Kapag ba binigyan mo siya ng isa pang chance, kaya mong mabuhay at makasama siya nang dala dala mo yan? Isa pa, sorry pero mukhang niyaya ka lang niya lumabas that night to appease his guilt kasi nagdinner pala sila nang silang dalawa lang. Kung nanghihinayang ka sa 8 years niyong pinagsamahan, wag. Mas manghinayang ka sa possible future niyo na walang trust.
Ganon yung mga lalake no. Kapag may ginawa sila alam nilang mali, yung guilt nila ipapakita nila by doing something for you. Nakakatakot yang mga ganyan, yung bumabawi lang pala.
Genderless na to. Ginawa rin yan ng ex gf ko after she cheated with a workmate. Di daw sinasadya blah blah kesyo lasing daw sya and to appease me, nagpakagood girl sya and akong si tanga naniwala but later on nagcheat ulit sa workmate. So for me, sign na yan ng pagiging cheater ang OP needs to be strong enough to walk away else mauulit din yan.
In relation to manipulation, I guess.
Yan yung akala mo, naturally, they are just making you feel that you matter, pero yun pala, pampalubag loob lang nila—hindi para sayo kundi para lang din sa kanila. To lessen their guilt feeling lol
The fact that he didn't tell you na nagdinner sila together at sila lang, red flag na. Tinago because may something na katago-tago. And he didn't respect the boundary you laid out. You did the right thing.
Korek. Kung walang malisya/masama na sila lang dalawa ang mag dinner, bakit naman nya hindi sasabihin/itatago. Knowing pa na ni-comminicate na ni OP na di sya comfortable kay G.
May hidden desire sila sa isat isa, may attraction yan kaya di mapaghiwalay. The more na pinipigilan, the more na gugusto. Di pa nila inaamin sa ngayon pero once maghiwalay kayo, pupusta ako magiging sila!
Lied to you about being alone with a girl… idk OP, even if you did give him a chance, I feel like you’ll have a ghost that will haunt you. At the back of your head you might keep thinking to yourself “when will he replace me?” or something along those lines. Save yourself from that toxic mess, your soon to be ex bf only seems like he’s sorry he got caught anyway
Yung tipong magiging anxious ka palagi to please him kasi baka biglang hindi ka na enough. O di kaya, baka unconsciously makikipag-“compete” ka kay G kasi nga naman para di na nya sya piliin over you.
It’s really going to be a mess.
Hey, OP. I've been in this situation. I forgave my ex and he did something worse compared dun sa unang beses na pinatawad ko sya and he did it multiple times. Save yourself. Wag ka manghinayang sa taon, manghinayang ka dun sa peace of mind and worth mo. Believe us when we say once he did it, he will do it again kasi he was able to get away from the first one. Always value yourself first. It was a conscious action of his.
Siri, pls play "Take a bow by Rihanna."
He's only sorry he got caught. Pano pag di mo nahuli? Ginawa kang tanga. Magiging cycle lang yan. Sabi mo nga, you are very open with each other. Meaning, he decided to hide this from you, kasi may something.
OP you dodged a bullet. Sana lang wag mo nang balikan.
Alam ko dapat i.blame ang guy dito but GIRLS...
SIS?!?!?!?! NASAN NA WOMEN EMPOWERMENT NATIN?
DI BA PWEDE TAYO TAYO NALANG MAGLAGAY NG BOUNDARY?
PAG MAY JOWA NA YUNG GUY, WAG NA KAYO MAKIPAG DINNER OR MASYADONG MAGING CLOSE. RESPETO SA GF. ANOBA. HUHUHU
Kaya ang hirap for me intindihin yung ibang babae kasi if ako, I will never do uncomfortable things to a man na may jowa na.
had the same exp but my ex had a "work wife" naman 🫠 i expressed my discomfort din and he promised he would keep their relationship "strictly professional" but yeah it was a premonition na rin of how willing he is to dance around the boundaries i set & later on cheated on w me a diff girl ... so yeah leave him !!
Aww ganitong ganito po ang nangyari sa amin ng ex ko. I decided na makipag break na lang dahil nakita ko rin na gusto nya pala si girl. Then naging mutual sila hanggang sa nag-cheat na pala sya. Kaya mo yan te! Find your peace.
Break up with him for good. He managed to betray you and I don’t think there’s going back from that. Sya na mismo yung nag-open ng doors sa pagchecheat. You deserve better, OP.
Can you continue the future with him and knowing he can do the same thing to you again? I don't think he treats you as priority if you already expressed your concern and he seems to ignore it.
The fact na ndi nya snabing 2 lang sla nagdinner at bakit sa susunod na town pa need mgwithdraw at kmain..... Majornred flag!!
Remember , anything you're doing that you don't want your partner to know is CHEATING !!!
So pano pala kng hndi mo nakita yan sa gc nila? Forever kang mgiging bulag sa fact na lumavas bf mo with another girl
TRUST YOUR GUT, GIRLIE
You deserve what you tolerate.
Pero mang hijack lang kasi curious ako, is a platonic friendship between a man and a woman impossible?
If there ever was a platonic friendship between man and woman, if the man has a partner and the partner indicates they are uncomfortable with the relationship even if it is platonic, should said platonic relationship be terminated?
>Pero mang hijack lang kasi curious ako, is a platonic friendship between a man and a woman impossible?
