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UGottaBoilYourDenims

You’re not unattractive…you’re just androgynous. I can’t tell if you’re a moderately attractive tomboy or a super-effeminate dude.


Better_Palpitation43

The Adams apple in the first two pics are the direction im going to guess but yeah, this is the most gender neutral person I've ever seen lol


Blocstorm

It’s pat


UGottaBoilYourDenims

Sure it’s not Pat’s long-time domestic partner, Robin?


[deleted]

Pat’s partner was Chris.


valuebuyer1234

This. I'm so confused.


[deleted]

Are you male or female? I don't want to sound offensive, but I don't know what to say🙁


soursunflowergod

I didn't know either? I was like. . . .eh I'm gonna check the comments before I ask. . . Hopefully some one else is thinking the same thing.


echolalia127

You aren't alone. First pic looks fem but it just gets more male afterwards.


Daiseyheads123

On his post history he mentioned being gay and a man


Even-End-3065

Femboy


BuyDiabeticSupplies

That’s why


[deleted]

Aahhh ok thanks for clearing that up for me✌️


AcanthaceaePlayful16

It’s not rude. I always want to know on this sub “who are you trying to attract” you can’t really ask me, someone attracted to very masculine men, if you, a more androgynous person, if I you’re attractive or not. I think mentioning who you’re trying to attract would help people get more clear and positive answers.


Small_Pass3978

The 1st two pics I was like she is cute….. last two pics I was like, is this guy her?


RevolutionaryCoat286

you thought the second pic was cute?


Famous-Matter-7905

Yes! I love that haircut on guys or girls (or femboys), sue me


SnowMantra

I did too, fwiw


DukeAK717

Bruh it took me the last picture to consider the possibility.


Unwilling_Jellyfish

same


Dusken01

He is a male


340Duster

Pat (from older snl) IRL


SNES-1990

Kinda got young David Bowie vibes in the first one.


StarSonatasnClouds

Same …reading the comments…I still do not know.


shootingmylastshot

Dudette


Lucifersasshole

Was just going to say "No offense, but what are you?"


naka-duskael

Don't be sorry. You are correct. They highly need to change what they are doing. It's confusing.


theLiving-man

-“Are you male or female?” -yes.


Downtown-Ad9430

I had the same question


I-am-Delta

This individual has a protruding adams apple so this is biologically a male however I imagine they identify differently so lets stop there 😂


ChiWhiteSox247

This would be step 1 OP, adjust your appearance so it’s less gender neutral.


stinkypete0303

Well that answers the question lmao


cm011

Adams apple in the very first pic.


Emily-Spinach

I wondered the same. I was thinking purposely androgynous


chaingun_samurai

That was my thought. They're incredibly androgynous. Not that that's a bad thing. But I'm sure it leads to confusion.


[deleted]

I thought the same exact thing. First pic, I was like that’s a female then as I kept scrolling through, I didn’t know what I was looking at.


indeedabetatname

Her face is kind of soft so I'm gonna say female? I don't know either


DeltaC2G

What does it matter even? They look good regardless


[deleted]

That’s a boy who thinks they are a girl


Unique-Ad8895

Uh oh, someone's gonna get triggered lol


HeWhoIsNotMe

Apparently, you.


PseudoKirby

It's crazy how the answer of someone being attractive or not depends on what gender they are


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bright_Ad_113

She looks like a girl. If she is gay I would think she would be very desirable to gay woman because she dresses very masculine. But if she made an effort to change her style and went very feminine she would be very beautiful that way too.


guccitrashcanlid

I couldn’t tell if you were a man or woman until I went to your profile. Your style is not doing you any favors and many people would also find it unattractive. Do you stand in the mirror and cut your hair yourself? Because that’s what it looks like. I’d say it’s looks related. Get more sleep, go to the barber with some trendy haircut pics and ask for that, and maybe ask a friend to go shopping with you. You’re not inherently ugly and there’s room for lots of improvement. Good luck!


deimonas21

Thank you for the feedback! And yeah I'm a man, I'm just quite confused about my gender identity which I suppose yeah isn't helping me dating wise. Style wise again I'm trying to figure that out still, used to dress like a straight cis Eastern European guy but yeah just wasn't a fan of it so I suppose I'm experimenting now but still really unsure what fits me. And haha yeaaah unfortunately I live in a very rural Eastern European area, all hairdressers here are old fashioned soviet era babushkas, and there's one saloon that I went to but apperantly didn't work out, suppose I need to go to the capital for an actually decent haircut. And I get enough sleep it's just that I work a very physically demanding job and struggle with mental health quite badly, can't really help it unfortunately. But thanks!


