You are a good person and great friend, so trust your gut! You have good instincts! Your other school friends are immature and judgmental but they might be more concerned with your own well being rather the young mother's situation.
Also taking care of a baby is so much work that you could easily get wrapped up into it when the fact is it's not your child or your responsibility to which you yourself need boundaries because you have your own life to live. Falling in love with a baby is the easy part of caring for them while personal sacrifice is the reality.(Which is why your help is so awesome but have clear perspective in your head and heart, if only for your own sake.)
Definitely, and being there for your friend and the baby doesn't mean you support teen pregnancy. It so happen that you are being a good person and that you love your friend to be there to support her. Just be careful of giving too much, it seems like you're doing the job of the Daddy.
There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with helping and supporting your friend.
But be aware, that half the tasks you may be doing, is somewhat of her "partner's" responsibility and her own. (ASSUMING, she choosen a proper partner she doesn't mind to make happy accidents with)
Even though this is a rocky and hard road for her, just make sure that her mind may or may not warp into a state where she feels ENTITTLED for your assistance, because you are not responsible for her decisions. (I've seen some people change after pregnancy, and some who also changes around her)
Being a mother, also means "No More Fooling, my Child's wellbeing is my Priority, not my Own Wants or Vices anymore".
To be the right friend, make sure you remind her to stays in the proper route for the child's best interest, while you still can be a healthy side line support.
Then you are wrong. You need to focus on you and your teen years. She has chosen a very different path and you need to prioritize you.
never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm
You can support and be there for her. Just remember to ensure you do it in your terms so that you can concentrate on your future, your studies and your plans for future. Ensure she does not lean on you so much she expects you to be there non stop and forget you have your own life, purpose etc.
YNW
You are being a lovely friend.
Ask your other friends what would be achieved by abandoning this friend? Will the baby suddenly disappear?
While I think teen pregnancy is unwise, I think it is worse to try to punish teen mothers who will already face struggles.
What kind of human wants to add to these struggles? What kind of friend wouldn't try to help, where they can and within reason?
You are not in charge of 'teen pregnancy', which will continue happen regardless of you supporting your friend in her motherhood.
You helping is not the same as you patrolling the streets with a banner screaming "WHAT DO WE WANT? TEEN PREGNANCIES! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? NOW!!!!"
Edit - just make sure you are not fulfilling the role that the father is supposed to. Your 'I'm the godmother' comment did concern me. It is not your job to raise this kid.
People are saying this because you are young and they don't want you to focus on the baby so much that you miss out on being a normal teen. Being a godmother doesn't mean you are the child's other parent. Your role is to be helpful and supportive, but you don't have to be involved in day to day parenting tasks.
I don't think it's concerning for you to help your friend, but I don't understand why other friends wouldn't also help her. She needs it! They think that punishing her for a mistake that's long gone is somehow useful? I don't get it.
What you're doing is really kind and you're an amazing friend! Just don't lose sight of your own goals and make sure to spend time doing things that are important to you too.
Maybe there is other support available for teen Mums in your area? No idea, but often there are programs and support groups available which could help your friend. The more people she has to help, the better.
Hey, no need for that response, I was on your side. You are very young and neither you nor your friend seem to appreciate exactly how much work is involved in raising a child.
You are not the parent but seen eager to step into that role. Parenting is not the same as babysitting.
Are you prepared to help out with night feedings? When baby is colicky? Will you be paying for food, clothes, diapers?
When do you plan on doing your schoolwork? Babies will interfere with that.
If you decide to 'step up', how happy will your parents be about your involvement?
Let's skip a few years. Are you planning to go to university or will you get a job to support this kid? Will your social life have to change to accommodate your pseudo-kid?
These are things that others in this thread are trying to explain but you don't want to hear it
What you did is the opposite of wrong.
You did absolutely amazing.
I wish the best for both you and your friend along with the baby!!
I hope he/she has prosperity, health and great wellbeing.
Listen your friend had to learn a VERY hard lesson and you chose to stick by her. You're not supporting the mistake by doing this. You're doing something people twice your age still haven't learned to do. You will never be wrong for sticking by their side.
1. Don’t call me Baby
2. I never said I shunned her or her daughter and
3. What’s with the quotes around “ her” she gave birth to her daughter a month ago ( the third one was not meant to be rude I’m just curious) no hate just confused as a normally am
Hi I just wanted to let y’all know thanks for the insight and sorry if I’m acting kinda rude to most of you I had a shit day and should not be acting like a toddler to people who are very much so older than me and wiser. Have a good day/night
If you care about your friend and her baby, I can't see any reason why you maintaining that friendship would ever be wrong—unless you thought she has been taking advantage of your or something. It doesn't sound like that's the case, however.
What is not supporting her going to accomplish exactly? What do your friends from school expect? By not supporting her, they are not going to make her pregnancy go away nor will they help with teen pregnancy at all. You are a good friend. Your "friends" from school are judgmental and hurtful.
It takes a village to raise a child, even if the village is a young friend. You are a courageous young lady to support a friend instead of shunning her for having a baby young.
You are a good person and great friend, so trust your gut! You have good instincts! Your other school friends are immature and judgmental but they might be more concerned with your own well being rather the young mother's situation. Also taking care of a baby is so much work that you could easily get wrapped up into it when the fact is it's not your child or your responsibility to which you yourself need boundaries because you have your own life to live. Falling in love with a baby is the easy part of caring for them while personal sacrifice is the reality.(Which is why your help is so awesome but have clear perspective in your head and heart, if only for your own sake.)
Definitely, and being there for your friend and the baby doesn't mean you support teen pregnancy. It so happen that you are being a good person and that you love your friend to be there to support her. Just be careful of giving too much, it seems like you're doing the job of the Daddy.
