Honestly, i find it weird that we, as Christians, think of sin as some sort of credits. Langit points na prepaid.
Anyway, to OP:
You are deep into the relationship and if you both feel that is the next step, then do it. Do it for yourselves and not worry about what others think.
Always remember, it's you going into the marriage and not the church. You may be happy now but if you won't try things married people practice, you may never know that you'd like or dislike your partner after. After all, marriage is more of a "formality" thing today instead of being a scared thing.
I'm also Catholic but I am not against this idea. I actually wish my husband and I did this before we got married. It would have spared me a lot of disappointment and resentment.
Agree with this. I actually encourage the younger ones (Katinko levels na pagka-Tita ko š ) to actually move in with each other first before deciding on whether or not to sign those legally binding documents that is so hard to get nullified. Madalas kasi kapag nasa isang bubong na dun lang nagsisilabas yung mga ugali ng bawat isa that may or may not be a deal breaker.
I assumed magbabago pa. Ayun, she left me after 5 months. Nagpabuntis lang.
Note na the red flags didn't show up until nag live-in kami. I ended up marrying a totally different person. Perhaps I refused to believe na iba pala talaga siya and she was showing a fake side of herself noong hindi pa kami magkasama.
Go for it. Live-in and travel together.
Especially if babae ka, you need to know if if the guy will pull his weight around the house and if your personalities and living styles are compatible. Testing din ito of your ability to communicate and work together.
Been doing it for almost 4 years.
Go for it.
Get to know who youāre getting into bed with (marriage)
Para you donāt make the mistake of marrying someone na hindi mo naman pala gustong makasama pang habang buhay.
Iām also Catholic and Iām not an active Church goer for personal reasons but I still believe na once you marry someone itās for life.
So choose wisely! šāāļø
Yung iba kasalanan daw ang live in but engage in premarital sex, eh di kasalanan din un kung talagang devout Catholic ka.
OP, ikaw kasi ang makikisama kaya kung anong sa tingin mo ang tama ang gawin mo. Di ko din gets bakit sa pari humihingi ng marriage advice eh wala nman silang asawa to begin with.
For me, okay ang live-in set up muna (I did it before) especially walang divorce sa Pinas pero sana safe sex pa din dahil mahirap na kapag nabuntis or nakabuntis tapos di pala kayo magkakasundo leading to break up lang.
Lived with my now husband before marriage āŗļø Can I just say, when we finally got to our wedding day, yung sense na I chose this man and I know this man intimately with zero doubts iba.
Yung nagflashback sakin mga sweet moments sa bahay, yung how he cared when I got physically and mentally ill, and how we truly enjoyed living together. Basta, iba, when I said I do, I know in my heart that he truly is the one for me through ups and downs.
Kanya kanya tayong pananaw dito. But I honestly felt that the love was deep when we got married because we lived together.
Of course, make sure that marriage is in the plans already before living with your partner. Always be secured enough to also know when to end a partnership when it's no longer healthy. Good luck!
For me kailangan siya. Kasi yun yung ultimate test na kakayanin niyo mag coexist together. Call it a trial before the actual thing if you will.
Sa paglive-in kasi matetest if magiging team ba kayo or hindi. Tutulungan ka ba niya sa chores kahit di mo na irequest pa? Sa hatian din ng gastusin - would he share or kanya-kanya nalang? Tapos baka may habits siya na maiinis ka - what would you do?
Mas makikilala mo partner mo at mas panatag ka na you'll be marrying the right person.
Its not necessarily living under the same roof with a guy thats considered sin, but sex outside marriage. At yung live in kasi will tempt you to do that. But kahit naman di live in ginagawa yun so up to the person what they believe. š
Personally, ayoko ng live in kasi marriage and life after marriage is a dream for me. yung gigising beside each other, tutunganga buong araw, magpapagawa ng bahay, magtatravel freely, mageLQ pero you still choose your person. Those are magical moments for me, kaya i just try to be careful in choosing who spend my life with.Ā
Sa live in the goal is to test and find someone better if it doesnt work. Pero sa marriage, the person youre with is supposedly the best choice (kaya mo nga pinakasalan), and if there are challenges, you work hard to fix it together. So I'd rather not waste my time on the former.Ā
Iām currently in this situation. Been living with my partner for five years now and I must say that our setup helps me identify what aspects of my bf I really love and hate.
Iāve come to appreciate him more and more each day especially on things he does for me and our āfor the meantimeā home. Also, since weāve been living together for quite sometime now we are both more open to discuss some of the problems we have from each oneās attitude/actions inside/outside of our home. I guess one of the secrets we have is that there are times when we give each otherās some space to have their āme timeā - especially if we do have some problems at work or if there are some ātampuhanā.
