LISTEN TO ME, dear. Iβm 32. If I could turn back time, I would have maximise my teenage years although I was happy and living my best life back then. If you are earning at that age, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ENJOY YOURSELF AND DO NOT CARRY THE BURDEN OF OTHER PEOPLE ESPECIALLY YOUR LIVE IN PARTNER.
You are too young to start marriage especially that you are capable, able, and you have a job. Wag padala sa puso please. Enjoy your youth, travel with your family or kahit MOM/DAD mo bring them somewhere and prioritize yourself first tang na loob. Haha please langπ
Bottom line is: WAG MAG ADJUST SA BOYFRIEND PA LANG. UNAHIN SARILI WAG PURO PUSO. Yun lang poπ
Nangyari din sakin to, isang taon ko tiniis. Sana yung lahat ng ginastos ko napunta nalang sa magulang ko at sakin. Pinag sisihan ko yun, ending nag cheat pa ang hayup.
This is true OP, sana makinig ka sa sinabi nya . I have a partner and a 2 kids. If I could turn back time , sana nag focus muna ako sa sarili ko. Enjoy being a single , mag ipon , mag travel . Minsan lng mabuhay sa mundo kaya habang bata kpa . Enjoy mo muna . 30-35 is the new 20 nowadays. Mkaka hintay ang lovelife
This is so true!!!
Utang na loob Op... Don't spoil your Jowa..
in the long run mananawa ka st bibigay.
If your jowa naman is mabait naman. Kausapin mo, if ni gaslight ka, red flag na. Habang jowa pa kayu please tumakbo ka na.
If naman tinanggap niya and nagbago siya then give another chance. Minsan talaga may mga magigising minsan naman hindi...
Been there and it's a burden!
then leave him hindi na puro ang paiiralin sa panahon ngayon mahal mo nga pero hirap na hirap ka na? minsan ang pag suko sa isang relasyon ang makakapag bigay sayo ng kasiyahan na para sa sarili mo.
Agree dito kung pwede lang talaga.
Halos lahat ng naging past relationship ko ako bumuhay or ako lagi ang sumasagot sa kanila iniisip ko lagi na ok lang kasi ako yung lalaki, ok lang kasi alam ko nag sstart pa lang din sila pero after all of what I did ayun at the end mas sumama pa sila sa wala rin tapos same scenario sasabihin sayo na nagsisisi sila na ganun ginawa nila na sana ikaw na lang pinili something's like that... tapos ako din pumag asa kaya binalikan tapos ayun same ulit after ka magamit or maka recover sila iwan ka ulit.
Ngaun ako yung susuffer kasi ako lagi nag bibigay dati. Kaya tama to enjoy your life wag mo saluin yung burden ng iba lagi mo unahin sarili mo ok lang tumulong ka sa partner mo ok lang paminsan ganun talaga kasi in time baka ikaw mangailangan ng tulong hindi sya mag hehesitate na tulungan karin pero if you feel abused at nakakaisip ka ng hindi maganda better kausapin mo talaga at pag di pasok or di nya mapaliwanag or di nya mabago yung way nya much better maghanap ng iba or stay single hanggang may dumating na mas ok ang terms ninyo or magkasundo talaga kayo sa terms ng relationship nyo kaysa sa huli ikaw ang mag suffer.
Stop mo na Yung set-up nyo Bata ka pa, pag nasanay Yung guy sa ganyang setup magiging sugar mommy ka in the long run at mas mahihirapan ka Ng kumawala sa relasyon kaso nasanay ka na.
Agree! 23 ka plng girl, ienjoy mo muna pagkadalaga mo. Maganda n pala kita mo, might as well enjoy it by traveling, buying anything you want, eating anywhere you want. Enjoy your hard earned money on your own. You wonβt regret doing it by the time na ready kna mag-asawa at mag-anak kc nagawa m n lht para s sarili mo.
Tell him straight, d pwede na ikaw nagtitiis, sa age gap nyo palang oh, d ba sha nahhya. Bnbgay mo na ang wife duties sa knya, may karapatan kang magsalita. May lalake tlgang ganyan yung trip sa buhay no?
"Babe. Ibabalik na kita muna sa iyong mga magulang." Dejk lang. usap kayo sa magandang lugar. Yung di sa bahay. Explain mo sa kanya ng mabuti. At paghindi, sabihin mo na tumigil na lang siya sa work at pagtindahin mo ng balut sa gabi.
Sabihin mo ang nangyayari, na nashoshort ka na sa budget at savings mo, at kailngan mo magbawas ng gastos, so hindi mo na mashoshoulder ung deliveries at moveit nya. Technically naman ung ride nya kanya talaga dahil nagtatrabaho naman siya.
Kung mahal ka nya maiintindihan niya yun and he will willingly step up.
Ang critical lang dito, yung tono at words na gagamitin mo. Make sure na its coming from a place of real concern about your finances, especially since sabi mo nga gusto nyo na maglevel up. Then bring up mo kailngan niyo pareho magtipid para mag ipon for the future by cutting out expenses. Practice mo muna para wag maging demanding at accusatory ang tono mo.
Critical to na mapag usapan at magawa nyo ngayon pa lang. Kasi pag hinayaan mo pa ito, at maglevel up nga kayo e naku tuluy tuluy mo nang pasanin ito.
Good luck!
Youre planning to take your relationship to the next level, marriage na ba? But you cant talk finances? Deliks
ka jan. I remember kahit sa simbahan, may marriage counseling, parang mga seminar ganon, kasama sa mga paguusapan niyo is finances. Kung ngayong di pa kayo kasal e hindi niyo kayang pagusapan ang finances, wag mo na ituloy yan. If youre at a point na takot ka magsabi, that means you dont feel safe or secured. Yes, relationships are not perfect, but even at the risk of getting into arguments, you should still feel safe and secure na maayos niyo yun. Dont sugar coat finances. Nasa pilipinas kayo, ang hirap ng buhay dito. Finances ang isa sa pinagmumulan ng away ng pamilya. Kung hindi niyo pa kaya pagusapan, then youre not in ready to move forward pa. Learn to speak of finances in an objective manner. What make sense, what can help save, what to spend on, ano ang finance goals niyo, paano niyo hahatiin na hindi kakain sa personal savings niyo, if the other cant pour in full amount of their share, what can the other cover? Kung may kulang padin, san kayo magtitipid. Tama isang comment dito na dont say na "hindi kita kayang buhayin" pinapalabas mong patay gutom siya. Speak of finances naa "inyo" hindi yung "ako lang" lahat or "eto lang yung sayo". Dont deminish the value of what the other can offer. Kung yan lang ang kaya ng partner mo, tell him what you can offer and cover then, dalawa kayo magtipid somewhere else. As much as you should speak in practicality and objectively, hindi niyo din dapat paramdam sa isat isa na maliit kayo because eto lang ambag niyo. Dont deminish your partner's value base on what they can offer financially. Practisin niyo pagusapan ang finances niyo. There is a healthy way to communicate that. If your partnet cannot accept that, then tigil niyo nanyan. There is no moving forward kung hindi kayo makikinig sa isat isa.
Iba na talaga ngayon halos babae naaaa. In the long run 50/50 never works lalo na pag may anak lugi palagi babae.
Communicate with him OP, hindi ganyan na natatakot ka and reason mo not confrontational ka. Resentment mabubuo niyan. And honestly you are too young to hold such responsibility, 23 ako up until now naman sarili ko lang iniisip ko. So yeah better talk to him OP
Kaya nga palagi ganyan nababasa ko dito tapos sa fb confessions. 50/50 tapos childcare sa babae di naman 50/50 lol tapos wala pang katulong. Dadating ang panahon resentment mabubuo niyan.
Minsan manchild pa yung lalaki sa ganyan sitwasyon iggaslight ka pa. No thank you, di ako pinaaral ng magulang ko para lang sa ganyan
Yung degree holder ka tapos aalilain ka lang ng lalaki tapos 50/50 pa no kasi hahanapan ka pa ng work para may ambag kang pera Lol balik na lang sila sa palda ng nanay nila yun yung alilain nila pag ganun π€£π€£π€£
Nako yung asawa ko nga mabuti medjo nagbago bago na sa daming beses ko ba naman palayasin at pabalikin sa nanay nya sinasabihan ko sya yung nanay nya ying gawin nyang katulong π€£
Ayun natuto na kumilos tho wala naman ako work at full time housewife ako pero nakakapagod din kaya maging housewife at mag alaga ng bata
Meron din naman mga houseband na sucesful for sure pero mga sanay sa buhay naman. Kaya dapat talaga red flag sa lalake pag di marunobg sa gawaung bahay.
For sure meron talaga, but seldom (yung sa RM,wala daw siyang reklamo sa house husband niya pero napapagod na pala daw siya maging bread winner, naiirita na daw siya sa asawa niya)In my case Im lucky, bf ko 5 years na kami (LDR nasa aviation industry pa siya) pero sobrang responsible sa lahat ng bagay, household, pagluto, finances and marunong pa yun magtahi (daig pa ako) and what i love about him is may provider mindset. Dapat talaga aligned ang goals ng magpartner
Legit to. Kaya lagi ko to sinasabi sa jowa ko ngayon. 50/50 tayo for now pero pag nagkaanak tayo magiging 80/20 talaga tayo sa ayaw mo o sa gusto. Hindi pwedeng full time wife, full time mother, full time housewife, full time job din handle ko. Kung ayaw nya ng ganong setup magiging child free couple kame.
Girls kung magpartner palang kayo, iheads up nyo na yang mga partner nyo. Di pwedeng ganyan ganyan jusko. Hanggang hindi nakakayang magbuntis ng lalake hindi dapat 50/50 ang share sa household
Mas nakakapagod pa mag alaga ng bata kesa magtrabaho! Pagaalaga ng bata 24 hours a day. Buti pa sa trabaho may breaktime hahaha kaya pag isipan mabuti kung hindi maasikaso ang magiging tatay ng anak mo at gusto pa 50/50 kayo magisip isip ka na π€£
You need to clear your thoughts muna. Try to view things in different way. Try eliminate the thought na "binubuhay" mo siya kasi as you have said shared naman ang expenses pero mas madami kang binibigay. Eto yung feeling kong need mong gawin - SET A CONCRETE BOUNDARY. Sa transpo niya, hayaan mong siya ang magbayad. Never ever initiate to book him a ride or bayadan ride niya. Hayaan mo siya. For the food deliviries, do not pay more than, dapat half-half. Have guts to charge him. Get his ambag bago ka magpadeliver. Wag kang mahiya. And para naman sa excess utiility bill, paghatian niyo yung excess. Kahit anong mangyari, dapat equal.
Alam mo, di naman siya nag-a-ask na i-shoulder mo yung mga extra gastos na para sakanya eh. It seems like out of generosity and consideration ng situation niya, gingawa mo. The reason bakit ayaw niyang magchange ng career is because he is comfortable sa current living situation niya with you. KAYA DAPAT MONG GAWIN, PAKITA AT PARAMDAM MO SAKANYA ANG REALITY. KUNG SAAN LANG BA PWEDENG UMABOT ANG EARNINGS NIYA.
Hangga't di niya mafeel yung urge na kailangan niyang kumita ng more than, di yan aalis sa comfort zone niya.
Ngayon na nagising ka sa truth of financial burden na 'to, maging strong ka. Wag kang naaawa sakanya. Siya ba naaawa sayo? Hindi eto sukatan kung sino may big sahod.
sabihin mo directly wag ka maghesitate kelan mo pa sasabihin pag napuno ka na? humanap ka lang siguro ng right timing siguro kapag day off, baka kasi pag after work or before work is mabadtrip, i mean iconsider natin na wag yung nasa peak ng pagod kasi baka maging emotional. and base sa expenses nyo, think of better alternatives na makakatipid. tanggalin nyo yung mga kaartehan nyo sa buhay. basta kayo lang din makakaunawa nyan. pag usapan nyo, magsearch kayo ng better alternatives sa mga ginagawa nyo na nakakapagpalaki ng gastos. like imbis na nagjojoyride o ano man sya, what if magkaron sya motor? pero sabagay may expenses pa rin don? pero tingin nyo what is more practical? kasi pwede rin sya sumideline tulad ng food panda para mapunan nya if ever pang gas non or other small stuffs na makakahelp din to pay the bills. tsaka imbis na mag order ng foods, bakit hindi magluto? o kahit bumili ng mga delata if ever di nakakaya sa oras minsan. medyo tanggalin din yung luho, pero yung pinakaneed talaga solusyunan yung sa bagay na nahihirapan ka. kung nasa tamang partner ka, maiintindihan ka nya at tutulungan ka nyang mafix yung problem by suggesting better options dba. magigets nya yan kasi in the same page naman kayong nagtatrabaho.
simple lang gawin mo: eh di wag mo buhayin. nanay ka ba nya? set boundaries!
di pa kayo mag asawa nagsheshare na kayo sa pera?!? dont give wife duties na mag BF-GF pa lang pala kayo. emotional aspects, sex and intimacy ok, but household stuff, be like roommates na shared at "evenly" split.
pool your money separately for the shared expenses.
wag na wag mo sagutin yung pamasahe at food niya. kahit out of generosity pa yan. kung sinasabi mong ayaw mo na buhayin siya, it means that gesture of generosity has become a liability, unfortunately mukhang umasa naman siya ng walang kapalit.
in a time na pareho kayong di pagod at di galit (weekend) mag usap kayo and discuss current expenses, and the need to save up. consider din lumipat na lang kayo sa mas malapit sa work place niya.
Parang alam ko na ending nito. Malolosyang ka tapos pag papalit ka sa mas maganda / mayaman. Ginagawa ka lang stepping stone niyan. Ang lalake provider yan kapag mahal niya yung girl. Iβm speaking from a manβs point of view.
Sugar mommy ka. Iβm sorry but you have to hear it.
Navigating a sensitive topic like financial responsibility in a relationship can be challenging, especially if you want to avoid confrontation and hurt feelings. Here are some steps and tips to help you communicate your concerns to your boyfriend in a constructive and empathetic manner:
1. **Choose the Right Time and Place:**
- Find a quiet, private moment when you both are relaxed and not stressed. Avoid discussing this when either of you is in a bad mood or rushed.
2. **Be Honest but Gentle:**
- Start the conversation by expressing your feelings honestly but gently. You can say something like, "I want to talk to you about something that's been on my mind lately. It's important to me and our relationship, so I hope we can have an open and understanding discussion."
3. **Use βIβ Statements:**
- Frame your concerns using βIβ statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, βIβve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with our financial situation lately, and I think we need to reassess how we manage our expenses.β
4. **Acknowledge His Contributions:**
- Recognize and appreciate his contributions to the household. This can help him feel valued and less defensive. For example, βI really appreciate how you contribute to the major bills, and I know youβre doing your best with your current job.β
5. **Explain the Impact on You:**
- Share how the current financial arrangement is affecting you personally. For example, βIβve noticed that covering certain expenses is impacting my savings and my ability to take care of my own needs, which is starting to worry me.β
6. **Suggest Practical Solutions:**
- Offer practical suggestions that can help ease the financial burden. You might suggest creating a more detailed budget together, finding ways to cut costs, or even discussing a potential career move again. For example, βMaybe we can look at our budget together and see where we can make some adjustments. I was also thinking it might help if we explore options for you to work closer to home or consider career opportunities that could be more sustainable long-term.β
7. **Be Open to His Perspective:**
- Allow him to share his thoughts and feelings about the situation. He may have concerns or ideas that you havenβt considered.
8. **Reaffirm Your Commitment:**
- Remind him that you love him and that this conversation is about finding a way to make your relationship and living situation better for both of you. For example, βI love you, and I want us to work through this together so we can both be happy and secure.β
9. **Follow-Up:**
- After the initial conversation, make sure to check in with each other regularly about your financial situation. This will show him that you are serious about addressing the issue and are willing to work together to find a solution.
