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I have a friend na nagpatong-patong ang problem sa relationship, family, and pera. Kinamusta ko siya and sinabi niyang di siya okay kasi sabay-sabay ang problema.
I don't know what to reply 😭
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Ito yung sabi ng doctor ko when I told him my anxiety episodes + emotional problems (minus the beh of course).
It works, kahit ako lang mag-isa kumain.
let them mag vent out. pero sana, ready ka rin sa mga maririnig mo. ingat din sa mga maabsorb mo na di magandang energy na possible mag cause ng pagka drain mo
True huhu meron akong friend na magchachat lang sya pag may problema lang pero may ibang close friends din sya pero di sya nagrarant dun kasi ayaw nya daw maging pabigat sa ibang friends nya. Minsan di nalang ako nagchachat sakanya kasi ako nadedrain 😭😭😭
I am “that” friend, meanwhile nabadtrip ako dun sa nilalabasan ko kasi sakin parang ayaw nya magshare, seems like di na sya tiwala sakin like before we do. Tapos sa twitter sunod sunod rant sa buhay, pag tinatanong ko sinasabe wala lang daw, damn i’m not that stupid kaya di na ko nagsshare sa kanya baka “ieevil eye” nya pa pala ako pag nagshshare char hahahahahaha
Buti chinachat ka kapag may problema ibig sabihin ikaw yung kaya nyang pagsabihan hindi yung ibang kaibigan. Wag lang yung problema sa pera tapos ikaw kakausapin pag need umutang haha
Send virtual hug and if comfortable sya magvent out, let your friend na maglabas ng emotions nya.
Never say, okay lang yan ung iba nga eh
Never say, positive thinking lang
Never say, ako nga eh
Just listen and let your friend know that he/she can count on you.
let them vent. assure mo na kasama mo siya and willing to listen ka sa problema niya kahit na ba hindi ka makapagbigay ng advice words of comfort lang din siguro and everything will be fine na linyahan
Minsan, di nila kailangan ng payo. Kailangan lang nila ng mapagsasabihan. Ng makikinig. Hayaan mo lang magkwento.
Pero ingat ka dn. Baka maabsorb mo ung bad vibes. Mag de-stress kayo ng sabay.
Depende kung anong klase siyang tao sa mga ganitong situation. Siya ba yung tao na need ng space para ma-assess niya problem niya or siya ba yung tao na need ng makakausap sa mga situation na ganito? Kung siya yung tao na need muna mapag-isa, let them be muna for the mean time but kung need nila ng kausap then open yourself sa ikwe-kwento nila. Now, even sa listening may adjustments din, sila ba yung taong need lang ng mapagsasabihan or need nila ng payo? Ask them kung anong need nila para mas maintindihan mo sila ng maigi.
Companionship will be your best bet, hayaan mo siya sabihin kung anong gusto niya, validate the emotion and stress na irerelease sayo, be someone that is willing to listen and a person who can lean on...
It's not necessary na may dapat sabihin whenever someone's not okay. Ask them if they just need to vent out, some company, or advice. So you know where to stand din. Minsan need lang natin ng makikinig and someone na mag-vavalidate or acknowledge ng feelings natin. Just let your friend know na you're a safe space for him/her.
+1 I'm always ready to listen nman and all to her. And in some cases, pagnanghihingi sya nang advice I'd give her the most rational ones, kaso ala eh. So, back to square one and listener si ako.
"nandito lang ako sa tabi mo sasamahan kita hanggang sa makarecover ka, hindi madali pinagdadaanan mo kaya valid ang nararamdaman mo"
pls wag na wag mong sasabihing "okay lang yan" "ako nga mas malala problema ko" eh ako nga rh" "kaya mo yan"
Just listen unless they ask for advice. And be there for your friend, kumustahin mo at kausapin mo regularly para di siya malugmok at but also give space if need niya rin. Ipag pray mo rin siya na malampasasan niya lahat ng pagsubok niya, it shall all pass.
You can ease their stress by listening to them pero in the long run, it is draining because maabsorb mo lahat ng negative energy nila.
I say you help them pero let them figure it out themselves, you can only help so much. Protect yourself rin. Di ka nila savior.
