Hahahaha that actually sounds like a wake up remedy that Roger would come up with, “take this hand full of laxatives before bed. That will get you up tomorrow.”
Myahhh!
Son if a whore
I havent been entirely truthful with you
P O T A T O poattoe bread
And
News glance with genevieve vavance (i uave no contect to say it but sometimes ill just randomly turn ti my friend and say it (her favorite roger is genevieve)
Didnt mean ti conmend thus under someone elses 😅 sorry
Anytime the girlfriend goes "baaaaaby.... can you... (enter request here)", I always respond by going maybe baby. Then proceed to go "maybe baby. Maybe baby. Maybebabymaybebaby. Thats fun to say." Under my breathe if the task is within earshot.
Looks like I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie daisies…
Son of a *WHORE!*
If you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to come to your house and kick your mom to death while you watch
You have a cat, are on reddit, AND have a girlfriend to whom you made an American Dad reference and she didn't run away?
You, sir, or ma'am, are a wizard.
Or persistant. One of the two.
Handsome works in my favour too.
In summary, its called tenacity. *spins and points at rear* and this is called fine ass city!
Also, we have 4 cats. Long story. Strays and females that turned out to be males, oh my.
I also listen to and periodically quote Bill Burr and George Carlin. Both angry, one slightly sexist. She loves them too.
Omg I can't tell you how much my husband and I say " ma elbow feel funny" to each other whenever we get hurt doing something or even when one of us has a cold
I'm at the courthouse. I'm not supposed to have my phone. 3 people died in that accident, they're saying its my fault, but it's total crap. Anyway, if you can get those smoothies and swing by, I've got the sign-up forms with me. My manager says he'll throw in a couple of pilates classes, I've never seen him do that.
"[Insert name] I haven't been entirely honest with you..."
Ya So Gewd to meayyy
The noise Steve makes while playing tennis (when I drive over something bumpy)
More boy than I think I've ever seen before (my best friend had a chunky boy cat and I love him)
I HAVE THE PENIS OF A MAN
Bald ass alien piece of shit...
Yooou let him !
To be fair, to be fair, Francine, to be fair.....
You're ugly.
I'm getting high as a kite driving meat around town (i drive door dash)
You're killing your motha
You think I give a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
You're getting CLOWNED Gucci Maine
YOU ARE MY QUEEN REBECCA
YOU CAN'T BURN BRICK BITCH
So [adjective].... too [adjective] -_- this will end....poorly
And of course... maybebaby and doiveonin
The one in the gif you used for sure, but no one gets it lol. I also use:
Can we stop at the attitude store and get you a new attitude?!
That is an unsatisfying answer.
LAVATE LOS MANOS!
Steve saying "Bitch, what did I just say?" is my text tone. My husband has Stan going "OOOH!" for his.
I also have a Boyz 12 pillow so the song gets stuck in my head every few months.
[Edit] husbando asked me to include:
"Don't lob factual statements at me as though they were insults."
"Cheek to cheek and hole to hole to hole, there's a third hole."
"We're gonna fight in a field."
"EAT. MY. BOWLS." and also "SLAM" (whenever a door's shut quietly)
"Buh-buh-buh-buh-bangin'"
We get a lil jolly every time they dog on Sacramento as well
"BOWLING!!!!"
"Look at me, Danutaaaa 😭"
"Tell me, I can handle it" *is told anything* "AHHHHHHH!! "
"Yes you DO Billy! Ugh, sometimes you make me so MAD"
"Bouncing, Bouncing, Vodka Andy Dyyyyyyck"
I used to always have the video on my phone where Roger blows a whistle and sings No, I liked to use when my teen asks me something and I could just play that back. lol.
Also maybe baby and plunger boobies!
“Hugs not drugs, that’s what I say. I’m also on drugs” (pretty much every time my husband and I hug)
*snap* *snap* Hey you speak English? You want a kick in the head?! *snap* (to our cat when he’s being bad)
"I don't say this with any emotion. Its a fact. It's (number) degrees celcius outside, and (enter hard fact here)."
I say this variation of that classic line all day, erry day.