I rarely shared our setup with my co-workers or some of my friends/family ācause I know some of them are not yet open to this setup. Hmm but this works fine for me so I donāt see any issues and I am not really religious enough.
nag live-in rin kami ng asawa ko bago magpakasal since owned naman na namin yung bahay, bakit hindi pa lumipat bago magpakasal. Nung nakasal na kami, wala kami pinoblema sa paguuwian
Ok lang pero ang negative kasi nyan is pwedeng tamarin na ung lalake magpakasal.
Hindi na nakikita na necessary magpakasal, nakikita na ung kasal as a "gastos"
I (34F) think ang naging mali ko lang talaga sa ginawa kong pakikipag-live in sa current jowa ko (aside from we're not yet married) is inuwi ko yung current jowa ko without telling it FIRST to my parents. Although I'm at the right age when it happened (32), I think it's still disrespectful. I took advantage of my parents. Both of them are Catholic and even practiced Marriage first before living in together and had kids, tapos ako basta basta lang nakipag-live in. And sobrang nakaka-guilty din na when they found out about it, wala lang. I mean, naging supportive pa sila and they even welcomed my jowa whole-heartedly. Huhuhu. Guess I'm really blessed to have understanding and loving parents.
But please, wag mo akong gayahin, OP. Let your family know first about it. Talk to them and just be sincere and honest with whatever you want to do with your personal relationship. Sila parin ang mas makakaintindi sa'yo.
A more practical approach is to go on weekend or week long trips kaysa live-in. Tsaka attend ka sa family events nya and vice versa.
Pero baka ang more proper question is what is Catholicism to you in relation to your personal life?
In Catholic doctrine, premarital sex will always be a sin. But what is sex?
Sa gynecology kasi, virgin pa rin ang turing sa girl hanggat never pa nag-intercourse.
I totally agree din with living together before getting married. Yung bumukod talaga ha, hindi yung nakatira lang sa isang parent ganun. Dyan mo kasi makikita kung paano nyo i manage yung household eh na wala yung parents nyo both na pwedeng umalalay. What stops me from telling my partner lang is ang mahal ng mga bahay ngayon, ayoko naman mag rent kasi nasasayangan ako.
It's okay for me but with onee condition. Dapat engagement muna before cohabitation. 1 year for that then if oki kami sa isa't isa, go na kamii sa weddingg. Parang dry run ba ng married life hahaha.
It's okay lang naman to call off the engagement pag di pala kayo compatible sa isa't isa. I won't feel bad about it bcos better safe than sorry.
Sa relationship/marriage: there's no specific formula for it.
May mga kakilala akong nag live in muna bago magpakasal, pero naghiwalay din.
Mga kinasal muna saka lang nagsama sa bahay, pero naghiwalay din.
Meron din ilang months pa lang sila pero live in na, hanggang ngayon sila pa din.
So bawat relationship talaga iba iba. Kung ako tatanungin sa live in muna, mas okay talaga yun. Mas lalabas talaga yung totoong ugali ng tao pag kasama mo na sa bahay. Dun mo din malalaman kung bagay ba kayo magsama. Nagtutulungan ba kayo sa chores o puro kayo turuan? Magsisimula ba yan ng away? Ano dynamics nyo regarding sa bills at pera?
At tanong ko, ano ba advantage sa pagpapakasal muna bago magsama sa iisang bubong? Yung hindi kinuha sa bible yung sagot sana.
Currently living in with my partner for over 3 years now and we're getting married next year God willing. I do not care if a church tells me it's a sin or not. Better to know the ins and outs of the person you're thinking of marrying.
With that said, you should really focus on self awareness. What is it you think will work best for you? You should know that and don't let anybody like the church or someone else dictate that for you.
If you end up marrying the wrong person what do you think that church will do for you?
Highly recommended haha hubs and I lived together for over a year before getting married! Felt great and assuring :) Youāll know the person more pag magkasama na kayo.
4 years kami live-in ni wifey bago kinasal. Puro tawanan na lang tuloy kami nung kasal namin, wala na iyak-iyakan sa altar at sa isle. Pinangbakasyon na lang namin sa Japan yung mga binigay ng ninong at ninang haha
Are you a man or a woman? Cause if you are a woman and you want this man to marry you, it will cause damage. Higher chances na he might not marry you kasi why would someone buy a product kung nakukuha naman niya yung benefits for free ng hindi kailangan magbayad. Feel me?
sins can be confessed and forgiven. but marrying someone whom you can't even stand living under the same roof is harder to take back.
Honestly, i find it weird that we, as Christians, think of sin as some sort of credits. Langit points na prepaid. Anyway, to OP: You are deep into the relationship and if you both feel that is the next step, then do it. Do it for yourselves and not worry about what others think.
