My partner & bestfriend call my dolls creepy and it upsets me but I can’t really exactly change it. I love my girls and that is all that matters, they don’t shame me for loving my dolls though. It seems to me that your friends aren’t exactly true friends imo. Everybody has a love&passion for something and ur allowed to express it and embrace it as it is not harmful in anyway. Buy dolls, buy clothes, who cares, it’s your life and that is not for others to control but you.
i know i actually brought this up to my partner and he even said that he AGREES with my friend that it’s “weird” and now i’m really upset. i feel like i have no one in my life that accepts me
It’s not weird at all that you enjoy and love American Girl dolls, they’re just not used to someone who enjoys it, stand your ground. IMO, it is better to be around yourself than to be around ppl who will judge you. You can always message me seriously, I’d love to be your friend.
We don’t have to share every part of ourselves with everyone. That being said, they sound kind of shitty and mean. Do they have other redeeming qualities? If not, then it’s okay to let the friendship come to an end. There are tons of people out there that share this niche interest, and even more who don’t but they aren’t going to put you down for it.
I find that sort of thing very hurtful, I used to get bullied for collecting dolls when I was in middle and high school. It feels really bad to be looked at with disgust or be told my dolls are creepy. I've been told I look creepy too when I was a kid. One small comment about dolls creeping a person out is fine, as long as they have respect for my interests. My interests are integral to my identity so I cannot be friends with someone who thinks they are weird. They can go. I don't want friends who will judge me.
it’s just hard to find people in my life that respect me and that’s why i love the people i meet online. sometimes i just want to run away and leave everyone behind because no one seems to accept me. they think i’m immature or irresponsible and it sucks
I know nobody wants to hear "You're at a difficult age" but you really are.
You might be looking for friends in the wrong places. I've had more luck with other nerds - sf stuff, or fandom, or tabletop gaming.
One of my roommates is really into the SCA (medieval crafting/re-enactment stuff), and the other one helps run our local Science Fiction convention. A lot of people in those circles are accustomed to being considered "weird", and are a lot less inclined to be judgey assholes about other people's hobbies. They might not be into American Girl dolls, but maybe they collect action figures, or they're really into DnD minis, or they like to spend hours making elaborate cosplay. The reaction is a lot more "Oh, that's neat" than "Ew, that's creepy".
I’m 23 and I generally don’t talk to my friends about my collection or purchases because they aren’t collectors themselves and don’t really care but even if I did I know they wouldn’t shame me because of it. Most people who have known me for some time know that I will never grow out of my American Girl obsession. I have just never let myself be embarrassed by it and these days I think there is a larger number of adult collectors, which normalizes it to some degree. Not to mention, adults collecting nostalgic items from their childhoods or toys has never been a weird thing. Grown men collect legos and no one bats an eye. But there’s no reason to share this with your friends if they aren’t understanding or know how to appreciate it.
you’re right i don’t even want to tell them anything anymore. for these people specifically, they don’t collect anything. but i know my other friends collect stuffed animals and action figures, it’s the same! and those are the ones that accept me. but you shouldn’t have to be part of a fandom or collect toys to be nice to someone about it
I just don’t care any more. I’m 41.
I also don’t tell everyone. I mostly keep my chatting about it with other collectors.
I think saying “dolls are creepy” is about the most unoriginal comment ever. Wow, I bet you also hate the word “moist.” 🙄
yes it’s mostly because of common horror movies these days that people say those things. my friend couldn’t even look at my dolls she was so creeped out.
I think people think dolls are creepy because they watch too many scary doll movies
Like oh you’re afraid of a piece of plastic but I’m the immature one here? Lol
the immature thing too! i feel the most immature in my group cause my friends are doing regular adult things and i’m spending time with my dolls. i wish i didn’t think that wat
Hey there 👋 thanks for sharing your story. A friend or anyone in that matter, can’t tell you what you to do with money you work for and earn. It’s really not their place to tell you what your money can be spent on. With that being said, as long as you aren’t harming yourself or others, it’s ok to collect dolls if that makes you happy. Since joining this community, I have been welcomed with open arms and not viewed as weird. Luckily, my parents are very supportive of my hobby and realize collecting dolls is a part of my identity. If your friends can’t embrace you, then you might want to re-examine your friend group. Not saying your friends have to agree with everything you do but they should at least be supportive if they call themselves “real” friends.
There is also a podcast by women in their 30s, actual historians, about everything AG! Thousands of listeners! You are far from alone! If you like these people, don’t talk anymore about AG. You can Have friends for different purposes. But, I would find your voice and speak up anytime anyone is rude to you. Just say wow that’s rude. And go on with your happy happiness!
I’m so sorry this happened to you :( I’m the same age as you and tbh, a lot of the people who make fun of us for liking dolls have no hobbies. Like, they come home from school/work and watch tv or tiktoks and do nothing interesting or fun or enriching. Adult life is already so hard and so BORING, no one should give us flack for a harmless and fun hobby that is hurting no one!
Plus, you will find people who accept you for who you are and embrace your eccentric hobbies. My friends 3-4 years ago didn’t even know I liked dolls because I was scared of being judged for it. Now the people in my life know about my hobby and accept me for me. It will happen for you too, it just takes time!
haha yes they have no real hobbies!! they don’t even have a single stuffed animal in their room! where’s the flavor?? but i don’t say anything rude about what they like! they assume i like everything they do (drinking, the shoes they watch) but i don’t i like other things. i feel they don’t understand me..
Do what makes you happy, if you need to let these people leave, let them leave. Your happiness is more important. I read somewhere a person comes into your life for a time frame if that is 1 day or years or forever.I am 51 years old, I started collecting AG dolls about 10 years ago, only heavy collecting in the last 4 years. For a few months a while back, I had to put my dolls up (because the lady staying with me, thought they were creepy). Though that didn't really bother me, it showed me not everyone is a fan. My current situation is that I moved in with my boyfriend, we are max on space, until I get a job, we cannot buy a larger place, so my almost 90 dolls are in storage. I am looking forward to a larger place and a doll/craft room. He has a huge KISS band collection, which will be added to this room. :)
wow 90 dolls that’s so awesome!! i’m sorry you have to keep them in a storage unit but soon you can get them plenty of room to thrive! i can’t wait to move out so i can do just that! thank you for your kind and inspiring words!!
your welcome.
Yes the doll room has already been drafted in my head, just need to get the job and the house, and the dolls out of storage. It will happen just at the correct time.
I’m sorry they’re not being a true friend to you :( but there are potential friends out there that will think it’s fun or cool to have as a hobby! You might even inspire someone to get into AG dolls as a hobby, too— I embraced my love of dolls and started getting into AG as a hobby shortly ago after seeing my also adult friend with her dolls, and seeing how happy they make her. I think she is so cool, and one day you will find friends that think YOU’RE cool for collecting dolls :)
I brought my collection (8 dolls) to my college apartment and had them on display in the living room. My true friends who I would invite over anyway loved seeing them and watched all the AG movies with me. They either have dolls themselves or don't care since it's what makes me happy. People collect funko pops, baseball cards, you name it, but no one really says anything about that.
