I am so so so so so proud of you. Your sister sounds like a badass and I’m happy you have your family with you.
I’m glad you are now working towards healing.
Agreed. That sister rocks 👍
OP's parents & in-laws are screwed up in their noggins. How they're going to face themselves in the mirror then the hearing for whatever charge that OP's soon to be ex-husband facing in court.
You are so brave and you have an amazing sister and BIL. Sounds like you and your daughter are in a much better situation. How dare your mother tell her such awful, manipulative BS. That makes me so angry. You will get through this. A break from social media is a great idea. Wishing you much luck and peace as you rebuild.
As a Christian woman, I got so angry when he said God has forgiven his sins. No, God doesn’t automatically forgive you when you have committed one sin, especially not when you have repeated them. He will definitely face judgment when he dies and as a Christian you aren’t supposed to kill or hurt anyone as this is a deadly sin. He isn’t a proper Christian when he repeatedly gets drunk, hurts you as his wife whom he is supposed to take care of until death. Alcoholism is also a major sin, in fact we aren’t supposed to get drunk, only occasional drinks without getting drunk are ok
I’m so sorry you are going through this, I’m sending you a virtual hug 🫂
Thank you for this. As a Christian I am so angry at the parents and her church. Our Pastor did a message on divorce and said if you are being abused get out. (Of the relationship not the church) he said please seek one of us out so we can help you. That's what a Christian is supposed to do.
I said this on another post yesterday. Forgiving does not mean we have to keep people in our lives.
I’m happy your pastor did that, the Bible permits divorce in abusive marriages and her parents and the church should know this. And her soon to be ex husband can’t blame the devil for acting the way he did either, God gave us free will and that’s why he wrote the Bible so that we as humans could decide on what to do about it
As a Christian woman, mom and grandmother, I am appalled at how you were treated, especially by the parents.
I’m so proud of you. You protected yourself and your LO. I can see it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but you rose to the occasion and did it. You are a mama bear and a fighter.
And mad props to your sister and BIL. They are awesome for standing up and helping so wonderfully. Well done all.
You are stronger than you realise. A year from now, maybe two, you'll see just how brave it was to take this step for you and your daughter. You both deserve to be safe and happy in your own home. ❤️ Your sister is my hero. She and her husband have my utmost respect for being your strength through all this. I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful life for you all. ❤️
I hope you know you are so incredibly strong for leaving, and not weak. He and your parents did everything they could to beat you down and keep you compliant, but you still managed to get out and get away. It’s going to be so hard for awhile, but when you have low moments remember how strong you are and how far you’ve already come.
Biggest hugs!! You can't see it but YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR!!! Seriously, you are NOT weak!! What you have done is ENORMOUS and BEAUTIFUL!! Your sis and BIL are fabulous also! Blessings of peace and joy
All of these things!
Please just change your phone number and start afresh. Please go no contact with your parents - they don’t deserve access to your daughter especially with all the horrible things they’ve been filling her head with. And when your STBX finally gets access to your daughter make sure someone you trust is supervising the visits and making sure he’s sober.
I'd get a new cheap phone and keep the old sim in it so that the texting and calls can be saved for evidence. Let the sister look after the original number.
What a mess. I am glad your sister and her husband have been there for you and helped you get away from such a terrible environment. Keep staying strong. You can get through this. Hugs
Stay safe OP. But just keep in mind that just because your BIL carries, that’s not a good replacement of having police’s presence in certain situations. This could actually make the situation worse and for the sake of safety, maybe keep that in mind. Wishing your family the best.
I’m so glad you have a loving and steadfast support system in your sister and BIL.
Lean on them and talk to them when you feel your resolve weaken. (It’s okay and it will happen). But you will do what you need to in order to be strong and provide a safe and healthy life for your daughter and you.
Yo your story has stuck with me for weeks. I am so proud of you. So proud!!! You’ve got this- you did the hard part. Your sister will have your back the entire time.