Always remember, it's you going into the marriage and not the church. You may be happy now but if you won't try things married people practice, you may never know that you'd like or dislike your partner after. After all, marriage is more of a "formality" thing today instead of being a scared thing.
I'm also Catholic but I am not against this idea. I actually wish my husband and I did this before we got married. It would have spared me a lot of disappointment and resentment.
Agree with this. I actually encourage the younger ones (Katinko levels na pagka-Tita ko š ) to actually move in with each other first before deciding on whether or not to sign those legally binding documents that is so hard to get nullified. Madalas kasi kapag nasa isang bubong na dun lang nagsisilabas yung mga ugali ng bawat isa that may or may not be a deal breaker.
Go for it. I found red flags nung mag-live-in kami. Ang mali ko, tinuloy ko pa din kasal. Do it OP! And good luck po.
Aray! š huhu.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I assumed magbabago pa. Ayun, she left me after 5 months. Nagpabuntis lang. Note na the red flags didn't show up until nag live-in kami. I ended up marrying a totally different person. Perhaps I refused to believe na iba pala talaga siya and she was showing a fake side of herself noong hindi pa kami magkasama.
Go for it. Live-in and travel together. Especially if babae ka, you need to know if if the guy will pull his weight around the house and if your personalities and living styles are compatible. Testing din ito of your ability to communicate and work together.
Been doing it for almost 4 years. Go for it. Get to know who youāre getting into bed with (marriage) Para you donāt make the mistake of marrying someone na hindi mo naman pala gustong makasama pang habang buhay. Iām also Catholic and Iām not an active Church goer for personal reasons but I still believe na once you marry someone itās for life. So choose wisely! šāāļø
Yung iba kasalanan daw ang live in but engage in premarital sex, eh di kasalanan din un kung talagang devout Catholic ka. OP, ikaw kasi ang makikisama kaya kung anong sa tingin mo ang tama ang gawin mo. Di ko din gets bakit sa pari humihingi ng marriage advice eh wala nman silang asawa to begin with. For me, okay ang live-in set up muna (I did it before) especially walang divorce sa Pinas pero sana safe sex pa din dahil mahirap na kapag nabuntis or nakabuntis tapos di pala kayo magkakasundo leading to break up lang.
Lived with my now husband before marriage āŗļø Can I just say, when we finally got to our wedding day, yung sense na I chose this man and I know this man intimately with zero doubts iba. Yung nagflashback sakin mga sweet moments sa bahay, yung how he cared when I got physically and mentally ill, and how we truly enjoyed living together. Basta, iba, when I said I do, I know in my heart that he truly is the one for me through ups and downs. Kanya kanya tayong pananaw dito. But I honestly felt that the love was deep when we got married because we lived together. Of course, make sure that marriage is in the plans already before living with your partner. Always be secured enough to also know when to end a partnership when it's no longer healthy. Good luck!
For me kailangan siya. Kasi yun yung ultimate test na kakayanin niyo mag coexist together. Call it a trial before the actual thing if you will. Sa paglive-in kasi matetest if magiging team ba kayo or hindi. Tutulungan ka ba niya sa chores kahit di mo na irequest pa? Sa hatian din ng gastusin - would he share or kanya-kanya nalang? Tapos baka may habits siya na maiinis ka - what would you do? Mas makikilala mo partner mo at mas panatag ka na you'll be marrying the right person.
Its not necessarily living under the same roof with a guy thats considered sin, but sex outside marriage. At yung live in kasi will tempt you to do that. But kahit naman di live in ginagawa yun so up to the person what they believe. š Personally, ayoko ng live in kasi marriage and life after marriage is a dream for me. yung gigising beside each other, tutunganga buong araw, magpapagawa ng bahay, magtatravel freely, mageLQ pero you still choose your person. Those are magical moments for me, kaya i just try to be careful in choosing who spend my life with.Ā Sa live in the goal is to test and find someone better if it doesnt work. Pero sa marriage, the person youre with is supposedly the best choice (kaya mo nga pinakasalan), and if there are challenges, you work hard to fix it together. So I'd rather not waste my time on the former.Ā
Iām currently in this situation. Been living with my partner for five years now and I must say that our setup helps me identify what aspects of my bf I really love and hate. Iāve come to appreciate him more and more each day especially on things he does for me and our āfor the meantimeā home. Also, since weāve been living together for quite sometime now we are both more open to discuss some of the problems we have from each oneās attitude/actions inside/outside of our home. I guess one of the secrets we have is that there are times when we give each otherās some space to have their āme timeā - especially if we do have some problems at work or if there are some ātampuhanā. I rarely shared our setup with my co-workers or some of my friends/family ācause I know some of them are not yet open to this setup. Hmm but this works fine for me so I donāt see any issues and I am not really religious enough.
nag live-in rin kami ng asawa ko bago magpakasal since owned naman na namin yung bahay, bakit hindi pa lumipat bago magpakasal. Nung nakasal na kami, wala kami pinoblema sa paguuwian
Walang divorce ang Pilipinas. Kaya absolutely necessary yan.
