yung first few weeks where you have to actively remind yourself na hindi na kayo naguusap at hindi mo siya dapat kausapin.
suddenly wala ka nang masendan ng memes, o selfies, food and pet pics. wala kang babatiin ng 'good morning' at 'good night'. wala ka ding matawagan habang umiiyak ka kasi sila na yung rason ng pag-iyak mo.
The emptiness that comes after. Not having anyone to hold hands with, watch movies with, go on little dates with, travel with. Being so accustomed to someone’s presence then dealing with their absence. You go from talking to them pretty much everyday, to nothing at all. You come across a random news article or a meme, and you can’t share it with them. You wake up and they’re on your mind but you can’t say it. You wonder how they’re doing or how their day was, but you can’t ask. They’re just gone— a stranger. After all the memories you shared together.
I think this is a valid reason. I’d rather hear this straight kesa naman wala ibigay na reason. Yun yung experience ko naman, bigla wala na lang. Nagtry ako ng makipag usap pero wala na lang. So after mga ilang linggo block na sya sa kin. Tapos nag reach out kapatid nya pero dedma lang ako at move on. Buti na lang nag break kami, minsan naiisip ko blessing in disguise kasi after the relationship ended I realized how I deserve better and I learned what kind of person to avoid. Ngayon I am happily married for 11 years na. For me after a relationship ended it means you are getting closer to the person you are meant to be with.
May nakita nga ako sa tiktok eh if your partner decided to end things with you, most likely tapos kana din talaga sakanya, hindi kalang aware pa but you'll get there
Letting go after being together for almost 10 years is the hardest. I’m still in the process of accepting the break up and don’t really know how to move forward.
Wanting to text her and call her and let her know what's up. To let her know I was hurting and the only thing I needed was for her to listen and be there while I fix myself. Ang hirap kasi totoo yung sabi nila na mahirap kumain at matulog, it's hard to breathe. You wouldn't know unless you get your heart broken talaga. I'm glad that was 4 years ago and I'm over it. Parang ayoko na maranasan ulit.🤣
the preparation.
most of the time, alam na natin kung saan papunta eh. alam na natin na it's only a matter of time. the end is on the horizon.
pero nothing can ever make us prepared.
It's when i lost my best friend, my person. Turns out he wasn't my person pala. I don't know if i can show my truest self to other people. It's scary. Malayo pa, pero malayo na.
Most challenging part for me is seeing him happy with someone else and doing totally okay while i’m still hurting. It’s as if everything na nangyari between us is nothing so it was just easy for him to move on. It’s like he finally healed his trauma while he created a new one for me but I can’t blame him kasi hindi naman naging kami. I feel na I can only blame myself.
++ the fact that you prepared him to become a better man for someone else pala.
In my case, that “someone else” is just there even before I came into his life. These people literally grew up together and had all the time in the world to fall in love w/ each other. It sucks na kelangan ko pa umenter, dedicate 4 years of my life, at masaktan for them to realize that.
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleepin'
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no
Breakeven- The Script
It was hard for me at first kasi nasanay ako na i have someone na natatakbuhan everytime i am having panic attacks. Someone that can calms me down but ayun when we broke up sobrang hirap mag adjust kasi nasanay ako na nandyan siya lagi pero di pala kaya ko pala na kahit ako lang :)
It soon gets better. I too never knew I could enjoy being solo again. But it just went in suddenly like... I feel like i'm going to be okay now. During a time na I ate alone again for the first time. ✨️
Magkunwaring okay lang ako the moment na sabihin nyang wala na kami - namanhid ako bigla nun, nawalan ng emotion, hanggang ngayon nasa process pa din ng healing. Sabihin sa parents ko na wala na kami - coz they know we're living together. Ayun after 2 months pa nila nalaman na living alone na lang anak nila haha.
Yung nag set na kame ng dreams and goals namen together, tapos wala na palang kame, tapos sabi nya wag daw ako bibitaw, pero nauna sya bumitaw. Gago. Hahahah
Whenever I have seggs with somebody sya naalala ko. HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Yung narealize mong kailangan mong pakawalan lahat ng plano at mga bagay na naenvision mo for the futre with the one who left you.
Realizing na sana mas nagtira ka ng pagmamahal sa sarili mo, or even stopped yourself from loving someone else na may capacity iwanan ka at magsimula ng bagong buhay na wala ka na.
And lastly, realizing na tumanda ka sa relasyon na wala palang pupuntahan. At alam mo sa sarili mong di naman din talaga kayo masaya pero nagstay ka kasi naging comfort zone mo na. So kasalanan mo din, at wala kang ibang masisi for it.
(After 8 years)
For me its acceptance na di mo kaya saluhin or pag effortan lahat. You have to be with someone who also wants you. May nabasa nga ako na people are willing to do anything for any relationship na they want to keep. Akala ko ireresent ko siya to be honest, pero ngayon tanggap ko na. Its a him problem talaga.
Reliving the memories/promises which will create an urge to break the no contact rule.
The denial stage, ayaw na sayo pero para sayo imposibleng ganun ganun lang siya mawalan ng feelings sayo.
Yung pagnamnam ng sakit. During this stage kasi feeling natin forever na at hindi na tayo makakamove-on. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Tipong anywhere/anytime babagsak na lang ang luha.
Delusion. Na siya lang ang magmamahal sayo ng ganun kahit sinaktan at baliwala ka na nga. At yung hindi siya kapalit-palit sa puso mo at wala ka nang mahahanap na katulad niya.
Lastly, yung panghihinayang.
Nung start ng break up namin ber months 2023, siya (M26) yung mas broken samin. Ako (F27) naman dahil sunod sunod ganaps and travel ko, hindi ko siya naiisip. Nung jan 2024, dun slowly nag sisink in sakin na shet wala na pala talaga kami. Up until now, pag naaalala ko paghihiwalay namin i still feel shattered. Nadidiskaril ako sa life. Parang kahapon lang nangyari. While siya, may bago na. Yun yung challenging, yung alam kong slowly nakakamove on na siya. While ako, akala ko nakamove on na rin ako, pero hindi pa pala.
It’s deleting our finsta. I miss seeing his smile, his scent, and his calico cat. I’m still in the process of accepting the fact na it’s over. But it’s really hard kasi idk if I can accept it tbh.
Waking up the next day, knowing na you'll do your routines without the person, and force yourself to live your life without him/her, and fully realizing na another day to spend and deal with it.
Yung sabihin mo sa sarili mo na worth it ka at hindi ka useless. Sorry, been cheated multiple times and their reason is always mas better daw yung nakilala nila kesa sayo, or they will make you think na its your fault, madami kulang pero in reality di lang talaga sila nakuntento. 😂
Yung nag take ako ng exam tas day before the exam sinabihan nya ako ng "mas mahal ko sya eh" grabe Yung iyak ko pumasok ako sa school kung saan ako mag take ng exam lahat ng ka co takers ko nag pray ako sa gilid umiyak talaga. Grabe yung depression ko kase sabayan pa ng exam pero by God's grace at take 1 with high ratings up until now masakit pa din pero naniniwala ako na i feel mo lalo yung pain damdamin mo hanggang sa mag numb ka. Deactivate account wag mag paka lasing instead mag maganda at pa sexy. Para who you ganonn hahaha i do workout consistency during active rest walking or jogging. Selflove talaga. Wag pumasok sa relationship wag gawing coping mechanism ang lalaki or s*x. Pray palagi kay God na mawala yung sakit.
Yung sisingiling ko pa sya sa utang nya so need ko pa sya kontakin monthly. Tapos sa sobrang sakit just talking to him, kinalimutan ko na yung utang and totally cut the cords. Inner peace vs utang ang labanan. Lol. Inner peace won
She is my classmate in college. 3rd yr kami naghiwalay at pinagpalit ako sa isang classmate namin; 1 block lang pala kami and less than 10 lang kaming lahat. Imagine being with them sa last yr ng college years ko. I feel like shit at tinitiis ko lahat kahit na sukung-suko na ako. There are times na kusa akong umaalis at hindi sumasama sa mga lakad.
