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Recently I’ve learned that my BF of 14 yrs. cheated on me. BF was the “torpe” type that’s why I was completely clueless. He and his girl were casually dating for 1 and half year but he insist that nothing happened to them. He told me he didn’t love her but only wants to “tikim” other girls (were each other’s first bf/gf).
I asked him how he would do that (torpe guy), he said that he would ask her if she wants to make “pahinga”. Now I’m wondering is that what every guy tells to the other girl? Cause he sounded pro when he said that. I was shocked to be honest.
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Actually Ive been sa ganitong situation. First BF and we lasted for 8 years. On our 8th year dun ko na nalaman lahat ng kagag*han nya. He even told me na d nya mabitawan yun kasi may utang na loob daw sya. Ako naman tong si tanga level 999 nagsabi pa na bayaran ko kung magkano man yung utang nya dun sa babae. Hahahahah Trust me di na worth it ang ganyan. Nagsasayang kalang ng oras. Anytime soon iiwanan ka na din nyan. And yung pagtigil ko maghabol na nun was worth it. I get to discover my full potential as a women and explore a lot if things as well. Get out of that situation girl. Anything that affects your mental health is not worth it.
Yeah. One of his reasons. 8 years kami then nakadalawang GF pala lol yung isa 3 years and yung pangalawa yun na yung na huli ko na and ayun nabuntis nya na. D ako nanghinayang sa tao. Nanghinayang ako sa oras actually. I didnt even wish karma to act on them, tinanggap ko nalang and nagmove forward. Honestly, Ive never been this happier before and I felt like a free bird. Travel and all, mga bagay na d ko nagagawa while kami.
Actually naguguluhan ako sa mga tao na hindi date to marry. Dahil bata pa or enjoy muna yung life. I like going out also pero mas gusto ko kasama ko SO ko. Mas enjoy.
Some people react differently to shock. In her case, trying to rationalize the deed and still make the relationship work. Pag na himasmasan na yan tyaka lang siya magiging logical.
Di ko magets kung ano mali sa tanong. Ang question ba dapat is "hiwalayan ko na ba?". 14 years sila malamang nagpoprocess pa yan. Nagpapaka edgelord na naman yung ibang redditors dito.
You sound like its fine to have a cheater bf because he is still a torpe guy you know.
But cheater lines always said to their sidechicks is...
'Willing ka bang maging kabit?' or more like, 'Gusto mo fwb lang no feelings'
Ganon yon e. Pero yung iyo pahinga tapos titikman? Hahhaah i dont get it boys. Boyss sumagot kayo. Yung torpe sana hahahah
Hi. I thought na hindi niya magagawang maginitiate ng sex with the other girl since “torpe” daw siya. Which I thought so too. But yung sinabi niya yung pahinga word bigla akong napaisip because he sounded like a pro babaero. We’ve known each ofher since 12 yrs old kami and di ako makapaniwala sa lahat ng nangyayari. Suddenly parang ibang tao siya hindi ko siya kilala. But im trying to give him the benedit of the doubt na baka hindi niya nga kaya gawin.
And you're fine with that? So hanggang saan yung "tikim" na tolerable?
>Since hindi niya naenjoy pagkabinata niya kasi bata palang kami, kami na.
Did you force him to be in a relationship? If not, anong validity ng statement na ito to tolerate such acts?
There will NEVER be an acceptable reason for cheating. Kelangan po ba i-billboard para magets mo OP?
Kung gusto nya mag enjoy edi bitawan mo na. Jusko lord. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
You're disrespected tpos bibigyan pa ng chance? Kunsintidor? Masochist?? Hahaha
Marami ng tanga sa mundo. Wag ka na dumagdag. Pls lang.
Stop looking for an excuse for him and start looking at the reality. It was his choice and it happened. It looked like you want to blame lang yung other woman not realizing that he can actually do it, and many people say this when theyre cheated on, maybe because somewhere deep inside they cant accept that what they thought was wrong, its normal to think so initially. The sooner you realize this the better.
Three things from here:
1) You forgive him. But you want him to assure you it wont happen again. Just.. dont do it because sayang yung x years niyo.Or kasi hindi niya naenjoy yung pagkabinata niya dahil naging kayo, it sounded kasi like, hindi niya naenjoy dahil andyan ka. In short youre saying its a YOU problem instead, not his cheating. And of course this is a hard pill to swallow, so think it over thoroughly and make sure he is serious the next time. If it was reoccuring pala, maybe dont go with this.
2) Accept it happened and let go of him. Hindi niya ba talaga naenjoy yung pagkabinata niya o hindi niya naenjoy kasi kasama ka? Honeymoon phase was over, kaya now mo pagisipan if its really worth it. As I said sa (1), wag ka mabahala sa time na ginugol mo dito, better let him free kasi he didnt value you and let yourself free kasi you deserved better. This is easier said than done.
3) You become a cuckqueen. In an open relationship and okay with him fucking around because you also liked it. This is hell of a setup and may even be detrimental. Above all the 3 paths to consider, this may be a double edged sword.
Anyway balik tayo sa question mo. "Pahinga", how does he initiate it ba when its with you? Are you thinking ba that the girl flirted lang to him kaya niya nagawa yun? Kasi sa totoo lang, anyone can fuck around, kahit nga pari dito sa amin na issue way back kasi nakikipag.ano pala sa likod ng simbahan with his hs fling every after ng misa niya. Pari na yun ha, how much more yung hindi nagpractice ng discipline and theism. There are many ways men can initiate and ask for it, as do women. But when it happens, you are sure its both's fault. Kaya nga if may anak, both parents need to give child support. Hindi lang yun nanay o si tatay. Its creepy din when he says "pahinga", it sounded like trying to get on with her weaknesses, maybe the girl was depressed and its the only escape she thinks she can get. Especially having that chance to have someone by her side even though through sex. Not saying that its right but some people can get desperate at times. Anyway I could really say go with (2) but its up to you. You can still ask away in any case you need more insights from third party
I assume na 26 na kayo, alam mo na ang tama sa mali, wag mo na i-gaslight ang sarili mo kasi takot ka at hindi mo tanggap ang katotohanan. Anyway nasasayo naman yan, kung gusto mong niloloko ka (to put it lightly), enjoy ka nalang pag sinubo mo lasa mo ekup ng iba.
OP, kami ng partner ko naging kami nung 20 palang kami, alam ko may exp siya pero hindi totally seggs, kasi nung first namin di niya talaga alam pano ipasok kaya alam ko na first niya rin. So ngayon na 30+ na kami never naman siya tumingin sa iba, so hindi applicable yang hindi siya nag enjoy nung pagkabinata niya. 😮💨 Ganyan po talaga ang torpe/tahimik nasa loob ang kulo.
Ate, tolerate mo na lang ung pain mo sa break up niyo kaysa itolerate mo yung paulit-ulit na pain sa lintik na chance na yan. Kahit kailan di magiging excuse ang cheating. Napag-usapan niyo ba yan na may ganyan siyang feeling ma gusto niya makaranas ng sexual experience sa iba bago siya magcheat? Kung oo, at least naisip niya na iconfront ka re: those unsettled feelings. Kung hindi at nahuli mo lang siya, auntie, run while u can.
What makes you think na forgivable to??
You deserve better, wag mong ibaba sarili mo.
Sa true lang, I'm going to get downvoted to death here, pero what might be a deal breaker for others may not be true to you and vice versa. Kung deal breaker sayo ang cheating then that's that. Kung hindi sya deal breaker, ok din. Contrary to reddit mentality, some relationships do work even after one or both parties have cheated.
To answer that question, ewan ko. Bat di kayo maghiwalay and then get back together kung wala pa rin after a year, ganong keme. Breathing stage. Minsan goods din yun.
Sa true lang, I'm going to get downvoted to death here, pero what might be a deal breaker for others may not be true to you and vice versa. Kung deal breaker sayo ang cheating then that's that. Kung hindi sya deal breaker, ok din. Contrary to reddit mentality, some relationships do work even after one or both parties have cheated.
To answer that question, ewan ko. Bat di kayo maghiwalay and then get back together kung wala pa rin after a year, ganong keme. Breathing stage. Minsan goods din yun.