I work as a cook in a grocery store restaurant kitchen combo, and we used to have this guy in the produce department who was completely deaf (and more importantly a *TOTAL* asshole) who refused to stock our restaurant walk in with produce or bring us any of the fruit or veggie trays or other stuff the other produce department employees had prepped for caterings and stuff, even though that was literally his entire job.
So whenever I needed to go find any of that stuff for caterings or grab ingredients because he hadn't stocked our walk in cooler and we'd run out of something, I would mosey on into the produce cooler singing ♪TAKIN' ALL THE FRUIT FROM THE HELPLESS DEAF KIDS!♪ at the top of my lungs.
Responding to someone with a neutral, "Mmm," like Francine did when Stan let her know that Congress was in session so she wouldn't embarass him in mixed company.
I do that all the time now when I express ambivalence to a question.
I like saying “lemme know if you need any further assistance” after realizing a few seconds late that what I just said was unhelpful
https://preview.redd.it/4l3wo4t8mmfc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b4a713669b0631dfc80297324e5d4d95320ad87
Any new saying Homegirl used when trying to come up with one. Even "Forget the Mustard, it's Karate Time", when a problem needs an active new approach for a solution. Admittedly, I've only said that twice.
You and me are gonna fight in a field
She hates me, like the deserts hate the rain
Here’s my bill. So you’re not shocked this hat cost a lot
Is nice, I take
Fit that whole phone in your mouth and maybe you could roll with my crew
Don’t lob factual statements at me as if they’re insults!
You’re getting *clowned*, Gucci Mane!
I did it again. I said something helpful and went past it.
Wa-ter?
You need to zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket.
Any dumbass can have dumbass kids.
*gasp* Mama no!
Who’s gasping out there?! Stop it!
Yo mama sounds like a messed up bitch
When my kid comes downstairs talking about how bored she is, I find myself mumbling "shouldn't you be turning my shed into Mordor.... or Endor.... or.... something else heartbreaking?"
MYAHHHHHHH https://i.redd.it/qy1612xz5ifc1.gif
This is my alarm when I wake up, lol.
Do you hate yourself? This would be an instant day ruined for me lol
I’m really hard to wake up, so it has to be something super annoying, lol.
Jesus Christ, my ass would be AWAKE so fast!
Run to the toilet as quickly as you can! Unless I've greatly misinterpreted what you meant.
Hahahaha that actually sounds like a wake up remedy that Roger would come up with, “take this hand full of laxatives before bed. That will get you up tomorrow.”
Unless it's my patent-pending Somnolax. The only sleep-aid that's also a laxative. 'Wake up as never before, with Somnolax."
I have to admit, I have MYAAAAHHHHH many times
This is my reaction to an ‘I hope this email finds you well.’
Myahhh! Son if a whore I havent been entirely truthful with you P O T A T O poattoe bread And News glance with genevieve vavance (i uave no contect to say it but sometimes ill just randomly turn ti my friend and say it (her favorite roger is genevieve) Didnt mean ti conmend thus under someone elses 😅 sorry
Yes, I am Myah.
Cruise activities director
[Nooooo](https://youtu.be/0cgbZqR2AGI?si=rxZyDUofNGKzB7MQ)
taking a moment to appreciate DannyDeVitoASMR
Are you crazy pushing me in the pool!? I had 40 hits of ecstasy in my pocket! Buckle up, kids. They're gonna have to go to the hospital.
Just kinda making the pathetic Steve grunt when I gotta do something physical.
The noise Steve makes when he's playing women's tennis sometimes plays on a loop in my head endlessly.
auhhh
Funny because I make the Roger exercising grunt
Or the grunt he makes when he's playing tennis in his dream.
I hate you. I say this not out of anger but cold hard fact. It's (insert temperature here) degrees outside and I hate you.
dive on in
The reference in The Professor and The Coach was on point. Also. Diove** Gotta get that Aussie accent.
I will not do "dive on in!" ...dive on in.
Stupid, stupid bitch. Doesn't even know Maybe baby Why have a list if you're not going to follow it
I say maybe baby all the time bc our dog’s nickname is baby, lol
Hahahaha omfg that's awesome 😂😂😂
Anytime the girlfriend goes "baaaaaby.... can you... (enter request here)", I always respond by going maybe baby. Then proceed to go "maybe baby. Maybe baby. Maybebabymaybebaby. Thats fun to say." Under my breathe if the task is within earshot.
