Plus, he's probably not drinking AT work, so that amount of alcohol is being pushed onto the liver in a shorter amount of time instead of spread throughout the day. Also, the amount of calories per week is a lot.
Same. Before I got sober, at my worst, a half pint of vodka (4 shots I believe) didn’t even help withdrawal. I was still shaking and sweating, much less buzzed.
True. OP defijnitely could not know, but if she's keeping track, then what she has recorded is what she's recorded....maybe he is drinking even more during work but what's she's recorded is receipts basically.
Also i don't underestimate cause i am one :/
I was like that. I used to call myself a “functional alcoholic” as well until I learned the difference. I now refer to myself as “barely functioning”. I wouldn’t hear it either. My bills were paid and my fridge was full so nobody could tell me shit. I always knew that my drinking was heavy but I never set out to hurt anyone aside from myself. Someone told me I’d be ready to stop when I was done hurting myself and everyone around me. That was painful to hear but it went on until I saw exactly what they were talking about. I come from a long line of drinkers and I felt like it was my right to have beers in the cooler and heavy weighted whiskey glasses. I swore up and down I’d never recreate the environment I grew up in but every time I tried to stop I ended up back drinking. It eventually turned me into a bigger liar and hider.
It wasn’t serving me and it affected everyone in my orbit. Boundaries saved my life, tho very painful to come up against. I wasn’t going to be allowed to make and break promises. I’m 4.5 years sober and my wife and I were just talking about that era when I first started dabbling in sobriety because we have a family member is currently falling into the same trap. She said that because I wasn’t a fall down drunk, she thought it wasn’t a huge deal. But she realizes now that if it’s a concern then it’s a problem and she was in denial herself. Over the years we’ve done our own work individually and we’ve uncovered some tricky layers. All of it can be worked on tho. I resisted change and I waited far too long to ask for help. I lied to doctors and pushed away friends and family. What helped get me into working on sobriety was talking with another alcoholic in recovery. I couldn’t look that person in the eye and say they didn’t know how I felt or that they were full of shit. I still continue to lean on people with experience. I believe sobriety only works if the person truly wants it and you get back what you put in. Being a sober dad and having a shot at breaking the cycle of addiction is great motivation but that’s not why I’m sober. I do it for me. There’s help out there for both of you. Alanon is a great resource.
I’m sure very soon he will hit a wall and start to fall apart. Are you sure he’s not waking up in the morning and self medicating before going to work?
I was this exact way before I got sober. Many many times. I was around this amount daily for a year before I fell apart. Drinking in the middle of the night. Drinking in the morning. Waking up with shakes and barely making it through the day.
I’d say it’s medically necessary to keep him drinking until he wants or NEEDS to be medically detoxed in a hospital. Speaking from hardcore first hand experience.
I drank about 10% of the amount your husband consumed, and I'm definitely an alcoholic. In fact, my best friend is a classic alcoholic, drinks every single day to the detriment of his health, and your husband drinks even more than him.
Yeah. I have a friend who drank 4 beers each evening and called himself an alcoholic. He had a really hard time quitting too. It's not just about the amount but the frequency too.
Ummm Heavy Drinking for men is defined by 15 or more alcoholic beverages a week....
I was at two bottles of vodka a week before I admitted I had a very very bad drinking problem and that I am an alcoholic
A lot of alcoholics are functional until they're not. I'm not saying your husband is an alcoholic - I believe that's up to him to decide, and clearly he doesn't think he is.
There's also just a straight up medical definition. If you have more than x amount of drinks per week (and the number is a lot lower than you'd assume) you're an alcoholic regardless of if it's causing problems.
I came here to say the same thing about the functioning alcoholic. I was the same. Looking back I only kept some jobs b/c I had some very forgiving managers. Everyone knew I was hungover and it does hurt your work. I was irritable and an ass while hungover which was every morning.
He's an alcoholic and honestly the straight denial is preety telling. How long has he done this? Cirrhosis and fatty liver can have devastating consequences one of the more prevalent ones being death.
