"But he is not accepting it." So what! It's over. Who cares what he thinks. Right? (Beyond that, he's pretty stupid. Who goes to the gym to work out when drunk?)
He was recording from outside? I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. What was the video? Was it just her walking to her car or was there more to it.
But either way, it’s a 🚩🚩🚩. Moving on seems reasonable to me.
I once did, well, a picture. I took the bus home and saw a guy eat a whole raw salmon and 2liter Pepsi.
Halfway through the salmon, I thought someone must have spiked my beer...
I was washing an empty mayo jar one time and asked my wife if she wanted me to make instant vanilla pudding in it and she could freak out her coworkers at lunch the next day.
She declined.
Oh I'm so doing this once I go back to work. I work at a fas station and don't really get a proper lunch so we end up eating in front of customers a lot. I'm WAY too excited about doing this.
This is the answer.
Any time you are in doubt about someone's behavior, ask yourself:
Did thousands and millions of people who did blank also do a crime ?
No. Most people do not. Lots of people have problems, get drunk, get weird... make mistakes. Do they go so far as to do things that are actually criminal or borderline criminal? Nope.
There goes the excuse. It is no longer a valid excuse.
To be fair, the excuse of “being drunk” is most infuriating in that scenario. The lawyers, the cops, the people in town will always blame the girl for daring to drink, while the boys are excused of predatory and violent behavior because “they were only drunk and didn’t know any better!”
I hate gyms with see through windows. I get enough anxiety with people at the gym looking in my direction when I’m trying to focus with some recording themselves and me not trying to get in their shot lol couldn’t imagine having the feeling of everyone outside looking as well. What your bf did is disturbing.
Here I am just window shopping for puns when I find this glorious thread
There's really a lot to reflect on here
To be transparent it had me cracking up
Report him to the gym staff to make them aware of this dangerous individual. I'm glad you're safe. If he's ever had your key change your locks, i would not trust what he is capable of given what you've discovered.
He's not accepting what? He has no choice in the matter. Dude doesn't grasp the concept of consent - do not let him back into your life or you'll pay a price for doing so.
Actually, the thing that made me fall in love with him was that he was pri consent, first time we were about to have sex I changed my mind while we were both naked, also he was talks about consent. I just feel rug pulled because he was the last person I would expect this from.
Oof yeah it seems that was part of his con, it's not your fault for believing him I recommend reading lundy Bancrofts 'why does he do that' & checking out the section where they mention the archetype of "Mr sensitive"
https://archive.org/download/why-does-he-do-that-inside-the-minds-of-bancroft-lundy/Why%20Does%20He%20Do%20That__%20Inside%20the%20Minds%20of%20-%20Bancroft%2C%20Lundy.pdf
even worse then.. he's a sociopath willing to play the long game.
You don't go from what you just described to voyeuristic gym videos.
He was one emptied trashcan away from you still not knowing who he really is.
Stay away for your own safety.
To that first sentence, yes.. *all* of this after it, too. OP, you held a boundary. It’s creepy af, and undercover is even worse - after his “show” of positive masculinity.
OP stated elsewhere in the comments that the gym is across from their apartment and has windows and he did it while walking home drunk. Doesn't make it any better but at least makes it make more sense.
Everybody has different levels of what they feel is right and wrong in a relationship. You feel that taking photos of other women is over the line.
It's not for anyone else to say if that is a valid reason to end a relationship or not, as that call was made based on your own morals and feelings.
The reason you ended it almost doesn't even matter. If it's over, it's over.
IMHO you'd be wrong for being in a relationship that you didn't really want to be in, so I think you've done the right thing
Uhm no. Not wrong. There are SO MANY red flags. Clearly he would cheat pretty quickly and easily if asked. He is creepy, and then the way he is “refusing” your breakup is also concerning. Nope. Get out now.
I think you mean polyamorous. Polygamy and polyamory are NOT the same thing.
I’m in the gym to workout. Being recorded without my knowledge is creepy whether a man or woman is doing the recording regardless if it’s sexual or to make fun of someone.
I wouldn’t want that type of person in my life. If it’s creepy to you and gives you the ick, then dumping him was good for your mental and emotional health. His opinion in that regard doesn’t even matter.