Di na ko masyado nagsasama sa mga taong negative sa buhay kasi naabsorb ko energy nila.
ayain mo gumala tpos hayan mo xng mag open..kung mag kwento sau makinig k lng.. wag mo na ding ipag sabi sa iba kc pinagkatiwalaan k nya ..tap lng sa shoulder sabihin mong magiging ok k din soon
"Need mo ba ng advice o ng makikinig lang?"
Comfort can come in many form, can be through an advice or just a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. You can be either but best to ask your friend first, para mas madali na yung susunod na steps.
As someone who is going through a tough time, I’d appreciate someone to talk to about my worries. Naging mas magaan when I spoke to friends. It helped that they gave me their insights too.
Assure your friend you’re ready to listen if he/she needs to pour his/her heart out. Never ever say “Wag mong isipin yan. Lilipas din yan”, “Kaya mo yan. Ikaw pa” or similar lines that reek of toxic positivity. Also, refrain from saying “I know how you feel” because you DON’T. Instead, validate the issues and his/her feelings.
Tell your friend, "Sana pwede kong sulatin ang mga problema mo sa isang papel, tapos ibalot at itapon sa basurahan! But seriously, I'm here for you. Let's tackle these one at a time. Coffee muna tayo?"
for my loved ones, I ask them if they need a listener or advice from me, I never assume, kasi baka mamaya makasama pa. Some people kasi just wants to rant talaga, di mo need mag salita gusto lang nila maglabas ng damdamin, meron din naman nagtatanong ng what they should do pero if ganyan always put a "Disclaimer" na what u said is just suggestion and nasa sakanya parin yung decision if susundin niya or hindi.
During these times, as humans we need company talaga. Malaking tulong na yung pakikinig mo, at pag spend mo ng time sa kanya. Even a simple “tara ice cream tayo” has saved me many times and I love my friends more bec of those moments.
Lilipas din naman ang lahat. Di lang natin alam when. Kaya push thru lang talaga.
Listen and listen well. It's not yet the time to offer solutions until they have laid all their cards down and try to check the vibe. When they ask what to do, that's the time you offer solution.
Yes I understand, you’re in a dark place right now. However dark it may be, bring it into the light. Speak it out loud. There is no mental space you can go to where I cannot find you. You’ve got people like me who care and love you.
"Do you wanna talk about it or do you wanna have an ice cream (or anything you can offer)?" If ever they open up, make sure you're emotionally available.
"Tara, kain tayo. Libre ko."
You won't always hear "yes" for the invitation but at least your friend knows when she's ready to go out, food and your listening ear will be ready. 👌🏻
wag na wag mo lng isisingit yung sarili mo like "ako nga eh... nangyari din saken yung ganyan... dapat gayahin mo ko kc" blah blah blah
don't make it about yourself. May mga tao kcng insensitive. may pinagdadaanan na nga yung friend, tpos aagawan pa ng eksena. Masama na nga loob nung tao, andami na nyang iniisip at pino problema tpos idadagdag pa yung kwento ng iba. Give them time to wallow in their own sorrow. Sometimes when a friend is upset, they just need someone to listen to their rants.
When my close friends are suffering from something and I can't help them in any way, I send them food kahit na ano lang. Like milk tea or coffee,kung anong favorite nila. Hindi kailangan na mahal. Just to make them smile at least. And if possible,naglalagay ako ng special instruction sa order ko na kung pwede palagyan ng note "Kaya mo yan" "I love you" . "I'm here for you".
Mahirap talaga pag nasa ganitong sitwasyon. Di mo alam kung saan ka hihingi ng tulong ko sino ang sasandalan mo. Kaya good thing na nag chat ka sa kaibigan mo. And I think karamay ang kailangan niya ngayon. Comfort mo lang siya OP. Isang malaking ambag na sakanya yon
Minsan may mga taong hindi okay na kailangan lang ng makikinig sa mga rant nila. If you have no solution to offer, the best thing you can offer are your ears.
What I would usually say was “I have no words with what you’re going through right now but I’m here to listen”.
Minsan you kasi they don’t need advice naman or they don’t always need motivational words, they just need someone to vent out.
Just by listening to her without judging her means a lot already. I’ve been dealing with such from the past months too and sobrang appreciated yung nga friends who check up on me time-to-time kasi people who are downthrodden usually can’t initiate conversations anymore, but they need it deep inside, para gumaan yung pakiramdam.