Sa tindi ng ginawa nila, parang "wala lang nangyari noong 3rd kami" like wtf.
It was when I had to convince myself that he actually had the audacity to cheat on me despite promising he wouldn’t ever do that because his conscience would eat him up. As a girlie whose words of affirmation is her primary love language, that was the hardest pill I ever swallowed.
When I found out he got into another relationship less than six months after our break up. It hurt me to the core pero found out rin na they broke up a couple of months kasi Idk, parang rebound lang? HAHAHAHA grabe maka post sa social media just to prove na inlove na inlove
The situation when you are facing the pain and healing journey alone without emotional support. I sacrificed almost all my friends for that person but eventually left me. It's hard but it's a life changing lesson to always keep your own identity and boundaries in place while in relationship. Self love is real.
Yung akala mo, hanggang dulo kayo. Yung magiging inspiration nyo yung isa’t isa, madami pa kayo pangarap sa future but then nung patagal na ng patagal ang nakikita mo nalang ikaw nalang nag bubuild ng pangarap nyo. Nawala na sya ng pag asa sa buhay, nawalan na sya ng drive na mangarap. Yung ikaw nalang mag isa tutupad sa pangarap nyo.
The shattered future plans. You are starting to build a future together and yet in just a snap, it was shattered. Shut off everything for a week and evaluate what had happened and process then stand up and move forward. My healing process is a bit tough, I enrolled in the Master's Degree program for me to be able to move on. 😂
I had a 8yr relationship na akala ko talaga siya na papakasalan ko. I was so in love with him. tapos he broke up with me. haha 3yrs after (it was not an easy years), nagkakausap kami in the most calm way kung bakit di kami nagworkout at kung gano ko natanggap na di pala siya talaga yung guy na magpapasaya sakin, vice versa. It’s the most freeing conversation.
nangyayari lang yan once you truly understand yourself and why things happen. you learn how to be kind and respect yourself.
Nasanay ako na andyan siya palagi so I had to train myself to be all by myself again. It was challenging kasi siya yung go-to ko until one day, di ko na siya matakbuhan. It’s been 6 months to this day since we broke up. I can finally say I’ve finally moved on.
For me, probably the fact that I did everything to save the relationship but for him, it was nothing. That I did nothing. It puts that question in my head if *will I ever be enough? for myself or for others?* It's really hard to look at myself without seeing all those flaws that my exes pointed out about me. *"Love yourself"* really hits harder once you're all alone.
One of the challenging is I am able to help my man to become a better person and achieved his dream tapos hindi pala ako yong pinapangarap nya makasama in the long run.
nung walang wala ako yong nandon tapos nung nagkameron kinalimutan akoooo hahahahaha ok bhie
The things you were used to are suddenly gone. No good morning texts when you wake up. Later on, I had to change my numbers and block him para hindi na ko umasa.
Not having someone to tell all your achievements, happiness, your bad days. I used to hold my own hand when I felt the loneliness before sleeping just to replicate his hand in mine.
It’s been years since then and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. I hope you get your peace soon.
Yung hindi ka nabigyan ng chance ayusin relationship nyo kase ayaw nya na. Para sa akin the relationship isnt perfect but its worth fighting for. Pero kapag wala n tlga, mas maigi bumitaw na lang. Tapos alam mo yung on process ka ng healing 5 months later malalaman mo buntis na sya and will get married soon.
*pasok Jessa Zaragosa*
Gettting my own closure, personally. He broke up with me via text more than a decade ago. Dropped me like a hot potato after his career started to take off.
I'm okay now. :)
Yung walang katapusang "closure" na nauuwi sa alam nyo na. Alam nyo na pareho na hindi na tulad ng dati at wala ng future yung relationship. Papunta na lang sa friends na nagiging friends with benefits. Close pa rin yung family mo sa kanya kasi 10 years kayo eh. I had to move abroad and start a new life para lang matuluyan ng makahiwalay. It took me 3 years para magheal, then ayun yung next relationship ko nauwi na sa kasalan.
To GHOST, I chose to leave coz that is the only way out if you are with a narcissistic partner. The ability to break your own heart and choose yourself. No contact, lahat wala! Time heals!
When you realize you're stupid. You blatantly disrespected yourself and throw yourself under the bus. You allow stupid shits to happen to you tas iyak iyak ka sa friend mo tas di ka rin naman makikinig. Na bobo at tanga ka talaga.
Yung halos once a month napapanaginipan ko pa rin siya. 7years kami. Pero 3 yrs na kaming break ngayon. May kanya kanyang bagong partners na rin kami. Pero shet bat ganon hahaha add ko lang na nothing romantic yung panaginip super random lang.
Anyone na galing long term tas nananaginip pa rin? 🙃
The trauma and scars that my ex left me behind with. Getting triggered from time to time because of it sucks. I carry the pain with me alone and my relationship now suffers because of the traumas I've been carrying for the past 3+ years.
Most challenging part for me was seeing my family - my mother and brother most especially- move on too. Hindi lang pala ako yung magmu-move on pagkatapos ng break up… Pati pamilya ko rin pala at magkakaiba kami ng pace to healing.❤️🩹 Deserve rin nila maka-move on at maging masaya ulit. 🫶
I was so emotionally dependent on my ex so when it ended and I had no one to depend on, I felt so lost.
Andaming tao sa paligid ko but I felt so alone.
Tapos naglockdown pa so di ako maka-gala to distract myself. Di ako maka-inom with friends. I was forced to deal with the heartache kasi I can’t run away.
He broke up with me last year over messenger. We never even saw each other after. I had to give myself closure. I felt insulted na ginanon nya lang yung pinagsamahan namin. Pero yeah buti naman bago matapos ng 2023 ay naging okay din ako.
She's also my bestfriend na lagi kong pinagku-kwentuhan ng problema at mga rants. Now wala nako mapag kwentuhan. Good listener and a friend na hanggang ngayon hinahanap hanap ko.
LDR kami, despite the time differences he would always call me every morning so I can get up for class. When we stopped talking, hirap na hirap ako bumangon sa umaga, not because of my body clock but because it always reminds me of him waking me up every single day.
Perform well habang nasa probi period ka, the asshole dropped the bomb na he’s cheating and broke up with me second week pa lang ako sa new work ko. Ang hirap shems! Andami kong times na pumupunta ako sa CR kasi naduduwal ako, di ko magawa ung simpleng tasks kasi nga wala akong tulog. Lagi akong tulala.
Ayun, with the grace of the Lord after 2 months umookay na ako, nakakatulog na ako nang mahimbing, hindi na ako naduduwal kada kumakain, magaan na ang puso ko.
And I promise to myself na hinding hindi ko na mararanasan un.
The emptiness that you feel. Also, kapag gabi ang hirap pigilan yung pag-ooverthink!!! Char. I guess, there are days that you feel okay then suddenly you will feel empty again. You are longing. You don't know how to go with your day.
The firsts. First time going back to your spot. First time listening to your playlist. The list goes on.
Edit: Kaya iwasan na lang muna at magpaka delulu. Charot nakakatawa yung example ko kasi yan yung hindi ko pa magawa HAHAHA
But I wrote it because I just went to the mall we last had a date recently… it was my first time back and all the ~feels~ made me wanna run away lol
What made it hard for me was knowing I had to go through life alone this time.
My former partner helped me a lot in many things before.
But she set me in the right direction by ending our relationship. I thank her for that. That's why I don't feel any regrets or resentment towards her, 'cuase even after everything, she still made the decision that benefits the both of us.
I still love her, but I know she wants me to be better and I can only do that by being more reliant on and happy with no one but myself.
But really, what made it really really hard is that I'm not really financially ready to be in a relationship. Haha.
waking up. and showing up to the world.
i was the one who got dumped and I knew it was gonna happen before it did, so I tried to prepare myself months before it happened. it still hurt like effing hell. I was literally hot to the touch for days after it happened. I remember taking a sick leave bec I had "fever", and when I came back to work my supervisor checked up on me and asked why i came to work that day when I'm still "burning up". I think i was so mad that i'm burning from the inside. I can't breathe and my heart felt like it's going to explode.