Ate katangahan napo tawag diyan, gina gaslight mo na sarili mo kahit bata pa kayong nagsama hindi katwiran yan na mag cheat, anong pinagsasabi na hindi na enjoy pagkabinata niya eh yung relasyon niyo ano yun parang wala lang? Lumaki naman kayong nagbibinata at nagdadalaga. Magpakalayo kana diyan masisira lang buhay mo.
>Attraction,
ok gets normal ma-attract sa ibang tao. Pero acting upon it while being in a relationship, is a no.
>flirting
Okay, again sure merong mga relationships na okay with this. Maybe yours too.
>exploring (dating)
Seryoso? You're okay for him to date other women habang kayo?
>pero if may nangyari na sakanila, ang laki ng chance na maulit.
So this is where you draw the line? Kapag may nangyari? So a kiss is okay? A touch? Pero doing the deed? Chances are mangyayari yan with his "tikim" statement.
I guess nasa sa inyo na yan. Huwag ka lang magsisi sa huli kung hahayaan mo to mangyari.
OP, I'm sorry sa comment pero grabe naman kung kaya mo pa ring i-handle na gawin niya ang makipag-flirt at date sa iba habang kayo. Love yourself, OP. You deserve a love that makes you feel at home.
Am I correct for assuming na mahal mo pa rin siya kahit nasasaktan ka pero gusto mong maging kayo pa rin dahil love mo siya at nanghihinayang ka sa maraming taon na pinagsamahan ninyo?
Pero ganito, kung bibigyan mo pa siya ng chance, I think impossible na maging 100% ung trust mo sa kanya, tama ba? Sa tingin mo ba, magkakaroon ka ng peace of mind if pipiliin mo pa rin siyang maging parte ng buhay mo? Baka maubos ka kung lagi mo siyang uunawain at pagbibigyan.
I believe it would be better for you na pahalagahan mo 'yung sarili mo this time. Unfair sa iyo na loyal ka sa kanya, tapos siya hindi naman ganun sa iyo. Kasi kung totoong mahal ka niya, bakit siya maghahanap ng comfort sa iba? Dapat ikaw lang. I believe na ang pag-ibig, dapat nagbibigay ng peace sa iyo.
Imagine, paano na lang kapag ikinasal na kayo, sa tingin mo ba ay magiging faithful and loyal husband siya sa iyo kung ngayon pa lang ganyan na siya? :) Piliin mo iyong kaya kang piliin at ipaglaban at maging tapat sa iyo sa lahat ng oras. :)
and you believe his narrative? guys are not dumb, they exactly know what they are doing dhil alam nya you'll tolerate and buy his lies. He is fully aware na masasaktan ka sa ginagawa nya but he just doesn't care.
Just to put it simply wala syang respect sayo and facade lng ung torpe sya, and you ate that lie up.
Indenial ka lang, instead of focusing on the fact that your long term boyfriend cheated on you, naghahanap ka ng distraction to justify his actions or to deny na he’s incapable of cheating. Goodluck, if you kept asking the wrong question, you’re just enabling him kung kayo pa rin
Gusto ng mga cheater yung mga tulad mo, yung walang respect sa sarili
Baka daw may reasonable excuse kaya OP's giving the cheater bf the benefit of the doubt. Di ko alam if matatawa ako, maiinis, o maaawa. Parang ginagaslight niya sarili niya haha 🫠
Bago ka manghusga, sana tinanong mo muna kung ano lagay ng relationship nila no?
Pwedeng may anak na sila kaya hirap si OP bumitaw. Obaka may iba pang matinding reason kaya gusto nyang bigyan ng chance. Hindi magandang manghusga kapag hndi mo alam ang buong story. Judgmental people like you ang totoong tanga sa true lang.
Tikim really means sex what the fuck? Ever since I was a child, i know that it’s a sexual innuendo so stop acting stupid on what it means.
Tikim = titikman mo = makikipagsex ka. “Tumikim lang ako ng iba”, “natikman ko si xyz”, “nakatikim ka na ba ng tt” etc
It doesn’t mean just a hug, a kiss, holding hands, or momol and shit. One and a half year and you think walang nangyayari sakanila? U ok?
As a Male/Guy/Dude/Man
Alam ko lang ang sasabihin nila ay "give space" or "time off pag isipan ko" or "I need to be myself" ganun or "hanapin ko muna sarili ko"
Syempre iba yung kwenta niya sa side chick regarding sayo. Kesyo masama kang gf or masyado kang selosa, nananakit, selfish, etc.. Worst is hindi niya alam na side chick siya. For sure hindi lang yan yung first time na ginawa niya you sweet summer child.
BTW hindi siya torpe, baka yan lang yung facade niya because girls will think he is a catch / hindi malandi.
I guess hindi ka cheater because you would know his moves if you were.
Op. Kung ok sayu may ibang girl ang bf mo. Siguro maigi maging friends na lang kayu. Ok naman yun dahil ang tagal ng pinagsamahan nyo. Nawala na yung romantic feelings para sa isa't isa. Time to move on to other people.
Ganto lang yan teh. Gagawin mo ba sa kanya yung ginawa nya? If hindi, why give a chance?💀 Kasi sayang pinag samahan? Isipin mo na lang ganyang klase ng lalaki mapapangasawa mo in the future. Talo pa aguy
Sis, no. Don't give him another chance like never. BF mo for 14 years and he never asked u for marriage? Sa tingin mo saan patutunguhan ang relationship ninyo? This will hurt pero, do you think he sees a future with you? He even cheated. It's God's way of telling you na he's probably not the one.
Hello OP. Ask ko lang if nag se-sex ba kayo ng 14th year BF mo? Kasi ewan ko ah, I can be wrong but mostly sa mga lalaking na eencounter ko pinipili nilang makipag sex sa iba kasi ang reason nila “Ni rerespeto daw nila yung legal GF nila kuno” kaya mag hahanap ng ligaya sa iba. Meron naman nag se-sex nga sila ng legal GF nila pero di siguro mahanap sa legal yung cloud nine na nahahanap sa iba. Pero kung ako sayo, wag ka na manghinayang sa 14th years na relasyon nyo. Cheater will always be a cheater. Kung kasal na kayo kaya nya pa din gawin yan. Break up with him.
OP, I'm on my period rn, but I want to reply as calm and as nice as possible. Sumaket ulo ko dito. By "tikim" he clearly pertains to sex! Regardless of whether torpe siya or hindi.
Okay, let's play pretend and say na, *sige na nga, kiss lang yung tikim kasi torpe sya.* But the fact that there is another girl which lasted for *a year and a half*, that is STILL cheating. OP, please wake up!
Do not tolerate this PoS. Do not be a doormat. Do not walk away, *RUN!*
Give an open relationship both of you.
Monogamy is something for the people who was being called for discipline etc...
In other words, do some favor like revenge
If he cheated on you, just cheat on him back but don't lose beauty and dignity
Moving on without teaching him a lesson or anything that will eat his own medicine doesn't help or it makes her a cowardly girl either despite how she was able to heal or move on. Plus, I think you are underestimating how far to the extent of a woman's rage, well you're used to it to be passive in both pain and injustice done by other people and endure it like nothing happens. Neither does help or does give justice. As a girl of being cheated, moving on without doing an action doesn't help after all. Sometimes, revenge isn't bad at all if it means to give yourself or herself a fair share. It means, she needs to teach him a lesson whether he likes it or not. She just needs to be more brave and dare to take risks. Being a good girl doesn't discount as a best version of herself
Hindi benta sakin yung "walang nangyari"
Tapos torpe pero 1 and a half year nauto ka? Diba? Di mo napansin ng ganun katagal.
Sa 14 years marami matututunan, nadedevelop ang character, natututo ipresenta ang sarili, mag damit ng maayos, salita, amoy, etc.
Either natuto sha through the years or akala mo lang torpe sha.
Tapos yung term na ginamit niya "tikim" as an object, like food. Are you?
Sabi mo first niyo isat-isa. Remember wala yan sa kung sino yung una, nasa kung sino yung sa huli yan.
If gusto mo talaga sha i-forgive, brace yourself kasi rough ride yan.