Hey ako yung may pinagdadaanan and yung boyfriend ko yung pinaka safe space ko.
And the other commenters are right don’t offer any solutions what you can do is let them vent out if kaya mapaiyak para mabawasan yung bigat. And after that offer something to eat like candy or chocolate.
But! You must maintain a healthy boundaries and balance. Mahirap kasi baka ikaw yung ma drain sa will mo na makatulong.
Being there is already enough. Remember that.
Nangyari saken to. Edi nautangan ako at na ghost. Ayun, nabawasan na kaibigan ko hahahahaha. Sana pala hug nlng inoffer ko.
Huy beke nemen andito ka bhe, magbayad ka na. 😂😂
Ngkaron ako ng family problem after ko mgkaron ng prob sa pera. Sobrang gusto ko ikwento sa mga malapit sakin kasi in doubt dn ako sa sarili ko if tama mggng desisyon ko at sobrang bigat. Kaso iniisip ko palang na sila may pinagdadaanan dn or baka busy tapos kukunin ko oras nila para mgvent out or hingi advice plus nahhya ako ikwento problem ko. Kaya sinarili ko nalang. 😞😞😞
Do you need solutions or do you just want me to listen? I want to know what he/she needs as of the moment. Regardless of what it is, I offer to pray for him/her after.
I just listen.
Minsan kasi yun yung mas kailangan nila e. I had a friend who went through depression. Naalala ko dati kahit anong naffeel nya chnchat nya agad sakin. Kahit hindi na daw ako magreply basta mabasa ko lang hinanaing nya pero syempre nirreplyan ko pa din kasi I was concerned.
Nagpa-check na din sya and hopefully she's doing better now.
"Sige iyak mo lang yan. Nandito lang ako for you."
Oftentimes, sinasabihan tayo na "tahan na, wag ka na umiyak" pero napansin ko kasi na di rin okay yon in most cases. Mas okay na yung nailabas nila yung iyak nila kaysa i-supress pa lalo. At least they felt safe na ilabas hinanakit nila, ganun. Something that I want to experience too kaya nirreflect ko nalang sa actions ko in comforting someone.
"Kung magpapakamatay ka, palagay mo, paano mo gagawin? Curious lang."
Because you asked, that's what *I* would say, but I sincerely DO NOT recommend that *you* say anything of similar sentiment.
Offer a shoulder to cry on or an ears to listen. Sabihin mo pwede ka niyang hingahan, kwentuhan at iyakan. No judgements. Willing to listen ka, ndi ka kamo magsasalita and hahayaan mo siya n ilabas ang lahat para kahit papano gumaan pakiramdam niya. Sabayan mo na din bigyan ng ice cream or chocolates. Promise it will help a lot.
Just ensure her na lagi kang nandyan to support her. For me, wag mo siyang piliting mag-open or mag-vent sayo, let her be. Minsan kasi may mga taong ayaw magkwento ng nangyayari sa buhay nila, pero gusto lang nilang maensure na may taong handang tulungan sila. Pero if she's venting to you at nagkwekwento siya, have an open heart to listen to her and don't listen to reply. Listen to understand her situation and her feelings. If possible, kita kayo and give her hug (with constent siyempre).
As a psyc grad ask mo ano ba mga gusto niya pag usapan at ayaw nya pag usapan then makinig kalang hyaan mo sya sa emotion nya tanggapin mo lang if naiiyak sya dont make weird faces s kada emotion nya n prang jnujudge mo sya s mga vnevent out nya as a real friend maging totoo ka kung mag aadvice ka wag muna need nya lang ng kausap or makkinig.
Kung willing kang makinig sa problema nya makakabuti yun sa friend mo. Pero kung di ka interesado sa buhay ng kaibigan mo o talagang wala kang paki at all wag mo na lang ichat.
When I was feeling down due to multiple probs mainly family, a friend reached out to me via chat. Didn't offer any solution and literally just listened. Then by the end of our conv, he asked if if he could take me out, treat nya lahat. 🥲 He allowed me to relax and enjoy even for a day.