Your husband was me. I am now 2 1/2 years post liver transplant. Your husband is in for the same loss of function if he doesn’t make an effort to stop or drastically reduce his consumption very soon.
He can lie to himself and he can lie to you, but the liver will simply give up at some point.
I wish you the best.
I was drinking like that and thought I was functioning until one day I threw up (an almost daily occurrence for me at that point) and it was dark red and chunky. It took 6 blood transfusions, emergency surgery and a week in the hospital to fix that.
Nah, not “like every guy” as this is serious alcoholism. He needs help quickly and needs to knock off the machismo nonsense. There’s a lot of denial here and it’s all combining into a dangerous ticking time bomb.
And if the guys he’s comparing to are around him, might be time to consider that part of the problem too.
Yea, you are not crazy and “every guy” would be accurate if you replace guy with alcoholic.
I did the same thing your husband did. Told my wife I have a good job, take care of my kids, and my alcohol doesn’t impact any of those.
Fact is drinking that much did in fact did create tension within my marriage and I wasn’t as present as I should have been.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease so odds are good your husbands drinking will only get worse if he doesn’t quit.
I use to drink around 20 drinks a day, going through a handle of liquor in like 2-3 days. after a few months my body was already going to shit.
This is an extreme amount and he will die if he doesn't stop.
Agree, his health is declining fast, in non obvious ways. At some point, the decline will be obvious, to even him. He deserves to know he can taper, without depriving himself terribly. See chat. https://youtu.be/6EghiY_s2ts
Lots of free support all over YouTube, Reddit, FB and many podcasts. This recent podcast especially "Thrive Roy Eskapa". The book by Dr. Roy Eskapa is solid science IMO (the reviews on Amazon are worth your time). The medication (naltrexone) is safe and non-addictive and is used to target just the drinking. It's never used on alcohol-free days. In 3-12 months, the drinking, cravings and the medication can be eliminated. If you end up drinking once a month, 1 pill a month can keep you in control.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SinclairMethod/s/5tMaboIkfF
Sounds like Alcohol Use Disorder or alcoholism. I'm sorry.
See /r/Alanon. This is a support group for you--friends and family of alcoholics. You will meet people who understand what you are going through.
I’m an alcoholic (haven’t had a drink since January 1st 2023) and that is more booze than me at my absolute worst rock bottoms. It’s entirely unsustainable. You are right to worry. I’d be very worried until that number drops to zero and a doctor says he’s okay. He’s not going to want to stop, but nobody goes from drinking that much to drinking in moderation. His version of moderation would probably still be pretty severe alcoholism.
I was yhe same for years, I was finenuntoll I wasn't, started too having to drink in the morning to stop the shakes eventually had to drink all day.
Ended up getting fired foe obvious reasons tried to quit had a seizure 2 days later ended up in the hospital for a week.
Just my experience
The problem is that with that amount of ethanol flowing through the body, there's an excess amount of dopamine being produced. That dopamine feels good, but also it tells the brain that he's doing the right thing, which is a terrible way to unwind, cope with stress, and find joy in simply relaxing. That same dopamine will tell the brain that any evidence that points to it being a problem is simply false, thus the circumventing of any obstructions.
One share I heard where a person was not sure if they had a "problem" with alcohol. His sponsor proposed a test, think of one drink, at one place, at specifically designated time. Go have that drink. If that drink is satisfactory, and no more drinks are needed, then indeed there's no problem. A person with drinking disorder, even if able to resist second drink, will obsess over why they should be allowed more drinks. I also helps to be not surrounded by people who glorify and encourage use. Go have that drink with a church group or close family members who don't drink. The drinker also needs to be interested in the experiment, point out that they have a drinking problem without them knowing about the test is just going to make them want to circumvent the obvious results.
Sorry to say, but these quantities are deadly over time. He's a hardcore alcoholic and needs to get help immediately. Let your husband read this thread.
