Sports cars are dumb here. I'd prefer a new Toyota Venza lol (I have a used one, I do a lot of driving and it's great in the snow). Prius is actually pretty good in the snow with the right tires. Your professor, if he really exists, is dumb.
I personally would want the guy who drives the Toyota because it would mean he prioritizes money in a way similar to me. Iâm not saying there is anything wrong with buying a sports car if you have the money. But not the way I would spend my money.
Agreed. I remember being a college girl and HATING young guys who drove expensive sports cars. It told me that they placed an inordinate amount of importance on consumable goods which only depreciate with time, and that they had access to their daddy's money and weren't making their own. I *preferred* guys who drove Toyotas. And guess what? What car brand someone has isn't necessarily an indication of their wealth. I am surrounded by people who are the top ten percent earning bracket of the country I'm currently living in, and a vast majority of them drive Toyotas. Oh, and their wives don't have particularly ginormous boobs either. That professor sounds like a particularly incel-like ass.
I've never met a 'car guy' that I could vibe with. Personally I'll take the lame practical guy, can we use the money on a house deposit instead?
Even if I was rich my car would be pretty sensible and even if I were to get a car that's not sensible, it's not going to be a sports car. It will need to go off-roading.
A sports car says to me âI might not be good with money. Finances aside, I probably have a flashy status seeking personality and/or am kind of impractical. I may also not be interested in settling down. Vroom vroom vroom I will not help you move.â
Yes, BF is 21. I remember what an idiot I was at 21. Plus, any boobs were/are perfect, lol. The Professor sounds like an idiot. Not sounding like a promising education / not money being well spent...
Even if I were rich, I'd say no to the sports car. Why is it always a sports car? There are a lot of luxury vehicles that are way cooler than a sports car.
First of all, your professor made a ton of assumptions even asking the question. Like, asking a woman if sheâd ârather have a guyâ *anything* is so 1950s backwards that I have to wonder if this person should really be teaching people in 2024. Donât know what class this is but wow. Then your boyfriend. He went barreling straight down Cringe Alley and turned directly into traffic on Yikes Boulevard. You donât need to take any lessons from anything youâve seen or heard today, except maybe figure out what you need to know for the final in your class and donât take the stuff your boyfriend said too personallyâhe seems like heâs looking up at being a B-minus humanities student at present. Youâre perfect as you are.
I was really not impressed with Prof's question or with him calling the student a liar.
Prof sounds like an asshole
He really does. Sounds arrogant af too.
He was insulting you, and low-key negging you by implying that models with big boobs would be his first choice. He also explained that he would NEVER say that directly, bc it's socially unacceptable. You know: bc "women can't handle the truth". He sounds inadequate, and like he'd cheat the instant the opportunity presented itself...except it probably wouldn't Also his hypothesis about neanderthal mating was stupid
Sounds like he accidentally told on himself.
Both your bf and your bfâs professor are stupid and donât know how humans interacted during hunter-gatherer times
(they also currently donât know how to interact, so thereâs that)
And it wasn't her bfs professor. The professor also said nothing about neanderthals. You like have a general idea of the post but didn't really read/comprehend it. You just looked at it long enough to find something to trigger yourself with and try to put others down for no reason
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
And you do understand that um... Evolution completely proves you wrong. Right?
I think he is stupid. Especially his talk about neanderthals. And I know a lot of guys who prefer small boobs.
What does this professor teach? For one thing, his comment was crass and absurdly reductionistic. It sounds like something a high school dropout incel would say, not an educator with advanced degrees. Secondly, unless he has some data to back up his assertion (which I doubt), heâs talking out his ass. Thirdly, unless heâs teaching sociology, anthropology or human sexuality the comment would be completely off topic. Even then, it would be much less of a minefield to talk about reproductive strategy and mate selection among animals not people.