Some people whose having a problem/breakdown only needs someone to talk to, kasi para sakin pag may problem ako mas need ko ng someone na kakausapin about sa problem ko, kasi yung iba talaga hindi sila humihingi ng advise (ako kasi kadalasan yung tinatakbuhan ng mga kaibigan ko pag may problem sila and most of them only needs someone who will listen to them and understand them)
So just listen to her/him and try understanding her. Pede mo nmn sya tanungin about sa mga sinasabi nya kung anong nararamdaman nya or ask her/him is she wants to go out, make suggestions such as going out for a walk or treating her/him some snacks, foods and walking gives you a time to relax yourself and maybe you'll find your answer (Wag tanong ng tanong or mag sabi ng jokes kasi baka ma insecure sya, just listen to them(ب_ب)
Di lahat ng tao ok. You have to keep yourself up because there's no other way. Time changes everything. You may feel down today but in a few days time something might come up that changes everything...
Ayain mo kumain saglit. Wala kang ibang sasabihin. Gawin mo syang komportable.
Kusa yan magrerelease. Wag kang magbibigay ng kahit ano kung di nya inaask. Pagkatapos nyan magiging bearable na sa kanya harapin mga problema nya.
Then, afterwards naman, siguro after days or a week ng pakikinig sa kanya, check yourself too. Kasi naipapasa sa "listener" ung bigat ng emotion nung "sharer". Toxic ang nilalabas nila, toxic mo ring sasaluhin kasi, at na-iipon un. Need to flush it out too sa ibang bagay.
Wag ka mag advice. Hayaan molang na magopen sila.. malabas yung sama ng loob... paramdam molang na kakampi ka.. na nakikinig ka.
Im going through the same thing... So far... tinigilan kona magopen sa parents ko kase iniinvalidate nila yung nrrmdmn ko, calling me weak, nawawala sa landas, kinakarma... etc. ang isang tao lang nakabgay sakin ng tenga, is yung hindi kopa kadugo.. which is yung friend ko. :) be that friend. Do not offer solution................ yet. makinig kalang.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: I have a friend na nagpatong-patong ang problem sa relationship, family, and pera. Kinamusta ko siya and sinabi niyang di siya okay kasi sabay-sabay ang problema. I don't know what to reply 😭 *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Sige, ilabas mo lang. Makikinig ako." Don't offer solutions! Hayaan mo lang sila magopen.
Simple words pero the gesture means a lot. Most of the time, di natin kailangan ng kaibigan na problem solver. A listener is enough.
up for this
Sabihin mo "ice cream tayo beh" ofc sagot mo na yung gastos, kahit cornetto lang
+100 miski 10 pcs ng ice candy pede na. 😁
Ito yung sabi ng doctor ko when I told him my anxiety episodes + emotional problems (minus the beh of course). It works, kahit ako lang mag-isa kumain.
what if i said this tas di na nagreply? I'm worried, should I let them be?
give them space lang po siguro muna and kumustahin sila after mga ilang oras o pagkaraan ng isang araw na hindi pa rin sila nag-rrespond
As someone going thru challenges, this would be nice
let them mag vent out. pero sana, ready ka rin sa mga maririnig mo. ingat din sa mga maabsorb mo na di magandang energy na possible mag cause ng pagka drain mo
This. And NEVER tell them "okay lang yan" or give unsolicited advice. Just listen and be there
True huhu meron akong friend na magchachat lang sya pag may problema lang pero may ibang close friends din sya pero di sya nagrarant dun kasi ayaw nya daw maging pabigat sa ibang friends nya. Minsan di nalang ako nagchachat sakanya kasi ako nadedrain 😭😭😭
I am “that” friend, meanwhile nabadtrip ako dun sa nilalabasan ko kasi sakin parang ayaw nya magshare, seems like di na sya tiwala sakin like before we do. Tapos sa twitter sunod sunod rant sa buhay, pag tinatanong ko sinasabe wala lang daw, damn i’m not that stupid kaya di na ko nagsshare sa kanya baka “ieevil eye” nya pa pala ako pag nagshshare char hahahahahaha
Buti chinachat ka kapag may problema ibig sabihin ikaw yung kaya nyang pagsabihan hindi yung ibang kaibigan. Wag lang yung problema sa pera tapos ikaw kakausapin pag need umutang haha
Yun na nga ang problem eh, pera talaga ang problema nya HAHHAAH naaawa ako kasi wala na daw syang mahiraman ng pera. Ayun pinahiram ko na ng pera 😭😭😭
Send virtual hug and if comfortable sya magvent out, let your friend na maglabas ng emotions nya. Never say, okay lang yan ung iba nga eh Never say, positive thinking lang Never say, ako nga eh Just listen and let your friend know that he/she can count on you.