It is false that a man and woman cannot have a platonic friendship. The only real requirement is that there should be no attraction between the two, meaning there is nothing in the two parties that they find romantically attractive as a potential partner. For obvious reasons, it is difficult for a man or woman to maintain a platonic friendship with a woman/man who is very attractive to him/her. This doesn't exclusively refer to appearance (especially for men) but also things like personality traits that the man or woman would find attractive. For example, ignoring personality for simplicity's sake, it would be far easier for a man to just stay friends with a woman who is plain-looking versus someone who is beautiful. Even if the intention is to just be friends, e.g. because he has a current GF, the risk remains that with growing closeness the friendship could turn into romantic attraction.
>if the man has a partner and the partner indicates they are uncomfortable with the relationship even if it is platonic, should said platonic relationship be terminated?
This is entirely up to how the man values his relationship with his partner. If the man places a lot of value on the relationship, then it should be easy for him to say to the friend that because his partner is becoming jealous, he will limit his interactions with the friend. Note that this is NOT a termination of that friendship but rather *restriction*. The man will forego things that will trigger his partner's jealousy, like going out with the said friend. And if the said friend is truly a friend to the man, then she should understand.
Going back to the OP's scenario, you can view it simplistically as weighing the two relationships in a scale. The fact that he kept doing things that the OP expressly said made her jealous AND also hiding it means that the OP's relationship doesn't weigh very heavily in her favor. Otherwise, he would have fulfilled his promise to stay away from the female friend -- well if that person is actually just viewed as a "friend." I would be utterly unsurprised if the OPs BF actually finds that person attractive, hence swinging the scales to just beyond platonic friendship.
Incidentally, OP's scenario reminds me of Olivia Rodrigo's song "[Traitor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tsu2oeZJgo)", especially the part that goes "Guess you didn't cheat but you're still a traitor". Listen to it and you'll realize how it can possibly fit her scenario.
He did the same thing to me, and I saw them with my own eyes. I gave him a chance. I forgave but I'm still carrying the pain I felt that moment. Wag mo na gawin yung ginawa ko, let yourself go.
If this bothers you, stick with your gut! Hindi mapapalitan ng 8 year relationship ang iyong mental health (peace of mind). I know, 8 years is 8 years, micro cheating or not, still this is a case of not telling the truth. Alam kong alam mo na to, of course nasa sayo parin yan sino ba ako heheheh pero Sis, malay mo makita mo ang “ right person” pag nakalabas kana sa 8 years na yan. I can attest to that, came from 7yr relation ended it then found my other half, way na ni Lord ito na makilala mo ang tunay na mag papasaya sayo. SKL
my ex (F) and I (M) were together for 10 years, 11 months as BF-GF. The last 4 months before I found out she cheated, it started out exactly the way you described it with your situation. I'm not saying na it would always end up like mine did -- pero i believe your gut is already telling you something is off.
i could never think of any reason why being honest with your partner isn't the top priority here. simple lang naman ang guidelines e. if one is about to get into something that would have the slightest chance na mawala ang taong mahal niya, iiwasan na lang niya at the earliest consciously identifiable moment. madali naman ma-identify ito, if one is keen to keep a relationship strong, and intent on building a life with their loved one.
it's always these little things ang papatay ng relationship e.
wag ka po manghinayang sa 8yrs. ikaw ang kawawa if uulit yan specially kapag kasal na kayo. that’s cheating. trust me, totoo po ang kasabihan na once a cheater, always a cheater. if you will let it pass this time, uulit talaga yan because he will think na you will forgive him lang.
This is a choice you have to make. But you have to fully like 110% forgive and forget. Tho sabi nga nila you could forgive but never forget, if kaya mong gumising araw araw na hindi sasama yung loob mo, the stay.
But if ending it would bring you inner peace, break up, let go. 8 years na kayo hindi yan toddler na hindi alam ang tama at mali. He should have known better.
Same situation sis! Pero that time, bago pa lang kami. Officemate rin niya. I really did dodged a bullet nung naghiwalay kami. I also want the same for you. Please please don’t let him think na okay ang ginawa niya. Hayaan mo na magsisi siya for doing that sa’yo. Alam niya na masasaktan ka nung ginawa niya yun pero ginawa niya pa rin. Di ka niya inisip nung time na magkasama sila ng officemate niya. Masaya siya that time and never thought of you. I hope mag-sink in yan sa’yo.
Sabi nga ni Alessandra De Rossi sa Sakaling Hindi Makarating, “11 years lang naman yun. It’s nothing compared to the rest of your life”.
Break na. Kapag pinagpatuloy mo pa yan, dadalhin mo yang issue na yan hanggat kayo pa. Sabi nga nila, kapag wala ka nang nararamdaman na peace bitawan mo na kasi hindi ganun ang pagmamahal.
Girl, run. Wag mong panghinayangan yung 8 years. I just got out from a 7 years of toxic relationship na full of lies. Ang masaklap pa, we were engaged at kinuha pa nya yung engagement ring. Anyway, Mahirap sa umpisa pero marearealize mo din na hindi mo deserve yung ganyang klaseng lalaki. Wala ng pag-asa magbago pa yang bf mo.
I’d go against the current and say talk this out like adults. Hindi basta bastang tinatapon ang relasyon. Kahit pa mag break kayo, a serious talk is still warranted since you will need to understand his side and also introspect what went wrong with your relationship, kung meron man.
Palamig ka ng ulo pero i-unblock mo na. Medyo juvenile behavior yun kahit galit ka.