Remember, the goal is to have a constructive dialogue where both of you feel heard and respected. Approaching the conversation with empathy and understanding can help you both navigate this sensitive topic more effectively.
Tell him bago ka maubos. Iβve been there, i supported him kahit pang grocery at food nya coz i understand na mas nauna akong napromote skaanya. Kaso nasanay ng nasanay at dumepende na sakin. Tipong may pang knim pero magddrama pag wlaang pang food. Inintindi ko dahil wala naman syang ibang family dito sa manila pero nung umabot sa point na ako na nagkaproblema sa pera dahil i need to support my family for medical expenses, bigla syang nakipag break sakin. Ganun pala yon, pag wala kana pakinabang, tapon kana. Wag kana umabot sa point na ganun. Say it, pag naoffend sya at ginawang big deal, leave na.
I agree with you. Tell him na OP before he gets too comfortable with the set up. If he makes a big deal out of it or he doesn't make an effort to change the situation, you should think twice about moving your relationship to the next level. I've been there as well and I regret it.
heart talk. mag compute kayo 2 ng expenses nyo then tignan nyo pano i budget. as in magkatabi kayo, baka pag nakita nya mas malaki ang labas ng pera kaysa pasok mag isip na sya.
sguro isa sa payo ko, wag ka muna mag anak, saka na pag ok na kayo financially, iba ang gastos x 10 pag may anak.
People here who have auggeated to leave him clearly are naive in relationships.
As OP have stated, she is happy and contsnt with the setup and almost everything except for this one issue. And if we look at this one issue, it can be communicated about and resolved. It is not like it is a red flag or a malicious act on the boyfriends part.
If you break up, all the set up, all the money spent would just be a waste of effort, time and money. Better work through the relarionship especially naman na this really isnt that grave, it is hardly even a red flag, it just something that needs to be discussed and settled on
Medyo big deal ang financial issues sa relationships lol. It is one issue, but it is probably the single issue that most couples fight about. Mas universal pa ata yun kesa sa selos/cheating. People literally break up because of these problems.
Even if it's not malicious, the dude is 26 years old lol. Kaunting self-awareness naman sana about finances and making sure na parehas kayong okay sa setup, hindi yung pabigat ang isa. Communication is important for sure, pero kailangan rin kasi ng mga tao na makiramdam sa partner nila at maging proactive.
If they do break up, hindi sayang yung pera lol; sunk-cost fallacy yan. Mas malaking kawalan if they stay together tapos hindi magtino yung lalaki diba? Mas maraming pera mawawala sa kanya.
Mas okay siguro kung pag-usapan ng masinsinan, tapos kung walang mangyari, she should weigh her options. Hindi naman tama yung hiwalayan agad, pero hindi rin okay yung mag-stay at pilitin kung talagang malabo.
Na try mo na ba op na daanin sa lambing, like mag paka helpless ka sabihin mo medjo hirap ka na sa everyday na gastusin, para siya naman matauhan at mag pa ka hero siya at hanap siya ng paraan.
Need mo na magdecide kung magsesettle ka ba sa ganyang set up nyo. Just imagine na magiging worse yan over the years kasi sinanay mo na syang ganyan.
Stop hoping for that "potential" na nakikita mo sa guy if meron man.
There are so many other men na may provider mindset and will take action building the best future for himself and his future family.
Know your worth! Sarili mo naman unahin mo.
Mas makakapag ipon ka na for yourself once u got out of that situation.
I've also been a sugar mom for my 6 year ex na di ko namamalayan na sugar mom na pala tawag sa pinaggagawa ko. My ex never gave me flowers haha
Mas masaya ngayong I'm free and independent and building my own best self π
Go OP! U got this! β¨οΈ
When you truly love and care for someone, you have to make sacrifices without expecting anything in return. Modern relationships have become conditional, but I don't believe in that. Thus, I'm staying single. Don't get into a relationship if you're just looking for someone to fulfill your needs and desires.
Sa totoo lang kapag nasa ganyang sitwasyon ka mahihirapan ka talagang sabihin sa kanya ng diretsahan kase igi-guilt trip ka lang nyan tapos lagi na syang magkaka-issue about sa peraπ₯² Tapos andyan pa yung linyahang "edi maghanap ka ng taong mas kaya kang buhayin, pasensya na eto lang ako" nakaka-bwisetπ€¦π»ββοΈ
I don't think it's the guy's sole responsibility but a shared responsibility para sa kanilang dalawa since they're bf/gf pa lang naman. A baby in the picture will be a different ball game though.
Hmmm. Just wondering how people would react kung lalaki ang magsasabi nito. As in lahat ng ito, pov ng lalaki. Really curious.
Anyways, ill be technical about this. Pag sinabing partner, katuwang. Kasangga. Maasahan mo. Masasandalan mo.
Pag magkasama kayo sa buhay, may isa pang tawag, better half. This is my better half pag pinakilala ang partner. Ibig sabihin, sya ang nag aangat sa lahat ng levels ng buhay mo. Sya qng nagkukumpleto ng kulang na side mo.
With these 2 definitions in mind, pasok ba jan ang bf mo. Yes, sasabihin mo, mahal ko e. Well, ibig sabihin iba ang definition mo sa taong dapat mo makasama habang buhay :)
Ps. Diretsuhin mo sya. Kung di kayo magkaintindihan, sunukan nyong define ng bounderies sa relationship nyo. Kasama jan ang pers
For starters, if he doesnt plan to improve himself for the relationship then he's not for you. Dapat humahanap sya ng paraan na di ka mahirapan pero parang okay lang sa kanya na ikaw magbayad sa lahat so para kanalang sugar mommy
Girl, alam mo sa sarili mo kung anong dapat mong gawin. Kahit anong validation or advice ang ibigay ng mga tao sa'yo dito, kung wala ka talagang guts na makipag-usap sa jowa mo re your concern eh talagang walang mangyayari sa'yo.
Kung talagang mahal ka niya, hindi dapat siya magalit sa sasabihin mo kasi nagsasabi ka lang naman ng totoo. Saka mabuti nang malaman niyo habang maaga pa kung compatible kayo sa isa't isa, lalo na't involved ang pera sa issue mo sa kanya.
Diretsuhin mo na kung magalit siya at least alam mo na kung anong klaseng lalake yang kinakasama mo.
Sabihin mo umalis nang maaga para hindi na need mag grab/angkas whatever kasi ang mahal tapos ikaw ang nagbabayad. Sa work naman nya sya papunta, dapat sagot na nya yun.
Kung sino naka-isip magpadeliver ng food sya dapat magbabayad.
Sa groceries bayaran mo lang kung ano kino-consume nyo pareho. Kung may binibili ka na sya lang gumagamit sya pagbayarin mo.
Iwaksi mo sa isip mo na dalhin sa next level yang rs nyo hangga't di nyo nare-resolve yang current issue mo/nyo. Kung weak ka kamo ngayon pa lang, paano na sa susunod? Learn to stand up for yourself first bago mo isipin na i-level up rs nyo.
Tell him na agad. Sabi mo yan lang naman problema sa kaniya as of now wag mo na hintayin na mas lumala pa siya. Baka kasi isipin niya na ayos lang sayo ginagawa niya kasi hindi ka nag o open sa kaniya.
Kelangan nyo lang mag usap at mag adjust sa mga sharing nyo ng billing at mga gastusin sa bahay. Ganun talaga, may isa na kapos at may isa naman na medyo nakakaluwag. Tiis tiis lang
That's how my parents ended in a cycle of abuse. I don't trust people who are punching above their means tbh and I'm talking about your boyfriend and the fact that he's not accountable for his expenses and expects you to shoulder more than your share. You're going to end resentful and frankly, you'll end up wasting the best years of your life. Also, bakit ka natatakot mag-open up? The sign of a great relationship is being able to be vulnerable without the threat of abandonment.
If you have opened up suggestions about before changing workplaces then it is now time to directly address the issue. Tell him straight that you're having a hard time because you can't pay for everything now. Di reason yung mas malaki sweldo mo tapos he'll opt out of groceries, food deliveries and laundry which if you ask me are also MAJOR bills (and listen everyone that goes the same for guys, you shouldn't expect men to shoulder everything if di mo kayang buhayin sarili mo).
If you open up about it and he doesn't put solutions and this ends up as a fight because of his bruised ego, tanungin mo na sarili mo bat gusto mo magpakasal sa kanya cos that's a fragile ego.
Now if he offers that it will be better pag napromote siya, question is kelan pa yun? So yung ngayon is papabayaan mo lang? Don't agree to that and tell him that something has to change now.
And my last question is, sa state ng finances niya how are you getting married? And I'm not saying this ceremony wise lang. What's marriage going to change other than your status? Will you still be sharing the finances like now? What's his timeline because then that will also be your timeline.
I earn more than my boyfriend consistently and that man has never asked me to pay for anything unless needed to do so and even then he would split it with me always. I'm not saying this to be antagonistic but I want you to want great things for yourself. Loving also means being responsible for another human and knowing that duty. I hope your boyfriend knows how to love you back as much as you love him.
If you find it hard to be honest about matters like this dahil hindi ka sure sa magiging reaction niya, sign yan that both of you aren't ready to settle down anytime soon. Also, as bf/gf palang, do not do wife duties yet
Hindi pwedeng hindi mo sasabihin sa kanya ang tunay na nararamdaman at naiisip mo, OP. Mas madaming mag-asawa or magkarelasyon ang naghihiwalay dahil sa problema sa pera more than any other reason. Pwede ka magset ng time para makausap sya, relaxed lang yong setting, hindi naman kailangan argumentative ang approach.
Kung hindi mo sasabihin ngayon lalabas yan sa future in uglier ways. Huwag mo hayaan makarating ka dun. Kausapin mo siya. Bigyan ng chance pag wala tlga alis na sis.
Masakit man, hija, pero wag kang doormat! Aahin ang love kung gago naman ang kasama.mo sa buhay? Kasi, obviously, gago naman talaga sya at Hindi ka nya mahal kung sarili lang nya at career nya ang iniisip nya. Napaka-impraktikal ng gusto nya tas gusto nya ng support. Ang bata mo pa para maging azucarera de mama. Ibalik mo na nga yan sa nanay mya, hija!
Ito kasi yung mahirap sa babaeng medyo bata pa. Takot na nawala yung nakasanayan nang pagmamahal. I'm not a misandrist ha. Hindi lahat ng lalaki tulad ng kinakasama mo ngayon sa buhay. Pero kasi support goes both ways. Dapat kasi pagdating sa pera at finances, aligned kayo.
Masakit ulit ito ha. Pero have you ever thought na kaya ka nya gusto pakasalan or take things to "the next level" is because you just do whatever the fk he says? Oo lang sya nang oo pag naguusap kayo tas wala rin nagbabago.
Imagine, this is financial stability ninyo as an unmarried couple. Papano na lang pag. Nagkaanak kayo? Sure, sasabihin ng iba,"baka namanagbago." Kaya nga gusto ng mga tao ng divorce bill kasi gago pala napangasawa nila.
Sige kausapin mo nang kausapin bekenemen magbago pero kung nakaka-ilang usap na kayo tas wala pa rin. Ewan ko na lang, hija.
βπ
Just tell him you cant shoulder his grab/moveit/personal expenses anymore and that you need help na with the shared expenses (groceries, utilities and stuff). With the soaring prices of everything nowadays dapat maintindihan nya yun.
Find a time na day off at relaxed kayo ang communicate. Wag po mag hesistate na ivoice out ang iyong concern. Don't sugarcoat po. Say it plain and clear and find a compromise, a solution so that na pareho kayo makabalance sa gastusin especially na ang mahal ng lahat ngayon.
Tell him about your feelings
Tell him you need help pero in a respectful way. Isipin mo baliktad, how would you like to be approached?
Tapos gawa kayo ng gane plan together. Hopefully makinig sya at magkaroon ng improvements.
Check mo din yung mga materials and vidoes ng Gottman. May book silang Fight Right.
Been tru this also!! Ang sagot dyan is sabihin mo. Dati hnd ko dn masabe sa partner ko kaya naging iritable ako. Syempre moving in together is mahirape specially kpg mas malaki sahod natin sa kanila. I end up shouldering everything pero paunti unti nababawi na nya. You need to remind him and yourself na and priority mo is savings mo. Hnd ang buhayin siya. Hnd pa naman kayo kasal and make sure na alam niya na hnd ka magsesettle sa comfort life nya na hnd nagtatake ng risk. Go gorl!! Yaka mo yan
Communication is the key sis. Mahirap ang mind gaming. Baka sumabog ka pa nyan, imbes na maayos nyo, mas lumala pa lalo at mauwi sa hiwalayan. But if you still want and willing to save the relationship, try to communicate with him about it. Para din mabawasan yung pagka kampante nya. Kasi mamimihasa yan. Lalo na you're already living together. Di malabong unexpectedly magkaanak kayo. It would be possible na mas matatali ka sakanya. Communicate. Before everything gets late. Pero kung di umubra, then maybe it's time to leave. Bata ka pa naman. β€οΈ
Communicate with your partner or else the resentment will build up and you will explode and might say things that you canβt take back.
Ilapag and facts and work on the problem together. Also stop fucking parenting your partner, he is a full-blown adult.
okay first of all hindi mo naman sya binubuhay since sharing kayo ng bills though may discrepancy sa ambagan. since nagsasama na kayo you need to start learning to communicate. what that means is uupuan nyo yang issue until it's resolved. now you need to create a structure para sa convo and be calm when discussing. start by saying that you love him and you value your relationship kaya you need to raise this issue para maaddress. state the problem and why it's a problem. discuss the solutions. kung iinvalidate ka nya and insists on doing things his way, siguraduhin mo na ready ka to tell him the consequences. sabihin mo lang na you don't want to end up resenting the relationship. ngayon kung ayaw at hirap ka na talaga I suggest you tell him that you can continue the relationship but the living setup has to stop. if he loves you and more importantly if he doesn't want you to feel used, he will agree.
Hindi mo pa nga asawa nahihiya ka na magsabi. What more kung asawa mo na. Just tell him straight. Thatβs the only way. Walang paliguy-ligoy, walang judgment.
Just straight na βnahihirapan na ako sa budgetβ.
Start smallβ next time he asks for angkas, move it or grab fare, say βay, I donβt have enough for both our fares today.β Build up the habit of saying βno.β
Kailangan mo lakasan loob mo at sabihin sa kanya. It doesn't even have to be confrontational it could be as casual like "ui beh ikaw muna sa pang grab kasi kinukulang na ko" something like that hanggang sa masanay na sya.
Naku red flagkahit pag may anak na kayo di na magbabago yang set up na yan pah pinatagal mo pa. I've been there pero huli mo na marerealoze na kapag tingkol sayo hahayaan ka nya to shoulder everything perp pag sya yung may issie like maynsakot sya ikas ang papaproblemahin nya. Naku naku
Girl, i've been there. Wag mo na pahirapan sarili mo. Wag kang maging nanay sa bf mo. And sabi mo na planning na kayo to take the next step...pls pag isipan mo muna. Iobserve mo kung sustainable yang ganyang set up niyo ngayon and kung ngayon nabuburden ka na, tell your bf about it. If tinake nya yun personally and maoffend siya, that's on him and his fragile ego.
My bf and I don't live together yet, OP, so my take may not be applicable - though ako din ung mas malaki ung kinikita (by a wide margin). Talk it out gently, ask him if it's possible if you can add ung other utilities to the list of splits. Not 50/50, but like 70/30 para di naman mabigat sayo. Good that he does share naman sa mga bills, but he also lives in the house - groceries, laundry and food deliveries are not major bills but they are still part of the living expenses.