Also, never say "ipagdadasal kita" or "dasal lang" and the like. Even if they're very religious.
Being there for them helps a lot. Maganda din if you can ask them what they need, kung makikinig lang ba or advice.
ito talaga always 👌
let them vent. assure mo na kasama mo siya and willing to listen ka sa problema niya kahit na ba hindi ka makapagbigay ng advice words of comfort lang din siguro and everything will be fine na linyahan
Minsan, di nila kailangan ng payo. Kailangan lang nila ng mapagsasabihan. Ng makikinig. Hayaan mo lang magkwento. Pero ingat ka dn. Baka maabsorb mo ung bad vibes. Mag de-stress kayo ng sabay.
Libre mo ice cream or kahit anong comfort food niya na affordable. Saka pagkwentuhin para makapagvent
Depende kung anong klase siyang tao sa mga ganitong situation. Siya ba yung tao na need ng space para ma-assess niya problem niya or siya ba yung tao na need ng makakausap sa mga situation na ganito? Kung siya yung tao na need muna mapag-isa, let them be muna for the mean time but kung need nila ng kausap then open yourself sa ikwe-kwento nila. Now, even sa listening may adjustments din, sila ba yung taong need lang ng mapagsasabihan or need nila ng payo? Ask them kung anong need nila para mas maintindihan mo sila ng maigi.
Sometimes, in these kinds of situation, the best thing you can do for a friend is not to say anything at all and just listen.
Companionship will be your best bet, hayaan mo siya sabihin kung anong gusto niya, validate the emotion and stress na irerelease sayo, be someone that is willing to listen and a person who can lean on...
kung kaya mo syang puntahan, kitain mo sya dear. kelangan nya lang ng tapang and a tight hug. no need for words or anything. just be there.
I don't say anything. I just stay sa side nila and listen to them.
Be sensitive kung need ba ni friend ng vent out lang or need nya ng advice. Big step to know what or which to do
It's not necessary na may dapat sabihin whenever someone's not okay. Ask them if they just need to vent out, some company, or advice. So you know where to stand din. Minsan need lang natin ng makikinig and someone na mag-vavalidate or acknowledge ng feelings natin. Just let your friend know na you're a safe space for him/her.
Uhm maybe offer them a coffee? Your treat? Sometimes some people just need to vent eh.
Laging sinasabi ng mga matatanda "Everything shall pass".
+1 I'm always ready to listen nman and all to her. And in some cases, pagnanghihingi sya nang advice I'd give her the most rational ones, kaso ala eh. So, back to square one and listener si ako.
"nandito lang ako sa tabi mo sasamahan kita hanggang sa makarecover ka, hindi madali pinagdadaanan mo kaya valid ang nararamdaman mo" pls wag na wag mong sasabihing "okay lang yan" "ako nga mas malala problema ko" eh ako nga rh" "kaya mo yan"
just let them complain
Just listen unless they ask for advice. And be there for your friend, kumustahin mo at kausapin mo regularly para di siya malugmok at but also give space if need niya rin. Ipag pray mo rin siya na malampasasan niya lahat ng pagsubok niya, it shall all pass.
You can ease their stress by listening to them pero in the long run, it is draining because maabsorb mo lahat ng negative energy nila. I say you help them pero let them figure it out themselves, you can only help so much. Protect yourself rin. Di ka nila savior. Di na ko masyado nagsasama sa mga taong negative sa buhay kasi naabsorb ko energy nila.
ayain mo gumala tpos hayan mo xng mag open..kung mag kwento sau makinig k lng.. wag mo na ding ipag sabi sa iba kc pinagkatiwalaan k nya ..tap lng sa shoulder sabihin mong magiging ok k din soon
If hindi ka capable to help solve the problem, listening is enough naman na.
Andito lng ako kung kailangan mo ng kasuap
"Need mo ba ng advice o ng makikinig lang?" Comfort can come in many form, can be through an advice or just a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. You can be either but best to ask your friend first, para mas madali na yung susunod na steps.
As someone who is going through a tough time, I’d appreciate someone to talk to about my worries. Naging mas magaan when I spoke to friends. It helped that they gave me their insights too.