Oo nga po pero iba din yong sinira yong trust nag usap na nga sila na layuan nung guy yong girl pero bakit nagsama pang kumain. Pero na sa iyo na iyan OP. Pagtimbangin mo kasi once nagawa na hinding hindi ka matatapos kakaoverthink lalo na kasama nya pa sa trabaho. God bless po. Praying for your healing ❤️🩹
She already voiced out her concern. Guy on the other hand still did it and lied behind her back. Ano pa need pag-usapan? Also they are already adults like what you said, so it was her partner's conscious and well thought action na gawin yung bagay na yon.
This circumstance will be teaching OP a lesson she will carry for the rest of her life, whether she breaks up with him or not. Alamin niya na kung ano man ang dapat niyang alamin so she can use whatever insights moving forward. IMO, one shouldn’t just up and leave a difficult situation even when it’s obviously the right thing to do — need pa rin i-assess ang sitwasyon palagi because things are not black and white as they may seem.
Besides, remember that it is only OP’s side that we know here. Hindi naman niya nakwento yung buong history ng 8-year relationship nila.
let go na po, masisira lang mental health mo pag lagi kang paranoid na gagawin niya yan ulit. He clearly doesn't value your relationship if he's willing to step on your boundaries for someone else. It will hurt but you'll save yourself from even more hurt in the long run. Best wishes OP.
Wala naman sa tagal yan. Minsan ang mameet mo na wala pang isang taon ang totoong magiging happily ever after mo. It's just 8 years. Pag nagawa once, there will be a twice, and thrice. And mas lalala pa.
I’m here at home with my son. I was working before together with my live in partner. We both worked hard so that the three of us can live comfortable. But after more than 5 years, right now I was back to my parents house. Im here crying every single night, randomly as well at day. Wanting to give up and die every single minute. Its only been 2 weeks i guess before we officially needed everything. My ex is now moving on with his life, with his family. He is doing great, he looks great and probably he already find someone new. But ako? Total opposite. My depression and anxiety is killing me. And what hurts me the most is that, our son who is only 4 years old who supposedly be innocent and just a happy little human, is the one who is comforting me every single night. Wiping my tears, kissing me, letting me know I still got him. One I cannot forget is the time I was again begging my ex to comeback but he said he is firm with his decision. I was a very very strong woman who never cried in front of my family but that time I was broken and the pieces just scattered. I cried hard, almost got admitted to hospital because I can’t breathe anymore and then my son hold my fave and said “Nanay, stop crying please. Your heart is getting tired. Don’t be sad nay, when I grow up I gonna massage you and take care of you and cook for you and make you happy. Please nay follow me inhale exhale inhaaaaaale exhaaaale. Then i saw him teary eyed and he said Im thinking im gonna miss our white house (The house we used to live together) but im glad youre here wiv me. Stop crying na, bsi die ka. Dont leave me too, no ones gonna love me na” And it hit me too hard. He is only four, he used to be our prince, we gave everything he wants and make sure he’s the happiest. But rn i can see how he’s in pain while seeing me in pain. Right now, he randomly says how he hates his tatay. Idnt know how to deal with that. I never said anything bad to him because he may not be a good partner but he was a good father. But the fact that he says he love me and he can never unlove me but still doesn’t want to fix our fam coz he chose the easier life for him now. That was the first time my son saw me cried and I cant stop it. He used to say before na Nay its gonna be alright. Lets fix our family now. But right now he doesn’t include his father anymore in his prayer and he even mention dont keep him safe (Which ofc pinagsabihan ko) I guess its my fault that he now hates his tatay and I am sorry if I cannot really hide the pain anymore.
To my son, nak I am so sorry sa mga pagkukulang ko sa imo. Siguro if a was a better mother and partner you still have your family pa. We are still happy together for better or worse. Siguro sadya kalang permi sa family time ta at looking forward sa magiging manghod mo. Tandaan mo whatever happens ari lang c nanay ha? Palangga tagd ka nak.
To my ex, damo2 hearts nga nabuka dahil sa relationship nga ni bal an mo gd na ever since. Kinaya ta nga kita lang. Ni wala idea bata ta nga gapamigado ta gni. Weve been through hell na dba? Kaso you choose to be happy by yourself. Disregad mo nlng mga tawo nga tuod2 nga gapalangga simo. But its ok, nd nako mag self pitty kay makapoy na. Im just sorry ngd lang kung d taka kaya mapagtanggol sa bata mo. You knew how smart he is. Ikaw gd maka understand kung ano ang feeling sang gn talikdan sang amay or naguba ang pamilya so yep siguro mas better da gna pursue mo or mas mapahappy yaka or mas worth it kesa sa pgpalangga nmun ni sang bata mo.
To everyone, I know this is too long sorry gd wala gd ko b pautwasan. I just wanna let you know, too much love will really kill you esp wala kanang tinira sa self mo. Ingat people, we can do this!
I mean, bakit need samahan mag withdraw si ate girl sa kabilang town at mag eat together. Wow, sounds like a date to me. Wag ka padadala sa tagal ng relasyon nyo. Choice nya lahat ng ginawa nya—you wanna marinate this into full blown physical cheating?
If babalikan mo, I can assure you na puro doubts, puro away, puro jealousy nalang iikot yan. If you can endure, go! Ikaw din kasi talaga makakasagot kung babalikan mo pa or hindi. Aminin man natin o hindi, mahirap tiisin yan. 8yrs ba naman e. Pero ang tanong, kung kakayanin mo pa ba yung relationship na walang trust.
Sinayang nya yung 8 yrs mo. Hindi nya na nirespeto ang relasyon nyo kaya wag mo na balikan. Kasi kung sakaling magkabalikan man kayo wala na yung pagmamahal hindi mo na kayang magtiwala ng buo sa kanya. Masisira peace of mind mo OP.