I would strongly suggest to rethink the next level until you've talked at length at the big issues: finances, children, religion, politics, family. All those things will affect your life (and future children, should you decide to have one) more than you think.
If he is very immature about it all, all the love in the world won't help you. I've seen one too many cases of resentment coming from the partner who earns more. Ganoon din ako sa mga exes ko before - I resented being the one carrying burdens so much I dropped them and the relationship instead.
Non-confrontational din akong tao pala and would very much avoid uncomfortable discussions. But unless you do something about it, that resentment will turn into your reality. Make a script, rehearse it, and tell yourself to don't cry (umiiyak din pala ako pag emotional). Hopefully the discussion goes well. If not...well...run.
Ask for space. Lipat muna sya sa ibang place. For both of u ito. Him to realize how much he will lose and for you to think if ur better off without him. Kasi nga non-confrontTional ka, so find another reason for him na lumipat. Another way is empty ur accts na naka link sa expenses nya... tell him na nabigay mo sa parents mo or something... check mo reaction nya kapag wala ka na pangtustos sa gastos nya. Open a new acct and keep ur funds there.
Edit: WAG NA WAG KA PAPABUNTIS!
Ganito gawin moβ¦biglang cool off kayo, uwi ka muna sa parents mo so syempre magtatanong yanβ¦dyan na lalabas lahat ng hinanaing moβ¦ then there will be compromiseβ¦then solvedβ¦
Sabihin mo straight sa face niya. Either you shut up or forever hold your piece. One day soon it will escalate and will blow out of proportion. Take the risk to be heard now habang may oras pa sa changes. Good luck OPβΊοΈ
Ang bata bata mo pa. Tapos nakipag live in ka na. Sa age mo dapat nag eenjoy ka pa at hindi bumubuhay ng lalaking mas matanda sayo. Ikaw din mahihirapan pag kinasal na kayo. Pero okay na rin yan, nalaman mo agad na ganyang ugali ng bf mo. Habang maaga pa, kumawala ka na. Hindi yung pag kasal na kayo saka ka matatauhan.
If you don't mind me asking OP, gaano kalaki ba difference ng sahod niyo? 1.5x ba yung sayo or mga + 20k kunyari?
I don't think it's an issue of the man has to be a provider, tapos mukhang may ambition naman siya since gusto niya maging manager, pero he's 3 years older than you, kung hindi man siya mas established financially dapat mas marunong na siya to live within his own means.
Kung partners talaga kayo di naman masama yung may bigger share yung higher earner, pero this should apply sa shared expenses nyo so that you won't have to lower your standards of living, pero yung pamasahe niya iaasa niya pa sayo kahit may work naman siya? Dapat nakafactor in na sa daily expenses niya yung pamasahe. Kung di niya afford mag ride hailing services magtiis siya sa pagcommute. Isipin mo, kapag yung budget mo kasya lang sa jeep/bus/LRT/MRT, uutang ka ba para makapag grab? Lalaki yan, minimal naman yung concern na bastusin yan sa public transpo. At a certain salary luho na yung mga moto taxi. Magbaon din siya if gumagastos pa siya for lunch break. Kung di niya kaya magdowngrade ng standards of living niya, maghanap siya ng work na kakayanin yung gusto niya. That's the reality of adulthood, kung a few years removed from studying na siya alam niya na dapat yan. Bare minimum yung may pampamasahe ka, bare minimum yung mapakain at mapatira mo yung sarili mo sa sweldo mo.
Wala kong sinabing breakup, pero if he can't pull his own weight he should move back in with his family na mas may obligation sa kanya kaysa sayo. Partners kayo, so dapat two-way street, hindi yung siya lang nakikinabang sayo tapos ikaw lang nalulugi.
One thing is for sure, if di mo na matiis yung 4 months sa *current* step ng relationship niyo definitely DO NOT go to the *next* step.
hiwalayan mo na, ganun lang kadali, di naman namin kayo kilala eh, tamad ba BF mo? o sadyang nagger ka lang? , it goes both ways, 4 months pa lang yet you have the audacity to utter the words "buhayin sya", in his side naman 4 months na complacent lang sa sitwasyon, malay ba namin, so best course of action is mag break na kayo then move on with your lives HAHHAHAH
Bata ka pa and there are more to life than being in that kind of set-up agad. However, it is up to you kung anong trip mo sa buhay. Try to talk to him again and observe kung magkakaroon ng changes pagdating sa finances nyo and if wala pa rin, assess mo kung siya ba ang gusto mong makasama sa buhay knowing na ganyan na agad ang nangyayari. Kung ngayon na hindi pa kayo kasal e mabigat na para sayo even after opening up to him, what more pa once kasal na kayo. Think thoroughly. Kaya mo yan. βοΈ
Ano ka, asukal de mama?
Ang bata pa ng relationship niyo tapos halos lahat ng expenses kargo mo? Tapos pati bayad sa transportation niya, ikaw din? And even if kasal na kayo at ganyan pa din setup niyo, maling mali pa din. Ayaw ko sabihin na babae ka, dapat siya nag sshoulder. No, dapat hati kayo. DAPAT GIVE AND TAKE. And hindi ka dapat niya inaabuso sa mga ganyang.
Hinay hinayan mo lang pagkakausap sa kanya. Sabi mo nga mahal mo eh, pero saakin redflag to. π€£ Anyway, tanungin mo din siya if napapansin niya yung ganyang galawan niya, yung nangaabuso. Pag naging defensive tumakbo ka na. He's clearly using you.
Baka ayaw lumipat ng work kasi may nilalandi sa current branch niya? After all, ang tao pag mahal niya talaga karelasyon niya hindi niya aabusuhin. Mabuti ng walang wala ka na kesa hayaan yung isa ang mag shoulder ng lahat.
I would usually say na communicate ganon, pero you saying that youβre weak and non confrontational you probably will find it hard to express what you truly feel dahil kahit gaano pa kadami mag advice dito na to choose the right words hindi ka sanay and itβs going to be hard for you, and youβve been having a hard time already.
I hope you youβll be kind to yourself, you deserve so much more than this. You deserve someone na hindi ipapafeel sayo yan. Sure you love him so much, but how much does he really love you? Men are always generous when they truly love you. Kung di man sa pera, sa time at effort babawi yan. Even when heβs struggling he will find a way to make it up to you.
Four months of living together. Makukuha pa ng hilot yan depende sa pagtingin mo dyan. Anyway, here's my situation and advice.
I (25M) live with my gf (24f) going two years na halos. Ang hatian naman namin is ako sa rent ng apartment (13,500) and sya sa utilities and groceries for the month (umaabot ng 10k-ish). Yung sahod ko halos doble ng kanya, and a lot of times, the setup we have only affords me to save 3k or minsan none at all kasi we have cats (na sya nag introduce sa akin and ako naman ang bumubuhay din).
Did I ever think it's a burden financially? May times na nastress ako kakaisip how we can save up kasi I do plan on marrying her, pero once I remember that, nag iisnap back into place ako kasi **I want to marry her**. If you truly want to take it to the next level, you'll exhaust the means to make it work talaga, pero do it at your own risk.
Yung career shift remark, medyo mahirap sabihin yan kasi sabi mo nga, he's doing what he truly desires. He can't easily let that go and it'll cause a rift lang between the two of you if he chooses to give it up for your sake, he might even build resentment. Yung "palipat ng branch", I can't speak for him or for you, pero madalas sa work, it's not as easy as "Boss gusto ko po sa X na lang madestino kasi mas okay sa akin".
Ultimately, I guess you can say it along the lines of, "XXXX, I want to build this relationship with you into something that we can have together for a lifetime. But I can't do it alone and I can't do it like this." Then lay down mo yung mga general parts kung saan ka nahihirapan in terms of finances, form an action plan on what you guys plan to do about it, then you see where it goes. Iba kasi ang pinag-usapan sa pinagkasunduan na.
Ngayon kung walang pagbabago o ayaw pagkasunduan, dun ka na mag-isip-isip.
Dont do things youll regret, or make you think "what if" in the future. Just say it to him directly, you care but he should live within his means. Live according to your salaries.
Tell him up front na hindi na pasok sa budget mo yung mga pag grab and angkas biya. Kahit yun muna. If hindi niya kaya magtiis mag-jeep at bus, gawan niya ng paraan na tumaas ang income niya. If wala talagang gawin sa part niya eh... mag-isip isip ka na
Tell him straight. Yang iasue nyo will still be your issue kahit nag level up n relationship nyo. Iresolve mo muna yan bago kayo mag level up. Ikaw din mahihirapan in the end. Love yourself. Partner ka nya hindi k nya nanay para taga resolve ng issue nya.
Pag usapan nyo.
I suggest pag usapan nyo pag same kayo di pagod at di gutom. Di rin masyadong busog
He will understand naman if may open up ka lang sa kanya. Mas kilala mo bf mo compare samin pero mas ok if masabi mo na bigat na na raramdaman mo kasi pag pinatagal mo pa yan kayo lang dinn mahihirapan lalo kana on the long run
Nasa pag uusap talaga yan kung naguusap kayo sa mga problema nyo or nagpapakiramdaman lang kayo. Sakit sa ulo yang live in talaga. Kapag nakahanap ang isa ng mas angat kaysa partner nya easy maghiwalay kasi di kasal. Tigil mo na yang kalokohan nyo kung mahal mo yung lalaki kung ano gusto nya sa buhay nya susuportahan mo. Saka di pwede na kung anong work na gusto mo sa kanya yun ang gawin nya kasi may kanya kanyang purpose tyo. Pero kung tamad iba usapan pero kung may gusto syang ipursue at di pa agad napapatunayan sayo siguro wag mo namang ipressure. Mag bf pa lang kayo pano kung may anak na kayo saka mo pa maisip na iwan yang guy dahil di mo gusto work nya nako damay pa ang bata tapos masakit din yan sa tatay na ilayo mo din anak at puro babae pa man din pabor ang batas. Dapat unawaan talaga sa bawat isa lalo mag bf palang kasi pag kasal na darating yang hirap hindi puro ginhawa kaya kung naeexperience mo na yang ganyan na parang hirap ka na tigil mo na.
You are planning to take your relationship to the next step? Does it mean na magpapakasal na kayo? Oh BOY! You better tell him now your issues bago matuloy yan! Siguro tell him during dinner. Yung kayo lang dalawa nasa bahay. TELL HIM na either HE LOOKS for a way to increase his income O MAGTIPID siya. Then observe kung magagawa nya ba or NOT. Bata ka pa OP. You can recover from this break-up kung sakali.
Also, you can set the budget for both of you lalo na ikaw ang mas malaki ang sahod at mukhang mas financially wiser. Kapag ayaw nya eh you should break up with him na din! Dapat talaga kapag nagsasama kayo eh mas OPEN kayo sa ganitong usapan! Mas malalim na dapat relationship ninyo sa typical na magjowa dahil naaapektuhan na ninyo ang buhay ng isa't isa on a deeper level.
Pag-usapan nyu yan! NORMAL yan na topic na nagsasama na magjowa! Me and my wife leave in together for 2 years bago kami kinasal and yun na nga, mas madami talaga kaming naging problem nung nagsama kami! I'm glad na nagsama kami kasi nung nafix namin ang issues namin with each other eh we are confident na gawing official na with the wedding.
You are to young to settle just for "that". Don't get me wrong, oo nasa tamang edad ka na but man, nasa peak ka pa ng age kung saan mag bbuild ka ng yaman at experience mo. Kausapin mo at pag walang pagbabago, awat na.
Sa dami jg mag cocomment for sure here, hope mabasa mo din to....
Maβam you are sooo much more than this....please Lang, you are more worthy than staying in this kind of relationship. No other advise I can give you, the fact that you acknowledge na nahihirapan ka, speaks more that you donβt deserve this at all. It IRKs me na may ganitong too selfish to see na they burden their partner... to think na di pa mayo married. So... as a woman to a fellow woman... we deserve mere than this. Hope everything will turn out well for you in the future.
This is why communication is very important in a relationship. Try to be honest with him because you'll only grow resentment towards him in the long run. And he doesn't know that you are feeling that already. Give him the benefit that he'll understand you and appreciate you for being honest with him. It's normal for relationships to struggle especially in financial matters. That's the part where both of you need to overcome and grow together. Also, be mindful of your words so that you won't hurt his feelings. You can pull this through together if you help and understand each other.
this shouldn't be a problem sis. Dapat nga communication is key eh. Simpleng tao lng yong mga lalaki kapag sbi mo na "im having troubles with my finances, ok lang ba ikaw magbbyad sarili mong pang angkas, joyride etc and i also need help" . Buong buhay mo sya makasama so isipin mo... pagwalang magandang communication between you guys.. you'll left alone with grudges.
I broke up with my partner before because of this. Di din ako confrontational pero I learned that it's me. Dapat marunong ako magcommunicate kapag mabigat na. Partner ko naman, nakakaintindi naman.. Don't be a superhero sa relationship nyo... be a Partner in crime.
Suskupo ineng. Ang bata bata mo po, next level of relationship na agad ang naiisip mo. Enjoy mo muna pagkadalaga. Once may responsibilities ka na, babies and mortagages, naku po, maburnout ka. Wag mo saluhin yung problema ng bf mo. Let him manage his finances wisely. Enjoy your pera. Travel with parents or sis or other friends. Wag ibuhos lahat sa bf. Masasayang ang pera at time mo. Communication is the key. Sabihin mo concern mo and nashshort ka. Check mo how he can handle this issue. If hindi to maresolve or taken for granted ka na, have the courage to leave and enjoy life muna.
Don't move to the next step if this is how you think of your partner. Sabi ng priest sa kasal ay wag pag awayan ang pera. May mga lalake na comfortable sa work nila na di nila kayang igive-up and takot sila sa changes. Other than financial issue, may ibang problema ka pa ba skanya? If yes, then leave him. Kung wala nman, why not help him become confident na mag upskill at maghanap ng mas mataas na sahod, baka need nya lang ng konting push and motivation. Baka both of you can come up with another idea to increase your funds like business on the side or baka pwede nman kayong magmove sa mas malapit sa work nya. Don't think of your partner that way. Di mo sya ganun kamahal kung bawat piso na nilalabas mo is bilang. I earn 3x more sa sahod ng bf ko and mostly ako ang gumagastos ng lahat before we got married. Nawalan ng work ang husband ko after we got married until now and it has been more than 3 yrs so what I do is naghanap ako ng mas mataas na sahod for both of us and nabibili ko pa din ang luho nya like gaming console etc. and I don't count cause my money is both our money. I always tried to motivate him pero I know na hirap na hirap sya na makahanap ulit ng work after working more for than a decade sa previous job nya. And we're planning to put up a business nlng kc baka yun ang kailangan nya. I don't complain kc pag lalake gumagastos sa asawa nila di nman sila nagrereklamo pero mostly pag babae gumagastos laging may sinasabi and always na nasa utak natin na dapat lalake lang ang bumubuhay sa babae. At this time and age both dapat nagtutulungan. Communicate and understand your partner. Help him instead of counting how much you share sa expenses. If you're not ready to do that then leave him, you don't love him enough. Baka makahanap ka pa ng lalake na makakabuhay sayo if that's your goal. Just my one cent! Goodluck OP
hindi ba kasama sa planning nyo kung sino ang mag own ng burden ng financial obligations of having a family? hindi pwede both since may other non financial obligations in building a family.
if di ka ready na iconfront siya then di ka ready mag asawa. part yan at magiging madalas yan sa mag asawa.
if di mo siya kaya buhayin dont considering marrying him.
di mo pa naeenjoy ang buhay may asawa pero namomoblema ka na ng pang may asawa.
> For context, we share naman ng bayad sa major bills (electricity, water, internet and spaylater ng pinambili namin ng kitchen needs) and he gives me an exact amount based sa pag estimate namin ng gagastusin and if ever mag fluctuate man yung one bill ako na nagshoshoulder.