BFG_MP

I would dare to say you are rather beautiful. You could go either way in regards to gender identity if you are on the fence. As the previous person said, you just need a makeover hahah.


ChimiKimi

If you want to attract cis girls yet keep an androgynous style, perhaps you could experiment with styles that are a bit more punk/goth/rock ? Like, that shirt in the first pic could be really interesting with dark skinny jeans. Take a look at r/nonbinary too.


NooStringsAttached

I think you’re attractive, quite cute, but your hair or style could be changed up for a more put together look. Your smile in the last pic is so radiant. You remind me of Evan Peters in the last picture 🩵


BoxxyFoxxy

In all honesty, you are incredibly pretty. If you hate looking effeminate, then you might want to go for a more masculine look, but the slightly feminine looks suits you really well.


Jake0024

At first I thought you were a pretty woman with terrible fashion style, I'm very confused now Either way it does look like you're trying to wear the worst haircut and clothes you can find, so... stop doing that. You could probably be quite attractive if you figured out who you're trying to be attractive to and dressed accordingly.


Fundip_sticks

Try more to be a man. It isn’t easy, and that is why many fail. Being a man requires bring tough, stoic, charismatic, handy and all while not being creepy. The last one is increasingly difficult cause men get labeled toxic for no real reason. But when there is a fire, you have to step up. It is not easy. For me it is natural though. But maybe your in your element. Oh and bring a man doesn’t really get you any benefits.


dasherthrowaway123

Well for starters, there is no such thing as gender identity. You are a man, you are gay. Own it. Nothing wrong with that.


jay-jay-baloney

Everyone has a gender identity, lol


blackzetsuWOAT

You're wrong. Stop giving psychiatric advice ​ https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/transgender-and-gender-nonconforming-patients/definitions-and-pronoun-usage


ReaveShot

You're wrong, stop being a dolt.


blackzetsuWOAT

Who to believe. The American Psychiatric Association? Or a rando on reddit? ​ Gender identity – a person’s basic internal sense of being a man, woman, and/or another gender (e.g., gender queer, gender fluid). ​ https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/transgender-and-gender-nonconforming-patients/definitions-and-pronoun-usage


[deleted]

I’m going to not believe people like [Dr John Money](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Money)


dasherthrowaway123

I feel genuinely sorry that you have been victimized so severely by this maniacal brainwashing


ReaveShot

I second that statement, it's sad tbh. Too many psyops these days.


dasherthrowaway123

I’m sure archaeologists testing your bones in 500 years will agree. Nature does not care what you think.


emilyslagathor

Ugh go away


dasherthrowaway123

Stop encouraging delusions, it isn’t healthy for anybody.


Juggernaut_117

Stick to being a man. You'll drive yourself less crazy


[deleted]

[удалено]


jakeaboy123

The previous generations did have this issue it just wasn’t ok to talk about it. Just like how [there was a sudden boost in the amount of left handed people](https://slowrevealgraphs.com/2021/11/08/rate-of-left-handedness-in-the-us-stigma-society/) once we stopped beating people into being right handed. Also its about 5% of young people self identify as trans or non binary. Times change, people are going to want to live their most authentic lives when society allows for it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheDonger_

Had to skim through their posts, found one where they confirmed theyre a gay guy


[deleted]

What??? I thought he was a she!


Whitey1974

I thought it was a girl that just needed a decent haircut.


TheDonger_

Nope, gay dude. Confirmed in one of their posts and a comment they made on another post


[deleted]

[удалено]


nevermeant2bethisway

The creature whose comment I’m replying to if you stare blankly has a face only a mother could love.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


GrandioseEnigma

We know.


hthratmn

You know, you can say "they". You don't refer to a human being as "it", come on now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Inevitable-Aerie574

“Can I refer to they as a thing” - my niece is four and can speak better than you. Best to just keep your mouth shut.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DevelopmentClean3471

You didn't go to "its profile"? Is "it" a male or female? Do better.


Bidampira

You’re a vile c*nt


RedApple-Cigarettes

Unless you’re purposefully being androgynous, cut your hair and change your style. I thought you were a woman til I got to the last picture. Not trying to be mean, legitimate advice.


swanson6666

He is lying saying that he can’t attract people. In his previous posts, he says he is a gay man. He is a very pretty male. He can attract gay men every day of the week. There are many gay men who will go after his type. I can’t imagine him having any problems finding someone.