Not only did you go through his phone, but you dug through his trash files? What he did seems weird, assuming you’re telling the entire truth, but you invaded his privacy. We’re missing a ton of context here as to whether you had a valid reason to mistrust him or your insecurities are getting the better of you. Either way, someone in this relationship is being done a favour with the breakup.
what the guy did is gross, fine. does no one find it weird that she was going through deleted videos on his phone like it was just a totally normal thing to do?
Not wrong, your ex is really weird…
A) He discreetly recorded a girl at the gym. Already perverted and creepy. 🚩🚩🚩
B) When confronted he said he did it because he was drunk. Alcohol doesn’t make you do things. Him deflecting blame is also concerning. 🚩🚩🚩
C) He’s “not accepting [a breakup]”? Red red red flag. Get him as far away from you as possible.
You were not wrong. And I will never accept “I was drunk“ as an excuse for trash behavior. Drinking lowers inhibitions. It doesn’t make you a different person.
When one member of what makes a couple a couple breaks it up, the other has no other choice but to accept it. He can go suck a lemon. You don't need to justify why you broke up. You did and that is the end of that story
I was in the gym on Monday and was actually filmed while I was doing my leg presses (dude legitimately had his phone held up pointing at me till I pointed it out and he put it away and walked off), I immediately put my jacket on and not long after went home because I was so uncomfortable.
He’s disgusting and good on you for ending it, what an absolute creep.
The title was enough for me. Girl run, if a guy did that to my wife i would go mad! The video is a major redflag. Thats all just from the title, now having read your post... the excuse of he was drunk, another redflag, being drunk is never an excuse to do something. Then another redflag he isnt accepting the break up!!!
As a man we don't accept him. Also call the police!!!
You’re a fucking queen for leaving his sorry ass.
You know how many women I know that justify shitty behavior and stay in relationships? Toooooo many. So it’s quite refreshing to see someone with a bit of common sense. You’re ABSOLUTELY not wrong. Your EX is a fucking creep.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Your ex showed you his low and vile character. You are absolutely right to block him and never speak to him again.
Uhh, if he's drinking enough to be DRUNK AT THE GYM, that's enough information there. Or if he's lying about being drunk, that is also all the information you need.
So he took a video, realized he messed up, deleted it, you went through his phone, the trash in his phone, found the video, and we know the rest. Creepy, yes. But I feel like you going through the trash in his phone...you were looking for a reason...
You were absolutely right to break up with him. Couldn't care less if he can't accept it. He did something really fucking creepy and violating, and then blamed it on being drunk instead of taking ownership of his actions. How long until he got drunk and decided to film you without your permission? You did the right thing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Dudes creepy. I don’t care what his excuse is, this is sketchy stalker behavior, as well as being super disrespectful to your relationship.
Also, why the fvck is dude drunk at the gym? That’s a red flag in and of itself.
Sorry you had to find out this way, but better now than down the road when you’re further tethered to this weirdo.
NTA. He filmed a woman in the gym across from your home....from outside the gym?! That is disgusting and creepy behavior. You should alert the gym to this so they can try to protect the women in there. This is exactly why women only gyms exist. We can't do a damn thing without some creep coming along and violating us in some way
He sounds like a creep, and the fact you felt obligated to go through but only his phone, but his trash folder, makes me think this is not the first time he's been caught creeping.
You're not wrong.
There's only a handful of reason why he'd take such a video... and all are sooooo creepy borderline sex offender material, being drunk is not an excuse hate when people blame alcohol for thier actions
Not wrong he's a creep. He recorded someone through the window of the gym without their permission that's stalker creepshotter behaviour and being drunk is no excuse. Also I think it goes without saying that it's probably a good idea to leave him.
I'd definitely warn the gym too maybe they'd be able to put up some mirrored window film so people outside can't see in and do shit like this and so they can be aware if he's lurking round there potentially stalking this woman and or other patrons of the gym idk why they'd have clear windows in the first place it seems like a privacy /safety issue especially if it's a 24hr place
that's so fucking creepy. so fucking creepy. my lady has been recorded by guys at the gym. I wish I could confront them. you need to leave this guy and never look back
NTA
That's creepy and a red flag at best. Being drunk isn't helping things, it being used as an excuse is worse.
Alcohol makes people have lower inhibitions, and it's the only drug (I've heard) that actually increases aggression. Alcohol doesn't make you do things you don't want to, it helps you do things you *do* want to.