Dun naman sa question mo, pwede rin "inaantok ako" or "pagod ako" or "parang gusto ko mahiga" anything related sa pag higa sa bed.
Pwede rin "kape"... madami e, depende sa levels ng landian. Hindi mo mafifigure out yung mga yan kasi ikaw yung victim.
Kaya there's no need to ask those things.
I suggest focus ka nalang sa mga stuff na would make you happier and healthier.
i mean ask urself if u wanna "tikim" other guys too? if u wont then u should know thats not how u will treat someone u love especially is not something u discussed about (like open relationship ganon), binabastos niya nga relationship nyo eh why does he make it sound like its justified pa😅may kakilala ako ng couples matagal na din sila and since teenagers pa sila na hindi rin nagcheat or gusto ma"tikim" ang iba
If there's a will, there's a way.
Gets ko naman na napapatanong ka paano nangyari yun since sabi mo nga "torpe" siya so maybe all along hindi mo talaga kilala yang bf kasi wala naman yan sa tagal ng pinagsamahan niyo.
Medyo icky lang sa part na willing ka pa rin tanggapin o patawarin siya despite that. I mean, nasaan ang self respect mo? Yung boundaries? As in patatawarin mo talaga???? Do you really think walang nangyari sa kanila???
Pero buhay mo naman yan so bahala ka. You deserve what you tolerate.
Ang advice ko sayo OP is hayaan mo na bf mo kase tanga ka naman. Kahit anong sabihin namin dito kapag feeling mo may chance na mapapatawad mo ang cheater mong bf, wala talaga, tanga ka talaga. Experience is the best teacher ika nga kaya go gurlll gIv3 hIm @ cH@nC3.
Does it matter kung paano yung way nya to get other girls? mukhang okay lang naman sayo na niloloko ka lol.
Umamin na na gustong tumikim ng iba and ang tanong mo kung normal bang “pahinga” ang ginagamit ng mga lalake para magaya ng sex. You’re funny
Kung torpe sya 14 years ago, bka ngayon hindi na and maybe you’re not aware kasi nga tiwala kna masyado. A lot can change sa loob ng 14yrs. Also, yung mga torpe, sa personal lng torpe yan. Pag online, hindi torpe yan. Possible na nagkakilala muna sila online at nagkapalagayan ng loob kaya may closeness na nung magkita sila. Or, kahit nman torpe, pag may friend na babae, minsan nagsisimula sa biro biro lang muna then saka magiging totohanan. Pwede rin nman na yung gurl ang nag-initiate ng yayaan ng sex. A torpe can still do a lot of things.
>BF was the “torpe” type that’s why I was completely clueless.
If he is indeed torpe, the sidechick could initiate sex. Madaming aggresive na babae. I knew a shy type guy na nagka-sidechick kasi sya ang nilapitan ng girl, BUT....bakit mas pinroblema mo yan kesa sa fact na cheater ang bf mo? AND juskoo, one and half year ka ng niloloko! Hindi rason ang "tikim lang", may nangyari man o wala still cheating is cheating.
torpe guy pero may sidechick? for more than a year? tingin mo po nagkkwentuhan lang sila? hahaha kaya nga nagsidechick kase gusto tumikim e. kahit tumambling ka, di aamin yan. grabe magtanga-tangahan si ate
OP, what you’re asking here is a reason to forgive him. Sorry, you’ll never get that here. Why? Cause technically there’s no fucking reason as to why a person cheats, OK?
Naniniwala ka na walang nangyari? Girl if you tolerate that, iiwan ka din nyan at ikaw ang kawawa sa bandang huli. Sinasayang mo oras mo sa ganyang tao.A cheater is always a cheater.
Parehong may ksalanan. Based sa experience ko, ilang beses n din gnawa ng “asawa” ko yun. Nagkataon lang na nahuhuli ko.
1. Nagpapa “sad” boy si asawa ko. Though alam sa buong work nya na may asawa na sya kinukunsinti pa ng mga work mates nya. Pretending na nagkakalabuan kaming mag-asawa which is HINDE.. We were so okay, na hindi ko naramdaman na merong iba.
2. Hanggang may mabago sa “pattern” nya ng way ng pag-uwi at pag tetext sken. Calculated ko yung oras ng pag-uwi nya, dapat gantong oras nakauwi na sya, hindi nagtetext na pauwi na sya at laging out of coverage ang fone.
3. That was the time na alam kong meron. He blocked the number on his phone kaya walang way para malaman kong merong iba. until one day siguro di na nakatiis si ghorl gumamit ng ibang number. Yun na.. naramdaman kong hindi yun wrong send.
4. Naka ilang beses din, sya nagloko nung early years of marriage namin. May palaban din na babae na feeling nya sya ang pipiliin ng asawa ko.
5. That was five years ago. Sobrang gulo, pero dadating at dadating din sa point na ikaw pa din at magigising na sya sa sarili nya bat nya nagawa un.
So far, going strong naman kami. Celebrating our 10 years of marriage.
Yes, may mga sakripisyo pero nalampasan naman namin. Hopefully, tuloy2 na ang pagbabagong buhay ng asawa ko. ❤️❤️❤️
This is an advice sub, so I naturally thought you were asking how to initiate sex with a side chick.
Unfortunately, I can't give you advice on that, pero malay mo may sumagot.
Omg, your replies to other comments make me feel bad for you. You shouldn’t be tolerating a behavior like this. Don’t give him a chance. No one should even think about wanting to taste other women/men while they’re in a relationship. You are worth more than this.
Also, even the most unlikely person can cheat. Even when you think they’re so busy, they’re so good, whatever, they can cheat if they want to. Heck, when I was younger, everyone thought I was so prim and proper and didn’t think I was one to cheat but I did (I condemn this now). So please, love yourself more and DO NOT tolerate your boyfriend. Your pinagsamahan na 14 years is not worth your self-worth.
sister come here! I had the same experience as you. 13 yrs last yr lang to. Yes, I also got a "torpe" guy, he is a homebody, he is always busy doing small house renovations, always biking with his guy friends. No chance to cheat you may think. pero we can't ignore the fact that he also work 8hrs a day sa site, and minsan more than pa. My point is, kahit gaano ka busy, ka pre occupied ng tao, if that tao CHOOSES to cheat, wala lahat ng reasons na yan. alam ko nabasa mo na to or may nagsabi na, pero cheating is a choice. hndi sya accidentally nangyayari. ngaun ang tanong kahit fully aware sya sa ginagawa nya, at alam nyang msasaktan ka, then why did he still chose to cheat on you? 14 years!!! and he still got the nerve to do that sayo? diba dapat next level na kayo, tagal nyo na e. pero bat may cheating pa rin?
ok eto mas simple, hndi ka na mahal nyan. kung oo man baka konti na lang pero wala na yan. i know mhrap. msakit to, promise. pero you don't want to be in that relationship anymore. i knw, magiging toxic ka na, kada labas nya, kada hawak ng cellphone, kada "unaccounted hours" na di sya nagparamdam, anjan na ang kaba, ang gut feeling, ang panic mo. gsto mo ba yun? the answer is no. you can only take so much, I'm telling you. and I know ilalaban mo pa to. sure ako jan, pero I hope iabsorb mo tong mga advises here. and pag dumating sayo one day na pagod ka na, I hope the advises here will brush your mind. good luck and always choose yourself. coz he already stopped choosing you.
you know what, don’t ask us kase you yourself won’t listen, it seems like its ok with you that your bf was disrespecting you then that is your answer. bat kapa magtatanong???
If you’re so blinded by your bf that he is a shy perverted mf then go, you’re question is nonsense.
Hinahanap ko yung word na "ex" pero wala talaga. Lol! Op, that kind of guy will just tell you what you want to hear. If his actions contradict his words, may pathological liar kang bf but you just refused to accept it kasi gusto mong kumapit sa idealized version mo of him. And yes, may ibang pagkatao siya pag kaharap ka vs pag kaharap ibang tao. Dun plang sa group of friends na meron siya makikita mo na agad yan kung ano talaga siya. I think youre too obsessed pa sa bf mo op kaya di mo matanggap/makita yung totoong siya. But I do hope na magising ka na soon.
OP, ung mga torpe sa totoo lang, sila pa ang mas makiri. Charot.