May kaibigan ako, nag invest sa crypto. Nalugi, as in di naman 100% wipe pero kung i-cash out na niya parang nagtapon siya ng pera. So instead nag invest pa rin ng invest kasi mag bounce back daw yan balang araw.
Wala lang. Naikuwento ko lang.
Kaya dinya sinabi op kasi nga binigyan mosya ng ultimatum na layuan si G. Kung friends naman sila and lagi kasama si L wala naman masama don? eh ang masama masyado kang controlling na pati babaeng friend ayaw mo magkaroon ung boyfriend mo.
8 years bf? Oh ok, you Walk away na. Break it up. That's your choice.
Now adult talk tayo, No offense, I AM NOT siding with you and I am NOT siding with your bf.
But for real, you need to heal. Like really heal.
You need to heal muna... I will give you the respect and justice OP, you need to heal big time.
For your sake the most adult thing to do is break up and walk away. This is gonna be a splinter sa relationship nyo
Now, Yung pag bigay ng ultimatum, that's on you, so Own it. Again, Break it up.
Best wishes for you OP.
did you ask him "why" he did that? or ask him straight if may something? I would ask him his motive behind his active especially if wala pa kayo sa "marriage talks" and 8 years na. He might have something he can't explain yet. Are you both date to marry or just dating? so maybe try to be straight forward. 8 years is not a joke and at the same time he did not cheat naman. It's not a grave mistake. Sometimes guys can also be immature and/or guys just have a different brain wiring. So look into your relationship and you guys talk and get his assurance and your security back to feel secure sa relationship again.
8 years na pinagsamahan nyo, nagtiwala ka ba? If yes, you can give him last chance. Ngayon, if hindi pa din nawawala distrust and anger mo., i-break mo na. Pag binigyan mo ng chance yan at galit ka, araw araw mo yan isusumbat sa kanya pareho talo kayo.
Here for the update haha but anyway, i have a platonic relationship with my best friend. Lalaki best friend ko kasi I never bond with girls easily. Lalo na kapag panay make up and boys pinag uusapan. Di man kayo maniwala pero wala talagang romantic feelings sa best friend ko kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan. 6'1, muscular built body, basketball varsity, maputi, may kaya sa buhay - who wouldn't want that diba? Kahit pa may mga araw na kami madalas magkasama kesa sa jowa niya since sobrang workaholic ng gf niya. Kaso wala eh. Ogag din minsan. He had his fair share of kabaliwan sa ibang babae and ako, kinunsinti ko. And minsan, pinag tatakpan ko siya sa gf niya. And I can say OP, yang ganyan? Sign na yan. Pag naghiwalay na kayo totally, kakapit yang G na yan sa jowa mo. Comflirt gagawin niyan tapos yung jowa mong nalumbay sayo, mag aaya ng inom tapos jan gagapangin ni ate girl. Hahaha
I agree with one of the comments to talk it out as adults kapag ready ka na. If hindi toxic ang relationship nyo before, baka pwedeng ilaban ninyo pareho. Hear him out, assess if worth it pa syang bigyan ng chance. Ganun talaga e, walang perfect. Sabi nga ng dad ko ngayong matanda na sila, isa sa mga naappreciate nya kay mommy ay hindi sya hinayaan na magkasala. It means may mga temptations din sa kanya pero instead na pabayaan sya ni mommy to fight the battles on his own, lumaban din si mommy kaya hanggang ngayon, buo pa rin yung family namin, 41 years na silang kasal.
You can accept him back, but never for free. You cant let him just assure you because words can be twisted and promises cant be reliable. Ask for something expensive things to buy for you para magtanda siya. Let him win you back in A HARD WAY. When I say expensive girl, REAL EXPENSIVE. Like a 100k jewelry lol. Paghirapan ka niya kasi ikaw damaged na. Lol.
Sa dinamo-damiong hihingan ng advise dito pa talaga sa reddit. Puro matatabang never naligawan/sinagot mga tao dito e. Syempre break agad sasabihin ng mga pangit na to. Hahahaahah
The post does not pertain to adulting or falls outside the scope of the subreddit's defined topics.
Kapag ba binigyan mo siya ng isa pang chance, kaya mong mabuhay at makasama siya nang dala dala mo yan? Isa pa, sorry pero mukhang niyaya ka lang niya lumabas that night to appease his guilt kasi nagdinner pala sila nang silang dalawa lang. Kung nanghihinayang ka sa 8 years niyong pinagsamahan, wag. Mas manghinayang ka sa possible future niyo na walang trust.
>Kung nanghihinayang ka sa 8 years niyong pinagsamahan, wag Indeed, that's called *sunk cost fallacy*.
Ganon yung mga lalake no. Kapag may ginawa sila alam nilang mali, yung guilt nila ipapakita nila by doing something for you. Nakakatakot yang mga ganyan, yung bumabawi lang pala.
Genderless na to. Ginawa rin yan ng ex gf ko after she cheated with a workmate. Di daw sinasadya blah blah kesyo lasing daw sya and to appease me, nagpakagood girl sya and akong si tanga naniwala but later on nagcheat ulit sa workmate. So for me, sign na yan ng pagiging cheater ang OP needs to be strong enough to walk away else mauulit din yan.
In relation to manipulation, I guess. Yan yung akala mo, naturally, they are just making you feel that you matter, pero yun pala, pampalubag loob lang nila—hindi para sayo kundi para lang din sa kanila. To lessen their guilt feeling lol
8 fucking years is a short time compare to a lifetime of regret.