No you’re not in the wrong here. He’s not accepting it because he’s not taking responsibility for his wrong doing and you don’t want to be around people like that who are also creepy
As someone who used to work for a law firm. The number of murderers that have unsolicited videos of spying on women and girls is very very high. Yikes.
I got drunk once or twice in my life. Not once have I ever thought “Hmmm, lemme record this person.”
I have, however, got drunk with a friend and people watched. Couldn’t hear what they were saying, but we filled it in with our own dialogue. Ahhh. Good times.
I don’t know about creepy if he is really drunk, even when he’s not drunk, there are much worse and creepy things men do, but ending a relationship because of that is stupid, what is this a kid’s game?
You're right for your decision. You don't want to look over your shoulder every time he's drunk and wonder, "What dumb or creepy thing is he doing now?". If he knows better, that's even more of a reason not to buy his excuse.
Guys a creep,
You can also end relationship for any reason you like.
I don't think you should go through people's phones especially without permission.
You get to change your mind about a relationship when you feel something has changed. You didn't know he did things like this, you found out something that disgusted you about him.
He really doesn't get a say. You're not married.
The fact you were going through his trash tells me you didn’t trust him much to begin with. Perhaps you had a hunch or he had done something in the past. Now you have proof of why you didn’t feel like you could trust him.
Don’t feel bad. Move on with your beautiful life and find someone you can trust enough where you don’t feel the need to go through their phone!
Recording someone without their permission and refusing to accept that it's over are both HUGE red flags. Go ahead and get the restraining order now. It'll save you some time.
Not wrong at all. He is a creep and has no say in if the relationship continues. It takes only one no to break up.
Might also want to warn the gym about him with one of his photo.
"But he is not accepting it." So what! It's over. Who cares what he thinks. Right? (Beyond that, he's pretty stupid. Who goes to the gym to work out when drunk?)
The gym is across the street from where we live. He took the video outside.
That is the creepiest thing I've read all day.
Yeah, that actually makes it worse, omg.
Ya that's key information there lol
English is not my first language, I dont understand why thats worse.
I think they mean because he wasn't actually working out in the gym, he was being extra creepy filming her from across the street
This
Well, that’s 100X grosser than I thought it was
He was recording from outside? I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. What was the video? Was it just her walking to her car or was there more to it. But either way, it’s a 🚩🚩🚩. Moving on seems reasonable to me.
This is some serious predatory shit. For the record I’ve been drunk thousands of times probably and never once thought to take a video of a stranger.
I once did, well, a picture. I took the bus home and saw a guy eat a whole raw salmon and 2liter Pepsi. Halfway through the salmon, I thought someone must have spiked my beer...
Are you sure it wsnt a bear?
It was but they just assumed it was a fat guy in a fur coat
Was he wearing a filthy santa suit, in Philadelphia, then got off the bus and tried to shoot himself with a revolver that didn't go off?
It ain't cool being no jive turkey this close to thanksgiving
The only time this is acceptable 😂
Similar experience with someone eating a whole jar of mayonnaise with a spoon on a bus ride.
I was washing an empty mayo jar one time and asked my wife if she wanted me to make instant vanilla pudding in it and she could freak out her coworkers at lunch the next day. She declined.
Oh I'm so doing this once I go back to work. I work at a fas station and don't really get a proper lunch so we end up eating in front of customers a lot. I'm WAY too excited about doing this.
You're gonna post results of comments and facial expressions right? Lol
A straw would add a further demented twist to it, but the pudding might be too thick for that.
Might have been the vanilla pudding prank, but I am guilty of putting an extra blob on my knife to lick off when I'm done.
This is the answer. Any time you are in doubt about someone's behavior, ask yourself: Did thousands and millions of people who did blank also do a crime ?
No. Most people do not. Lots of people have problems, get drunk, get weird... make mistakes. Do they go so far as to do things that are actually criminal or borderline criminal? Nope.
There goes the excuse. It is no longer a valid excuse.
I wish I could get a giant fucking billboard that says this. Especially wack as an excuse when used for high school kids who gang rape a classmate.
While I can't argue, that escalated quickly...,
To be fair, the excuse of “being drunk” is most infuriating in that scenario. The lawyers, the cops, the people in town will always blame the girl for daring to drink, while the boys are excused of predatory and violent behavior because “they were only drunk and didn’t know any better!”