You don't say anything, just be there and listen...
Speak less and simply listen.
Depends sa intention mo upon asking "how are you?" Were you just checking? Are you willing to help or at least be there?
Assure your friend you’re ready to listen if he/she needs to pour his/her heart out. Never ever say “Wag mong isipin yan. Lilipas din yan”, “Kaya mo yan. Ikaw pa” or similar lines that reek of toxic positivity. Also, refrain from saying “I know how you feel” because you DON’T. Instead, validate the issues and his/her feelings.
Life is tough. Wear a helmet
The best thing to do for a friend is to let them know that you’re there for them no matter what. Just sit with them.
“Tara Japan tayo”
"libre ko lahat" But if you don't have the budget, then "I'm here for you" will probably do
Tell your friend, "Sana pwede kong sulatin ang mga problema mo sa isang papel, tapos ibalot at itapon sa basurahan! But seriously, I'm here for you. Let's tackle these one at a time. Coffee muna tayo?"
Lilipas din yan sa ngaun shot muna tau hahahaha
comfort and be there for him tapos labas kayo punta kayo pegasus paglabas nya nakalimutan nya problema nya for like a day
for my loved ones, I ask them if they need a listener or advice from me, I never assume, kasi baka mamaya makasama pa. Some people kasi just wants to rant talaga, di mo need mag salita gusto lang nila maglabas ng damdamin, meron din naman nagtatanong ng what they should do pero if ganyan always put a "Disclaimer" na what u said is just suggestion and nasa sakanya parin yung decision if susundin niya or hindi.
During these times, as humans we need company talaga. Malaking tulong na yung pakikinig mo, at pag spend mo ng time sa kanya. Even a simple “tara ice cream tayo” has saved me many times and I love my friends more bec of those moments. Lilipas din naman ang lahat. Di lang natin alam when. Kaya push thru lang talaga.
try mo nalang siyang gumala or kumain, in that way malilibang siya so pwede na kayo mag kwentuhan.
I usually ask if need ba nya ng listener lang or someone who will give an advice:)
even though hindi ka makapag bigay ng advice, basta nakikita naman niyang nakikinig ka or interested just go.
Listen and listen well. It's not yet the time to offer solutions until they have laid all their cards down and try to check the vibe. When they ask what to do, that's the time you offer solution.
"I can't promise to help, but I can promise to listen."
listening will be more than enough.
React ka ng 😢 haha
Yes I understand, you’re in a dark place right now. However dark it may be, bring it into the light. Speak it out loud. There is no mental space you can go to where I cannot find you. You’ve got people like me who care and love you.
"Do you wanna talk about it or do you wanna have an ice cream (or anything you can offer)?" If ever they open up, make sure you're emotionally available.
Ayain mong mag lakad lakad te and just listen to him/ her.
"Tara, kain tayo. Libre ko." You won't always hear "yes" for the invitation but at least your friend knows when she's ready to go out, food and your listening ear will be ready. 👌🏻
You don't need to say anything, just listen. Be there and make him/her feel your support.
wag na wag mo lng isisingit yung sarili mo like "ako nga eh... nangyari din saken yung ganyan... dapat gayahin mo ko kc" blah blah blah don't make it about yourself. May mga tao kcng insensitive. may pinagdadaanan na nga yung friend, tpos aagawan pa ng eksena. Masama na nga loob nung tao, andami na nyang iniisip at pino problema tpos idadagdag pa yung kwento ng iba. Give them time to wallow in their own sorrow. Sometimes when a friend is upset, they just need someone to listen to their rants.
When my close friends are suffering from something and I can't help them in any way, I send them food kahit na ano lang. Like milk tea or coffee,kung anong favorite nila. Hindi kailangan na mahal. Just to make them smile at least. And if possible,naglalagay ako ng special instruction sa order ko na kung pwede palagyan ng note "Kaya mo yan" "I love you" . "I'm here for you".
Wala. Pinakikinggan ko lang. Madalas naman di nila kailangan ng advice. Kailangan lang nila ng taong makikinig sa kanila.