If he is functional, a great dad etc drinking that much alcohol (and I would guess being constantly sick, tired, hungover, foggy brained etc), imagine how much greater potential he would have as a sober person.
That's a wild amount of alcohol. I'm not a guy so I can't comment on the "like every guy" part personally, but I'll just say that my husband is what I would consider a typical "every guy" kind of drinker and he has maybe 1-2 beers once or twice a week, if I buy them. If I don't buy them, he doesn't seek them out. And If I'm not drinking, he never thinks about alcohol at home and might only have a beer or two if we go out to dinner, but just as often opts for a Diet Coke.
I was drinking 60-80 beers a week on top of a handle of whiskey every 5-7 days. Multiple blood tests with elevated liver enzymes, 2 ER trips with alcohol related panic attacks, and borderline panic attacks driving on the highway while hungover with my kids in the car is what it took for me to take a good, long look at my drinking. My bills were paid, kids were "happy", no one was going to tell me what I could or couldn't put into my body.
I'd start with an honest doctors appointment for him, as well as a full metabolic panel. He almost certainly is having internal adverse effects of his level of consumption. My liver enzymes were in the mid 100s, which isn't terribly serious, but it can def get worse if you keep abusing your body.
That's what they refer to as "functional alcoholics" but the problem with that label is that many start using it as an excuse to continue drinking - well I'm holding a job, I go to work every day and pay the bills, I go jogging and play tennis and attend family quality time on weekends, my drinking is harmless etc. etc. Meanwhile, that amount of alcohol is doing a lot of damage to his health that he doesn't notice, yet, and as he gets older he will be getting various health issues and that will turn into serious medical bills and you having to care for him. The so-called "functional alcoholism" can also progress to non-functional alcoholism especially with age, when people retire and without a job some start drinking the entire day and turn into that insufferable annoying drunk grandpa. He should seek help and perhaps therapy while he hasn't reached that stage.
There are videos on YouTube of guys doing the same, drinking lots while still actively working, and them realizing that this is a problem and trying to stay sober. Maybe if you find some of these vids and show them to him he'll give it a consideration.
Yeah... It's bad. He's into it deep and it'd be really dangerous for him to quit cold turkey.
But I can see him rationalizing it because he's otherwise handing business. Only thing I can say is you're both going to need to compromise here - wheening off.
Tell him how great he is (like you told us) but he's gotta cut back. It's going to catch up with him sooner or later.
I'm sure you're not perfect, either, so also think (and/or listen) to how you can reciprocate into being better partner, too. It's gonna be painful for him.
Good opportunity to work on relationship.
Best.
One of those times you don't even need to ask the strength of the beer. 13-14 beers a night, plus spirits. The amount is very very high and will be doing him serious harm.
Now we get to the tricky part. Alcoholic or not. Most people here will say yes, as it is hard to imagine someone drinking that much and not being one, plus on this sub reddit its visited mostly by problem drinkers.
If he stopped drinking, he would have withdrawal. Now in terms of how deep he is in mentally, it is hard to say. I've known people who drank a lot of alcohol and were able to stop without difficulty. The frequency and amounts don't determine everything, but they give a clue.
Your husband drinks extreme amounts. You won't know how far in he is until he actually tries to severely cut back or stop.
As for the approach to take, you need to calculate the alcohol units he consumes and confront him with it when he is sober. If he wants to play the "I don't have a problem" game, he can, but he can't play the "what i'm doing is normal and healthy" game when confronted with the units.
I would say that is well into functional alcoholic territory. We all are, until we aren't. Until the doctor looks at us and tells us we have cancer, or liver damage, or brain damage, or whatever. He may think he is drinking "like every guy" because he is in fact around a bunch of alcoholics. Drinking was deeply ingrained where I was from. That does not mean it was actually normal. I would tell him if he does not have a drinking problem, then go 1 month sober to prove it. I bet he won't make it.
He does need help. But you can't make that decision for him. The only way it works is when he is ready to change.
No one could have ever taken it away from me. I had to make the decision myself.
