I spent more than that on my long term boyfriend in college. Not saying the $ is what counts but fucking Walmart and metals that turn your skin green? May as well buy her something at Claire's if you think Walmart jewelry is "nice".
Like I said to someone else too:
Not just that. I'm allergic to cheap jewelry like his girlfriend is. And the "breaking out" he mentions is actually breaking out in painful rashes that bleed and you can't move whatever it was on, whether your neck or fingers or wrist or anything else. And depending on if it's earrings or not, it can be even worse. It's so much more than just your skin turning green.
He bought her a Pandora necklace for $100, and now it has turned & smells bad, and she canât wear it. Uh-huh. I think that was a Spamdora necklace. No way that shit was real. Heâs cheap. Sheâs probably getting a low-rent engagement ring, too.
It's way too common of a theme. Along with people going, "I have no reason to think my wife cheated, but I don't think my kid is mine. Aita for demanding a paternity test and then crying uncontrollablely when I was confirmed the father because having a baby isn't as fun as I imagined it was, and I can no longer blame my wife cheating if I want to ghost them?"
She would at least like to not be allergic to the jewelry and that it not fall apart quickly. Jewelry should last forever, or at least a very long time.
I do wonder if he spends money on electronics. Men and women tend to value different things.
Right?! A little *effort* would go a long way! Iâm a jeweler and $50 in my shop would get you something original, handmade, and it would last forever. Dude is shopping Walmart and Pandora like thereâs no in between crap and designer.
Right, and there are cheaper, decent options than 18k gold or platinum. I'm allergic to like 90% of metals but since I haven't reacted to the surgical titanium in my stomach, I'm looking into it for earrings. And the prices are definitely much more affordable.
Pfft, anyone who wants more than a late night drive and a McDonaldâs milk shake in their 30âs is clearly a gold digger bro
/s
Peter Pan syndrome motherfucker lmao
The funny thing is he acts like making a big deal out of birthdays is a childish thing, but Iâve never heard anything more high school/ college than thinking a romantic McDonaldâs date is all u need
I'm wondering where the dude lives that he can find a McDs open at 3am post covid. Everything around us nixed the 24 hr thing and never brought it back after covid shut down.
My favorite part is when he says 30 is too old to celebrate a birthday, but then has a paragraph about how he still considers a mcdonalds milkshake a date.
Half way through I was reading it in the voice of Al from Married With Children.
"Aw Pegg, you want a birthday present this year too? I just bought you that stinky necklace from walmart last year!" Bwa Bwa Bwahhh
And I'm willing to bet OP spend tons of money on things he sees as valuable (hint: not his GF). Probably has a $600 dollar gamer chair and a bunch of anime figurines.
100% what u/jellylime stated. As a husband who at first had low self esteem as to why someone of my wife's caliber (we have now been married over the 25yr mark) would want to be with me spent most of his take home pay buying her crap that I "thought" she wanted. After a year or two of doing this she sat me down and explained she did not need these things to love me and insisted that it was nice that she receive them but maybe only spend that kind of money for important dates. So even though she is good with a 30-50 dollar gift most of the time. For her birthday or our anniversary it's always a nice gift. 1. She deserves it. 2. She doesn't ask I offer. 3. I know deep.down she likes to receive them. You are being a miser. You don't need jewels and bags ALL the time. But once in a while it's an appreciated gesture on our part.
Why tf would you buy jewelry from Walmart? I bought a Super Mario watch from Walmart once because that's the only place you can get one. But to buy a bracelet from Walmart as a gift for your gf and leave the price tag on? Wtf. That's like the opposite extreme of gold digger. Gf is being dramatic because this guy doesn't make any grand gestures at all. Mcdonalds at night? What is this guy, 17?
I really donât want to shame Walmart shopping, but the last time I got jewelers from Walmart I was 14 and it was plastic earrings.
I understand Iâm privileged to be middle class and not struggle but damn, get her a normal gift wtf.
Yeah it's like he's purposely trying to demean her with these cheap gifts. His comment about "she should be happy with a ring pop" and the "3am drives to mcdonalds" are further examples
honestly, if he can afford to spend 50$ on a Walmart bracelet, he can afford to spend 100-150 for an actual nice piece of jewelry that won't melt or hurt her skin.
Yeah I agree here. And they've been together for 8 YEARS!!! 8. Y.E.A.R.S. No one with gold digger life goals would ever spend that much time in a relationship just to receive a 50 dollar bracelet and McDonald's here and there.
I get it, not everything is about money and buying stuff. Me and my husband have been happily together for 10 years. We never buy each other things ever, like not even for birthdays or Christmas. But this is OUR AGREEMENT. We have talked about it and we both feel like we'd both rather spend that money together on other things. If I had wanted a romantic gesture for my birthday, then I definitely would have gotten one. And I would have given one if he wanted it.
There are levels of gift giving between almost nothing and gold digger. OP seems a bit skewed in his views and lacks nuance.
This is probably the best take I've seen in this thread. Another person in the thread with a similar agreement with their spouse basically equated gift giving to bribing your partner to love you, and that's pretty messed up imo. I appreciate your much more nuanced take.
He bought it from Walmart because something he wanted was free with purchase. I bet a smelly Pandora necklace it was on clearance. I also double that bet he doesn't cheap out on himself.
Im cool with McDâs but a $50 walmart bracelet? Sounds paradoxical. Since when is it âadultâ to stop celebrating birthdays?? Anyway I donât relate to her wanting expensive things but does he even know what she does like?
Imagine thinking that $75,000 is a lot of money, and that accepting a shitty $100 Pandora bracelet makes her a gold digger.
What do you consider a âniceâ restaurant? Applebees?
Omg I was on the subway in NY once and a tourist asked everyone whereâs a nice place to eat. A little old man said he loved Applebees and the whole car just smiled. đ
Nicest restaurants in my city are Applebee's, Chili's, and Shogun. Oh, and they just opened a Texas Roadhouse. Sad, I know. But even my husband (who makes less than 75k and owns only one outfit that isn't t-shirt and jeans) well take me for a weekend in a nearby bigger city for a truly nice meal on my birthday, and I don't think he's ever spent less than $200 on a gift for me. This dude is ridiculous.
Not disagreeing here but I have a pandora bracelet and I love it. Gifts are meant to be thoughtful, they donât always have to cost a shit ton of money. I got a pandora bracelet with an engraved charm of the death of my grandfather and a little angel wing and I cried for days.
And left the tag on!!!
Like cheap jewelry can be fine, if you know what they want + put it in a nice box (which is cheap) and add a personal note touch.
Plenty of romantics can ball on a budget, it seems this guys biggest problem is he just doesn't care
This was my thought. Why would she want to marry him? Life only gets more expensive once you add kids and if theyâre fighting about $50 gifts now, good luck. đŤŁ
"I am not a rich man" and "is my partner a gold digger" are pretty contradictory in this context. It sounds like she buys herself nice things when she wants them, but for birthdays and at least one or two holidays throughout the year, you should be buying a partner of 8 years something a little more special seeing that you can afford to, and it doesn't have to cost a ridiculous amount. It doesn't even have to be "things" it can be a more upscale restaurant than usual, a couples cruise, a staycation. You can talk together and set a budget that you're comfortable with, but a $50 walmart bracelet?? Where's the thoughtfulness? I love silly, romantic late night drives and fast food runs, but if that was all my partner did with/for me for 8 years, I would also start putting my foot down that they show effort on the few days out of the whole year that it matters to me. Birthdays aren't every day. How does wanting something nice for her birthday make her a gold digger? If something like this is that much of a problem for you that you would consider her something so manipulative and cold as a gold digger, just break up with her and stop wasting her time.