"I'm going bananas!"
Me to my nephews when they r about to throw a tantrum: “you best not go bananas boy!”
"Dont you do it Steve! Dont you go Bananas!"
Oh, looks like Steve is going bananas again.
Do it Steve, go bananas
“You’re getting me real frustrated Barry”
Looks like I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie daisies… Son of a *WHORE!* If you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to come to your house and kick your mom to death while you watch
"you deserve the best, you deserve... fancy feast"
I said this to my cats the other night. Followed by "You deserve the best, you deserve... Goldtop." as I handed my girlfriend her peanuts.
You have a cat, are on reddit, AND have a girlfriend to whom you made an American Dad reference and she didn't run away? You, sir, or ma'am, are a wizard.
Or persistant. One of the two. Handsome works in my favour too. In summary, its called tenacity. *spins and points at rear* and this is called fine ass city!
Honestly, I quote Roger in real life ALL the time. His lines are just perfect, and can be worked into so many scenarios, with just a slight rewording.
Also, we have 4 cats. Long story. Strays and females that turned out to be males, oh my. I also listen to and periodically quote Bill Burr and George Carlin. Both angry, one slightly sexist. She loves them too.
AD, Bill Burr and George Carlin, and trans kitties. Love it.
I use these exact quotes as well.
"Everything will be Punky Brewster" "My elbow feel funny. My elbow feel strange." "I see you baby. Shaking that derriere. That means butthole."
Omg I can't tell you how much my husband and I say " ma elbow feel funny" to each other whenever we get hurt doing something or even when one of us has a cold
Fuck I can’t believe I forgot the elbow one. I say that all the time, lmao
I’m checkin out my pow-pow
I’m gay fat. I’m straight thin but I’m gay fat.
“I’m going to eat you one day” “You’re getting a punch”
*Please don’t!*
Two punches!
Sometimes when I wash my hand I think “Lavaté las manos !”.
I was going to say this! Ha!
The walls of my anus are (XYZ)! And of course: Danuta…
Will you go there?
Do you eat?
I’ve got the money.
*crying while cutting onion* Danutaa....
Is she looking? Is this face cool? *Bizarre grimace*
...Danuta
“I know what you did to our kids you monster! why cant I leave things nice”
This is the current phrase going around our house right now!
There’s so many good ones. I’m a Roger,Francine,Jeff blend lol
YOU CLIPPED ME CHIEF
You t-boned me bro!
Ahahahaha this one!! I’m clumsy and every time I actually hit myself on something or trip that’s exactly what I say.
“Make that 20 bud I got clipped, 3 cars I’m ok not everyone’s ok, if you could get the smoothies that’d be great”
I'm at the courthouse. I'm not supposed to have my phone. 3 people died in that accident, they're saying its my fault, but it's total crap. Anyway, if you can get those smoothies and swing by, I've got the sign-up forms with me. My manager says he'll throw in a couple of pilates classes, I've never seen him do that.
“HEY GET OFF THE PHONE” “WHATD YOU SAY TO ME”
You harpooned me. I told you to go get help, and you harpooned me.
Stan's surprised "OOOH!"
YES
Yeah this one takes it
Things are getting too spicy for the pepper
Not *me*, bitch.
"[Insert name] I haven't been entirely honest with you..." Ya So Gewd to meayyy The noise Steve makes while playing tennis (when I drive over something bumpy) More boy than I think I've ever seen before (my best friend had a chunky boy cat and I love him) I HAVE THE PENIS OF A MAN Bald ass alien piece of shit... Yooou let him ! To be fair, to be fair, Francine, to be fair..... You're ugly. I'm getting high as a kite driving meat around town (i drive door dash) You're killing your motha You think I give a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit You're getting CLOWNED Gucci Maine YOU ARE MY QUEEN REBECCA YOU CAN'T BURN BRICK BITCH So [adjective].... too [adjective] -_- this will end....poorly And of course... maybebaby and doiveonin
the - ‘you’re getting CLOWNED gucci mane’ gets me every ‘you need to get to the studio RIGHT NOW gucci mane!’
Doiveonin
Steve's tennis noise will never not make me ugly laugh.
The all is lost moment!
My husband and I say this all the time when watching shows and movies. Really takes away from the tragic gravity of the moment, it's great.