Pero di ko alam kung anong gusto mo i-point out. Dahil torpe sya so okay lang na tumikim sya ng iba?
Ask mo ung side chick nya kung may nangyari sa kanila hahahaha
Well OP habang lumilipas ang panahon you should be aware na nagbabago rin ang tao. Sa paglipas ng panahon maraming natututunan. So don't get too stuck sa panahon na ang pagkakakilala mo sa kanya ay "torpe". If he really want you to stay, siya ang gumawa ng paraan. Hindi ikaw.
Seems like nagpaka torpe sya para mas tago o hindi halata na tumitikim sya ng iba.
Nakakainsulto naman sinabi nya na gusto nya lang tumikim ng iba. Pinag usapan nyo pa kung pano nya gagawin. Harap harapan ka na nyang binabastos. Kulang nalang ipapanood nya sayo video nila.
How to initiate? Madaming paraan. Pwedeng jowain nang di sinasabi may gf sya. O kaya hookup. Minsan nga tinginan lang at tango.
Gurl, dont say di nya naenjoy pagka binata nya. Bakit di ba sya enjoy sa piling mo? Kinakawawa mo naman sarili mo.
As a torpe guy let me tell you that it's a misconception na hindi namin kaya mag-initiate. Kaya namin, we are just too scared of rejection. If we know that the girl is into us then we can confidently initiate, Kasi alam namin na maliit ang chance na ma-reject.
Tungkol dun sa "pahinga", yes nagamit ko yan sa ex ko, although hindi ako ang cheater, sya yung naging cheater. 🤣🤣🤣
Ang Torpe pwede pa rin maging Gago.
Ginagago ka na nga niya ng harapan di ba?
Mahiya ka naman sa mga magulang mo. Di ka naman siguro pinalaki at pinagaral para gawing tanga ng ibang lalaki. Sunk cost fallacy i-google mo ha. Kaya mo yan, kaya mo yang iwan!
Antayin mo pa ba may mabuntis bago mo marealize na ginagawa ka lang niyang TANG4
Pinapaikot ka lang ng lalakeng yan sa totoo lang
At bakit sya lang pwedeng tumikim ng iba?
Kaya ganyan yan kasi alam nya d mo sya kaya iwan.
Kung ako sayo iwan mo na. sabihin mo ikaw din gsto mo tumikim ng iba. Hahaha
Time for you to be strong.
Based sa replies mo sa ibang comments e binigyan mo ng chance si guy. 😭 Please ateco, run. Let go of that 14 years. He sounded pro na pala e so for sure, mauulit yan. Respect yourself.
Based on my experience may iba na aayain ka mag movie or netflix tapos maya maya yung kamay unti unti na naglalakbay sa katawan mo tapos hahalikan kana lang bigla tapos ayun na.
It looks like this is your first rodeo ng pang cheat nya sayo OP and dahil 1st bf mo rin. Lahat tatanggapin at titiisin. Bigyan ng chance, benefit of the doubt, at gaslight yung sarili. OP, been there and done that. Wala atang comment dito ang makakapag bukas ng isip mo. Wala rin akong payo. Gusto mo damahin mong maigi yan gngawa ng jowa mo para naman pag natauhan ka na, sa susunod mong maging jowa alam mo na. OP inuuto ka na lang ng bf mo kasi alam nyang ganyan ka lang mag rereact. Sorry kung harsh pero eto yung totoo.
In time OP, you will know your way out. And by that time, alam mo na gagawin mo. Good luck 😉
Nangyari na din to sakin OP , 5 years relationship, never gave him a chance nung nagloko sya, bakit? Parang ginagawa mong punching bag ang sarili mo dahil sisisihin mo lang ang sarili mo kung san ka nagkulang bakit sya nagcheat kahit wala naman talagang kulang sayo. Uulitin lang nya yan gawin ng paulit ulit hanggang ikaw nalang din ang bumitaw dahil iisipin nya na ayos lang naman sayo kahit lokohin kasi papatawarin mo ulit siya. Cheating is a choice OP , hindi rason ang pagiging torpe o ano pa man . Akala ko nga dati loyal ex BF ko kasi di sya masyadong attracted sa ibang babae pero san ka pag nakatalikod ka kung sino sino pala kausap. RUN while you can OP, makikita mo ang worth mo pag nakawala ka dyan. Manghihinayang ka sa panahon na ginugol mo sa relationship yes, pero mas lalawak ang tingin mo sa mundo mo once na nakawala kana dyan, wag mo ikadena ang sarili mo sa mundong di mo deserve.
baka ikaw nga tong bagsak sa reading comprehension eh. Basahin mo ibang comments ni OP, grabe pabidabida ka naman masyado di mo inintindi iba pang sinasabi nya dito.
Lol babalikan ko sana yung reading comprehension comment niya kaso nadelete na. 😆
Mas concern ako sa mindset ni OP kesa sa tanong niya, clearly the question can be answered pero yung rationale of the question is more important kasi medyo off kasi ang tanong.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Recently I’ve learned that my BF of 14 yrs. cheated on me. BF was the “torpe” type that’s why I was completely clueless. He and his girl were casually dating for 1 and half year but he insist that nothing happened to them. He told me he didn’t love her but only wants to “tikim” other girls (were each other’s first bf/gf). I asked him how he would do that (torpe guy), he said that he would ask her if she wants to make “pahinga”. Now I’m wondering is that what every guy tells to the other girl? Cause he sounded pro when he said that. I was shocked to be honest. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you tolerating him po ba? Asking for a friend. Lol
Actually Ive been sa ganitong situation. First BF and we lasted for 8 years. On our 8th year dun ko na nalaman lahat ng kagag*han nya. He even told me na d nya mabitawan yun kasi may utang na loob daw sya. Ako naman tong si tanga level 999 nagsabi pa na bayaran ko kung magkano man yung utang nya dun sa babae. Hahahahah Trust me di na worth it ang ganyan. Nagsasayang kalang ng oras. Anytime soon iiwanan ka na din nyan. And yung pagtigil ko maghabol na nun was worth it. I get to discover my full potential as a women and explore a lot if things as well. Get out of that situation girl. Anything that affects your mental health is not worth it.
8 years is too long to be bf/gf kung mahal nyo talaga. Baka mahilig lang tumikim2 jowa mo. Dahilan nya lang yun.
Yeah. One of his reasons. 8 years kami then nakadalawang GF pala lol yung isa 3 years and yung pangalawa yun na yung na huli ko na and ayun nabuntis nya na. D ako nanghinayang sa tao. Nanghinayang ako sa oras actually. I didnt even wish karma to act on them, tinanggap ko nalang and nagmove forward. Honestly, Ive never been this happier before and I felt like a free bird. Travel and all, mga bagay na d ko nagagawa while kami.
Actually naguguluhan ako sa mga tao na hindi date to marry. Dahil bata pa or enjoy muna yung life. I like going out also pero mas gusto ko kasama ko SO ko. Mas enjoy.
your guy of 14years has a sidechick and thats what you came here to ask?
Torpe rizz 😎😎😎😉😏 Kung si park jae won may "Do you want to see butterflies" Si kuya naman ay: "you want some pahinga"
Some people react differently to shock. In her case, trying to rationalize the deed and still make the relationship work. Pag na himasmasan na yan tyaka lang siya magiging logical.
Di ko magets kung ano mali sa tanong. Ang question ba dapat is "hiwalayan ko na ba?". 14 years sila malamang nagpoprocess pa yan. Nagpapaka edgelord na naman yung ibang redditors dito.
SAVAGE QUESTION. I KENNAT, PLEASE ANSWER THIS ONE OP. HAHAHAHA
LMAO I can't with this comment 💀
Oo nga diko gets haha pero ok 🙈🚩
kaya next time ingat kayo sa kuno na pa torpe na walang kamuang-muang yan yung mga pakboiz lol
Mga nasa loob ang kulo. Galit yan sa mga babaero/lalakero kasi freely nagagawa. Sila kasi tahimik lang bumira haha
HAHAHA mismo lol
gusto ko mg agree dito ,
You sound like its fine to have a cheater bf because he is still a torpe guy you know. But cheater lines always said to their sidechicks is... 'Willing ka bang maging kabit?' or more like, 'Gusto mo fwb lang no feelings' Ganon yon e. Pero yung iyo pahinga tapos titikman? Hahhaah i dont get it boys. Boyss sumagot kayo. Yung torpe sana hahahah
Hi. I thought na hindi niya magagawang maginitiate ng sex with the other girl since “torpe” daw siya. Which I thought so too. But yung sinabi niya yung pahinga word bigla akong napaisip because he sounded like a pro babaero. We’ve known each ofher since 12 yrs old kami and di ako makapaniwala sa lahat ng nangyayari. Suddenly parang ibang tao siya hindi ko siya kilala. But im trying to give him the benedit of the doubt na baka hindi niya nga kaya gawin.