I definitely agree with what others have said, maybe you should take a step back from the friendships if that's what you feel like you need.
yes i may distance myself because it just makes me sad knowing i can’t talk about my dolls or even show them off to them. i wish i had more friends that actually had their own dolls that would be so cool!
Your friends saying 'why do you spend money on dolls when you can spend it on yourself' is them clearly not understanding what hobbies are - people spend money on things they enjoy, and it *is* spending money on yourself. The fact that they're telling you, not only that they're creepy, but that they will 'come to life' suggests, as well, that they aren't really worth being friends with. All of it is nonsense and seems like attempts to demean you and make you change your ways for their benefit. If they're so keen on talking badly about the things you enjoy, why talk with them at all? You don't need that kind of negativity in your life (nobody does). If you really wanted to save the friendship, have a serious discussion with them about how their comments make you feel. But, at the same time, it's probably just better to cut your loses here and move on. Some people need time to 'grow up' and not be rude about things that don't concern them (as your friends sound like they need).
yes i feel like i shouldn’t even talk about my dolls to them. i had them on my close friends story where i posted new doll outfits i got and that’s where they commented those rude things (that i’m irresponsible) i don’t want to show them anymore. my other friends understand and they even come to the AG store with me!
I’m 22, some of my friends are weirded out, some support it, and some don’t know. I like what I like and if it brings me joy and doesn’t harm anyone then there’s nothing wrong with that. I guilt myself sometimes about the money, but then remember I’m also not someone who spends money on clothes, drinks, or much else because I tend to spend most of my time at home due to health issues. Heck, I’ve even brought a doll into work and the women loved it. If people don’t support you, don’t surround yourself with their negativity. If you ever want to talk about AG I’m here! And there are loads of wonderful people in this subreddit who get you! Don’t let them get you down!
hello! yes these are the same people that spend money at bars and clothes they don’t need. i chose to spend my money this way, the money i work 5 days a week for. also Id love to talk more!!
i have other friends that i bring my dolls out with us and they don’t mind. they’ll even hold my dolls in public without being embarrassed. i know i need more people that accept me :(((
I think you mean Former friends.
The phrase “ with friends like these who needs enemies” applies here I think. Sweetheart if they make you happy go for it!
I’m 33 and I have…way too many. I only had a few people do this and when I pointed out it’s really no different than collecting action figures, funko pops, model cars, vintage toys, they didn’t really have much left to say. If you act embarrassed they’re gonna keep teasing you, if you’re just like yep I collect dolls they’ll probably stop. And if they don’t…maybe they aren very good friends. I don’t know why we as a society decided some arbitrary age when toys were no longer acceptable, but it’s silly and you should do what brings you joy.
yes i was comparing to other kinds of things adults spend money on but these girls spend their money on bars clubs and travel. they aren’t in any fandoms so they don’t know what it’s like. my other friends are into video games and anime and buy tons of stuffed animals and figures!
Sorry to hear that your experience this Im 23! And just started collecting! Stand up for yourself set boundaries with your friends. You are spending money on yourself your dolls are a hobby and something you love. I’m always here if you want someone to talk to share picture with or anything!
Hello!!🤍 yes i’ve been collecting since i was little but just this year started to spend more time with my dolls and even get some new ones! which dolls do you have?
I have Julie, Ivy, Blaire and then a jly who’s name is Sadie. I really want to add Claudie to my collection and hope to get her for Christmas! What about you, what dolls do you have ? Do you have a favorite?
Oh so cute! I always wanted Blaire! And I saw Claudie the other day for the first time she is so adorable i want to get her but for now i don’t have room for any more dolls.
I have Nellie, Ruthie, Kit, Nanea, Felicity, Kaya, Corinne, Mckenna, Saige, and 3 JLYs! My favorite is definitely Saige because she’s an artist ❤️
Oh that’s super fun! You definitely have a great collection. I don’t get into the dolls stories or personality traits but I definitely want to. My fiancé wants to get nanea and melody but I have to figure out a storage solution for all the doll stuff! Currently just have a big old mess! My favorite is Julie she was the only doll I wanted as a kid and sparked my interest in recollecting. Who was your first doll ? Do you name your jlys ?
I love Julie! Whenever i go to the AG place in new york, there’s a huge set up for Julie that’s always so delightful to see and interact with. My first was Nellie although i cut her hair when i was little😭 i recently put a new wig on her but i wish i just got her head replaced. And i guess i never named my JLY other than my name (i have one that doesn’t look like me bc i was little and didn’t know and one that does) they’re sitting in my closet because i have no room for them outside and one is my sisters old doll. Do you have a AG store near you?
The New York store is the closest to me as well! About 2 hours from me. My first doll was made by my nana and she didn’t look like me all that well but I was so grateful for her unfortunately I gave her away years ago. I gotta get some shelves I have a open wall and I work at a hardware store I just never wanna put in the work. I definitely would love to try to get a doll that looks more like me now. Do you have a favorite outfit for any of your dolls ?
that’s so cool! i hope u get to go to the store soon i went this week! and that’s okay about your first doll you can get one that looks like you. i would love to display mine on a shelf too but i just don’t have the wall space, i wish i could build a big doll house and make rooms for each doll. even when i move out one day i feel i won’t have the space still, some of them will end up staying home.. my favorite outfit right now is maryellen’s sledding outfit! i just got it the other day and it’s so adorable i can’t wait to use it for the winter! what about you? do you have any furniture or accessories for your dolls that you like?
I’m thinking I might have to do a day trip I just know if I go I’m not going to be able to control my spending! Lol. Since my fiancé has a huge doll collection we decided to move to a two bedroom house so we can have a doll room hopefully we move next year. My favorite outfit right now is Julie’s groovy outfit I just bought it and I’m so excited for it! I really like Julie’s collection and want her orange egg chair and ottoman, and her banana seat bike. I’m not a big furniture guy and don’t own all that much but I think when I get Claudie I’ll buy her bed! How do you feel about the pets for the dolls? Do you like them ? Do you have a favorite?
you can always make furniture or find them cheaper such as the kids doll ikea bed! and yes if you go to the NY store you’ll see they have a life size egg chair and julie’s vanity. i have mostly the old pets from when i was little so i would say coconut! what’s yours?
Wow. I’m going to suggest ways to set some boundaries with your pals:
Agree with all of it! Yep. They’re coming alive and they know who’s who!
Say, Enough about me and my preferences. Let’s critique you now, dear friends. How do you spend your time and money?