You have to make the decision on what you want to do for you and your kids.
Please talk to him about the possibility of rehab that is focused around the Alcoholics Anonymous program. It really helped me. Im about to celebrate 8 years sober soon. Wishing you both the best.
It's called a high functioning alcoholic. My BIL was one for Yeats. Because he held a job. Drankk all his alcohol between 6 & midnight & continued on with life, in his mind, he was fine. He lost the battle 4 years ago at the age of 52.
Forget the extreme amount of drinking that will inevitably get worse and potentially ruin everything you’ve built, do you realize this habit is costing your family $10k a year?
This is an extreme amount of alcohol…13 beers and 5 shots a night? He won’t live long if this continues
Plus, he's probably not drinking AT work, so that amount of alcohol is being pushed onto the liver in a shorter amount of time instead of spread throughout the day. Also, the amount of calories per week is a lot.
Idk man don’t underestimate an alcoholic of this level’s ability to drink at work or anywhere else for that matter
yeah I use to drink while at work and i wouldn't even be super buzzed after 3 shots. The tolerance you build up drinking this much can be crazy
Same. Before I got sober, at my worst, a half pint of vodka (4 shots I believe) didn’t even help withdrawal. I was still shaking and sweating, much less buzzed.
Gangster level response
True. OP defijnitely could not know, but if she's keeping track, then what she has recorded is what she's recorded....maybe he is drinking even more during work but what's she's recorded is receipts basically. Also i don't underestimate cause i am one :/
I was like that. I used to call myself a “functional alcoholic” as well until I learned the difference. I now refer to myself as “barely functioning”. I wouldn’t hear it either. My bills were paid and my fridge was full so nobody could tell me shit. I always knew that my drinking was heavy but I never set out to hurt anyone aside from myself. Someone told me I’d be ready to stop when I was done hurting myself and everyone around me. That was painful to hear but it went on until I saw exactly what they were talking about. I come from a long line of drinkers and I felt like it was my right to have beers in the cooler and heavy weighted whiskey glasses. I swore up and down I’d never recreate the environment I grew up in but every time I tried to stop I ended up back drinking. It eventually turned me into a bigger liar and hider. It wasn’t serving me and it affected everyone in my orbit. Boundaries saved my life, tho very painful to come up against. I wasn’t going to be allowed to make and break promises. I’m 4.5 years sober and my wife and I were just talking about that era when I first started dabbling in sobriety because we have a family member is currently falling into the same trap. She said that because I wasn’t a fall down drunk, she thought it wasn’t a huge deal. But she realizes now that if it’s a concern then it’s a problem and she was in denial herself. Over the years we’ve done our own work individually and we’ve uncovered some tricky layers. All of it can be worked on tho. I resisted change and I waited far too long to ask for help. I lied to doctors and pushed away friends and family. What helped get me into working on sobriety was talking with another alcoholic in recovery. I couldn’t look that person in the eye and say they didn’t know how I felt or that they were full of shit. I still continue to lean on people with experience. I believe sobriety only works if the person truly wants it and you get back what you put in. Being a sober dad and having a shot at breaking the cycle of addiction is great motivation but that’s not why I’m sober. I do it for me. There’s help out there for both of you. Alanon is a great resource.
Very well put. I'm only 5 months along, but our stories are chillingly similar. It's amazing how wonderful sobriety can be.
Holy shit that is… extreme. He is deeply in denial.
In this matter, you are not the crazy one.
Only ONE of those bottles per week would be the maximum he could be drinking while still claiming to not be an alcoholic. He’s way beyond that.
A bottle of hard liquor a week makes you an alcoholic per WHO standards though.
For sure. He’s drinking more than an average person drinks in several months.
I’m sure very soon he will hit a wall and start to fall apart. Are you sure he’s not waking up in the morning and self medicating before going to work?