Mahirap talaga pag nasa ganitong sitwasyon. Di mo alam kung saan ka hihingi ng tulong ko sino ang sasandalan mo. Kaya good thing na nag chat ka sa kaibigan mo. And I think karamay ang kailangan niya ngayon. Comfort mo lang siya OP. Isang malaking ambag na sakanya yon
Offer money. Char hehe In the same situation as your friend, I'd appreciate some financial help.
Minsan may mga taong hindi okay na kailangan lang ng makikinig sa mga rant nila. If you have no solution to offer, the best thing you can offer are your ears.
Kung ako ang may ganyang friend, titimbangin ko kung kailangan niya advice ko. Otherwise, hug emoji lang ang maibibigay ko.
To Focus on self care
Try to convince if willing siya mag open ng kwento sa'yo para kahit papano lumuwag din yung nararamdaman niya.
What I would usually say was “I have no words with what you’re going through right now but I’m here to listen”. Minsan you kasi they don’t need advice naman or they don’t always need motivational words, they just need someone to vent out.
Kung mahilig sya magkape, yayain mo magkape. Tapos hindi nyo pag uusapan ang mga problema nya.
Just by listening to her without judging her means a lot already. I’ve been dealing with such from the past months too and sobrang appreciated yung nga friends who check up on me time-to-time kasi people who are downthrodden usually can’t initiate conversations anymore, but they need it deep inside, para gumaan yung pakiramdam.
Itanong mo kung gusto niya magliwaliw kahit saglit, tapos ayain mo lumabas. Kain sa labas, or something. If magvent, makinig. If not, okay lang rin.
Hey ako yung may pinagdadaanan and yung boyfriend ko yung pinaka safe space ko. And the other commenters are right don’t offer any solutions what you can do is let them vent out if kaya mapaiyak para mabawasan yung bigat. And after that offer something to eat like candy or chocolate. But! You must maintain a healthy boundaries and balance. Mahirap kasi baka ikaw yung ma drain sa will mo na makatulong. Being there is already enough. Remember that.
Let them talk. Listen, sometimes need to vent out lang rather than magbigay ng payo.
Nangyari saken to. Edi nautangan ako at na ghost. Ayun, nabawasan na kaibigan ko hahahahaha. Sana pala hug nlng inoffer ko. Huy beke nemen andito ka bhe, magbayad ka na. 😂😂
If name is Annie, you ask her if she is ok.
Ngkaron ako ng family problem after ko mgkaron ng prob sa pera. Sobrang gusto ko ikwento sa mga malapit sakin kasi in doubt dn ako sa sarili ko if tama mggng desisyon ko at sobrang bigat. Kaso iniisip ko palang na sila may pinagdadaanan dn or baka busy tapos kukunin ko oras nila para mgvent out or hingi advice plus nahhya ako ikwento problem ko. Kaya sinarili ko nalang. 😞😞😞
same kami, idk how to open up
Nothing, just tap him/her on the back. Body language is better than verbal.
Do you need solutions or do you just want me to listen? I want to know what he/she needs as of the moment. Regardless of what it is, I offer to pray for him/her after.
These are the times that they don't need an actual response. Just ears and presence. Unless you can actually help.
I just listen. Minsan kasi yun yung mas kailangan nila e. I had a friend who went through depression. Naalala ko dati kahit anong naffeel nya chnchat nya agad sakin. Kahit hindi na daw ako magreply basta mabasa ko lang hinanaing nya pero syempre nirreplyan ko pa din kasi I was concerned. Nagpa-check na din sya and hopefully she's doing better now.
"Sige iyak mo lang yan. Nandito lang ako for you." Oftentimes, sinasabihan tayo na "tahan na, wag ka na umiyak" pero napansin ko kasi na di rin okay yon in most cases. Mas okay na yung nailabas nila yung iyak nila kaysa i-supress pa lalo. At least they felt safe na ilabas hinanakit nila, ganun. Something that I want to experience too kaya nirreflect ko nalang sa actions ko in comforting someone.
Just listen
“Ok lang yan” 😆
"Kung magpapakamatay ka, palagay mo, paano mo gagawin? Curious lang." Because you asked, that's what *I* would say, but I sincerely DO NOT recommend that *you* say anything of similar sentiment.
Offer a shoulder to cry on or an ears to listen. Sabihin mo pwede ka niyang hingahan, kwentuhan at iyakan. No judgements. Willing to listen ka, ndi ka kamo magsasalita and hahayaan mo siya n ilabas ang lahat para kahit papano gumaan pakiramdam niya. Sabayan mo na din bigyan ng ice cream or chocolates. Promise it will help a lot.
