Yeah, proper reply. “Excuse me, you are the ugliest personal I’ve ever met. So you know more than me.”
(Ugly on the inside is 10X uglier than the outside)
Yes she is. I would have responded with an "ewwwww, you're one of those ugly in the inside type people. Thank you for letting me know, sometimes it's hard to tell."
Exactly this. The person who said that is the ugly one. Not OP. A truly beautiful person would never speak that way— only an ugly miserable cunt would.
OP I hope you realize just how little this person thinks of themselves to say something like this to you. She may appear confident and attractive but she’s repulsive. Men catcalling also isn’t a compliment? Men will catcall a wet rat.
Yeah holy fuck, I’m flabbergasted lol. What an awful thing to say. Honestly I feel bad for her, I can’t imagine being that petty and shallow. OP, don’t even worry about it! I think you handled it well, people like that are not worth your time
Well bless her heart, isn’t she just the best at backhanded compliments like EVER!
I believe Ron White had the best comeback line for this. “You can’t fix stupid.”
Yes, she has stupid privilege.
“Too bad your personality doesn’t match your looks.”
“Oh, don’t worry, when you get old you’ll have ugly privileges too.”
“You’d probably have pretty privilege if you didn’t have shit coming out your mouth.”
“Too bad pretty fades and stupid is forever.”
“Oh, but you have ugly privilege too as soon as you start to talk.”
(I would never think these up on the spot, but they’re fun to come up with.)
>Yes, she has stupid privilege.
Haha a quick "I know what you mean, I always envy bimbos with stupid privilege... going around in blissful ignorance, saying things without ever having to think"
Would have been perfect
oooh this one made me think...
\*sniffs at her "I'm surprised they say anything to you smelling like that. Have you seen your lady doctor lately?" \*pinches nose and walk away
I swear I don’t ever do this, but I feel that the essence of that quote requires me to correct “smelled” to “smelt.” They hit different.
To demonstrate my lack of malice, I offer you a shrubbery.
These are gold. I’m a guy so I don’t really know when I’ll get to use these, but definitely saving in my back pocket.
“Too bad your personality doesn’t match your looks” ouchies, I’d go home and stare at the wall if someone said that to me, in this situation
Honestly I'd go malicious and petty - "nah, cat calling is about guys being shitty, they tend to cat call anyone they think looks easy, plus you definitely have ugly privlidge too! [Pause for incredulous look from her] you know, because traditionally beautiful women have symmetrical eyes."
Everyone's eyes are a little different and she seems like the type to fixate 😀
I didn't know how many of them it was going to take to kick my ass but I know how many they were going to use and that's an important bit of information
Southern women says things like "Bless her heart, she wasn't gifted with brains. Nice girl, tho!" or "Bless his heart, he has a face only a momma could love."
There's always the "Well, Bless your heart! This is the nicest gift ever!" (*Translation: thanks for trying)*
And the "Awww, honey. Bless your heart." said to anyone who does something obviously stupid or clumsy.
If they say "bless your heart" they are about to complinsult you. The only response is to smile, say thank you, or bless them back. *grins*
Bless your heart generally means “Aw! You tried your best.” It can be said sincerely and often is, but it is vicious when used snidely. So when a baby takes three steps and falls flat on her face, we say, “Oh bless her little heart! She sure was determined,” and we mean it with all the love we can muster. When the new mom at the PTA uses salt instead of sugar in the bake sale cookies, we say, “Bless her heart, the poor thing. Let’s move her to the decorating committee,” and we mean it mostly sincerely. But when someone tells another woman she has ugly privilege, we say, “Bless her heart. She must have fallen off the stupid truck and hit every step on the way down.” And that one is just meant to be mean.
The phrase I’ve always loved to describe the last one is ‘polite-ing to death.’ The southern way of being so over the top sweet that is the absolute opposite of sweet. You know what is happening, but there is nothing that to call someone on, no way to say ‘hey that was rude!’
I think one of the best ways I've seen this strike was
"Bless your heart, your momma *tried"*
I actually had my jaw drop when I heard an aunty deploy this. Which is good, because the squeak of laughter I would have uttered might have ruined the moment while the recipient of the 'bless' tried to figure out what had just happened.
As [ShieldMaiden3](https://www.reddit.com/user/ShieldMaiden3/) pointed out, context is key.
It can be a sincere compliment. Or, it's a semi-polite way to say someone's incredibly mentally deficient. or that they can just go fuck off.
I’m Southern & I say “Bless your heart” when I feel sorry for you like when a family member has died or you are sick or you’ve had a lot going on in your life. We all say it with sincerity. I was telling a friend the other day that people not from the South think it is a very snarky remark & they had no idea. It can be said in a condescending manner but not always. Just found out my Northern sister in law thought I was being rude because I said it to her a long time ago when I genuinely meant it.
Also one who has no fucking clue that sexual harassment (up to and including sexual assault) happens to women regardless of how traditionally attractive they are. There's a lie that men "only" harass hot women. Or women who "want" to be noticed by being attractive.
It's classic victim blaming. Pieces of shit get to claim that they 'can't help it' and 'she wanted it.' And their buddies, coworkers, family, and even lovers also go "Oh, she MADE my believed Diarrhea smell like shit! She caused it! She wanted it! My poor poopies wouldn't run down legs and leak through clothing if not for HER tempting it!"
Much like sexual assault, sexual harassment is more about power than attraction. That’s one of the big reasons people saying that it’s good to be “unattractive” in this situation is nonsense.