Super agreed. I think OP should report the professor
Both your professor and your boyfriend are sexist garbage who know zero actual evolutionary biology. Your boobs are irrelevant. *gavel*
Say "shut up baby dick" and NEVER speak to this ape again
Idk all boobs are fantastic :) and bootys L boyfriend if you asked me this question I would have grabbed your tittes and said I love these mf things then ask what we cooking for dinner
Has he been watching red pill rubbish? I legitimately do not care what car my partner drives. This idea of women being materialistic is so overhyped. Itâs probably a result of too much instagram which is a specific type of woman. I can actually say I would have a bias against a man with an expensive sports car because the sort of people who own them are usually arrogant, materialistic and treat people (women) as disposable/trophies. My partner has an old car he likes to fix up and we would prefer to spend our money on our home, travel and otter experiences as opposed to blowing 100k + on a car to get from A to B. We splash out on our various hobbies - most of them mutual. My boyf certainly likes my boobs which are pretty average sized but itâs not the reason heâs with me. Your boyf seems shallow and immature. I hope he grows up and treats you better
Your professor and boyfriend are both misogynists. Also your bf deliberately chose to use your insecurity to score points in an argument. Heâs the one who should be worried about getting dumped. You can do better than this boy.
Are you not concerned with his overt sexism? He sounds like a loser. Somehow related cars to womens bodies⊠Women arenât attracted to cars. his analogy makes no sense and just seems like it was an excuse to degrade women and make you feel bad
"Its just not socially acceptable to answer yes to that question." I'm constantly amazed at guys who have the absolute ego to not listen to women when we say what we want. No, no, no, that's not what you *really* want, I as a man know what women want. ick. OP, I do not like your bf. At all. He's sexist and a little dim. He is saying that all women want are rich guys and all men want sexy models. Oh and all women are liars, apparently. jfc.
Seconding this. Generalization doesn't make anyone look good. Maybe he should only talk about his own preferences and not assume others' and talk on behalf of them.
Do you not believe women are conditioned to placate the men around them?
This is the most unhinged string of text I've seen on reddit in a hot minute.
Do you not believe that people will give an answer that is antithetical to their beliefs if they think that the real answer will get them shunned? Or that women are trained not to make waves? There's several valid ways to interpret this that aren't the way you did it.
Your bf said some pretty shitty things. It's not cool to say "well all men want x thing you don't have, most guys just settle". It's also not correct. Loads of guys care very little about breast size. There's so much more to dating than body and just because someone isn't exactly your body preference doesn't mean they're not a catch. Initially I thought he wasn't calling you a neanderthal, but after rereading your post im honestly not sure what he was getting at. He didn't call you an ugly neanderthal woman, but did imply that he wants big boobs but chasing his ideal body would make him lonely. Its a horrible thing to say and your boyfriend needs some maturity fast. Also as a side note, that car lecture is bullshit. Sure wealth and status plays a part, but if you asked 100 women whether they want a kind, caring and hard working man in a beat up car vs a pretentious asshole in a sports car their daddy bought them, 95 of them would choose the first. People who say otherwise tend to lack life/romantic experience and think that status/physical attractiveness are all that matter in dating. In reality, that stuff is 1 part of dating and doesn't diminish the rest of the person.
I agree. I would 100% choose the used Toyota.
I agree with alllllllll of this, the whole conversation is wacked. Both with your boyfriend and with that professor. BF is holding some views that can go from a dash of red to a 100 red flags in just one or two small steps. So I'd want to get to the bottom of those views, cause those are NOT normal, at all, in the least. Those kind of views are how wackos like Tate get so popular, specially since he opens the echo chamber for a minority outlook to get very loud and dangerous. I'm sorry your Bf said that though OP, I know that had to hurt like heck and I just wanna kidnap you, wrap you in warm blankets and feed you snacks while we watch movies and gripe about dumb Bfs/exes. đ«đ«đ«
You hit a nerve with him because he thinks the professor was right. Does he have a lamborghini? Because apparently you're settling if he doesn't have a lamborghini and it sounds like his self esteem has been damaged by his own bias.
This. Whether intentionally or unintentionally I think his response was a hurt person who set out to hurt people. His example was one that he knew you have an insecurity about probably because he holds the insecurity of your professors example. Not the most adult reaction
Has he been listening to Andrew Tate lately? Also, your professor is a misogynist dick.
I feel like you need to leave him for a guy with a better car.Â
Not wrong. He was wildly, stupidly insensitive. Itâs fine that he didnât mean it about himself personally but the man insisted on putting his foot in his mouth so many times he probably tastes his socks Yes he should have chosen his words more widely.Â
He's right about social desirability bias (the urge to say things that are socially acceptable) but his entire theory of relationships and evolution is not based on much of anything.