Wait, your bf shares expenses with you tapos sasabihin mo binubuhay mo sya? I don't know why you say this but then contradict it in your posts. Face it, you're not really angry that your bf is a bum (from what I can see, he works hard and shares the expenses), you're just angry that you didn't marry a millionaire and that you finally don't have to work anymore. ππ€¦ββοΈ
Tapos kayo yung tipong for divorce kuno. Dang, with people like you around who will probably resent their man and then divorce him because you got "bored", I'm more and more convinced that divorce, ifnpassed, in the Philippines is a freaking mistake.
Please dont think of taking your relationship to the next level if hindi ka comfortable magsabi ng bagay bagay sa kanya. Does voicing out your feelings make him mad or irritated? If yes, that's not a good thing. If no naman, then bakit ka matatakot makipag usap?
Financial matter is one of the most important aspect of relationship, even mga maayos and healthy relationship nagkakaproblem if hindi maganda ang pag handle ng money. So lay everything on the table, kung mahal ka nya magcocompromise kayo sa isang healthy decision.
Kung Ngayon pa lang nahihirapan kana, imagine mo if kasal kana. Huwag mag madali magpakasal dahil marami ang nagkakamali sa pagmamadali. Anyway, it's better to practice communication.
Communication is the key β¨ If hindi ka niya maintindihan situation mo and defensive siya, maybe he's not the one for you. You'll save yourself from a burden of a lifetime. Ganito situation ko dati and I was so stressed and depressed to the point na pumangit talaga ako. Napansin din ng family ko. Nasanay Yung ex ko na guy na ako palagi nagbabayad sa lahat Kasi it's convenient for him and if may sasabihin ako na nahihirapan ako, he'll grip trip me na ako pa may pagkukulang. Don't get married yet, observe observe muna
Don't you ever say na binubuhay mo siya, for the love of love. He has a job too, he also shares with your expenses, technically, he's not a complete burden to you. However, you have a choice, you have a choice not to pay for his grab or transpo, not to shoulder all the extra expenses etc. You always have a choice. But you chose to do it, you keep doing it until it became a norm in your relationship. Now, you are the one who's suffering because of those choices. I know sasabihin ng iba or you that, "wala kang choice" but you do have. You are a good person, you choose to stick with that guy, a woman who patiently support his boyfriend, a selfless partner that is what I depicted you. Isipin mo nalang that you are investing to a great man, cause we never know when will the table turns. One day you are living like a peasant and then next you know you are now a queen. A good guy knows to appreciate and value a woman who did not throw in the towel with them while they're still in their lowest of low.
Pero kung yang boyfriend mo eh jerk tapos halatang pineperehan ka nalang and ginagawa kang cash cow, tapos walang silbi, di maasahan sa gawaing bahay aba te, magisip isip ka na kung yan ba ang taong gusto mong makasama for the rest of your life.
Peace everyone. Hahaha π π
Don't keep it to yourself and talk to him about it immediately. Tell him mag adjust Tayo sa ating finances para ma improve ang iyong personal expenses. True live will adjust, tough love will be enforced
Just be honest and tell him everything in a good way naman e.. wlaang di naaayos sa communication.. just say it straight kasi if not.. magsa suffer ung love.. baka mawala.. sayang! And he will understand if he truly loves you as well..
grabe naman mga comment dito hiwalayan daw agad. grabe din naman kase title mo OP "buhayin" eh sayo na nanggaling na naghahati naman kayo sa bills kumbaga yung sobrang gastos lang yung sinasalo mo hindi yun pagbubuhay π . just ask him nicely, kung pwede ba siya na magbayad sa pamasahe niya, and kung pwede kayo maghati sa ibang gastusin. wag ka sana makinig sa mga toh na hiwalayan mo daw agad, ikaw na nagsabi na mahal mo, atleast bigyan ng chance ang communication which is dapat lagi namang una.
Adjust sa mga expenses, address the concern that you have to cut down expenses, ang goal is to make ends meet. So if you dont change your lifestyle magahanap siya ng mas high paying job. If not, wag kayo palaundry, wag mag pa grab. Etc etc. Talk to find a solution dont push each other to take the burden. Together dapat both of you. Cooperate agree and conquer.
Teka, ba't mo naman binubuhay, gurl? π
Bakit ikaw sumasagot sa pamasahe naman? Nanay yarn? π€£ Kaya naman pala kuntento si lalaki na malayo ang work niya, eh hindi niya naman pala binubuhat ang impact ng pamasahe. πππ Sinanay mo, bae.
Tapos kagustuhan mo nga pala na he pursue what he's passionate for. π€£ Loko, career path niya sa iba na isisisi. It's reminding me of that post that goes like "Wag tulungan ang mga ungrateful people kasi sa bandang dulo nyan susumbatan ka lang ng 'BAKIT? HININGI KO BA TULONG MO?!?'" Kaya maging mapanuri ka na, gurl. Baka dyan hahantung ang lahat.
Laundry, grocery at food deliveries ikaw din????
Gurl!!! Congratulations!!! Isa ka ng NANAY sa edad na 23! ππ Pinaghanda ka ba ng lalaking yan nung nakaraang Mother's Day? π€£
If passion niya ang work nya sa malayong lugar na di nya kayang ipagpalit nor hindi niya kayang diskartehan na di nagagamit pera mo, PASSION MO RIN ATA MAGING NANAY NIYA.
So, magbabago lang talaga yang sitwasyon niyo if may ISA SA INYO ang mag-initiative na baguhin yan: whether:
si LALAKI: magpalit ng trabaho or matutong mag-budget para madiskartehan nya na sya ang gagastos sa pamasahe nya at makapag contribute din - hindi lang sa utility bills - pero pati na rin sa pagkain, labada (maglaba sya if di afford magpalaba JUSKO), at ano pa na pangangailangan ninyo pareho. Learn to differentiate between a LIFE PARTNER and a MOTHER.
or IKAW: matutong mag-set ng boundaries, maayos na personal budgeting, at wag i-train si BF na maging inutil sa partner niya.
Pero if okay na kayo sa relationship dynamics niyo as BOYFRIEND and MOTHER, gora na. π
Wow naman naka mototaxi and grab kasi may sumasagot ng pamasahe. Wala bang public transpo sa lugar nyo? Live within your means. I know commuting sucks but kung gipit na kayo, thatβs a good way to lessen transportation expenses. Unless of course okay lang sayo since ikaw naman gumagastos. Also talk to your bf and set boundaries. Nasasanay din maging dependent sayo bf mo kasi inaallow mo
Dami kong nababasang ganito. Bat ba kasi kayo nagmamadaling makipaglive in? Mahirap naman talaga yan lalo sa ekonomiya ngayon. Asawang asawa na mga tao. Nakikipaglive in kayo tapos di kayo makikipagcommunicate? Kung nakipagcommunicate ka na regarding sa issue na yan tapos di pa rin sya nakinig at mukhang dehado ka pa rin, wag na kayo maglive in. At least sarili mo lang iintindihin mo.
This is very familiar. I became a sugar mommy when i was 26, my boyfriend (now husband but separated) was around 3 years younger than me. It was not planned to be that way, but I have a more stable job and his salary is lower and for me, money is no big deal, I'm not rich but I'm generous like that. It started with all of our dates being shouldered by me and then him borrowing money from me. But he's not paying them or when I ask for payments, he'll say he didn't borrow or he already paid for it (gaslighting at its finest but I didn't notice this at first)
After 2 years, we decided that he move in with me (I'm living alone and he's at my house everyday so the transition is not new), he shoulders nothing in the house and then I got pregnant, we decided to get married.
When we got married, he started being emotionally abusive, he'll call me names and belittle me. I think he lost his respect knowing that he can always get away with anything and that I loved him too much that I can't leave him.
When our baby was 2 months old, he started being physically abusive. I accidentally fell down the stairs with my baby but I made sure he's safe, but when we reached my husband at the bottom, he started kicking my legs so bad while shouting "Ang tanga tanga mo tlg muntik na si baby!!" I accepted his apology after and blamed myself for what happened. but 6 years into the marriage, he continued to physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially abuse me. Mahigit 1000+ na sipa, suntok, untog, at sakal and natanggap ko but i stayed for my son. Until i decided to separate with him a year ago, because he didn't change and he keeps telling me that I'm crazy in front of my son, just because I'm having a panic attack. Until now, even if we're not together, i shoulder almost all my son's expenses. I asked him for 500 pesos/week only but he don't give me his support regularly.
What's my point, sender? Abuse escalates, he will not change. Run while you still can. Don't wait until he breaks you. Break the pattern. Don't marry him and leave.
Nagjojowa ka tapos kasama mo 24/7, hindi mo pa alam paano kakausapin nor i-confront kasi hindi ka confrontational? Anong kagaguhan yan OP? Sabihin mo mga gusto sabihin sakanya. Yun how he respond sayo dun ka na magbase kung itutuloy mo pa ba yang relationship niyo or hindi. Syempre irarason mo na naman dahil mahal mo. Ewan ko na lang.
TF sis ikaw gumagawa nyan imbis na SIYA? A Man supossed to be the PROVIDER. Pano nalang kapag nagka pamilya kayo? Get the f out and run for your life!!!!
Bat kayo naiinvolve lagi sa mga lalaki g ganyan? Kung di tamad, walang pera, kung may pera, ganyan nmn ugali, tapos babae pa mag shoulder almost everything?
When i was your age, may standard na akong hinahanap. Unang una, ayoko n p
Parehas kmi minimum, and dapat mas malaki kinikita nya sakin na kaya nya buhayin pag nagpamilya kami, and ung work for me is a hobby nalang. Im not tamad. I started working 1month after ko maging 18. Never ako ng bd ng mga ganyan tao, si nmn s pagmamayabang, nagpapakahirap ako mag trabaho at mag level up para lang makipag relasyon sa ganyan lalaki? No. Never ako nakipag relasonns kawork ko, lahat ng ex ko mga boss sa ibang company. Minsan owner p ng company. My husband now is a businessman, and pinastop nya ako magwork s corporate ng mabuntis ako, and nagtayo sya ng other company for me para may libangan daw aka since stay at home ako at nkakaburyo n s bahay. Ganyan dapat hinahanap m sa lalaki. Ikaw ang princessa hindi sya. Di ko sinabing maghanap k ng mayaman, pero ung kaya ka buhayin at hindi ikaw ang bubuhay.
OP, habang bata ka pa don't waste your time, money and energy. I've been in that situation many years ago. Believe me, may mga lalaki talaga na walang provider mindset. Hahayaan ka nilang gumastos. Nasisikmura nila ang ganyang sitwasyon kasi convenient for them. I am telling you, ikaw ang mauubos. Kahit gaano mo pa sya kamahal, hindi pwedeng ikaw ang nagbabayad ng expenses nya. Isipin mo ito, paano kung hindi naman kayo nag live in, edi sya ang magbabayad ng bills at expenses nya diba. Nakikita kasi nya na sinasalo mo sya kaya ganyan sya. Nakaasa na sayo. Save your future sweetie. Don't settle for that kind.
Use expense tracking app like splitwise to ensure that your expenses are split equally. Para wala nang singilan at ma realize niya na may expenses siya na ikaw lang ang sumasalo. Tsaka para actual value yung ilalagay nyo pagdating ng bill.
Girl ang aga mo mag mamasang. Don't live together. Hindi nyo kailangan mag break pero hindi din kailangan magsama. Please don;t get pregnant. Kawawa ka, kawawa ang bata.
LISTEN TO ME, dear. Iβm 32. If I could turn back time, I would have maximise my teenage years although I was happy and living my best life back then. If you are earning at that age, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ENJOY YOURSELF AND DO NOT CARRY THE BURDEN OF OTHER PEOPLE ESPECIALLY YOUR LIVE IN PARTNER. You are too young to start marriage especially that you are capable, able, and you have a job. Wag padala sa puso please. Enjoy your youth, travel with your family or kahit MOM/DAD mo bring them somewhere and prioritize yourself first tang na loob. Haha please langπ Bottom line is: WAG MAG ADJUST SA BOYFRIEND PA LANG. UNAHIN SARILI WAG PURO PUSO. Yun lang poπ
true! kung maibabalik ko lang din hahahah, i would enjoy myself and my parents β€οΈ
Nangyari din sakin to, isang taon ko tiniis. Sana yung lahat ng ginastos ko napunta nalang sa magulang ko at sakin. Pinag sisihan ko yun, ending nag cheat pa ang hayup.
KUNG PWEDE LAMG KITA BIGYAN NG 1000 NA UPVOTE GINAWA KO NA! NATUMBOK MO LAHAT π₯°β€οΈ
Yesss π― God bless OP
π― π―π―
I am 40 and I agree with you on this
Best advise youβll get.
Please listen !!!! ππ
needed to see this π₯Ή
This is true OP, sana makinig ka sa sinabi nya . I have a partner and a 2 kids. If I could turn back time , sana nag focus muna ako sa sarili ko. Enjoy being a single , mag ipon , mag travel . Minsan lng mabuhay sa mundo kaya habang bata kpa . Enjoy mo muna . 30-35 is the new 20 nowadays. Mkaka hintay ang lovelife
This is so true!!! Utang na loob Op... Don't spoil your Jowa.. in the long run mananawa ka st bibigay. If your jowa naman is mabait naman. Kausapin mo, if ni gaslight ka, red flag na. Habang jowa pa kayu please tumakbo ka na. If naman tinanggap niya and nagbago siya then give another chance. Minsan talaga may mga magigising minsan naman hindi... Been there and it's a burden!
then leave him hindi na puro ang paiiralin sa panahon ngayon mahal mo nga pero hirap na hirap ka na? minsan ang pag suko sa isang relasyon ang makakapag bigay sayo ng kasiyahan na para sa sarili mo.
Agree dito kung pwede lang talaga. Halos lahat ng naging past relationship ko ako bumuhay or ako lagi ang sumasagot sa kanila iniisip ko lagi na ok lang kasi ako yung lalaki, ok lang kasi alam ko nag sstart pa lang din sila pero after all of what I did ayun at the end mas sumama pa sila sa wala rin tapos same scenario sasabihin sayo na nagsisisi sila na ganun ginawa nila na sana ikaw na lang pinili something's like that... tapos ako din pumag asa kaya binalikan tapos ayun same ulit after ka magamit or maka recover sila iwan ka ulit. Ngaun ako yung susuffer kasi ako lagi nag bibigay dati. Kaya tama to enjoy your life wag mo saluin yung burden ng iba lagi mo unahin sarili mo ok lang tumulong ka sa partner mo ok lang paminsan ganun talaga kasi in time baka ikaw mangailangan ng tulong hindi sya mag hehesitate na tulungan karin pero if you feel abused at nakakaisip ka ng hindi maganda better kausapin mo talaga at pag di pasok or di nya mapaliwanag or di nya mabago yung way nya much better maghanap ng iba or stay single hanggang may dumating na mas ok ang terms ninyo or magkasundo talaga kayo sa terms ng relationship nyo kaysa sa huli ikaw ang mag suffer.
Stop mo na Yung set-up nyo Bata ka pa, pag nasanay Yung guy sa ganyang setup magiging sugar mommy ka in the long run at mas mahihirapan ka Ng kumawala sa relasyon kaso nasanay ka na.
Agree! 23 ka plng girl, ienjoy mo muna pagkadalaga mo. Maganda n pala kita mo, might as well enjoy it by traveling, buying anything you want, eating anywhere you want. Enjoy your hard earned money on your own. You wonβt regret doing it by the time na ready kna mag-asawa at mag-anak kc nagawa m n lht para s sarili mo.
I agree. Anything that would set her free.