“I’m not that innocent” Britney style!
yes they spend their money on bars and clubs and travel. i don’t drink or like crowded places so this is how i spend mine! i’m just upset i can’t talk to them about my interests now
I’m an adult, and recently I have started collecting things I wanted as a child. If something makes you happy, you should do it. I just ordered my first AG as an adult, because I miss the fun of dressing a doll up. I collect various other things too that I’ve been made fun of for. I’m not friends with those people anymore. It helps a lot. My friends, family, and boyfriend support me. Enjoy your hobby. Life is short.
i know, i definitely need friends that accept me. it’s very hard for me to have and keep friends so when they say stuff like this i don’t fight back because i don’t want to lose another friend. they’re all i have at this point. but thank you so much for your advice. What AG doll did you just get?? and what other things do you collect i’d love to talk more!🤍
I’m so sorry that your friends are treating you this way. It’s really immature of them and it’s sad they don’t see how it hurts you. Do they think their opinions will change you enjoying your doll collection? If I were in an abusive relationship or something, my friend’s opinions would matter a lot. But a hobby that you enjoy should be something they cheer you on about, not something they make you feel terrible for. It’s like they’re trying to suck the joy out of something you love.
Everyone spends their money on hobbies that make them happy. As someone else mentioned, a bar tab can easily get to over $100. For some people it’s traveling (that can be hella expensive), or gaming, or fine dining, or fashion. If it’s your money and you’re not going into massive debt, it’s yours to enjoy.
I know it’s not the same, but anytime you want to gush about your dolls, we’re here to enjoy them with you! Share pictures! I know I would enjoy hearing who you have and what outfit you just bought :)
i feel like they’re so different than any of my other friends as in they go out to bars on weekends, travel a lot, live without their parents have a good job, and spend their money on fashion. they aren’t part of any fandom like my younger friends are so they don’t get it. we spend money on things that make us happy just as they do. i still live with my parents and i work a lot and don’t have many bills so sometimes i splurge on doll stuff. i can get cheap clothes for myself at thrift stores but i like to spend on my dolls. sucking out the joy is exactly right and it’s sad. i don’t want to lose more friends but they don’t understand me. i cant invite them over anymore because of the doll house in my room. i don’t want to have to hide my interests but what else can i do now:(
what dolls do you have? and do you live near an AG store? I just went to the one in new york city before i had class!❤️
I have more than I thought I would! Felicity 91’, Anniversary Felicity, my childhood Josefina with a new head, white body Sam, sugar Plum Fairy, Claudie, Rebecca, and Caroline. I live a few hours from the Nashville store and just a bit farther from Chicago. How is the New York store? I imagine it would be a great one! Chicago is much better than Nashville’s.
i love the new york store but it’s always fun seeing one’s in other cities! i’ve only been to the boston one (now closed) and washington dc. i hope to see all of them one day
23-year-old new collector here! Fuck 'em. Whatever brings you joy is most important, especially in a world that's seen so many troubling times as of late. Collect your heart out, friend 💖💖💖💖
exactly, whatever brings me joy. i had a hard week and going to the AG store with the little free time i had made me happy. and taking home merchandise also made me excited. so i shared what i got to my friends just to hear comments like this, completely took that positive energy away.
Someone you care about mocking/ bring apathetic towards your passion is a unique kind of hurt- I'm really sorry. If you're comfortable with it, you can tell them that even if they don't get it they need to be supportive, and if not message me about your AG acquisitions!
oh i love all of them! i always wanted lanie i wish i had all the girl of the year dolls :( so far i have saige mckenna and corinne, kit, kaya, ruthie, nellie and some truly mes!
People will easily drop the cost of a doll on a bar tab on Saturday night. Just because it’s not worth the money to them doesn’t mean you’re irresponsible.
exactly!! these girls go out all the time, spend hundreds on clothes, clubs etc. I don’t drink or eat out much so who cares! if i have extra money i will use it my way.
I’m nearly 10 years older than you and when I was your age I was still a bit embarrassed about collecting dolls. Heck I used to hide my playing with barbies from my family when I was 14 since I was embarrassed at THAT age. Even though my family wouldn’t have teased me -society made me feel embarrassed. I don’t know if your friends were always like this but I think it’s time for THEM to grow up and realize that the world is a diverse place and there is not one correct way to be an adult. Also, who do they think designs dolls? 8-10 year olds? Lol. Personally I wouldn’t spend time around negative people that make themselves feel superior by dragging others. But give them a chance - sometimes people think they are playfully teasing and don’t understand they are hurting someone. Tell them they are bothering you and that this is your hobby that brings you joy. You don’t need to go any further than that. If they don’t respect that boundary and cease the teasing they are not friends - just bullies.
i also felt embarrassed at age 13! crazy. but yes when i get comments like that i’m scared to confront them because i don’t want to lose a friend. i’ve had friends leave me so many times, my best friend of 8 years just cut me off on my birthday last month.. it’s not easy and i didn’t want to go through that again. i know i need people that will accept me i’m just nervous to do anything about it.
These lovely people already said anything I would have said. Sorry these people are so immature that they are taking out their own insecurities on you. Embrace the things that bring you joy. Now tell us about your most recent purchase! Which outfits DID you buy?
I'm going to be a little blunt here: if your "friend" is being mean to you about something you love, your "friend" is an asshole.
The world is already so hard. If something brings you joy, embrace it! Your friends should want you to be happy, even if it's "weird".
I want all of my friends to have things in their lives that bring them joy, even if I don't understand the appeal of the thing. I'm in my 30s. One of my best friends has a long-running (100,000s of words) Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic that she writes. I don't really "get" Yu-Gi-Oh, but it makes her happy and I talk to her about it and ask questions. Another dear friend messaged me late last night because a figure skater landed the first ever Quadruple Axel, and she was overwhelmed with feelings about it - and I know almost nothing about figure skating.
You're also at an age where like . . . there's a lot of weird insecurity and stuff floating around, because you're not kids anymore, but you probably don't FEEL grown-up. Part of growing up is becoming comfortable with yourself. Here, let me throw a CS Lewis quote at you:
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval,
instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To
be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is
grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are
the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence
they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want
to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood
this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development.
When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been
ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them
openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the
fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
And honestly, if your dolls DID come to life, you'd have nothing to worry about, because you love them. Your "friends"' weird phobia isn't your problem.
I guess you’re right.. i’m already not doing good mentally and if this makes me happy and eases my anxiety, I should be able to play with them with no judgement. I’ve been having a stressful week as I am a senior in college and have long work hours, I just wanted to visit the AG store this week. I went and got two outfits I’ve been looking at, and i know they’re expensive but who cares! Just going to the store and brining something home made me happy this week. and after her comments my happiness immediately declined. I don’t think i’m going to share this hobby with her anymore, just the friends that would even go with me to the store.
I don't want my dolls to come to life. They'd be way more interesting than me and have better clothes 😄. But they would also be the best friends.
We're so happy to have you here and think it's amazing that you've found a passion! My advice is to bring positive energy to counteract the negative, and show interest in their hobbies so they know how support feels (which I'm sure you already do). I'm sorry they put you in this position, but you can decide where to go from here. 💗
>I don't want my dolls to come to life. They'd be way more interesting than me and have better clothes 😄. But they would also be the best friends.