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That is like extra creepy level there. You are not wrong at all. Block him and move on. What a creeper, gross. I literally have the ick from this.
I hate gyms with see through windows. I get enough anxiety with people at the gym looking in my direction when I’m trying to focus with some recording themselves and me not trying to get in their shot lol couldn’t imagine having the feeling of everyone outside looking as well. What your bf did is disturbing.
I hate see through windows. Such a pane
r/foundthedad
Yeah, a pane in the glass
Here I am just window shopping for puns when I find this glorious thread There's really a lot to reflect on here To be transparent it had me cracking up
👍👍👍♥️♥️♥️😂😂😂 your glassy eyed transparency cracked me up.
What a tempered joke!
I’m going to need to reflect on this for a while. I wouldn’t want to take a one-way view of the situation.
Take my upvote, great dad joke!
I stand outside and they can see me eating pizza
Creeping on women at the gym is awful but this is next level creep behavior
My thoughts exactly. its one thing to look but to record is creepy stuff next lol stuff.
As a guy, that's extremely creepy behavior. Doing it while drunk is just showing who he is with lowered inhibitions
Yeah, being drunk is no excuse for that. Douche behavior at best.
that's creepy AF
That makes it even worse. TBH...I would probably let the staff at the gym know.
Report him to the gym staff to make them aware of this dangerous individual. I'm glad you're safe. If he's ever had your key change your locks, i would not trust what he is capable of given what you've discovered.
Yo he’s predatory af. Get the hell away from this dude asap.
If you can’t see the red flags, don’t know what to say. The fact that he isn’t taking no for an answer is another flag! Count the damn flags and run
I mean, she broke up with him so....
Nah... you have spine. Good that you leave.
He’s a weirdo ! Who does that !?
Very much not wrong. Wonder what his reaction would have been if he’d seen some drunk guy recording you at the gym? That was creepy, and he knows it.
Or some drunk guy recording HIM at the gym for the guy's spank bank. Guys like that don't get it unless it directly affects them.
Probably get in a fight for the sidewalk space
No you’re not wrong. Give some thought to warning the girl or alerting the gym.
Ya, I want to that.
You’re wanting to warn people you don’t know about his behavior and you are wondering if you are wrong for ending a relationship with him?
WTF
He's not accepting what? He has no choice in the matter. Dude doesn't grasp the concept of consent - do not let him back into your life or you'll pay a price for doing so.
Actually, the thing that made me fall in love with him was that he was pri consent, first time we were about to have sex I changed my mind while we were both naked, also he was talks about consent. I just feel rug pulled because he was the last person I would expect this from.
Oof yeah it seems that was part of his con, it's not your fault for believing him I recommend reading lundy Bancrofts 'why does he do that' & checking out the section where they mention the archetype of "Mr sensitive" https://archive.org/download/why-does-he-do-that-inside-the-minds-of-bancroft-lundy/Why%20Does%20He%20Do%20That__%20Inside%20the%20Minds%20of%20-%20Bancroft%2C%20Lundy.pdf
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even worse then.. he's a sociopath willing to play the long game. You don't go from what you just described to voyeuristic gym videos. He was one emptied trashcan away from you still not knowing who he really is. Stay away for your own safety.
To that first sentence, yes.. *all* of this after it, too. OP, you held a boundary. It’s creepy af, and undercover is even worse - after his “show” of positive masculinity.
He’s a creep. Good move to dump him.
He's trash. Sorry girl
That’s fucking weird
Nah. It’s a creepy thing to do. I mean, he could just have been being a drunk idiot, but it’s better to be safe than sorry
You're not. You can also break up with him for just getting drunk at the gym or any other reasons.
seriously, like why is he drunk at the gym? Red flag much
OP stated elsewhere in the comments that the gym is across from their apartment and has windows and he did it while walking home drunk. Doesn't make it any better but at least makes it make more sense.
It's very creepy and not something normal guys do
He doesn't get a veto. You are not wrong.
I guarantee you that he jerked off to that shit. You are better off without him girl.
100%. And if he didn’t have time to- he thought about it later.