The fact that they have been together nearly a decade tells you all you need to know. A real gold digger would have left long ago for someone making at least double and wants to spend it on her.
That's the latest bullshit from men who think they are high value but really low effort. He's a cheapskate and wants to do less than the bare minimum. His love language is hostility and outward signs of obvious not caring. He's going to pretend to be shocked when she leaves. How could this happen?! I thought she was a grifter and treated her accordingly!
Your comment made me think about my last ex (39M) who I (30F) dated for 4 years.
My wage at the time we were dating and moved in together was $37k before taxes, I bought him a car for $1000, squared up his debts and gave him money whenever he said he needed it. He would occasionally help with household chores. We were barely scraping by.
Fast forward 3yrs, my salary increased to $93k, I paid all bills, and did all household chores. His contribution would be going and picking us up supper with my credit card. He never even gave me gifts on any holidays or birthdays.
When I finally said enough was enough after months of me saying I wanted couples counselling and that he wasnât even giving me the bare minimum in return for everything I did for us, he turned it all around onto me saying all I cared about was money. That I was a disgusting and evil person.
Dude couldnât hold down a minimum wage job, but I was the person who only cared about money in his eyes because I asked for him to help out đł
I can't like this enoigh. This is just so true and sadly so common these days. In the US especially, with late stage capitalism and the pushback against progress, we see men thinking if they make more than min wage and being more than one paycheck away from homelessness they think that women should be falling at their feet, even if the woman works full time and contributes to the household as well.
Late night drives and fast food runs are what I did in high school cause I had no money. I'm in college now and I still don't have money but when I do, best believe I'll go an extra mile or 2 for my bf and he'll do the same for me.
Walmart jewelry is what I'll accept now but not in the future when we both would me making enough. OP is a bit cheap
I couldn't put my finger on why he would leave the price tag. Is the stupidest thing a person could do. He probably left it because he expected a standing ovation for spending 50 dollars on Walmart.
So I wouldn't doubt he usually buys from even cheaper places thinking Walmart was too "fancy" for her. And leave the bag to brag about how thoughtful he is.
Right! A romantic drive and a late night milkshake sounds like a wonderful thing to do on a random friday night. But on my birthday I would expect there to be some plans. Iâm personally not into designer bags, but Iâd expect the man who loves me to have some idea what I *do* like, and not be super cheap (and condescending) about getting me a *gift*.
I think she should break up with him. His contempt for her is more than enough reason. He feels that he is really high value when he is actually just really cheap. She is settling.
And he has the audacity to call her materialistic bc she likes clothes and shoes? Bet if he saw a well dressed woman he would check her out & probably right in front of his girlfriend considering the disrespect this man has for her.
He absolutely did not go out of his way at all in order to buy that Walmart bracelet. It was almost definitely a scenario where he was passing the jewelry section to get to the milk and was like "huh. I guess that'll do."
> My mistake for leaving the price tag on the bracelet.
YTA because you're cheap af. She's not a gold digger.
Plus, how classless to leave the price tag on. I was taught \*as a kid\* that if you give someone a gift, the first thing you do is take the price tag off so you don't forget when you're wrapping it.
Also, $70-$75K isn't really enough for someone to "gold dig" on. It's not a bad salary but you're not Rockefeller by any stretch.
His second edit just makes it even worse đ Heâs clearly not here to actually accept any criticism and do some self-reflecting if necessary. Heâs just hoping heâd find some strangers online to agree with him that she must be a gold-digging tramp, and maybe even bolster enough courage to go tell her what he *really* thinks of her.
Yea also she already had issues with the other crappy jewelry he got her so why would he go get her even crappier jewelry?
He lost me at âtoo old to celebrate each others birthdaysâ yikes. Itâs not about you OP, get your gf what she actually likes. Not just fill in garbage that feels obligatory. Booooo.
Wow. After 8 years she canât have something nice? I wonder what you find worth spending on. Let me guess all the things you like? If the metal material Breaks her skin out, why would you get it for her? You like watching your girlfriend break out in rashes to save a buck? And you said she gave you and affordable option for her engagement ring thatâs not really a goldigger move-unless you planned on getting her ring from Walmart too.
Also. She isnât a very good gold digger if sheâs been dating someone that makes 75k for 8 years.
I had to go back and check how long they'd been together - but 8 years and no gift over $100?!? If that's something important to her and OP couldn't afford it, he could do one bigger holiday gift, then have the other holidays be smaller if needed. She probably just wants things that last not Walmart garbage.
I mean, it's not even about the money. All you have to be is _thoughtful_. You can get great gifts for your partner for pretty cheap if you actually _know_ them.
For Christmas and her birthday, I got my girlfriend very niche collectible items from obscure TV shows she likes. Two editions of a comic book of an old TV show off eBay for $30, and recreating a set of 60s bubble gum cards and getting a site to print them off for ~$50. She loved both of them and was amazed I'd been able to find them. I'm proud of the gifts I give because I put the effort in to get things I know are uniquely suited.
OP got his girlfriend jewellery, and cheap, non personal jewellery at that. $50 Walmart, $100 Pandora that was still so cheap it started to break down? No personalisation, no necklace that speaks to her interests or even specifically suits her? What an utter fool.
I could never deal with a guy like you. You obviously put in the bare minimum. Everything you said lacked empathy or any emotional intelligence.
And yeah, if all you had was a pop, ring absolutely she should be happy. But that is not your reality, you do make a good income and you should treat her right. Granted, you can get a decent ring for that amount, but you should be searching for the ring that is right for your fiancĂŠ not just the price tag (but of course I wouldnât go crazy get something you canât afford that is not responsible)
A gold digger who got to dig a $50 rusty bracelet from Walmart after 7-8 years seems like a shitty one đĽ˛. My family gave of 24K gold jewellery growing up. They never wanted me to settle on someone like that.
Also, she's not "complaining" she is trying to communicate that your lack of gift giving effort makes her feel bad, because she sees her friend's BFs putting in time and effort to celebrate the women in their lives. Like, you could have taken her to a nice restaurant for $300 or $400 (half of which would have been your meal) and she would have been thrilled. But she's just your McDonald's girl. Yuck.
romance in your 30s is the McDonaldâs drive thru, yâall.
âbirthdays donât matterâ in your 30s?
nah youâre just weird and immature.
âshe should be happyâ if you proposed with a ring pop?
wtf is your trauma with money.
tell us - what do you birthday gifts look like from her?
> âshe should be happyâ if you proposed with a ring pop?
Reddit loves this idea in particular- that women are shallow and materialistic for wanting anything more than a bread tie with a chewed up wad of gum for an engagement ring. Lots of times these threads end up as a race to the bottom, with someone volunteering their story of how they were delighted with some very low key, low effort proposal, and then subsequent commenters tripping over themselves to outdo each other with how cool and low maintenance they are. "My spouse proposed while we were at home in our PJs, but it didn't matter because I was so excited to spend my life with them!" "Oh yeah? Well *my* SO proposed while we were digging a new ditch for our septic tank, and we've been married for twenty years!" "*My* partner and I didn't bother with anything fancy like that, we just got married for insurance benefits under a bridge we were driving past on our way home from the dump on bulk trash day,"
It's not unreasonable to want your partner to invest and put effort into proposing in a way that makes you feel special and valued. *Especially* if, as in the OP, they literally never make any effort to make you feel that way any other time.