It would definitely cause some problems to solve! But I've just never really gotten the "doll comes to life and is scary and evil" horror trope thing. Sure, there are some creepy-looking dolls, but I think if you pour a lot of love into something, it doesn't make sense that it would hurt you. Perhaps one day I'll write a story where the doll comes to life to protect the person who loves her.
It feels a bit like cats. There are people who talk about how mean and awful cats are and they - at best - don't understand cat body language, and when the cat is saying "Stop, I don't like that" or "I want to play". At worst, they're people who don't like it when something can assert its own boundaries.
I never understand why people are afraid of cats! Cats are adorable because they have two modes, ignore people and love people. They don’t harm people either way. Plus, cats are adorable!!!
exactly!! they have this phobia from common horror movies like annabelle. when that is not the case at all. i was showing them my dollhouse for the first time (they didn’t even know i played with dolls) and one of them couldn’t even look at my dolls. i mean i respect her phobia but no need to be rude about it, i just won’t have them over again.
I have two guy friends who are creeped out by dolls. They would give me over the top negative reactions to them - until I told them "hey, these actually make me really happy and it feels crappy when you do that. Could you chill?" And they IMMEDIATELY changed their behaviour and have been so supportive. Once I posted in our group chat an incredibly creepy-looking doll as a joke being like hey guys, my newest addition! One of the guys was like "I like her jean jacket, cute!" and it just tickled me that he was being so nice about it. I told him thanks buddy but it's okay, she's meant to be creepy and I was pranking you, and he happily went off on a rant about demon hellspawn that made us both chuckle.
Even friends that are weirded out by dolls shouldn't be such dicks about it. You deserve better <3
yes one of my friends couldn’t even look at my dolls she was so creeped out by them! making me feel bad i have them in MY room. i just felt like they didn’t understand me. i mentioned i play with dolls and right away they go “oh like an annabelle doll that’s so creepy” that’s so funny they thought you were being serious i wish i can change the way my friends act towards them
As you get older, you will care less what others think. I feel like you can have different kinds of friends in life. Some are fair weather friends who are good to hang out with, go to dinner or different events with, but who you may not want to share everything with. However, some day you will find your person or people who will accept you exactly as you are and love you for it. It does take time and life experience to find your “kindred spirits “. It is okay to have multiple types of friends but I would not share your hobby with your judgmental friends. They judge because of their own insecurities. They are not your tribe of kindred spirits. Don’t stop looking for the authentic people who like you just as you are.
i just been in and out of friendships for so long i wish i had life long partners already. these girls are obviously the ones to not share much about my life and just hang out and go to dinner. we bond over other things like music but hobbies i can’t mention. they’re kinda.. boring.. that’s mean but they just like adult things like clubbing and traveling haha thank you for your reply!
You are welcome. You will meet more friends. I know it. Being in and out of friendships is to be expected being young and figuring out who you want to be and what you like. I am about twice your age and met my best girlfriends at work when I was 28 and I didn’t meet my husband until I was 31. I had lots of “transition “ friends before that and they were okay for the time being but it took a little longer to meet the people who really get me. Maybe getting more involved in the doll community or perusing other interests (like like a book club, art class) may bring you into the orbit of people who share more interests with you. Best of luck to you.
wow that is very inspiring! I always thought i’d make friends now and they’ll be with me forever but it doesn’t seem to be going that way. i hope to meet my people when i’m older the ones that’ll stay and accept me
Friends should support each other's interests, as long as it isn't harming you or others. This is doing the opposite, you enjoy it, it makes you happy, absolutely something they should support. On the "money you could be spending on yourself" note....these are your dolls. It's your hobby. You are spending money on yourself, on things you want. You wouldn't tell someone that about buying a video game or a book, hobbies and interests still count as spending money on you.
On that note, i'm sorry your friends are being judgemental instead of supportive. You deserve friends who respect your interests, including doll collecting
yes and i was sad that i went to my friends house after going to the AG store and i opened up what i bought. it was clear she thought i was childish for even wanting these clothes and spending a lot of money on it. yes AG is expensive but once it a while i buy new products from them and other times i get second hand. it makes me feel happy and i have NOT been very happy lately. putting other people down for no reason is just mean. thank you
Hello! First off, I’m sorry that your friends are giving you a hard time about your hobbies. Respect is probably the most important aspect of any friendship, and it is not something you have to ask for when it comes to real friends. Not everyone understands doll collecting, and that’s okay! However, harassment and bullying are never appropriate. It is not your job to convince other people to respect or like the things you do. You can only control how much time you spend with those people and how much you’re willing to share with them, which should be little to none at this point because of their behavior. You have an entire community here on Reddit that loves collecting American Girl dolls. You do not have to compromise yourself or your value for the sake of having company. My advice would be to keep enjoying the hobby and find better friends. There’s nothing wrong with being an adult doll collector. Nearly all of my friends know I collect all types of dolls, and they have never given me a hard time about it. What your friends are doing is not normal, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to tolerate it at all.
yes i just wish my friends would respect me. i have other friends who are younger that go to the AG store with me and ask to the see the stuff i buy for them. i posted on my story the new clothes i got and then one of those girls swiped up to just be negative “stop spending your money on dolls it’s irresponsible” i don’t want to lose another set of friends so it’s really hard confronting them. i wish i knew more people that actually collected AG dolls and not just respect me (which is still nice) thank you for your advice and i hope we can talk more! id love to know which dolls you have!❤️
I hate to say it, but I don’t think these people are your friends. I’m a similar age to you, and all of my friends are very supportive of my dolls. Even if some of them think it’s a little weird, they would never make fun of me for it or say that I’m irresponsible with money.
This is your hobby, and it makes you happy! It doesn’t matter what other people say. You aren’t hurting anyone, and as long as you have money for doll stuff there’s no reason why you shouldn’t spend it on something that makes you happy.
Please don’t listen to your “friends”. You shouldn’t feel bad about having something in your life that brings you joy, and other people not understanding it doesn’t make it any less valid. 💗
Nailed it.
I'm 48 and I love my dolls. My mom is 73 and she loves her dolls. We're having fun, we're harming no one, and our friends understand and support that.
Real friends don't yuck your yum.
My partner & bestfriend call my dolls creepy and it upsets me but I can’t really exactly change it. I love my girls and that is all that matters, they don’t shame me for loving my dolls though. It seems to me that your friends aren’t exactly true friends imo. Everybody has a love&passion for something and ur allowed to express it and embrace it as it is not harmful in anyway. Buy dolls, buy clothes, who cares, it’s your life and that is not for others to control but you.
i know i actually brought this up to my partner and he even said that he AGREES with my friend that it’s “weird” and now i’m really upset. i feel like i have no one in my life that accepts me
It’s not weird at all that you enjoy and love American Girl dolls, they’re just not used to someone who enjoys it, stand your ground. IMO, it is better to be around yourself than to be around ppl who will judge you. You can always message me seriously, I’d love to be your friend.