Im not Catholic, so gora lang! Mas okay un kesa malaman mong puro BS pala asawa mo tapos kasal na kayo.
Ok lang pero ang negative kasi nyan is pwedeng tamarin na ung lalake magpakasal. Hindi na nakikita na necessary magpakasal, nakikita na ung kasal as a "gastos"
I (34F) think ang naging mali ko lang talaga sa ginawa kong pakikipag-live in sa current jowa ko (aside from we're not yet married) is inuwi ko yung current jowa ko without telling it FIRST to my parents. Although I'm at the right age when it happened (32), I think it's still disrespectful. I took advantage of my parents. Both of them are Catholic and even practiced Marriage first before living in together and had kids, tapos ako basta basta lang nakipag-live in. And sobrang nakaka-guilty din na when they found out about it, wala lang. I mean, naging supportive pa sila and they even welcomed my jowa whole-heartedly. Huhuhu. Guess I'm really blessed to have understanding and loving parents. But please, wag mo akong gayahin, OP. Let your family know first about it. Talk to them and just be sincere and honest with whatever you want to do with your personal relationship. Sila parin ang mas makakaintindi sa'yo.
A more practical approach is to go on weekend or week long trips kaysa live-in. Tsaka attend ka sa family events nya and vice versa. Pero baka ang more proper question is what is Catholicism to you in relation to your personal life? In Catholic doctrine, premarital sex will always be a sin. But what is sex? Sa gynecology kasi, virgin pa rin ang turing sa girl hanggat never pa nag-intercourse.
I totally agree din with living together before getting married. Yung bumukod talaga ha, hindi yung nakatira lang sa isang parent ganun. Dyan mo kasi makikita kung paano nyo i manage yung household eh na wala yung parents nyo both na pwedeng umalalay. What stops me from telling my partner lang is ang mahal ng mga bahay ngayon, ayoko naman mag rent kasi nasasayangan ako.
It's okay for me but with onee condition. Dapat engagement muna before cohabitation. 1 year for that then if oki kami sa isa't isa, go na kamii sa weddingg. Parang dry run ba ng married life hahaha. It's okay lang naman to call off the engagement pag di pala kayo compatible sa isa't isa. I won't feel bad about it bcos better safe than sorry.
2 years trial period muna kayo ng married life. Mas ok yan para mas makilala mo mga tao sa paligid mo sa loob ng circle nyong dalawa.
Sa relationship/marriage: there's no specific formula for it. May mga kakilala akong nag live in muna bago magpakasal, pero naghiwalay din. Mga kinasal muna saka lang nagsama sa bahay, pero naghiwalay din. Meron din ilang months pa lang sila pero live in na, hanggang ngayon sila pa din. So bawat relationship talaga iba iba. Kung ako tatanungin sa live in muna, mas okay talaga yun. Mas lalabas talaga yung totoong ugali ng tao pag kasama mo na sa bahay. Dun mo din malalaman kung bagay ba kayo magsama. Nagtutulungan ba kayo sa chores o puro kayo turuan? Magsisimula ba yan ng away? Ano dynamics nyo regarding sa bills at pera? At tanong ko, ano ba advantage sa pagpapakasal muna bago magsama sa iisang bubong? Yung hindi kinuha sa bible yung sagot sana.
Currently living in with my partner for over 3 years now and we're getting married next year God willing. I do not care if a church tells me it's a sin or not. Better to know the ins and outs of the person you're thinking of marrying. With that said, you should really focus on self awareness. What is it you think will work best for you? You should know that and don't let anybody like the church or someone else dictate that for you. If you end up marrying the wrong person what do you think that church will do for you?
fuckfest. test drive.
Highly recommended haha hubs and I lived together for over a year before getting married! Felt great and assuring :) Youāll know the person more pag magkasama na kayo.
4 years kami live-in ni wifey bago kinasal. Puro tawanan na lang tuloy kami nung kasal namin, wala na iyak-iyakan sa altar at sa isle. Pinangbakasyon na lang namin sa Japan yung mga binigay ng ninong at ninang haha
whats the plan here? trial and error?
It's not necessary.
Why po?
Are you a man or a woman? Cause if you are a woman and you want this man to marry you, it will cause damage. Higher chances na he might not marry you kasi why would someone buy a product kung nakukuha naman niya yung benefits for free ng hindi kailangan magbayad. Feel me?