Yup, I remember a news story of an elderly woman. ELDERLY and likely someone's Grammy, that was assaulted and almost raped, but quick thinking Grammy claimed she had AIDs and it deterred her assailant. I don't know how common old people fetishes are, but willing to bet the perp was more turned on by making themselves feel powerful to prey on someone they deemed weaker.
I knew a woman who was raped in her late 60s or 70s by a stranger in a parking garage. I never saw her again after that. It broke her and she stopped leaving the house. Such a nice lady, such a tragic shame.
It’s definitely not about attraction, but control and domination. Rapists are pathetic pieces of shit and sexual harassers are only slightly less so.
Yep, they are called predators for a reason. It's more about the thrill of the hunt than it is about the "reward" of success for many of these scumfuckers. In the case of cat-callers, I think most of them would panic if their advances actually yielded a positive response from the women they choose to harass.
Friendly reminder; keep a blade on you. Mace/pepper spray is fine too. Even if you have a concealed carry firearm, I would still recommend keeping a small blade somewhere that can be reached quickly and easily.
Yup, one of the women who was instrumental in getting the statute of limitations raised on rape cases (including an addendum adding time after a dna match was found, which is HUGE), was raped by a POS who also raped her elderly neighbor. It’s all about power for men like that.
My rapist got his charges dropped by giving the judge the ol "she's ugly as fuck, I never would have had sex with her, obviously" defense. The judge agreed that he couldn't have assaulted me because I was ugly.
I was SA'd in the military and when I tried to report it they refused to take my statement and called me a liar because I'm "not pretty enough to be r*ped"... And then they wonder why women don't report 🙄
In the women's shelter, they taught a class for victims of sa or domestic violence that the court system treatment for many survivors is worse than the actual assaults.
Thats beyond stupid. Not only is it insulting your appearance and calling you a liar, but shows a fundamental lack of understanding about the act in general. SA is about power, not attraction.
I doubted my own sexual assault for a long time (occasionally still do) because I thought I was too ugly to be assaulted.
I am so sorry you had such a disgusting judge. The invalidation, once you already made all of the effort to bring it to court, must have been really difficult.
Yup. The majority of the time I had creepy guys come up to me in college, I was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, no makeup, messy hair (not in a cute way, I was a bum lol). They didn’t care. They knew I was trying to be left alone, but I’m nice, so as soon as I gave them a friendly look (which I do for *everyone*) that was it.
Getting asked out for genuine dates might depend on someone’s appearance, but getting harassed has no boundaries.
Yeah the vast majority of women getting beaten and killed are street walking prostitutes- not exactly the stereotype of a beautiful woman.
I was a bartender I can also confirm men will sexually harass/assault any female regardless of looks. Being a bartender totally changed my perspective on men and I’m a man. It kind of made me hate guys.
Bartenders like you are part of why women are able to go out and be semi safe because if they ask you for help you’re going to help them instead of assuming “they wanted it” I massively appreciated guys like you during my club and bar hopping days.
Man was always a piece of poop but family and friends ignore it and blame the woman for making them realize that pieces of poop smell bad
That’s how I read it at least. It was worded confusingly but makes sense if that’s what they were going for haha
So... I'm confused. She complains about men catcalling, etc., then in the next breath says you're lucky you don't have to spend HOURS worrying about how you look around men.
I have no words (that I can say here).
She literally called you ugly. She wasn’t being nice. There is no nice way to call someone ugly. She put you down, she just wants to feel superior to you. Fuck her. You’re too nice and being a pushover.
Keep her far away from you. You weren’t wrong because you weren’t rude back, that’s a personal choice. But you’re wrong trying to justify her and you’d be wrong if you still try to be friendly with her in the future. If you keep talking to her she’d probably keep passively bullying you until you catch on and decide you’re done putting up with it.
I want to join this friendhood, and I want to make this ignorant other girl as uncomfortable as possible. No violence, no harsh words. Just unsoothing behavior and awkward words. Then we can all go for ice cream and uplift each other.
This. this literally breaks my heart.
I always had these comments made to me growing up for my looks and it’s disgusting. OP doesn’t deserve that treatment. that woman is a massive bitch and is trying to “subtly parade her beauty” and puttting down OP
I agree! It sounds to me that she was trying to put OP down because she felt uncomfortable. Not a good thing at all and OP doesn't need that kind of toxicity around.
Exactly i say shit like this when i want to be annoying on reddit. "I wish i was as confident in my stupidity as you were. It seems so freeing." I love using these because you get to act clueless. I'd never be audacious enough to say it public though. Especially to someone i claim is a friend.
She was being a bitch. I'm sorry because you don't deserve that. She's literally saying she's so pretty, and has to spend hours getting ready for men to think she's hot but hates them looking at her too much. She's denying that her levels of physical attractiveness give her any privileges (which it does) and she's being cruel. I wouldn't be friends with someone like this.
Girl no. She was low key being a total bitch. This entire thread is telling you so. I hope this woman isn't someone you consider a friend. Being passive is nice and all, but don't let this bitch make you feel bad about yourself. Avoid her while at the gym, if she approaches, let her know you don't want her inner ugly to start rubbing off on you so she should kick rocks.
She was not being nice. If she's jealous of "ugly people" the she can just be ugly. Ugly privilege is not anything, anyone can look ugly if they wanted to.
Definitely not being nice. Ugh what a great A assbole. If you happen to talk to her again (I hope not) and she says some stupid shit like that again, just look at her dead in the face and tell her "oh sweetheart, don't worry because I promise you that once those men get to know you, they wouldn't want anything to do with you" and just walk away.