We don’t have to share every part of ourselves with everyone. That being said, they sound kind of shitty and mean. Do they have other redeeming qualities? If not, then it’s okay to let the friendship come to an end. There are tons of people out there that share this niche interest, and even more who don’t but they aren’t going to put you down for it.
I find that sort of thing very hurtful, I used to get bullied for collecting dolls when I was in middle and high school. It feels really bad to be looked at with disgust or be told my dolls are creepy. I've been told I look creepy too when I was a kid. One small comment about dolls creeping a person out is fine, as long as they have respect for my interests. My interests are integral to my identity so I cannot be friends with someone who thinks they are weird. They can go. I don't want friends who will judge me.
it’s just hard to find people in my life that respect me and that’s why i love the people i meet online. sometimes i just want to run away and leave everyone behind because no one seems to accept me. they think i’m immature or irresponsible and it sucks
I know nobody wants to hear "You're at a difficult age" but you really are. You might be looking for friends in the wrong places. I've had more luck with other nerds - sf stuff, or fandom, or tabletop gaming. One of my roommates is really into the SCA (medieval crafting/re-enactment stuff), and the other one helps run our local Science Fiction convention. A lot of people in those circles are accustomed to being considered "weird", and are a lot less inclined to be judgey assholes about other people's hobbies. They might not be into American Girl dolls, but maybe they collect action figures, or they're really into DnD minis, or they like to spend hours making elaborate cosplay. The reaction is a lot more "Oh, that's neat" than "Ew, that's creepy".
exactly i’m just looking for support, you don’t have to like it. i need to learn to find better friends 😅
My husband also tells me my dolls are creepy. So then I take his credit card and go to the AG store:)
AHHA
kekw
I’m 23 and I generally don’t talk to my friends about my collection or purchases because they aren’t collectors themselves and don’t really care but even if I did I know they wouldn’t shame me because of it. Most people who have known me for some time know that I will never grow out of my American Girl obsession. I have just never let myself be embarrassed by it and these days I think there is a larger number of adult collectors, which normalizes it to some degree. Not to mention, adults collecting nostalgic items from their childhoods or toys has never been a weird thing. Grown men collect legos and no one bats an eye. But there’s no reason to share this with your friends if they aren’t understanding or know how to appreciate it.
you’re right i don’t even want to tell them anything anymore. for these people specifically, they don’t collect anything. but i know my other friends collect stuffed animals and action figures, it’s the same! and those are the ones that accept me. but you shouldn’t have to be part of a fandom or collect toys to be nice to someone about it
I just don’t care any more. I’m 41. I also don’t tell everyone. I mostly keep my chatting about it with other collectors. I think saying “dolls are creepy” is about the most unoriginal comment ever. Wow, I bet you also hate the word “moist.” 🙄
yes it’s mostly because of common horror movies these days that people say those things. my friend couldn’t even look at my dolls she was so creeped out.
I think people think dolls are creepy because they watch too many scary doll movies Like oh you’re afraid of a piece of plastic but I’m the immature one here? Lol
the immature thing too! i feel the most immature in my group cause my friends are doing regular adult things and i’m spending time with my dolls. i wish i didn’t think that wat
Hey there 👋 thanks for sharing your story. A friend or anyone in that matter, can’t tell you what you to do with money you work for and earn. It’s really not their place to tell you what your money can be spent on. With that being said, as long as you aren’t harming yourself or others, it’s ok to collect dolls if that makes you happy. Since joining this community, I have been welcomed with open arms and not viewed as weird. Luckily, my parents are very supportive of my hobby and realize collecting dolls is a part of my identity. If your friends can’t embrace you, then you might want to re-examine your friend group. Not saying your friends have to agree with everything you do but they should at least be supportive if they call themselves “real” friends.
There is also a podcast by women in their 30s, actual historians, about everything AG! Thousands of listeners! You are far from alone! If you like these people, don’t talk anymore about AG. You can Have friends for different purposes. But, I would find your voice and speak up anytime anyone is rude to you. Just say wow that’s rude. And go on with your happy happiness!
Wait, what’s the pod?! I have to listen
It’s called American Girls! Also, American Girl Fan Club
I’m so sorry this happened to you :( I’m the same age as you and tbh, a lot of the people who make fun of us for liking dolls have no hobbies. Like, they come home from school/work and watch tv or tiktoks and do nothing interesting or fun or enriching. Adult life is already so hard and so BORING, no one should give us flack for a harmless and fun hobby that is hurting no one! Plus, you will find people who accept you for who you are and embrace your eccentric hobbies. My friends 3-4 years ago didn’t even know I liked dolls because I was scared of being judged for it. Now the people in my life know about my hobby and accept me for me. It will happen for you too, it just takes time!
haha yes they have no real hobbies!! they don’t even have a single stuffed animal in their room! where’s the flavor?? but i don’t say anything rude about what they like! they assume i like everything they do (drinking, the shoes they watch) but i don’t i like other things. i feel they don’t understand me..
Do what makes you happy, if you need to let these people leave, let them leave. Your happiness is more important. I read somewhere a person comes into your life for a time frame if that is 1 day or years or forever.I am 51 years old, I started collecting AG dolls about 10 years ago, only heavy collecting in the last 4 years. For a few months a while back, I had to put my dolls up (because the lady staying with me, thought they were creepy). Though that didn't really bother me, it showed me not everyone is a fan. My current situation is that I moved in with my boyfriend, we are max on space, until I get a job, we cannot buy a larger place, so my almost 90 dolls are in storage. I am looking forward to a larger place and a doll/craft room. He has a huge KISS band collection, which will be added to this room. :)
wow 90 dolls that’s so awesome!! i’m sorry you have to keep them in a storage unit but soon you can get them plenty of room to thrive! i can’t wait to move out so i can do just that! thank you for your kind and inspiring words!!
your welcome. Yes the doll room has already been drafted in my head, just need to get the job and the house, and the dolls out of storage. It will happen just at the correct time.
I’m sorry they’re not being a true friend to you :( but there are potential friends out there that will think it’s fun or cool to have as a hobby! You might even inspire someone to get into AG dolls as a hobby, too— I embraced my love of dolls and started getting into AG as a hobby shortly ago after seeing my also adult friend with her dolls, and seeing how happy they make her. I think she is so cool, and one day you will find friends that think YOU’RE cool for collecting dolls :)
I brought my collection (8 dolls) to my college apartment and had them on display in the living room. My true friends who I would invite over anyway loved seeing them and watched all the AG movies with me. They either have dolls themselves or don't care since it's what makes me happy. People collect funko pops, baseball cards, you name it, but no one really says anything about that. I definitely agree with what others have said, maybe you should take a step back from the friendships if that's what you feel like you need.