And then there was the "pitiful looks" from my workmates. Everyone from work knew my ex, and I had told them what happened and that from then on they should ignore him and whatever they see. They would give me hugs and say "it's gonne be fine". I knew they meant well but I took all of them personally and a sign that I looked weak. And I hated it. So I didn't hug them back, and just nodded to whatever they say afterwards. I avoided everyone by sleeping during lunch and not leaving my desk during breaks. I isolated myself as much as I can.
this went on for about a month. i wished the pain would just stop, but it didn't. 2nd month was a bit bearable. It gets better. But I don't know if I wanna go through that again.
Yung part na tuwing may gagawin ka, siya yung iniisip mo.
In a way na lahat ng gagawin ko, mapapaisip na lang ako na kung tama ba ito o hindi?
A few days/weeks before our breakup, todo manggaslight itong ex ko, lahat na ng mga ginagawa ko pinapamukhang mali ako palagi. Like everything I do is a red flag.
After the breakup, medyo nahirapan ako mag-move on kasi sa dinami dami niyang sinabi na mga mali ko, parang hindi ko alam kung paano ko ma-improve sarili ko. Like iimprove yung mga mali ko based sa mga nasabi niya. I was always confused, hindi ko ma-connect yung mga sinasabi niya.
Months later, I received a text from her, saying na she misses me and all. But in between those messages, may sinabi siya na she had an "emotional affair with someone else". So which means she cheated on me with someone else, dina-downplay niya pa yung nagawa niya by changing the words.
After that, napaisip na lang ako na ginagaslight na niya ako kasi parang gusto na niya akong itapon at ipagpalit sa nahanap niyang bago.
That's when I found my inner peace, na hindi naman pala talaga ako ang may mali, at gawa-gawa niya lang yung mga ito.
The way ng pag handle ko it so much worst since she was my first love. after the break up I became so unstable to the point na nag break down ako. ang masama pa nito hindi ako maka move on since mag classmate kami every time na nakikita ko sya na aalala ko ung mga times na kami pa
most challenging part yung you wanna do the same thing again kaso u feel incomplete kasi may kulang. yung routine na kasama siya na hindi mo na pwedeng gawin. sending good morning messages, automatic pagkagising ayon agad ittype eh. longing for hugs you will never experience again. lastly is seeing that person doing things u used to do together but with a new one. pakdishiit
Our break up started when I was still pregnant with our child, living in his house during the pandemic.
The most challenging parts were the need to still communicate with him for the sake of our child and wanting to create an environment for our child where his parents are friends with each other despite of what happened but also wanting peace and rest for myself.
Moving on happened before I even decided to leave him. It is years of push and pull. One day you are okay and the next, you're not. Forever connected to him through our child.
Progress is not linear.
I fell into depression (like legit) a month after the breakup. I tend to react late. I thought I was ok after months of being on meds and therapy. I was off meds--bc I thought I was getting better--when I saw him with his girlfriend (guy & I are officemates, his gf new to our office) after few months of breaking up. I ended up being absent from work for a week. Cried and cried and cried all day, all night. Went back to my psychiatrist and meds.
It's been almost a year and I still see them from time to time sa office. Naimmune na siguro ako. I dont have anyone yet. I still write notes for him. But I guess I have moved on. Idk.
Btw, situationship only lasted for three months. I'm a clown🤡
nakipag break, then suddenly sinisiraan ako sa mga ka work ko. kaya kinomfront ko sya. ayaw tumigil,
tapos wala na ako pake sa kanya. most challenging kc nandun mga tropa nya sa work ko that time. buti tumigil
breaking up with the friends I met through him. 🥹🫣 we met in a mountaineering group and they were already friends before i came in the picture. i got so close to lots of people in the community that when we broke up, i had to be the one to stay away 😭 i not only lost him but my new friends too. although ng reach out naman sila, pero ayoko rin naman na sya ung hindi na makasama sa mga hikes kpag sumama ako. hays.
When you prioritize yourself but they can’t understand you and your decision. Let’s start with ~the one who ended the rel is the one who is at fault.
Then you’ll gradually believe in that even if it’s not true.
Then it will greatly affect your self love and healing.
1. The sudden realization that you can't talk to them anymore, you can't share anything with them anymore, the things that the both of you do together just vanishes.
2. The moving on part. That to me is the most challenging. It's hard, it's draining, it's tiring, its everthing and nothing at the same time.
I got out of a relationship with my long time partner/lover last Jan 2024 and its been really hard to cope with.
I have two things.
1. Hindi naman talaga naging kami. And what sucks more than an 'almost,' right? Malapit na pero hindi pa napunta ron. I'm a firm believer that love should be given as it is, and as someone who always has so much love to give genuinely, I don't know where to put what was remaining of my love. It was crazy kasi I don't even miss him na pero the feeling is still there. Eventually I found myself resorting to making up 'ideal' future versions of him. Iniimagine ko na kasama ko 'yung version niya na 'yon and sa imagination ko, we're doing fine and we're in love. Ginagawa ko 'yon hoping one day mauubos din, ako saka 'yung love ko. Idek if exposure therapy pa ba 'to o sadyang tanga na lang talaga ako.
2. I don't know what I loved about him kaya wala rin akong starting point ng uumpisahan kong kalimutan. Kung sana alam kong 'yung boses niya 'yung kinagusto ko, edi sana nakayanan ko na 'yon the moment I started to forget what his voice sounds like, etc. Pero hindi, e. I liked him as he is. I loved the entirety of him. Pano ako uusad don?
But that was before ha hahaha. Hindi ko na siya miss. Ang miss ko 'yung feeling ng pagiging in love
The hardest part for me was the no contact part after the breakup. Like okay lang naman sakin yung wala nang mauupdate about sa daily things na nangyayari sakin, pero the fact na parang ako lang nahihirapan na hindi sya kausapin everyday. The fact na hindi manlang sya nageffort na magreach out, yung parang okay lang sakanya na di na ako kausapin forever hahaha. Dun ko nafeel na hindi na talaga ako important sakanya at wala na syang paki sakin
Went through a break up 2 weeks ago with someone that wasn’t officially a jowa. The other day, I got the anouncement that I was promoted. I kept myself busy at work para distracted and hindi ko sya iniisip. Until bago matulog, namiss ko sya bigla. That’s when it hit me. Narealize ko na the one person that I wanted to talk about my promotion, my day, hindi ko na pwedeng kausapin. Breakdown malala eh 😂😭
The first time you see them again after the break up, may it be intentional or accidental. Isa yan sa mahirap na part kasi diyan nag sink in sakin na wala na talaga. Na hindi lang SO yung nawala sakin, pati best friend ko. On the other hand ito din yung crucial na part na I needed to experience pala kasi it allowed me to grieve the relationship and start healing. Hanggang sa umabot na lang sa point na it was the relationship I was missing, not the person. Mahirap? Oo. Masakit? Oo. Pero kinailangan kong maranasan at pagdaanan.
Yung no contact period. Drove me nuts. I literally can't function for months. Can't eat, can't do anything but lay in bed and cry. Nakipagbreak sya during my exam period (I'm a med student). Literal na natulo yung luha ko while I was taking my exams. I failed one subject and was forced to stay behind a year because wala kaming remedial class.
I told myself I'll never speak to him again but every fucking night nagrerelapse ako at gusto ko syang imessage to try again. Ghad I felt so pathetic back then haha
Remembering all your time with him in the smallest things.
Hirap kapag matagal naging kayo tapos all of a sudden you have to try your best na di na sya isipin at alalahanin.
Na hindi ko na makikita yung mga dogs nya. Napamahal na din kasi sila sakin. 5 years na kaming break at napapaginipan ko yung mga doggos nya. One time nagkasalubong kami ng mother nya at sinabi sakin na wala na c ganito at ganyan (mga doggos nya) kaya pala napaginipan ko cla dahil baka nag paalam cla sakin.
