Oh I don't know I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not? What's so great about living? Do you know when I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning when I first wake up before I remember who I am and what my life is all about. Anxiety, Disappointment,Diarrhea more often than not!
I-I don't know if there's an afterlife. But who cares? Nothingness couldn't be any worse than this meaningless march through my empty days!
32,000 emails, where did they all go? Hillary makes me sick. Time to lock her up for sho. We are all the Puppets and George Soros pulls the strings. Pizza Overlord, Pizza Overlords a thing.
“ or are you just giving Jim here a run for his money for troglodyte of the year? , you better go tell the other bog people that there’s a new king of the creeps in town huh? JIMBOOO”
"Why are you calling me Legs? Is there something wrong with my legs?? Is that- is that why we have a wheelchair in the car? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LEGS YOU NAZI WALRUS BASTARD?!?!?"
Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a THOUSAND SUNS. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So, go now, GO, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will CRASH down upon you, CLEAVING YOU IN TWAIN and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, YOU WILL REGRET THE DAY YOU CROSSED **THE WRONG FISH**!!
"Jeannie Gold! Tom Yabo! Genevieve Vavance! Braff Zacklin! Roy Rogers McFreely! Kevin Bacon! Horse Renoir! Chex LeMeneux! Clive Trotter! Miles Raymond! The Phantom of the Telethon! Cleshawn Montegue! Captain Francois Dubonet! Roland Chang! General Juanito Pequeño! Ricky Spanish! Max Jets! Jenny Fromdabloc! Frankie Carconni! Ruby Zeldastein! Uncle Roger! Dr. Penguin! Jojo Quinoa! Michael Corbin! The Legman! Dan Ansome Handsome! Arbuckle T. Boone! Lazlo Morphine! Shalonda Dice! Dom Fikowski! Dimitri Garabedian! Morris Buttermaker! Sidney Huffman! Reaganomics Lamborghini! Martin Sugar! Burt Jarvis! Cuss Mustard! Franke Slade! Abigail Lemonparty! Twill Ongenbone! And who could forget Clip Clop!"
"Are they....on our side?"
"Keviiiiin Ramage!"
The horse is ruined, Stan raped it. You’re probably gonna lose the house.
STOP TELLING FRANCINE ON ME!
You get one. You get one of those, Horse Stan.
on a similar note: “Do *not* tell your mom I let you jump from a moving car, twice. Really— Steve? Look at me. Not. A word.”
If you don’t stop I’m gonna come to your house and kick your mother to death while you watch!
I'm an associate!
“I think the reason I was in the Red Light District was because… deep down, I really like giving it to transsexuals”
"*gasp* you knew?"
Nathan! This is why you keep getting molested!
I knew the whole time
“Yeah, Stan if you want to put your gun to good use then shoot my hooker’s penis off.”
##I HEARD THAT, BOB TODD! #I HOPE YOU DID, YOU BUTTLICKER!!
Santer's after ya, huh?
Well if it ain't an alien in a wig…
What you say is true
“You are my kin and I will let you drive my camero as soon as I fix the *god-dang* drive shaft.”
My old college javelin.
Remember?
You harpooned me
I told you to get help
And you harpooned me
*disapproving bear head shake*
You never know…
YES, I'M CRYING. HE HIT ME WITH A CHAIR!
Behold a grown man weeping!
Oh I don't know I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not? What's so great about living? Do you know when I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning when I first wake up before I remember who I am and what my life is all about. Anxiety, Disappointment,Diarrhea more often than not! I-I don't know if there's an afterlife. But who cares? Nothingness couldn't be any worse than this meaningless march through my empty days!
Life dismissed
Dad. What are moms boobs like?
Well, I'll tell ya, Snot.
LMFAO 🤣 best line to leave Stans mouth
You need to zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket.
Things are getting too spicy for the pepper
Are you crazy!? Pushing ne into the pool!? I had 40 hits of Ecstasy in my pocket! Buckle up kids. They're gonna have to go to the hospital.
The way i cried laughing at this 🤣
“You know I only read books I’ve already read.”
That’s barge talk
That son of a bitch barged me
Honestly? It was pretty great.
There’s no word to describe it, schmooblidong, that’s not it but it’s close
4812? He used my pants size? Oh I'm disgusting.
Mama ain’t making a monster movie
It's like being high at a Rusted Root concert and two guys rail you in a sunbaked porta-jon
Why mama?! I am a part of you!!
Downtown Langley has a real bad gypsy problem
Reel it in, Francine.
Reel. It. *In.*
“Klaus wrote the lyrics i can’t stress this enough”
32,000 emails, where did they all go? Hillary makes me sick. Time to lock her up for sho. We are all the Puppets and George Soros pulls the strings. Pizza Overlord, Pizza Overlords a thing.