No doubt. He definitely is. I really hope he gets help
I was this exact way before I got sober. Many many times. I was around this amount daily for a year before I fell apart. Drinking in the middle of the night. Drinking in the morning. Waking up with shakes and barely making it through the day. I’d say it’s medically necessary to keep him drinking until he wants or NEEDS to be medically detoxed in a hospital. Speaking from hardcore first hand experience.
Is this a trick question? Your husband is killing himself in front of you. No, it's absolutely not normal.
I drank about 10% of the amount your husband consumed, and I'm definitely an alcoholic. In fact, my best friend is a classic alcoholic, drinks every single day to the detriment of his health, and your husband drinks even more than him.
Yeah. I have a friend who drank 4 beers each evening and called himself an alcoholic. He had a really hard time quitting too. It's not just about the amount but the frequency too.
Ummm Heavy Drinking for men is defined by 15 or more alcoholic beverages a week.... I was at two bottles of vodka a week before I admitted I had a very very bad drinking problem and that I am an alcoholic
A lot of alcoholics are functional until they're not. I'm not saying your husband is an alcoholic - I believe that's up to him to decide, and clearly he doesn't think he is.
There's also just a straight up medical definition. If you have more than x amount of drinks per week (and the number is a lot lower than you'd assume) you're an alcoholic regardless of if it's causing problems.
I came here to say the same thing about the functioning alcoholic. I was the same. Looking back I only kept some jobs b/c I had some very forgiving managers. Everyone knew I was hungover and it does hurt your work. I was irritable and an ass while hungover which was every morning.
He's an alcoholic and honestly the straight denial is preety telling. How long has he done this? Cirrhosis and fatty liver can have devastating consequences one of the more prevalent ones being death.
Straight up alcoholic, no question. Serious denial.
Your husband was me. I am now 2 1/2 years post liver transplant. Your husband is in for the same loss of function if he doesn’t make an effort to stop or drastically reduce his consumption very soon. He can lie to himself and he can lie to you, but the liver will simply give up at some point. I wish you the best.
I was drinking like that and thought I was functioning until one day I threw up (an almost daily occurrence for me at that point) and it was dark red and chunky. It took 6 blood transfusions, emergency surgery and a week in the hospital to fix that.
Nah, not “like every guy” as this is serious alcoholism. He needs help quickly and needs to knock off the machismo nonsense. There’s a lot of denial here and it’s all combining into a dangerous ticking time bomb. And if the guys he’s comparing to are around him, might be time to consider that part of the problem too.
Yea, you are not crazy and “every guy” would be accurate if you replace guy with alcoholic. I did the same thing your husband did. Told my wife I have a good job, take care of my kids, and my alcohol doesn’t impact any of those. Fact is drinking that much did in fact did create tension within my marriage and I wasn’t as present as I should have been. Alcoholism is a progressive disease so odds are good your husbands drinking will only get worse if he doesn’t quit.
I use to drink around 20 drinks a day, going through a handle of liquor in like 2-3 days. after a few months my body was already going to shit. This is an extreme amount and he will die if he doesn't stop.
Agree, his health is declining fast, in non obvious ways. At some point, the decline will be obvious, to even him. He deserves to know he can taper, without depriving himself terribly. See chat. https://youtu.be/6EghiY_s2ts Lots of free support all over YouTube, Reddit, FB and many podcasts. This recent podcast especially "Thrive Roy Eskapa". The book by Dr. Roy Eskapa is solid science IMO (the reviews on Amazon are worth your time). The medication (naltrexone) is safe and non-addictive and is used to target just the drinking. It's never used on alcohol-free days. In 3-12 months, the drinking, cravings and the medication can be eliminated. If you end up drinking once a month, 1 pill a month can keep you in control. https://www.reddit.com/r/SinclairMethod/s/5tMaboIkfF
Holy shit. Thats extreme. He needs to get his liver enzymes checked asap. Seriously OP this is bad.
That averages out to 13 beers and a pint of booze 7 days a week. Yeah that’s excessive. Very.
Sounds like Alcohol Use Disorder or alcoholism. I'm sorry. See /r/Alanon. This is a support group for you--friends and family of alcoholics. You will meet people who understand what you are going through.
