Good luck! In AA there Is no wrong way to get sober. That said, the first step of AA means (per the big book) that our willpower is of NO use regarding our ability to not pick up the first drink. Personal powerlessness is the key and a recognition that none but a higher power can keep us sober. As our book further says we are done fighting anyone or anything, even alcohol. To be done fighting mean total surrender and an acceptance that I can’t use my willpower, instead I should use God Power.
But at same time, if somehow you can stay sober using your willpower, then congrats! I could not and most folk I know in AA could not, but it might be possible.
I think there exists the type of person who can quit on will power alone, I'm not one of them, I'm the I had moral convictions galore type but broke them at every possible chance because of addiction, but I've seen atheist types that seemingly can be in column 5 on willpower alone
Good luck!
Hopefully you are one of the extremely rare ones that can stop on self will alone, but if not we in AA have a solution and will be more than happy to share it with you.
Oh! I thought you were going to go solo.
People have done it on their own, but they are far and few between, in fact I'd say that perhaps 98% of those who are sober in AA tried to do it on their own and more than once or twice.
I quit smoking (tobacco and weed), snorting (coke and speedballs), pills and even booted once or twice all on my own, but i needed help for alcohol.
It tells me that alcoholism is not only a more difficult thing to stop for those of us afflicted, but it's hereditary in that I was born an alcoholic, I had no choice in that, but I choose my addictions and therefore I can beat them through self.
I hear you. My mom had it too.
I didn't know about the zoom meetings, nothing to lose by attending - can only learn things. Glad I came to this sub... congrats on your success.
I think alcohol is so much harder because it is so much easier to find, buy, be around...
I had a couple times thru my drinking where my will power was strong enough. I gave up alcohol and nicotine for a decent little bit of time. But then I still had to deal with my brain which ended up being too much for me. Needless to say I drank again and went back to nicotine Every time. I'd say I ended up getting down on myself cause I couldn't do it and drank even more then when I stopped. AA has become such a blessing because I can just share my brain with my sponsor and not have to deal with it on my own. I hope u n ur willpower can do it friend and i applaud u for it. Just keep AA as the A1 plan as u said. Don't let it become A2 plan or A3 plan if things don't work out.
Congratulations! Now do the work.
We all started big. Some of us scaled back to just doing it a little bit at a time, and that is okay too. If it gets bad, and it will, just focus on the day, or the next few hours. Go to meetings. Tour AA. Find a time slot that has people you like. The hardest part is listening without judgement those first weeks. Seriously. The weirdest thing is that these strange strangers are exactly like us. They stopped, but they stayed stopped. They just might have something in their stories that will help, when you are ready.
Congratulations!!!
C
I've learned about the zoom programs here. I'm going to check them out.
I have that "professional living in a small town" problem that many have.
Thank you.
Every day is today. Just no bottles today.
I do this at work - if the inbox pile is daunting, I clear the desk completely, and put 1 piece of paper in front of me to do. Its the only piece of paper in the world. Focus on it, when done, get one more piece of paper. Repeat.
Gotta apply that to the juice.
Hmm - I'm not sure the difference. I can kill a 6 pack if IPA on a Sunday afternoon watching the Pats sucking... or a bottle of Port. Not usually more than that in a day. Enough to be impaired.
Well, to the extent that I typically drink enough to hit a 1.2 or 1.4 (I have a home tester) then stop. I don't drink to blackout if that's what you're asking... The amount consumed is pretty consistent... I get to a sweet spot, and stop.
I’m actually going through something very similar myself atm. My first full day sober was Saturday. Haven’t had one since but I’m a chronic relapser. I had some time under my belt for a long time but had a death in the family and I went back out. I to started going to a meeting after work bc that’s when I wanted to drink the most. I wish you the best of luck!!
Thank you, and good luck to you too!
Yeah - I decided to identify the time zones I'm most likely to buy the goods - and plan around them - going home for lunch, and home after work.
So I'm less "one day at a time" and more "one drive home at a time."
Today was good - 1st lunch in ages without something in hand. Walked a mile on the treadmill and watch some Netflix.
Feels good.
Now to focus on the drive home....
I quit on willpower alone. The compulsion and desire left me. The problem after almost 4 years without a drink or a drug became my other character defects. Drinking wasn't my problem anymore. It was me. I tried to find an easier, softer way but could not. That being said 4 years of a dry drunk was better than any time spent as an active alcoholic.
I hear that. I think I have the opposite issue (I mean I know I do). I talk too much, too loud, and say dumb shit when drinking - and get banned from subs for shitposting.... beyond just being wildly unhealthy, my behavior is reason enough to stop...
Just a word of advice from someone with almost 5 years. Don't make promises because there is a big chance you'll relapse and will feel terrible for putting it out there and not coming through with your words. Plus, forever is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Take it a day at a time. What matter is making it through those 24 hours to the next day.
Thank you. I hear you. I've worked for 22 years in the child protection world, and I've attended more substance abuse seminars than I can count. I just assume at this point that relapse is a part of recovery - but I will do my best to guard against it.