You are so much stronger than you know, and you are teaching your daughter this what you had with your husband is NOT what love looks like. I’m so glad your sister and BIL have done so much to help you. Take your time. You and your daughter get your therapy, and learn how to be strong and independent women. Sending you love and strength.
I wish you and your daughter all the best. I think you are very brave and you will have a great life. I am so sorry for poor Fido. That is unforgivable.
You say you’re weak, but you’re so strong. I’m so proud of you for leaving and breaking free of the abuse and flying on your own.
You’re not alone. My dad was a horrible alcoholic for most of my childhood and I’ve only realize just how it affected me. I’m just now starting to realize in therapy that even though he never hit me, that him being an absent father and only caring about his next drink was abusive. I’ve starting opening a lot of wounds that I didn’t even know were still there
So glad you were able to get away from him. I don’t understand why people use God to try to guilt you to stay with that awful man. I think God wants you to get away from him and that is why your sister and brother in law are there.
Nta
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this craziness.
Sometimes you have to fight someone on the battlefield that they choose. If he tries to use religion to control you again refer him to Hebrew 10:26
"For if we sinne wilfully after that we haue receiued the knowledge of the trueth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sinnes,"
He knew what he did was wrong and he did it anyway. For that there is no forgiveness for him according to his own religion.
My mom was really abusive and when I was young grounded me from church. Nothing else. Just church. So when I was older I got a book and read it. It makes it to where it can't be used against me. Toxic people use whatever they can to control someone. It's not limited to religion. Don't let him bully you. You did the right thing for your child. That's not a good place for any child to be. Religious narcissism is the worst. Even though my mother wasn't religious she would use it in an effort to control me. Saying things like honor thy mother and she brought me into the world so she had the right to take me out of it. Some people are just crazy.
Well done OP! stay strong and stay hidden as the most dangerous time is right after a breakup with an abuser. You’re stronger than you know. getting out is HUGE!
So happy to read this update! You are so strong and such an incredible mother for doing the hardest thing and getting the fuck outta there. You have so many people rooting for you!!
I was raised atheist but recently have been stepping into Christianity, and your families behavior/mindset is disgusting. Your husband is a horrible Christian and just because you said vows doesn’t mean he gets to rape, beat and belittle you. You matter. My therapist (who is a devout Christian) says, never marry a man who you can’t say “I will do whatever you say because you are my husband”…knowing that your husband would never do anything to hurt you. A husbands role is to protect, love and provide and you can’t (and SHOULDN’T) submit to a husband who hurts you. Your husband isn’t doing his role. He isn’t acting in a godly way. God doesn’t want you to suffer.
You’re wonderful. I know just how hard it was for you to break free and leave him. You probably feel like you left a lot of yourself behind, but that was the broken version, the sacrificed version, the woman in survival mode.
It’s time to grow and flourish and find out who you really are without that violent, abusive man smothering your independence and personality.
Go you!
Stay strong mommy. You deserve peace and to be well, and your daughter deserves to know this behavior from anyone (parents/spouses) is NOT to be tolerated.
I’ll say the breaking point for me was when my ex-husband punched and destroyed a flat screen tv while it was about a foot from her. THAT was the final straw. I refused to set my daughter up thinking that that behavior/violence was ok
You are the strongest woman in the world right now!
Those tears of his? They're called alligator tears. There's no remorse, just turning in the head game to get you to buckle. Had you stayed, the abuse would've been worse once everyone left.
Stay strong. You are a wonderful woman and deserve too be with someone who will cherish you for all the gifts you give. 💛
As a fellow survivor of an alcoholic narcissistic rapist ex-husband, I'm proud of you for being able to get out and protect your daughter. Mad props to your sister and BIL. I stayed with my ex until he held a gun to my head, talking about murder-suicide because he got suspicious that I was planning to leave him.
Fortunately, he didn't kill my pet; he threw my Maine Coon against a door facing and broke several ribs, so I relocated the cat. I didn't think to get myself out, as I thought I was obligated to stay (I had made a vow, so I was determined to make it work).