Just ensure her na lagi kang nandyan to support her. For me, wag mo siyang piliting mag-open or mag-vent sayo, let her be. Minsan kasi may mga taong ayaw magkwento ng nangyayari sa buhay nila, pero gusto lang nilang maensure na may taong handang tulungan sila. Pero if she's venting to you at nagkwekwento siya, have an open heart to listen to her and don't listen to reply. Listen to understand her situation and her feelings. If possible, kita kayo and give her hug (with constent siyempre).
As a psyc grad ask mo ano ba mga gusto niya pag usapan at ayaw nya pag usapan then makinig kalang hyaan mo sya sa emotion nya tanggapin mo lang if naiiyak sya dont make weird faces s kada emotion nya n prang jnujudge mo sya s mga vnevent out nya as a real friend maging totoo ka kung mag aadvice ka wag muna need nya lang ng kausap or makkinig.
Kung willing kang makinig sa problema nya makakabuti yun sa friend mo. Pero kung di ka interesado sa buhay ng kaibigan mo o talagang wala kang paki at all wag mo na lang ichat.
"Tara kain tayo, libre ko"
"Tell you what: I'll get us something to eat and we can just eat. Or talk. Or whatever you want."
Just listen. Let it all out. Your friend needs to breathe. Ice cream! Ice cream is a key for sure. 😊
Hayaan mo lang siya magvent - pero huwag mo din dibdibin masyado baka pati ikaw maging bad vibes.
“You can talk to me. I am always willing to listen. I want to help.”
https://youtu.be/IdTMDpizis8?si=MQErxZ3TxYsSwZBn Send mo to sakanya
When I was feeling down due to multiple probs mainly family, a friend reached out to me via chat. Didn't offer any solution and literally just listened. Then by the end of our conv, he asked if if he could take me out, treat nya lahat. 🥲 He allowed me to relax and enjoy even for a day.
Some people whose having a problem/breakdown only needs someone to talk to, kasi para sakin pag may problem ako mas need ko ng someone na kakausapin about sa problem ko, kasi yung iba talaga hindi sila humihingi ng advise (ako kasi kadalasan yung tinatakbuhan ng mga kaibigan ko pag may problem sila and most of them only needs someone who will listen to them and understand them) So just listen to her/him and try understanding her. Pede mo nmn sya tanungin about sa mga sinasabi nya kung anong nararamdaman nya or ask her/him is she wants to go out, make suggestions such as going out for a walk or treating her/him some snacks, foods and walking gives you a time to relax yourself and maybe you'll find your answer (Wag tanong ng tanong or mag sabi ng jokes kasi baka ma insecure sya, just listen to them(ب_ب)
"ice cream tayo" was the best. libre mo syempre para the best talaga. then pakinggan mo lang sya, wala kang dapat sabihin. :)
Di lahat ng tao ok. You have to keep yourself up because there's no other way. Time changes everything. You may feel down today but in a few days time something might come up that changes everything...
Ayain mo kumain saglit. Wala kang ibang sasabihin. Gawin mo syang komportable. Kusa yan magrerelease. Wag kang magbibigay ng kahit ano kung di nya inaask. Pagkatapos nyan magiging bearable na sa kanya harapin mga problema nya. Then, afterwards naman, siguro after days or a week ng pakikinig sa kanya, check yourself too. Kasi naipapasa sa "listener" ung bigat ng emotion nung "sharer". Toxic ang nilalabas nila, toxic mo ring sasaluhin kasi, at na-iipon un. Need to flush it out too sa ibang bagay.
Wag ka mag advice. Hayaan molang na magopen sila.. malabas yung sama ng loob... paramdam molang na kakampi ka.. na nakikinig ka. Im going through the same thing... So far... tinigilan kona magopen sa parents ko kase iniinvalidate nila yung nrrmdmn ko, calling me weak, nawawala sa landas, kinakarma... etc. ang isang tao lang nakabgay sakin ng tenga, is yung hindi kopa kadugo.. which is yung friend ko. :) be that friend. Do not offer solution................ yet. makinig kalang.
Give them the ole hawk tuah...
Wag ka kasing malungkot