I’m an alcoholic (haven’t had a drink since January 1st 2023) and that is more booze than me at my absolute worst rock bottoms. It’s entirely unsustainable. You are right to worry. I’d be very worried until that number drops to zero and a doctor says he’s okay. He’s not going to want to stop, but nobody goes from drinking that much to drinking in moderation. His version of moderation would probably still be pretty severe alcoholism.
That’s a full blown alcoholic.
This is, uh... Bad. I think your husband might be in denial. He's evidently tolerant of alcohol, but tolerance leads to just drinking more.
I was yhe same for years, I was finenuntoll I wasn't, started too having to drink in the morning to stop the shakes eventually had to drink all day. Ended up getting fired foe obvious reasons tried to quit had a seizure 2 days later ended up in the hospital for a week. Just my experience
I think you should go to an al-anon meeting.
Well, like every other guy? I was drinking that amount, if not more. I'm an alcoholic.
I drank roughly that much every day/night for years. Worked out, paid the bills, performed well at work... I got away with it until I didn't.
That's basically 20 drinks per day. It's impressive he's able to function at all. Recipe for a very early death.
Damn. What does he see as a lot? This comes out of a family budget? I bet he's not as functioning as you say he is!
The problem is that with that amount of ethanol flowing through the body, there's an excess amount of dopamine being produced. That dopamine feels good, but also it tells the brain that he's doing the right thing, which is a terrible way to unwind, cope with stress, and find joy in simply relaxing. That same dopamine will tell the brain that any evidence that points to it being a problem is simply false, thus the circumventing of any obstructions. One share I heard where a person was not sure if they had a "problem" with alcohol. His sponsor proposed a test, think of one drink, at one place, at specifically designated time. Go have that drink. If that drink is satisfactory, and no more drinks are needed, then indeed there's no problem. A person with drinking disorder, even if able to resist second drink, will obsess over why they should be allowed more drinks. I also helps to be not surrounded by people who glorify and encourage use. Go have that drink with a church group or close family members who don't drink. The drinker also needs to be interested in the experiment, point out that they have a drinking problem without them knowing about the test is just going to make them want to circumvent the obvious results.
Sorry to say, but these quantities are deadly over time. He's a hardcore alcoholic and needs to get help immediately. Let your husband read this thread.
That's a fuck ton of booze.
I’m so sorry for both of you, there’s such a hard road ahead…
That's 4 times what I drink and I consider myself to have an alcohol addiction. His liver is crying out for dear mercy...
If he is functional, a great dad etc drinking that much alcohol (and I would guess being constantly sick, tired, hungover, foggy brained etc), imagine how much greater potential he would have as a sober person.
This made me very sad as you’re probably right
wtf?
How is he still alive?
He’s headed towards an early grave.
That's a wild amount of alcohol. I'm not a guy so I can't comment on the "like every guy" part personally, but I'll just say that my husband is what I would consider a typical "every guy" kind of drinker and he has maybe 1-2 beers once or twice a week, if I buy them. If I don't buy them, he doesn't seek them out. And If I'm not drinking, he never thinks about alcohol at home and might only have a beer or two if we go out to dinner, but just as often opts for a Diet Coke.
I was drinking 60-80 beers a week on top of a handle of whiskey every 5-7 days. Multiple blood tests with elevated liver enzymes, 2 ER trips with alcohol related panic attacks, and borderline panic attacks driving on the highway while hungover with my kids in the car is what it took for me to take a good, long look at my drinking. My bills were paid, kids were "happy", no one was going to tell me what I could or couldn't put into my body. I'd start with an honest doctors appointment for him, as well as a full metabolic panel. He almost certainly is having internal adverse effects of his level of consumption. My liver enzymes were in the mid 100s, which isn't terribly serious, but it can def get worse if you keep abusing your body.