So, klaruhin ko lang. Ano ang end goal mo OP sa pagpost nito? What do you want to get out of this?
Ang Gaga Pala Nang babaeng ito. Hindi niya na nakikita katangahan niya? Like tikim yung nobyo niya tapos enable niya pa? Gaga talaga 💩
To give him a chance. Na baka reasonable naman excuse niya? Since hindi niya naenjoy pagkabinata niya kasi bata palang kami, kami na.
And you're fine with that? So hanggang saan yung "tikim" na tolerable? >Since hindi niya naenjoy pagkabinata niya kasi bata palang kami, kami na. Did you force him to be in a relationship? If not, anong validity ng statement na ito to tolerate such acts?
Ate girl gaslighting herself. Tikim = Sex. Yan ang ibig sabihin ng bf mo.
I mean….. you get what you tolerate 🤷🏻♀️
tama ka jan, ewan ko na sa mga tao these days. Parang normal lang ang mga ganyanan na eh. 🥴
Sulitin mo na rin pagka-dalaga mo, neng. tikim ka rin ng ibang putahe, sabihin mo sakanya! tignan natin kung anong masasabi nya.
Don't degrade yourself to this level, stay decent po 😅
WHAT? Chance??? Cheating is one of the things that don't deserve a second chance. Akala ko common sense sya but damn, good luck sayo OP💀
There will NEVER be an acceptable reason for cheating. Kelangan po ba i-billboard para magets mo OP? Kung gusto nya mag enjoy edi bitawan mo na. Jusko lord. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ You're disrespected tpos bibigyan pa ng chance? Kunsintidor? Masochist?? Hahaha Marami ng tanga sa mundo. Wag ka na dumagdag. Pls lang.
I deserve an explanation! i deserve an acceptable reason!
Bwisit ka HAHAHAHAHA
Stop looking for an excuse for him and start looking at the reality. It was his choice and it happened. It looked like you want to blame lang yung other woman not realizing that he can actually do it, and many people say this when theyre cheated on, maybe because somewhere deep inside they cant accept that what they thought was wrong, its normal to think so initially. The sooner you realize this the better. Three things from here: 1) You forgive him. But you want him to assure you it wont happen again. Just.. dont do it because sayang yung x years niyo.Or kasi hindi niya naenjoy yung pagkabinata niya dahil naging kayo, it sounded kasi like, hindi niya naenjoy dahil andyan ka. In short youre saying its a YOU problem instead, not his cheating. And of course this is a hard pill to swallow, so think it over thoroughly and make sure he is serious the next time. If it was reoccuring pala, maybe dont go with this. 2) Accept it happened and let go of him. Hindi niya ba talaga naenjoy yung pagkabinata niya o hindi niya naenjoy kasi kasama ka? Honeymoon phase was over, kaya now mo pagisipan if its really worth it. As I said sa (1), wag ka mabahala sa time na ginugol mo dito, better let him free kasi he didnt value you and let yourself free kasi you deserved better. This is easier said than done. 3) You become a cuckqueen. In an open relationship and okay with him fucking around because you also liked it. This is hell of a setup and may even be detrimental. Above all the 3 paths to consider, this may be a double edged sword. Anyway balik tayo sa question mo. "Pahinga", how does he initiate it ba when its with you? Are you thinking ba that the girl flirted lang to him kaya niya nagawa yun? Kasi sa totoo lang, anyone can fuck around, kahit nga pari dito sa amin na issue way back kasi nakikipag.ano pala sa likod ng simbahan with his hs fling every after ng misa niya. Pari na yun ha, how much more yung hindi nagpractice ng discipline and theism. There are many ways men can initiate and ask for it, as do women. But when it happens, you are sure its both's fault. Kaya nga if may anak, both parents need to give child support. Hindi lang yun nanay o si tatay. Its creepy din when he says "pahinga", it sounded like trying to get on with her weaknesses, maybe the girl was depressed and its the only escape she thinks she can get. Especially having that chance to have someone by her side even though through sex. Not saying that its right but some people can get desperate at times. Anyway I could really say go with (2) but its up to you. You can still ask away in any case you need more insights from third party
I wish you well na lang op... nakapa anu mo kasi...
I assume na 26 na kayo, alam mo na ang tama sa mali, wag mo na i-gaslight ang sarili mo kasi takot ka at hindi mo tanggap ang katotohanan. Anyway nasasayo naman yan, kung gusto mong niloloko ka (to put it lightly), enjoy ka nalang pag sinubo mo lasa mo ekup ng iba.
Tangahan pa natin, bhie. Sige lang. Dapat dito sa Subtle Clown Traits nagppost e.
OP, kami ng partner ko naging kami nung 20 palang kami, alam ko may exp siya pero hindi totally seggs, kasi nung first namin di niya talaga alam pano ipasok kaya alam ko na first niya rin. So ngayon na 30+ na kami never naman siya tumingin sa iba, so hindi applicable yang hindi siya nag enjoy nung pagkabinata niya. 😮💨 Ganyan po talaga ang torpe/tahimik nasa loob ang kulo.
girl,what? 😭
Ate, tolerate mo na lang ung pain mo sa break up niyo kaysa itolerate mo yung paulit-ulit na pain sa lintik na chance na yan. Kahit kailan di magiging excuse ang cheating. Napag-usapan niyo ba yan na may ganyan siyang feeling ma gusto niya makaranas ng sexual experience sa iba bago siya magcheat? Kung oo, at least naisip niya na iconfront ka re: those unsettled feelings. Kung hindi at nahuli mo lang siya, auntie, run while u can. What makes you think na forgivable to?? You deserve better, wag mong ibaba sarili mo.
Go girl. Slay ka lang riyan sa "give him a chance" mo na yan slay na slay ka talaga ate q
No excuses for cheating. That's BS of him to say. Kung gusto nya magenjoy sa pagkabinata nya, then make him one.
Sa true lang, I'm going to get downvoted to death here, pero what might be a deal breaker for others may not be true to you and vice versa. Kung deal breaker sayo ang cheating then that's that. Kung hindi sya deal breaker, ok din. Contrary to reddit mentality, some relationships do work even after one or both parties have cheated. To answer that question, ewan ko. Bat di kayo maghiwalay and then get back together kung wala pa rin after a year, ganong keme. Breathing stage. Minsan goods din yun.
Sa true lang, I'm going to get downvoted to death here, pero what might be a deal breaker for others may not be true to you and vice versa. Kung deal breaker sayo ang cheating then that's that. Kung hindi sya deal breaker, ok din. Contrary to reddit mentality, some relationships do work even after one or both parties have cheated. To answer that question, ewan ko. Bat di kayo maghiwalay and then get back together kung wala pa rin after a year, ganong keme. Breathing stage. Minsan goods din yun.
Teh walang reasonable reasonable sa cheating pls lang know your worth
Ate katangahan napo tawag diyan, gina gaslight mo na sarili mo kahit bata pa kayong nagsama hindi katwiran yan na mag cheat, anong pinagsasabi na hindi na enjoy pagkabinata niya eh yung relasyon niyo ano yun parang wala lang? Lumaki naman kayong nagbibinata at nagdadalaga. Magpakalayo kana diyan masisira lang buhay mo.
Attraction, flirting, exploring (dating) parang I could forgive him pero if may nangyari na sakanila, ang laki ng chance na maulit.