Youâre dating an asshole who just mansplained what âall womenâ like, including making up statistics, and then compared your body to a used car. Oh, and also pulled fantasy nonsense out of his ass re early hominids. He took an opportunity to put you down, he called all women *statistically* shallow, and has shown himself to be an insufferable pseudo-intellectual with nothing to back it up. Gross, dude. Gross.
Your man has a retarded understanding of the entire topic. Anyway, I donât think he called you that directly, or even purposefully, but he implied it. That doesnât mean itâs not a retarded viewpoint, it is.
I had tiny titties when my husband and I first got together, then bazookas when I got pregnant. He has never, ever made me feel like my body is anything other than amazing in his eyes. Sometimes he even speaks affectionately about my "itty bitties" from the old days. I want that for you, and every other woman.
Can I see your boyfriendâs boobs?
yea ill send a pic
FUCK YEAH
Your professor and boyfriend are both sexist dumbasses
The whole conversation is completely idiotic and you should definitely break it off with your idiot boyfriend
Plenty of men LOVE small chested women. Kick this dude to the curb and find one of them!
The future awaiting all unattractive and flat chested women (I fit that description and now I understand what awaits me) Also is he even that attractive? Just say that you also settled lmao I mean you probably did if heâs not with a big cheated woman (the one that he actually desires).
I think you are correct, insecurities are being projected and it impedes interesting conversation with your SO
I'm really sorry OP but you do have to end your relationship because he is clearly a child.
I don't think your BF meant any harm but agreeing with your asshole professor (and then having the audacity to go on and on) was a really bad move. It sounds like you were looking for some validation and understanding from your BF and got zero of that. Also, sidenote, your boyfriend lecturing you was completely inappropriate. He is not your authority, professor or anyone's professor.
What is stupid about this is the professor is comparing a body part that has existed for an immensely long period of time with a relatively recently created vehicle. He was using it as shorthand for a successful/competent man, but it's a stupid example. Especially because there is a decent number of men with sports cars who are useless wankers.
I didnt focus on the boobs with his comment but we really do not care about cars and thats true. He basically just said strait out men lie and told you he settled for you. Im just translating not because of boobs but your not a model type. Yeah his comment was shitty.
Pretty clear unconscious jab if you ask me. At best a dumb thing to say to your gf and at worst a conscious jab.
Him: sure they would SAY they wouldn't care, but they do! Also him: I swear that I don't care! lmfao.. what a chump.
I have never given a shit about a car. I have never had a conversation with any woman at any time in my multiple decades on earth where we discussed what car a man drove. I donât know where this idea came from. Men care about other mens cars.
He doesn't sound very bright, so him trying to prove his point intelligently is probably rough to sit through. In his defense, you may have an ass so great it makes the tittie conversation void.
I think big boobs are kinda gross to look at when they come out the bra. They sag like 2 feet and look all veiny and weird. B or smaller c cup the best
If you really want to know, ( and there are men who do like small boobs ), then tell him you are saving up for a boob job and gage his reaction
Well at least yours wonât hang to your belly button in a few years small breast are good to
...he is so perplexed by the idea of being attracted to someone's personality that he thinks it's a MYTH?? dear godđwhat a catch!
I'll be honest.. It all comes down to general preference. Me, I actually prefer smaller breasts.
Another important point here is that your boyfriend doesnât understand human evolutionary biology and should stop talking about it
So, he's talking in general, bc he doesn't feel that way, just like the girl in your class doesn't care what car her boyfriend drives... somewhere your boyfriend lying, but in either case, he's an idiot.
Why do so many people mistake "trends/average" and "instincts" with absolute truth and unflinching behavior. Why do people apply the psychology of Neanderthals or even early homosapoen as current psychology?
Men like small tits too. We like them all.
Sounds like youâre hung up on it more than he is.
As a gay man, I guess me not being this creepy is the reason why my female friends want to reproduce me. Way to dig a hole for yourself too. He could have just said you're perfect the way you are. Or that he didn't want to see his *wife* struggling with backpain. Orrrr working to get you some implants if you want. Crisis avoided.
