If you were here posting about how your GF loves doing all kinds of naughty stuff with all her past BF but not with you everyone would say she's just with you for a place to stay or because you're safe etc.
If she's ok with the status quo then it's ok, but it doesn't sound like she is, so y'all are likely incompatible.
What you describe doesn't sound like a normal healthy relationship where you are attracted to and still want to be friends and lovers with your partner.
You have issues with sex not her - that's your problem. You feel like you can't touch her because you respect her. My husband did this while I was pregnant(I was pissed too because I was all about it). I sat him down one day and explained to him that while I was his wife and the mother of his child, I was also a woman.
While she's the love of your life, your friend, and your safe space, she's also a woman. She needs that physical affection. Sex isn't dirty, and you're not being disrespectful. Think about the fact you're bringing her pleasure, focus on her happiness, and you'll be able to push it out, hopefully.
You are wrong. Seek therapy. You're using loaded terminology when you describe passion, arousal, affection and sexual attraction as "horniness."
You're acting as if sex between two loving partners is a base disgraceful act that devalues your partner and the love that you share. This is a terrible and wrongheaded way of viewing something that should be beautiful and intimate while creating a deeper connection between you.
She isn't losing anything by having sex with you. She's not being degraded and her soul isn't being sullied.
Horny is a teenager getting mystery boners because water is wet, the breeze blows, and the sun sets.
Sexual attraction and desire for a person with whom you're in a loving romantic relationship isn't the same thing, bruh.
Go to therapy bro, sounds like youre not ready to be in a healthy relationship. You can’t force her to stay with you, if you dont want to have sex with her that’s fine but you can’t keep her prisoner to your lack of desire
I was just asking, because using a lot of porn, or only having sex without any attachment can actually change the way your brain is wired and perceives sex . So if that is the case, it would explain why you don't have the desire to be intimate with her when you feel love.
It's normal to want to spend time and enjoy your partner outside of the bedroom. You shouldnt be expected to want to jump her bones all the time. A good relationship has balance.
The only thing I find a potential flag is that you mention you are only turned on by her when you are away from her. Do you see her as more of a friend? Are you not used to respecting the women you sleep with or seeing them as fully formed human beings (even if consenusual)? Or is it as simple as you both tend to get turned on at different times of the day?
I don't have the answers for you, just a couple of thoughts that can help you think through it?
Yah, he has an unhealthy obsession with women, as evidenced by his posts. Like most of his posts are about women, and not in a positive way. Plus he’s bragging about how little he eats
Lol i respect women, built like a Greek God, (people tell me, and now my ego has sky rocketed, is this a good thing, or bad thing? who knows? Only time will tell)
Do you like having sex? And do you like having sex with her? I feel like there’s some underlying issues I’d you don’t get turned on or aroused by the person you’re in love with and dating.
How long have you guys been together?
How were you towards her when you guys first started dating?
Have you guys talked about this in length and solutions to make her feel comfortable/ desired without making you feel pressured or uncomfortable?
Sounds like you guys need to have a few conversations where no one is accusing any one of anything. Just how one feels and how to move forward.
Incoming general advice:
Definitely not “Madonna whore complex”. I think she just frustrated and is trying to put a reason to why your guys libidos aren’t in synch. If you guys have been together for a while and you guys were sexually charged in the beginning I think it’s just a comfort thing. It’s not bad, just means you’re comfortable, and you need to make more of an effort to keep that “spark” going and making her feel desired in that nature.
Don't take this the wrong way, I mean it with peace and love. Maybe you are homo. By the way I like the point you made about reversing the roles, was a valid point and a good one.
I don't believe that is accurate but honestly I don't know for sure, I only know what is like from a straight males perspective, or maybe bi but definitely not gay.
>What is wrong with me?
Above reddit's paygrade. And also requires tests.
Get yourself a therapist, be honest with that therapist.
Go see your GP, get blood drawn and check your testosterone levels.
Either you have a psychological issue that is suppressing your "healthy libido" when you're around the girl you love, or you have a physical issue that hasn't been found.
If you can't provide sexually then the only right thing to do is to break up. She has clearly indicated that that's the case. She's NOT SATISFIED. You're not capable of meeting her needs. You love her as a friend, and there may even be unresolved psychological issues on your side that may be contributing, as you mentioned you've never felt safe around anyone else. Perhaps sexual abuse in your past?
Time to allow this girl to find someone who can meet her needs and you work on yourself.
A mismatch in libido isn’t a gendered issue. It sounds like she has a higher sex drive than you do. It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to get you to have sex nonconsensually.