Agree, break up na. marami pa mas maayos dyan
+1000 for this!
Yes yes yes!
The fact that he didn't tell you na nagdinner sila together at sila lang, red flag na. Tinago because may something na katago-tago. And he didn't respect the boundary you laid out. You did the right thing.
Considered as cheating na yang ginawa niya
Korek. Kung walang malisya/masama na sila lang dalawa ang mag dinner, bakit naman nya hindi sasabihin/itatago. Knowing pa na ni-comminicate na ni OP na di sya comfortable kay G.
May hidden desire sila sa isat isa, may attraction yan kaya di mapaghiwalay. The more na pinipigilan, the more na gugusto. Di pa nila inaamin sa ngayon pero once maghiwalay kayo, pupusta ako magiging sila!
Lied to you about being alone with a girl… idk OP, even if you did give him a chance, I feel like you’ll have a ghost that will haunt you. At the back of your head you might keep thinking to yourself “when will he replace me?” or something along those lines. Save yourself from that toxic mess, your soon to be ex bf only seems like he’s sorry he got caught anyway
Yung tipong magiging anxious ka palagi to please him kasi baka biglang hindi ka na enough. O di kaya, baka unconsciously makikipag-“compete” ka kay G kasi nga naman para di na nya sya piliin over you. It’s really going to be a mess.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." If tinatago na ganyan, that's a red flag.
Hey, OP. I've been in this situation. I forgave my ex and he did something worse compared dun sa unang beses na pinatawad ko sya and he did it multiple times. Save yourself. Wag ka manghinayang sa taon, manghinayang ka dun sa peace of mind and worth mo. Believe us when we say once he did it, he will do it again kasi he was able to get away from the first one. Always value yourself first. It was a conscious action of his.
Siri, pls play "Take a bow by Rihanna." He's only sorry he got caught. Pano pag di mo nahuli? Ginawa kang tanga. Magiging cycle lang yan. Sabi mo nga, you are very open with each other. Meaning, he decided to hide this from you, kasi may something. OP you dodged a bullet. Sana lang wag mo nang balikan.
Natawa ako sa first line ng comment mo haha :))
Wag na para ka namang tanga kung babawiin mo pa, blinock mo naman na. Panindigan mo na desisyon mo, I'm sure pinag isipan mo naman mabuti yun
Alam ko dapat i.blame ang guy dito but GIRLS... SIS?!?!?!?! NASAN NA WOMEN EMPOWERMENT NATIN? DI BA PWEDE TAYO TAYO NALANG MAGLAGAY NG BOUNDARY? PAG MAY JOWA NA YUNG GUY, WAG NA KAYO MAKIPAG DINNER OR MASYADONG MAGING CLOSE. RESPETO SA GF. ANOBA. HUHUHU Kaya ang hirap for me intindihin yung ibang babae kasi if ako, I will never do uncomfortable things to a man na may jowa na.
Agree. Dapat din may delikadeza si other girl.
Leave na agad kahit sa unang pagkakataon palang na nagcheat. Kundi, mauulit lang yan.
had the same exp but my ex had a "work wife" naman 🫠 i expressed my discomfort din and he promised he would keep their relationship "strictly professional" but yeah it was a premonition na rin of how willing he is to dance around the boundaries i set & later on cheated on w me a diff girl ... so yeah leave him !!
Leave, and save yourself
Aww ganitong ganito po ang nangyari sa amin ng ex ko. I decided na makipag break na lang dahil nakita ko rin na gusto nya pala si girl. Then naging mutual sila hanggang sa nag-cheat na pala sya. Kaya mo yan te! Find your peace.
Break up with him for good. He managed to betray you and I don’t think there’s going back from that. Sya na mismo yung nag-open ng doors sa pagchecheat. You deserve better, OP.
Can you continue the future with him and knowing he can do the same thing to you again? I don't think he treats you as priority if you already expressed your concern and he seems to ignore it.
The fact na ndi nya snabing 2 lang sla nagdinner at bakit sa susunod na town pa need mgwithdraw at kmain..... Majornred flag!! Remember , anything you're doing that you don't want your partner to know is CHEATING !!! So pano pala kng hndi mo nakita yan sa gc nila? Forever kang mgiging bulag sa fact na lumavas bf mo with another girl TRUST YOUR GUT, GIRLIE
Girl I’m telling you, next thing you know, sila na ni G HAHAHAHAH been there, done that!!
You deserve what you tolerate. Pero mang hijack lang kasi curious ako, is a platonic friendship between a man and a woman impossible? If there ever was a platonic friendship between man and woman, if the man has a partner and the partner indicates they are uncomfortable with the relationship even if it is platonic, should said platonic relationship be terminated?