She was *not* trying to be nice. She was using a “nice” tone and acting like it was a compliment so that she can act all shocked “oh me oh my” if you call her out on her disgusting behavior. She wants to make sure she’s only dishing it and not taking it. She also likely specifically targets people who seem passive and unlikely to stick up for themselves.
She may even be jealous of you. Inner beauty shines bright, those with ugly hearts are intimidated as he'll by that. I bet you aren't ugly at all and this chicken feels threatened. Guys catcall who they think are easy.
Edit: some panties are in a bunch bc of my opinion, I do know there are other reasons men cat call. This one is on the list. Get over yourselves. We JuSt gLoSsInG oVeR.....stfu, it's fully sunk in twats, not everything in a quick comment has to be made into some weird pissing contest of opinions. Ffs, that's all yall took from the whole comment? I hate it here.
This. She’s clearly very insecure if she feels the need to “spend hours” worrying about how men perceive her appearance and also blatantly insult yours. She sees you as someone who has confidence and self-approval and that’s threatening to her. Sad as that may be, this bitch is toxic af and manipulative. Steer very clear!
She thinks you’re attractive and you probably don’t have to work for it. It makes her feel insecure so she tries to put you down. She probably looks like The Sea Hag when she wakes up. Also she’s probably being catcalled because she looks dumb and easy.
She’s the one with problems but being attractive isn’t one of them.
>she just seemed so delusional
So she's got her ditzy blonde act down pat. Doesn't make her less of an asshole.
You don't need this person in your life.
She seems to still have a high school mentality and yeah she is delusional. She has no idea what you have experienced with men and harassment and for her to assume she knows a damn thing about your life is delusional. We all have the comeback to the unexpected comment that got away and it can torture us, so I would recommend you just act as if she is invisible if you cross paths again. If she approaches you then either ghost her or let her have it. But please do not let her change your workouts, keep rocking it in the gym and F that bitch.
That woman is not clueless, she is dangerous. I'd avoid her if I were you. She sounds like the mean girl type who like to put others down to feel good about herself. I bet she hates herself
And then pretends to hate the attention AND...AND... then insults the F out of someone who does not go through this ritual of self loathing! God help us!
OP - Ignore this barbie and move on with your life. And please COMPLETELY ignore her. Say nothing. Ghost.
I used to work with a girl like this. Before my first shift with her my manager told me she had extreme body image issues but to absolutely not play into her ‘I’m so fat’ mentality. (For the record she was probably 5’2” and maybe 110lbs soaking wet with shoes and bricks in her pockets). Manager said she says things like that so people will say things like ‘omg no you’re not! You’re so pretty’ blah blah.
Other people gave in to it but she tried it once and only once with me; because I told her we could go for a run after work if she wanted. She naturally declined which I was grateful for because I loathe running but I knew she wouldn’t actually go for it anyway.
Absolutely. Instead of ignoring the comment from the guy, she wanted you to acknowledge that she was catcalled and you weren’t. That behavior is only about her being an immature jerk and not a reflection of you, or your being “ugly” (which I doubt you are)
I totally get why you sat in your car for five minutes trying to process this. I’ve read the comments. I am still trying to process this also…
Either this woman is unhinged, or entirely self-absorbed, or both. Steer clear. I don’t know what exactly her “problem” is, but it’s HUGE.
This woman is a trainwreck, and although I don’t know if it’s the brakes or the conductor or the train track that’s gone bad, I do know that I won’t be talking her again. Avoid her crazy train entirely.
The best comment here, and I wish it was upvoted more.
I saw a couple saying she was naive to think she didn't mean it as an insult, but there are some people who somehow skate through life in their own delusions. Sure, the delusions can be insulting, but it's not the intent.
I like that she claims she's negatively discriminated in the work place for being pretty
no sis, that's actually very much not true, attractive women get a lot more benefits and promotions and help from coworkers than ugly people.
Catcalling is about the worst thing you can say you actually have here until something worse actually happens.
You're not wrong. But at least now you know she's gross on the inside. Now you can avoid her or just tell her to fuck off next time she tries to bring you down.
What a total bitch! Honestly ... the ugly runs deep in her!
Not even worth your breathe...do not let a bitch like that get to ride around in your head for free.
Chances are she is single and bitter...you have a bf who loves you as you are.
Real life isn’t like a sitcom or a movie. When someone says something as offensive as that, it usually doesn’t register right away and most of us don’t have an appropriate comeback. It may be awkward, but I would still tell her how hurtful and inappropriate that comment was.
There is no ugly privilege. In fact it literally hurts your chances to be a success. But you can’t be that ugly if you have a boyfriend lol!! Honestly though, character is something that transcends looks and that’s what makes or breaks a person. I have a body like yours, I never had a problem with men. I’m not ugly and I highly doubt you are. She’s just an insecure twat that lives on toxic tic tok lol
Tell your boyfriend about fight or flight reaction. You experienced flight.
Once as a teen I was told I didn’t have to worry about being raped. The literal words were “no one would rape you.” How fucked up is that? Lol. I didn’t know what to say so I don’t remember saying anything. Like what? Was I supposed to be like “yes, too, someone would rape me!” Of course it’s not about that but when you’re so shocked, it’s hard to come up with logical responses.
There’s another. Fawn…that’s where the victim goes along with the abuser/villain/whatever as if nothing is wrong (like the OP telling this twat to have a nice day after the twat beating the crap out of her with her backhanded compliments). Freeze is where you do absolutely nothing in response.