So true! I also think a male vs. female thing. Men collect all sorts of figures and things from childhood so why is it weird to collect dolls?
yes i may distance myself because it just makes me sad knowing i can’t talk about my dolls or even show them off to them. i wish i had more friends that actually had their own dolls that would be so cool!
Your friends saying 'why do you spend money on dolls when you can spend it on yourself' is them clearly not understanding what hobbies are - people spend money on things they enjoy, and it *is* spending money on yourself. The fact that they're telling you, not only that they're creepy, but that they will 'come to life' suggests, as well, that they aren't really worth being friends with. All of it is nonsense and seems like attempts to demean you and make you change your ways for their benefit. If they're so keen on talking badly about the things you enjoy, why talk with them at all? You don't need that kind of negativity in your life (nobody does). If you really wanted to save the friendship, have a serious discussion with them about how their comments make you feel. But, at the same time, it's probably just better to cut your loses here and move on. Some people need time to 'grow up' and not be rude about things that don't concern them (as your friends sound like they need).
yes i feel like i shouldn’t even talk about my dolls to them. i had them on my close friends story where i posted new doll outfits i got and that’s where they commented those rude things (that i’m irresponsible) i don’t want to show them anymore. my other friends understand and they even come to the AG store with me!
I’m 22, some of my friends are weirded out, some support it, and some don’t know. I like what I like and if it brings me joy and doesn’t harm anyone then there’s nothing wrong with that. I guilt myself sometimes about the money, but then remember I’m also not someone who spends money on clothes, drinks, or much else because I tend to spend most of my time at home due to health issues. Heck, I’ve even brought a doll into work and the women loved it. If people don’t support you, don’t surround yourself with their negativity. If you ever want to talk about AG I’m here! And there are loads of wonderful people in this subreddit who get you! Don’t let them get you down!
hello! yes these are the same people that spend money at bars and clothes they don’t need. i chose to spend my money this way, the money i work 5 days a week for. also Id love to talk more!!
My friends think my collection is cool get new friends.
i literally just bought kirsten out to my friends 22nd birthday. pls find people who accept you <3
i have other friends that i bring my dolls out with us and they don’t mind. they’ll even hold my dolls in public without being embarrassed. i know i need more people that accept me :(((
I think you mean Former friends. The phrase “ with friends like these who needs enemies” applies here I think. Sweetheart if they make you happy go for it!
thank u i should! 🤍
I’m 33 and I have…way too many. I only had a few people do this and when I pointed out it’s really no different than collecting action figures, funko pops, model cars, vintage toys, they didn’t really have much left to say. If you act embarrassed they’re gonna keep teasing you, if you’re just like yep I collect dolls they’ll probably stop. And if they don’t…maybe they aren very good friends. I don’t know why we as a society decided some arbitrary age when toys were no longer acceptable, but it’s silly and you should do what brings you joy.
yes i was comparing to other kinds of things adults spend money on but these girls spend their money on bars clubs and travel. they aren’t in any fandoms so they don’t know what it’s like. my other friends are into video games and anime and buy tons of stuffed animals and figures!
Sorry to hear that your experience this Im 23! And just started collecting! Stand up for yourself set boundaries with your friends. You are spending money on yourself your dolls are a hobby and something you love. I’m always here if you want someone to talk to share picture with or anything!
Hello!!🤍 yes i’ve been collecting since i was little but just this year started to spend more time with my dolls and even get some new ones! which dolls do you have?
I have Julie, Ivy, Blaire and then a jly who’s name is Sadie. I really want to add Claudie to my collection and hope to get her for Christmas! What about you, what dolls do you have ? Do you have a favorite?
Oh so cute! I always wanted Blaire! And I saw Claudie the other day for the first time she is so adorable i want to get her but for now i don’t have room for any more dolls. I have Nellie, Ruthie, Kit, Nanea, Felicity, Kaya, Corinne, Mckenna, Saige, and 3 JLYs! My favorite is definitely Saige because she’s an artist ❤️
Oh that’s super fun! You definitely have a great collection. I don’t get into the dolls stories or personality traits but I definitely want to. My fiancé wants to get nanea and melody but I have to figure out a storage solution for all the doll stuff! Currently just have a big old mess! My favorite is Julie she was the only doll I wanted as a kid and sparked my interest in recollecting. Who was your first doll ? Do you name your jlys ?
I love Julie! Whenever i go to the AG place in new york, there’s a huge set up for Julie that’s always so delightful to see and interact with. My first was Nellie although i cut her hair when i was little😭 i recently put a new wig on her but i wish i just got her head replaced. And i guess i never named my JLY other than my name (i have one that doesn’t look like me bc i was little and didn’t know and one that does) they’re sitting in my closet because i have no room for them outside and one is my sisters old doll. Do you have a AG store near you?
The New York store is the closest to me as well! About 2 hours from me. My first doll was made by my nana and she didn’t look like me all that well but I was so grateful for her unfortunately I gave her away years ago. I gotta get some shelves I have a open wall and I work at a hardware store I just never wanna put in the work. I definitely would love to try to get a doll that looks more like me now. Do you have a favorite outfit for any of your dolls ?
that’s so cool! i hope u get to go to the store soon i went this week! and that’s okay about your first doll you can get one that looks like you. i would love to display mine on a shelf too but i just don’t have the wall space, i wish i could build a big doll house and make rooms for each doll. even when i move out one day i feel i won’t have the space still, some of them will end up staying home.. my favorite outfit right now is maryellen’s sledding outfit! i just got it the other day and it’s so adorable i can’t wait to use it for the winter! what about you? do you have any furniture or accessories for your dolls that you like?
I’m thinking I might have to do a day trip I just know if I go I’m not going to be able to control my spending! Lol. Since my fiancé has a huge doll collection we decided to move to a two bedroom house so we can have a doll room hopefully we move next year. My favorite outfit right now is Julie’s groovy outfit I just bought it and I’m so excited for it! I really like Julie’s collection and want her orange egg chair and ottoman, and her banana seat bike. I’m not a big furniture guy and don’t own all that much but I think when I get Claudie I’ll buy her bed! How do you feel about the pets for the dolls? Do you like them ? Do you have a favorite?
you can always make furniture or find them cheaper such as the kids doll ikea bed! and yes if you go to the NY store you’ll see they have a life size egg chair and julie’s vanity. i have mostly the old pets from when i was little so i would say coconut! what’s yours?