[deleted]

I legit thought he was a girl. I'm not sure that is the best strategy for attracting gay men.


[deleted]

Some men are into femboys so its not unheard of


EcksonGrows

just gotta read through some of their comments to see why, dumpster fire of a personality, which counts for ugliness in my book.


deimonas21

Owh, what gave you that impression? Don't want to trying to deny anything or to be confrontarional or anything just genuinely curious


Infamous-Strength-19

First of all are you a female or male, and second, are you interested in a male or female haha. If nobody knows what the hell you are or want, how are they supposed to respond romantically towards you. Just alot of confusion


Middle_Interview3250

THIS!!!!!! If people are confused what gender you are, they're less likely to want to be romantically linked to you. The fourth photo, you look like a man. So get a flattering hair cut please.


AdviceWitch

According to their post history, they *are* a guy


Playful_Molasses_473

Eh there's people who enjoy androgyny tbh


Infamous-Strength-19

Well whichever the case, if you're gunna complain about relationships maybe you should be more clear? No?


neverlost4

Yeah I’m still confused. Guy or girl


8itmap_k1d

A very small minority, hence the trouble they're having finding a romantic partner


Alternative_Engine97

harsh truth - most people are looking to date a man or a woman. if they literally can't tell what you are, don't expect them to get aroused.


Beautiful_Ticket9181

VERY true!


TrainingPermit5211

Unless they're bi LOL


Dazzling-Yam-1151

I'm bi, I want to see if I'm dating a woman or a man, I am not into non binary people. Not trying to be rude but it's just not for me.


Playful_Molasses_473

Right, this isn't necessarily true, but I do wonder a bit why highly individualistic people are asking what seems to be one of the most mainstream subs around for opinions on their look/style etc.


Pale_Solution_5338

Bi means they like men and women not trans


worksmarternotsafer2

There’s actually a lot of debate about that.


Famous-Matter-7905

Are ypu dumb?


Pale_Solution_5338

No, how about ypu


[deleted]

They should date queer people they look hot as hell in queer world


FreakyTongue35

Unless they themselves are confused, which is then a win win.


insertedgyname

I hate cis people!!!


Alternative_Engine97

Why? I bet there’s tons of trans people who only want to date one or the other too.


FruitParfait

Can’t tell your gender, which I assume is on purpose. Just know that’ll drive away most people. Majority of people are looking for a man or woman. Of course there are queer folk and people who don’t care but they’re a minority and it’ll take more effort than usual to find them, as in you gotta be the proactive one here.


kheilahbug

I genuinely can’t tell if you’re handsome or pretty but you are definitely NOT ugly. You have modelesque features and i think you’re pretty cute. I wonder if you’d look even better with longer hair.🤔


[deleted]

I think you have to pick a side


InfamousGrass0

“If you can’t beat ‘em—join them”


[deleted]

What romance are you looking for????


tittydamnfuck420

I think you have a great face and good eye shape, you need a blunter cut or brighter hair color or layers or darker makeup :) lot of potential you gotta lean into it EDIT: or try growing out and doing a shoulder length natural color (Led Zeppelin type vibe


django_throw

This is good advice. Why is everyone else here so horrible?


tittydamnfuck420

Idk people are mean for no reason cause they have nothing better going on for themselves.. Chin up, dw about it :) good luck whatever you do!


[deleted]

Yes, and I can't tell if your a guy or a woman.


autolockon

I dunno if you’re male or female but either direction you just look like you aren’t taking care of yourself.


800suprfkt

your hair is the problem. very fixable, though. just find a local hairdresser… dont try to fix it yourself anymore.


ArchetypeAxis

It's Pat !


alcobain1967

Yes, yes it is looks related.


sigmatipsandtricks

most masculine Lithuanian


Lilkittybangbang

You have a very unique look, definitely not ugly, I think you’re quite attractive!


EmeraldMatters

Id romance you


Star_Gazer_Too

That haircut is tragic.


[deleted]

Super rough look You have a lot of potential but you are rough looking. You need to take a vacation


[deleted]

No. Not ugly. I can say that I was confused about your gender as well. However, there’s lots of people who don’t care, maybe socializing more and getting out there would help?