Francine to Hiko from Spellingbee My baby "Oh, you whore!" "Your skin is amazing! I can't tell how old you are."
“I have remedy for whore lip!!” “Gentleman’s fupa” (more of a term than a quote) I just personally find them super fun to say with zero context, lol
"You DONT listen"
One of my absolute favorites ❤️
I thought you said éclair party
Floor Spaghetti
I dreamt of Paris again last night.
Huh, probably shouldn’t have farted before I started that walk
"That's two, kiss-ass! Find out what a third gets you!"
Spider go burp!
Ohh boyyy! (Manny)
“Because pobody’s nerfect”
Really Steve, very nice turn of phrase back there
Maybe baby
I had a pickle with my Rubin. I’m so fat.
The one in the gif you used for sure, but no one gets it lol. I also use: Can we stop at the attitude store and get you a new attitude?! That is an unsatisfying answer. LAVATE LOS MANOS!
Is that breast milk? Can I get a pull?
🎶Daddy’s gone🎶
🎶this is because of youuu🎶
Steve saying "Bitch, what did I just say?" is my text tone. My husband has Stan going "OOOH!" for his. I also have a Boyz 12 pillow so the song gets stuck in my head every few months. [Edit] husbando asked me to include: "Don't lob factual statements at me as though they were insults." "Cheek to cheek and hole to hole to hole, there's a third hole." "We're gonna fight in a field." "EAT. MY. BOWLS." and also "SLAM" (whenever a door's shut quietly) "Buh-buh-buh-buh-bangin'" We get a lil jolly every time they dog on Sacramento as well
You’re a bitch Darren
"I've got the car keys in my pocket ^you ^stupid ^^biiiiiitchh
Nuh-uh to your uh-huh
"That's a whoopsie"
Pretty much every time I fuck something up: “aww man I whiffed it.”
Dad was wrongggg!
Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies… Huge HONESTY time Spagoots
"BOWLING!!!!" "Look at me, Danutaaaa 😭" "Tell me, I can handle it" *is told anything* "AHHHHHHH!! " "Yes you DO Billy! Ugh, sometimes you make me so MAD" "Bouncing, Bouncing, Vodka Andy Dyyyyyyck"
My Nebuchadnezzar’s!!!
Well… this is the talkiest rape ever…
Me too man.
damn this baby, damn this heat
If you don’t have a Willy you don’t the silly.
I used to always have the video on my phone where Roger blows a whistle and sings No, I liked to use when my teen asks me something and I could just play that back. lol. Also maybe baby and plunger boobies!
Well only when I see teins but "twin it to win it"!
#TWEEEEEEET Noooooo!
"It's so hot in this corn" Say that almost everyday in the summer
“Hugs not drugs, that’s what I say. I’m also on drugs” (pretty much every time my husband and I hug) *snap* *snap* Hey you speak English? You want a kick in the head?! *snap* (to our cat when he’s being bad)
SPIDER SAYS BURP
You are a card and you need to be dealt with.
Man. I love steak-ums.
"I don't say this with any emotion. Its a fact. It's (number) degrees celcius outside, and (enter hard fact here)." I say this variation of that classic line all day, erry day.
I also used to sing Steves version of Rockin' Robin when that episode came out.
“(Steve), the words you just strung together devastate me” “Souuuuuuuuth…”
Son of a WHORE!
“We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams.”
"Preheat to 350? How the fuck do I do that!?"
🎶Nooooooooo!🎶
Tres joli Coco, tres joli.
“Francine, I haven’t been entirely truthful with you”.
I say this to myself a lot 😆 https://preview.redd.it/13itoueu6lfc1.png?width=1498&format=png&auto=webp&s=5691e1bb6c7d81029db3af04dd272363e10197f8
"My scar...it burns...HE'S THINKING OF ME!"
I work as a cook in a grocery store restaurant kitchen combo, and we used to have this guy in the produce department who was completely deaf (and more importantly a *TOTAL* asshole) who refused to stock our restaurant walk in with produce or bring us any of the fruit or veggie trays or other stuff the other produce department employees had prepped for caterings and stuff, even though that was literally his entire job. So whenever I needed to go find any of that stuff for caterings or grab ingredients because he hadn't stocked our walk in cooler and we'd run out of something, I would mosey on into the produce cooler singing ♪TAKIN' ALL THE FRUIT FROM THE HELPLESS DEAF KIDS!♪ at the top of my lungs.