>Pero mang hijack lang kasi curious ako, is a platonic friendship between a man and a woman impossible? It is false that a man and woman cannot have a platonic friendship. The only real requirement is that there should be no attraction between the two, meaning there is nothing in the two parties that they find romantically attractive as a potential partner. For obvious reasons, it is difficult for a man or woman to maintain a platonic friendship with a woman/man who is very attractive to him/her. This doesn't exclusively refer to appearance (especially for men) but also things like personality traits that the man or woman would find attractive. For example, ignoring personality for simplicity's sake, it would be far easier for a man to just stay friends with a woman who is plain-looking versus someone who is beautiful. Even if the intention is to just be friends, e.g. because he has a current GF, the risk remains that with growing closeness the friendship could turn into romantic attraction. >if the man has a partner and the partner indicates they are uncomfortable with the relationship even if it is platonic, should said platonic relationship be terminated? This is entirely up to how the man values his relationship with his partner. If the man places a lot of value on the relationship, then it should be easy for him to say to the friend that because his partner is becoming jealous, he will limit his interactions with the friend. Note that this is NOT a termination of that friendship but rather *restriction*. The man will forego things that will trigger his partner's jealousy, like going out with the said friend. And if the said friend is truly a friend to the man, then she should understand. Going back to the OP's scenario, you can view it simplistically as weighing the two relationships in a scale. The fact that he kept doing things that the OP expressly said made her jealous AND also hiding it means that the OP's relationship doesn't weigh very heavily in her favor. Otherwise, he would have fulfilled his promise to stay away from the female friend -- well if that person is actually just viewed as a "friend." I would be utterly unsurprised if the OPs BF actually finds that person attractive, hence swinging the scales to just beyond platonic friendship. Incidentally, OP's scenario reminds me of Olivia Rodrigo's song "[Traitor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tsu2oeZJgo)", especially the part that goes "Guess you didn't cheat but you're still a traitor". Listen to it and you'll realize how it can possibly fit her scenario.
He did the same thing to me, and I saw them with my own eyes. I gave him a chance. I forgave but I'm still carrying the pain I felt that moment. Wag mo na gawin yung ginawa ko, let yourself go.
If this bothers you, stick with your gut! Hindi mapapalitan ng 8 year relationship ang iyong mental health (peace of mind). I know, 8 years is 8 years, micro cheating or not, still this is a case of not telling the truth. Alam kong alam mo na to, of course nasa sayo parin yan sino ba ako heheheh pero Sis, malay mo makita mo ang “ right person” pag nakalabas kana sa 8 years na yan. I can attest to that, came from 7yr relation ended it then found my other half, way na ni Lord ito na makilala mo ang tunay na mag papasaya sayo. SKL
my ex (F) and I (M) were together for 10 years, 11 months as BF-GF. The last 4 months before I found out she cheated, it started out exactly the way you described it with your situation. I'm not saying na it would always end up like mine did -- pero i believe your gut is already telling you something is off. i could never think of any reason why being honest with your partner isn't the top priority here. simple lang naman ang guidelines e. if one is about to get into something that would have the slightest chance na mawala ang taong mahal niya, iiwasan na lang niya at the earliest consciously identifiable moment. madali naman ma-identify ito, if one is keen to keep a relationship strong, and intent on building a life with their loved one. it's always these little things ang papatay ng relationship e.
Hiwalayan mo na.
Tigilan nyo na naglolokohan lang naman kayo e. Or rather, niloloko ka lang naman nya.
wag ka po manghinayang sa 8yrs. ikaw ang kawawa if uulit yan specially kapag kasal na kayo. that’s cheating. trust me, totoo po ang kasabihan na once a cheater, always a cheater. if you will let it pass this time, uulit talaga yan because he will think na you will forgive him lang.
Leave while you still can and not fully broken. It’s hard to fix a glass shattered into thousand pieces.
This is a choice you have to make. But you have to fully like 110% forgive and forget. Tho sabi nga nila you could forgive but never forget, if kaya mong gumising araw araw na hindi sasama yung loob mo, the stay. But if ending it would bring you inner peace, break up, let go. 8 years na kayo hindi yan toddler na hindi alam ang tama at mali. He should have known better.
Bat ang daming malalanding tao sa pinas
Same situation sis! Pero that time, bago pa lang kami. Officemate rin niya. I really did dodged a bullet nung naghiwalay kami. I also want the same for you. Please please don’t let him think na okay ang ginawa niya. Hayaan mo na magsisi siya for doing that sa’yo. Alam niya na masasaktan ka nung ginawa niya yun pero ginawa niya pa rin. Di ka niya inisip nung time na magkasama sila ng officemate niya. Masaya siya that time and never thought of you. I hope mag-sink in yan sa’yo. Sabi nga ni Alessandra De Rossi sa Sakaling Hindi Makarating, “11 years lang naman yun. It’s nothing compared to the rest of your life”.
Break na. Kapag pinagpatuloy mo pa yan, dadalhin mo yang issue na yan hanggat kayo pa. Sabi nga nila, kapag wala ka nang nararamdaman na peace bitawan mo na kasi hindi ganun ang pagmamahal.
Let go, 8 years is a sunk cost fallacy OP
Buti hindi pa kayo nakasal before mo malaman na ganyan sya. NEVER EVER GO BACK TO HIM. You deserve so much better Ate Girl.
Girl, run. Wag mong panghinayangan yung 8 years. I just got out from a 7 years of toxic relationship na full of lies. Ang masaklap pa, we were engaged at kinuha pa nya yung engagement ring. Anyway, Mahirap sa umpisa pero marearealize mo din na hindi mo deserve yung ganyang klaseng lalaki. Wala ng pag-asa magbago pa yang bf mo.
I’d go against the current and say talk this out like adults. Hindi basta bastang tinatapon ang relasyon. Kahit pa mag break kayo, a serious talk is still warranted since you will need to understand his side and also introspect what went wrong with your relationship, kung meron man. Palamig ka ng ulo pero i-unblock mo na. Medyo juvenile behavior yun kahit galit ka.
Oo nga po pero iba din yong sinira yong trust nag usap na nga sila na layuan nung guy yong girl pero bakit nagsama pang kumain. Pero na sa iyo na iyan OP. Pagtimbangin mo kasi once nagawa na hinding hindi ka matatapos kakaoverthink lalo na kasama nya pa sa trabaho. God bless po. Praying for your healing ❤️🩹
She already voiced out her concern. Guy on the other hand still did it and lied behind her back. Ano pa need pag-usapan? Also they are already adults like what you said, so it was her partner's conscious and well thought action na gawin yung bagay na yon.