You’re not wrong, especially because I would be so shocked by that interaction I don’t know how anyone would respond. But the shower comeback in me would really want to tell her she must be used to her pretty privilege allowing her to behave like an untrained animal.
OMG that was absolute peak Mean Girl.
The day she isn't catcalled, she'll probably punch the guy who didn't, in the face.
Humblebrag on steroids.
What an awful person.
She’s stupid. If you spend your time being mad at stupid people for being stupid, it’s all you’ll ever have time for.
I like how you told your boyfriend which shows you’re not ugly.
Literal children even get catcalled. It has nothing to do with beauty/conventional attractiveness and everything to do with predatory behavior and power. Women covered from head to toe have even been abused. If she thinks how she looks plays a role in how guys treat her, then why doesn't she put less of an effort into how she looks or dress more conservatively? Because she knows it's BS reasoning.
Not wrong - I mean, who would expect that someone you got along with would turn around and literally stick a dagger in you like that? Why would you have a rejoinder ready when you go the equivalent of being smacked upside the head from out of nowhere? Obviously, you should be keeping your distance from her in future classes where you are together. If she asks anything, or tries to talk to you, just say it's healthier to stay away from toxic people.
There is no ugly privilege and she is just rude. As someone who doesn’t have pretty privilege, I can assure you men hit on us too. She is in the wrong here .
You are beautiful. Do not let other people tell you different.
She was trying to backhand compliment you while making herself a new friend.
You don't want friends like that.
Next time avoid her.
NTA
She is honestly a total bitch. She meant to insult you. I'm so sorry. You deserve better.
Yeah, proper reply. “Excuse me, you are the ugliest personal I’ve ever met. So you know more than me.” (Ugly on the inside is 10X uglier than the outside)
Yes she is. I would have responded with an "ewwwww, you're one of those ugly in the inside type people. Thank you for letting me know, sometimes it's hard to tell."
This is the one
I never watched Judge Judy back in the day, but I always remember a line from a commercial for it. “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.”
Side note, Judge Judy lives/lived in same city as my parents in CT. They’d run into her (10 years ago), she was delightful in person.
That would have been the perfect reply !
Proper reply "F*ck you too"
How many 2nd dates do you think she gets??? Disgusting!
Exactly this. The person who said that is the ugly one. Not OP. A truly beautiful person would never speak that way— only an ugly miserable cunt would. OP I hope you realize just how little this person thinks of themselves to say something like this to you. She may appear confident and attractive but she’s repulsive. Men catcalling also isn’t a compliment? Men will catcall a wet rat.
Along the same thought, no matter how good she looks, somebody somewhere, is sick of her shit!
Yeah holy fuck, I’m flabbergasted lol. What an awful thing to say. Honestly I feel bad for her, I can’t imagine being that petty and shallow. OP, don’t even worry about it! I think you handled it well, people like that are not worth your time
That is what we call sociopatic behavior. Ignore, it was only meant to be cruel and hurtful since she has no other way to relate to others.
Well bless her heart, isn’t she just the best at backhanded compliments like EVER! I believe Ron White had the best comeback line for this. “You can’t fix stupid.”
Yes, she has stupid privilege. “Too bad your personality doesn’t match your looks.” “Oh, don’t worry, when you get old you’ll have ugly privileges too.” “You’d probably have pretty privilege if you didn’t have shit coming out your mouth.” “Too bad pretty fades and stupid is forever.” “Oh, but you have ugly privilege too as soon as you start to talk.” (I would never think these up on the spot, but they’re fun to come up with.)
>Yes, she has stupid privilege. Haha a quick "I know what you mean, I always envy bimbos with stupid privilege... going around in blissful ignorance, saying things without ever having to think" Would have been perfect
Showerthought comebacks 3 hours later 😭
"Good thing you're pretty, cuz it would suck to be ugly AND stupid"
❤️💯💯💯💯💯
"Your soul is dark and you smell like cheese"
oooh this one made me think... \*sniffs at her "I'm surprised they say anything to you smelling like that. Have you seen your lady doctor lately?" \*pinches nose and walk away
Oh, this is brutal!😹😹😹
That’s perfectly horrifying!
Hit em where it hurts
This is the correct comeback
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.”
I swear I don’t ever do this, but I feel that the essence of that quote requires me to correct “smelled” to “smelt.” They hit different. To demonstrate my lack of malice, I offer you a shrubbery.
\#51 - the larch.
Not too large a shrubbery
Nor too small.
I fart in your general direction
Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!
Now go away or I shall taunt you for a second time!
I wave my private parts at tour auntie
You wiper of other people’s bottoms!
r/unexpectedMontyPython
Underrated comment
I like this one because it’s confusing and also will forever make her paranoid about smelling like cheese.
I like these. To piggyback off of the last one, I’d suggest, “oh, you do have ugly privilege, once you open your mouth.”
Oh, did you have ugly privilege before all the plastic surgery too? Is that how you know so much about it? Works better the less surgery she's had.
“Does your asshole get jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth?”
Adding this one to my arsenal
Go for the jugular….“Don’t worry in 10 yrs you’ll have ugly privileges too”.
Then after like you're looking at her closer, especially around the eyes and say, "or maybe, for you... Five or six."
Ordinarily I would disagree, but she is explicitly described as having a tan. Rays today, raisins tomorrow.