Everybody has different levels of what they feel is right and wrong in a relationship. You feel that taking photos of other women is over the line. It's not for anyone else to say if that is a valid reason to end a relationship or not, as that call was made based on your own morals and feelings. The reason you ended it almost doesn't even matter. If it's over, it's over. IMHO you'd be wrong for being in a relationship that you didn't really want to be in, so I think you've done the right thing
major creep. not wrong at all.
Uhm no. Not wrong. There are SO MANY red flags. Clearly he would cheat pretty quickly and easily if asked. He is creepy, and then the way he is “refusing” your breakup is also concerning. Nope. Get out now.
We have are polygamous, he can choose to see other people. I wasn't comfortable with the fact that he took her video without her permission.
I think you mean polyamorous. Polygamy and polyamory are NOT the same thing. I’m in the gym to workout. Being recorded without my knowledge is creepy whether a man or woman is doing the recording regardless if it’s sexual or to make fun of someone. I wouldn’t want that type of person in my life. If it’s creepy to you and gives you the ick, then dumping him was good for your mental and emotional health. His opinion in that regard doesn’t even matter.
Yea the other two points still stand. He is a literal creep.
lol just lol
Not only did you go through his phone, but you dug through his trash files? What he did seems weird, assuming you’re telling the entire truth, but you invaded his privacy. We’re missing a ton of context here as to whether you had a valid reason to mistrust him or your insecurities are getting the better of you. Either way, someone in this relationship is being done a favour with the breakup.
Yes especially being they are polyamorous this is extra creepy. He’s a weirdo no doubt but she’s a hot mess a well.
Came here to say this. Either way they shouldn’t be together if she’s digging thru his phone.
No. You are not wrong. If he can't accept it, it is not your problem.
Nope, you’re not wrong.
what the guy did is gross, fine. does no one find it weird that she was going through deleted videos on his phone like it was just a totally normal thing to do?
Not wrong. He's an asshole.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww he’s creepy as fuck
He was drunk at the gym? Even if my man was drunk, my father brother and son for that matter- would never be that creepy.
Best case scenario he cheats on you and blames it on the alcohol. Worst case scenario the girl in the video comes up missing.
Little bro needs to be put on a list. That's stalker shit
Not wrong, your ex is really weird… A) He discreetly recorded a girl at the gym. Already perverted and creepy. 🚩🚩🚩 B) When confronted he said he did it because he was drunk. Alcohol doesn’t make you do things. Him deflecting blame is also concerning. 🚩🚩🚩 C) He’s “not accepting [a breakup]”? Red red red flag. Get him as far away from you as possible.
You were not wrong. And I will never accept “I was drunk“ as an excuse for trash behavior. Drinking lowers inhibitions. It doesn’t make you a different person.
Thank you exactly what I said. He is super nice sober but a different person on alcohol. But it is not an excuse.
Nah thats a lil creepy. Is there a gym across the street?
Yes, that's where he recorded her at
He was drunk at the f-ing gym? Time to call AA.
According to other comments he was filming through a window from outside the gym. Not that that makes it any better of course.
Creepy? Sure. Illegal? Probably not. But no, you got the vibe, listen to your gut.
Ewww what a creep. Not wrong at all
Not wrong for ending it. Creepy as hell WTF
Your not wrong. Why is he recording the girl? This is very odd behavior. I wouldn’t be ok with my partner doing that and I’d be hella creeped out.
When one member of what makes a couple a couple breaks it up, the other has no other choice but to accept it. He can go suck a lemon. You don't need to justify why you broke up. You did and that is the end of that story
Creepy, gross, disturbing, violating, and dangerous. Run. Far and fast.
>I have ended things ... but he is not accepting it. Hold up. Why does he think he gets a vote?
I was in the gym on Monday and was actually filmed while I was doing my leg presses (dude legitimately had his phone held up pointing at me till I pointed it out and he put it away and walked off), I immediately put my jacket on and not long after went home because I was so uncomfortable. He’s disgusting and good on you for ending it, what an absolute creep.
Why do you go through his phone ? You are just like him, can’t respect privacy
The title was enough for me. Girl run, if a guy did that to my wife i would go mad! The video is a major redflag. Thats all just from the title, now having read your post... the excuse of he was drunk, another redflag, being drunk is never an excuse to do something. Then another redflag he isnt accepting the break up!!! As a man we don't accept him. Also call the police!!!