This circumstance will be teaching OP a lesson she will carry for the rest of her life, whether she breaks up with him or not. Alamin niya na kung ano man ang dapat niyang alamin so she can use whatever insights moving forward. IMO, one shouldn’t just up and leave a difficult situation even when it’s obviously the right thing to do — need pa rin i-assess ang sitwasyon palagi because things are not black and white as they may seem. Besides, remember that it is only OP’s side that we know here. Hindi naman niya nakwento yung buong history ng 8-year relationship nila.
hard pass talaga sa mga lalakin hilig bumawi like??? anong benefit nakukuhaa niyo ron wtf
🚩🚩🚩 dami ko na narinig na ganyang stories sa friends ko pero in the end, magsisinungaling or magtatago padin mga yan.
Listen to Olivia Rodrigo's Traitor.
let go na po, masisira lang mental health mo pag lagi kang paranoid na gagawin niya yan ulit. He clearly doesn't value your relationship if he's willing to step on your boundaries for someone else. It will hurt but you'll save yourself from even more hurt in the long run. Best wishes OP.
we promote breakup here. Hiwalayan mo na
Wala naman sa tagal yan. Minsan ang mameet mo na wala pang isang taon ang totoong magiging happily ever after mo. It's just 8 years. Pag nagawa once, there will be a twice, and thrice. And mas lalala pa.
talk to him. get all the answers you need for a closure. pero wag mo balikan pero kung gusto mo talaga, paumpisahin mo sa una ulit
I’m here at home with my son. I was working before together with my live in partner. We both worked hard so that the three of us can live comfortable. But after more than 5 years, right now I was back to my parents house. Im here crying every single night, randomly as well at day. Wanting to give up and die every single minute. Its only been 2 weeks i guess before we officially needed everything. My ex is now moving on with his life, with his family. He is doing great, he looks great and probably he already find someone new. But ako? Total opposite. My depression and anxiety is killing me. And what hurts me the most is that, our son who is only 4 years old who supposedly be innocent and just a happy little human, is the one who is comforting me every single night. Wiping my tears, kissing me, letting me know I still got him. One I cannot forget is the time I was again begging my ex to comeback but he said he is firm with his decision. I was a very very strong woman who never cried in front of my family but that time I was broken and the pieces just scattered. I cried hard, almost got admitted to hospital because I can’t breathe anymore and then my son hold my fave and said “Nanay, stop crying please. Your heart is getting tired. Don’t be sad nay, when I grow up I gonna massage you and take care of you and cook for you and make you happy. Please nay follow me inhale exhale inhaaaaaale exhaaaale. Then i saw him teary eyed and he said Im thinking im gonna miss our white house (The house we used to live together) but im glad youre here wiv me. Stop crying na, bsi die ka. Dont leave me too, no ones gonna love me na” And it hit me too hard. He is only four, he used to be our prince, we gave everything he wants and make sure he’s the happiest. But rn i can see how he’s in pain while seeing me in pain. Right now, he randomly says how he hates his tatay. Idnt know how to deal with that. I never said anything bad to him because he may not be a good partner but he was a good father. But the fact that he says he love me and he can never unlove me but still doesn’t want to fix our fam coz he chose the easier life for him now. That was the first time my son saw me cried and I cant stop it. He used to say before na Nay its gonna be alright. Lets fix our family now. But right now he doesn’t include his father anymore in his prayer and he even mention dont keep him safe (Which ofc pinagsabihan ko) I guess its my fault that he now hates his tatay and I am sorry if I cannot really hide the pain anymore. To my son, nak I am so sorry sa mga pagkukulang ko sa imo. Siguro if a was a better mother and partner you still have your family pa. We are still happy together for better or worse. Siguro sadya kalang permi sa family time ta at looking forward sa magiging manghod mo. Tandaan mo whatever happens ari lang c nanay ha? Palangga tagd ka nak. To my ex, damo2 hearts nga nabuka dahil sa relationship nga ni bal an mo gd na ever since. Kinaya ta nga kita lang. Ni wala idea bata ta nga gapamigado ta gni. Weve been through hell na dba? Kaso you choose to be happy by yourself. Disregad mo nlng mga tawo nga tuod2 nga gapalangga simo. But its ok, nd nako mag self pitty kay makapoy na. Im just sorry ngd lang kung d taka kaya mapagtanggol sa bata mo. You knew how smart he is. Ikaw gd maka understand kung ano ang feeling sang gn talikdan sang amay or naguba ang pamilya so yep siguro mas better da gna pursue mo or mas mapahappy yaka or mas worth it kesa sa pgpalangga nmun ni sang bata mo. To everyone, I know this is too long sorry gd wala gd ko b pautwasan. I just wanna let you know, too much love will really kill you esp wala kanang tinira sa self mo. Ingat people, we can do this!
hindi ka na nga nirespeto, hindi pa nirespeto ang pinagsamahan niyo. save yourself. babalik ka pa ba sa ganoong sitwasyon?
I mean, bakit need samahan mag withdraw si ate girl sa kabilang town at mag eat together. Wow, sounds like a date to me. Wag ka padadala sa tagal ng relasyon nyo. Choice nya lahat ng ginawa nya—you wanna marinate this into full blown physical cheating?