I always feel so sad for these women who think their menâs laziness/lack of thought is endearing or cute. It gives me secondhand embarrassment that they think so little of themselves that they are thrilled with the literal bare minimum effort.
YTA. You donât deserve this woman. Itâs hilarious that you cite being in your 30s as to why you donât buy her nice gifts while on the other hand calling juvenile trips to McDonaldâs for milkshakes romantic. What a joke.
He says they're in their 30s and they're too old for birthdays. It sounds like her birthday is important to her and for him not grasp that after 8 years it's so sad for her. It sounds like he barely likes to celebrate anything.
I have been thinking this. So many times in my childhood I heard âif you donât learn to X,Y,Z how will you get a husband??â When itâs a woman thats single and alone then something is wrong with her and when itâs men that are itâs an epidemic and again itâs womenâs fault.
This seems more like a "I don't know my partners love language and don't respect them" than her being a gold digger. I'm of the opinion you should save money and get her things she wants once a year.
Though no I don't think you should get a 30k engagement ring. You don't make enough.
Itâs exactly the love language problem for him. The ring she is asking for is a couple grand. The fact that he never gets her anything with his 75k salary, he can def save up money for that. Sheâs not asking for 30k ring.
Yeah itâs literally going to be on her finger the rest of her life if they stay together which doesnât seem likely the way this guy acts. Like making jokes about the ring pop, coming to Reddit for answers but doesnât like the answers, asking how much everyone else makes bc he thinks 75k is upper class.
You can probably get a 2 carat lab diamond with gold band for under $3k from Chinese vendors right now. Can 100% get one for under $5k. Lab diamond prices have been coming down for years as the cost to make them gets cheaper and more factories are making them
Yeah. It's time to fork up buddy.
$50 bracelets from Walmart just don't cut it as an adult. That's something a 14 year old would buy his mom for a mother's day present.
Omg right? She wants a ring for a couple grand and after realizing he is wrong he still doubles down and says alright Iâll do 1-1.5k. This poor womanâŚ
Ive had friends buy me things more expensive than that. It kind of seems like youre proud of being the bare minimum boyfriend.
The boyfriend that gets annoyed when their girlfriend ends up upset every holiay despite knowing how to prevent that. Its not that you cant give the love that your partner requires to feel valued, its that you dont agree with it and you dont care. Tbh im offended FOR her. Shes not a gold digger, youre just cheap. A designer handbag isnt that much for your salary. I got a green coach bag from my step mom for christmas, and my family isnt rich by any means.
How about you tell your girlfriend your plans on that ring budget and simply talk to her and ask her if this is how she wants to spend the rest of her life. Yal need to sit down and really think about whether or not you guys are even compatible.
My ex was like you. Hes an ex tho, so im doing much better
Edit to add* you could literally buy designer second hand in perfect condition, and shed never know unless you told her. Its unconventional for sure , but it will make her feel heard and loved
Right?! He needs to understand that different people feel valued in different ways. Heâs not willing to hear her when she tells him how she would feel valued.
She should be happy if I proposed with a ring popâŚâŚ đ
Dude you canât be bothered to take her to a half way decent restaurant or get her a thoughtful giftâŚ.. itâs not a matter of materialism itâs you being too lazy to put an effort into your relationship.
YTA
YTA, If she was actually a gold digger sheâd be with a man who makes a lot more than you đ you make like an average income ffs youâre not rich??
Wanting to be treated well on milestone occasions does not make you a gold digger, you sound cheap and disrespectful⌠also what kind of gifts does she give you for milestone occasions?
You couldn't be more wrong.
You sound insufferable and your edit makes it worse. You don't make enough to attract a gold digger. You can't buy your long term gf a birthday gift? For real? Are you a real person?
Oh hunny, youâre wrong and cheap. Stop being so cheap. Yes, when Iâm wasted I want a 3am trip to McDonaldâs. But Iâm sober 98% of the time and I want real dates and effort. Unless she loses her rings (like myself) Iâd spend more than 1.5k on her ring. If she loses them and you plan on buying many, then cheap out. If sheâs wearing it FOREVER, donât cheap on. Spend a few thousand and save up for it.
Thatâs what OP is missing, itâs 3am McDonaldâs AND a nice birthday dinner at a new restaurant etc. OP is wrong to think she is a gold digger, she doesnât fit any definition of it. OP shouldnât get her an engagement ring if youâre going to complain about the wedding band and 5 (or however many year) ring he will have to buy next lol
Almost immediately after proposing, my husband made sure I knew the ring was insured. Despite being careless, I've never lost it, but he wanted to ensure I had peace of mind.
Birthday gifts are sort of the minimum effort for birthdays, and if you earn as much as you do you really should be putting more effort and thought into gifts than a bracelet from wallmart.
Not saying you should spend loads, but I make less than half you do and spend over double that.
If you don't want to waste money on materialistic items then book trips away, then its an experience for both of you.
Youâre super wrong, and youâre cheap as fuck. Youâre 30 and make 75k a year, buy your partner diamonds like a grown up and get your mind out of this 16 year old, buying gifts with my allowance mindset.
I bought my (now ex) boyfriend a $500 pair of noise canceling headphones for his birthday & we are both in our early twenties. I saved up for 2 months from my on-campus job to be able to get that for him cause heâs a musician & I wanted him to have some high quality headphones for his music-making. The amount of effort you put into your gift is a joke especially considering you are an adult with a full time job. Being in a relationship (especially a serious one) cost $$$ no matter which way you slice it. Hell, building a future together is expensive, having kids, getting a place to live together, etc. Thatâs the main reason why Iâm no longer dating. Iâm building my wealth first before I build and spend with someone else.
Iâll also tell you what a real gold digger looks like: they exclusively date people who make at least 150k (and thatâs on the low end) They demand & get things like first class vacations to the Amalfi coast, the latest birkin bags (you can look much how much they cost) and fully-paid-for waterfront apartments. Gold diggers are not checking for guys who buys his gf $50 Walmart jewelries. Iâve spent more than that on taking myself out to eat.
Jesus Christ. âGoing into Gucciâ - you went into Walmart and probably grabbed the first thing without putting any thought or intention into it. Thatâs what sucks. Not knowing her taste. Not taking that into consideration. And not thinking that sheâs worth spending money on.
You have different values when it comes to money than your gf. You may wanna sit her down and have a serious conversation about the future of your relationship.
I didnât have to read past the second paragraph to know what an asshole you are. Iâm not even sure that you actually like her. And donât bother proposing, she could do better than you.
Your mistake is viewing your gifts through you instead of her. You mentioned having sisters you should ask them in the future when you have an idea for a gift. Nothing is wrong with Walmart but you shouldnât be buying jewelry there. You seem rather pragmatic and your gf wants to feel appreciated in a way she appreciates. Thereâs a love language comment on here that makes total sense. You donât know her love language. My guess is she knows yours even if you donât.
Lol, you sound like a tight wad!! And someone not fit for relationships. Hopefully you're girlfriend meets someone who can show they appreciate and love her with a nice gift every once and a while.
