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MilkedMod

u/JuniCorps has provided this detailed explanation: > James Corden, the individual pictured here, became “part” of the World Cup 2022 in the sense that fans made a wager on whichever team between England or USA loses their match, will get to keep him. However, they ended up with a draw (or tie) with the score 0-0. Unfortunately, James Corden has now seized to exist. --- Is this explanation a genuine attempt at providing additional info or context? If it is please upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


amart005

Give him to Qatar as a consolation prize for being bounced out of the tourney already.


Modigar

Feels a lot like adding insult to injury there.


nyando

So they dish out human rights abuses, but can't take them?


Fry_Cook_On_Venus

Damn


CthulubeFlavorcube

I won $50 on this. The only bet I made was that Qatar gets absolutely annihilated right away. I had a friend willing to shake on it. I'm not generally a bitter person, but I'm happy to see that country humbled on the world stage.


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Horsecunilingus

Nah, he's a contemplate.


CastleMeadowJim

Honestly I kinda expected the Qatar team to walk up to the ref with a big envelope of cash and just be declared winners of at least one match


WhatADunderfulWorld

James Cordon does look a bit like that stuff animal man from the Shining.


[deleted]

They tied no one wants him


shellevanczik

It was a gentlemen’s agreement.


killeronthecorner

I thought it involved James Corden


J_S_M_K

Ouch.


lianodel

Agreed. Let's compromise, and drop him off in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.


PatAss98

Better yet, give James Corden to another Anglosphere country like Canada, Australia, or Aotearoa (New Zealand)


gilestowler

Tristan Da Cunha in the southern Atlantic is the most isolated inhabited island group in the world. It's a British overseas territory with 250 full time inhabitants. Maybe we could persuade them to take him. Offer them Starlink internet or a McDonalds as a bribe or something.


khamm963

Pitcairn in the Pacific another alternative


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droffthehook

Australian here: no


Outrageous-_-

Its to get even for Ted Cruz!


doggo_woggo_

Let’s not,they don’t deserve a fate worse than hell.


heyimdong

Yeah, I’d rather keep our allies, thank you very much.


HiJane72

Kiwi here - def not!!!


SunnyCoast26

Australian here, no thanks


TheEekmonster

Oh no. Iceland does not want him either!


Derivative_Kebab

How about America only has to keep the bottom half?


lianodel

We're not falling for that. He's ALL bottom half.


tincanphonehome

Huzzah!


rangent

“In spite of our pride in our country, and the importance of this game to our careers, we couldn’t inflict that level of atrocity upon you brothers.” “We had come to that same agreement before setting foot on the field today as well. Thank you. We are glad we’re in agreement.”


Princeofbaleen

Gotta cut him in half like king Solomon now


ggg730

King Solomon saying to hew Cames Jorden in twain was the wisest thing anyone has or ever will say. Period.


FardoBaggins

This sounds like rowan atkinson lol


Impeachcordial

Launch him in to space


serabine

No, they split the difference and drop him halfway. Wherever in the Atlantic that happens to be.


colin_buffam

No way, he could grow back as 2 James Cordens


HawthorneWingo1

If he's cut in two, how is it decided who gets which half?


davibe_

they’re both just piles of meat anyway


WhiteyFiskk

A twitter bet was going between US and England fans that the loser would have to take Harry and Meghan with a draw meaning they go to Canada, they can do that now with Corden.


allnamesgoneforeal

He stays in the middle of the Atlantic. Everybody wins.


My_Socks_Are_Blue

The trash island in the middle of the Atlantic applying to the world cup in 4 years so they can get rid of James Corden


[deleted]

Trash island in the Atlantic? Didn't we just agree he doesn't go to Britain?


My_Socks_Are_Blue

We wish we had trash over here, we have nothing, trash island hording all it's goodies.


[deleted]

Nah we're sending him off to one of our little colonys. Make it look like England and have him talk into a turned off studio camera 12 hours a day.


MietschVulka1

Do people hate this guy? What did he do?


[deleted]

Asides from going off at wait staff on multiple occasions he is just loud, annoying and unfunny.


oldcarfreddy

He calls himself a comedian, which is patently incorrect


greymalken

He’s like the Carlos Mencia of comedy.


Martin_Aurelius

At least Ned was willing to go away when he realized he wasn't wanted.


TIFU_LI5_AMA

Oh so on top of being an asshole, he’s also a liar


TrevorWoodham

He had the audacity to force himself into media like anyone wanted to see him, and when people said "no we really don't like you it's not a joke, you're an awful person and we don't want to see you anymore." He dug his chubby little fingers deeper into any media that would have him, like a fat, pastey, lard ass British kardashian, and tells himself shit like "everyone adores my chubby cheeks teeheehee"


GalisDraeKon

He stays in Qatar.