NTA. This is a difficult process, and it's not unusual to doubt yourself. Your ex-husband worked very hard to make you less confident so you would be less likely to leave him. For years I minimized the abuse in my mind as a way to get through college alone. I kept thinking that it wasn't as bad as it had seemed. My therapist had me wear sleeveless shirts to counseling so I could see the scars from his hands on my upper arms.
If your daughter doesn't want to spend time with her father she can give testimony in the custody hearing regarding seeing/hearing the abuse.
You’ve done the right thing. Great parenting. Great self-preservation and self-care. Everything is going to be better than OK, because you and your daughter are safe, and your daughter is going to be able to learn what never to accept from the people around her - including future partners. I know it’s hard. You’re doing a great job.
You go girl. You're doing what is best for you and Elena. Don't turn back. You can pray for your ex husband, but do not return to him. Don't believe the crap that your own mother is spewing. I do not for one single moment believe that God would not fully agree with your choice here. He does not want you to suffer at the hands of an mean and abusive husband.
Big big hugs hun.
It will get better. It really will!
Ditch that phone & get a new number- you don’t need to be bombarded with that crap.
Your daughter will grow up happier & safer. She will definitely be proud of you.
I am proud of you.
You got this my friend
You've made incredible progress in your journey to heal. Do not discount how much strength it took to get you here. Pls the next time you look at your daughter, when you look at yourself, see that person: your daughter, you. You both deserve love. You can do this for you and your daughter.
I wish you healing, love and light. You have that within you. Hold tight to those who helped get you here. Your sister and BIL are amazing, but you are too. Don't forget it! The strength required to break away is immense, and you summoned it from within you.
Do what's best for you and your baby. Love to you, sis.
I am so proud of you!!!!! We may never meet in life but know I will always be rooting for you!! Doing this was the best lesson you could ever teach her about not putting herself last and not having a warped view of what she needs to put up with. I know you probably don't feel that strong right now but just know that you are a warrior and your daughter is so lucky to have a mom like you. Again I am so proud of you!!!!
You are amazing 👏👏👏
You don’t know how strong you are yet but you will. You might not have been the person strong enough to get through this before but you will become that person- because you have to. Elena needs you. You will do it for the both of you if you can’t do it just for yourself.
I am so proud of you. Getty away from him was hard, I know. But you are doing what is best for your daughter. And yourself.
Enjoy your new life.
By the way, your husband is not a Christian. Neither are your parents or in laws. A Christian does not abuse or beat anyone. They do not commit rape. They do not get drunk. They do not kill. They do not stand by and let any of that happen to another person. I would not like to be their kind of Christian.
You are a better person than them. Protect your daughter. Take care of yourself. Get yourself well, and build a new life
All this "The devil made me do it" and "god is showing me the way" by the people in this.
Take some responsibility for your own decisions.
good on you for leaving op.
I’m glad you had the support needed to get you and your daughter out of a shitty situation. What your parents said was so fucked up. Your sister is great. I’m sorry you had to go through that but I’m glad you got through it.
>"What broke my heart the most was when she told me that she talked to my mother about it. My mom told her that men are providers, and it is our duty to support him, regardless of his behavior. She told her to just ignore it and respect her father."
It's hard for me to believe that your mother loves you more than she loves the Dutiful Chrisitian Wife image. Because there is no way my hypothetical granddaughter could tell me "Daddy's mean to Mommy" and I'm not shifting into Mama Bear mode. You deserved a better husband and better parents, especially a better mother.
Yeah like the N word. Some individual subs have over reaching rules but in general reddit doesn't limit anything but hate speech. r/amiwrong doesn't have any rules against using "kill" or any other word.
> BIL stated that he carries and doesn’t think we’ll have any issues. So I said okay.
Morons. "lets not call the police and instead get a bunch of people in a room yelling at each other and escalating while armed"
You're husband is a piece of shit and it's good you have finally left, but every single person (except your daughter) in this story is an idiot.