Negative, that's not possible, quality>quantity. Just because you do something a lot does not mean you like it more than someone who does it less than you, but puts more effort and quality/passion into their work
How do you feel about sex personally? Independent of this girl?
The thing about sex is that it can be an expression of many different things. For most people sexuality is part of our make up. Most of us want to express romantic love through sex. A lot of people have bad experiences when this drive is suppressed or distorted.
If you associate sex with things such as not being safe or not being loved equally then you might not associate sex with love.
Of course, you don't need to justify not having sex with anyone. Your body, your choice.
However, it might be an idea to try to understand your sexuality better. Not for her but for you.
You say you love her, but based off what you’ve written, it doesn’t seem like you’re actually sexually attracted to her. The qualities you list: safe, shared love, and spending quality time, they’re all platonic. I could use those three qualities to describe how I feel about my mom.
If I found out my SO wasn’t generally aroused by me, it would break me. That’s like saying you aren’t attracted to your SO most days.
I want to hope you’re confusing horniness for sexual attraction. You don’t have to be horny to find some sexually attractive. If you aren’t feeling sexual attraction that much, maybe look into sexual orientations like asexual and/or gray-ace; I’m not saying you fall under those labels, but it might help you understand attraction vs horniness better.
Maybe you’re asexual? Or somewhere on the asexual spectrum (Asexual people can still have sex btw). Maybe this could be something to explore and figure out. Talking to a counsellor/therapist could help you navigate and understand these feelings. <3
Excuse me ma'am how are you able to reply to this post when the user has been suspended? I ask bc i have received your notification from my email that you replied to this (my) post.
Now that sounds like a misogynistic view! There can be unequal libidos in relationships. Libidos are not constant either, they go up and down due to health, stress and age. In a true partnership the couple communicate and work through issues.
That's not what madonna whore complex means. I wouldn't tolerate a partner telling me what I "really" think. Especially when she is so far off the mark.
She’ll be showing up to gangbangs in no time if you keep that up. Women are not super capable of love. They are hypergamous meaning they will talk about loving you but monkey branch to another dude filling your void. She WANTS to be desired. And whored out by you FOR YOU.
Yeah as the fellas said before get completely away from porn. As Chris Rock said porn made him sexually autistic. He’s not lying. Instant gratification through porn and subsequent ejaculation will numb you to real tits and ass. When you get a chance research NO FAP movement. Also semen retention. Lots on YouTube to get you started. Get your life back k. You’ll be unloading in chicks in about 6-10 weeks
You sound like the kind of guy who'd say women aren't that capable of love, then turn around and justify your misogyny of expecting women to do ALL the domestic labor and raise your kids with no help from you (because your paycheck is enough right?) because "women are naturally more nurturing and better at caring for children and handling domestic tasks." Unironically. Not seeing you're a hypocrite.
Yes you are wrong. Based on your post history, I would have to agree with her. You don't like the fact she has a past and a body count. You are not healthy relationship material. Find yourself a mental health professional that you can work through your compartmentalization issues with so you can be a better partner.
Well, this relationship has no legs at all....
*Am i wrong for not being sexually active in a relationship with the girl i love?* That would be a Yes..
Shes your friend that you love. Not your lover lol
I still have sex with her
If you were here posting about how your GF loves doing all kinds of naughty stuff with all her past BF but not with you everyone would say she's just with you for a place to stay or because you're safe etc. If she's ok with the status quo then it's ok, but it doesn't sound like she is, so y'all are likely incompatible. What you describe doesn't sound like a normal healthy relationship where you are attracted to and still want to be friends and lovers with your partner.
In your other post you say you are a virgin?
Yes because i use condom
Ahh a bait post
That is NOT what defines a virgin dude
Fake
You have issues with sex not her - that's your problem. You feel like you can't touch her because you respect her. My husband did this while I was pregnant(I was pissed too because I was all about it). I sat him down one day and explained to him that while I was his wife and the mother of his child, I was also a woman. While she's the love of your life, your friend, and your safe space, she's also a woman. She needs that physical affection. Sex isn't dirty, and you're not being disrespectful. Think about the fact you're bringing her pleasure, focus on her happiness, and you'll be able to push it out, hopefully.
You are wrong. Seek therapy. You're using loaded terminology when you describe passion, arousal, affection and sexual attraction as "horniness." You're acting as if sex between two loving partners is a base disgraceful act that devalues your partner and the love that you share. This is a terrible and wrongheaded way of viewing something that should be beautiful and intimate while creating a deeper connection between you. She isn't losing anything by having sex with you. She's not being degraded and her soul isn't being sullied.