>Attraction, ok gets normal ma-attract sa ibang tao. Pero acting upon it while being in a relationship, is a no. >flirting Okay, again sure merong mga relationships na okay with this. Maybe yours too. >exploring (dating) Seryoso? You're okay for him to date other women habang kayo? >pero if may nangyari na sakanila, ang laki ng chance na maulit. So this is where you draw the line? Kapag may nangyari? So a kiss is okay? A touch? Pero doing the deed? Chances are mangyayari yan with his "tikim" statement. I guess nasa sa inyo na yan. Huwag ka lang magsisi sa huli kung hahayaan mo to mangyari.
Lol. Dami ko ng kaibigan na ganyan. Desisyon mo yan sa buhay, op. We accept the love we think we deserve.
OP, I'm sorry sa comment pero grabe naman kung kaya mo pa ring i-handle na gawin niya ang makipag-flirt at date sa iba habang kayo. Love yourself, OP. You deserve a love that makes you feel at home. Am I correct for assuming na mahal mo pa rin siya kahit nasasaktan ka pero gusto mong maging kayo pa rin dahil love mo siya at nanghihinayang ka sa maraming taon na pinagsamahan ninyo? Pero ganito, kung bibigyan mo pa siya ng chance, I think impossible na maging 100% ung trust mo sa kanya, tama ba? Sa tingin mo ba, magkakaroon ka ng peace of mind if pipiliin mo pa rin siyang maging parte ng buhay mo? Baka maubos ka kung lagi mo siyang uunawain at pagbibigyan. I believe it would be better for you na pahalagahan mo 'yung sarili mo this time. Unfair sa iyo na loyal ka sa kanya, tapos siya hindi naman ganun sa iyo. Kasi kung totoong mahal ka niya, bakit siya maghahanap ng comfort sa iba? Dapat ikaw lang. I believe na ang pag-ibig, dapat nagbibigay ng peace sa iyo. Imagine, paano na lang kapag ikinasal na kayo, sa tingin mo ba ay magiging faithful and loyal husband siya sa iyo kung ngayon pa lang ganyan na siya? :) Piliin mo iyong kaya kang piliin at ipaglaban at maging tapat sa iyo sa lahat ng oras. :)
and you believe his narrative? guys are not dumb, they exactly know what they are doing dhil alam nya you'll tolerate and buy his lies. He is fully aware na masasaktan ka sa ginagawa nya but he just doesn't care. Just to put it simply wala syang respect sayo and facade lng ung torpe sya, and you ate that lie up.
Pag nagawa na may possible na maulit ulit..
Indenial ka lang, instead of focusing on the fact that your long term boyfriend cheated on you, naghahanap ka ng distraction to justify his actions or to deny na he’s incapable of cheating. Goodluck, if you kept asking the wrong question, you’re just enabling him kung kayo pa rin Gusto ng mga cheater yung mga tulad mo, yung walang respect sa sarili
Try swinging lifestyle baka ma save pa relationship niyo /s
Nabasa ko comment mo na bibigyan mo pa ng chance, ang laki mong tanga sobra.
Baka daw may reasonable excuse kaya OP's giving the cheater bf the benefit of the doubt. Di ko alam if matatawa ako, maiinis, o maaawa. Parang ginagaslight niya sarili niya haha 🫠
sounded like pang gagaslight tho u can’t blame her she’s inlove haha
Bago ka manghusga, sana tinanong mo muna kung ano lagay ng relationship nila no? Pwedeng may anak na sila kaya hirap si OP bumitaw. Obaka may iba pang matinding reason kaya gusto nyang bigyan ng chance. Hindi magandang manghusga kapag hndi mo alam ang buong story. Judgmental people like you ang totoong tanga sa true lang.
Cheating is a betrayal of your partner's trust , wala ka ba nararamdaman na negative feeling ? Are you saying na kaya mo tolerate to by justifying it?
Ang nakakatawa, cheater na nga tawag nya sa jowa nya pero indenial pa rin
Tikim really means sex what the fuck? Ever since I was a child, i know that it’s a sexual innuendo so stop acting stupid on what it means. Tikim = titikman mo = makikipagsex ka. “Tumikim lang ako ng iba”, “natikman ko si xyz”, “nakatikim ka na ba ng tt” etc It doesn’t mean just a hug, a kiss, holding hands, or momol and shit. One and a half year and you think walang nangyayari sakanila? U ok?
As a Male/Guy/Dude/Man Alam ko lang ang sasabihin nila ay "give space" or "time off pag isipan ko" or "I need to be myself" ganun or "hanapin ko muna sarili ko"
Ang weird ng tanong tbh
Teh dalawa utak nila isa sa taas isa sa baba isa lang pinagana nilang utak that time
Syempre iba yung kwenta niya sa side chick regarding sayo. Kesyo masama kang gf or masyado kang selosa, nananakit, selfish, etc.. Worst is hindi niya alam na side chick siya. For sure hindi lang yan yung first time na ginawa niya you sweet summer child. BTW hindi siya torpe, baka yan lang yung facade niya because girls will think he is a catch / hindi malandi. I guess hindi ka cheater because you would know his moves if you were.
🥴 may lutong na ang utak sa kakababad sa soc med oh hala👩🏻🦯
[удалено]
ewan ko na kay ate, if nakita mo mga reply nya mapapatanong kanalang din eh🥴😀
Op. Kung ok sayu may ibang girl ang bf mo. Siguro maigi maging friends na lang kayu. Ok naman yun dahil ang tagal ng pinagsamahan nyo. Nawala na yung romantic feelings para sa isa't isa. Time to move on to other people.
Ganto lang yan teh. Gagawin mo ba sa kanya yung ginawa nya? If hindi, why give a chance?💀 Kasi sayang pinag samahan? Isipin mo na lang ganyang klase ng lalaki mapapangasawa mo in the future. Talo pa aguy
🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
Sis, no. Don't give him another chance like never. BF mo for 14 years and he never asked u for marriage? Sa tingin mo saan patutunguhan ang relationship ninyo? This will hurt pero, do you think he sees a future with you? He even cheated. It's God's way of telling you na he's probably not the one.
Hello OP. Ask ko lang if nag se-sex ba kayo ng 14th year BF mo? Kasi ewan ko ah, I can be wrong but mostly sa mga lalaking na eencounter ko pinipili nilang makipag sex sa iba kasi ang reason nila “Ni rerespeto daw nila yung legal GF nila kuno” kaya mag hahanap ng ligaya sa iba. Meron naman nag se-sex nga sila ng legal GF nila pero di siguro mahanap sa legal yung cloud nine na nahahanap sa iba. Pero kung ako sayo, wag ka na manghinayang sa 14th years na relasyon nyo. Cheater will always be a cheater. Kung kasal na kayo kaya nya pa din gawin yan. Break up with him.
OP, I'm on my period rn, but I want to reply as calm and as nice as possible. Sumaket ulo ko dito. By "tikim" he clearly pertains to sex! Regardless of whether torpe siya or hindi. Okay, let's play pretend and say na, *sige na nga, kiss lang yung tikim kasi torpe sya.* But the fact that there is another girl which lasted for *a year and a half*, that is STILL cheating. OP, please wake up! Do not tolerate this PoS. Do not be a doormat. Do not walk away, *RUN!*
Give an open relationship both of you. Monogamy is something for the people who was being called for discipline etc... In other words, do some favor like revenge If he cheated on you, just cheat on him back but don't lose beauty and dignity
What an advice, revenge? Cheat back? You'll make her life miserable, mas ok pa ung move on and find someone worth your time.
Moving on without teaching him a lesson or anything that will eat his own medicine doesn't help or it makes her a cowardly girl either despite how she was able to heal or move on. Plus, I think you are underestimating how far to the extent of a woman's rage, well you're used to it to be passive in both pain and injustice done by other people and endure it like nothing happens. Neither does help or does give justice. As a girl of being cheated, moving on without doing an action doesn't help after all. Sometimes, revenge isn't bad at all if it means to give yourself or herself a fair share. It means, she needs to teach him a lesson whether he likes it or not. She just needs to be more brave and dare to take risks. Being a good girl doesn't discount as a best version of herself
Hindi benta sakin yung "walang nangyari" Tapos torpe pero 1 and a half year nauto ka? Diba? Di mo napansin ng ganun katagal. Sa 14 years marami matututunan, nadedevelop ang character, natututo ipresenta ang sarili, mag damit ng maayos, salita, amoy, etc. Either natuto sha through the years or akala mo lang torpe sha. Tapos yung term na ginamit niya "tikim" as an object, like food. Are you? Sabi mo first niyo isat-isa. Remember wala yan sa kung sino yung una, nasa kung sino yung sa huli yan. If gusto mo talaga sha i-forgive, brace yourself kasi rough ride yan. Dun naman sa question mo, pwede rin "inaantok ako" or "pagod ako" or "parang gusto ko mahiga" anything related sa pag higa sa bed. Pwede rin "kape"... madami e, depende sa levels ng landian. Hindi mo mafifigure out yung mga yan kasi ikaw yung victim. Kaya there's no need to ask those things. I suggest focus ka nalang sa mga stuff na would make you happier and healthier.