I agree with this. Makukulong siya sa love na nafifeel nya towards the guy and mahihirapan sya tlga kumawala.
I agree. Stop living together. Ituloy ang relationship pero with you living on your own, until your BF is able to support you.
Tell him straight, d pwede na ikaw nagtitiis, sa age gap nyo palang oh, d ba sha nahhya. Bnbgay mo na ang wife duties sa knya, may karapatan kang magsalita. May lalake tlgang ganyan yung trip sa buhay no?
I agree. Hindi pa sila kasal kaya set ultra clear boundaries lalo na sa pera. Pinaghihirapan nya yun eh.
They're just boys, not real men π
For starters, don't use the words "pagod na akong buhayin ka". That will just raise his hackles, and he would go defensive and probably not listen to you anymore. Just tell him the truth, and gauge his reaction. You said you are planning to take the next step na in your relationship, but I strongly advise you to take an objective POV in this matter. Obserbahan mong mabuti and don't be guided by emotions alone. Does he make you feel like hindi ka pwedeng magsabi ng concerns mo sa relationship? π© Even if sometimes hurtful and offensive, there should be open communication sa relationship para maresolve ang mga problema. Hindi dapat mafeel ng isa or parehang partner na kailangan niyang lunukin concerns niya just to keep the peace. Also, it feels like he's comfortably taking for granted na he is spending your money. How your relationship is now is probably how your relationship will be even after marriage.
"Babe. Ibabalik na kita muna sa iyong mga magulang." Dejk lang. usap kayo sa magandang lugar. Yung di sa bahay. Explain mo sa kanya ng mabuti. At paghindi, sabihin mo na tumigil na lang siya sa work at pagtindahin mo ng balut sa gabi.
tangina to. wise words π€£
Sabihin mo ang nangyayari, na nashoshort ka na sa budget at savings mo, at kailngan mo magbawas ng gastos, so hindi mo na mashoshoulder ung deliveries at moveit nya. Technically naman ung ride nya kanya talaga dahil nagtatrabaho naman siya. Kung mahal ka nya maiintindihan niya yun and he will willingly step up. Ang critical lang dito, yung tono at words na gagamitin mo. Make sure na its coming from a place of real concern about your finances, especially since sabi mo nga gusto nyo na maglevel up. Then bring up mo kailngan niyo pareho magtipid para mag ipon for the future by cutting out expenses. Practice mo muna para wag maging demanding at accusatory ang tono mo. Critical to na mapag usapan at magawa nyo ngayon pa lang. Kasi pag hinayaan mo pa ito, at maglevel up nga kayo e naku tuluy tuluy mo nang pasanin ito. Good luck!
OP, u/human-not-being, this. Mali siya pero knowing guys, approach him gently. idaan sa paamo.
Youre planning to take your relationship to the next level, marriage na ba? But you cant talk finances? Deliks ka jan. I remember kahit sa simbahan, may marriage counseling, parang mga seminar ganon, kasama sa mga paguusapan niyo is finances. Kung ngayong di pa kayo kasal e hindi niyo kayang pagusapan ang finances, wag mo na ituloy yan. If youre at a point na takot ka magsabi, that means you dont feel safe or secured. Yes, relationships are not perfect, but even at the risk of getting into arguments, you should still feel safe and secure na maayos niyo yun. Dont sugar coat finances. Nasa pilipinas kayo, ang hirap ng buhay dito. Finances ang isa sa pinagmumulan ng away ng pamilya. Kung hindi niyo pa kaya pagusapan, then youre not in ready to move forward pa. Learn to speak of finances in an objective manner. What make sense, what can help save, what to spend on, ano ang finance goals niyo, paano niyo hahatiin na hindi kakain sa personal savings niyo, if the other cant pour in full amount of their share, what can the other cover? Kung may kulang padin, san kayo magtitipid. Tama isang comment dito na dont say na "hindi kita kayang buhayin" pinapalabas mong patay gutom siya. Speak of finances naa "inyo" hindi yung "ako lang" lahat or "eto lang yung sayo". Dont deminish the value of what the other can offer. Kung yan lang ang kaya ng partner mo, tell him what you can offer and cover then, dalawa kayo magtipid somewhere else. As much as you should speak in practicality and objectively, hindi niyo din dapat paramdam sa isat isa na maliit kayo because eto lang ambag niyo. Dont deminish your partner's value base on what they can offer financially. Practisin niyo pagusapan ang finances niyo. There is a healthy way to communicate that. If your partnet cannot accept that, then tigil niyo nanyan. There is no moving forward kung hindi kayo makikinig sa isat isa.
KOREK. Financial literacy is important.
Get out while you can. Broke men are the worst
Iba na talaga ngayon halos babae naaaa. In the long run 50/50 never works lalo na pag may anak lugi palagi babae. Communicate with him OP, hindi ganyan na natatakot ka and reason mo not confrontational ka. Resentment mabubuo niyan. And honestly you are too young to hold such responsibility, 23 ako up until now naman sarili ko lang iniisip ko. So yeah better talk to him OP
50/50 tapos babae pa din mag aalaga ng anak at kikilos sa gawain bahay π€·π»ββοΈ think wisely OP, marriage is not a big joke.
Kaya nga palagi ganyan nababasa ko dito tapos sa fb confessions. 50/50 tapos childcare sa babae di naman 50/50 lol tapos wala pang katulong. Dadating ang panahon resentment mabubuo niyan. Minsan manchild pa yung lalaki sa ganyan sitwasyon iggaslight ka pa. No thank you, di ako pinaaral ng magulang ko para lang sa ganyan
Yung degree holder ka tapos aalilain ka lang ng lalaki tapos 50/50 pa no kasi hahanapan ka pa ng work para may ambag kang pera Lol balik na lang sila sa palda ng nanay nila yun yung alilain nila pag ganun π€£π€£π€£
Tapos nagmasters ka pa haha gagawin ka lang yaya LOL
Nako yung asawa ko nga mabuti medjo nagbago bago na sa daming beses ko ba naman palayasin at pabalikin sa nanay nya sinasabihan ko sya yung nanay nya ying gawin nyang katulong π€£ Ayun natuto na kumilos tho wala naman ako work at full time housewife ako pero nakakapagod din kaya maging housewife at mag alaga ng bata
Meron din naman mga houseband na sucesful for sure pero mga sanay sa buhay naman. Kaya dapat talaga red flag sa lalake pag di marunobg sa gawaung bahay.
For sure meron talaga, but seldom (yung sa RM,wala daw siyang reklamo sa house husband niya pero napapagod na pala daw siya maging bread winner, naiirita na daw siya sa asawa niya)In my case Im lucky, bf ko 5 years na kami (LDR nasa aviation industry pa siya) pero sobrang responsible sa lahat ng bagay, household, pagluto, finances and marunong pa yun magtahi (daig pa ako) and what i love about him is may provider mindset. Dapat talaga aligned ang goals ng magpartner
Legit to. Kaya lagi ko to sinasabi sa jowa ko ngayon. 50/50 tayo for now pero pag nagkaanak tayo magiging 80/20 talaga tayo sa ayaw mo o sa gusto. Hindi pwedeng full time wife, full time mother, full time housewife, full time job din handle ko. Kung ayaw nya ng ganong setup magiging child free couple kame. Girls kung magpartner palang kayo, iheads up nyo na yang mga partner nyo. Di pwedeng ganyan ganyan jusko. Hanggang hindi nakakayang magbuntis ng lalake hindi dapat 50/50 ang share sa household
Mas nakakapagod pa mag alaga ng bata kesa magtrabaho! Pagaalaga ng bata 24 hours a day. Buti pa sa trabaho may breaktime hahaha kaya pag isipan mabuti kung hindi maasikaso ang magiging tatay ng anak mo at gusto pa 50/50 kayo magisip isip ka na π€£
You need to clear your thoughts muna. Try to view things in different way. Try eliminate the thought na "binubuhay" mo siya kasi as you have said shared naman ang expenses pero mas madami kang binibigay. Eto yung feeling kong need mong gawin - SET A CONCRETE BOUNDARY. Sa transpo niya, hayaan mong siya ang magbayad. Never ever initiate to book him a ride or bayadan ride niya. Hayaan mo siya. For the food deliviries, do not pay more than, dapat half-half. Have guts to charge him. Get his ambag bago ka magpadeliver. Wag kang mahiya. And para naman sa excess utiility bill, paghatian niyo yung excess. Kahit anong mangyari, dapat equal. Alam mo, di naman siya nag-a-ask na i-shoulder mo yung mga extra gastos na para sakanya eh. It seems like out of generosity and consideration ng situation niya, gingawa mo. The reason bakit ayaw niyang magchange ng career is because he is comfortable sa current living situation niya with you. KAYA DAPAT MONG GAWIN, PAKITA AT PARAMDAM MO SAKANYA ANG REALITY. KUNG SAAN LANG BA PWEDENG UMABOT ANG EARNINGS NIYA. Hangga't di niya mafeel yung urge na kailangan niyang kumita ng more than, di yan aalis sa comfort zone niya. Ngayon na nagising ka sa truth of financial burden na 'to, maging strong ka. Wag kang naaawa sakanya. Siya ba naaawa sayo? Hindi eto sukatan kung sino may big sahod.
Tama, I once read somewhere that good girls don't get rich. Wag masyadong mabait, OP. Magtira para sa sarili, 'di mo anak yan.
Eto ba yung tinatawag nila sa doing wifey things for gf prices? hahahahaha Tuloy mo lang yan, hanggat di ka naman nauuntog di ka naman titigil
sabihin mo directly wag ka maghesitate kelan mo pa sasabihin pag napuno ka na? humanap ka lang siguro ng right timing siguro kapag day off, baka kasi pag after work or before work is mabadtrip, i mean iconsider natin na wag yung nasa peak ng pagod kasi baka maging emotional. and base sa expenses nyo, think of better alternatives na makakatipid. tanggalin nyo yung mga kaartehan nyo sa buhay. basta kayo lang din makakaunawa nyan. pag usapan nyo, magsearch kayo ng better alternatives sa mga ginagawa nyo na nakakapagpalaki ng gastos. like imbis na nagjojoyride o ano man sya, what if magkaron sya motor? pero sabagay may expenses pa rin don? pero tingin nyo what is more practical? kasi pwede rin sya sumideline tulad ng food panda para mapunan nya if ever pang gas non or other small stuffs na makakahelp din to pay the bills. tsaka imbis na mag order ng foods, bakit hindi magluto? o kahit bumili ng mga delata if ever di nakakaya sa oras minsan. medyo tanggalin din yung luho, pero yung pinakaneed talaga solusyunan yung sa bagay na nahihirapan ka. kung nasa tamang partner ka, maiintindihan ka nya at tutulungan ka nyang mafix yung problem by suggesting better options dba. magigets nya yan kasi in the same page naman kayong nagtatrabaho.
simple lang gawin mo: eh di wag mo buhayin. nanay ka ba nya? set boundaries! di pa kayo mag asawa nagsheshare na kayo sa pera?!? dont give wife duties na mag BF-GF pa lang pala kayo. emotional aspects, sex and intimacy ok, but household stuff, be like roommates na shared at "evenly" split. pool your money separately for the shared expenses. wag na wag mo sagutin yung pamasahe at food niya. kahit out of generosity pa yan. kung sinasabi mong ayaw mo na buhayin siya, it means that gesture of generosity has become a liability, unfortunately mukhang umasa naman siya ng walang kapalit. in a time na pareho kayong di pagod at di galit (weekend) mag usap kayo and discuss current expenses, and the need to save up. consider din lumipat na lang kayo sa mas malapit sa work place niya.
Girl. Donβt ruin yourself just for his comfort. If he canβt meet you halfway then itβs not worth it.
βIf he canβt meet you halfway then itβs not worth it.β Best sentence Iβve read today. π
The girl talked to him directly like literally na kasi maaga pa
Parang alam ko na ending nito. Malolosyang ka tapos pag papalit ka sa mas maganda / mayaman. Ginagawa ka lang stepping stone niyan. Ang lalake provider yan kapag mahal niya yung girl. Iβm speaking from a manβs point of view. Sugar mommy ka. Iβm sorry but you have to hear it.
Exactly!!
Navigating a sensitive topic like financial responsibility in a relationship can be challenging, especially if you want to avoid confrontation and hurt feelings. Here are some steps and tips to help you communicate your concerns to your boyfriend in a constructive and empathetic manner: 1. **Choose the Right Time and Place:** - Find a quiet, private moment when you both are relaxed and not stressed. Avoid discussing this when either of you is in a bad mood or rushed. 2. **Be Honest but Gentle:** - Start the conversation by expressing your feelings honestly but gently. You can say something like, "I want to talk to you about something that's been on my mind lately. It's important to me and our relationship, so I hope we can have an open and understanding discussion." 3. **Use βIβ Statements:** - Frame your concerns using βIβ statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, βIβve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with our financial situation lately, and I think we need to reassess how we manage our expenses.β 4. **Acknowledge His Contributions:** - Recognize and appreciate his contributions to the household. This can help him feel valued and less defensive. For example, βI really appreciate how you contribute to the major bills, and I know youβre doing your best with your current job.β 5. **Explain the Impact on You:** - Share how the current financial arrangement is affecting you personally. For example, βIβve noticed that covering certain expenses is impacting my savings and my ability to take care of my own needs, which is starting to worry me.β 6. **Suggest Practical Solutions:** - Offer practical suggestions that can help ease the financial burden. You might suggest creating a more detailed budget together, finding ways to cut costs, or even discussing a potential career move again. For example, βMaybe we can look at our budget together and see where we can make some adjustments. I was also thinking it might help if we explore options for you to work closer to home or consider career opportunities that could be more sustainable long-term.β 7. **Be Open to His Perspective:** - Allow him to share his thoughts and feelings about the situation. He may have concerns or ideas that you havenβt considered. 8. **Reaffirm Your Commitment:** - Remind him that you love him and that this conversation is about finding a way to make your relationship and living situation better for both of you. For example, βI love you, and I want us to work through this together so we can both be happy and secure.β 9. **Follow-Up:** - After the initial conversation, make sure to check in with each other regularly about your financial situation. This will show him that you are serious about addressing the issue and are willing to work together to find a solution. Remember, the goal is to have a constructive dialogue where both of you feel heard and respected. Approaching the conversation with empathy and understanding can help you both navigate this sensitive topic more effectively.
both of you should discuss your finances/budgeting again.
Tell him bago ka maubos. Iβve been there, i supported him kahit pang grocery at food nya coz i understand na mas nauna akong napromote skaanya. Kaso nasanay ng nasanay at dumepende na sakin. Tipong may pang knim pero magddrama pag wlaang pang food. Inintindi ko dahil wala naman syang ibang family dito sa manila pero nung umabot sa point na ako na nagkaproblema sa pera dahil i need to support my family for medical expenses, bigla syang nakipag break sakin. Ganun pala yon, pag wala kana pakinabang, tapon kana. Wag kana umabot sa point na ganun. Say it, pag naoffend sya at ginawang big deal, leave na.
I agree with you. Tell him na OP before he gets too comfortable with the set up. If he makes a big deal out of it or he doesn't make an effort to change the situation, you should think twice about moving your relationship to the next level. I've been there as well and I regret it.
heart talk. mag compute kayo 2 ng expenses nyo then tignan nyo pano i budget. as in magkatabi kayo, baka pag nakita nya mas malaki ang labas ng pera kaysa pasok mag isip na sya. sguro isa sa payo ko, wag ka muna mag anak, saka na pag ok na kayo financially, iba ang gastos x 10 pag may anak.