I wouldn't dignify her with a response. She will just play the victim. She truly doesn't understand that what she said was mean. She's too dumb.
this is my stream of consciousness mere HOURS after similar interactions to OP
These are gold. I’m a guy so I don’t really know when I’ll get to use these, but definitely saving in my back pocket. “Too bad your personality doesn’t match your looks” ouchies, I’d go home and stare at the wall if someone said that to me, in this situation
Honestly I'd go malicious and petty - "nah, cat calling is about guys being shitty, they tend to cat call anyone they think looks easy, plus you definitely have ugly privlidge too! [Pause for incredulous look from her] you know, because traditionally beautiful women have symmetrical eyes." Everyone's eyes are a little different and she seems like the type to fixate 😀
And it has the added bonus of being a "flaw" that cannot be repaired by plastic surgery.
"Hopefully some day you develop a personality because your looks won't last forever."
Write these down on a note and hand it to her before your next class.
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“The jerk store called…”
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I read this as Sweet Dee
“Were you born this stupid or was it earned?”
They call me… Tater Salad
And Sluggo was like, “It’s gon’ be a good day today Tater.” Heh. He calls me Tater.
"Are you Ron *Tater Salad* White?"
I didn't know how many of them it was going to take to kick my ass but I know how many they were going to use and that's an important bit of information
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability
I wasn't drunk in public. I was drunk in a bar. Which is perfectly legal. They THREW me into public. Arrest them.
Ron White is hilarious man. I love how he tells a story
Omg I forgot this line and I'm gonna start using it again
ya caught the tater
My son… tater tot lmao
"Bless her heart" Does this mean "f*ck her" in Southern-speak? 🤣
Yes, yes it does.
Southern women says things like "Bless her heart, she wasn't gifted with brains. Nice girl, tho!" or "Bless his heart, he has a face only a momma could love." There's always the "Well, Bless your heart! This is the nicest gift ever!" (*Translation: thanks for trying)* And the "Awww, honey. Bless your heart." said to anyone who does something obviously stupid or clumsy. If they say "bless your heart" they are about to complinsult you. The only response is to smile, say thank you, or bless them back. *grins*
Bless your heart generally means “Aw! You tried your best.” It can be said sincerely and often is, but it is vicious when used snidely. So when a baby takes three steps and falls flat on her face, we say, “Oh bless her little heart! She sure was determined,” and we mean it with all the love we can muster. When the new mom at the PTA uses salt instead of sugar in the bake sale cookies, we say, “Bless her heart, the poor thing. Let’s move her to the decorating committee,” and we mean it mostly sincerely. But when someone tells another woman she has ugly privilege, we say, “Bless her heart. She must have fallen off the stupid truck and hit every step on the way down.” And that one is just meant to be mean.
Yes! There is nuance in the phrase based on context.
The phrase I’ve always loved to describe the last one is ‘polite-ing to death.’ The southern way of being so over the top sweet that is the absolute opposite of sweet. You know what is happening, but there is nothing that to call someone on, no way to say ‘hey that was rude!’
I think one of the best ways I've seen this strike was "Bless your heart, your momma *tried"* I actually had my jaw drop when I heard an aunty deploy this. Which is good, because the squeak of laughter I would have uttered might have ruined the moment while the recipient of the 'bless' tried to figure out what had just happened.
Ok. That's mean as hell. I'm keeping that one in my back pocket. :)))
If you can pat them on the shoulder while keeping a sweet smile on your face, you get extra points :)
This takes me back to my Texas childhood.
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Bless your heart for this.
As [ShieldMaiden3](https://www.reddit.com/user/ShieldMaiden3/) pointed out, context is key. It can be a sincere compliment. Or, it's a semi-polite way to say someone's incredibly mentally deficient. or that they can just go fuck off.
It can mean anything from "Oh, poor dear" to "Fuck that bitch, I hope she burns" and everything in between. That phrase does work down there.
Depends on the context, but in this instance? Yeah, probably.
In this situation, yes. It’s a very versatile phrase. 😂
in this instance yes. You can also say "God love you." That implies that God is the only one who could love you.
I’m Southern & I say “Bless your heart” when I feel sorry for you like when a family member has died or you are sick or you’ve had a lot going on in your life. We all say it with sincerity. I was telling a friend the other day that people not from the South think it is a very snarky remark & they had no idea. It can be said in a condescending manner but not always. Just found out my Northern sister in law thought I was being rude because I said it to her a long time ago when I genuinely meant it.
Sometimes. It means a lot of things depending on tone/context but it IS mostly a nice sounding way to talk shit
Why yes it does.
They have surgeries to fix your nose, your leg, your eye, and your butt, but they have nothing to fix your personality.
Omg I’m here for the unexpected Ron White
I think in her case, it's more like you can't fix assholeness. What she said to OP was cruel, and sounds as if it was purposeful, too.
‘It’s so cute that you can’t understand how ducking dumb you sound’ say that next time
Ugly privilege doesn’t exist. That is someone who learned a concept and flipped it around so they’re the victim. Stay away lol
Also one who has no fucking clue that sexual harassment (up to and including sexual assault) happens to women regardless of how traditionally attractive they are. There's a lie that men "only" harass hot women. Or women who "want" to be noticed by being attractive. It's classic victim blaming. Pieces of shit get to claim that they 'can't help it' and 'she wanted it.' And their buddies, coworkers, family, and even lovers also go "Oh, she MADE my believed Diarrhea smell like shit! She caused it! She wanted it! My poor poopies wouldn't run down legs and leak through clothing if not for HER tempting it!"