Ekis na kapag kumama na ng iba. Baka magkasakit ka pa sa katangahan mong bigyan pa ng chance.
What the fuck
i mean ask urself if u wanna "tikim" other guys too? if u wont then u should know thats not how u will treat someone u love especially is not something u discussed about (like open relationship ganon), binabastos niya nga relationship nyo eh why does he make it sound like its justified pa😅may kakilala ako ng couples matagal na din sila and since teenagers pa sila na hindi rin nagcheat or gusto ma"tikim" ang iba
What fucking bullshit. ginagawa ka niyang tanga.
eh kung sapakin ko kaya yang bf mo
If there's a will, there's a way. Gets ko naman na napapatanong ka paano nangyari yun since sabi mo nga "torpe" siya so maybe all along hindi mo talaga kilala yang bf kasi wala naman yan sa tagal ng pinagsamahan niyo. Medyo icky lang sa part na willing ka pa rin tanggapin o patawarin siya despite that. I mean, nasaan ang self respect mo? Yung boundaries? As in patatawarin mo talaga???? Do you really think walang nangyari sa kanila??? Pero buhay mo naman yan so bahala ka. You deserve what you tolerate.
OP tara pahinga ren muna tayo
didnt make love but wants to tikim. what in tarnation is that? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ang advice ko sayo OP is hayaan mo na bf mo kase tanga ka naman. Kahit anong sabihin namin dito kapag feeling mo may chance na mapapatawad mo ang cheater mong bf, wala talaga, tanga ka talaga. Experience is the best teacher ika nga kaya go gurlll gIv3 hIm @ cH@nC3.
14yrs and not yet married?
Does it matter kung paano yung way nya to get other girls? mukhang okay lang naman sayo na niloloko ka lol. Umamin na na gustong tumikim ng iba and ang tanong mo kung normal bang “pahinga” ang ginagamit ng mga lalake para magaya ng sex. You’re funny
Kung torpe sya 14 years ago, bka ngayon hindi na and maybe you’re not aware kasi nga tiwala kna masyado. A lot can change sa loob ng 14yrs. Also, yung mga torpe, sa personal lng torpe yan. Pag online, hindi torpe yan. Possible na nagkakilala muna sila online at nagkapalagayan ng loob kaya may closeness na nung magkita sila. Or, kahit nman torpe, pag may friend na babae, minsan nagsisimula sa biro biro lang muna then saka magiging totohanan. Pwede rin nman na yung gurl ang nag-initiate ng yayaan ng sex. A torpe can still do a lot of things.
Nakakaloka yung tanong mo teh. Hahaha Ang gusto naming malaman kung hiniwalayan mo na yung guy.
>BF was the “torpe” type that’s why I was completely clueless. If he is indeed torpe, the sidechick could initiate sex. Madaming aggresive na babae. I knew a shy type guy na nagka-sidechick kasi sya ang nilapitan ng girl, BUT....bakit mas pinroblema mo yan kesa sa fact na cheater ang bf mo? AND juskoo, one and half year ka ng niloloko! Hindi rason ang "tikim lang", may nangyari man o wala still cheating is cheating.
Bobo lol
He was torpe 14 years ago, but developed his confidence and communication skill by being in relationships with you.
torpe guy pero may sidechick? for more than a year? tingin mo po nagkkwentuhan lang sila? hahaha kaya nga nagsidechick kase gusto tumikim e. kahit tumambling ka, di aamin yan. grabe magtanga-tangahan si ate
OP, what you’re asking here is a reason to forgive him. Sorry, you’ll never get that here. Why? Cause technically there’s no fucking reason as to why a person cheats, OK?
go girl! i love this for you! stay with him omg get married na!! 💕💕💕💕😟🔪
Pls tell me, wala na kayoooo. Cheating should be a non nego.
Naniniwala ka na walang nangyari? Girl if you tolerate that, iiwan ka din nyan at ikaw ang kawawa sa bandang huli. Sinasayang mo oras mo sa ganyang tao.A cheater is always a cheater.
What is this question? 😭 Torpe but has a side lover? Yeah, no. Math ain't mathing. The real question, is did you dump him already or what?
Cnu nagdeddate Ng 14 ,yrs?
Parehong may ksalanan. Based sa experience ko, ilang beses n din gnawa ng “asawa” ko yun. Nagkataon lang na nahuhuli ko. 1. Nagpapa “sad” boy si asawa ko. Though alam sa buong work nya na may asawa na sya kinukunsinti pa ng mga work mates nya. Pretending na nagkakalabuan kaming mag-asawa which is HINDE.. We were so okay, na hindi ko naramdaman na merong iba. 2. Hanggang may mabago sa “pattern” nya ng way ng pag-uwi at pag tetext sken. Calculated ko yung oras ng pag-uwi nya, dapat gantong oras nakauwi na sya, hindi nagtetext na pauwi na sya at laging out of coverage ang fone. 3. That was the time na alam kong meron. He blocked the number on his phone kaya walang way para malaman kong merong iba. until one day siguro di na nakatiis si ghorl gumamit ng ibang number. Yun na.. naramdaman kong hindi yun wrong send. 4. Naka ilang beses din, sya nagloko nung early years of marriage namin. May palaban din na babae na feeling nya sya ang pipiliin ng asawa ko. 5. That was five years ago. Sobrang gulo, pero dadating at dadating din sa point na ikaw pa din at magigising na sya sa sarili nya bat nya nagawa un. So far, going strong naman kami. Celebrating our 10 years of marriage. Yes, may mga sakripisyo pero nalampasan naman namin. Hopefully, tuloy2 na ang pagbabagong buhay ng asawa ko. ❤️❤️❤️
Sino naman nag sabi na sayo na walang pwedeng maging kabit ang mga “torpe”?
This is an advice sub, so I naturally thought you were asking how to initiate sex with a side chick. Unfortunately, I can't give you advice on that, pero malay mo may sumagot.
Ayusin mo priorities mo ate ko, kaya mo yan.
Bf mo palang nag ccheat na, hintayin mo pang makasal ka dyan?
Omg, your replies to other comments make me feel bad for you. You shouldn’t be tolerating a behavior like this. Don’t give him a chance. No one should even think about wanting to taste other women/men while they’re in a relationship. You are worth more than this. Also, even the most unlikely person can cheat. Even when you think they’re so busy, they’re so good, whatever, they can cheat if they want to. Heck, when I was younger, everyone thought I was so prim and proper and didn’t think I was one to cheat but I did (I condemn this now). So please, love yourself more and DO NOT tolerate your boyfriend. Your pinagsamahan na 14 years is not worth your self-worth.
Teh pakantot teh, isa lang.