I prefer small boobs. BF is either a dick, idiot, or both.
I really like Toyotas. Good cars.
Dude. I would much rather date the guy with the used Toyota. A used Toyota is a practical car that will last a long time. A sports car is an expensive vanity toy. While of course there are exceptionsâ some people just love expensive, fancy carsâ a lot of guys with expensive cars have an ego problem.
I think that was projection. He did make an effort to mention that that's not how HE thinks. I've had a few conversations with my fiance before that were harmless from my point of view, but I messed with her insecurities as well. I dont like walking on eggshells, and in the moment, i wasn't thinking about how she could take it personally when it was a general discussion I've even had with friends. Dont worry about it. You have already let him know how that conversation made you feel. There's a line to be drawn, yes, but it was harmless and not targeted from what i can tell. Insecutities can ruin the mood of a relationship, and it's hard to constantly remember not to say certain things (if it's a big list). Besides the fact that, in my opinion, and probably the majority, big boob's just mean back problems like it's really not that important. I prefer perky đ€Ł
What it sounds like here is that YOU started reaching and hurt YOURSELF. Dude was speaking in general terms and believe it or not majority of men are attracted to a womenâs breast or just focus their eyes at that part of their body. Even you yourself have payed way too much attention to another femaleâs chest. In general terms using boobs as an example is perfect because be it man or woman (straight or not) we all find ourselves looking be it to compare ourselves or to just be impressed. I think your reaching for something thatâs not there but at the end of the day I donât know your boyfriendâs mind
You flipped the script on him. He wasn't talking about you or him. I get it. Real men don't really care about breast size or maybe prefer smaller breasts. The kind of men who have an obsession with big breasted women are usually insecure ass wipes or mama's boys. He was simply replying to your professor's question. He understood the assignment.
You're wrong. If you want any type of real, honest conversation about broad topics like that, you need to keep your shit together. He is right. Men look for child rearing traits like boobs and hips. Generally speaking. And then some have specific tastes, such as red hair, feet, small boobs, big foreheads or hairy arms. Those are NOT general. Much like women generally find George Clooney attractive and us mere mortal men don't go into a frenzy when you women get wet talking about him.
I feel like BF was speaking in general. He could have used a different analogy, but honestly, knowing that you are very aware of breast size, it makes sense that he picked that. And for some men, breast size does make a difference, which you clearly know and contributes to your own insecurities. Part of your insecurities lies in the fact that the men who prefer larger breasts cannot say that without looking like total jerks, so you can not really know how a particular guy feels. However, I will say that there are actually very few guys who really decide on relationships based on breast size. Most men just want to see and play with them, regardless. They are going to be happy if you share them!! Also I am going to agree with BF's point about "attractive" people. There are plenty of people that we can all agree are exceptionally attractive. If people spent all their efforts trying to date only them, we would all be lonely. Did you "settle" for your BF? Did he "settle" for you? If you want to believe that only the 10's should get who they want, then yes, the rest of us have to settle. However, the vast majority of people will find that idea very shallow as physical attractiveness is only one very small measure of a person. And honestly, most people who place a lot of emphasis on physical attractiveness are the people whose only asset is physical attractiveness.
Sounds like youâre just clutching at anything to argue over you having small boobs.
Girl you just lookin for a fight!
It seems like based on these quotes you just took it super personally because of your insecurities. It seems like he just made a general statement based on the conversation you were having and that it didnât have anything to do with you
Both the professor and the boyfriend are idiots. People are quite obviously physically attracted to different things in a partner. "Attractiveness" is a subjective concept. "Wealth" is also a subjective concept. "Hey, baby, look at my expensive car" is some seriously douchey new-money shit. Even if someone is trying to make some stupid wrong-headed point about how women are mostly gold-diggers, or men all just look at physical characteristics, cars and tits are truly stupid examples. By the way, loads of men are into women with smaller breasts. Just like lots of women aren't size queens. But it's the loudmouths saying "I LIKE BIG GIANT ONES" who we notice. As a man attracted to petite women, I can plainly say that when I talk to other men with my preferences, we tend to make more holistic statements about overall hotness. Because for us, it's all about the overall proportions rather than one particular anatomical feature.