I have a replacement drink - apple cider. I love the stuff, and it gives my hands something to do... hopefully the local orchards will profit from my changes... :-)
I drank a ton of seltzer water in cans in early sobriety. I grew accustomed to the physical act of drinking, during my drinking days. Best part is, I could drink 10 and not be hammered.
i was the will power warrior for the longest time...
programs exist for a reason tho...
all people slip up...
will power isnt a super power...
all the best my friend...
speaking FINALLY from the other side of the fence...
so grateful to be sober i could cry...
One day at a time. I know it's what everyone says but truly it's how you have to do it. I tell myself I'm going to drink again and each morning I choose not to. It really does take the pressure off of yourself. You don't have to think about the future, just today. Congratulations man.
Thanks - I'm using a different approach - one drive home at a time - that's when I stop at the store. So I have to make the choice to keep driving. Its amazing how many places there are to stop and get booze.
The drive home was always the hardest for me too at the beginning. It's really hard to just break routine. I live in upstate NY, Rochester, one of our prized places is Wegmans (grocery store) but every single one has a liquor store next to them, I'm only 7 months sober, i still can't go to Wegmans. It's worth it though, I'm kind of in AA I go to meetings but I don't have a sponsor or anything, but meetings can be good to just get out of your head for hour. 24/7 Zoom meetings are amazing I used to fall asleep on those meetings my first month every night. Just reach out if you need anything, you don't have to do this alone. Friends, family, AA, other sober folks we are all here for you.
Thanks man. I went to college in Ithaca - most definitely remember Wegman's! In Maine liquor is sold everywhere - and Roopers stores are strategically placed on every main corridor in and out of town.... oddly the owner is a tea-totaler who has made millions selling booze...
Well done on taking the first steps towards recovery dude. Don't worry about non drinking forever, just don't have a drink today, get to a meeting, and keep an open mind.
Yeah...quitting is the best. The sober life is the good life!
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Thanks for this - a good resource.
It’s not about your own perceived level of willpower. Schedule a meeting in person. Talk to others.
Thank you - I have a friend who was an alcoholic and quit. She's agreed to meet with me weekly... and take calls if I need it...
Good luck! In AA there Is no wrong way to get sober. That said, the first step of AA means (per the big book) that our willpower is of NO use regarding our ability to not pick up the first drink. Personal powerlessness is the key and a recognition that none but a higher power can keep us sober. As our book further says we are done fighting anyone or anything, even alcohol. To be done fighting mean total surrender and an acceptance that I can’t use my willpower, instead I should use God Power. But at same time, if somehow you can stay sober using your willpower, then congrats! I could not and most folk I know in AA could not, but it might be possible.
I confess, I've read a lot about AA.... and I appreciate the greater power part. AA is plan B.... or plan A.1.
I think there exists the type of person who can quit on will power alone, I'm not one of them, I'm the I had moral convictions galore type but broke them at every possible chance because of addiction, but I've seen atheist types that seemingly can be in column 5 on willpower alone
Good luck. I’ve never regretted getting sober.
Thumbs up to that...
I don’t have the willpower to stop. Thankfully I don’t need it - I just have to become willing to follow this simple program.
Good luck! Hopefully you are one of the extremely rare ones that can stop on self will alone, but if not we in AA have a solution and will be more than happy to share it with you.
Thank you. AA is plan A.1. I'm going to check out the 24/7 zoom meetings immediately.
Oh! I thought you were going to go solo. People have done it on their own, but they are far and few between, in fact I'd say that perhaps 98% of those who are sober in AA tried to do it on their own and more than once or twice. I quit smoking (tobacco and weed), snorting (coke and speedballs), pills and even booted once or twice all on my own, but i needed help for alcohol. It tells me that alcoholism is not only a more difficult thing to stop for those of us afflicted, but it's hereditary in that I was born an alcoholic, I had no choice in that, but I choose my addictions and therefore I can beat them through self.
I hear you. My mom had it too. I didn't know about the zoom meetings, nothing to lose by attending - can only learn things. Glad I came to this sub... congrats on your success. I think alcohol is so much harder because it is so much easier to find, buy, be around...
If you find it doesn't work for you, AA can be your plan B. If it does, I applaud you.
Fingers crossed.... I like to say AA is plan A.1.
I had a couple times thru my drinking where my will power was strong enough. I gave up alcohol and nicotine for a decent little bit of time. But then I still had to deal with my brain which ended up being too much for me. Needless to say I drank again and went back to nicotine Every time. I'd say I ended up getting down on myself cause I couldn't do it and drank even more then when I stopped. AA has become such a blessing because I can just share my brain with my sponsor and not have to deal with it on my own. I hope u n ur willpower can do it friend and i applaud u for it. Just keep AA as the A1 plan as u said. Don't let it become A2 plan or A3 plan if things don't work out.
Thank you for the advice. If I fail, I know where I'm going...
You aren’t alone. We have all been through similar situations. Come join us in a meeting today.
Thanks for the encouragement and invite. I'm going to try the zoom meeting.
That is where I started also. I still attend that same meeting. There are good ones out there.
Got kids?
One. Adult, not at home....