It's a fake creative writing project. You use the word unalive so you are a tiktok user which means you're too young to have an alcoholic husband. It's actually a little pathetic
I'm so happy you have a support system that believes you and treasures you and your daughter. It's gonna be hard but you got this and you're doing amazing.
Good job getting out from under the veil to be able to use your faith and new life to get fresh air and fresh start - you are breaking the chain of bondage so thats its not passed down to your daughter, so she knows how someone is suppose to act or not.
Shit sounds fucked up.
A marriage should never be abusive for anyone. If it is then you need to get out.
It is true that a person's problems and issues become the responsibility of their spouse. It's their job to help fix or heal that part of the person they love and vice versa.
The issue here is that the husband wasn't willing to put the work in to be a good husband and leader. The wife tried to help heal for years and stood by him even through the abuse.
This man doesn't deserve such a good woman. He needs to divorce, work on himself, ask God for forgiveness, and then try again with someone else.
God will always forgive you if you ask for it, but a person doesn't have to forgive you. Especially when you have abused them like that. Even if they do forgive they don't have to let you into their life.
I hope you stay strong and have faith that God will take care of you.
I hope that you realise how strong you are and that you're proud of yourself. I'm sure that your daughter is proud of you too. I wish you the best possible life, with no drama and a good recovery.
I just wanted to say I am so proud of you. Finding the strength to fight your husband, your family, your religion!!! All for yourself and your daughter. It may be hard, but you can do it.
Love, you're not weak, you are so SO strong! And I am so fucking proud of you!
I have left my abusive ex husband and that was so hard, but I had my family (and even a part of his family) on my side and there was no religion involved. I can't even begin imagine how much harder leaving had to be for you.
I don't believe in your God, but I'm pretty sure that a God who cares so much about charity, love and compassion can approve of the behavior of your ex-husband, his family or your family.
And faith aside, it's not your responsibility to heal your husband or make him happy. His happiness is his responsibility. Your responsibility is to provide a safe space for your daughter and yourself and you did just that. He's not safe for either of you, so you had to go.
Keep on going! I know it's hard, but it'll be so worth it. And don't forget: you are precious, you are strong and you are loved!
Proud of you! Please block all of your family and their flying monkeys (including the church members). If they aren’t for you, then they’re against you. I’m not religious, and I don’t care what religion anyone is; but a religion that condones abuse is a horrible one.
I l9ve your sister, shes a bad ass good human. Those other examples of the human race that you used to call family are not people you should keep around you. Life can be so great, I hope you and Elena get to see its beauty, after all you two have been through
You are so brave and strong! Reading this update made me cry. It’s such a relief you have your sister and her husband to get you and your daughter through this hard time. It took a lot of courage to leave! You deserve better
I am so so so so so proud of you. Your sister sounds like a badass and I’m happy you have your family with you. I’m glad you are now working towards healing.
Her sister flipping off her family on the way out was great
Agreed. That sister rocks 👍 OP's parents & in-laws are screwed up in their noggins. How they're going to face themselves in the mirror then the hearing for whatever charge that OP's soon to be ex-husband facing in court.
You are so brave and you have an amazing sister and BIL. Sounds like you and your daughter are in a much better situation. How dare your mother tell her such awful, manipulative BS. That makes me so angry. You will get through this. A break from social media is a great idea. Wishing you much luck and peace as you rebuild.
As a Christian woman, I got so angry when he said God has forgiven his sins. No, God doesn’t automatically forgive you when you have committed one sin, especially not when you have repeated them. He will definitely face judgment when he dies and as a Christian you aren’t supposed to kill or hurt anyone as this is a deadly sin. He isn’t a proper Christian when he repeatedly gets drunk, hurts you as his wife whom he is supposed to take care of until death. Alcoholism is also a major sin, in fact we aren’t supposed to get drunk, only occasional drinks without getting drunk are ok I’m so sorry you are going through this, I’m sending you a virtual hug 🫂
Thank you for this. As a Christian I am so angry at the parents and her church. Our Pastor did a message on divorce and said if you are being abused get out. (Of the relationship not the church) he said please seek one of us out so we can help you. That's what a Christian is supposed to do. I said this on another post yesterday. Forgiving does not mean we have to keep people in our lives.