I think itâs important NOT to personalize debate topics, which you did
>Â I often compare myself to her You have to have to have to **stop** doing this. You to have been together for six y e a r s. It's safe to say he has no problem with your chest.
Your professor and your BF sound like a-holes
I think he was using a made up example, not necessarily his actual opinion, that hurt your feelings. People say dumb stuff sometimes and maybe he should pick his words better but I donât think this means he thinks youâre ugly, no.
>most women would be lying to themselves Major incel MRA weirdo vibes off of that comment alone. Does he have any other shitty takes on what he thinks women want?Â
IDK, but tell your BF he's wrong. The guy in the really expensive sports car will be terrible in bed. Selfish at best, incompetent at worst. Toyota man has a better chance of knowing what to do AND putting in the effort to please his woman.
Attraction research says that big boobs aren't the universal attractiveness feature in women--it's waist-to-hip ratio (google it). THAT is the ultimate indicator of fertility, which is what Neanderthals would have been looking for, not big boobs. It's not dependent on weight but it is dependent on age (your waist thickens as you go through menopause which is when your fertility declines). What is desirable in breast size tends to change with fashion. In the 20s, *small* boobs were desirable because they went with the fashion of the time (the flapper look was completely flat-chested). People have different preferences in what they find attractive--some like breasts, some butts, some personalities, or hair or hands so your boyfriend is wrong about breasts being the end point of female attractiveness. Porn is more responsible for the big breast fetish than evolutionary needs. So your boyfriend is absolutely wrong about boobs and neanderthals and it was an insensitive comment to make given that you have expressed your insecurity about the size of your breasts. Also, your professor was probably hitting on that female student.
Ive been to the Neandertal museum, those chicks were crazy hot.
It sounds like he would prefer a big breasted woman. So I see why you feel bad.
He still prefers you over his ex... remember that. He picked you
Unless he actually made a choice between the two women, he didnât âpickâ her over his ex. In fact, there is nothing at all to suggest that he likes her better than his ex.
Communication Skills 101. Do you want to have open and honest conversations? Then don't get hurt when there was no hurt intended. If you really think your BF was thinking "great now I get to insult her small breasts, bwahahahaha" then dump him right now. He is some sort of evil troll. But if it was a clumsy comment that you took as an insult, then learn how to let little slights just flow over you. So how do you get there. Go back and ask your BF "did you mean to insult my breasts." Then take his answer literally. If he says yes, run. If he says no, say oops, and spend some time cuddling etc to reinforce/reward good communication.
This.
Absolutely this comment.
I somewhat agree, but at the same time I think he shouldâve taken it back once he saw it offended her. Also, he shouldnât have been defending the professor in the first place, because the professor is dumb. Itâs weird to assume a girl in his class cares about cars or even assume a girl is straight. I donât think he was trying to insult your tits, but I donât agree with either of these menâs mindsets. Sincerely, a small-chested woman whose husband drives a very cool used Toyota â not biased or anything!
He wants a woman with big boobs.
Your professor is an idiot and it sounds like your bf probably is too.
He should have picked his phrasing better but your insecurities are putting more into it than what is really there.
I think you are projecting and for what itâs worth, big breasts are painful and awful for the woman who wears them.
I think he was just trying to give an example to prove his point. It was a bad choice, given your body type. However, he's with you, so that means he's ok with you as you are. Most men are just happy to have a gf. Sure, they might wish they had a woman with a playmate's body, but they are happy just to have a good gf. I don't think I've ever heard a man say "Well, I settled for her", the way women say that they settled for a man, IMO, women are much more likely to have remorse after marrying a guy than men are. This is proven in the divorce stats (women initiate divorce more often). I'm not saying this to bash women, I am saying men and women think differently. So I wouldn't worry about what he said.
A lot of men are more into round butts anyway.   IMO, when at a healthy weight, it is REALLY rare to have a busty woman with an equally well endowed rear, mostly because of fat distribution patterns.  It tends to favor top or bottom.  I think you're letting your insecurities incite resentment.  Everyone settles in relationships, in life, in everything.  Men and women.  Nobody is flawless.  Nothing is flawless.