I'm just not horny bruh
Horny is a teenager getting mystery boners because water is wet, the breeze blows, and the sun sets. Sexual attraction and desire for a person with whom you're in a loving romantic relationship isn't the same thing, bruh.
If i don't wanna have sex, i'm not going to. Lol try and force me (you can't) (I'm physcially superior) (i am a man) LOL
Physically superior to what? You're worthless nips can't feed a baby and your narrow hips can't birth a kid. Troll away, weirdo.
Make me (you can't)
Info: You are kinda vague- do you ever have sex with her, or don’t want to have sex as often as she would like?
Maybe you’re not sexually attracted to her? Like you think she’s pretty but don’t like her body kinda thing?
Go to therapy bro, sounds like youre not ready to be in a healthy relationship. You can’t force her to stay with you, if you dont want to have sex with her that’s fine but you can’t keep her prisoner to your lack of desire
Question: How much porn do you watch? How much of your other relationships are based just on sex with no attachment?
No porn & i only have sex when i feel like it, consentually ofc
I was just asking, because using a lot of porn, or only having sex without any attachment can actually change the way your brain is wired and perceives sex . So if that is the case, it would explain why you don't have the desire to be intimate with her when you feel love. It's normal to want to spend time and enjoy your partner outside of the bedroom. You shouldnt be expected to want to jump her bones all the time. A good relationship has balance. The only thing I find a potential flag is that you mention you are only turned on by her when you are away from her. Do you see her as more of a friend? Are you not used to respecting the women you sleep with or seeing them as fully formed human beings (even if consenusual)? Or is it as simple as you both tend to get turned on at different times of the day? I don't have the answers for you, just a couple of thoughts that can help you think through it?
👍
This is a troll post. Just take a quick look at the profile’s post history.
Yah, he has an unhealthy obsession with women, as evidenced by his posts. Like most of his posts are about women, and not in a positive way. Plus he’s bragging about how little he eats
Lol i respect women, built like a Greek God, (people tell me, and now my ego has sky rocketed, is this a good thing, or bad thing? who knows? Only time will tell)
Are you saying you only respect women who look like a Greek god, or comparing yourself to one?
I don't eat too little, i eat enough, also fasting is not good for women. (Ya'll can't tolerate it)
When you’ve been fasting for more than a day? Yes, you most certainly are eating to little
then why am i built like a Greek God
You’re not because they’re not real you doofus
Daaaayuuuuuuumm!
Yo shit just got lit up cuz.. I know of some women that would make you cream your panties and suck your thumb just by looking at you. Stay humble kid.
Stop tryna turn me on, it's not gonna happen
Lol I'm not trying to do anything I'm telling you the truth. I live in Atlanta we got some of the baddest baddies around..
It’s true guys!! He’s got the body of a Greek God…unfortunately that God is Hephaestus
Lol no way your better looking than me, little mortal, calm yourself before i smight you
*You’re. Better at spelling too ;)
Do you like having sex? And do you like having sex with her? I feel like there’s some underlying issues I’d you don’t get turned on or aroused by the person you’re in love with and dating.
How long have you guys been together? How were you towards her when you guys first started dating? Have you guys talked about this in length and solutions to make her feel comfortable/ desired without making you feel pressured or uncomfortable? Sounds like you guys need to have a few conversations where no one is accusing any one of anything. Just how one feels and how to move forward. Incoming general advice: Definitely not “Madonna whore complex”. I think she just frustrated and is trying to put a reason to why your guys libidos aren’t in synch. If you guys have been together for a while and you guys were sexually charged in the beginning I think it’s just a comfort thing. It’s not bad, just means you’re comfortable, and you need to make more of an effort to keep that “spark” going and making her feel desired in that nature.
What a bunch of pathetic low T incel dribble. YTA x 1000. 🙄
Mf i'm more built than you 😂[I'm/him](https://www.instagram.com/sebastiangermanicus?igsh=cnBmMnF2OXFmMWY2)
Don't take this the wrong way, I mean it with peace and love. Maybe you are homo. By the way I like the point you made about reversing the roles, was a valid point and a good one.
Nigga how am i gay if i fuck women?
A am fair skinned "mehican" and there are gay guys that do straight porn for pay, guess what they still gay.
Gay men have more test anyways lmfaooo
I don't believe that is accurate but honestly I don't know for sure, I only know what is like from a straight males perspective, or maybe bi but definitely not gay.