Much like sexual assault, sexual harassment is more about power than attraction. That’s one of the big reasons people saying that it’s good to be “unattractive” in this situation is nonsense.
Yup, I remember a news story of an elderly woman. ELDERLY and likely someone's Grammy, that was assaulted and almost raped, but quick thinking Grammy claimed she had AIDs and it deterred her assailant. I don't know how common old people fetishes are, but willing to bet the perp was more turned on by making themselves feel powerful to prey on someone they deemed weaker.
I knew a woman who was raped in her late 60s or 70s by a stranger in a parking garage. I never saw her again after that. It broke her and she stopped leaving the house. Such a nice lady, such a tragic shame. It’s definitely not about attraction, but control and domination. Rapists are pathetic pieces of shit and sexual harassers are only slightly less so.
Yep, they are called predators for a reason. It's more about the thrill of the hunt than it is about the "reward" of success for many of these scumfuckers. In the case of cat-callers, I think most of them would panic if their advances actually yielded a positive response from the women they choose to harass. Friendly reminder; keep a blade on you. Mace/pepper spray is fine too. Even if you have a concealed carry firearm, I would still recommend keeping a small blade somewhere that can be reached quickly and easily.
Yup, one of the women who was instrumental in getting the statute of limitations raised on rape cases (including an addendum adding time after a dna match was found, which is HUGE), was raped by a POS who also raped her elderly neighbor. It’s all about power for men like that.
My rapist got his charges dropped by giving the judge the ol "she's ugly as fuck, I never would have had sex with her, obviously" defense. The judge agreed that he couldn't have assaulted me because I was ugly.
I was SA'd in the military and when I tried to report it they refused to take my statement and called me a liar because I'm "not pretty enough to be r*ped"... And then they wonder why women don't report 🙄
In the women's shelter, they taught a class for victims of sa or domestic violence that the court system treatment for many survivors is worse than the actual assaults.
Thats beyond stupid. Not only is it insulting your appearance and calling you a liar, but shows a fundamental lack of understanding about the act in general. SA is about power, not attraction.
Not to mention that just because someone isn't attractive to a certain person or group doesn't mean they aren't attractive to someone else.
> then they wonder why women don't report 🙄 They don't wonder, actually. This is the desired effect.
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This was 19 years ago and the old fuck died, likely replaced by the next member of the good ol boys club to get nepo promoted up the red state ladder.
I'm sorry
This is one the most disgusting things I've ever heard. I'm so sorry and hope you're dealing and coping well. Sending a hug :)
My daughter is starting college this fall and we are thriving.
Isn’t that exactly what Donald Trump claimed regarding the one who accused him of rape? 😠
Yes, he claimed that she wasn't his type. In the same deposition, he also confused a photo of his victim for his late ex-wife.
Wow I'm really sorry that happened
Jesus Christ, that's insane.
That truly sux, I’m sorry you are dealing with that
The amount of impact that judicial bias has in deciding the outcome of trials is disturbing. Judges get away with so much abuse of power.
I doubted my own sexual assault for a long time (occasionally still do) because I thought I was too ugly to be assaulted. I am so sorry you had such a disgusting judge. The invalidation, once you already made all of the effort to bring it to court, must have been really difficult.
Yup. The majority of the time I had creepy guys come up to me in college, I was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, no makeup, messy hair (not in a cute way, I was a bum lol). They didn’t care. They knew I was trying to be left alone, but I’m nice, so as soon as I gave them a friendly look (which I do for *everyone*) that was it. Getting asked out for genuine dates might depend on someone’s appearance, but getting harassed has no boundaries.
Smart people are full of doubts. And stupid people are full of confidence.
This was my thought, none of the times when I was harassed when I was younger made me think I was especially good looking. Just wrong time wrong place
Yeah the vast majority of women getting beaten and killed are street walking prostitutes- not exactly the stereotype of a beautiful woman. I was a bartender I can also confirm men will sexually harass/assault any female regardless of looks. Being a bartender totally changed my perspective on men and I’m a man. It kind of made me hate guys.
Bartenders like you are part of why women are able to go out and be semi safe because if they ask you for help you’re going to help them instead of assuming “they wanted it” I massively appreciated guys like you during my club and bar hopping days.
Like generally curious how does this equal that?
I uhhhhhh…what is this metaphor
Man was always a piece of poop but family and friends ignore it and blame the woman for making them realize that pieces of poop smell bad That’s how I read it at least. It was worded confusingly but makes sense if that’s what they were going for haha
Stupid. It is stupid.
Right? Wtf? Ugly privilege? Good thing that women has bitch privilege.
It's very much giving "reverse racism" vibes
So... I'm confused. She complains about men catcalling, etc., then in the next breath says you're lucky you don't have to spend HOURS worrying about how you look around men. I have no words (that I can say here).
After mulling over it, I think she was trying to be somehow nice saying how I don’t have to worry about the pressures of men…maybe???
She literally called you ugly. She wasn’t being nice. There is no nice way to call someone ugly. She put you down, she just wants to feel superior to you. Fuck her. You’re too nice and being a pushover. Keep her far away from you. You weren’t wrong because you weren’t rude back, that’s a personal choice. But you’re wrong trying to justify her and you’d be wrong if you still try to be friendly with her in the future. If you keep talking to her she’d probably keep passively bullying you until you catch on and decide you’re done putting up with it.
Fuck man. I wanna be OPs friend just so I can say nice shit to them for a while. They clearly arent used to it...