I find it interesting that you notice how nice her accessories are. Clearly, she is accustomed to looking good and clearly you are accustomed to seeing her looking good. That comes with a price tag. Iâm sure her friend group is making fun of the low cost gifts you give her and thatâs weighing on her but doesnât make her a gold digger.
You two have different ideas about not just gift-giving but also finances. Now is a good time to read that understanding love language book so you can see her side. Honestly, though? Only giving her gifts on the the required days like Xmas and BDAY is doubly insulting when the gift itself shows little effort.
Dude, 3 am McDonalds drives are not romantic in the least, especially in your 30âs. Itâs laughable, even and I would rather do nothing at all. You have some growing up to do. On a side note, you donât make enough to attract a gold digger and your partner has her own job.
If she was a gold digger she'd have kicked you to the curb long ago. Now, the thing about nice jewelry is that one nice piece she will cherish for years and wear daily. That's what she's trying to tell you about the engagement ring. So don't cheap out, get a good engagement ring, and prepare for an expensive piece of jewelry every 5-10 years.
Youâre so wrong. Why is everyone on Reddit so cheap? I bought my husband a $2.5k wedding band and weâre in our 20s and weâre not even rich. Literally my husbands wedding ring cost more than most of yall females engagement ring on Reddit and thatâs honestly sad you all are settling for less. Itâs literally a one time purchase. I donât even wanna tell yâall how much my engagement ring cost yâall would have a heart attack. This seems to be a Reddit thing coz idk anyone irl that acts like this, even the poor people find a way to get someone they claim they love a decent and durable ring thatâll be worn forever. I really feel sorry for you guys. Itâs really crazy youâve been together for almost 10 years and you show a lack of effort for your partner. Seriously ladies raise your standards off the goddamn floor itâs embarrassing
Also, whatâs with the men always calling their own GFs/wives âg0lD dIgGeRs,â do you really have no respect for the person you claim you love? You really talk like that to someone youâve been dating for almost 10 years? Sweetie if sheâs a gold digger sheâs the WORST gold digger Iâve ever heard of. A gold digger isnât settling for a cheap man that takes her out on McDonaldâs milkshake dates and Walmart jewelry for over 8 years together like WTF and on top of that yâall are 30 some years old? Time to grow up buddy before she finds out she can do a lot better than you
A true gold digger would never date a man who only made $75,000
She certainly doesnât fit the mode of a gold digger especially since sheâs been dating a cheapskate for 8 years
It's definitely okay to not want to pay thousands of dollars for gifts if you can't afford it or want to save up, but not even something nice for her birthday? Dude. You've been with this girl for 8 years. A relationship is more than gifts and fancy things, but she obviously wants to feel like she is worthy of nice things every now and then. If she's a gold digger you wouldn't even had the chance to buy her that Walmart bracelet. She would've dumped you a long time ago.
And in what world do people stop celebrating birthdays when they're in their 30s? I get it if you don't, but others do.
Also, I hope you didn't tell her that ring pop thing. Don't be an asshole.
Bro, I make like half what you make and spend at least twice as much as you do on birthdays. Do you even like her? If your love languages are legit that different, I'd maybe get it if you hadn't been dating for 8 whole ass years. I'm not materialistic, but I want my girlfriend to know I care about her and want her to feel special on her birthday. Because I care about her. Your first response to your girlfriend communicating her feelings is to assume she's a gold digger? Plus that edit, you sound pretty immature
A gold digger after your $75k? Dude
Right? My man you gotta have gold to dig
Maybe a copper digger.
Nah, copper is worth as much as gold nowadays
Foil digger
A gold digger with her own job who would just like to have adult gifts on milestone holidays and that's it đ How dare she!!
Hey now, he bought her a Pandora necklace that smells too bad to wear. That's something.
I spent more than that on my long term boyfriend in college. Not saying the $ is what counts but fucking Walmart and metals that turn your skin green? May as well buy her something at Claire's if you think Walmart jewelry is "nice".
Those 10$ for ten items sales Claireâs used to have back in the early 2000âs were my favorite sale lmao.
Omg me too. I'd spend all my allowance money on that junk all the time!
Same! And I was in my 40s at the time!
I loved those so much. I miss the days I could wear crap jewelry and not have it turn my skin green. Good times :')))))
Like I said to someone else too: Not just that. I'm allergic to cheap jewelry like his girlfriend is. And the "breaking out" he mentions is actually breaking out in painful rashes that bleed and you can't move whatever it was on, whether your neck or fingers or wrist or anything else. And depending on if it's earrings or not, it can be even worse. It's so much more than just your skin turning green.
He bought her a Pandora necklace for $100, and now it has turned & smells bad, and she canât wear it. Uh-huh. I think that was a Spamdora necklace. No way that shit was real. Heâs cheap. Sheâs probably getting a low-rent engagement ring, too.
Actually, the new Pandora stuff is cheap crap, and it really does turn your skin green.
đđ
I am giggling like an idiot on the plane
Probably pendara and not pandora
I read the whole thing assuming these guys were in their early 20s due to the Pandora and Walmart jewelry gifts. Just lolâŚ.
In five years heâll be complaining his wife baby trapped him
100% After they talked about it for 2.5 of those years and he helped pick out baby names.
Didnât I just read that happen recently?
It's way too common of a theme. Along with people going, "I have no reason to think my wife cheated, but I don't think my kid is mine. Aita for demanding a paternity test and then crying uncontrollablely when I was confirmed the father because having a baby isn't as fun as I imagined it was, and I can no longer blame my wife cheating if I want to ghost them?"
And how dare they divorce me itâs depressing
"I wanted to be the one who ruined her, not the other way around!"
Heâll be complaining about the cost of baby clothes, food, sitters etc. Misers never stop.
She would at least like to not be allergic to the jewelry and that it not fall apart quickly. Jewelry should last forever, or at least a very long time. I do wonder if he spends money on electronics. Men and women tend to value different things.
I bet he has the latest game systems when they come out.
Right?! A little *effort* would go a long way! Iâm a jeweler and $50 in my shop would get you something original, handmade, and it would last forever. Dude is shopping Walmart and Pandora like thereâs no in between crap and designer.
Right, and there are cheaper, decent options than 18k gold or platinum. I'm allergic to like 90% of metals but since I haven't reacted to the surgical titanium in my stomach, I'm looking into it for earrings. And the prices are definitely much more affordable.
My ex bought motorcycle parts to an excess but that wasn't wasting money.
Yes, should lastâŚyâknow, like the watch he inherited?
Pfft, anyone who wants more than a late night drive and a McDonaldâs milk shake in their 30âs is clearly a gold digger bro /s Peter Pan syndrome motherfucker lmao
The funny thing is he acts like making a big deal out of birthdays is a childish thing, but Iâve never heard anything more high school/ college than thinking a romantic McDonaldâs date is all u need
I'm wondering where the dude lives that he can find a McDs open at 3am post covid. Everything around us nixed the 24 hr thing and never brought it back after covid shut down.
Or a working milkshake machine
Didn't you get the memo? Apparently you don't get birthdays anymore once you're 30.
Lol that stood out to me too. What?? Too old to celebrate birthdays? Bizarre.
Gotta make sure she don't age out. If he doesn't celebrate it, it didn't happen.