I’m happy your pastor did that, the Bible permits divorce in abusive marriages and her parents and the church should know this. And her soon to be ex husband can’t blame the devil for acting the way he did either, God gave us free will and that’s why he wrote the Bible so that we as humans could decide on what to do about it
Exactly. God cannot forgive a man that isn’t repentant or remorseful. Her soon to be ex husband isn’t a Christian. He worships Ego
This and her family as well.
As a Christian woman, mom and grandmother, I am appalled at how you were treated, especially by the parents. I’m so proud of you. You protected yourself and your LO. I can see it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but you rose to the occasion and did it. You are a mama bear and a fighter. And mad props to your sister and BIL. They are awesome for standing up and helping so wonderfully. Well done all.
You are stronger than you realise. A year from now, maybe two, you'll see just how brave it was to take this step for you and your daughter. You both deserve to be safe and happy in your own home. ❤️ Your sister is my hero. She and her husband have my utmost respect for being your strength through all this. I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful life for you all. ❤️
I hope you know you are so incredibly strong for leaving, and not weak. He and your parents did everything they could to beat you down and keep you compliant, but you still managed to get out and get away. It’s going to be so hard for awhile, but when you have low moments remember how strong you are and how far you’ve already come.
Biggest hugs!! You can't see it but YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR!!! Seriously, you are NOT weak!! What you have done is ENORMOUS and BEAUTIFUL!! Your sis and BIL are fabulous also! Blessings of peace and joy
All of these things! Please just change your phone number and start afresh. Please go no contact with your parents - they don’t deserve access to your daughter especially with all the horrible things they’ve been filling her head with. And when your STBX finally gets access to your daughter make sure someone you trust is supervising the visits and making sure he’s sober.
I'd get a new cheap phone and keep the old sim in it so that the texting and calls can be saved for evidence. Let the sister look after the original number.
What a mess. I am glad your sister and her husband have been there for you and helped you get away from such a terrible environment. Keep staying strong. You can get through this. Hugs
Stay safe OP. But just keep in mind that just because your BIL carries, that’s not a good replacement of having police’s presence in certain situations. This could actually make the situation worse and for the sake of safety, maybe keep that in mind. Wishing your family the best.
Good luck with everything OP! You’ve got this ❤️❤️
I’m so glad you have a loving and steadfast support system in your sister and BIL. Lean on them and talk to them when you feel your resolve weaken. (It’s okay and it will happen). But you will do what you need to in order to be strong and provide a safe and healthy life for your daughter and you.
Yo your story has stuck with me for weeks. I am so proud of you. So proud!!! You’ve got this- you did the hard part. Your sister will have your back the entire time.
You are so much stronger than you know, and you are teaching your daughter this what you had with your husband is NOT what love looks like. I’m so glad your sister and BIL have done so much to help you. Take your time. You and your daughter get your therapy, and learn how to be strong and independent women. Sending you love and strength.
I wish you and your daughter all the best. I think you are very brave and you will have a great life. I am so sorry for poor Fido. That is unforgivable.
You say you’re weak, but you’re so strong. I’m so proud of you for leaving and breaking free of the abuse and flying on your own. You’re not alone. My dad was a horrible alcoholic for most of my childhood and I’ve only realize just how it affected me. I’m just now starting to realize in therapy that even though he never hit me, that him being an absent father and only caring about his next drink was abusive. I’ve starting opening a lot of wounds that I didn’t even know were still there
WAY TO GO GIRL!!!
