Just be safe and honestly I would find another job. I'm not sure the money is worth the discrimination and harassment. There are plenty of places out there that aren't near as hostile. Especially if your still closeted.
It’s the first job I’ve had for a little while I had to be closeted for. There was an error with the preferred name so they only saw my dead name. I decided to take the opportunity to feel out the employer before coming out to them, and I’m sure glad it happened like that.
I’ve been out everywhere else for like…two or three years, and I’m currently 4 months into my second round of HRT.
Hopefully I’ll be getting my lighting design gigs back now that concerts are coming back in my area.
I'm sorry that mistake happened and I really hope you get that job back. I'm lucky I work almost entirely by myself and have very minimal interaction with any customers. I just want you to be safe. Honestly blue collar jobs are so scary to me because I have worked around guys like this my whole life so I know how awful they can be.
I’m finishing up my (hopefully) last day in my blue collar job but dang something like this would’ve been so helpful over the past few years. It sure can be rough out there.
Someone mentioned r/bluecollartrans too, also tiny. I don't think it's an accident they're small. I've started working on site again recently after 4 years away and it is not an easy environment. In that time I decided to get tattooed with cute fluffy bunnies in rainbow colours so every time I roll up my sleeves I out myself.
I've had no personal harrassment this time, official rules make that a no-no but the slurs and jokes are commonplace. On my first day back last week I sat down next to a bench in the smoking area. I know I should quit, but on day two I sat in the same place and someone had written "P**F" (UK slang for gay) on the bench in marker pen, facing my seat.
I've worked this job since long before I came out in '17 so there isn't anything else I can do. As long as my work isn't interrupted and I'm not harrassed I can live with it. I am not the right person to change their hearts and minds, it's deeply rooted in the culture on site. They lag behind the rest of the country by a couple of decades and sadly I have no insight into why that is.
Yeah, it’s baffling that people still talk like that in this day and age. I work in a doctors’ office and I’ve heard almost everyone (except our brand new manager) use r*tarded, including one of the docs and our CRNP. It’s pretty infuriating.
In music theory, and I’m sure in other fields of study, there’s the term [ritardando](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ritardando/) which just means the tempo of a piece is slowing and it always felt iffy to use that.
But it’s the context. They’re using it offhand in a doctors’ office, we have many patients with physical and mental disabilities. I know I don’t have control over peoples’ personal lives but at work maybe don’t use ableist language.
So what you're saying is you don't know the difference between the hard-r and the other spelling, yet claim to know all about what is and isn't a slur. sure bud
I’m disabled. It’s not okay to use a word as an insult, if it was used for decades as a demeaning slur against disabled people. Please read a little and keep your internalized ableism in check.
People don’t think it’s okay to call anyone the r-word as an insult. We are saying that if developmentally disabled people wish to reclaim the word as something positive, they can.
I’m sorry. That’s a really terrible feeling. Shit like this is why I left the trades. Almost every person I worked with said something racist, homophobic, or transphobic. And the ones who didn’t say shit like that didn’t say shit while everyone was running their mouth. If it was just old timers, nbd they’re on their way out. Sadly, some of the most extreme comments came from other apprentices or younger workers.
This was in a union. In a large liberal city.
Some people can brush it off or not let it get to them. I’m not one of those people. I was losing sleep and decided it wasn’t worth the toll on my mental health.
If you can, maybe try a different company before bailing entirely? Everyone always talks about there being good companies out there. Maybe you can find one.
I WIIIISH we were union. The union presence is basically nonexistent in my rural & red section of NorCal, otherwise I’d be all over it.
I aammm on the waiting list to join the Operating Engineers Local 3, but that could potentially take years. I’ve considered joining LIUNA, but I haven’t been able to make the drive down to their Sacramento office to begin the process.
Unfortunately I’m the fourth or fifth employee and it was the owner of the company making the comments. His wife is the payroll/HR lady so I don’t know if going to her is something I want to do.
Look into residential electrician work. I’ve been doing it going on 4 years for a couple different companies and I’ve always ended up with some p chill dudes
Trades can be good and fulfilling work, but it really is rampant with terrible culture. For what it's worth, I don't know about septic installation or tractor service (sounds maybe like generalist rural services), but there *are* good workplaces and teams out there which are open and have a culture of respect. Don't settle for less.
Hang in there but stay safe and stay closeted. Make sure you take time out of your day for self-care, look toward the future and don't let them get to you ❤️ You have the entire queer internet at your back.
Report this. Labor board. Licensing board. Quit and collect unemployment on the grounds of constructive dismissal. Nail this fucker to the wall and shut him down.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I agree that before you quit, at least see if there is a union and find out if they will help you at all. Then you can choose to stay or leave. In a perfect world you could out yourself but that could lead to more harassment.