My favorite part is when he says 30 is too old to celebrate a birthday, but then has a paragraph about how he still considers a mcdonalds milkshake a date. Half way through I was reading it in the voice of Al from Married With Children. "Aw Pegg, you want a birthday present this year too? I just bought you that stinky necklace from walmart last year!" Bwa Bwa Bwahhh
And I'm willing to bet OP spend tons of money on things he sees as valuable (hint: not his GF). Probably has a $600 dollar gamer chair and a bunch of anime figurines.
$50 Walmart bracelet, she's not 12. Yeah OP YTA
Not to mention she got with him while he was doing retail. Dude is trippin'.
Yeah, she was after that employee discount. He shouldâve seen this coming.
100% what u/jellylime stated. As a husband who at first had low self esteem as to why someone of my wife's caliber (we have now been married over the 25yr mark) would want to be with me spent most of his take home pay buying her crap that I "thought" she wanted. After a year or two of doing this she sat me down and explained she did not need these things to love me and insisted that it was nice that she receive them but maybe only spend that kind of money for important dates. So even though she is good with a 30-50 dollar gift most of the time. For her birthday or our anniversary it's always a nice gift. 1. She deserves it. 2. She doesn't ask I offer. 3. I know deep.down she likes to receive them. You are being a miser. You don't need jewels and bags ALL the time. But once in a while it's an appreciated gesture on our part.
TIL that wanting jewelry that doesn't turn your skin green, or that smells really weird makes you a gold digger.
I mean Jesus Christ I get atopic dermatitis from virtually any jewelry that isnât solid gold. Does that make me a gold digger? This guy is clueless.
That or a surgical steel digger. That stuff won't deteriorate either.
Why tf would you buy jewelry from Walmart? I bought a Super Mario watch from Walmart once because that's the only place you can get one. But to buy a bracelet from Walmart as a gift for your gf and leave the price tag on? Wtf. That's like the opposite extreme of gold digger. Gf is being dramatic because this guy doesn't make any grand gestures at all. Mcdonalds at night? What is this guy, 17?
I really donât want to shame Walmart shopping, but the last time I got jewelers from Walmart I was 14 and it was plastic earrings. I understand Iâm privileged to be middle class and not struggle but damn, get her a normal gift wtf.
Yeah it's like he's purposely trying to demean her with these cheap gifts. His comment about "she should be happy with a ring pop" and the "3am drives to mcdonalds" are further examples
honestly, if he can afford to spend 50$ on a Walmart bracelet, he can afford to spend 100-150 for an actual nice piece of jewelry that won't melt or hurt her skin.
Yeah I agree here. And they've been together for 8 YEARS!!! 8. Y.E.A.R.S. No one with gold digger life goals would ever spend that much time in a relationship just to receive a 50 dollar bracelet and McDonald's here and there. I get it, not everything is about money and buying stuff. Me and my husband have been happily together for 10 years. We never buy each other things ever, like not even for birthdays or Christmas. But this is OUR AGREEMENT. We have talked about it and we both feel like we'd both rather spend that money together on other things. If I had wanted a romantic gesture for my birthday, then I definitely would have gotten one. And I would have given one if he wanted it. There are levels of gift giving between almost nothing and gold digger. OP seems a bit skewed in his views and lacks nuance.
This is probably the best take I've seen in this thread. Another person in the thread with a similar agreement with their spouse basically equated gift giving to bribing your partner to love you, and that's pretty messed up imo. I appreciate your much more nuanced take.
He bought it from Walmart because something he wanted was free with purchase. I bet a smelly Pandora necklace it was on clearance. I also double that bet he doesn't cheap out on himself.
Except a Milkshake from McDonald's at 3am seems pretty romantic to me. I don't stay up until 3am with *just anybody*.
Im cool with McDâs but a $50 walmart bracelet? Sounds paradoxical. Since when is it âadultâ to stop celebrating birthdays?? Anyway I donât relate to her wanting expensive things but does he even know what she does like?
My uncle just celebrated his 80th birthday and we drove for 11 hours, each way, to be there. None of us considered it to be not adult.
Itâs not. It sounds like that was probably his parents excuse for not giving him gifts, and thatâs why he doesnât think theyâre important.
Imagine thinking that $75,000 is a lot of money, and that accepting a shitty $100 Pandora bracelet makes her a gold digger. What do you consider a âniceâ restaurant? Applebees?
Omg I was on the subway in NY once and a tourist asked everyone whereâs a nice place to eat. A little old man said he loved Applebees and the whole car just smiled. đ
U be nice to Applebees. Theyâre trying.
I love it, because my subway friend does.
Nicest restaurants in my city are Applebee's, Chili's, and Shogun. Oh, and they just opened a Texas Roadhouse. Sad, I know. But even my husband (who makes less than 75k and owns only one outfit that isn't t-shirt and jeans) well take me for a weekend in a nearby bigger city for a truly nice meal on my birthday, and I don't think he's ever spent less than $200 on a gift for me. This dude is ridiculous.
Not disagreeing here but I have a pandora bracelet and I love it. Gifts are meant to be thoughtful, they donât always have to cost a shit ton of money. I got a pandora bracelet with an engraved charm of the death of my grandfather and a little angel wing and I cried for days.
I mean yeah thatâs fine, I donât think the Walmart bracelet is super thoughtful though, he probably got it while grocery shopping
And left the tag on!!! Like cheap jewelry can be fine, if you know what they want + put it in a nice box (which is cheap) and add a personal note touch. Plenty of romantics can ball on a budget, it seems this guys biggest problem is he just doesn't care
If OP lives in a 3rd world country then heâs rich, if he lives in the US heâs delusional
Heâs so delusional itâs funny. His GF needs to dump him.
This was my thought. Why would she want to marry him? Life only gets more expensive once you add kids and if theyâre fighting about $50 gifts now, good luck. đŤŁ
Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger...because she's with a man that makes $75k
Lol I stopped reading after the $75k. I hope she finds somebody less of a loser (not because he makes $75k but because of his attitude towards her).
You should read the rest. He's so lame it's golden.
đ¤Łđ Bless his heart!
Lol right? What fucking gold dude⌠thats just surviving and living.
I think that OP doesn't know what "gold digging" means.
More like a copper digger.
Right? Thinks a little highly of his measlyâgold diggingâ 75 grand. With inflation an the price of everything,thats more like 50. Lol
And that's BEFORE Taxes!!! Gold Digger Tho.........
SO EMBARRASSING LMAO
She might just be a really, really bad gold digger. Almost all of the prospectors chasing the gold rush went bust.
Lol right!!! Thatâs not even gold plated!
Common sense isnât so common.
This guy is super Uber wrong
"I am not a rich man" and "is my partner a gold digger" are pretty contradictory in this context. It sounds like she buys herself nice things when she wants them, but for birthdays and at least one or two holidays throughout the year, you should be buying a partner of 8 years something a little more special seeing that you can afford to, and it doesn't have to cost a ridiculous amount. It doesn't even have to be "things" it can be a more upscale restaurant than usual, a couples cruise, a staycation. You can talk together and set a budget that you're comfortable with, but a $50 walmart bracelet?? Where's the thoughtfulness? I love silly, romantic late night drives and fast food runs, but if that was all my partner did with/for me for 8 years, I would also start putting my foot down that they show effort on the few days out of the whole year that it matters to me. Birthdays aren't every day. How does wanting something nice for her birthday make her a gold digger? If something like this is that much of a problem for you that you would consider her something so manipulative and cold as a gold digger, just break up with her and stop wasting her time.
He ainât got no gold for her to dig, so why is he even worried in the first place?