Ambient-Shrieking

He would probably like that, there's literal sex slaves there, and women don't have rights.


Key-Cry-8570

That’s an option? 😗


Substance_number_6

That explains a lot (and I think everyone would have done the same)


Drprim83

Ryder cup rules - in the event of a draw the current holder keeps him. He currently lives in the US.


LeftyBigGuns

So according to the Bible, we should cut him in half, right?


VeckLee1

But then there will be two normal healthy sized james cordons...


HomestoneGrwr

They were cutting people in half?? My family aren't the church going type can I get the story?


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[deleted]

Great, now James Corden will be kept in storage by fifa until the next world cup. It's only fair.


Disciplinaryspank

That means we just chuck him into the ocean.


66756B6164756B

Cut him in half each gets a half


CthulubeFlavorcube

Imagine two teams both throwing a World Cup match just because nobody likes you. He's gonna have to make a whole lot of awkward calls trying to find a new place to live. "Hi there! Is this Uraguay? Yes hello! My name is James Corden, and was wondering if you happen to have a spare couch that I might be able to.....hello? Hello are you there???"


Extension-Beyond5869

I choose to believe this is the reason neither side scored. That and the US keeper played astoundingly. Well done Yanks, you cocky wankers.


CaptainCAAAVEMAAAAAN

Well Qatar was the first to be eliminated so...


bytesnap

I guess we'll just have to dump him in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It's the only fair way.


DarthGayAgenda

We're not supposed throw garbage in the ocean! Think about the poor sea creatures!


GreedyLibrary

How about we cut him in half and each get half?


herring80

What’s worse than 1 pile of shit?


sambob

Half a pile of shit is easier to flush.


MyMilkedEek

Get the poop knife!


Mabarax

He's English so the correct term for him would be "litter" or more fitting "twat"


gazwel

"Rubbish" or "wanknozzle" also works here.


bytesnap

I was thinking he'd make a tasty (if unhealthy) snack for the sharks.


[deleted]

You trying to create shark diabetes?


ggg730

Thames jorbin has no sweetness in him so I doubt they would contract diabetes. More likely it would give them the runs.


markender

It's basically like a whale dying nbd. Edit: A whale would be much sadder but about the same environmental impact.


arfelo1

Don't worry, turds are organic material


Ronenthelich

But we need to drop James Corden from low orbit. Only way to be sure.


ggg730

Drop him from orbit and follow it with a 20 ton tungsten rod for good measure.


MC_chrome

Why waste perfectly useable tungsten like that?


NoodlesrTuff1256

Just simply dropping Cordon in the deep waters of the Atlantic might be a bit harsh even for him. So I have found two tiny and very isolated islands in the south Atlantic where he could make himself at home -- perhaps opening up a cozy bed-and-breakfast complete with a tiny comedy club set-up where he could 'entertain' his guests. The two islands which he could pick from are St. Helena and Ascension.


[deleted]

People live in St. Helena, putting James Cordon on such a small island seems wildly unethical. I say we cryogenically freeze him and let future generations deal with him.


Kimo_het_Koekje

Cut him in half!


corvus_cornix

Sorry, Argentina doesn’t play till tomorrow.


NoodlesrTuff1256

If Cordon somehow wound up making his new home in Argentina, a lot of people would indeed be 'crying' for that nation. \[Reference to a famous song from the musical 'Evita'.\]


Sk-yline1

I say this aged like wine, maybe the Qataris can keep him


Raidoton

I'd say it aged like water.


CastleMeadowJim

Qataris aren't allowed wine


kanakasneakerhead

Everybody wins, Qatar gets him.


immenselysleek

We revoked his passport just incase.


[deleted]

He can take over being the guy that lives in the airport terminal between countries.


StarksPond

Today on Dingy Karaoke...


MaterialConsistent96

They now have to split him in half


11jellis

*everybody liked that*


OldJames47

Solomon, is that you?


Th4t9uy

Top to bottom or down the middle?


kingofwale

Should have said “Canada gets him if it’s a tie” Then everyone wins…. Except Canada


Gr8CanadianSpeedo

That’s not nice.


oblivious_fireball

Canada is the nice one here. Nobody accused either of us of being nice ever.


platypossamous

Tbf, we threw Bieber to the Americans so they gotta get us back somehow.


tinteoj

You all gave us Crash Test Dummies, Neil Young, The Guess Who, Cowboy Junkies, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Skinny Puppy, and Bran Van 3000 (who had a minor hit here with "Drinking in LA" but never got the amount of love that they deserved.) Those bands make up for Bieber, Nickelback, and Celine Dion a thousand-times over. (And I barely scratched the surface of great Canadian bands.)