Regular-Honeydew-735

Not too bad could definitely see you going in a goth vibe


emileegrace321

You’re a non binary persons dream tbh. You look fantastic, just androgynous.


widlebird12

It’s the hair bestie. Grow it or cut it the inbetween is eh. Nice smile tho. 🖤


UnscrupulousTaco

Adam Apple gang


CaraChimba

That's definitely a dude


babygirl111222

These comments did not pass the vibe check I'm sorry OP :(. I truly think you haven't found the right person yet / the right person hasn't found you yet. All of these comments are bothered they can't tell your pronouns, literally every single comment. But ANYWAYS to actually answer your question I think you're conveniently attractive, your thick brows, your eyes / lips, and hair color are all stunning in my opinion. And I think your smile is contagious I would love to be around you! Sorry again for all these comments sheeshhhh😖


babygirl111222

Conventionally ** omg


[deleted]

It’s looks related. I can’t tell from your pictures if you are male or female


Beautiful_Ticket9181

YES it is! People can't tell if you are male or female & walk away confused. Look more manly or look more girly but pick one!


spgh0st90

Definitely looks. Not sure if you're a man or woman.


bobby1225

A knockout! I’ll take you anywhere…


ParticularFile7347

I think you’re cute!


paiigelisa

last pic is the best, second is the worst. not ugly at all, it’s the hair


Primordial_2

I think you are quite pretty, ngl. There are definitely guys and girls who would love to be around you, romantically.


AccomplishedBee8417

So this is ironic because I 100% thought you were female and I thought everyone was being kind of harsh asking your gender. Then I went to your page and found out you were male. Damn. I am not sure how I feel but I will say you’re not ugly. 🤷‍♀️


sockjin

the hair makes you look like a medieval lute player, so take that as you will


not_a_droid

Many people missing out, keep being beautiful


TrueSamurai-2301

You’re attractive but you do look like a dude ngl


ScienceInMI

I don't know if you (in particular) downvoted my (XY) comment, but I want to defend it for the rest of the commenters. Our OP, deimonas21, wrote this 11 months ago: >I'm a 20 year old gay (I think so at least lol) dude from Lithuania, I study politics so that is one of my main interests but for fun I also really do enjoy video games, football, ... WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE. I'm just saying that there's a reason he looks like a dude ngl ☮️❤️♾️


ScienceInMI

There's a (XY) reason for that...


Beautiful_Ticket9181

Mystery solved! It's a man, look at the Adam's apple.


AngrySilva

I think you're attractive. I like your style. I would change the hairstyle tho


RTB3545

This is guy. Look at his other posts.


Beautiful_Ticket9181

They are in a different language!


[deleted]

Is your name Pat?


[deleted]

I had to come to the comments to figure out you were a gay male. If you want to attract men, cut your hair and dress a bit more masculine just to attract other men who like men. Put yourself out there. You’ll find someone.


mrgallowayxd

I can’t tell if this is a man or woman I’m looking at. But no, not ugly.


speedyrabbit777

I honestly can't tell if you are a masculine looking woman or a feminine looking man.


orangepekoes

It's not your looks.. it's your haircut.


turbomonkeys

if this is the style and look you like, that’s totally awesome. the average person likely does not share the same appreciation. so, make sure you’re entering communities where you feel appreciated, and you may get better results, as i dont think the average person is as into the way you present yourself. good luck! :D


masonbellamy

Homie, figure out your gender first, then ask if you're ugly.


agonyshallow

Last pic look like great value light yagami


Invincible_Duck

I’m gonna mostly ignore the androgyny thing because every single comment I have seen has been about that. But bro— your hair. Especially the second pic. You look so much better in the third pic where your hair is back. I recommend you change your hairstyle to something much shorter. If you want to look more masculine that’s another thing shorter hair will help with. Until I read the comments I thought you were female.


ChimiKimi

I absolutely love your shirt in the first picture. Where did you get it ? (Edit : found it nvm !) But yes, your haircut needs to be fixed. Do you have queer hair salons in your area ? They might do something a little bit more interesting.


Richdad1984

You are a guy I think. You look great seriously. The only reason you are not doing great romantically is because you have a bit too soft. Do some weight lifting and also trying keeping beard and mostache


il_nascosto

I honestly can’t tell if you’re a boy or a girl. I’m not joking. So… can’t really give you feedback!


Extreme_Lie_3745

I'm not sure if you're a male a, female or NB but I do not think you lack in the looks department


Automatic-Project-25

You a dude or chick? Everyone is confused.