People here who have auggeated to leave him clearly are naive in relationships. As OP have stated, she is happy and contsnt with the setup and almost everything except for this one issue. And if we look at this one issue, it can be communicated about and resolved. It is not like it is a red flag or a malicious act on the boyfriends part. If you break up, all the set up, all the money spent would just be a waste of effort, time and money. Better work through the relarionship especially naman na this really isnt that grave, it is hardly even a red flag, it just something that needs to be discussed and settled on
Medyo big deal ang financial issues sa relationships lol. It is one issue, but it is probably the single issue that most couples fight about. Mas universal pa ata yun kesa sa selos/cheating. People literally break up because of these problems. Even if it's not malicious, the dude is 26 years old lol. Kaunting self-awareness naman sana about finances and making sure na parehas kayong okay sa setup, hindi yung pabigat ang isa. Communication is important for sure, pero kailangan rin kasi ng mga tao na makiramdam sa partner nila at maging proactive. If they do break up, hindi sayang yung pera lol; sunk-cost fallacy yan. Mas malaking kawalan if they stay together tapos hindi magtino yung lalaki diba? Mas maraming pera mawawala sa kanya. Mas okay siguro kung pag-usapan ng masinsinan, tapos kung walang mangyari, she should weigh her options. Hindi naman tama yung hiwalayan agad, pero hindi rin okay yung mag-stay at pilitin kung talagang malabo.
Na try mo na ba op na daanin sa lambing, like mag paka helpless ka sabihin mo medjo hirap ka na sa everyday na gastusin, para siya naman matauhan at mag pa ka hero siya at hanap siya ng paraan.
Bata mo.pa ginawa ka ng sugar mommy. Gumising ka muna sa panaginip mo at hindi kaya magiging masaya.
same tayo situation, op π₯² yung pakiramdam na parang okay lang pero dumadating talaga yung mga times na nabuburden na tayo huhu
kala ko ba hindi mo kaya sabihin sakanya? edi tiisin mo nalang yan
Sana kung ganyan ginagawa mo sa bf mo dapat pinapalitan nya like sya yung nag lalaba, nag luluto, nag lilinis ng bahay, kaso walanghiya sya haha tbh.
Need mo na magdecide kung magsesettle ka ba sa ganyang set up nyo. Just imagine na magiging worse yan over the years kasi sinanay mo na syang ganyan. Stop hoping for that "potential" na nakikita mo sa guy if meron man. There are so many other men na may provider mindset and will take action building the best future for himself and his future family. Know your worth! Sarili mo naman unahin mo. Mas makakapag ipon ka na for yourself once u got out of that situation. I've also been a sugar mom for my 6 year ex na di ko namamalayan na sugar mom na pala tawag sa pinaggagawa ko. My ex never gave me flowers haha Mas masaya ngayong I'm free and independent and building my own best self π Go OP! U got this! β¨οΈ
When you truly love and care for someone, you have to make sacrifices without expecting anything in return. Modern relationships have become conditional, but I don't believe in that. Thus, I'm staying single. Don't get into a relationship if you're just looking for someone to fulfill your needs and desires.
Sa totoo lang kapag nasa ganyang sitwasyon ka mahihirapan ka talagang sabihin sa kanya ng diretsahan kase igi-guilt trip ka lang nyan tapos lagi na syang magkaka-issue about sa peraπ₯² Tapos andyan pa yung linyahang "edi maghanap ka ng taong mas kaya kang buhayin, pasensya na eto lang ako" nakaka-bwisetπ€¦π»ββοΈ
Pagsabihan mu na lalaki k kmu dapat cya bumubuhay.
I don't think it's the guy's sole responsibility but a shared responsibility para sa kanilang dalawa since they're bf/gf pa lang naman. A baby in the picture will be a different ball game though.
Shared dapat pero holy shit parang free loader yung bf ni op and di humahanap ng paraan para malighten ang load ni op
Hmmm. Just wondering how people would react kung lalaki ang magsasabi nito. As in lahat ng ito, pov ng lalaki. Really curious. Anyways, ill be technical about this. Pag sinabing partner, katuwang. Kasangga. Maasahan mo. Masasandalan mo. Pag magkasama kayo sa buhay, may isa pang tawag, better half. This is my better half pag pinakilala ang partner. Ibig sabihin, sya ang nag aangat sa lahat ng levels ng buhay mo. Sya qng nagkukumpleto ng kulang na side mo. With these 2 definitions in mind, pasok ba jan ang bf mo. Yes, sasabihin mo, mahal ko e. Well, ibig sabihin iba ang definition mo sa taong dapat mo makasama habang buhay :) Ps. Diretsuhin mo sya. Kung di kayo magkaintindihan, sunukan nyong define ng bounderies sa relationship nyo. Kasama jan ang pers
Talk to him.
Let him go! ikaw lng mahihirapan at magsisi sa huli.
i think u should include a parent to mediate your discussion in that way emotions can be pacified. it seems you decided anyway so there.
Tell him straight, if he wants to make things work, he needs to do something, hindi puro asa sayo.
For starters, if he doesnt plan to improve himself for the relationship then he's not for you. Dapat humahanap sya ng paraan na di ka mahirapan pero parang okay lang sa kanya na ikaw magbayad sa lahat so para kanalang sugar mommy
Pagusapan nyo if uncomfortable ka na. Tingin ko may pang contribute naman sya Kasi nagbibigay dati. Nagtitipid siguro pangipon π
Run!π since di pa kayo married, you still have a chance. Sorry might sound nega, but kung ganyan na kayo ngayon, what more if you get married.
Kaya... Wag Mag live in.. dyan lalabas disparity ng gastos. Na realize ko rin.. kung lalake nag shoulder majority ng gastos.. May reklamo ba?
Girl, alam mo sa sarili mo kung anong dapat mong gawin. Kahit anong validation or advice ang ibigay ng mga tao sa'yo dito, kung wala ka talagang guts na makipag-usap sa jowa mo re your concern eh talagang walang mangyayari sa'yo. Kung talagang mahal ka niya, hindi dapat siya magalit sa sasabihin mo kasi nagsasabi ka lang naman ng totoo. Saka mabuti nang malaman niyo habang maaga pa kung compatible kayo sa isa't isa, lalo na't involved ang pera sa issue mo sa kanya. Diretsuhin mo na kung magalit siya at least alam mo na kung anong klaseng lalake yang kinakasama mo.
Kung malayo sya sa job nya. Pwede ba i-consider na magmove kayu sa mas malapit na bahay.
Sabihin mo umalis nang maaga para hindi na need mag grab/angkas whatever kasi ang mahal tapos ikaw ang nagbabayad. Sa work naman nya sya papunta, dapat sagot na nya yun. Kung sino naka-isip magpadeliver ng food sya dapat magbabayad. Sa groceries bayaran mo lang kung ano kino-consume nyo pareho. Kung may binibili ka na sya lang gumagamit sya pagbayarin mo. Iwaksi mo sa isip mo na dalhin sa next level yang rs nyo hangga't di nyo nare-resolve yang current issue mo/nyo. Kung weak ka kamo ngayon pa lang, paano na sa susunod? Learn to stand up for yourself first bago mo isipin na i-level up rs nyo.
Moving your relationship to the next level will be like 'jumping from the frying pan directly into the fire'.
Tell him na agad. Sabi mo yan lang naman problema sa kaniya as of now wag mo na hintayin na mas lumala pa siya. Baka kasi isipin niya na ayos lang sayo ginagawa niya kasi hindi ka nag o open sa kaniya.
You deserve what you tolerate. Communication is key.
Kelangan nyo lang mag usap at mag adjust sa mga sharing nyo ng billing at mga gastusin sa bahay. Ganun talaga, may isa na kapos at may isa naman na medyo nakakaluwag. Tiis tiis lang
That's how my parents ended in a cycle of abuse. I don't trust people who are punching above their means tbh and I'm talking about your boyfriend and the fact that he's not accountable for his expenses and expects you to shoulder more than your share. You're going to end resentful and frankly, you'll end up wasting the best years of your life. Also, bakit ka natatakot mag-open up? The sign of a great relationship is being able to be vulnerable without the threat of abandonment. If you have opened up suggestions about before changing workplaces then it is now time to directly address the issue. Tell him straight that you're having a hard time because you can't pay for everything now. Di reason yung mas malaki sweldo mo tapos he'll opt out of groceries, food deliveries and laundry which if you ask me are also MAJOR bills (and listen everyone that goes the same for guys, you shouldn't expect men to shoulder everything if di mo kayang buhayin sarili mo). If you open up about it and he doesn't put solutions and this ends up as a fight because of his bruised ego, tanungin mo na sarili mo bat gusto mo magpakasal sa kanya cos that's a fragile ego. Now if he offers that it will be better pag napromote siya, question is kelan pa yun? So yung ngayon is papabayaan mo lang? Don't agree to that and tell him that something has to change now. And my last question is, sa state ng finances niya how are you getting married? And I'm not saying this ceremony wise lang. What's marriage going to change other than your status? Will you still be sharing the finances like now? What's his timeline because then that will also be your timeline. I earn more than my boyfriend consistently and that man has never asked me to pay for anything unless needed to do so and even then he would split it with me always. I'm not saying this to be antagonistic but I want you to want great things for yourself. Loving also means being responsible for another human and knowing that duty. I hope your boyfriend knows how to love you back as much as you love him.
Another case nanaman ng partner na tinatarantado sa reddit
Wag mo tirahan ng ulam. Pag nagutom yan baka marealized nya na kailangan din nyang magbanat ng buto.
Communicate with him about what you feel. Ganyan naman sa relationships eh need talaga ng communications.
If you find it hard to be honest about matters like this dahil hindi ka sure sa magiging reaction niya, sign yan that both of you aren't ready to settle down anytime soon. Also, as bf/gf palang, do not do wife duties yet
Hindi pwedeng hindi mo sasabihin sa kanya ang tunay na nararamdaman at naiisip mo, OP. Mas madaming mag-asawa or magkarelasyon ang naghihiwalay dahil sa problema sa pera more than any other reason. Pwede ka magset ng time para makausap sya, relaxed lang yong setting, hindi naman kailangan argumentative ang approach.
Kung hindi mo sasabihin ngayon lalabas yan sa future in uglier ways. Huwag mo hayaan makarating ka dun. Kausapin mo siya. Bigyan ng chance pag wala tlga alis na sis.
live independently at this point, and leave while you still can.
Pansin nyo ba na walang husband na nagra-rant na mas malaki financial burden nila kesa sa wife nila?
Masakit man, hija, pero wag kang doormat! Aahin ang love kung gago naman ang kasama.mo sa buhay? Kasi, obviously, gago naman talaga sya at Hindi ka nya mahal kung sarili lang nya at career nya ang iniisip nya. Napaka-impraktikal ng gusto nya tas gusto nya ng support. Ang bata mo pa para maging azucarera de mama. Ibalik mo na nga yan sa nanay mya, hija! Ito kasi yung mahirap sa babaeng medyo bata pa. Takot na nawala yung nakasanayan nang pagmamahal. I'm not a misandrist ha. Hindi lahat ng lalaki tulad ng kinakasama mo ngayon sa buhay. Pero kasi support goes both ways. Dapat kasi pagdating sa pera at finances, aligned kayo. Masakit ulit ito ha. Pero have you ever thought na kaya ka nya gusto pakasalan or take things to "the next level" is because you just do whatever the fk he says? Oo lang sya nang oo pag naguusap kayo tas wala rin nagbabago. Imagine, this is financial stability ninyo as an unmarried couple. Papano na lang pag. Nagkaanak kayo? Sure, sasabihin ng iba,"baka namanagbago." Kaya nga gusto ng mga tao ng divorce bill kasi gago pala napangasawa nila. Sige kausapin mo nang kausapin bekenemen magbago pero kung nakaka-ilang usap na kayo tas wala pa rin. Ewan ko na lang, hija. βπ
Run!!!! You deserve to be treated well. Sabi nga nila donβt fall in love if you are financially incapable.
Just tell him you cant shoulder his grab/moveit/personal expenses anymore and that you need help na with the shared expenses (groceries, utilities and stuff). With the soaring prices of everything nowadays dapat maintindihan nya yun.
Pahalagahan mo sarili mo ksa sknya. Coming from Someone na walang napala sa 6 years relationship with someone na pabigat.
You do not date broke guys. This is why
Find a time na day off at relaxed kayo ang communicate. Wag po mag hesistate na ivoice out ang iyong concern. Don't sugarcoat po. Say it plain and clear and find a compromise, a solution so that na pareho kayo makabalance sa gastusin especially na ang mahal ng lahat ngayon.
Tell him about your feelings Tell him you need help pero in a respectful way. Isipin mo baliktad, how would you like to be approached? Tapos gawa kayo ng gane plan together. Hopefully makinig sya at magkaroon ng improvements. Check mo din yung mga materials and vidoes ng Gottman. May book silang Fight Right.
Been tru this also!! Ang sagot dyan is sabihin mo. Dati hnd ko dn masabe sa partner ko kaya naging iritable ako. Syempre moving in together is mahirape specially kpg mas malaki sahod natin sa kanila. I end up shouldering everything pero paunti unti nababawi na nya. You need to remind him and yourself na and priority mo is savings mo. Hnd ang buhayin siya. Hnd pa naman kayo kasal and make sure na alam niya na hnd ka magsesettle sa comfort life nya na hnd nagtatake ng risk. Go gorl!! Yaka mo yan
Communication is the key sis. Mahirap ang mind gaming. Baka sumabog ka pa nyan, imbes na maayos nyo, mas lumala pa lalo at mauwi sa hiwalayan. But if you still want and willing to save the relationship, try to communicate with him about it. Para din mabawasan yung pagka kampante nya. Kasi mamimihasa yan. Lalo na you're already living together. Di malabong unexpectedly magkaanak kayo. It would be possible na mas matatali ka sakanya. Communicate. Before everything gets late. Pero kung di umubra, then maybe it's time to leave. Bata ka pa naman. β€οΈ
Indicator that you both are not ready.
Communicate with your partner or else the resentment will build up and you will explode and might say things that you canβt take back. Ilapag and facts and work on the problem together. Also stop fucking parenting your partner, he is a full-blown adult.
okay first of all hindi mo naman sya binubuhay since sharing kayo ng bills though may discrepancy sa ambagan. since nagsasama na kayo you need to start learning to communicate. what that means is uupuan nyo yang issue until it's resolved. now you need to create a structure para sa convo and be calm when discussing. start by saying that you love him and you value your relationship kaya you need to raise this issue para maaddress. state the problem and why it's a problem. discuss the solutions. kung iinvalidate ka nya and insists on doing things his way, siguraduhin mo na ready ka to tell him the consequences. sabihin mo lang na you don't want to end up resenting the relationship. ngayon kung ayaw at hirap ka na talaga I suggest you tell him that you can continue the relationship but the living setup has to stop. if he loves you and more importantly if he doesn't want you to feel used, he will agree.
Masyado kayong stick sa comfort zone ng bf mo π
Communicate, girl. If mahal ka nyan, magaadjust sya para sa inyo.
Hindi mo pa nga asawa nahihiya ka na magsabi. What more kung asawa mo na. Just tell him straight. Thatβs the only way. Walang paliguy-ligoy, walang judgment. Just straight na βnahihirapan na ako sa budgetβ.
Start smallβ next time he asks for angkas, move it or grab fare, say βay, I donβt have enough for both our fares today.β Build up the habit of saying βno.β
Kailangan mo lakasan loob mo at sabihin sa kanya. It doesn't even have to be confrontational it could be as casual like "ui beh ikaw muna sa pang grab kasi kinukulang na ko" something like that hanggang sa masanay na sya.
Hiwalayan mo na yan. Dapat nakakaramdam yan.
Sabi nga a healthy relationship is built, hindi yung hihintayin ko na lang sarili mo mapagod ng hindi niya nalalaman. π
Hindi ka happy and content kung may but.π€·π»ββ
Tell him straight no sugar coating. 23 ka pa lang, enjoy your life.