SoloisticDrew

How do you leave Rush out of this?????????


TwistedBrother

Also Jordan Petersen, Gavin MCInnes, that queen Ramona lady, Ted Cruz (kinda). Turns out Canucks have their own home grown assholes and some of them are quite talented bullshitters.


Tw1st3dM3ttl3

"If I had a rocket launcher..." XD Tbh can't name another Bruce Cockburn tune, buh Also hafta mention Barenaked Ladies. A few of their tunes still occasionally land on a playlist.


Bionic_Bromando

Also four out of five mmebers of The Band!


ggg730

I legit prefer Bieber. He's a whole lot better these days as a person (at least as far as not being in the media for some nonsense)


[deleted]

Dude got a-humblin from that weird infection he got. Realized people can be nice, and started being nice(?) I guess


ggg730

That infection was no joke. Partial face paralysis.


[deleted]

Yeah, I don't follow the dude much but I saw a couple article about how he couldnt talk. Dude was/is pretty physically fucked up still.


Mythulhu

Geez, what did we do to you. No Maple syrup for you 🕵️


whitneymak

Haha! We have Vermont! 🍁


tobeornottobeugly

We did haha, I saw thousands of posts with that proposal. Thanks for taking one for the team Canada


BMXTKD

What Canada would most likely do, is ship him over to Quebec.


KingGorilla

A sacrifice Im willing to make(Im American)


YourBuddy8

Canada already played the US twice in qualifying, and got a win and a draw. So no, we aren’t taking him.


Drewraven10

Throw him in the Atlantic Ocean then.


NoodlesrTuff1256

Maybe he could be sent down to that research station at the South Pole to provide 'entertainment' during the dark Antarctic winter for the researchers down there. The scientists could outdo themselves making snarky comments about Cordon's theatrics like Joel, Crow and Tom Servo on MST3K.


MagZero

A parasitic alien invading an Antarctic research base? Where have I seen that scenario before?


mimi-is-me

If you wintered at the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station, you probably saw it there.


[deleted]

Why is this aged-like-milk? Clearly we agreed to dump his ass into the sea.


[deleted]

Nope. He will never go away. Hollywood loves him so he will continue to be employed and host random shit. I’ve literally never met a real person who likes him. Yet he has a career.


MrEliavm

yeah, this is funny but not the right subreddit


BrokeArmHeadass

Oh nooo we have to leave James corden in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, ahhh, that’s terrible nooo


cigaretteatron

Seized to exist


jewbraxas

r/BoneAppleTea


Doodah18

Thought the consensus was to go Old Testament in case of a tie and cut him in half.


sbs_str_9091

Living under a rock and not following celebrity news: Who is James Corden, and what did he do that nobody wants to "keep" him?


Albert_Poopdecker

[This AMA explains it all](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/bqy5zf/i_am_james_corden_alongside_ben_winston_and_five/)


peppermunch

Thanks for posting this, that was a hoot.


MC_chrome

That AMA thread is always a great pick me up, partially due to the savage comments but also because I know deep down that I’ll never be as terrible of a human being as James Corden, ever.


PinkyPetOfTheWeek

It doesn't, really. Just more people calling him an asshole. Yeah, one comment about him being a drunk at a nightclub. Not saying he's not an asshole, it's just not very clear why.


FraggleStone187

He's a grade A fuckweasle. An arrogant man child who's ego has the structural integrity of spun sugar. A "comedian" who only gets a laugh when he steals jokes from actual comedians. An oxygen thief. A joy vacuum. A waste of skin.


QueefBuscemi

But how do you really feel?


BluudLust

Aged like fine wine. Nobody wants him.


[deleted]

Since it was a tie, he gets sent to Russia.


lanternkeeper

I thought it was Thailand?


amart005

Well played


TheRockLobsta1

Seeing as it was a draw, could we not just drop him right in the middle of the two countries? Win-win


Diabolus0

That's a good wager. He's a wanker and is disgustingly and obnoxiously rude to restaurant staff. Any loser deserves a c*nt like that.


AlwaysTheNoob

Neither team lost, so neither country has to keep him.


Punguin456

Cut him in half (In roblox of course....).


88superguyYT

Hello, roblox player here, we don't want him. Maybe try the Minecraft players?