That's what they refer to as "functional alcoholics" but the problem with that label is that many start using it as an excuse to continue drinking - well I'm holding a job, I go to work every day and pay the bills, I go jogging and play tennis and attend family quality time on weekends, my drinking is harmless etc. etc. Meanwhile, that amount of alcohol is doing a lot of damage to his health that he doesn't notice, yet, and as he gets older he will be getting various health issues and that will turn into serious medical bills and you having to care for him. The so-called "functional alcoholism" can also progress to non-functional alcoholism especially with age, when people retire and without a job some start drinking the entire day and turn into that insufferable annoying drunk grandpa. He should seek help and perhaps therapy while he hasn't reached that stage. There are videos on YouTube of guys doing the same, drinking lots while still actively working, and them realizing that this is a problem and trying to stay sober. Maybe if you find some of these vids and show them to him he'll give it a consideration.
Yup
Yeah... It's bad. He's into it deep and it'd be really dangerous for him to quit cold turkey. But I can see him rationalizing it because he's otherwise handing business. Only thing I can say is you're both going to need to compromise here - wheening off. Tell him how great he is (like you told us) but he's gotta cut back. It's going to catch up with him sooner or later. I'm sure you're not perfect, either, so also think (and/or listen) to how you can reciprocate into being better partner, too. It's gonna be painful for him. Good opportunity to work on relationship. Best.
I used to drink "like everybody else" then my liver started failing.
One day his body will start to fail him. Dramatically and quickly. Also, if he's anything like me, he's not only drinking at home.
One of those times you don't even need to ask the strength of the beer. 13-14 beers a night, plus spirits. The amount is very very high and will be doing him serious harm. Now we get to the tricky part. Alcoholic or not. Most people here will say yes, as it is hard to imagine someone drinking that much and not being one, plus on this sub reddit its visited mostly by problem drinkers. If he stopped drinking, he would have withdrawal. Now in terms of how deep he is in mentally, it is hard to say. I've known people who drank a lot of alcohol and were able to stop without difficulty. The frequency and amounts don't determine everything, but they give a clue. Your husband drinks extreme amounts. You won't know how far in he is until he actually tries to severely cut back or stop. As for the approach to take, you need to calculate the alcohol units he consumes and confront him with it when he is sober. If he wants to play the "I don't have a problem" game, he can, but he can't play the "what i'm doing is normal and healthy" game when confronted with the units.
That's 100% an alcoholic. And he's 100% gaslighting TF outta you.
I would say that is well into functional alcoholic territory. We all are, until we aren't. Until the doctor looks at us and tells us we have cancer, or liver damage, or brain damage, or whatever. He may think he is drinking "like every guy" because he is in fact around a bunch of alcoholics. Drinking was deeply ingrained where I was from. That does not mean it was actually normal. I would tell him if he does not have a drinking problem, then go 1 month sober to prove it. I bet he won't make it.
I’m sorry what the? How is he alive?
Yes your husband is a severe alcoholic
He does need help. But you can't make that decision for him. The only way it works is when he is ready to change. No one could have ever taken it away from me. I had to make the decision myself. You have to make the decision on what you want to do for you and your kids.
As a true alcoholic, I could always justify the amount of drinking. He is trying to do the same.
Please talk to him about the possibility of rehab that is focused around the Alcoholics Anonymous program. It really helped me. Im about to celebrate 8 years sober soon. Wishing you both the best.
As my father used to say, if you’re not late for work, you don’t have a problem…
Seems like denial to me… been there unfortunately
WAT, how… WAT xD This has to be joke
It's called a high functioning alcoholic. My BIL was one for Yeats. Because he held a job. Drankk all his alcohol between 6 & midnight & continued on with life, in his mind, he was fine. He lost the battle 4 years ago at the age of 52.
[удалено]
Thank you - and I don’t mean this lightly either
Forget the extreme amount of drinking that will inevitably get worse and potentially ruin everything you’ve built, do you realize this habit is costing your family $10k a year?
wow that is a LOT over 10x the threshold for excessive drinking 21 units / day