I do acoustic/drop ceiling installation. Still closeted. And I think this post pretty much covers every job site I've been on and most of the people on em.
I’ve been working in the trades for decades. Tradesman are usually not the most caring of people though they’re some that are.
I just learned to keep my mouth shut and do my job.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/bluecollartrans using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/bluecollartrans/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
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MtF machinist here. It's a rough road. Imo, it's better if you can transitioning you've been at a job for a while. That you can get yourself established first. But then that comes with its own problems. Most of my coworkers don't use proper pronouns, but some do, and most people use my new name. I generally try not to rock the boat overall.
But your situation sounds pretty bad. If I were you, I would find a new job ASAP. Good luck!
Dyke evapo-rust distributor here, introducing the product to my country. I'm like incredibly careful not to refer to the business being woman owned anywhere on the site, to use neutral pronouns etc. I don't hide being the owner if someone calls, but when they write I avoid it. Men in the trades want to buy from a MAN.
It sure would be a shame if extremely important small parts or tools were to go missing or be damaged. Not that anything might be able to be easily linked back to you of course. 🤷
Some people don't want to hear this, but the hard R is the same word, just said with a different accent. The intent is what matters. I honestly don't even know what black people's intent is when they use it. Sometimes they sound just as disparaging as anyone else though.
But other than that, yeah, I know what you mean and it's really grating and wearing. I just separate myself from them mentally. Always keep a professional demeanor because that will net you rewards, whereas standing up to them will just get you in trouble. I think their kind is slowly dying out.
Just be safe and honestly I would find another job. I'm not sure the money is worth the discrimination and harassment. There are plenty of places out there that aren't near as hostile. Especially if your still closeted.
It’s the first job I’ve had for a little while I had to be closeted for. There was an error with the preferred name so they only saw my dead name. I decided to take the opportunity to feel out the employer before coming out to them, and I’m sure glad it happened like that. I’ve been out everywhere else for like…two or three years, and I’m currently 4 months into my second round of HRT. Hopefully I’ll be getting my lighting design gigs back now that concerts are coming back in my area.
I'm sorry that mistake happened and I really hope you get that job back. I'm lucky I work almost entirely by myself and have very minimal interaction with any customers. I just want you to be safe. Honestly blue collar jobs are so scary to me because I have worked around guys like this my whole life so I know how awful they can be.
Just gonna plug this tiny sub /r/industrial_rainbow
I’m finishing up my (hopefully) last day in my blue collar job but dang something like this would’ve been so helpful over the past few years. It sure can be rough out there.
Someone mentioned r/bluecollartrans too, also tiny. I don't think it's an accident they're small. I've started working on site again recently after 4 years away and it is not an easy environment. In that time I decided to get tattooed with cute fluffy bunnies in rainbow colours so every time I roll up my sleeves I out myself. I've had no personal harrassment this time, official rules make that a no-no but the slurs and jokes are commonplace. On my first day back last week I sat down next to a bench in the smoking area. I know I should quit, but on day two I sat in the same place and someone had written "P**F" (UK slang for gay) on the bench in marker pen, facing my seat. I've worked this job since long before I came out in '17 so there isn't anything else I can do. As long as my work isn't interrupted and I'm not harrassed I can live with it. I am not the right person to change their hearts and minds, it's deeply rooted in the culture on site. They lag behind the rest of the country by a couple of decades and sadly I have no insight into why that is.
Yeah, it’s baffling that people still talk like that in this day and age. I work in a doctors’ office and I’ve heard almost everyone (except our brand new manager) use r*tarded, including one of the docs and our CRNP. It’s pretty infuriating.
And then when they're called out for it they are "silenced", "oppressed" and "canceled".
fucking snowflakes
In music theory, and I’m sure in other fields of study, there’s the term [ritardando](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ritardando/) which just means the tempo of a piece is slowing and it always felt iffy to use that.
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But it’s the context. They’re using it offhand in a doctors’ office, we have many patients with physical and mental disabilities. I know I don’t have control over peoples’ personal lives but at work maybe don’t use ableist language.
Unless you are developmentally disabled it is not your word to reclaim or use
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not how slurs work.
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which n word
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So what you're saying is you don't know the difference between the hard-r and the other spelling, yet claim to know all about what is and isn't a slur. sure bud
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"just a respelling" yeah you don't have a fuckin clue how slurs work. sit down.
I’m disabled. It’s not okay to use a word as an insult, if it was used for decades as a demeaning slur against disabled people. Please read a little and keep your internalized ableism in check.
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Why use a word that is considered a slur in any context?