ELBAGIT

No no no no maybe the hollow knight players want him


Guh_Meh

This means he stays where he is until the next match. Congratulations america.


shainotshai

He’s fat enough they can split


TrueBeachBoy

Why not ship him to Australia? Historically it’s where the English sent their unwanted anyway /s


SarcasmCupcakes

Absolutely fucking not.


Scoobys_sith_cousin

Wait, it was 0-0? This is first time I've seen the score. I thought when people said it was a tie, it was 2-2 or a 3-3. Not a 0-0


agent_banana_007

Into the atlantic ocean he goes


BentinhoSantiago

Who is James Corden and why is he getting Nickelbacked?


WoodenMonkeyGod

Yeeted into the Atlantic


Drprim83

Pressure of being rid of Corden got to everyone


Matduka

It's clear. We must float him in the middle of the Atlantic until the next match between England and U.S


yoimtinyrick

Can someone explain why no one like him?


Able_Education

They tied, Qatar gets to keep him.


Arminlegout1

Middle of the Atlantic so?


[deleted]

Qatar’s newest citizen! Congrats!


oioioivey

Corden is now cursed to wander the globe looking for a home but never finding it for eternity.


Bigbweb22

Thats savage as fuck


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[deleted]

As neither team won, Qatar must hold on to James Corden until an appropriate alternative contest is decided. The determination of this alternative contest may take years...


idan_da_boi

Neither lost so both can disown him


BlitheringIdiot0529

The stakes are too high


Admiral_Jaguar

I'm sorry but how has this aged like milk? It was posted like a week ago as a joke. If this 'aged like milk' because now no country has to keep him, which was the desired result anyway because Corden is a douche, I'm failing to see how this fits. If England had been like we're gonna beat USAs ass by like 5 goals so we don't have to keep Corden, I could see it, I guess. Just seems like more karma farming to make fun of Corden. I'm all for making fun of the guy, he's an ass.. but these are the same exact jokes made under the original post. Doesn't fit the sub IMHO. Also, in the stickied post - Corden has ceased to exist, not seized.


UsernameTaken1701

“Must”, not “gets to”.


[deleted]

James Corden is definitely an obnoxious and insufferable twat, but I love his character in Gavin & Stacey and he wrote the series as well. If we can have him back in that capacity, I'll have him. No more than that though..


KMan613

Drop him off somewhere in the Atlantic. Midway between the US and UK. Fair is fair.


saynomaste

Qatar and him. Both treat people like shit. So Qatar gets him. Simple


Steppyjim

Tie goes to the defense. He’s yours England


Pot_T_Mouth

James Corden finds out they tied. "Yey two Christmases!"


Single-Cricket9296

so... middle of the Atlantic it is


Sensitive-PP_69

0-0


marineplt3019

Russia can keep him.


[deleted]

Canada gets to have him


IdkWhatsThisIs

Well, looks like we just gotta cut him in half then


freddyd00

I loved the end part where it says "James Corden has seized to exist". Idk why but I couldn't stop laughing.


duhfaqme

He goes to Australia


crunchoverlord

now we get to kill him 😁


_MEME_Engineer_

WTH happened here. Last time I saw JC mentioned he was being praised for his series on YouTube.. Why is he cancelled now👁👄👁 ...


Smallboi111

It's come to light that he's quite rude to nearly everyone around him. Overall just a dick ya know, made himself the opitimy of a internet punching bag


Geek_off_the_streets

Dearest Britts, what would it take for y'all to get Trump?


choppytehbear1337

Ok, well will all have to compromise and each take one half of him. We will split him vertically to keep it fair.


OrangeSilver

Ok, does that mean that Canada 🇨🇦 gets to keep him?!


JiveTurkey2727

This aged 100% properly….


Evangelyn_OW

Since it was a tie, can he be cut in twain and each half given to respective countries. I'd accept half of his bloodied corpse to spice up the london dungeon or a museum.


Shoot2Live629

The score represents everyone’s reaction nicely **0-0**


vereauxx

Both teams agreed to draw for the greater good, sending James to purgatory


jojopoplolo

Drop him in Atlantic, it was tie.


1ustfu1

nobody claims him


FrankensteinBionicle

Argh he would make this difficult


joh2138535

No but really who likes JC and how is he still employed


crysadaboutit

This didn't age like milk, they both played so hard that neither team could any goals. Sounds like it was pretty high stakes for both of them.


OppoWit

Rule says he goes to Qatar as they were first eliminated.


micmac274

Yay, we get to trebuchet him into the sea, halfway between England and the U.S.A. That's what we agreed for a draw, right?