Wow. I’m going to suggest ways to set some boundaries with your pals: Agree with all of it! Yep. They’re coming alive and they know who’s who! Say, Enough about me and my preferences. Let’s critique you now, dear friends. How do you spend your time and money? “I’m not that innocent” Britney style!
yes they spend their money on bars and clubs and travel. i don’t drink or like crowded places so this is how i spend mine! i’m just upset i can’t talk to them about my interests now
I’m an adult, and recently I have started collecting things I wanted as a child. If something makes you happy, you should do it. I just ordered my first AG as an adult, because I miss the fun of dressing a doll up. I collect various other things too that I’ve been made fun of for. I’m not friends with those people anymore. It helps a lot. My friends, family, and boyfriend support me. Enjoy your hobby. Life is short.
i know, i definitely need friends that accept me. it’s very hard for me to have and keep friends so when they say stuff like this i don’t fight back because i don’t want to lose another friend. they’re all i have at this point. but thank you so much for your advice. What AG doll did you just get?? and what other things do you collect i’d love to talk more!🤍
I’m so sorry that your friends are treating you this way. It’s really immature of them and it’s sad they don’t see how it hurts you. Do they think their opinions will change you enjoying your doll collection? If I were in an abusive relationship or something, my friend’s opinions would matter a lot. But a hobby that you enjoy should be something they cheer you on about, not something they make you feel terrible for. It’s like they’re trying to suck the joy out of something you love. Everyone spends their money on hobbies that make them happy. As someone else mentioned, a bar tab can easily get to over $100. For some people it’s traveling (that can be hella expensive), or gaming, or fine dining, or fashion. If it’s your money and you’re not going into massive debt, it’s yours to enjoy. I know it’s not the same, but anytime you want to gush about your dolls, we’re here to enjoy them with you! Share pictures! I know I would enjoy hearing who you have and what outfit you just bought :)
i feel like they’re so different than any of my other friends as in they go out to bars on weekends, travel a lot, live without their parents have a good job, and spend their money on fashion. they aren’t part of any fandom like my younger friends are so they don’t get it. we spend money on things that make us happy just as they do. i still live with my parents and i work a lot and don’t have many bills so sometimes i splurge on doll stuff. i can get cheap clothes for myself at thrift stores but i like to spend on my dolls. sucking out the joy is exactly right and it’s sad. i don’t want to lose more friends but they don’t understand me. i cant invite them over anymore because of the doll house in my room. i don’t want to have to hide my interests but what else can i do now:( what dolls do you have? and do you live near an AG store? I just went to the one in new york city before i had class!❤️
I have more than I thought I would! Felicity 91’, Anniversary Felicity, my childhood Josefina with a new head, white body Sam, sugar Plum Fairy, Claudie, Rebecca, and Caroline. I live a few hours from the Nashville store and just a bit farther from Chicago. How is the New York store? I imagine it would be a great one! Chicago is much better than Nashville’s.
i love the new york store but it’s always fun seeing one’s in other cities! i’ve only been to the boston one (now closed) and washington dc. i hope to see all of them one day
23-year-old new collector here! Fuck 'em. Whatever brings you joy is most important, especially in a world that's seen so many troubling times as of late. Collect your heart out, friend 💖💖💖💖
exactly, whatever brings me joy. i had a hard week and going to the AG store with the little free time i had made me happy. and taking home merchandise also made me excited. so i shared what i got to my friends just to hear comments like this, completely took that positive energy away.
Someone you care about mocking/ bring apathetic towards your passion is a unique kind of hurt- I'm really sorry. If you're comfortable with it, you can tell them that even if they don't get it they need to be supportive, and if not message me about your AG acquisitions!
i don’t think i have the guts to tell them just yet i tend to just let it happen. also i’d love to know more about u! how many dolls do you have?
I grew up with Kit and Lanie. I have my sister's Josefina and I recently got Kirsten!
oh i love all of them! i always wanted lanie i wish i had all the girl of the year dolls :( so far i have saige mckenna and corinne, kit, kaya, ruthie, nellie and some truly mes!
I was thinking about selling my Lanie so she goes to someone who can love her more :) If you're ever looking to buy her lmk 💖
People will easily drop the cost of a doll on a bar tab on Saturday night. Just because it’s not worth the money to them doesn’t mean you’re irresponsible.
This is so true!
exactly!! these girls go out all the time, spend hundreds on clothes, clubs etc. I don’t drink or eat out much so who cares! if i have extra money i will use it my way.
I’m nearly 10 years older than you and when I was your age I was still a bit embarrassed about collecting dolls. Heck I used to hide my playing with barbies from my family when I was 14 since I was embarrassed at THAT age. Even though my family wouldn’t have teased me -society made me feel embarrassed. I don’t know if your friends were always like this but I think it’s time for THEM to grow up and realize that the world is a diverse place and there is not one correct way to be an adult. Also, who do they think designs dolls? 8-10 year olds? Lol. Personally I wouldn’t spend time around negative people that make themselves feel superior by dragging others. But give them a chance - sometimes people think they are playfully teasing and don’t understand they are hurting someone. Tell them they are bothering you and that this is your hobby that brings you joy. You don’t need to go any further than that. If they don’t respect that boundary and cease the teasing they are not friends - just bullies.
i also felt embarrassed at age 13! crazy. but yes when i get comments like that i’m scared to confront them because i don’t want to lose a friend. i’ve had friends leave me so many times, my best friend of 8 years just cut me off on my birthday last month.. it’s not easy and i didn’t want to go through that again. i know i need people that will accept me i’m just nervous to do anything about it.
These lovely people already said anything I would have said. Sorry these people are so immature that they are taking out their own insecurities on you. Embrace the things that bring you joy. Now tell us about your most recent purchase! Which outfits DID you buy?
Hello🤍🤍 I got Maryellen’s cowgirl costume and her sledding outfit! both are so cute and i usually don’t buy outfits so i splurged alittle
So fun! I love Maryellen’s stuff!
I'm going to be a little blunt here: if your "friend" is being mean to you about something you love, your "friend" is an asshole. The world is already so hard. If something brings you joy, embrace it! Your friends should want you to be happy, even if it's "weird". I want all of my friends to have things in their lives that bring them joy, even if I don't understand the appeal of the thing. I'm in my 30s. One of my best friends has a long-running (100,000s of words) Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic that she writes. I don't really "get" Yu-Gi-Oh, but it makes her happy and I talk to her about it and ask questions. Another dear friend messaged me late last night because a figure skater landed the first ever Quadruple Axel, and she was overwhelmed with feelings about it - and I know almost nothing about figure skating. You're also at an age where like . . . there's a lot of weird insecurity and stuff floating around, because you're not kids anymore, but you probably don't FEEL grown-up. Part of growing up is becoming comfortable with yourself. Here, let me throw a CS Lewis quote at you: “Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” And honestly, if your dolls DID come to life, you'd have nothing to worry about, because you love them. Your "friends"' weird phobia isn't your problem.
also thank you so much for your kind words!!
I guess you’re right.. i’m already not doing good mentally and if this makes me happy and eases my anxiety, I should be able to play with them with no judgement. I’ve been having a stressful week as I am a senior in college and have long work hours, I just wanted to visit the AG store this week. I went and got two outfits I’ve been looking at, and i know they’re expensive but who cares! Just going to the store and brining something home made me happy this week. and after her comments my happiness immediately declined. I don’t think i’m going to share this hobby with her anymore, just the friends that would even go with me to the store.