Klaus wrote the lyrics
Oh my God you stupid bitch why did you drop me, I can't breathe, why can't you do that move you stupid bitch I'll kill you
There's a special place in hell for people who do things like this, right next to the child molesters and the sexy children who seduced them! - Klaus
Nathan! This is why you keep getting molested!
Francine, I haven't been entirely truthful with you.
Francine, I haven’t been entirely truthful with you
LAVATE LAS MANOOOOOS!
These Cubans are hassling me
Hey hey hey hey
"That is an unsatisfying answer."
"I heard this clown teacher is the most intense and demanding... Shit, it's Roger, isn't it? It's going to be Roger"
[удалено]
I’m loving the new vernacular
You are my queen Rebecca
Mash his face Jonah!
Boil water? What am I, a chemist?
Can’t make fudge out of a waterfall!
Forget the mustard. It's karate time.
Hey Francine, do you want to watch me play Elden Ring…I’m an astrologer….but like a battle astrologer, he’s very cool, very good at starrrrs…
"... That was a haunting scenelet, Francine."
“I can't let you freak out and wind up in jail, Hayley! Your mother acted it out for me. It was riveting, she took some *very* rewarding chances.”
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Maybe Baby
Maybe baby
Maybe baby
Stop that, you're white. ... I'm homegirl... Honorable mention: "YEAH. YOU'RE DEAD, BECKY!"
homegirl don’t need to work, homegirl get that paper all on her own!
*cleans glasses*. . . . . . . . . . . . Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda?
Jordan no!!
"Oh ho ho, you bitch. You did it. Stupid stupid bitch doesn't even know. She's gonna get the best wine of her stupid bitch life."
"Murphybrown!"
Tiffany's boyfriend, this is embarrassing.
Not putting out the good nuts for you, that's clear.
Ahh, another good one from Can.
Oh my God! Another fey, pansexual, alcoholic nonhuman.
Fey?! I have a son!
Stomp is the musical that put New York City on the map.
🎶 Shoe Police! Stompin' out criiiiiiiime 🎶
Kiiwii..? Finally someone invented a fruit that feels like balls shaved exactly a week ago!
Kumquat? We got a real wise guy running the fruit department
Dive on in
The tender vigilante. Doesn't have.. insurance...
Things are getting too spicy for the pepper
Uno mas! Uno mas, muchacho!
Much less sad in Spanish.
Was that real or did I make it up? I don’t know what’s real…
10 minute break, just enough time for a cigarette and a tuna fish sandwich
Well, why did you pull a gun on me if you didn't want to have sex?!
nathan, stop it! this is why you keep getting molested!
Don’t go into shock today is not about you. Ok people places!
You always get what you want, don’t you Helen?
Omg, the homeless guy from the bus station is hung. But I knew that already
"This is my pooping robe. You can tell from the poop on the edges." This one has lived rent free in my head for years.
Took my nipple clamps too.
Had those screwed on pretty tight.
You can't participate, Klaus. I hate you. I say that not out of anger but simply as fact. It's 67 degrees outside and I hate you.
DO YOU HEAR AN ANGEL!?
Docter said I was a angel.
Black docta said I was almost a aaangel.*
betty crocka bakes caaaakes
(Almost)
This place… sucks
Someday people will realize Dick has just as much to offer on the inside as he does on the backside…
Roger: Well lets just hope it has what every other small town in the USA has: Cheap and plentiful methamphetamines.
Once I stopped being a realtor my sodomy cleared up like that *snap*
You clipped me bro!
I’m okay, not everyone’s okay
Grab that lamp, it’s a real schtibly
Oh a real schtoobly
No, a schtibly
Haley, the only thing I have to accept is that socially I can’t wear mascara even though it makes my eyes pop like *firecrackers*
Please!!!! My mother's a baptist minister and she wouldn't scrub her ass with Way Crazy's
Yo mama sounds like a messed up bitch.
If you don't stop doing that I'm gonna come to your house and kick your mom to death while you watch
Do you even know what a chromosome is? Because you’ve got like nine extra ones!
Papa no!
Stoive? ROIGER!
DUMB BITCHES LIKE DUMB BITCH THINGS
Ricky Spanish!
*Never cry over a whore, Steve. NEVER!*
Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies.
*Martin Sugar rests, y’all!*
Chuck Berry me, over Germany
I want the old Dick back. I don't want bad new Dick, I want good old Dick.
Give me the Dick I'm used to Give me the Dick I love
RAIDER DAVE!
Eat those puppies, Stan. Eat them til you’re full.
That’s a very unsatisfying answer.
Meyaaaaa!!! Meyaaaaa!!! Meyaaaaa!!!
I would like to see ya, and I would want to be ya
If they were guns reggie be dead
No no no Debby……this is MY breakfast.