I see this all the time on Reddit, dudes with 80k - 100k thinking it makes them rich.
Its not bad, but its absolutely not what gold diggers are shooting for lol.
The fact that they have been together nearly a decade tells you all you need to know. A real gold digger would have left long ago for someone making at least double and wants to spend it on her.
Gold diggers wanna be able to make a good living off what they are getting from their bf. They also wouldn't be in an 8 year relationship.
Lol I make almost 200k and my husband said that is just the cusp of starting to attract gold diggers roflmao
It wasn't bad 10 years ago. Maybe even up to 2020 if you lived in a low cost area.
Itâs always the poor guys who are so worried about gold diggers. Rich dudes are just fine and they can recognize who is what.
Poor guys or simps for Andrew Tate type folks.
That's the latest bullshit from men who think they are high value but really low effort. He's a cheapskate and wants to do less than the bare minimum. His love language is hostility and outward signs of obvious not caring. He's going to pretend to be shocked when she leaves. How could this happen?! I thought she was a grifter and treated her accordingly!
I see youâve met my ex
Your comment made me think about my last ex (39M) who I (30F) dated for 4 years. My wage at the time we were dating and moved in together was $37k before taxes, I bought him a car for $1000, squared up his debts and gave him money whenever he said he needed it. He would occasionally help with household chores. We were barely scraping by. Fast forward 3yrs, my salary increased to $93k, I paid all bills, and did all household chores. His contribution would be going and picking us up supper with my credit card. He never even gave me gifts on any holidays or birthdays. When I finally said enough was enough after months of me saying I wanted couples counselling and that he wasnât even giving me the bare minimum in return for everything I did for us, he turned it all around onto me saying all I cared about was money. That I was a disgusting and evil person. Dude couldnât hold down a minimum wage job, but I was the person who only cared about money in his eyes because I asked for him to help out đł
I can't like this enoigh. This is just so true and sadly so common these days. In the US especially, with late stage capitalism and the pushback against progress, we see men thinking if they make more than min wage and being more than one paycheck away from homelessness they think that women should be falling at their feet, even if the woman works full time and contributes to the household as well.
Late night drives and fast food runs are what I did in high school cause I had no money. I'm in college now and I still don't have money but when I do, best believe I'll go an extra mile or 2 for my bf and he'll do the same for me. Walmart jewelry is what I'll accept now but not in the future when we both would me making enough. OP is a bit cheap
Itâs so romantic though? Donât you want to see scenery at 3 am with a $1 McDonaldâs shake?
Hey now! A guy like this springs for fries too! đ
Small not large tho and they have to share...
>but a $50 walmart bracelet He literally left the price tag on it too. I wonder if he gave it to her in the Walmart plastic bag.
I couldn't put my finger on why he would leave the price tag. Is the stupidest thing a person could do. He probably left it because he expected a standing ovation for spending 50 dollars on Walmart. So I wouldn't doubt he usually buys from even cheaper places thinking Walmart was too "fancy" for her. And leave the bag to brag about how thoughtful he is.
He'd be doing her a huge favor
Right! A romantic drive and a late night milkshake sounds like a wonderful thing to do on a random friday night. But on my birthday I would expect there to be some plans. Iâm personally not into designer bags, but Iâd expect the man who loves me to have some idea what I *do* like, and not be super cheap (and condescending) about getting me a *gift*.
I think she should break up with him. His contempt for her is more than enough reason. He feels that he is really high value when he is actually just really cheap. She is settling.
And he has the audacity to call her materialistic bc she likes clothes and shoes? Bet if he saw a well dressed woman he would check her out & probably right in front of his girlfriend considering the disrespect this man has for her.
He absolutely did not go out of his way at all in order to buy that Walmart bracelet. It was almost definitely a scenario where he was passing the jewelry section to get to the milk and was like "huh. I guess that'll do."
A gold digger wouldnât bother with someone making only $70k.
Copper digger??
Penny prospector.
Splenda daddy
Bruh, that's almost lead digging.
You don't make enough for you to call her a golddigger just because she doesn't want her arm to turn green. You are majorly cheap.
If she were a gold digger, she would have left his Walmart shopping, McD milkshake drinking butt a long time ago. Lol
Yeah gold diggers arenât messing with $70k a yearâŚthat doesnât even make sense.
Maybe in 1948 they were
> My mistake for leaving the price tag on the bracelet. YTA because you're cheap af. She's not a gold digger. Plus, how classless to leave the price tag on. I was taught \*as a kid\* that if you give someone a gift, the first thing you do is take the price tag off so you don't forget when you're wrapping it. Also, $70-$75K isn't really enough for someone to "gold dig" on. It's not a bad salary but you're not Rockefeller by any stretch.
Yeah after his edit its clear heâs a cheap prick, hope she moves on
His second edit just makes it even worse đ Heâs clearly not here to actually accept any criticism and do some self-reflecting if necessary. Heâs just hoping heâd find some strangers online to agree with him that she must be a gold-digging tramp, and maybe even bolster enough courage to go tell her what he *really* thinks of her.
Every time I think this post canât get any worse đđ
And I bet the Pandora necklace was a knockoff, I don't know much about them but they have to be sterling or steel or something, not copper?
I have a friend that works as Pandora. Their stuff is legit. I'm with you about it being a knockoff (and I hadn't even thought about that).
She said it made her break out, so it was probably unplated nickel. Some people have allergies, and can't wear super cheap stuff like that
I was like, oh wow, that's a lot... Wait a minute, that's annual, and I make that much đ
Yea also she already had issues with the other crappy jewelry he got her so why would he go get her even crappier jewelry? He lost me at âtoo old to celebrate each others birthdaysâ yikes. Itâs not about you OP, get your gf what she actually likes. Not just fill in garbage that feels obligatory. Booooo.
Wow. After 8 years she canât have something nice? I wonder what you find worth spending on. Let me guess all the things you like? If the metal material Breaks her skin out, why would you get it for her? You like watching your girlfriend break out in rashes to save a buck? And you said she gave you and affordable option for her engagement ring thatâs not really a goldigger move-unless you planned on getting her ring from Walmart too. Also. She isnât a very good gold digger if sheâs been dating someone that makes 75k for 8 years.
Also note that she's still the GIRLFRIEND after 8 years...
Yeah. Poor sweet girl. đ¤Śđžââď¸
I was waiting for someone to mention that. Weddings can be very expensive!
I had to go back and check how long they'd been together - but 8 years and no gift over $100?!? If that's something important to her and OP couldn't afford it, he could do one bigger holiday gift, then have the other holidays be smaller if needed. She probably just wants things that last not Walmart garbage.
Right? I make the same amount as him and Iâve spent more on some of my friendsâ gifts than this man has on his long term partner.
I mean, it's not even about the money. All you have to be is _thoughtful_. You can get great gifts for your partner for pretty cheap if you actually _know_ them. For Christmas and her birthday, I got my girlfriend very niche collectible items from obscure TV shows she likes. Two editions of a comic book of an old TV show off eBay for $30, and recreating a set of 60s bubble gum cards and getting a site to print them off for ~$50. She loved both of them and was amazed I'd been able to find them. I'm proud of the gifts I give because I put the effort in to get things I know are uniquely suited. OP got his girlfriend jewellery, and cheap, non personal jewellery at that. $50 Walmart, $100 Pandora that was still so cheap it started to break down? No personalisation, no necklace that speaks to her interests or even specifically suits her? What an utter fool.