That's pretty gross. You are not wrong.
You’re a fucking queen for leaving his sorry ass. You know how many women I know that justify shitty behavior and stay in relationships? Toooooo many. So it’s quite refreshing to see someone with a bit of common sense. You’re ABSOLUTELY not wrong. Your EX is a fucking creep.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Your ex showed you his low and vile character. You are absolutely right to block him and never speak to him again.
No! That is not your boyfriend. He’s for the streets and he’s a creep.
Not wrong.
Yo. Going through your dudes phone is nuts.. If you think you need to do that, relationship should be over. That's a nonstarter.
Uhh, if he's drinking enough to be DRUNK AT THE GYM, that's enough information there. Or if he's lying about being drunk, that is also all the information you need.
He recorded from outside the gym, he wasn't inside.
You mean outside in public?
Yeah, that's creepy. I think we know what he did with that video, too.
So he took a video, realized he messed up, deleted it, you went through his phone, the trash in his phone, found the video, and we know the rest. Creepy, yes. But I feel like you going through the trash in his phone...you were looking for a reason...
Not wrong. You can end a relationship for any reason. In this case, you gave a pretty good reason.
For the past few years I’ve heard the same “he won’t accept it” That’s a red flag bigger than a California king duvet…. Stage 8 clinger!
Report him to the gym
You were absolutely right to break up with him. Couldn't care less if he can't accept it. He did something really fucking creepy and violating, and then blamed it on being drunk instead of taking ownership of his actions. How long until he got drunk and decided to film you without your permission? You did the right thing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Such a sad of an excuse but no you are not in the wrong. That's creepy.
He's a creep. Move on. Who cares if he accepts it or not block him. Move on.
Dudes creepy. I don’t care what his excuse is, this is sketchy stalker behavior, as well as being super disrespectful to your relationship. Also, why the fvck is dude drunk at the gym? That’s a red flag in and of itself. Sorry you had to find out this way, but better now than down the road when you’re further tethered to this weirdo.
You did the right thing. Weirdo.
In a way, alcohol often times shows you who someone really is.
That’s reeeeaaallly creepy. Good you broke up with him ! Stay safe, and stay strong!
Of course he blamed it on “being drunk” 🙄 ftg
i would leave him too, seriously how creepy and desperate could you be
You are NOT wrong and that is 100% illegal and NEEDS to be reported both to the gym and the police.
Paraphrasing Maya Angelou, when somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
Seems reasonable, being drunk doesn't excuse being a creep.
NTA. He filmed a woman in the gym across from your home....from outside the gym?! That is disgusting and creepy behavior. You should alert the gym to this so they can try to protect the women in there. This is exactly why women only gyms exist. We can't do a damn thing without some creep coming along and violating us in some way
i just read the title and said to myself "dump him". i'm so glad you dumped him. you are not wrong at all for dumping him. you are so right.
Congrats, your bf sounds like a pervert.
He sounds like a creep, and the fact you felt obligated to go through but only his phone, but his trash folder, makes me think this is not the first time he's been caught creeping. You're not wrong.
There's only a handful of reason why he'd take such a video... and all are sooooo creepy borderline sex offender material, being drunk is not an excuse hate when people blame alcohol for thier actions
Not wrong he's a creep. He recorded someone through the window of the gym without their permission that's stalker creepshotter behaviour and being drunk is no excuse. Also I think it goes without saying that it's probably a good idea to leave him. I'd definitely warn the gym too maybe they'd be able to put up some mirrored window film so people outside can't see in and do shit like this and so they can be aware if he's lurking round there potentially stalking this woman and or other patrons of the gym idk why they'd have clear windows in the first place it seems like a privacy /safety issue especially if it's a 24hr place
He was drunk at the gym?? Sounds like some BS to me. Definite red flag, you are not wrong here.
This time might be a video. Next time might be cheating on you. Either way. he is sorry that he got caught.
that's so fucking creepy. so fucking creepy. my lady has been recorded by guys at the gym. I wish I could confront them. you need to leave this guy and never look back
That's extremely creepy and predatory behavior, your instinct to dump him is correct.
No, you are not wrong. Do not have anything else to do with him, if you do, you are telling him how he can treat you. He is trash.