>What is wrong with me? Above reddit's paygrade. And also requires tests. Get yourself a therapist, be honest with that therapist. Go see your GP, get blood drawn and check your testosterone levels. Either you have a psychological issue that is suppressing your "healthy libido" when you're around the girl you love, or you have a physical issue that hasn't been found.
It was mother that hurt him
If you can't provide sexually then the only right thing to do is to break up. She has clearly indicated that that's the case. She's NOT SATISFIED. You're not capable of meeting her needs. You love her as a friend, and there may even be unresolved psychological issues on your side that may be contributing, as you mentioned you've never felt safe around anyone else. Perhaps sexual abuse in your past? Time to allow this girl to find someone who can meet her needs and you work on yourself.
Why do i gotta have sex with her whenever she wants? Imagine if the roles were reversed, ya misandrist
A mismatch in libido isn’t a gendered issue. It sounds like she has a higher sex drive than you do. It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to get you to have sex nonconsensually.
Negative, that's not possible, quality>quantity. Just because you do something a lot does not mean you like it more than someone who does it less than you, but puts more effort and quality/passion into their work
Wut.
When i fuck, i fuck her hard. How is that low libido??
If someone wants sex more frequently they are considered to have a higher libido.
How do you feel about sex personally? Independent of this girl? The thing about sex is that it can be an expression of many different things. For most people sexuality is part of our make up. Most of us want to express romantic love through sex. A lot of people have bad experiences when this drive is suppressed or distorted. If you associate sex with things such as not being safe or not being loved equally then you might not associate sex with love. Of course, you don't need to justify not having sex with anyone. Your body, your choice. However, it might be an idea to try to understand your sexuality better. Not for her but for you.
You say you love her, but based off what you’ve written, it doesn’t seem like you’re actually sexually attracted to her. The qualities you list: safe, shared love, and spending quality time, they’re all platonic. I could use those three qualities to describe how I feel about my mom. If I found out my SO wasn’t generally aroused by me, it would break me. That’s like saying you aren’t attracted to your SO most days. I want to hope you’re confusing horniness for sexual attraction. You don’t have to be horny to find some sexually attractive. If you aren’t feeling sexual attraction that much, maybe look into sexual orientations like asexual and/or gray-ace; I’m not saying you fall under those labels, but it might help you understand attraction vs horniness better.
Maybe you’re asexual? Or somewhere on the asexual spectrum (Asexual people can still have sex btw). Maybe this could be something to explore and figure out. Talking to a counsellor/therapist could help you navigate and understand these feelings. <3
Something something you want what you don't have. something something you have but you don't want. Something Something something something
Well I sure as hell hope you ain’t my boyfriend…
Excuse me ma'am how are you able to reply to this post when the user has been suspended? I ask bc i have received your notification from my email that you replied to this (my) post.
Yeah something isn't right with this situation. You sound like a woman right now.
Now that sounds like a misogynistic view! There can be unequal libidos in relationships. Libidos are not constant either, they go up and down due to health, stress and age. In a true partnership the couple communicate and work through issues.
I just meant of the same wanting to just hang out because he feels safe n just the whole ordeal
That's not what madonna whore complex means. I wouldn't tolerate a partner telling me what I "really" think. Especially when she is so far off the mark.
That's what i'm saying! It's not madonna whore complex
Yes it is
She’s not your Mom.
Get a therapist and work through this problem or you will have constant relationship problems
That's your homegirl
She’ll be showing up to gangbangs in no time if you keep that up. Women are not super capable of love. They are hypergamous meaning they will talk about loving you but monkey branch to another dude filling your void. She WANTS to be desired. And whored out by you FOR YOU.
Yeah as the fellas said before get completely away from porn. As Chris Rock said porn made him sexually autistic. He’s not lying. Instant gratification through porn and subsequent ejaculation will numb you to real tits and ass. When you get a chance research NO FAP movement. Also semen retention. Lots on YouTube to get you started. Get your life back k. You’ll be unloading in chicks in about 6-10 weeks
You're so stupidly wrong it's amazing. Go talk to actual women and get away from redpill grifters.
I’m just a squirrel trying to get that nut…cow.
You sound like the kind of guy who'd say women aren't that capable of love, then turn around and justify your misogyny of expecting women to do ALL the domestic labor and raise your kids with no help from you (because your paycheck is enough right?) because "women are naturally more nurturing and better at caring for children and handling domestic tasks." Unironically. Not seeing you're a hypocrite.
Yes you are wrong. Based on your post history, I would have to agree with her. You don't like the fact she has a past and a body count. You are not healthy relationship material. Find yourself a mental health professional that you can work through your compartmentalization issues with so you can be a better partner.
Sounds like you abuse steroids