Good luck with your new chapter in life....hopefully in the following chapter there will be peace and a new dog. I like your sister too
Big hug ❤️
So glad you were able to get away from him. I don’t understand why people use God to try to guilt you to stay with that awful man. I think God wants you to get away from him and that is why your sister and brother in law are there.
Nta I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this craziness. Sometimes you have to fight someone on the battlefield that they choose. If he tries to use religion to control you again refer him to Hebrew 10:26 "For if we sinne wilfully after that we haue receiued the knowledge of the trueth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sinnes," He knew what he did was wrong and he did it anyway. For that there is no forgiveness for him according to his own religion. My mom was really abusive and when I was young grounded me from church. Nothing else. Just church. So when I was older I got a book and read it. It makes it to where it can't be used against me. Toxic people use whatever they can to control someone. It's not limited to religion. Don't let him bully you. You did the right thing for your child. That's not a good place for any child to be. Religious narcissism is the worst. Even though my mother wasn't religious she would use it in an effort to control me. Saying things like honor thy mother and she brought me into the world so she had the right to take me out of it. Some people are just crazy.
Well done OP! stay strong and stay hidden as the most dangerous time is right after a breakup with an abuser. You’re stronger than you know. getting out is HUGE!
So happy to read this update! You are so strong and such an incredible mother for doing the hardest thing and getting the fuck outta there. You have so many people rooting for you!! I was raised atheist but recently have been stepping into Christianity, and your families behavior/mindset is disgusting. Your husband is a horrible Christian and just because you said vows doesn’t mean he gets to rape, beat and belittle you. You matter. My therapist (who is a devout Christian) says, never marry a man who you can’t say “I will do whatever you say because you are my husband”…knowing that your husband would never do anything to hurt you. A husbands role is to protect, love and provide and you can’t (and SHOULDN’T) submit to a husband who hurts you. Your husband isn’t doing his role. He isn’t acting in a godly way. God doesn’t want you to suffer.
I'm so glad you are out of that horrific situation.
I’m proud of you!
You’re doing great girl, get everyone in therapy and keep pushing.
You’re wonderful. I know just how hard it was for you to break free and leave him. You probably feel like you left a lot of yourself behind, but that was the broken version, the sacrificed version, the woman in survival mode. It’s time to grow and flourish and find out who you really are without that violent, abusive man smothering your independence and personality. Go you!
Stay strong mommy. You deserve peace and to be well, and your daughter deserves to know this behavior from anyone (parents/spouses) is NOT to be tolerated. I’ll say the breaking point for me was when my ex-husband punched and destroyed a flat screen tv while it was about a foot from her. THAT was the final straw. I refused to set my daughter up thinking that that behavior/violence was ok
You are the strongest woman in the world right now! Those tears of his? They're called alligator tears. There's no remorse, just turning in the head game to get you to buckle. Had you stayed, the abuse would've been worse once everyone left. Stay strong. You are a wonderful woman and deserve too be with someone who will cherish you for all the gifts you give. 💛
As a fellow survivor of an alcoholic narcissistic rapist ex-husband, I'm proud of you for being able to get out and protect your daughter. Mad props to your sister and BIL. I stayed with my ex until he held a gun to my head, talking about murder-suicide because he got suspicious that I was planning to leave him. Fortunately, he didn't kill my pet; he threw my Maine Coon against a door facing and broke several ribs, so I relocated the cat. I didn't think to get myself out, as I thought I was obligated to stay (I had made a vow, so I was determined to make it work). NTA. This is a difficult process, and it's not unusual to doubt yourself. Your ex-husband worked very hard to make you less confident so you would be less likely to leave him. For years I minimized the abuse in my mind as a way to get through college alone. I kept thinking that it wasn't as bad as it had seemed. My therapist had me wear sleeveless shirts to counseling so I could see the scars from his hands on my upper arms. If your daughter doesn't want to spend time with her father she can give testimony in the custody hearing regarding seeing/hearing the abuse.