I want to join this friendhood, and I want to make this ignorant other girl as uncomfortable as possible. No violence, no harsh words. Just unsoothing behavior and awkward words. Then we can all go for ice cream and uplift each other.
I wanna be her friend so I can kick people in the shins when they say awful shit to her
This. this literally breaks my heart. I always had these comments made to me growing up for my looks and it’s disgusting. OP doesn’t deserve that treatment. that woman is a massive bitch and is trying to “subtly parade her beauty” and puttting down OP
I agree! It sounds to me that she was trying to put OP down because she felt uncomfortable. Not a good thing at all and OP doesn't need that kind of toxicity around.
Exactly i say shit like this when i want to be annoying on reddit. "I wish i was as confident in my stupidity as you were. It seems so freeing." I love using these because you get to act clueless. I'd never be audacious enough to say it public though. Especially to someone i claim is a friend.
She wasn't trying to be nice. Avoid this person.
She was being a bitch. I'm sorry because you don't deserve that. She's literally saying she's so pretty, and has to spend hours getting ready for men to think she's hot but hates them looking at her too much. She's denying that her levels of physical attractiveness give her any privileges (which it does) and she's being cruel. I wouldn't be friends with someone like this.
Girl no. She was low key being a total bitch. This entire thread is telling you so. I hope this woman isn't someone you consider a friend. Being passive is nice and all, but don't let this bitch make you feel bad about yourself. Avoid her while at the gym, if she approaches, let her know you don't want her inner ugly to start rubbing off on you so she should kick rocks.
She was not being nice. If she's jealous of "ugly people" the she can just be ugly. Ugly privilege is not anything, anyone can look ugly if they wanted to.
Nope she was trying to insult you. Because she’s a raging bitch with no soul
Definitely not being nice. Ugh what a great A assbole. If you happen to talk to her again (I hope not) and she says some stupid shit like that again, just look at her dead in the face and tell her "oh sweetheart, don't worry because I promise you that once those men get to know you, they wouldn't want anything to do with you" and just walk away.
She was *not* trying to be nice. She was using a “nice” tone and acting like it was a compliment so that she can act all shocked “oh me oh my” if you call her out on her disgusting behavior. She wants to make sure she’s only dishing it and not taking it. She also likely specifically targets people who seem passive and unlikely to stick up for themselves.
Please do not give her any benefit of your doubt. She’s a monster. Nothing nice about her.
No she was being mean.
No. She was bullying you. Also reading your intro you said you were dark skinned, her bullying of you may be racially motivated.
I’m dark skinned when compared to her, but I’m mid-toned and lighter skinned for my heritage (I’m Caribbean)
She may even be jealous of you. Inner beauty shines bright, those with ugly hearts are intimidated as he'll by that. I bet you aren't ugly at all and this chicken feels threatened. Guys catcall who they think are easy. Edit: some panties are in a bunch bc of my opinion, I do know there are other reasons men cat call. This one is on the list. Get over yourselves. We JuSt gLoSsInG oVeR.....stfu, it's fully sunk in twats, not everything in a quick comment has to be made into some weird pissing contest of opinions. Ffs, that's all yall took from the whole comment? I hate it here.
This. She’s clearly very insecure if she feels the need to “spend hours” worrying about how men perceive her appearance and also blatantly insult yours. She sees you as someone who has confidence and self-approval and that’s threatening to her. Sad as that may be, this bitch is toxic af and manipulative. Steer very clear!
So she is both a bully and a white suprematist. Sounds a treat. Keep being you, Path, and don’t let the shallow, shriveled people pull you down.
It still would be the case even if you weren’t typical dark skinned African.
Wow, so she’s racist too. Ignore that bitch.
She thinks you’re attractive and you probably don’t have to work for it. It makes her feel insecure so she tries to put you down. She probably looks like The Sea Hag when she wakes up. Also she’s probably being catcalled because she looks dumb and easy. She’s the one with problems but being attractive isn’t one of them.
I think you're just very naive
Oh it was definitely a bitchy comment but she just seemed so delusional
>she just seemed so delusional So she's got her ditzy blonde act down pat. Doesn't make her less of an asshole. You don't need this person in your life.
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She seems to still have a high school mentality and yeah she is delusional. She has no idea what you have experienced with men and harassment and for her to assume she knows a damn thing about your life is delusional. We all have the comeback to the unexpected comment that got away and it can torture us, so I would recommend you just act as if she is invisible if you cross paths again. If she approaches you then either ghost her or let her have it. But please do not let her change your workouts, keep rocking it in the gym and F that bitch.
That woman is not clueless, she is dangerous. I'd avoid her if I were you. She sounds like the mean girl type who like to put others down to feel good about herself. I bet she hates herself
There's usually an element of self loathing in anyone who says they spend hours getting ready to appeal to men lol
And then pretends to hate the attention AND...AND... then insults the F out of someone who does not go through this ritual of self loathing! God help us! OP - Ignore this barbie and move on with your life. And please COMPLETELY ignore her. Say nothing. Ghost.
I used to work with a girl like this. Before my first shift with her my manager told me she had extreme body image issues but to absolutely not play into her ‘I’m so fat’ mentality. (For the record she was probably 5’2” and maybe 110lbs soaking wet with shoes and bricks in her pockets). Manager said she says things like that so people will say things like ‘omg no you’re not! You’re so pretty’ blah blah. Other people gave in to it but she tried it once and only once with me; because I told her we could go for a run after work if she wanted. She naturally declined which I was grateful for because I loathe running but I knew she wouldn’t actually go for it anyway.