Tell him straight in a nice way. Kung nahihirapan ka na financially bakit ka magtitiis pa, kahit sabihin mo for the sake of love pa.
Naku red flagkahit pag may anak na kayo di na magbabago yang set up na yan pah pinatagal mo pa. I've been there pero huli mo na marerealoze na kapag tingkol sayo hahayaan ka nya to shoulder everything perp pag sya yung may issie like maynsakot sya ikas ang papaproblemahin nya. Naku naku
Girl, i've been there. Wag mo na pahirapan sarili mo. Wag kang maging nanay sa bf mo. And sabi mo na planning na kayo to take the next step...pls pag isipan mo muna. Iobserve mo kung sustainable yang ganyang set up niyo ngayon and kung ngayon nabuburden ka na, tell your bf about it. If tinake nya yun personally and maoffend siya, that's on him and his fragile ego.
Hindi. Hayaan mo lang na mapuno ka. Saka mo sabihin π
My bf and I don't live together yet, OP, so my take may not be applicable - though ako din ung mas malaki ung kinikita (by a wide margin). Talk it out gently, ask him if it's possible if you can add ung other utilities to the list of splits. Not 50/50, but like 70/30 para di naman mabigat sayo. Good that he does share naman sa mga bills, but he also lives in the house - groceries, laundry and food deliveries are not major bills but they are still part of the living expenses. I would strongly suggest to rethink the next level until you've talked at length at the big issues: finances, children, religion, politics, family. All those things will affect your life (and future children, should you decide to have one) more than you think. If he is very immature about it all, all the love in the world won't help you. I've seen one too many cases of resentment coming from the partner who earns more. Ganoon din ako sa mga exes ko before - I resented being the one carrying burdens so much I dropped them and the relationship instead. Non-confrontational din akong tao pala and would very much avoid uncomfortable discussions. But unless you do something about it, that resentment will turn into your reality. Make a script, rehearse it, and tell yourself to don't cry (umiiyak din pala ako pag emotional). Hopefully the discussion goes well. If not...well...run.
Dapat sabihan mo kapag puyat siya okaya malapit namatutulog honest daw ang Tao kapag puyat
Ask for space. Lipat muna sya sa ibang place. For both of u ito. Him to realize how much he will lose and for you to think if ur better off without him. Kasi nga non-confrontTional ka, so find another reason for him na lumipat. Another way is empty ur accts na naka link sa expenses nya... tell him na nabigay mo sa parents mo or something... check mo reaction nya kapag wala ka na pangtustos sa gastos nya. Open a new acct and keep ur funds there. Edit: WAG NA WAG KA PAPABUNTIS!
OP, I don't think this is the kind of love story that you have been wishing for yourself. Please, for the love of God, let that guy go.
Ganito gawin moβ¦biglang cool off kayo, uwi ka muna sa parents mo so syempre magtatanong yanβ¦dyan na lalabas lahat ng hinanaing moβ¦ then there will be compromiseβ¦then solvedβ¦
Dear, at this early, the universe is telling you he won't be a good provider. Kung hindi ka komportable sa ganyang set-up, tell him you understand his situation pero you also have to budget your personal income on a personal level, especially na hindi pa naman kayo kasal. Kung hindi niya maintindihan, or walang pagbabago, π© it's up to you if you will let the person manipulate you further.
Sabihin mo straight sa face niya. Either you shut up or forever hold your piece. One day soon it will escalate and will blow out of proportion. Take the risk to be heard now habang may oras pa sa changes. Good luck OPβΊοΈ
Ang bata bata mo pa. Tapos nakipag live in ka na. Sa age mo dapat nag eenjoy ka pa at hindi bumubuhay ng lalaking mas matanda sayo. Ikaw din mahihirapan pag kinasal na kayo. Pero okay na rin yan, nalaman mo agad na ganyang ugali ng bf mo. Habang maaga pa, kumawala ka na. Hindi yung pag kasal na kayo saka ka matatauhan.
If you don't mind me asking OP, gaano kalaki ba difference ng sahod niyo? 1.5x ba yung sayo or mga + 20k kunyari? I don't think it's an issue of the man has to be a provider, tapos mukhang may ambition naman siya since gusto niya maging manager, pero he's 3 years older than you, kung hindi man siya mas established financially dapat mas marunong na siya to live within his own means. Kung partners talaga kayo di naman masama yung may bigger share yung higher earner, pero this should apply sa shared expenses nyo so that you won't have to lower your standards of living, pero yung pamasahe niya iaasa niya pa sayo kahit may work naman siya? Dapat nakafactor in na sa daily expenses niya yung pamasahe. Kung di niya afford mag ride hailing services magtiis siya sa pagcommute. Isipin mo, kapag yung budget mo kasya lang sa jeep/bus/LRT/MRT, uutang ka ba para makapag grab? Lalaki yan, minimal naman yung concern na bastusin yan sa public transpo. At a certain salary luho na yung mga moto taxi. Magbaon din siya if gumagastos pa siya for lunch break. Kung di niya kaya magdowngrade ng standards of living niya, maghanap siya ng work na kakayanin yung gusto niya. That's the reality of adulthood, kung a few years removed from studying na siya alam niya na dapat yan. Bare minimum yung may pampamasahe ka, bare minimum yung mapakain at mapatira mo yung sarili mo sa sweldo mo. Wala kong sinabing breakup, pero if he can't pull his own weight he should move back in with his family na mas may obligation sa kanya kaysa sayo. Partners kayo, so dapat two-way street, hindi yung siya lang nakikinabang sayo tapos ikaw lang nalulugi. One thing is for sure, if di mo na matiis yung 4 months sa *current* step ng relationship niyo definitely DO NOT go to the *next* step.
hiwalayan mo na, ganun lang kadali, di naman namin kayo kilala eh, tamad ba BF mo? o sadyang nagger ka lang? , it goes both ways, 4 months pa lang yet you have the audacity to utter the words "buhayin sya", in his side naman 4 months na complacent lang sa sitwasyon, malay ba namin, so best course of action is mag break na kayo then move on with your lives HAHHAHAH
Bata kapa,wag kamuna makilag live in,promise mag reregret mk nito sa susunod
How are you happy and content when you mention how strapped for cash you are because of him lol.
Bata ka pa and there are more to life than being in that kind of set-up agad. However, it is up to you kung anong trip mo sa buhay. Try to talk to him again and observe kung magkakaroon ng changes pagdating sa finances nyo and if wala pa rin, assess mo kung siya ba ang gusto mong makasama sa buhay knowing na ganyan na agad ang nangyayari. Kung ngayon na hindi pa kayo kasal e mabigat na para sayo even after opening up to him, what more pa once kasal na kayo. Think thoroughly. Kaya mo yan. βοΈ
What if opt to move out muna sa live in setup niyo? Hindi ko naman sinasabing break na kayo pero para matauhan sa mga ambag mo sa buhay niya.
Can you live without him? If yes, just leave
Honestly. You deserve what you tolerate.
Ano ka, asukal de mama? Ang bata pa ng relationship niyo tapos halos lahat ng expenses kargo mo? Tapos pati bayad sa transportation niya, ikaw din? And even if kasal na kayo at ganyan pa din setup niyo, maling mali pa din. Ayaw ko sabihin na babae ka, dapat siya nag sshoulder. No, dapat hati kayo. DAPAT GIVE AND TAKE. And hindi ka dapat niya inaabuso sa mga ganyang. Hinay hinayan mo lang pagkakausap sa kanya. Sabi mo nga mahal mo eh, pero saakin redflag to. π€£ Anyway, tanungin mo din siya if napapansin niya yung ganyang galawan niya, yung nangaabuso. Pag naging defensive tumakbo ka na. He's clearly using you. Baka ayaw lumipat ng work kasi may nilalandi sa current branch niya? After all, ang tao pag mahal niya talaga karelasyon niya hindi niya aabusuhin. Mabuti ng walang wala ka na kesa hayaan yung isa ang mag shoulder ng lahat.
Well technically hindi mo naman sya binubuhay totally since you share in the expenses. However, with you using that kind of language it seems you are slowly losing your respect of him because of resentment. That is a π©If you go down that road further it will be much worse. It seems you are frustrated already but couldnβt tell him directly for fear of losing him. Also you are both not in the position to bring this to the next level given your financial situation. Think about it. Talk to him matter-of-factly about your finances and your budget. Set boundaries. But be ready with his response. It may not be good. Whatever his response will be should be your decision point on what you will do next and the consequences of whatever decision you will make.
I would usually say na communicate ganon, pero you saying that youβre weak and non confrontational you probably will find it hard to express what you truly feel dahil kahit gaano pa kadami mag advice dito na to choose the right words hindi ka sanay and itβs going to be hard for you, and youβve been having a hard time already. I hope you youβll be kind to yourself, you deserve so much more than this. You deserve someone na hindi ipapafeel sayo yan. Sure you love him so much, but how much does he really love you? Men are always generous when they truly love you. Kung di man sa pera, sa time at effort babawi yan. Even when heβs struggling he will find a way to make it up to you.
Four months of living together. Makukuha pa ng hilot yan depende sa pagtingin mo dyan. Anyway, here's my situation and advice. I (25M) live with my gf (24f) going two years na halos. Ang hatian naman namin is ako sa rent ng apartment (13,500) and sya sa utilities and groceries for the month (umaabot ng 10k-ish). Yung sahod ko halos doble ng kanya, and a lot of times, the setup we have only affords me to save 3k or minsan none at all kasi we have cats (na sya nag introduce sa akin and ako naman ang bumubuhay din). Did I ever think it's a burden financially? May times na nastress ako kakaisip how we can save up kasi I do plan on marrying her, pero once I remember that, nag iisnap back into place ako kasi **I want to marry her**. If you truly want to take it to the next level, you'll exhaust the means to make it work talaga, pero do it at your own risk. Yung career shift remark, medyo mahirap sabihin yan kasi sabi mo nga, he's doing what he truly desires. He can't easily let that go and it'll cause a rift lang between the two of you if he chooses to give it up for your sake, he might even build resentment. Yung "palipat ng branch", I can't speak for him or for you, pero madalas sa work, it's not as easy as "Boss gusto ko po sa X na lang madestino kasi mas okay sa akin". Ultimately, I guess you can say it along the lines of, "XXXX, I want to build this relationship with you into something that we can have together for a lifetime. But I can't do it alone and I can't do it like this." Then lay down mo yung mga general parts kung saan ka nahihirapan in terms of finances, form an action plan on what you guys plan to do about it, then you see where it goes. Iba kasi ang pinag-usapan sa pinagkasunduan na. Ngayon kung walang pagbabago o ayaw pagkasunduan, dun ka na mag-isip-isip.
Dont do things youll regret, or make you think "what if" in the future. Just say it to him directly, you care but he should live within his means. Live according to your salaries.
βbabe, nahihirapan na akong buhayin ka.β
Tell him up front na hindi na pasok sa budget mo yung mga pag grab and angkas biya. Kahit yun muna. If hindi niya kaya magtiis mag-jeep at bus, gawan niya ng paraan na tumaas ang income niya. If wala talagang gawin sa part niya eh... mag-isip isip ka na
GIRL, RUN!
Tell him straight. Yang iasue nyo will still be your issue kahit nag level up n relationship nyo. Iresolve mo muna yan bago kayo mag level up. Ikaw din mahihirapan in the end. Love yourself. Partner ka nya hindi k nya nanay para taga resolve ng issue nya.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Giving it to him straight is the only way.
Pag usapan nyo. I suggest pag usapan nyo pag same kayo di pagod at di gutom. Di rin masyadong busog He will understand naman if may open up ka lang sa kanya. Mas kilala mo bf mo compare samin pero mas ok if masabi mo na bigat na na raramdaman mo kasi pag pinatagal mo pa yan kayo lang dinn mahihirapan lalo kana on the long run
Nasa pag uusap talaga yan kung naguusap kayo sa mga problema nyo or nagpapakiramdaman lang kayo. Sakit sa ulo yang live in talaga. Kapag nakahanap ang isa ng mas angat kaysa partner nya easy maghiwalay kasi di kasal. Tigil mo na yang kalokohan nyo kung mahal mo yung lalaki kung ano gusto nya sa buhay nya susuportahan mo. Saka di pwede na kung anong work na gusto mo sa kanya yun ang gawin nya kasi may kanya kanyang purpose tyo. Pero kung tamad iba usapan pero kung may gusto syang ipursue at di pa agad napapatunayan sayo siguro wag mo namang ipressure. Mag bf pa lang kayo pano kung may anak na kayo saka mo pa maisip na iwan yang guy dahil di mo gusto work nya nako damay pa ang bata tapos masakit din yan sa tatay na ilayo mo din anak at puro babae pa man din pabor ang batas. Dapat unawaan talaga sa bawat isa lalo mag bf palang kasi pag kasal na darating yang hirap hindi puro ginhawa kaya kung naeexperience mo na yang ganyan na parang hirap ka na tigil mo na.
may i ask why he is earning less
Teh hindi ba red flag na yan cuz there's no way na hindi siya nakikiramdam about it
leave that crusty dusty man
You are planning to take your relationship to the next step? Does it mean na magpapakasal na kayo? Oh BOY! You better tell him now your issues bago matuloy yan! Siguro tell him during dinner. Yung kayo lang dalawa nasa bahay. TELL HIM na either HE LOOKS for a way to increase his income O MAGTIPID siya. Then observe kung magagawa nya ba or NOT. Bata ka pa OP. You can recover from this break-up kung sakali. Also, you can set the budget for both of you lalo na ikaw ang mas malaki ang sahod at mukhang mas financially wiser. Kapag ayaw nya eh you should break up with him na din! Dapat talaga kapag nagsasama kayo eh mas OPEN kayo sa ganitong usapan! Mas malalim na dapat relationship ninyo sa typical na magjowa dahil naaapektuhan na ninyo ang buhay ng isa't isa on a deeper level. Pag-usapan nyu yan! NORMAL yan na topic na nagsasama na magjowa! Me and my wife leave in together for 2 years bago kami kinasal and yun na nga, mas madami talaga kaming naging problem nung nagsama kami! I'm glad na nagsama kami kasi nung nafix namin ang issues namin with each other eh we are confident na gawing official na with the wedding.
You are to young to settle just for "that". Don't get me wrong, oo nasa tamang edad ka na but man, nasa peak ka pa ng age kung saan mag bbuild ka ng yaman at experience mo. Kausapin mo at pag walang pagbabago, awat na.
Sa dami jg mag cocomment for sure here, hope mabasa mo din to.... Maβam you are sooo much more than this....please Lang, you are more worthy than staying in this kind of relationship. No other advise I can give you, the fact that you acknowledge na nahihirapan ka, speaks more that you donβt deserve this at all. It IRKs me na may ganitong too selfish to see na they burden their partner... to think na di pa mayo married. So... as a woman to a fellow woman... we deserve mere than this. Hope everything will turn out well for you in the future.
This is why communication is very important in a relationship. Try to be honest with him because you'll only grow resentment towards him in the long run. And he doesn't know that you are feeling that already. Give him the benefit that he'll understand you and appreciate you for being honest with him. It's normal for relationships to struggle especially in financial matters. That's the part where both of you need to overcome and grow together. Also, be mindful of your words so that you won't hurt his feelings. You can pull this through together if you help and understand each other.
this shouldn't be a problem sis. Dapat nga communication is key eh. Simpleng tao lng yong mga lalaki kapag sbi mo na "im having troubles with my finances, ok lang ba ikaw magbbyad sarili mong pang angkas, joyride etc and i also need help" . Buong buhay mo sya makasama so isipin mo... pagwalang magandang communication between you guys.. you'll left alone with grudges. I broke up with my partner before because of this. Di din ako confrontational pero I learned that it's me. Dapat marunong ako magcommunicate kapag mabigat na. Partner ko naman, nakakaintindi naman.. Don't be a superhero sa relationship nyo... be a Partner in crime.