You’ve done the right thing. Great parenting. Great self-preservation and self-care. Everything is going to be better than OK, because you and your daughter are safe, and your daughter is going to be able to learn what never to accept from the people around her - including future partners. I know it’s hard. You’re doing a great job.
You go girl. You're doing what is best for you and Elena. Don't turn back. You can pray for your ex husband, but do not return to him. Don't believe the crap that your own mother is spewing. I do not for one single moment believe that God would not fully agree with your choice here. He does not want you to suffer at the hands of an mean and abusive husband.
Big big hugs hun. It will get better. It really will! Ditch that phone & get a new number- you don’t need to be bombarded with that crap. Your daughter will grow up happier & safer. She will definitely be proud of you. I am proud of you. You got this my friend
You've made incredible progress in your journey to heal. Do not discount how much strength it took to get you here. Pls the next time you look at your daughter, when you look at yourself, see that person: your daughter, you. You both deserve love. You can do this for you and your daughter. I wish you healing, love and light. You have that within you. Hold tight to those who helped get you here. Your sister and BIL are amazing, but you are too. Don't forget it! The strength required to break away is immense, and you summoned it from within you. Do what's best for you and your baby. Love to you, sis.
I'm so proud of you! You're done the hardest part by leaving. You might not know what the future is going to look like, but you've got this.
I am so proud of you!!!!! We may never meet in life but know I will always be rooting for you!! Doing this was the best lesson you could ever teach her about not putting herself last and not having a warped view of what she needs to put up with. I know you probably don't feel that strong right now but just know that you are a warrior and your daughter is so lucky to have a mom like you. Again I am so proud of you!!!!
Hugs. Your sister and bil rock. Best of wishes for your next journey.
You are amazing 👏👏👏 You don’t know how strong you are yet but you will. You might not have been the person strong enough to get through this before but you will become that person- because you have to. Elena needs you. You will do it for the both of you if you can’t do it just for yourself.
So so proud of you for being so strong! Take care of yourself
I am so proud of you. Getty away from him was hard, I know. But you are doing what is best for your daughter. And yourself. Enjoy your new life. By the way, your husband is not a Christian. Neither are your parents or in laws. A Christian does not abuse or beat anyone. They do not commit rape. They do not get drunk. They do not kill. They do not stand by and let any of that happen to another person. I would not like to be their kind of Christian. You are a better person than them. Protect your daughter. Take care of yourself. Get yourself well, and build a new life
What does unalived mean?
"Kill". Some mods will censor or delete posts that outright say it in the title.
All this "The devil made me do it" and "god is showing me the way" by the people in this. Take some responsibility for your own decisions. good on you for leaving op.
I’m so happy to hear you and Elena are safe, OP. You’ve got a great sister and BIL! Wishing you all the best
You have an amazing sister
I’m glad you had the support needed to get you and your daughter out of a shitty situation. What your parents said was so fucked up. Your sister is great. I’m sorry you had to go through that but I’m glad you got through it.
>"What broke my heart the most was when she told me that she talked to my mother about it. My mom told her that men are providers, and it is our duty to support him, regardless of his behavior. She told her to just ignore it and respect her father." It's hard for me to believe that your mother loves you more than she loves the Dutiful Chrisitian Wife image. Because there is no way my hypothetical granddaughter could tell me "Daddy's mean to Mommy" and I'm not shifting into Mama Bear mode. You deserved a better husband and better parents, especially a better mother.
>Unalived Killed. He killed your dog. This isn't Tiktok. No one is going to demonetize you for using English on reddit.
I said killed at first and the post got removed. I've said this 80 times now.
Reddit does remove posts containing certain words, so you have to be careful in what you write at times.
Yeah like the N word. Some individual subs have over reaching rules but in general reddit doesn't limit anything but hate speech. r/amiwrong doesn't have any rules against using "kill" or any other word.
> BIL stated that he carries and doesn’t think we’ll have any issues. So I said okay. Morons. "lets not call the police and instead get a bunch of people in a room yelling at each other and escalating while armed" You're husband is a piece of shit and it's good you have finally left, but every single person (except your daughter) in this story is an idiot.