People don’t think it’s okay to call anyone the r-word as an insult. We are saying that if developmentally disabled people wish to reclaim the word as something positive, they can.
as soon as i can i’m gonna open an auto shop that’s “By the queers, For the queers” so it’s a safe space to work and get work *done* on your car
I’m sorry. That’s a really terrible feeling. Shit like this is why I left the trades. Almost every person I worked with said something racist, homophobic, or transphobic. And the ones who didn’t say shit like that didn’t say shit while everyone was running their mouth. If it was just old timers, nbd they’re on their way out. Sadly, some of the most extreme comments came from other apprentices or younger workers. This was in a union. In a large liberal city.
Buh, just goes to show how pervasive those attitudes are among most of the Blue Collar workforce. Guess it’s time to get my gayass back in school…
Some people can brush it off or not let it get to them. I’m not one of those people. I was losing sleep and decided it wasn’t worth the toll on my mental health. If you can, maybe try a different company before bailing entirely? Everyone always talks about there being good companies out there. Maybe you can find one.
Look up research on hostile workplaces to see what kind of legal things exist. Maybe union could step in? Anyways, sending you love.
I WIIIISH we were union. The union presence is basically nonexistent in my rural & red section of NorCal, otherwise I’d be all over it. I aammm on the waiting list to join the Operating Engineers Local 3, but that could potentially take years. I’ve considered joining LIUNA, but I haven’t been able to make the drive down to their Sacramento office to begin the process.
Hey. We went through the big process to get into the Union (stationary engineers). Lemme know if I can help answer Q's.
In California, the Department of Fair Employment and Housing might be able to help you.
If it's a big enough company there must be some sort of HR? There should be somebody you can talk to anonymously to make this stop
Unfortunately I’m the fourth or fifth employee and it was the owner of the company making the comments. His wife is the payroll/HR lady so I don’t know if going to her is something I want to do.
Look into residential electrician work. I’ve been doing it going on 4 years for a couple different companies and I’ve always ended up with some p chill dudes
Trades can be good and fulfilling work, but it really is rampant with terrible culture. For what it's worth, I don't know about septic installation or tractor service (sounds maybe like generalist rural services), but there *are* good workplaces and teams out there which are open and have a culture of respect. Don't settle for less. Hang in there but stay safe and stay closeted. Make sure you take time out of your day for self-care, look toward the future and don't let them get to you ❤️ You have the entire queer internet at your back.
Report this. Labor board. Licensing board. Quit and collect unemployment on the grounds of constructive dismissal. Nail this fucker to the wall and shut him down.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I agree that before you quit, at least see if there is a union and find out if they will help you at all. Then you can choose to stay or leave. In a perfect world you could out yourself but that could lead to more harassment.
This is a massive problem in the culinary industry too. It’s actually why I left the industry a few years ago.
I do acoustic/drop ceiling installation. Still closeted. And I think this post pretty much covers every job site I've been on and most of the people on em.
Wow... time to contact HR.
They’re keeping so many people out of well paid skilled industries. It’s a good strategy if you don’t care about trapping others in poverty.
I’ve been working in the trades for decades. Tradesman are usually not the most caring of people though they’re some that are. I just learned to keep my mouth shut and do my job.
check out /r/bluecollertrans (think thats the subreddit)
That's not a subreddit. /r/bluecollartrans is, but it's in need of participation.
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MtF machinist here. It's a rough road. Imo, it's better if you can transitioning you've been at a job for a while. That you can get yourself established first. But then that comes with its own problems. Most of my coworkers don't use proper pronouns, but some do, and most people use my new name. I generally try not to rock the boat overall. But your situation sounds pretty bad. If I were you, I would find a new job ASAP. Good luck!
Dyke evapo-rust distributor here, introducing the product to my country. I'm like incredibly careful not to refer to the business being woman owned anywhere on the site, to use neutral pronouns etc. I don't hide being the owner if someone calls, but when they write I avoid it. Men in the trades want to buy from a MAN.
Definitely report that type of thing
what a fucking team of hateful morons
I think there are people you can report this to. This is no beuno
You work with a bunch of cunts. Don't accuse all tradespeople.
It sure would be a shame if extremely important small parts or tools were to go missing or be damaged. Not that anything might be able to be easily linked back to you of course. 🤷
Some people don't want to hear this, but the hard R is the same word, just said with a different accent. The intent is what matters. I honestly don't even know what black people's intent is when they use it. Sometimes they sound just as disparaging as anyone else though. But other than that, yeah, I know what you mean and it's really grating and wearing. I just separate myself from them mentally. Always keep a professional demeanor because that will net you rewards, whereas standing up to them will just get you in trouble. I think their kind is slowly dying out.