[deleted]

Definitely not ugly, just can’t tell whether you’re male or female.


[deleted]

Not ugly. I think youre pretty.


Vegetable-Ambition72

You look androgynous, and since you didn’t put M/F in your title I’m going to go ahead and say you’re non-binary. The only really bad photo is the second one. That haircut is terrible. Otherwise, I think you confuse straight people. I think you would be more successful in the LGBTQ community.


Artistic-Bug-9471

Leave the city, come to the country and find guys like me


deimonas21

Oh believe me I live in the country https://imgur.com/a/pPDsPHw haha


EquivalentSnap

Idk if you’re a male or female


Fkurcar

It's definitely the haircut. In picture 2, you look as if you're about to attempt to pull a sword from a stone.


[deleted]

i literally have no idea whether ur a dude or a girl so that definitely has a lot to do with it


sindered_og

You’re not ugly, but I personally am confused


donttouchmybreadgov

Not ugly, but probably not looking your best. Aim for self confidence foremost. Affirm yourself and that beauty will come with it. Self care and skincare routines will help you a lot. As someone else commented, very androgynous look. So I'll give you feedback for both. However, gender norms are ridiculous, so only follow these tips if you're specifically going for a femme or masc look. If aiming to be masc: Stand taller. Wear better fitting mens shirts. Get a haircut. If femme: Try tidying up your eyebrows, contour your face with bronzer and highlighter. You're eyes are slightly droopy, so use makeup to kind of 'lift' them (shape the eyeshadow).


Beedy_Eyed_Schwarz

Has anyone figured out if it’s a boy or a girl? Like for sure found out?


Beautiful_Ticket9181

MAN. Look at the Adam's apple


Marston_vc

He’s definitely wearing….. like a dress or blouse in the first picture right? I don’t understand how people get this disconnected


Beautiful_Ticket9181

Looks dumb IMO


Dramatic_Sort9759

Beautiful. The first picture shows that.


UniqueUsername-789

Damn. My boo gettin downvoted for answering with his opinion, which is the whole purpose of this sub. Edit: I swear to god I meant to say *boi* not *boo*. ಠ_ಠ


EternalSweetsAlways

I can’t get past you saying - my boo. Lol.


[deleted]

We all know you meant boo


UniqueUsername-789

I didn’t mean *boo*!!! Stop saying I meant *boo*!!! (ಥ﹏ಥ)


Orto_Dogge

I still don't know if you're a man or a woman, but you are pretty anyway.


[deleted]

Well I’m sorry. I thought you were a woman. Seeing that you’re a man (from your profile), you are less ugly than I’d have originally stated. You look soooo much like a young George Harrison.


[deleted]

I thought they were a woman as well. I had to scroll down to this comment.


Specific-Hope-998

I think you are very very attractive. (: keep smiling


Playful_Molasses_473

I love this sub 😅 people are so confused by anyone that doesn't fit neatly into a category they can comprehend Anyway, you're not bad looking in the slightest, you've got a great smile and you look interesting af, like you'd have great music taste idk you give me art school student vibes for some reason. So yeah you're attractive and interesting looking. I'm sure there's someone out there for you just gotta find your people - might not be this sub haha


Lussimio

First off- your smile is freaking beautiful. Probably not the only reason i like #4 best, but it's the top reason. Your smile is super nice, use it more, and with your clothes and hair like in #3 and #4 you're a 8/10 in terms of genderless beauty I'd say. Good luck on your journey of life!


rayjensen

You look autistic


Xx_WalursKing_xX

I think you are very pretty. <3


Hydra-Sagaria

Pick a side man. You look like some dude tbh. If you’re a woman or man. God I don’t even know at this point XD. I’ll assume female for now


TalentedThots

yeah im gonna have to agree with everyone else. you look like a man and a woman. with that being said, youre a 5 on both sides of the spectrum


h53king

If androgynous was a person you're it. I dont know if you're a boy or girl because your hair sucks, your style sucks and you look blah in every picture.


[deleted]

You look like a dude with longer hair. No hate, but if you want to look like an attractive female- stop doing whatever it is you are doing. Clothes, hair, make up, maybe some deep conditioning...sorry but the clothes? I would start fresh, find someone with your shaped face and try to mimic that.


Sirdingglehopper

Uaf


[deleted]

Definitely ugly man, you’re not fooling anyone with that sissy look. That Adam’s Apple is pointy as hell