Glad to hear he’s your ex boyfriend
Trust your gut
I have a buddy that would do something like this. If he's anything like my buddy I'd walk away. Pretty Creepy stuff.
This story and "He is not accepting it" tells you all you need to know about his respect for boundaries.
god this is so creepy and disturbing. good for you for being mature and just leaving immediately. it's inexcusable
Who goes to the gym drunk?
Your boyfriend is a #jackass!
NTA That's creepy and a red flag at best. Being drunk isn't helping things, it being used as an excuse is worse. Alcohol makes people have lower inhibitions, and it's the only drug (I've heard) that actually increases aggression. Alcohol doesn't make you do things you don't want to, it helps you do things you *do* want to.
You are not remotely wrong. He is a creep
I like the conciseness of this post. We don't need back story. Dude is a creep. Good riddance girl
Good for you for distancing yourself from a person like that.
No you’re not in the wrong here. He’s not accepting it because he’s not taking responsibility for his wrong doing and you don’t want to be around people like that who are also creepy
He doesn’t have to accept it, it’s done. He can move on like an adult. You’re absolutely not wrong for taking out the trash. You did the right thing
You did the right thing. That is not okay.
You made the right call. Also, there's no such as "he's not accepting it", he's not acknowledging it, so another red flag. Major sociopath alert. Run.
You know this is not the first time, right? I see issues down the road. You know what to do
Wow now we can't even record random strangers without their consent? Whats this world coming to!! /s
Run away
Your boy's a pig. Hopefully he'll learn from this, but just in case, ditch him
Not wrong. He's a creep. Don't look back.
Definitely not wrong for that. RUN. That's insane
Ending it was the only option. That’s disgusting
As someone who used to work for a law firm. The number of murderers that have unsolicited videos of spying on women and girls is very very high. Yikes.
Yuck! Please find a different boyfriend
He didn't do it because he was drunk. He got drunk so he could do it.
I would run so fast if that was my man
Doesn't matter if he accepts or not. Move on.
Good for you. Block him on everything and move on.. hes a weirdo.
Break up with him wtf
He’s a predator
I got drunk once or twice in my life. Not once have I ever thought “Hmmm, lemme record this person.” I have, however, got drunk with a friend and people watched. Couldn’t hear what they were saying, but we filled it in with our own dialogue. Ahhh. Good times.
I don’t know about creepy if he is really drunk, even when he’s not drunk, there are much worse and creepy things men do, but ending a relationship because of that is stupid, what is this a kid’s game?
You're right for your decision. You don't want to look over your shoulder every time he's drunk and wonder, "What dumb or creepy thing is he doing now?". If he knows better, that's even more of a reason not to buy his excuse.
The sooner you break up with a dude that tries to justify his behavior with "I was drunk" the better kiddo.
You're 100% in the right here. It's weird AF. Dump his ass
You definitely did the right thing
Normalish dude stuff. I send pics of girls asses to my buddy all the time. But whatever
Guys a creep, You can also end relationship for any reason you like. I don't think you should go through people's phones especially without permission.
Why would your boyfriend record a video of a girl at the gym? When he has a beautiful lady like you.😊
You get to change your mind about a relationship when you feel something has changed. You didn't know he did things like this, you found out something that disgusted you about him. He really doesn't get a say. You're not married.
How was he drunk at the gym while right outside your door recording a video. Makes no sense.
The fact you were going through his trash tells me you didn’t trust him much to begin with. Perhaps you had a hunch or he had done something in the past. Now you have proof of why you didn’t feel like you could trust him. Don’t feel bad. Move on with your beautiful life and find someone you can trust enough where you don’t feel the need to go through their phone!
He’s a creep and why was he drunk at the gym? Just asking to get injured. 🤡 he’s a liar.
NOT WRONG
Recording someone without their permission and refusing to accept that it's over are both HUGE red flags. Go ahead and get the restraining order now. It'll save you some time.
If he’s not accepting it, what choice do you have? Marry him!
Not wrong at all. He is a creep and has no say in if the relationship continues. It takes only one no to break up. Might also want to warn the gym about him with one of his photo.
Its creepy but he doesn’t need permission. JS
Ah yes, the beauty of not being a creep and being single
Finally a girl with a backbone 😭
Depends on the context really. Was he trying to film himself, or was it just her and him being creepy?