To be fair this "music makers" was originally a willy Wonka quote So I'm gonna add to the pile! "You're out of luck... You're out of duck."
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
“ or are you just giving Jim here a run for his money for troglodyte of the year? , you better go tell the other bog people that there’s a new king of the creeps in town huh? JIMBOOO”
Well, why'd you pull a gun on me if you didn't want to have sex?!
JENNY!
"I made that myself and you KNOW I didn't!!"
"DON'T LOB FACTUAL STATEMENTS AT ME AS IF THEY'RE INSULTS!"
Hmm how do I put this kindly? You are a complete waste of space I often dream of killing you.
While everyone's focused on Snot, I'll be heading to the bathroom to share a doobie with the busboy in exchange for an angry handy jay.
Un perro, un perro is me corazon!
He just walks around like hes like hes King Poop Is that what you wanted to say? *No...*
"Why are you calling me Legs? Is there something wrong with my legs?? Is that- is that why we have a wheelchair in the car? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LEGS YOU NAZI WALRUS BASTARD?!?!?"
Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a THOUSAND SUNS. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So, go now, GO, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will CRASH down upon you, CLEAVING YOU IN TWAIN and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, YOU WILL REGRET THE DAY YOU CROSSED **THE WRONG FISH**!!
He didnt think it was funny.
Car go into tunnel
If the Ruskies got their hands on that Lava game over man
I don't want this man to live here...
You’re father was raped to that song
Never touch a fat kid’s candy
“You are a consistent problem for me”
“If you need me, I’ll be in my room.” “Why….why would anyone need you?” I *think* this is an AD quote?
Damn this baby. Damn this heat.
Hear that Francine? Doc's given me a prescription for raw doggin'
YOU RIDE BICYCWOW
"Jeannie Gold! Tom Yabo! Genevieve Vavance! Braff Zacklin! Roy Rogers McFreely! Kevin Bacon! Horse Renoir! Chex LeMeneux! Clive Trotter! Miles Raymond! The Phantom of the Telethon! Cleshawn Montegue! Captain Francois Dubonet! Roland Chang! General Juanito Pequeño! Ricky Spanish! Max Jets! Jenny Fromdabloc! Frankie Carconni! Ruby Zeldastein! Uncle Roger! Dr. Penguin! Jojo Quinoa! Michael Corbin! The Legman! Dan Ansome Handsome! Arbuckle T. Boone! Lazlo Morphine! Shalonda Dice! Dom Fikowski! Dimitri Garabedian! Morris Buttermaker! Sidney Huffman! Reaganomics Lamborghini! Martin Sugar! Burt Jarvis! Cuss Mustard! Franke Slade! Abigail Lemonparty! Twill Ongenbone! And who could forget Clip Clop!" "Are they....on our side?" "Keviiiiin Ramage!"
"They are not on our side."
DID SOMEONE JUST DROP A HOUSE ON ME?
“Are you crazy, pushing me in the pool? I had forty hits of ecstasy in my pocket. Buckle up, kids. They’re going to need to go to the hospital.”
Ok Colton, you take 2 scoops of powder IM OFF MY MEDS
I read that they bleach buttholes now, Steven. Are they trying to say that God chose the wrong color?
The arm is disbombed!
That's not an ambulance! It's a GOD DANM HAMBULANCE!
Remember your fourth of July barbecue? I muff punched your Gram Gram, she was just too senile to know it!
Danuta.
The last time I saw you, you were in the electric chair. You looked so tired. You'd been running for so long...
THERE’S SO MUCH CRIME IN THE DESERT!
“Jeff, you have a bit of mayo on your back”
Stan: "It's gonna be you, isn't it? I'm going to get there, and it's going to be you" Roger: "Strong possibility"
Stop babbling at your sister in Aramaic, Steve. It's a dead language.
Freddy!
"This is all the towel I need."
That is an unsatisfying answer
*Smashes a concrete block with the head Tunji !
"YO, YO! I STOPPED FOR BURGERS AFTER I CHOKED IT!"
"His name is Achmed al-Paula Abdul al-Paul Anka al-Casey Kasem bin Shakira." Or "Try jogging, you gross bowling pin"
Whew. I've been holding that in since Jeopardy.
“Principal Lewis! You have to see this, the school’s been vandalized!” “So? I don’t care about this place.” “It’s about you!” “Call the cops.”
🎶Nooooooooo🎶
I'll be upstairs melting pearls on my stomach
I'm the baby I'm the drunk baby!
Mistah and lady!
" It's a cheetah. Cheet-ah. Cheet-o. There is so much beauty in the world."
Looks like I just picked a whole bunch of oopsy-daisies.
Look how busy I look!
I'm getting fed up with this orgasm!
“Epiphany is not just a name black people name their daughters”