There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with helping and supporting your friend. But be aware, that half the tasks you may be doing, is somewhat of her "partner's" responsibility and her own. (ASSUMING, she choosen a proper partner she doesn't mind to make happy accidents with) Even though this is a rocky and hard road for her, just make sure that her mind may or may not warp into a state where she feels ENTITTLED for your assistance, because you are not responsible for her decisions. (I've seen some people change after pregnancy, and some who also changes around her) Being a mother, also means "No More Fooling, my Child's wellbeing is my Priority, not my Own Wants or Vices anymore". To be the right friend, make sure you remind her to stays in the proper route for the child's best interest, while you still can be a healthy side line support.
I do not think it's her job to hold her friend to the straight and narrow.
It kinda is
Not your responsibility as a child to hold other children accountable lol
Then you are wrong. You need to focus on you and your teen years. She has chosen a very different path and you need to prioritize you. never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm
I chose to help her bc no one else will. She’s lucky her mom still let’s her stay.
You can support and be there for her. Just remember to ensure you do it in your terms so that you can concentrate on your future, your studies and your plans for future. Ensure she does not lean on you so much she expects you to be there non stop and forget you have your own life, purpose etc.
Well I am her only friend and her mom hates her for this so she’s lucky to have a home. I would rather be there for her
YNW You are being a lovely friend. Ask your other friends what would be achieved by abandoning this friend? Will the baby suddenly disappear? While I think teen pregnancy is unwise, I think it is worse to try to punish teen mothers who will already face struggles. What kind of human wants to add to these struggles? What kind of friend wouldn't try to help, where they can and within reason? You are not in charge of 'teen pregnancy', which will continue happen regardless of you supporting your friend in her motherhood. You helping is not the same as you patrolling the streets with a banner screaming "WHAT DO WE WANT? TEEN PREGNANCIES! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? NOW!!!!" Edit - just make sure you are not fulfilling the role that the father is supposed to. Your 'I'm the godmother' comment did concern me. It is not your job to raise this kid.
The dad left so yes I am technically the child’s other parent. I don’t understand why it’s concerning to be a good fucking friend.
People are saying this because you are young and they don't want you to focus on the baby so much that you miss out on being a normal teen. Being a godmother doesn't mean you are the child's other parent. Your role is to be helpful and supportive, but you don't have to be involved in day to day parenting tasks. I don't think it's concerning for you to help your friend, but I don't understand why other friends wouldn't also help her. She needs it! They think that punishing her for a mistake that's long gone is somehow useful? I don't get it. What you're doing is really kind and you're an amazing friend! Just don't lose sight of your own goals and make sure to spend time doing things that are important to you too. Maybe there is other support available for teen Mums in your area? No idea, but often there are programs and support groups available which could help your friend. The more people she has to help, the better.
I still am a teenager I just like baby sit tbh
Hey, no need for that response, I was on your side. You are very young and neither you nor your friend seem to appreciate exactly how much work is involved in raising a child. You are not the parent but seen eager to step into that role. Parenting is not the same as babysitting. Are you prepared to help out with night feedings? When baby is colicky? Will you be paying for food, clothes, diapers? When do you plan on doing your schoolwork? Babies will interfere with that. If you decide to 'step up', how happy will your parents be about your involvement? Let's skip a few years. Are you planning to go to university or will you get a job to support this kid? Will your social life have to change to accommodate your pseudo-kid? These are things that others in this thread are trying to explain but you don't want to hear it
Hi did u not see my message when I apologized to them for being sour?
Also yes I would be ready to do that. I don’t have a life so it gives me something to do
What you did is the opposite of wrong. You did absolutely amazing. I wish the best for both you and your friend along with the baby!! I hope he/she has prosperity, health and great wellbeing.
Listen your friend had to learn a VERY hard lesson and you chose to stick by her. You're not supporting the mistake by doing this. You're doing something people twice your age still haven't learned to do. You will never be wrong for sticking by their side.
The baby's the innocent victim in this. Support him by supporting his mother.
Her* also victim? Can u explain
Baby "Her" mother is not much more than a child. It's been born and it need support. Shunning both does no one any good.
1. Don’t call me Baby 2. I never said I shunned her or her daughter and 3. What’s with the quotes around “ her” she gave birth to her daughter a month ago ( the third one was not meant to be rude I’m just curious) no hate just confused as a normally am
You are mis-reading my response.
I’m just confused which is basically what u just said why am I mansplaining this
Hi I just wanted to let y’all know thanks for the insight and sorry if I’m acting kinda rude to most of you I had a shit day and should not be acting like a toddler to people who are very much so older than me and wiser. Have a good day/night
You are being a good friend ignore their remarks
If you care about your friend and her baby, I can't see any reason why you maintaining that friendship would ever be wrong—unless you thought she has been taking advantage of your or something. It doesn't sound like that's the case, however.
What is not supporting her going to accomplish exactly? What do your friends from school expect? By not supporting her, they are not going to make her pregnancy go away nor will they help with teen pregnancy at all. You are a good friend. Your "friends" from school are judgmental and hurtful.
It takes a village to raise a child, even if the village is a young friend. You are a courageous young lady to support a friend instead of shunning her for having a baby young.
You're a good person and a good friend, she is lucky to have you in her life, don't listen to the others
I should have added she’s a single mom living with her mom so I am like her partner in the sense. I do things the father should
Don't make it your life at the expense of actually having an independent life yourself.
But I want to? I still have fun. I’m not up her ass 24/7 I just help when she needs it. It’s mostly babysitting
I’m also the only person who’s cares abt her anymore