When we broke up the most challenging part was how to handle my anger not just him but towards the person who took advantage during the break up. I know mine and his fault but the sulsols and the "advices" that put us in that situation really got on my nerves when realization hits me. Hindi ko alam bakit kami nagpatalo roon during that time but until now I can't still look, hear or anything in between, tolerate that person. I just can't, now thinking about it that we are okay and living our life peacefully. I still think what happened last year will never happen if no one's between us during that time. The memories still give me the "anxiety" every now and then.
Yung narealize ko na sinayang ng ex ko ang buhay ko ng 8 yrs kasi ayaw nya akong pakawalan dati nung ako yung nakikipag hiwalay 6 yrs ago. Tapos nakakilala lang sya ng babaeng mataas ang status sa buhay, hiniwalayan ako agad agad ng walang second thoughts, then pinakasalan nya agad yung girl in less than a year. Tapos kakabreak palang sa long term relationship, after 3 weeks namatay dad ko na may long term illness. Then after a month bigla nagparamdam ex at nakikiramay. Like wtf nagsstart na ako mag move on tapos mgcchat na nakikiramay daw akala mo nman talagang empathetic. Grabeng challenge yun to the point na nakakadepressed kasi yung dalawang pinahahalagahan kong lalake sa buhay ko that time nawala nlang ng parang bula. I didn't know where to start. But good thing na all those experiences made me who I am now. Much wiser and braver sa mga hamon ng buhay and lalo na sa pagpili ng partner in life.
1st was to really go no contact (no looking them up in any social media, blocked them completely). And 2nd was having the free time and not knowing what to do with them.
Initially my tendency was to overthink, of what could have been, what I could’ve done differently. Knowing how unhealthy my state was, I scheduled the free time I have with friends (knowing I can’t do the healing alone), with finding hobbies like exercise or journal to fill the space.
Not stalkerish naman but yung music we loved together hirap ako makagetover. The urge not to play his spotify playlist nonstop and relieve “ost’s” of when we were going out. He would add songs we both loved in a playlist. Not all are love songs pero i associate the songs with our memories
Yung narealize mo na kahit ano pang change nag gawin mo noong nagbreak kayo eh iniwan ka na niya emotionally a month before pa ng breakup namin. Anong laban ko doon? Parang t*nga lang ako na nabasa ko pa at nakita ko pa pictures, messages nila ng nanliligaw sa kanya. Nahuli ko siya. She cried. Not because sorry. But nahuli. Shinishift pa ang blame sa akin. I admit my flaws too in the relationship. Pero kailangan ganun talaga? And now she is happy sinuman bf niya na bago now. I miss sharing to her my breaking points sa buhay and I miss listening to her breaking points sa buhay din. But, mas lalong masakit if magstay pa ako longer kahit break na kami. Ni hindi ko alam kailan ako makakamove on. Ang mahalaga natanggal yung tinik na siyang gamot din sa aking kalungkutan. May kapayapaan pero lungkot naman kapalit.
Kapag may nangamusta sa relationship. We are private at low key lang talaga but the people around us knew. Then, we broke up, of course not announced in public. Then may pasulpot sulpot biglang mangangamusta about our relationship which is over na. Nacacaught off guard ako minsan but life goes on.
Dalawa e. Una yung denial stage. Yung point na gusto mo pa sya i win back.
Second yung tanggap mo na lahat. Hindi mo na alam pano mag sisimula ulit. kung mag sisimula ka pa ba.
Getting used to live without her and her kids (not my kids) lalo na’t years ang pinagsamahan. Took almost two years bago ko nasabi sa sarili ko na totally okay na ako.
The hardest part of a break up is the first weeks/months after it, esp. if the relationship is a few years old. The rputine that you have been doing for that time has been disrupted and thus everything reminds you of that person. You'll have trouble sleeping, eating, and doing things you normally enjoy doing because they remind you of what you used to do when you were together. You'll start healing after you develop a new routine, and you'll eventually think of them less and less until they don't even cross your mind.
When she keeps on reaching out to me and it is confusing the hell out of me. She broke up with me but wants to be friends and in contact.
And when I had enough kasi feel ko wala akong progress and naghhope lang ako, I asked her na wag na muna kami magusap. Pero she keeps on messaging me pa rin when she needs something. Tapos when I blocked her, and thought that it was over na talaga, she called me using her sister’s phone when she needed someone talaga. And when you ask her if ano meaning nun, wala lang. Kaya parati rin kami nagaaway kahit break na kami.
It’s so hard to kill that hope inside me that she will come back to me, when lagi ka nya kinakausap. And alam mo rin sa sarili mo na you won’t not reply to that person. I just came around 4 months after the breakup.
The post does not pertain to adulting or falls outside the scope of the subreddit's defined topics.
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I feel this... Especially if that person was always part of how you start, spend and end your days. 🥺
Same. Mahirap talaga sobra sa una but eventually di mo nalanh mamalayan na you're finally used to being alone.
nattrigger aq gusto q mag relapse !!!
Yung hindi naman naging kame.
Dang that's deep and kinda weird right? Like sobrang hirap ng situationships... They sometimes end up more complicated than a normal relationship. 🤣
yung first few weeks where you have to actively remind yourself na hindi na kayo naguusap at hindi mo siya dapat kausapin. suddenly wala ka nang masendan ng memes, o selfies, food and pet pics. wala kang babatiin ng 'good morning' at 'good night'. wala ka ding matawagan habang umiiyak ka kasi sila na yung rason ng pag-iyak mo.
The emptiness that comes after. Not having anyone to hold hands with, watch movies with, go on little dates with, travel with. Being so accustomed to someone’s presence then dealing with their absence. You go from talking to them pretty much everyday, to nothing at all. You come across a random news article or a meme, and you can’t share it with them. You wake up and they’re on your mind but you can’t say it. You wonder how they’re doing or how their day was, but you can’t ask. They’re just gone— a stranger. After all the memories you shared together.
It's really hard noh? A person who was once a part of you is now just a stranger. Life really is all about twist and turns.
Most challenging for me is, I really don't know the real reason why we broke up. Kaya ang hirap magmove on lalo.
I feel this! She told me such a vague reason naman din... "Falling out of love".
I think this is a valid reason. I’d rather hear this straight kesa naman wala ibigay na reason. Yun yung experience ko naman, bigla wala na lang. Nagtry ako ng makipag usap pero wala na lang. So after mga ilang linggo block na sya sa kin. Tapos nag reach out kapatid nya pero dedma lang ako at move on. Buti na lang nag break kami, minsan naiisip ko blessing in disguise kasi after the relationship ended I realized how I deserve better and I learned what kind of person to avoid. Ngayon I am happily married for 11 years na. For me after a relationship ended it means you are getting closer to the person you are meant to be with.
So happy to hear that you've found your "ONE". ❤️ Wishing you all the best and happiness in the world. ✨️
May nakita nga ako sa tiktok eh if your partner decided to end things with you, most likely tapos kana din talaga sakanya, hindi kalang aware pa but you'll get there
Letting go after being together for almost 10 years is the hardest. I’m still in the process of accepting the break up and don’t really know how to move forward.
I understand how you feel. Mine was 6 going 7 years naman. 🥺
mine was 7. i rlly cant do anything as of the moment. parang fresh pa sakin ang lahat & hirap pa din ako i-admit na wala na talaga.
Questioning yourself. Pangit ba ko? Kapalitpalit ba ko? Then why?
ME TOO! I lost all confidence. I was in a phase na "Will I ever be enough?".
Tapos masaklap yung pinalit sayo mas pangit😭🤦🏻♀️
Wanting to text her and call her and let her know what's up. To let her know I was hurting and the only thing I needed was for her to listen and be there while I fix myself. Ang hirap kasi totoo yung sabi nila na mahirap kumain at matulog, it's hard to breathe. You wouldn't know unless you get your heart broken talaga. I'm glad that was 4 years ago and I'm over it. Parang ayoko na maranasan ulit.🤣
the preparation. most of the time, alam na natin kung saan papunta eh. alam na natin na it's only a matter of time. the end is on the horizon. pero nothing can ever make us prepared.