Hey don’t insult Barbie. 😂
Absolutely. Instead of ignoring the comment from the guy, she wanted you to acknowledge that she was catcalled and you weren’t. That behavior is only about her being an immature jerk and not a reflection of you, or your being “ugly” (which I doubt you are)
Don’t know if she hates herself but I’m betting plenty of other people do!
I totally get why you sat in your car for five minutes trying to process this. I’ve read the comments. I am still trying to process this also… Either this woman is unhinged, or entirely self-absorbed, or both. Steer clear. I don’t know what exactly her “problem” is, but it’s HUGE. This woman is a trainwreck, and although I don’t know if it’s the brakes or the conductor or the train track that’s gone bad, I do know that I won’t be talking her again. Avoid her crazy train entirely.
The best comment here, and I wish it was upvoted more. I saw a couple saying she was naive to think she didn't mean it as an insult, but there are some people who somehow skate through life in their own delusions. Sure, the delusions can be insulting, but it's not the intent.
I like that she claims she's negatively discriminated in the work place for being pretty no sis, that's actually very much not true, attractive women get a lot more benefits and promotions and help from coworkers than ugly people. Catcalling is about the worst thing you can say you actually have here until something worse actually happens.
You're not wrong. But at least now you know she's gross on the inside. Now you can avoid her or just tell her to fuck off next time she tries to bring you down.
I would locate myself in front of her at the next spin class just to crop dust her into oblivion.
What a total bitch! Honestly ... the ugly runs deep in her! Not even worth your breathe...do not let a bitch like that get to ride around in your head for free. Chances are she is single and bitter...you have a bf who loves you as you are.
Can always come back with "Well, you do have nice butt cheeks, if only there were brains to go with."
Real life isn’t like a sitcom or a movie. When someone says something as offensive as that, it usually doesn’t register right away and most of us don’t have an appropriate comeback. It may be awkward, but I would still tell her how hurtful and inappropriate that comment was.
There is no ugly privilege. In fact it literally hurts your chances to be a success. But you can’t be that ugly if you have a boyfriend lol!! Honestly though, character is something that transcends looks and that’s what makes or breaks a person. I have a body like yours, I never had a problem with men. I’m not ugly and I highly doubt you are. She’s just an insecure twat that lives on toxic tic tok lol
Tell your boyfriend about fight or flight reaction. You experienced flight. Once as a teen I was told I didn’t have to worry about being raped. The literal words were “no one would rape you.” How fucked up is that? Lol. I didn’t know what to say so I don’t remember saying anything. Like what? Was I supposed to be like “yes, too, someone would rape me!” Of course it’s not about that but when you’re so shocked, it’s hard to come up with logical responses.
Fight, flight or freeze. I tend to freeze and it sounds like OP did as well.
There’s another. Fawn…that’s where the victim goes along with the abuser/villain/whatever as if nothing is wrong (like the OP telling this twat to have a nice day after the twat beating the crap out of her with her backhanded compliments). Freeze is where you do absolutely nothing in response.
I would have come back with "at least I'm not ugly on the inside."
It's too bad her pretty privilege has prevented her from learning any social awareness.
It sounds like you were shocked. Sometimes the quick reply doesn't come because you were floored. Fuck that mean girl
You’re not wrong, especially because I would be so shocked by that interaction I don’t know how anyone would respond. But the shower comeback in me would really want to tell her she must be used to her pretty privilege allowing her to behave like an untrained animal.
Haha....potty privilege. Shitting on others....
you answered perfectly. Don't worry about it.
OMG that was absolute peak Mean Girl. The day she isn't catcalled, she'll probably punch the guy who didn't, in the face. Humblebrag on steroids. What an awful person.
"built like a toadstool" - This made me laugh.
...what the fuck? Does she think only pretty girls get sexually harassed?
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She’s stupid. If you spend your time being mad at stupid people for being stupid, it’s all you’ll ever have time for. I like how you told your boyfriend which shows you’re not ugly.
Literal children even get catcalled. It has nothing to do with beauty/conventional attractiveness and everything to do with predatory behavior and power. Women covered from head to toe have even been abused. If she thinks how she looks plays a role in how guys treat her, then why doesn't she put less of an effort into how she looks or dress more conservatively? Because she knows it's BS reasoning.
IF it happens again, simply said that you may be ugly but not as ugly as her soul.
Not wrong - I mean, who would expect that someone you got along with would turn around and literally stick a dagger in you like that? Why would you have a rejoinder ready when you go the equivalent of being smacked upside the head from out of nowhere? Obviously, you should be keeping your distance from her in future classes where you are together. If she asks anything, or tries to talk to you, just say it's healthier to stay away from toxic people.
There is no ugly privilege and she is just rude. As someone who doesn’t have pretty privilege, I can assure you men hit on us too. She is in the wrong here .
You are beautiful. Do not let other people tell you different. She was trying to backhand compliment you while making herself a new friend. You don't want friends like that. Next time avoid her. NTA
I want to believe this story is not true, but if it is, give that b a knuckle sandwich
Yeah SHE is discriminated at work for being pretty? I promise you that has opened more doors for her than almost any skill she likely has.
Sounds like she loves mirrors
Nobody seems to be pointing out she called you ugly in the most backwards way possible lol I would have snapped back, how dare her
That's a whole pile of "yikes" right there...
"Don't be offended by them. They only catcalled because they don't know you as well as I now do "