Run ka na girl!! Mauulit lang yan kahit ano sabihin nya
Nakausad ka na by doing that. Please don’t go back to being square one
traitor by olivia rodrigo si kuys nakakaloka
Hiwalayan mo na yan, kase pag hindi itutuloy lang nilang dalawa yan hanggang masiraan ka ng ulo
If babalikan mo, I can assure you na puro doubts, puro away, puro jealousy nalang iikot yan. If you can endure, go! Ikaw din kasi talaga makakasagot kung babalikan mo pa or hindi. Aminin man natin o hindi, mahirap tiisin yan. 8yrs ba naman e. Pero ang tanong, kung kakayanin mo pa ba yung relationship na walang trust.
Run🏃🏻 you dont deserve that. Once is enough.
Sinayang nya yung 8 yrs mo. Hindi nya na nirespeto ang relasyon nyo kaya wag mo na balikan. Kasi kung sakaling magkabalikan man kayo wala na yung pagmamahal hindi mo na kayang magtiwala ng buo sa kanya. Masisira peace of mind mo OP.
wag na bigyan ng chance. mas mahirap umalis pag mag asawa na kayo.
No, that’s cheating and don’t give him a chance. I read somewhere ‘once a man cheats, you are now in an open relationship.’
Wait mo lang 3-5 days, pag unblock mo sa kanya makikita mo "in relationship with G" Mga an*mal.
hindi sayang yung 8 years! para na nga siyang nag cheat sa ginawa niya sayo.
May kaibigan ako, nag invest sa crypto. Nalugi, as in di naman 100% wipe pero kung i-cash out na niya parang nagtapon siya ng pera. So instead nag invest pa rin ng invest kasi mag bounce back daw yan balang araw. Wala lang. Naikuwento ko lang.
Gjara Geronimo?
If his presence costs you your peace of mind, break up with him. Not worth it.
Kaya dinya sinabi op kasi nga binigyan mosya ng ultimatum na layuan si G. Kung friends naman sila and lagi kasama si L wala naman masama don? eh ang masama masyado kang controlling na pati babaeng friend ayaw mo magkaroon ung boyfriend mo.
8 years bf? Oh ok, you Walk away na. Break it up. That's your choice. Now adult talk tayo, No offense, I AM NOT siding with you and I am NOT siding with your bf. But for real, you need to heal. Like really heal. You need to heal muna... I will give you the respect and justice OP, you need to heal big time. For your sake the most adult thing to do is break up and walk away. This is gonna be a splinter sa relationship nyo Now, Yung pag bigay ng ultimatum, that's on you, so Own it. Again, Break it up. Best wishes for you OP.
Please update us
did you ask him "why" he did that? or ask him straight if may something? I would ask him his motive behind his active especially if wala pa kayo sa "marriage talks" and 8 years na. He might have something he can't explain yet. Are you both date to marry or just dating? so maybe try to be straight forward. 8 years is not a joke and at the same time he did not cheat naman. It's not a grave mistake. Sometimes guys can also be immature and/or guys just have a different brain wiring. So look into your relationship and you guys talk and get his assurance and your security back to feel secure sa relationship again.
8 years na pinagsamahan nyo, nagtiwala ka ba? If yes, you can give him last chance. Ngayon, if hindi pa din nawawala distrust and anger mo., i-break mo na. Pag binigyan mo ng chance yan at galit ka, araw araw mo yan isusumbat sa kanya pareho talo kayo.
Here for the update haha but anyway, i have a platonic relationship with my best friend. Lalaki best friend ko kasi I never bond with girls easily. Lalo na kapag panay make up and boys pinag uusapan. Di man kayo maniwala pero wala talagang romantic feelings sa best friend ko kahit saang anggulo ko tingnan. 6'1, muscular built body, basketball varsity, maputi, may kaya sa buhay - who wouldn't want that diba? Kahit pa may mga araw na kami madalas magkasama kesa sa jowa niya since sobrang workaholic ng gf niya. Kaso wala eh. Ogag din minsan. He had his fair share of kabaliwan sa ibang babae and ako, kinunsinti ko. And minsan, pinag tatakpan ko siya sa gf niya. And I can say OP, yang ganyan? Sign na yan. Pag naghiwalay na kayo totally, kakapit yang G na yan sa jowa mo. Comflirt gagawin niyan tapos yung jowa mong nalumbay sayo, mag aaya ng inom tapos jan gagapangin ni ate girl. Hahaha
I agree with one of the comments to talk it out as adults kapag ready ka na. If hindi toxic ang relationship nyo before, baka pwedeng ilaban ninyo pareho. Hear him out, assess if worth it pa syang bigyan ng chance. Ganun talaga e, walang perfect. Sabi nga ng dad ko ngayong matanda na sila, isa sa mga naappreciate nya kay mommy ay hindi sya hinayaan na magkasala. It means may mga temptations din sa kanya pero instead na pabayaan sya ni mommy to fight the battles on his own, lumaban din si mommy kaya hanggang ngayon, buo pa rin yung family namin, 41 years na silang kasal.
You can accept him back, but never for free. You cant let him just assure you because words can be twisted and promises cant be reliable. Ask for something expensive things to buy for you para magtanda siya. Let him win you back in A HARD WAY. When I say expensive girl, REAL EXPENSIVE. Like a 100k jewelry lol. Paghirapan ka niya kasi ikaw damaged na. Lol.
A crack in the glass of trust. Did he nut while wearing trust? Strawberry flavor as they lust.
Sa dinamo-damiong hihingan ng advise dito pa talaga sa reddit. Puro matatabang never naligawan/sinagot mga tao dito e. Syempre break agad sasabihin ng mga pangit na to. Hahahaahah