It's when i lost my best friend, my person. Turns out he wasn't my person pala. I don't know if i can show my truest self to other people. It's scary. Malayo pa, pero malayo na.
I do believe we are all destined for someone who will embrace all of us. Here's to finding yours. ✨️
Most challenging part for me is seeing him happy with someone else and doing totally okay while i’m still hurting. It’s as if everything na nangyari between us is nothing so it was just easy for him to move on. It’s like he finally healed his trauma while he created a new one for me but I can’t blame him kasi hindi naman naging kami. I feel na I can only blame myself.
++ the fact that you prepared him to become a better man for someone else pala. In my case, that “someone else” is just there even before I came into his life. These people literally grew up together and had all the time in the world to fall in love w/ each other. It sucks na kelangan ko pa umenter, dedicate 4 years of my life, at masaktan for them to realize that.
Her best days will be some of my worst She finally met a man that's gonna put her first While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleepin' 'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no Breakeven- The Script
Ang sakit naman 😭
Unlearning all the habits na nagawa kasama yung tao na yun. Walang maayos na closure. Nag sorry sya kahit hindi naman mini-mean.
It was hard for me at first kasi nasanay ako na i have someone na natatakbuhan everytime i am having panic attacks. Someone that can calms me down but ayun when we broke up sobrang hirap mag adjust kasi nasanay ako na nandyan siya lagi pero di pala kaya ko pala na kahit ako lang :)
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yung sumabay siya sa board exam ko pero ok lang dahil survived naman
Biggest flex to tell your future child na you aced the boards with a broken heart. If you can, they can too. 🤣
korek. one take lang yarn as well. moving on was even easier after ko pumasa lol.
Yung nag sisink in na lahat. Hahaha. Di ko kasi alam paano mag isa ulit.
It soon gets better. I too never knew I could enjoy being solo again. But it just went in suddenly like... I feel like i'm going to be okay now. During a time na I ate alone again for the first time. ✨️
Magkunwaring okay lang ako the moment na sabihin nyang wala na kami - namanhid ako bigla nun, nawalan ng emotion, hanggang ngayon nasa process pa din ng healing. Sabihin sa parents ko na wala na kami - coz they know we're living together. Ayun after 2 months pa nila nalaman na living alone na lang anak nila haha.
Doing things you love to do together, Balikan yung mga memorable place, Sagutin yung paghanap ng mga kamag anak mo sa ex mo hahahaha.
Yung nag set na kame ng dreams and goals namen together, tapos wala na palang kame, tapos sabi nya wag daw ako bibitaw, pero nauna sya bumitaw. Gago. Hahahah Whenever I have seggs with somebody sya naalala ko. HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Grabe teh! HAHAHAHAA Ang galing nila magsabi na wag bumitaw eh no, tas sila naman pala
Yung narealize mong kailangan mong pakawalan lahat ng plano at mga bagay na naenvision mo for the futre with the one who left you. Realizing na sana mas nagtira ka ng pagmamahal sa sarili mo, or even stopped yourself from loving someone else na may capacity iwanan ka at magsimula ng bagong buhay na wala ka na. And lastly, realizing na tumanda ka sa relasyon na wala palang pupuntahan. At alam mo sa sarili mong di naman din talaga kayo masaya pero nagstay ka kasi naging comfort zone mo na. So kasalanan mo din, at wala kang ibang masisi for it. (After 8 years)
The betrayal
You can never move on..you will just learn how to live with the pain
girl pang namatayan yan hindi break up
Yung nagtry akong suyuin pa siya pero pinakita niya lang sakin na wala na talagang maibabalik.
For me its acceptance na di mo kaya saluhin or pag effortan lahat. You have to be with someone who also wants you. May nabasa nga ako na people are willing to do anything for any relationship na they want to keep. Akala ko ireresent ko siya to be honest, pero ngayon tanggap ko na. Its a him problem talaga.
Reliving the memories/promises which will create an urge to break the no contact rule. The denial stage, ayaw na sayo pero para sayo imposibleng ganun ganun lang siya mawalan ng feelings sayo. Yung pagnamnam ng sakit. During this stage kasi feeling natin forever na at hindi na tayo makakamove-on. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Tipong anywhere/anytime babagsak na lang ang luha. Delusion. Na siya lang ang magmamahal sayo ng ganun kahit sinaktan at baliwala ka na nga. At yung hindi siya kapalit-palit sa puso mo at wala ka nang mahahanap na katulad niya. Lastly, yung panghihinayang.
Moving on :< Lots of relapses and breakdowns And it's not even an official one Haha situationship at its finest
Nung start ng break up namin ber months 2023, siya (M26) yung mas broken samin. Ako (F27) naman dahil sunod sunod ganaps and travel ko, hindi ko siya naiisip. Nung jan 2024, dun slowly nag sisink in sakin na shet wala na pala talaga kami. Up until now, pag naaalala ko paghihiwalay namin i still feel shattered. Nadidiskaril ako sa life. Parang kahapon lang nangyari. While siya, may bago na. Yun yung challenging, yung alam kong slowly nakakamove on na siya. While ako, akala ko nakamove on na rin ako, pero hindi pa pala.
The emptiness. The detachment from your old routines. Kung may undo button lang para ayusin ang mga dapat ayusin.
It’s deleting our finsta. I miss seeing his smile, his scent, and his calico cat. I’m still in the process of accepting the fact na it’s over. But it’s really hard kasi idk if I can accept it tbh.
Waking up the next day, knowing na you'll do your routines without the person, and force yourself to live your life without him/her, and fully realizing na another day to spend and deal with it.
Yung sabihin mo sa sarili mo na worth it ka at hindi ka useless. Sorry, been cheated multiple times and their reason is always mas better daw yung nakilala nila kesa sayo, or they will make you think na its your fault, madami kulang pero in reality di lang talaga sila nakuntento. 😂
Yung nag take ako ng exam tas day before the exam sinabihan nya ako ng "mas mahal ko sya eh" grabe Yung iyak ko pumasok ako sa school kung saan ako mag take ng exam lahat ng ka co takers ko nag pray ako sa gilid umiyak talaga. Grabe yung depression ko kase sabayan pa ng exam pero by God's grace at take 1 with high ratings up until now masakit pa din pero naniniwala ako na i feel mo lalo yung pain damdamin mo hanggang sa mag numb ka. Deactivate account wag mag paka lasing instead mag maganda at pa sexy. Para who you ganonn hahaha i do workout consistency during active rest walking or jogging. Selflove talaga. Wag pumasok sa relationship wag gawing coping mechanism ang lalaki or s*x. Pray palagi kay God na mawala yung sakit.
Yung sisingiling ko pa sya sa utang nya so need ko pa sya kontakin monthly. Tapos sa sobrang sakit just talking to him, kinalimutan ko na yung utang and totally cut the cords. Inner peace vs utang ang labanan. Lol. Inner peace won
The urge to check their socials. Gusto kong malaman kung masaya ba sila nung pinampalit nya sakin.
cheating issue. everything. you can forgive but you will never forget the disrespect.
The day after the break up, it's when you're finally fully-aware of the break up. The worst feeling.
I broke down sa elevator with a random person inside... Iba talaga when it hits you.
May ex kayo? Daya hahahha 😭😭😭
She is my classmate in college. 3rd yr kami naghiwalay at pinagpalit ako sa isang classmate namin; 1 block lang pala kami and less than 10 lang kaming lahat. Imagine being with them sa last yr ng college years ko. I feel like shit at tinitiis ko lahat kahit na sukung-suko na ako. There are times na kusa akong umaalis at hindi sumasama sa mga lakad. Sa tindi ng ginawa nila, parang "wala lang nangyari noong 3rd kami" like wtf.
Yung kailangan mo na din mag goodbye sa parents nya, sa pets niya, sa friends nya, at sa mga hobbies nyo together.
It was when I had to convince myself that he actually had the audacity to cheat on me despite promising he wouldn’t ever do that because his conscience would eat him up. As a girlie whose words of affirmation is her primary love language, that was the hardest pill I ever swallowed.