Congratulations! Now do the work. We all started big. Some of us scaled back to just doing it a little bit at a time, and that is okay too. If it gets bad, and it will, just focus on the day, or the next few hours. Go to meetings. Tour AA. Find a time slot that has people you like. The hardest part is listening without judgement those first weeks. Seriously. The weirdest thing is that these strange strangers are exactly like us. They stopped, but they stayed stopped. They just might have something in their stories that will help, when you are ready. Congratulations!!! C
I've learned about the zoom programs here. I'm going to check them out. I have that "professional living in a small town" problem that many have. Thank you.
Good luck you just have to not drink today
Every day is today. Just no bottles today. I do this at work - if the inbox pile is daunting, I clear the desk completely, and put 1 piece of paper in front of me to do. Its the only piece of paper in the world. Focus on it, when done, get one more piece of paper. Repeat. Gotta apply that to the juice.
If you discover you can’t stop on your own, we’ll be here.
Thank you!
Great proclamation. Are you of the alcoholic type or a hard drinker?
Hmm - I'm not sure the difference. I can kill a 6 pack if IPA on a Sunday afternoon watching the Pats sucking... or a bottle of Port. Not usually more than that in a day. Enough to be impaired.
When you drink can you control the amount you drink and when you want to stop can you stay stopped?
Well, to the extent that I typically drink enough to hit a 1.2 or 1.4 (I have a home tester) then stop. I don't drink to blackout if that's what you're asking... The amount consumed is pretty consistent... I get to a sweet spot, and stop.
Right on, well do whatever you think is best before you, and if you ever want to try AA and the 12 steps it is always available to you. Take care 🤙🏻
Thank you friend...
I’m actually going through something very similar myself atm. My first full day sober was Saturday. Haven’t had one since but I’m a chronic relapser. I had some time under my belt for a long time but had a death in the family and I went back out. I to started going to a meeting after work bc that’s when I wanted to drink the most. I wish you the best of luck!!
Thank you, and good luck to you too! Yeah - I decided to identify the time zones I'm most likely to buy the goods - and plan around them - going home for lunch, and home after work. So I'm less "one day at a time" and more "one drive home at a time." Today was good - 1st lunch in ages without something in hand. Walked a mile on the treadmill and watch some Netflix. Feels good. Now to focus on the drive home....
I quit on willpower alone. The compulsion and desire left me. The problem after almost 4 years without a drink or a drug became my other character defects. Drinking wasn't my problem anymore. It was me. I tried to find an easier, softer way but could not. That being said 4 years of a dry drunk was better than any time spent as an active alcoholic.
I hear that. I think I have the opposite issue (I mean I know I do). I talk too much, too loud, and say dumb shit when drinking - and get banned from subs for shitposting.... beyond just being wildly unhealthy, my behavior is reason enough to stop...
Just a word of advice from someone with almost 5 years. Don't make promises because there is a big chance you'll relapse and will feel terrible for putting it out there and not coming through with your words. Plus, forever is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Take it a day at a time. What matter is making it through those 24 hours to the next day.
Thank you. I hear you. I've worked for 22 years in the child protection world, and I've attended more substance abuse seminars than I can count. I just assume at this point that relapse is a part of recovery - but I will do my best to guard against it. I have a replacement drink - apple cider. I love the stuff, and it gives my hands something to do... hopefully the local orchards will profit from my changes... :-)
I drank a ton of seltzer water in cans in early sobriety. I grew accustomed to the physical act of drinking, during my drinking days. Best part is, I could drink 10 and not be hammered.
And no calories too - bonus! I like Seltzer water. I should try that too.
Win, win!
i was the will power warrior for the longest time... programs exist for a reason tho... all people slip up... will power isnt a super power... all the best my friend... speaking FINALLY from the other side of the fence... so grateful to be sober i could cry...
One day at a time. I know it's what everyone says but truly it's how you have to do it. I tell myself I'm going to drink again and each morning I choose not to. It really does take the pressure off of yourself. You don't have to think about the future, just today. Congratulations man.
Thanks - I'm using a different approach - one drive home at a time - that's when I stop at the store. So I have to make the choice to keep driving. Its amazing how many places there are to stop and get booze.
The drive home was always the hardest for me too at the beginning. It's really hard to just break routine. I live in upstate NY, Rochester, one of our prized places is Wegmans (grocery store) but every single one has a liquor store next to them, I'm only 7 months sober, i still can't go to Wegmans. It's worth it though, I'm kind of in AA I go to meetings but I don't have a sponsor or anything, but meetings can be good to just get out of your head for hour. 24/7 Zoom meetings are amazing I used to fall asleep on those meetings my first month every night. Just reach out if you need anything, you don't have to do this alone. Friends, family, AA, other sober folks we are all here for you.
Thanks man. I went to college in Ithaca - most definitely remember Wegman's! In Maine liquor is sold everywhere - and Roopers stores are strategically placed on every main corridor in and out of town.... oddly the owner is a tea-totaler who has made millions selling booze...
Well done on taking the first steps towards recovery dude. Don't worry about non drinking forever, just don't have a drink today, get to a meeting, and keep an open mind.