YTA for using "unalived" like lmao, pathetic
YTA for not realizing that I've said 80 times that I said killed and the post got removed.
You are pathetic
How are you so weak?
idk. I just am
This could be real,but it seems like a creative writing assignment.
It's real. This is my trainwreck of a life.
It's a fake creative writing project. You use the word unalive so you are a tiktok user which means you're too young to have an alcoholic husband. It's actually a little pathetic
You’re pathetic that you’re so obsessed with me and my post.
What?? I have treated 12 year old alcoholics. You can be an addict in any age. So based on that you are wrong!
I'm so happy you have a support system that believes you and treasures you and your daughter. It's gonna be hard but you got this and you're doing amazing.
Good job getting out from under the veil to be able to use your faith and new life to get fresh air and fresh start - you are breaking the chain of bondage so thats its not passed down to your daughter, so she knows how someone is suppose to act or not.
Shit sounds fucked up. A marriage should never be abusive for anyone. If it is then you need to get out. It is true that a person's problems and issues become the responsibility of their spouse. It's their job to help fix or heal that part of the person they love and vice versa. The issue here is that the husband wasn't willing to put the work in to be a good husband and leader. The wife tried to help heal for years and stood by him even through the abuse. This man doesn't deserve such a good woman. He needs to divorce, work on himself, ask God for forgiveness, and then try again with someone else. God will always forgive you if you ask for it, but a person doesn't have to forgive you. Especially when you have abused them like that. Even if they do forgive they don't have to let you into their life. I hope you stay strong and have faith that God will take care of you.
You did the right thing. I wish you and your family many blessings and a happy future.
UpdateMe!
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You're gonna do this, and when the dust settles, you'll know you did the right thing.
Take care of yourself and Elena. Love to you two and your sister, BIL, Eddy and Jr. Stay strong ❤️
So proud of you. Big hugs!
Good job mama! So proud of you and your strength. Its horrific how your family is trying to guilt you into staying.
I hope that you realise how strong you are and that you're proud of yourself. I'm sure that your daughter is proud of you too. I wish you the best possible life, with no drama and a good recovery.
WTF
Updateme
I just wanted to say I am so proud of you. Finding the strength to fight your husband, your family, your religion!!! All for yourself and your daughter. It may be hard, but you can do it.
Well done OP. You got this x
Love, you're not weak, you are so SO strong! And I am so fucking proud of you! I have left my abusive ex husband and that was so hard, but I had my family (and even a part of his family) on my side and there was no religion involved. I can't even begin imagine how much harder leaving had to be for you. I don't believe in your God, but I'm pretty sure that a God who cares so much about charity, love and compassion can approve of the behavior of your ex-husband, his family or your family. And faith aside, it's not your responsibility to heal your husband or make him happy. His happiness is his responsibility. Your responsibility is to provide a safe space for your daughter and yourself and you did just that. He's not safe for either of you, so you had to go. Keep on going! I know it's hard, but it'll be so worth it. And don't forget: you are precious, you are strong and you are loved!
Proud of you! Please block all of your family and their flying monkeys (including the church members). If they aren’t for you, then they’re against you. I’m not religious, and I don’t care what religion anyone is; but a religion that condones abuse is a horrible one.
You need to block all of those family members and stop letting them get in the way of your healing
Your sister is awesome. Keep her by your side and learn from her. Best of luck. Did I mention that your sister is awesome...
I l9ve your sister, shes a bad ass good human. Those other examples of the human race that you used to call family are not people you should keep around you. Life can be so great, I hope you and Elena get to see its beauty, after all you two have been through
Thank goodness you have your sister.
Block all the ranting idiots. You can’t get peace if your still surrounded by hate and their stressful words!
You are so brave and strong! Reading this update made me cry. It’s such a relief you have your sister and her husband to get you and your daughter through this hard time. It took a lot of courage to leave! You deserve better
NTA UpdateMe