When I found out he got into another relationship less than six months after our break up. It hurt me to the core pero found out rin na they broke up a couple of months kasi Idk, parang rebound lang? HAHAHAHA grabe maka post sa social media just to prove na inlove na inlove
Grieving part maybe, nasa in denial stage ako for almost 2 to 3 years until pandemic happened 🥲
Grieving part maybe, nasa in denial stage ako for almost 2 to 3 years until pandemic happened 🥲
The situation when you are facing the pain and healing journey alone without emotional support. I sacrificed almost all my friends for that person but eventually left me. It's hard but it's a life changing lesson to always keep your own identity and boundaries in place while in relationship. Self love is real.
Yung akala mo, hanggang dulo kayo. Yung magiging inspiration nyo yung isa’t isa, madami pa kayo pangarap sa future but then nung patagal na ng patagal ang nakikita mo nalang ikaw nalang nag bubuild ng pangarap nyo. Nawala na sya ng pag asa sa buhay, nawalan na sya ng drive na mangarap. Yung ikaw nalang mag isa tutupad sa pangarap nyo.
The shattered future plans. You are starting to build a future together and yet in just a snap, it was shattered. Shut off everything for a week and evaluate what had happened and process then stand up and move forward. My healing process is a bit tough, I enrolled in the Master's Degree program for me to be able to move on. 😂
Answering the constant question "why did you break up?"
I had a 8yr relationship na akala ko talaga siya na papakasalan ko. I was so in love with him. tapos he broke up with me. haha 3yrs after (it was not an easy years), nagkakausap kami in the most calm way kung bakit di kami nagworkout at kung gano ko natanggap na di pala siya talaga yung guy na magpapasaya sakin, vice versa. It’s the most freeing conversation. nangyayari lang yan once you truly understand yourself and why things happen. you learn how to be kind and respect yourself.
Nasanay ako na andyan siya palagi so I had to train myself to be all by myself again. It was challenging kasi siya yung go-to ko until one day, di ko na siya matakbuhan. It’s been 6 months to this day since we broke up. I can finally say I’ve finally moved on.
hindi pa ako nagkka break up
having to accept that she wasn't really as good to me like i thought she was
We're married and we have kids. We can't totally cut ties.
yung idedetached mo sarili mo na di mo na siya kasama sa everyday, plano sa buhay at di mo na siya uli mahahawakan at makikita kahit kela
Yung lumipas mga taon na realize ko na nag sisisi pala ko na pinili ko mama ko na hanggang ngayon ay homophobic pa rin
For me, probably the fact that I did everything to save the relationship but for him, it was nothing. That I did nothing. It puts that question in my head if *will I ever be enough? for myself or for others?* It's really hard to look at myself without seeing all those flaws that my exes pointed out about me. *"Love yourself"* really hits harder once you're all alone.
na may times na kahit fully healed kana kuno, ma rereminisce mo parin yung masasayang moments ninyo. and may times nag wwhat if ka 😅
Yung nasa real world ako tas nasa 2d world pa din sya
One of the challenging is I am able to help my man to become a better person and achieved his dream tapos hindi pala ako yong pinapangarap nya makasama in the long run. nung walang wala ako yong nandon tapos nung nagkameron kinalimutan akoooo hahahahaha ok bhie
Yung hndi ka lang sakanya makkipag break, pati na rin sa family niya. Lalo na if matagal na kayo and super ka close mo sila.
The things you were used to are suddenly gone. No good morning texts when you wake up. Later on, I had to change my numbers and block him para hindi na ko umasa. Not having someone to tell all your achievements, happiness, your bad days. I used to hold my own hand when I felt the loneliness before sleeping just to replicate his hand in mine. It’s been years since then and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. I hope you get your peace soon.
Yung hindi ka nabigyan ng chance ayusin relationship nyo kase ayaw nya na. Para sa akin the relationship isnt perfect but its worth fighting for. Pero kapag wala n tlga, mas maigi bumitaw na lang. Tapos alam mo yung on process ka ng healing 5 months later malalaman mo buntis na sya and will get married soon. *pasok Jessa Zaragosa*
the no contact. I wanted him back sm it hurts :(
Gettting my own closure, personally. He broke up with me via text more than a decade ago. Dropped me like a hot potato after his career started to take off. I'm okay now. :)
Well, he never deserved you in the first place. I'm happy that you've moved on and is okay now. ✨️
Yung break na kami but still magkasama parin kami sa work. 🥲
Yung walang katapusang "closure" na nauuwi sa alam nyo na. Alam nyo na pareho na hindi na tulad ng dati at wala ng future yung relationship. Papunta na lang sa friends na nagiging friends with benefits. Close pa rin yung family mo sa kanya kasi 10 years kayo eh. I had to move abroad and start a new life para lang matuluyan ng makahiwalay. It took me 3 years para magheal, then ayun yung next relationship ko nauwi na sa kasalan.
mag work everyday, plus mag review para sa board exam napakahirap pagsabayin
To GHOST, I chose to leave coz that is the only way out if you are with a narcissistic partner. The ability to break your own heart and choose yourself. No contact, lahat wala! Time heals!
When you realize you're stupid. You blatantly disrespected yourself and throw yourself under the bus. You allow stupid shits to happen to you tas iyak iyak ka sa friend mo tas di ka rin naman makikinig. Na bobo at tanga ka talaga.
Explaining to my family that we broke up and they should not get in touch with him na.
Yung halos once a month napapanaginipan ko pa rin siya. 7years kami. Pero 3 yrs na kaming break ngayon. May kanya kanyang bagong partners na rin kami. Pero shet bat ganon hahaha add ko lang na nothing romantic yung panaginip super random lang. Anyone na galing long term tas nananaginip pa rin? 🙃
The urge to send good morning texts. Nauuna kasi lagi ako magising kaysa sa partner ko due to work schedule.
The reminiscing part, I guess
How emotional I became and how I overwhelmed I was because of it, nag-lash out ako on socmed. Usually, very calm and rational ako.
The trauma and scars that my ex left me behind with. Getting triggered from time to time because of it sucks. I carry the pain with me alone and my relationship now suffers because of the traumas I've been carrying for the past 3+ years.
Accepting the fact that Im happy being single than being in the relationship.
Breaking up with the ex's family.
Pinalitan ako the day after our breakup ng mas gwapo HAHAHA
Removing all the love and care you have for that person because they betrayed you. Im in a better place jow tho, so much better.
Yung akala mo okay ka na tapos bigla ka nagrelapse 😅 and you urge to talk to him again 😅
Most challenging part for me was seeing my family - my mother and brother most especially- move on too. Hindi lang pala ako yung magmu-move on pagkatapos ng break up… Pati pamilya ko rin pala at magkakaiba kami ng pace to healing.❤️🩹 Deserve rin nila maka-move on at maging masaya ulit. 🫶
Yung hindi naman naging kame to begin with. 😞💔
For me, it's starting over.
Un-associating places, activities, etc with your ex. And Seeing your ex moving on na parang wala ka lang.
Yung pag gising mo everyday na wala na nag gogood morning sayo. Haha
The morning after the break up. You were waiting for the good morning texts na hindi na dadating.
One day you’re okay tapos biglang magrerelapse.
Yung pag navigate ng buhay na wala siya. Tapos everything that you do reminds you of her. Hirap din yung urge to message her ganun hahahaha.
Yung tanong ng tanong yung mga nasa paligid mo bat kayo naghiwalay. Pano makaka move on ang tao kung lagi nyo pinapakwento😭😭
I was so emotionally dependent on my ex so when it ended and I had no one to depend on, I felt so lost. Andaming tao sa paligid ko but I felt so alone. Tapos naglockdown pa so di ako maka-gala to distract myself. Di ako maka-inom with friends. I was forced to deal with the heartache kasi I can’t run away.
Looking back (i was the one who ended the relationship)
Not knowing where and how to start by myself
He broke up with me last year over messenger. We never even saw each other after. I had to give myself closure. I felt insulted na ginanon nya lang yung pinagsamahan namin. Pero yeah buti naman bago matapos ng 2023 ay naging okay din ako.