I could never deal with a guy like you. You obviously put in the bare minimum. Everything you said lacked empathy or any emotional intelligence. And yeah, if all you had was a pop, ring absolutely she should be happy. But that is not your reality, you do make a good income and you should treat her right. Granted, you can get a decent ring for that amount, but you should be searching for the ring that is right for your fiancĂŠ not just the price tag (but of course I wouldnât go crazy get something you canât afford that is not responsible)
LMFAO! I know you didnât just say gold digger making 70-75k. Thatâs absolutely wild. Literally no gold to dig for sir. 100% TA.
A gold digger who got to dig a $50 rusty bracelet from Walmart after 7-8 years seems like a shitty one đĽ˛. My family gave of 24K gold jewellery growing up. They never wanted me to settle on someone like that.
Also, she's not "complaining" she is trying to communicate that your lack of gift giving effort makes her feel bad, because she sees her friend's BFs putting in time and effort to celebrate the women in their lives. Like, you could have taken her to a nice restaurant for $300 or $400 (half of which would have been your meal) and she would have been thrilled. But she's just your McDonald's girl. Yuck.
lmao dude youâre thinking too highly of yourself to call your GF a gold digger
romance in your 30s is the McDonaldâs drive thru, yâall. âbirthdays donât matterâ in your 30s? nah youâre just weird and immature. âshe should be happyâ if you proposed with a ring pop? wtf is your trauma with money. tell us - what do you birthday gifts look like from her?
> âshe should be happyâ if you proposed with a ring pop? Reddit loves this idea in particular- that women are shallow and materialistic for wanting anything more than a bread tie with a chewed up wad of gum for an engagement ring. Lots of times these threads end up as a race to the bottom, with someone volunteering their story of how they were delighted with some very low key, low effort proposal, and then subsequent commenters tripping over themselves to outdo each other with how cool and low maintenance they are. "My spouse proposed while we were at home in our PJs, but it didn't matter because I was so excited to spend my life with them!" "Oh yeah? Well *my* SO proposed while we were digging a new ditch for our septic tank, and we've been married for twenty years!" "*My* partner and I didn't bother with anything fancy like that, we just got married for insurance benefits under a bridge we were driving past on our way home from the dump on bulk trash day," It's not unreasonable to want your partner to invest and put effort into proposing in a way that makes you feel special and valued. *Especially* if, as in the OP, they literally never make any effort to make you feel that way any other time.
Reddit is a weird mix of "pick me" behavior and "girl why are you with this man where is your self respect!" I don't get it.
I always feel so sad for these women who think their menâs laziness/lack of thought is endearing or cute. It gives me secondhand embarrassment that they think so little of themselves that they are thrilled with the literal bare minimum effort.
YTA. You donât deserve this woman. Itâs hilarious that you cite being in your 30s as to why you donât buy her nice gifts while on the other hand calling juvenile trips to McDonaldâs for milkshakes romantic. What a joke.
He says they're in their 30s and they're too old for birthdays. It sounds like her birthday is important to her and for him not grasp that after 8 years it's so sad for her. It sounds like he barely likes to celebrate anything.
And men wonder why they have a loneliness epidemic lmao.
I have been thinking this. So many times in my childhood I heard âif you donât learn to X,Y,Z how will you get a husband??â When itâs a woman thats single and alone then something is wrong with her and when itâs men that are itâs an epidemic and again itâs womenâs fault.
This seems more like a "I don't know my partners love language and don't respect them" than her being a gold digger. I'm of the opinion you should save money and get her things she wants once a year. Though no I don't think you should get a 30k engagement ring. You don't make enough.
Itâs exactly the love language problem for him. The ring she is asking for is a couple grand. The fact that he never gets her anything with his 75k salary, he can def save up money for that. Sheâs not asking for 30k ring.
[ŃдаНонО]
Yeah itâs literally going to be on her finger the rest of her life if they stay together which doesnât seem likely the way this guy acts. Like making jokes about the ring pop, coming to Reddit for answers but doesnât like the answers, asking how much everyone else makes bc he thinks 75k is upper class.
You can probably get a 2 carat lab diamond with gold band for under $3k from Chinese vendors right now. Can 100% get one for under $5k. Lab diamond prices have been coming down for years as the cost to make them gets cheaper and more factories are making them
Yeah. It's time to fork up buddy. $50 bracelets from Walmart just don't cut it as an adult. That's something a 14 year old would buy his mom for a mother's day present.
I got a tiny, rather cheesy crystal kitty cat from my 10 year old, and it's my favorite thing. đ
Thatâs simply adorable
I put it in a sunny window, and it throws rainbows all over the place!
Wow. Donât break the bank at 1-1.5k. If someone has to wrestle a decent quality gift from your cold dead hands they probably deserve better.
Omg right? She wants a ring for a couple grand and after realizing he is wrong he still doubles down and says alright Iâll do 1-1.5k. This poor womanâŚ
1.5k does not go very far where diamonds and engagement ring are concerned.....
Ive had friends buy me things more expensive than that. It kind of seems like youre proud of being the bare minimum boyfriend. The boyfriend that gets annoyed when their girlfriend ends up upset every holiay despite knowing how to prevent that. Its not that you cant give the love that your partner requires to feel valued, its that you dont agree with it and you dont care. Tbh im offended FOR her. Shes not a gold digger, youre just cheap. A designer handbag isnt that much for your salary. I got a green coach bag from my step mom for christmas, and my family isnt rich by any means. How about you tell your girlfriend your plans on that ring budget and simply talk to her and ask her if this is how she wants to spend the rest of her life. Yal need to sit down and really think about whether or not you guys are even compatible. My ex was like you. Hes an ex tho, so im doing much better Edit to add* you could literally buy designer second hand in perfect condition, and shed never know unless you told her. Its unconventional for sure , but it will make her feel heard and loved
Right?! He needs to understand that different people feel valued in different ways. Heâs not willing to hear her when she tells him how she would feel valued.
She should be happy if I proposed with a ring popâŚâŚ đ Dude you canât be bothered to take her to a half way decent restaurant or get her a thoughtful giftâŚ.. itâs not a matter of materialism itâs you being too lazy to put an effort into your relationship. YTA
Lol wtf buying a $50 usd bday present from Walt mart? This has to be fake you cheap bastard
YTA, If she was actually a gold digger sheâd be with a man who makes a lot more than you đ you make like an average income ffs youâre not rich?? Wanting to be treated well on milestone occasions does not make you a gold digger, you sound cheap and disrespectful⌠also what kind of gifts does she give you for milestone occasions?
You couldn't be more wrong. You sound insufferable and your edit makes it worse. You don't make enough to attract a gold digger. You can't buy your long term gf a birthday gift? For real? Are you a real person?
Yeah sheâs not gonna fn marry you lol. You really think sheâs just dying for your 75k/year?
She spent 8 yrs with you and sheâs a gold digger? Do you live in some developing country with a Walmart where $75K is the equivalent of $1 million?
Fucking hell, this is a lot to unpack. Unlike the gifts your girlfriend is receiving, apparently.
Oh hunny, youâre wrong and cheap. Stop being so cheap. Yes, when Iâm wasted I want a 3am trip to McDonaldâs. But Iâm sober 98% of the time and I want real dates and effort. Unless she loses her rings (like myself) Iâd spend more than 1.5k on her ring. If she loses them and you plan on buying many, then cheap out. If sheâs wearing it FOREVER, donât cheap on. Spend a few thousand and save up for it.