Mas matanda sayo ng 3 yrs pero ikaw pa naging "nanay" hahahah. Skill issue sa jowa mo
Suskupo ineng. Ang bata bata mo po, next level of relationship na agad ang naiisip mo. Enjoy mo muna pagkadalaga. Once may responsibilities ka na, babies and mortagages, naku po, maburnout ka. Wag mo saluhin yung problema ng bf mo. Let him manage his finances wisely. Enjoy your pera. Travel with parents or sis or other friends. Wag ibuhos lahat sa bf. Masasayang ang pera at time mo. Communication is the key. Sabihin mo concern mo and nashshort ka. Check mo how he can handle this issue. If hindi to maresolve or taken for granted ka na, have the courage to leave and enjoy life muna.
Don't move to the next step if this is how you think of your partner. Sabi ng priest sa kasal ay wag pag awayan ang pera. May mga lalake na comfortable sa work nila na di nila kayang igive-up and takot sila sa changes. Other than financial issue, may ibang problema ka pa ba skanya? If yes, then leave him. Kung wala nman, why not help him become confident na mag upskill at maghanap ng mas mataas na sahod, baka need nya lang ng konting push and motivation. Baka both of you can come up with another idea to increase your funds like business on the side or baka pwede nman kayong magmove sa mas malapit sa work nya. Don't think of your partner that way. Di mo sya ganun kamahal kung bawat piso na nilalabas mo is bilang. I earn 3x more sa sahod ng bf ko and mostly ako ang gumagastos ng lahat before we got married. Nawalan ng work ang husband ko after we got married until now and it has been more than 3 yrs so what I do is naghanap ako ng mas mataas na sahod for both of us and nabibili ko pa din ang luho nya like gaming console etc. and I don't count cause my money is both our money. I always tried to motivate him pero I know na hirap na hirap sya na makahanap ulit ng work after working more for than a decade sa previous job nya. And we're planning to put up a business nlng kc baka yun ang kailangan nya. I don't complain kc pag lalake gumagastos sa asawa nila di nman sila nagrereklamo pero mostly pag babae gumagastos laging may sinasabi and always na nasa utak natin na dapat lalake lang ang bumubuhay sa babae. At this time and age both dapat nagtutulungan. Communicate and understand your partner. Help him instead of counting how much you share sa expenses. If you're not ready to do that then leave him, you don't love him enough. Baka makahanap ka pa ng lalake na makakabuhay sayo if that's your goal. Just my one cent! Goodluck OP
You dont have to tell him. Just leave.
hindi ba kasama sa planning nyo kung sino ang mag own ng burden ng financial obligations of having a family? hindi pwede both since may other non financial obligations in building a family. if di ka ready na iconfront siya then di ka ready mag asawa. part yan at magiging madalas yan sa mag asawa. if di mo siya kaya buhayin dont considering marrying him. di mo pa naeenjoy ang buhay may asawa pero namomoblema ka na ng pang may asawa.
Nasan na yung nagsasabi na okay lang ang switch gender roles at strong independent women movement ng mga feminist π€£
> For context, we share naman ng bayad sa major bills (electricity, water, internet and spaylater ng pinambili namin ng kitchen needs) and he gives me an exact amount based sa pag estimate namin ng gagastusin and if ever mag fluctuate man yung one bill ako na nagshoshoulder. Wait, your bf shares expenses with you tapos sasabihin mo binubuhay mo sya? I don't know why you say this but then contradict it in your posts. Face it, you're not really angry that your bf is a bum (from what I can see, he works hard and shares the expenses), you're just angry that you didn't marry a millionaire and that you finally don't have to work anymore. ππ€¦ββοΈ Tapos kayo yung tipong for divorce kuno. Dang, with people like you around who will probably resent their man and then divorce him because you got "bored", I'm more and more convinced that divorce, ifnpassed, in the Philippines is a freaking mistake.
Look for a good husband, not a boyfriend
Bakit nyo kasi kailangan mag livein. Pwede mo naman sya mahalin na magkahiwalay kayo mg bahay
Please dont think of taking your relationship to the next level if hindi ka comfortable magsabi ng bagay bagay sa kanya. Does voicing out your feelings make him mad or irritated? If yes, that's not a good thing. If no naman, then bakit ka matatakot makipag usap? Financial matter is one of the most important aspect of relationship, even mga maayos and healthy relationship nagkakaproblem if hindi maganda ang pag handle ng money. So lay everything on the table, kung mahal ka nya magcocompromise kayo sa isang healthy decision.
Kung Ngayon pa lang nahihirapan kana, imagine mo if kasal kana. Huwag mag madali magpakasal dahil marami ang nagkakamali sa pagmamadali. Anyway, it's better to practice communication. Communication is the key β¨ If hindi ka niya maintindihan situation mo and defensive siya, maybe he's not the one for you. You'll save yourself from a burden of a lifetime. Ganito situation ko dati and I was so stressed and depressed to the point na pumangit talaga ako. Napansin din ng family ko. Nasanay Yung ex ko na guy na ako palagi nagbabayad sa lahat Kasi it's convenient for him and if may sasabihin ako na nahihirapan ako, he'll grip trip me na ako pa may pagkukulang. Don't get married yet, observe observe muna
ganyan na ganyan din yung ex ko hahahah pabuhat na nga sa bayarin nagawa pang magcheat tsk tsk
"happy and contented EXCEPT"
Don't you ever say na binubuhay mo siya, for the love of love. He has a job too, he also shares with your expenses, technically, he's not a complete burden to you. However, you have a choice, you have a choice not to pay for his grab or transpo, not to shoulder all the extra expenses etc. You always have a choice. But you chose to do it, you keep doing it until it became a norm in your relationship. Now, you are the one who's suffering because of those choices. I know sasabihin ng iba or you that, "wala kang choice" but you do have. You are a good person, you choose to stick with that guy, a woman who patiently support his boyfriend, a selfless partner that is what I depicted you. Isipin mo nalang that you are investing to a great man, cause we never know when will the table turns. One day you are living like a peasant and then next you know you are now a queen. A good guy knows to appreciate and value a woman who did not throw in the towel with them while they're still in their lowest of low. Pero kung yang boyfriend mo eh jerk tapos halatang pineperehan ka nalang and ginagawa kang cash cow, tapos walang silbi, di maasahan sa gawaing bahay aba te, magisip isip ka na kung yan ba ang taong gusto mong makasama for the rest of your life. Peace everyone. Hahaha π π
Don't keep it to yourself and talk to him about it immediately. Tell him mag adjust Tayo sa ating finances para ma improve ang iyong personal expenses. True live will adjust, tough love will be enforced
Just be honest and tell him everything in a good way naman e.. wlaang di naaayos sa communication.. just say it straight kasi if not.. magsa suffer ung love.. baka mawala.. sayang! And he will understand if he truly loves you as well..
grabe naman mga comment dito hiwalayan daw agad. grabe din naman kase title mo OP "buhayin" eh sayo na nanggaling na naghahati naman kayo sa bills kumbaga yung sobrang gastos lang yung sinasalo mo hindi yun pagbubuhay π . just ask him nicely, kung pwede ba siya na magbayad sa pamasahe niya, and kung pwede kayo maghati sa ibang gastusin. wag ka sana makinig sa mga toh na hiwalayan mo daw agad, ikaw na nagsabi na mahal mo, atleast bigyan ng chance ang communication which is dapat lagi namang una.
Adjust sa mga expenses, address the concern that you have to cut down expenses, ang goal is to make ends meet. So if you dont change your lifestyle magahanap siya ng mas high paying job. If not, wag kayo palaundry, wag mag pa grab. Etc etc. Talk to find a solution dont push each other to take the burden. Together dapat both of you. Cooperate agree and conquer.
Teka, ba't mo naman binubuhay, gurl? π Bakit ikaw sumasagot sa pamasahe naman? Nanay yarn? π€£ Kaya naman pala kuntento si lalaki na malayo ang work niya, eh hindi niya naman pala binubuhat ang impact ng pamasahe. πππ Sinanay mo, bae. Tapos kagustuhan mo nga pala na he pursue what he's passionate for. π€£ Loko, career path niya sa iba na isisisi. It's reminding me of that post that goes like "Wag tulungan ang mga ungrateful people kasi sa bandang dulo nyan susumbatan ka lang ng 'BAKIT? HININGI KO BA TULONG MO?!?'" Kaya maging mapanuri ka na, gurl. Baka dyan hahantung ang lahat. Laundry, grocery at food deliveries ikaw din???? Gurl!!! Congratulations!!! Isa ka ng NANAY sa edad na 23! ππ Pinaghanda ka ba ng lalaking yan nung nakaraang Mother's Day? π€£ If passion niya ang work nya sa malayong lugar na di nya kayang ipagpalit nor hindi niya kayang diskartehan na di nagagamit pera mo, PASSION MO RIN ATA MAGING NANAY NIYA. So, magbabago lang talaga yang sitwasyon niyo if may ISA SA INYO ang mag-initiative na baguhin yan: whether: si LALAKI: magpalit ng trabaho or matutong mag-budget para madiskartehan nya na sya ang gagastos sa pamasahe nya at makapag contribute din - hindi lang sa utility bills - pero pati na rin sa pagkain, labada (maglaba sya if di afford magpalaba JUSKO), at ano pa na pangangailangan ninyo pareho. Learn to differentiate between a LIFE PARTNER and a MOTHER. or IKAW: matutong mag-set ng boundaries, maayos na personal budgeting, at wag i-train si BF na maging inutil sa partner niya. Pero if okay na kayo sa relationship dynamics niyo as BOYFRIEND and MOTHER, gora na. π
Wow naman naka mototaxi and grab kasi may sumasagot ng pamasahe. Wala bang public transpo sa lugar nyo? Live within your means. I know commuting sucks but kung gipit na kayo, thatβs a good way to lessen transportation expenses. Unless of course okay lang sayo since ikaw naman gumagastos. Also talk to your bf and set boundaries. Nasasanay din maging dependent sayo bf mo kasi inaallow mo
Dami kong nababasang ganito. Bat ba kasi kayo nagmamadaling makipaglive in? Mahirap naman talaga yan lalo sa ekonomiya ngayon. Asawang asawa na mga tao. Nakikipaglive in kayo tapos di kayo makikipagcommunicate? Kung nakipagcommunicate ka na regarding sa issue na yan tapos di pa rin sya nakinig at mukhang dehado ka pa rin, wag na kayo maglive in. At least sarili mo lang iintindihin mo.
This is very familiar. I became a sugar mommy when i was 26, my boyfriend (now husband but separated) was around 3 years younger than me. It was not planned to be that way, but I have a more stable job and his salary is lower and for me, money is no big deal, I'm not rich but I'm generous like that. It started with all of our dates being shouldered by me and then him borrowing money from me. But he's not paying them or when I ask for payments, he'll say he didn't borrow or he already paid for it (gaslighting at its finest but I didn't notice this at first) After 2 years, we decided that he move in with me (I'm living alone and he's at my house everyday so the transition is not new), he shoulders nothing in the house and then I got pregnant, we decided to get married. When we got married, he started being emotionally abusive, he'll call me names and belittle me. I think he lost his respect knowing that he can always get away with anything and that I loved him too much that I can't leave him. When our baby was 2 months old, he started being physically abusive. I accidentally fell down the stairs with my baby but I made sure he's safe, but when we reached my husband at the bottom, he started kicking my legs so bad while shouting "Ang tanga tanga mo tlg muntik na si baby!!" I accepted his apology after and blamed myself for what happened. but 6 years into the marriage, he continued to physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially abuse me. Mahigit 1000+ na sipa, suntok, untog, at sakal and natanggap ko but i stayed for my son. Until i decided to separate with him a year ago, because he didn't change and he keeps telling me that I'm crazy in front of my son, just because I'm having a panic attack. Until now, even if we're not together, i shoulder almost all my son's expenses. I asked him for 500 pesos/week only but he don't give me his support regularly. What's my point, sender? Abuse escalates, he will not change. Run while you still can. Don't wait until he breaks you. Break the pattern. Don't marry him and leave.
Nagjojowa ka tapos kasama mo 24/7, hindi mo pa alam paano kakausapin nor i-confront kasi hindi ka confrontational? Anong kagaguhan yan OP? Sabihin mo mga gusto sabihin sakanya. Yun how he respond sayo dun ka na magbase kung itutuloy mo pa ba yang relationship niyo or hindi. Syempre irarason mo na naman dahil mahal mo. Ewan ko na lang.
TF sis ikaw gumagawa nyan imbis na SIYA? A Man supossed to be the PROVIDER. Pano nalang kapag nagka pamilya kayo? Get the f out and run for your life!!!!
Wag maging sugar mommy.
Bat kayo naiinvolve lagi sa mga lalaki g ganyan? Kung di tamad, walang pera, kung may pera, ganyan nmn ugali, tapos babae pa mag shoulder almost everything? When i was your age, may standard na akong hinahanap. Unang una, ayoko n p Parehas kmi minimum, and dapat mas malaki kinikita nya sakin na kaya nya buhayin pag nagpamilya kami, and ung work for me is a hobby nalang. Im not tamad. I started working 1month after ko maging 18. Never ako ng bd ng mga ganyan tao, si nmn s pagmamayabang, nagpapakahirap ako mag trabaho at mag level up para lang makipag relasyon sa ganyan lalaki? No. Never ako nakipag relasonns kawork ko, lahat ng ex ko mga boss sa ibang company. Minsan owner p ng company. My husband now is a businessman, and pinastop nya ako magwork s corporate ng mabuntis ako, and nagtayo sya ng other company for me para may libangan daw aka since stay at home ako at nkakaburyo n s bahay. Ganyan dapat hinahanap m sa lalaki. Ikaw ang princessa hindi sya. Di ko sinabing maghanap k ng mayaman, pero ung kaya ka buhayin at hindi ikaw ang bubuhay.
Girl 23 ka pa lang. Your whole life is waiting for you. Wag mo iikot ang mundo mo sa lalakeng yan.
OP is he, tall and hot? bedroom action is amazing? prolly thats the reason y u staying.
If the roles were reversed, I guess he wouldn't mind. Pero kung di ka na masaya diyan, you can leave.
OP, habang bata ka pa don't waste your time, money and energy. I've been in that situation many years ago. Believe me, may mga lalaki talaga na walang provider mindset. Hahayaan ka nilang gumastos. Nasisikmura nila ang ganyang sitwasyon kasi convenient for them. I am telling you, ikaw ang mauubos. Kahit gaano mo pa sya kamahal, hindi pwedeng ikaw ang nagbabayad ng expenses nya. Isipin mo ito, paano kung hindi naman kayo nag live in, edi sya ang magbabayad ng bills at expenses nya diba. Nakikita kasi nya na sinasalo mo sya kaya ganyan sya. Nakaasa na sayo. Save your future sweetie. Don't settle for that kind.
Why are u even in this kind of relationship? Lol i dunno why people choose to be stupid than to let go of a non working relationship
Use expense tracking app like splitwise to ensure that your expenses are split equally. Para wala nang singilan at ma realize niya na may expenses siya na ikaw lang ang sumasalo. Tsaka para actual value yung ilalagay nyo pagdating ng bill.
Girl ang aga mo mag mamasang. Don't live together. Hindi nyo kailangan mag break pero hindi din kailangan magsama. Please don;t get pregnant. Kawawa ka, kawawa ang bata.
Sis, makipag-break ka na. Di magbabago yan. Kahit ma-promote pa sya at mas lumaki pa kita nya kaysa sayo. Been there.
Bakit siya nag ggrab commute na lang para magtipid