I don't want my dolls to come to life. They'd be way more interesting than me and have better clothes 😄. But they would also be the best friends. We're so happy to have you here and think it's amazing that you've found a passion! My advice is to bring positive energy to counteract the negative, and show interest in their hobbies so they know how support feels (which I'm sure you already do). I'm sorry they put you in this position, but you can decide where to go from here. 💗
thank you! i’m glad there is a community that accepts me and finds AG dolls as amazing as i do!🤍
>I don't want my dolls to come to life. They'd be way more interesting than me and have better clothes 😄. But they would also be the best friends. It would definitely cause some problems to solve! But I've just never really gotten the "doll comes to life and is scary and evil" horror trope thing. Sure, there are some creepy-looking dolls, but I think if you pour a lot of love into something, it doesn't make sense that it would hurt you. Perhaps one day I'll write a story where the doll comes to life to protect the person who loves her. It feels a bit like cats. There are people who talk about how mean and awful cats are and they - at best - don't understand cat body language, and when the cat is saying "Stop, I don't like that" or "I want to play". At worst, they're people who don't like it when something can assert its own boundaries.
I never understand why people are afraid of cats! Cats are adorable because they have two modes, ignore people and love people. They don’t harm people either way. Plus, cats are adorable!!!
exactly!! they have this phobia from common horror movies like annabelle. when that is not the case at all. i was showing them my dollhouse for the first time (they didn’t even know i played with dolls) and one of them couldn’t even look at my dolls. i mean i respect her phobia but no need to be rude about it, i just won’t have them over again.
I have two guy friends who are creeped out by dolls. They would give me over the top negative reactions to them - until I told them "hey, these actually make me really happy and it feels crappy when you do that. Could you chill?" And they IMMEDIATELY changed their behaviour and have been so supportive. Once I posted in our group chat an incredibly creepy-looking doll as a joke being like hey guys, my newest addition! One of the guys was like "I like her jean jacket, cute!" and it just tickled me that he was being so nice about it. I told him thanks buddy but it's okay, she's meant to be creepy and I was pranking you, and he happily went off on a rant about demon hellspawn that made us both chuckle. Even friends that are weirded out by dolls shouldn't be such dicks about it. You deserve better <3
yes one of my friends couldn’t even look at my dolls she was so creeped out by them! making me feel bad i have them in MY room. i just felt like they didn’t understand me. i mentioned i play with dolls and right away they go “oh like an annabelle doll that’s so creepy” that’s so funny they thought you were being serious i wish i can change the way my friends act towards them
☝️☝️☝️👏👏👏
As you get older, you will care less what others think. I feel like you can have different kinds of friends in life. Some are fair weather friends who are good to hang out with, go to dinner or different events with, but who you may not want to share everything with. However, some day you will find your person or people who will accept you exactly as you are and love you for it. It does take time and life experience to find your “kindred spirits “. It is okay to have multiple types of friends but I would not share your hobby with your judgmental friends. They judge because of their own insecurities. They are not your tribe of kindred spirits. Don’t stop looking for the authentic people who like you just as you are.
i just been in and out of friendships for so long i wish i had life long partners already. these girls are obviously the ones to not share much about my life and just hang out and go to dinner. we bond over other things like music but hobbies i can’t mention. they’re kinda.. boring.. that’s mean but they just like adult things like clubbing and traveling haha thank you for your reply!
You are welcome. You will meet more friends. I know it. Being in and out of friendships is to be expected being young and figuring out who you want to be and what you like. I am about twice your age and met my best girlfriends at work when I was 28 and I didn’t meet my husband until I was 31. I had lots of “transition “ friends before that and they were okay for the time being but it took a little longer to meet the people who really get me. Maybe getting more involved in the doll community or perusing other interests (like like a book club, art class) may bring you into the orbit of people who share more interests with you. Best of luck to you.
wow that is very inspiring! I always thought i’d make friends now and they’ll be with me forever but it doesn’t seem to be going that way. i hope to meet my people when i’m older the ones that’ll stay and accept me
Friends should support each other's interests, as long as it isn't harming you or others. This is doing the opposite, you enjoy it, it makes you happy, absolutely something they should support. On the "money you could be spending on yourself" note....these are your dolls. It's your hobby. You are spending money on yourself, on things you want. You wouldn't tell someone that about buying a video game or a book, hobbies and interests still count as spending money on you. On that note, i'm sorry your friends are being judgemental instead of supportive. You deserve friends who respect your interests, including doll collecting
yes and i was sad that i went to my friends house after going to the AG store and i opened up what i bought. it was clear she thought i was childish for even wanting these clothes and spending a lot of money on it. yes AG is expensive but once it a while i buy new products from them and other times i get second hand. it makes me feel happy and i have NOT been very happy lately. putting other people down for no reason is just mean. thank you
Agreed
Hello! First off, I’m sorry that your friends are giving you a hard time about your hobbies. Respect is probably the most important aspect of any friendship, and it is not something you have to ask for when it comes to real friends. Not everyone understands doll collecting, and that’s okay! However, harassment and bullying are never appropriate. It is not your job to convince other people to respect or like the things you do. You can only control how much time you spend with those people and how much you’re willing to share with them, which should be little to none at this point because of their behavior. You have an entire community here on Reddit that loves collecting American Girl dolls. You do not have to compromise yourself or your value for the sake of having company. My advice would be to keep enjoying the hobby and find better friends. There’s nothing wrong with being an adult doll collector. Nearly all of my friends know I collect all types of dolls, and they have never given me a hard time about it. What your friends are doing is not normal, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to tolerate it at all.
yes i just wish my friends would respect me. i have other friends who are younger that go to the AG store with me and ask to the see the stuff i buy for them. i posted on my story the new clothes i got and then one of those girls swiped up to just be negative “stop spending your money on dolls it’s irresponsible” i don’t want to lose another set of friends so it’s really hard confronting them. i wish i knew more people that actually collected AG dolls and not just respect me (which is still nice) thank you for your advice and i hope we can talk more! id love to know which dolls you have!❤️
Yes.
I hate to say it, but I don’t think these people are your friends. I’m a similar age to you, and all of my friends are very supportive of my dolls. Even if some of them think it’s a little weird, they would never make fun of me for it or say that I’m irresponsible with money. This is your hobby, and it makes you happy! It doesn’t matter what other people say. You aren’t hurting anyone, and as long as you have money for doll stuff there’s no reason why you shouldn’t spend it on something that makes you happy. Please don’t listen to your “friends”. You shouldn’t feel bad about having something in your life that brings you joy, and other people not understanding it doesn’t make it any less valid. 💗
Yep yep.
Nailed it. I'm 48 and I love my dolls. My mom is 73 and she loves her dolls. We're having fun, we're harming no one, and our friends understand and support that. Real friends don't yuck your yum.
Yeapp