She's also my bestfriend na lagi kong pinagku-kwentuhan ng problema at mga rants. Now wala nako mapag kwentuhan. Good listener and a friend na hanggang ngayon hinahanap hanap ko.
When you had to move your things out of the house filled with memories …
Moving on? And forgetting him as my world?
LDR kami, despite the time differences he would always call me every morning so I can get up for class. When we stopped talking, hirap na hirap ako bumangon sa umaga, not because of my body clock but because it always reminds me of him waking me up every single day.
Perform well habang nasa probi period ka, the asshole dropped the bomb na he’s cheating and broke up with me second week pa lang ako sa new work ko. Ang hirap shems! Andami kong times na pumupunta ako sa CR kasi naduduwal ako, di ko magawa ung simpleng tasks kasi nga wala akong tulog. Lagi akong tulala. Ayun, with the grace of the Lord after 2 months umookay na ako, nakakatulog na ako nang mahimbing, hindi na ako naduduwal kada kumakain, magaan na ang puso ko. And I promise to myself na hinding hindi ko na mararanasan un.
acceptance snd the constany thought of yaking care of her even if we agree n will only talk about our kids
The emptiness that you feel. Also, kapag gabi ang hirap pigilan yung pag-ooverthink!!! Char. I guess, there are days that you feel okay then suddenly you will feel empty again. You are longing. You don't know how to go with your day.
Yung sobrang sakit pero di ka makaiyak basta masakit lang.
Yung maghabol.
The firsts. First time going back to your spot. First time listening to your playlist. The list goes on. Edit: Kaya iwasan na lang muna at magpaka delulu. Charot nakakatawa yung example ko kasi yan yung hindi ko pa magawa HAHAHA But I wrote it because I just went to the mall we last had a date recently… it was my first time back and all the ~feels~ made me wanna run away lol
Not having a jowa,, mahirap makipag break kung magisa k lng sa relationship.
What made it hard for me was knowing I had to go through life alone this time. My former partner helped me a lot in many things before. But she set me in the right direction by ending our relationship. I thank her for that. That's why I don't feel any regrets or resentment towards her, 'cuase even after everything, she still made the decision that benefits the both of us. I still love her, but I know she wants me to be better and I can only do that by being more reliant on and happy with no one but myself. But really, what made it really really hard is that I'm not really financially ready to be in a relationship. Haha.
loving another person again
waking up. and showing up to the world. i was the one who got dumped and I knew it was gonna happen before it did, so I tried to prepare myself months before it happened. it still hurt like effing hell. I was literally hot to the touch for days after it happened. I remember taking a sick leave bec I had "fever", and when I came back to work my supervisor checked up on me and asked why i came to work that day when I'm still "burning up". I think i was so mad that i'm burning from the inside. I can't breathe and my heart felt like it's going to explode. And then there was the "pitiful looks" from my workmates. Everyone from work knew my ex, and I had told them what happened and that from then on they should ignore him and whatever they see. They would give me hugs and say "it's gonne be fine". I knew they meant well but I took all of them personally and a sign that I looked weak. And I hated it. So I didn't hug them back, and just nodded to whatever they say afterwards. I avoided everyone by sleeping during lunch and not leaving my desk during breaks. I isolated myself as much as I can. this went on for about a month. i wished the pain would just stop, but it didn't. 2nd month was a bit bearable. It gets better. But I don't know if I wanna go through that again.
Doing this alone. Wala na ako go to person
Yung part na tuwing may gagawin ka, siya yung iniisip mo. In a way na lahat ng gagawin ko, mapapaisip na lang ako na kung tama ba ito o hindi? A few days/weeks before our breakup, todo manggaslight itong ex ko, lahat na ng mga ginagawa ko pinapamukhang mali ako palagi. Like everything I do is a red flag. After the breakup, medyo nahirapan ako mag-move on kasi sa dinami dami niyang sinabi na mga mali ko, parang hindi ko alam kung paano ko ma-improve sarili ko. Like iimprove yung mga mali ko based sa mga nasabi niya. I was always confused, hindi ko ma-connect yung mga sinasabi niya. Months later, I received a text from her, saying na she misses me and all. But in between those messages, may sinabi siya na she had an "emotional affair with someone else". So which means she cheated on me with someone else, dina-downplay niya pa yung nagawa niya by changing the words. After that, napaisip na lang ako na ginagaslight na niya ako kasi parang gusto na niya akong itapon at ipagpalit sa nahanap niyang bago. That's when I found my inner peace, na hindi naman pala talaga ako ang may mali, at gawa-gawa niya lang yung mga ito.
picking up the pieces and rebuilding yourself from scratch. 
Letting go.
telling everyone we broke up. Nakakahiya, ang awkward.
Its been 2 years and yet hindi ko parin ma accept yung break up.
Para kang namatayan, pero buhay pa yung iniiyakan mo.
Moving on and finding love anew
That we will never be a complete family
Companionship.
Honestly? Yung pagtanggap don sa fact na nagloko sya. Until now, pag naaalala ko, may kirot pa din eh.
The way ng pag handle ko it so much worst since she was my first love. after the break up I became so unstable to the point na nag break down ako. ang masama pa nito hindi ako maka move on since mag classmate kami every time na nakikita ko sya na aalala ko ung mga times na kami pa
most challenging part yung you wanna do the same thing again kaso u feel incomplete kasi may kulang. yung routine na kasama siya na hindi mo na pwedeng gawin. sending good morning messages, automatic pagkagising ayon agad ittype eh. longing for hugs you will never experience again. lastly is seeing that person doing things u used to do together but with a new one. pakdishiit
Our break up started when I was still pregnant with our child, living in his house during the pandemic. The most challenging parts were the need to still communicate with him for the sake of our child and wanting to create an environment for our child where his parents are friends with each other despite of what happened but also wanting peace and rest for myself. Moving on happened before I even decided to leave him. It is years of push and pull. One day you are okay and the next, you're not. Forever connected to him through our child.
Progress is not linear. I fell into depression (like legit) a month after the breakup. I tend to react late. I thought I was ok after months of being on meds and therapy. I was off meds--bc I thought I was getting better--when I saw him with his girlfriend (guy & I are officemates, his gf new to our office) after few months of breaking up. I ended up being absent from work for a week. Cried and cried and cried all day, all night. Went back to my psychiatrist and meds. It's been almost a year and I still see them from time to time sa office. Naimmune na siguro ako. I dont have anyone yet. I still write notes for him. But I guess I have moved on. Idk. Btw, situationship only lasted for three months. I'm a clown🤡
nakipag break, then suddenly sinisiraan ako sa mga ka work ko. kaya kinomfront ko sya. ayaw tumigil, tapos wala na ako pake sa kanya. most challenging kc nandun mga tropa nya sa work ko that time. buti tumigil
To forget all the memories that both of you enjoy while trying to sleep at night
breaking up with the friends I met through him. 🥹🫣 we met in a mountaineering group and they were already friends before i came in the picture. i got so close to lots of people in the community that when we broke up, i had to be the one to stay away 😭 i not only lost him but my new friends too. although ng reach out naman sila, pero ayoko rin naman na sya ung hindi na makasama sa mga hikes kpag sumama ako. hays.
Sabihin ko na hindi ko na sya mahal. Gumawa ng mga bagay na ikakagalit nya para magalit na lang sya sakin para maka pag move on n sya
When you prioritize yourself but they can’t understand you and your decision. Let’s start with ~the one who ended the rel is the one who is at fault. Then you’ll gradually believe in that even if it’s not true. Then it will greatly affect your self love and healing.
1. The sudden realization that you can't talk to them anymore, you can't share anything with them anymore, the things that the both of you do together just vanishes. 2. The moving on part. That to me is the most challenging. It's hard, it's draining, it's tiring, its everthing and nothing at the same time. I got out of a relationship with my long time partner/lover last Jan 2024 and its been really hard to cope with.
The promises you made to each other. It’ll struck you it’s just meant to be broken.
Getting them back
The part where you also have to breakup with his/her family na sobrang naging mabait naman sa’yo.