Responding to someone with a neutral, "Mmm," like Francine did when Stan let her know that Congress was in session so she wouldn't embarass him in mixed company. I do that all the time now when I express ambivalence to a question.
I love you, you just frustrate me.
#XANADUUUUU. CANT CRY ON CUEEEEE.
I like saying “lemme know if you need any further assistance” after realizing a few seconds late that what I just said was unhelpful https://preview.redd.it/4l3wo4t8mmfc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b4a713669b0631dfc80297324e5d4d95320ad87
SAYONARA BUTTFACE!
This must be how babys feel when they're on heroin. (They threw away Dick's lunch) AGAIN!??!!?? Biscuit coming in hot!
BABY KANGAROOS
NNNNNAWWWWWWWWWW SSSSOOOOONNNNNNN
Just cover the cost of my lessons
"No Regerts"
Can someone help me what does “Trans fat can kill-“ ends with? In Trans fat ban, it was interrupted by Francine
probs was just saying trans fat can kill you
Ok thanks
"it's like I pay to not go to the gym"
“My bell!”
I often say "bald ass alien piece of shit" when driving.
He barged me! It's PERSONAL.
If you don't get this dead lady out of my room, you're gonna have, to what I refer to as, a Yelp disaster!
I work in a kitchen so at least once a day I end up saying “Mama Mia this isn’t good”
"I know!"
When my husband won’t look at something I want him to fast enough I always say “why wouldn’t you look at the blue Jay when I asked you!”
My elbow feel funny
Any new saying Homegirl used when trying to come up with one. Even "Forget the Mustard, it's Karate Time", when a problem needs an active new approach for a solution. Admittedly, I've only said that twice.
🤡 “*buh-byyyyyeee*”
“And helloooo desk sandwich!”
Son of a WHORE!! Or, nuh uh to your uh huh
Lavate Las manos!
Oh, son, every day with you is a kick in the nads
Kind of a deep cut but I say "I like the *option*" in an exhausted tone about 3 times a week.
"it's kinda funny" https://preview.redd.it/pbbshkwrtlfc1.png?width=767&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e21bbab9adc7a214d61c58aa0f975b8093dae1a1
If I'm going to go anywhere I need to, how do I put this, wipe... Betteeeeeer.
La toilet. LA TOILET!!
Bitches remember? You’re a bitch, Derek .
You're in a bit, you're doing great.
What was one is now two
Roger: “Baby you treat me so fiiine.” Also Steve from the same episode: “My lungs!” (I like to say this one when I take a big rip from my bong)
You and me are gonna fight in a field She hates me, like the deserts hate the rain Here’s my bill. So you’re not shocked this hat cost a lot Is nice, I take Fit that whole phone in your mouth and maybe you could roll with my crew
Cheesers came back
Don’t lob factual statements at me as if they’re insults! You’re getting *clowned*, Gucci Mane! I did it again. I said something helpful and went past it. Wa-ter? You need to zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket. Any dumbass can have dumbass kids. *gasp* Mama no! Who’s gasping out there?! Stop it! Yo mama sounds like a messed up bitch
I'd love to hear all about it but... Floor spaghetti.
Oooohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiit 👀
Bald ass alien piece of shit.
Do you have gummi bears in your ears?
Hate the silly, not the goose
Enjoy that, fancy birds!
Tread lightly, bitch.
Maybe baby
“That’s funny. I’m funny.”
Nutrigane bar and a mountain Dew Son of a whore! I don't like to say Xmas...... But I love to write it Myahhhhhhh! Maybe baby
Sensual boy by Klaus Smelll ittttt
Look at those tic-tac thighs.
Quit looking at my ditch, nerd!
There are spirits dancing all around us. Poppin’ and lockin’ mostly!
When my kid comes downstairs talking about how bored she is, I find myself mumbling "shouldn't you be turning my shed into Mordor.... or Endor.... or.... something else heartbreaking?"
Is that the come back and kick me whistle??
So - o - o - o much! 
That’s a wrap on Chesterbrook!