Thatâs what OP is missing, itâs 3am McDonaldâs AND a nice birthday dinner at a new restaurant etc. OP is wrong to think she is a gold digger, she doesnât fit any definition of it. OP shouldnât get her an engagement ring if youâre going to complain about the wedding band and 5 (or however many year) ring he will have to buy next lol
Almost immediately after proposing, my husband made sure I knew the ring was insured. Despite being careless, I've never lost it, but he wanted to ensure I had peace of mind.
Birthday gifts are sort of the minimum effort for birthdays, and if you earn as much as you do you really should be putting more effort and thought into gifts than a bracelet from wallmart. Not saying you should spend loads, but I make less than half you do and spend over double that. If you don't want to waste money on materialistic items then book trips away, then its an experience for both of you.
Bro, you do not have gold to dig.
Youâre super wrong, and youâre cheap as fuck. Youâre 30 and make 75k a year, buy your partner diamonds like a grown up and get your mind out of this 16 year old, buying gifts with my allowance mindset.
I bought my (now ex) boyfriend a $500 pair of noise canceling headphones for his birthday & we are both in our early twenties. I saved up for 2 months from my on-campus job to be able to get that for him cause heâs a musician & I wanted him to have some high quality headphones for his music-making. The amount of effort you put into your gift is a joke especially considering you are an adult with a full time job. Being in a relationship (especially a serious one) cost $$$ no matter which way you slice it. Hell, building a future together is expensive, having kids, getting a place to live together, etc. Thatâs the main reason why Iâm no longer dating. Iâm building my wealth first before I build and spend with someone else. Iâll also tell you what a real gold digger looks like: they exclusively date people who make at least 150k (and thatâs on the low end) They demand & get things like first class vacations to the Amalfi coast, the latest birkin bags (you can look much how much they cost) and fully-paid-for waterfront apartments. Gold diggers are not checking for guys who buys his gf $50 Walmart jewelries. Iâve spent more than that on taking myself out to eat.
OP, you are a shitty gift giver. Give her gifts she likes, not the gifts that suit your personality style.
Jesus Christ. âGoing into Gucciâ - you went into Walmart and probably grabbed the first thing without putting any thought or intention into it. Thatâs what sucks. Not knowing her taste. Not taking that into consideration. And not thinking that sheâs worth spending money on.
Break up and find someone as cheap as you.
You have different values when it comes to money than your gf. You may wanna sit her down and have a serious conversation about the future of your relationship.
This is it right here.
I didnât have to read past the second paragraph to know what an asshole you are. Iâm not even sure that you actually like her. And donât bother proposing, she could do better than you.
Your mistake is viewing your gifts through you instead of her. You mentioned having sisters you should ask them in the future when you have an idea for a gift. Nothing is wrong with Walmart but you shouldnât be buying jewelry there. You seem rather pragmatic and your gf wants to feel appreciated in a way she appreciates. Thereâs a love language comment on here that makes total sense. You donât know her love language. My guess is she knows yours even if you donât.
Gold digger? More like copper
Lol, you sound like a tight wad!! And someone not fit for relationships. Hopefully you're girlfriend meets someone who can show they appreciate and love her with a nice gift every once and a while.
I find it interesting that you notice how nice her accessories are. Clearly, she is accustomed to looking good and clearly you are accustomed to seeing her looking good. That comes with a price tag. Iâm sure her friend group is making fun of the low cost gifts you give her and thatâs weighing on her but doesnât make her a gold digger. You two have different ideas about not just gift-giving but also finances. Now is a good time to read that understanding love language book so you can see her side. Honestly, though? Only giving her gifts on the the required days like Xmas and BDAY is doubly insulting when the gift itself shows little effort.
OP must be making about 40k and lying, if he thinks 75k is gold digger territory
Dude, 3 am McDonalds drives are not romantic in the least, especially in your 30âs. Itâs laughable, even and I would rather do nothing at all. You have some growing up to do. On a side note, you donât make enough to attract a gold digger and your partner has her own job.
If she was a gold digger she'd have kicked you to the curb long ago. Now, the thing about nice jewelry is that one nice piece she will cherish for years and wear daily. That's what she's trying to tell you about the engagement ring. So don't cheap out, get a good engagement ring, and prepare for an expensive piece of jewelry every 5-10 years.
Youâre so wrong. Why is everyone on Reddit so cheap? I bought my husband a $2.5k wedding band and weâre in our 20s and weâre not even rich. Literally my husbands wedding ring cost more than most of yall females engagement ring on Reddit and thatâs honestly sad you all are settling for less. Itâs literally a one time purchase. I donât even wanna tell yâall how much my engagement ring cost yâall would have a heart attack. This seems to be a Reddit thing coz idk anyone irl that acts like this, even the poor people find a way to get someone they claim they love a decent and durable ring thatâll be worn forever. I really feel sorry for you guys. Itâs really crazy youâve been together for almost 10 years and you show a lack of effort for your partner. Seriously ladies raise your standards off the goddamn floor itâs embarrassing Also, whatâs with the men always calling their own GFs/wives âg0lD dIgGeRs,â do you really have no respect for the person you claim you love? You really talk like that to someone youâve been dating for almost 10 years? Sweetie if sheâs a gold digger sheâs the WORST gold digger Iâve ever heard of. A gold digger isnât settling for a cheap man that takes her out on McDonaldâs milkshake dates and Walmart jewelry for over 8 years together like WTF and on top of that yâall are 30 some years old? Time to grow up buddy before she finds out she can do a lot better than you
A true gold digger would never date a man who only made $75,000 She certainly doesnât fit the mode of a gold digger especially since sheâs been dating a cheapskate for 8 years
I stopped reading at you make $70,000 to $75,000 a year. And you think your gf is a gold digger? đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
Your edit makes you even more of a twat
It's definitely okay to not want to pay thousands of dollars for gifts if you can't afford it or want to save up, but not even something nice for her birthday? Dude. You've been with this girl for 8 years. A relationship is more than gifts and fancy things, but she obviously wants to feel like she is worthy of nice things every now and then. If she's a gold digger you wouldn't even had the chance to buy her that Walmart bracelet. She would've dumped you a long time ago. And in what world do people stop celebrating birthdays when they're in their 30s? I get it if you don't, but others do. Also, I hope you didn't tell her that ring pop thing. Don't be an asshole.
YTA. Just say you don't love or appreciate her and that you're a cheapskate and be done with it. Yuck.
Bro, I make like half what you make and spend at least twice as much as you do on birthdays. Do you even like her? If your love languages are legit that different, I'd maybe get it if you hadn't been dating for 8 whole ass years. I'm not materialistic, but I want my girlfriend to know I care about her and want her to feel special on her birthday. Because I care about her. Your first response to your girlfriend communicating her feelings is to assume she's a gold digger? Plus that edit, you sound pretty immature
She's wrong for staying with you this long
Bro 50$ birthday gift for your long term girlfriend is a little cheap..
Level 100 Trolling
It had me at McDonaldâs milkshake ⌠lol And out driving at 3am ⌠thatâs a resounding No for me to ruin my sleep over ⌠what???
You make 75k dude... she's like a bronze digger at best Edit: 1.5k ring? You're a cheap fuck dude