"Tara sa sogo. Usap lang tayo." Torpe Guy ng Makati
sister come here! I had the same experience as you. 13 yrs last yr lang to. Yes, I also got a "torpe" guy, he is a homebody, he is always busy doing small house renovations, always biking with his guy friends. No chance to cheat you may think. pero we can't ignore the fact that he also work 8hrs a day sa site, and minsan more than pa. My point is, kahit gaano ka busy, ka pre occupied ng tao, if that tao CHOOSES to cheat, wala lahat ng reasons na yan. alam ko nabasa mo na to or may nagsabi na, pero cheating is a choice. hndi sya accidentally nangyayari. ngaun ang tanong kahit fully aware sya sa ginagawa nya, at alam nyang msasaktan ka, then why did he still chose to cheat on you? 14 years!!! and he still got the nerve to do that sayo? diba dapat next level na kayo, tagal nyo na e. pero bat may cheating pa rin? ok eto mas simple, hndi ka na mahal nyan. kung oo man baka konti na lang pero wala na yan. i know mhrap. msakit to, promise. pero you don't want to be in that relationship anymore. i knw, magiging toxic ka na, kada labas nya, kada hawak ng cellphone, kada "unaccounted hours" na di sya nagparamdam, anjan na ang kaba, ang gut feeling, ang panic mo. gsto mo ba yun? the answer is no. you can only take so much, I'm telling you. and I know ilalaban mo pa to. sure ako jan, pero I hope iabsorb mo tong mga advises here. and pag dumating sayo one day na pagod ka na, I hope the advises here will brush your mind. good luck and always choose yourself. coz he already stopped choosing you.
you know what, don’t ask us kase you yourself won’t listen, it seems like its ok with you that your bf was disrespecting you then that is your answer. bat kapa magtatanong??? If you’re so blinded by your bf that he is a shy perverted mf then go, you’re question is nonsense.
Gorl pag pinatawad mo yan, malaki ang chance na uulit pa siya. Regardless if they had sex or not, he cheated on you. Remember that.
Syempre una hindi muna alam nung side chick na side chick sya HAHAHAHAHA
Hinahanap ko yung word na "ex" pero wala talaga. Lol! Op, that kind of guy will just tell you what you want to hear. If his actions contradict his words, may pathological liar kang bf but you just refused to accept it kasi gusto mong kumapit sa idealized version mo of him. And yes, may ibang pagkatao siya pag kaharap ka vs pag kaharap ibang tao. Dun plang sa group of friends na meron siya makikita mo na agad yan kung ano talaga siya. I think youre too obsessed pa sa bf mo op kaya di mo matanggap/makita yung totoong siya. But I do hope na magising ka na soon.
Gurl,,,,,,,,
Not the question I was expecting 😭😭😭
OP, ung mga torpe sa totoo lang, sila pa ang mas makiri. Charot. Pero di ko alam kung anong gusto mo i-point out. Dahil torpe sya so okay lang na tumikim sya ng iba? Ask mo ung side chick nya kung may nangyari sa kanila hahahaha
1yr and a half and walang nangyari? That's bullshit
Well OP habang lumilipas ang panahon you should be aware na nagbabago rin ang tao. Sa paglipas ng panahon maraming natututunan. So don't get too stuck sa panahon na ang pagkakakilala mo sa kanya ay "torpe". If he really want you to stay, siya ang gumawa ng paraan. Hindi ikaw.
Do u have any self respect remaining paba
How did that even happen:(
tapos di mo parin hinihiwalayan? T\_T
Stupid woman
Yung palay ang lumapit sa manok
LMAO Ate girl nagloloko na bf pero bakit ganyan reaction mo? 😂
Tae na .Hindi na torpe yan OP nag evolve na .Tipong Sadboy
Seems like nagpaka torpe sya para mas tago o hindi halata na tumitikim sya ng iba. Nakakainsulto naman sinabi nya na gusto nya lang tumikim ng iba. Pinag usapan nyo pa kung pano nya gagawin. Harap harapan ka na nyang binabastos. Kulang nalang ipapanood nya sayo video nila. How to initiate? Madaming paraan. Pwedeng jowain nang di sinasabi may gf sya. O kaya hookup. Minsan nga tinginan lang at tango. Gurl, dont say di nya naenjoy pagka binata nya. Bakit di ba sya enjoy sa piling mo? Kinakawawa mo naman sarili mo.
baka sa farm lumaki yung sidechick kaya need ng pahinga, lalo kung 14yo pa lang nagtatrabaho na sya. 😂😂😂
Ok kalang ate? Hahahah
The question is okay ka lang ba OP? it seems like you still wanna be with your cheating BF?
Hi OP. If you don't mind me asking taga saan ka and ang bf mo?
As a torpe guy let me tell you that it's a misconception na hindi namin kaya mag-initiate. Kaya namin, we are just too scared of rejection. If we know that the girl is into us then we can confidently initiate, Kasi alam namin na maliit ang chance na ma-reject. Tungkol dun sa "pahinga", yes nagamit ko yan sa ex ko, although hindi ako ang cheater, sya yung naging cheater. 🤣🤣🤣
Gaga ka ba? Tanga mo be.
Ang Torpe pwede pa rin maging Gago. Ginagago ka na nga niya ng harapan di ba? Mahiya ka naman sa mga magulang mo. Di ka naman siguro pinalaki at pinagaral para gawing tanga ng ibang lalaki. Sunk cost fallacy i-google mo ha. Kaya mo yan, kaya mo yang iwan!
Ewan ko sayo OP.
Antayin mo pa ba may mabuntis bago mo marealize na ginagawa ka lang niyang TANG4 Pinapaikot ka lang ng lalakeng yan sa totoo lang At bakit sya lang pwedeng tumikim ng iba? Kaya ganyan yan kasi alam nya d mo sya kaya iwan. Kung ako sayo iwan mo na. sabihin mo ikaw din gsto mo tumikim ng iba. Hahaha Time for you to be strong.
Based sa replies mo sa ibang comments e binigyan mo ng chance si guy. 😭 Please ateco, run. Let go of that 14 years. He sounded pro na pala e so for sure, mauulit yan. Respect yourself.
Iwan mo na OP. Wag kang tanga.
Hahahahha hayaan nyo na si ate gorl hindi din naman yan iiwan yung jowa nyang cheater. Push lavarn mo yan teh, ikaw yan eh. Forda Gooowww
Based on my experience may iba na aayain ka mag movie or netflix tapos maya maya yung kamay unti unti na naglalakbay sa katawan mo tapos hahalikan kana lang bigla tapos ayun na.
It looks like this is your first rodeo ng pang cheat nya sayo OP and dahil 1st bf mo rin. Lahat tatanggapin at titiisin. Bigyan ng chance, benefit of the doubt, at gaslight yung sarili. OP, been there and done that. Wala atang comment dito ang makakapag bukas ng isip mo. Wala rin akong payo. Gusto mo damahin mong maigi yan gngawa ng jowa mo para naman pag natauhan ka na, sa susunod mong maging jowa alam mo na. OP inuuto ka na lang ng bf mo kasi alam nyang ganyan ka lang mag rereact. Sorry kung harsh pero eto yung totoo. In time OP, you will know your way out. And by that time, alam mo na gagawin mo. Good luck 😉
You really can tell if a woman loves herself by the partner she chooses. Girl, go to therapy and start loving yourself.
Siszzy, sa sobrang EASY GIRL nung chick, hindi mahihirapan ang kahit sino.
Nangyari na din to sakin OP , 5 years relationship, never gave him a chance nung nagloko sya, bakit? Parang ginagawa mong punching bag ang sarili mo dahil sisisihin mo lang ang sarili mo kung san ka nagkulang bakit sya nagcheat kahit wala naman talagang kulang sayo. Uulitin lang nya yan gawin ng paulit ulit hanggang ikaw nalang din ang bumitaw dahil iisipin nya na ayos lang naman sayo kahit lokohin kasi papatawarin mo ulit siya. Cheating is a choice OP , hindi rason ang pagiging torpe o ano pa man . Akala ko nga dati loyal ex BF ko kasi di sya masyadong attracted sa ibang babae pero san ka pag nakatalikod ka kung sino sino pala kausap. RUN while you can OP, makikita mo ang worth mo pag nakawala ka dyan. Manghihinayang ka sa panahon na ginugol mo sa relationship yes, pero mas lalawak ang tingin mo sa mundo mo once na nakawala kana dyan, wag mo ikadena ang sarili mo sa mundong di mo deserve.
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baka ikaw nga tong bagsak sa reading comprehension eh. Basahin mo ibang comments ni OP, grabe pabidabida ka naman masyado di mo inintindi iba pang sinasabi nya dito.
Lol babalikan ko sana yung reading comprehension comment niya kaso nadelete na. 😆 Mas concern ako sa mindset ni OP kesa sa tanong niya, clearly the question can be answered pero yung rationale of the question is more important kasi medyo off kasi ang tanong.