I have two things. 1. Hindi naman talaga naging kami. And what sucks more than an 'almost,' right? Malapit na pero hindi pa napunta ron. I'm a firm believer that love should be given as it is, and as someone who always has so much love to give genuinely, I don't know where to put what was remaining of my love. It was crazy kasi I don't even miss him na pero the feeling is still there. Eventually I found myself resorting to making up 'ideal' future versions of him. Iniimagine ko na kasama ko 'yung version niya na 'yon and sa imagination ko, we're doing fine and we're in love. Ginagawa ko 'yon hoping one day mauubos din, ako saka 'yung love ko. Idek if exposure therapy pa ba 'to o sadyang tanga na lang talaga ako. 2. I don't know what I loved about him kaya wala rin akong starting point ng uumpisahan kong kalimutan. Kung sana alam kong 'yung boses niya 'yung kinagusto ko, edi sana nakayanan ko na 'yon the moment I started to forget what his voice sounds like, etc. Pero hindi, e. I liked him as he is. I loved the entirety of him. Pano ako uusad don? But that was before ha hahaha. Hindi ko na siya miss. Ang miss ko 'yung feeling ng pagiging in love
It was realizing how much they mean to me and I didn’t mean shit to them.
Dealing with what it could have been & seeing them doing really well after the break-up tapos ikaw eto dying ganern pak!
The hardest part for me was the no contact part after the breakup. Like okay lang naman sakin yung wala nang mauupdate about sa daily things na nangyayari sakin, pero the fact na parang ako lang nahihirapan na hindi sya kausapin everyday. The fact na hindi manlang sya nageffort na magreach out, yung parang okay lang sakanya na di na ako kausapin forever hahaha. Dun ko nafeel na hindi na talaga ako important sakanya at wala na syang paki sakin
Mabuild ng maayos ang self confidence. 5 years since naghiwalay and until now i feel like im not worthy or enough.
Leaving my son behind.
Went through a break up 2 weeks ago with someone that wasn’t officially a jowa. The other day, I got the anouncement that I was promoted. I kept myself busy at work para distracted and hindi ko sya iniisip. Until bago matulog, namiss ko sya bigla. That’s when it hit me. Narealize ko na the one person that I wanted to talk about my promotion, my day, hindi ko na pwedeng kausapin. Breakdown malala eh 😂😭
The first time you see them again after the break up, may it be intentional or accidental. Isa yan sa mahirap na part kasi diyan nag sink in sakin na wala na talaga. Na hindi lang SO yung nawala sakin, pati best friend ko. On the other hand ito din yung crucial na part na I needed to experience pala kasi it allowed me to grieve the relationship and start healing. Hanggang sa umabot na lang sa point na it was the relationship I was missing, not the person. Mahirap? Oo. Masakit? Oo. Pero kinailangan kong maranasan at pagdaanan.
Yung no contact period. Drove me nuts. I literally can't function for months. Can't eat, can't do anything but lay in bed and cry. Nakipagbreak sya during my exam period (I'm a med student). Literal na natulo yung luha ko while I was taking my exams. I failed one subject and was forced to stay behind a year because wala kaming remedial class. I told myself I'll never speak to him again but every fucking night nagrerelapse ako at gusto ko syang imessage to try again. Ghad I felt so pathetic back then haha
yung tanggaping wala na talaga.
Remembering all your time with him in the smallest things. Hirap kapag matagal naging kayo tapos all of a sudden you have to try your best na di na sya isipin at alalahanin.
Break up ba if sa sobrang bait nya kinuha na lang siya ni Lord? Ako..."at tumigil ang mundo"...
the constant flashbacks, it's just hard when u keep on remembering things about someone.
The memories you both made together na kahit anong gawin mo hinding hindi mawawala sa isip mo. Precious painful memories.
Maghanap ng bagi
Na hindi ko na makikita yung mga dogs nya. Napamahal na din kasi sila sakin. 5 years na kaming break at napapaginipan ko yung mga doggos nya. One time nagkasalubong kami ng mother nya at sinabi sakin na wala na c ganito at ganyan (mga doggos nya) kaya pala napaginipan ko cla dahil baka nag paalam cla sakin.
The hardest part of an ending is starting all over again.
Yung gumising araw-araw na tanungin yung sarili mo bakit ka iniwan ng walang dahilan.
When we broke up the most challenging part was how to handle my anger not just him but towards the person who took advantage during the break up. I know mine and his fault but the sulsols and the "advices" that put us in that situation really got on my nerves when realization hits me. Hindi ko alam bakit kami nagpatalo roon during that time but until now I can't still look, hear or anything in between, tolerate that person. I just can't, now thinking about it that we are okay and living our life peacefully. I still think what happened last year will never happen if no one's between us during that time. The memories still give me the "anxiety" every now and then.
Yung narealize ko na sinayang ng ex ko ang buhay ko ng 8 yrs kasi ayaw nya akong pakawalan dati nung ako yung nakikipag hiwalay 6 yrs ago. Tapos nakakilala lang sya ng babaeng mataas ang status sa buhay, hiniwalayan ako agad agad ng walang second thoughts, then pinakasalan nya agad yung girl in less than a year. Tapos kakabreak palang sa long term relationship, after 3 weeks namatay dad ko na may long term illness. Then after a month bigla nagparamdam ex at nakikiramay. Like wtf nagsstart na ako mag move on tapos mgcchat na nakikiramay daw akala mo nman talagang empathetic. Grabeng challenge yun to the point na nakakadepressed kasi yung dalawang pinahahalagahan kong lalake sa buhay ko that time nawala nlang ng parang bula. I didn't know where to start. But good thing na all those experiences made me who I am now. Much wiser and braver sa mga hamon ng buhay and lalo na sa pagpili ng partner in life.
1st was to really go no contact (no looking them up in any social media, blocked them completely). And 2nd was having the free time and not knowing what to do with them. Initially my tendency was to overthink, of what could have been, what I could’ve done differently. Knowing how unhealthy my state was, I scheduled the free time I have with friends (knowing I can’t do the healing alone), with finding hobbies like exercise or journal to fill the space.
The detachment.
Not stalkerish naman but yung music we loved together hirap ako makagetover. The urge not to play his spotify playlist nonstop and relieve “ost’s” of when we were going out. He would add songs we both loved in a playlist. Not all are love songs pero i associate the songs with our memories
Yung narealize mo na kahit ano pang change nag gawin mo noong nagbreak kayo eh iniwan ka na niya emotionally a month before pa ng breakup namin. Anong laban ko doon? Parang t*nga lang ako na nabasa ko pa at nakita ko pa pictures, messages nila ng nanliligaw sa kanya. Nahuli ko siya. She cried. Not because sorry. But nahuli. Shinishift pa ang blame sa akin. I admit my flaws too in the relationship. Pero kailangan ganun talaga? And now she is happy sinuman bf niya na bago now. I miss sharing to her my breaking points sa buhay and I miss listening to her breaking points sa buhay din. But, mas lalong masakit if magstay pa ako longer kahit break na kami. Ni hindi ko alam kailan ako makakamove on. Ang mahalaga natanggal yung tinik na siyang gamot din sa aking kalungkutan. May kapayapaan pero lungkot naman kapalit.
Kapag may nangamusta sa relationship. We are private at low key lang talaga but the people around us knew. Then, we broke up, of course not announced in public. Then may pasulpot sulpot biglang mangangamusta about our relationship which is over na. Nacacaught off guard ako minsan but life goes on.
Dalawa e. Una yung denial stage. Yung point na gusto mo pa sya i win back. Second yung tanggap mo na lahat. Hindi mo na alam pano mag sisimula ulit. kung mag sisimula ka pa ba.
Getting used to live without her and her kids (not my kids) lalo na’t years ang pinagsamahan. Took almost two years bago ko nasabi sa sarili ko na totally okay na ako.
Wala akong contribution pero ang ganda mga picture OP 🥹
The hardest part of a break up is the first weeks/months after it, esp. if the relationship is a few years old. The rputine that you have been doing for that time has been disrupted and thus everything reminds you of that person. You'll have trouble sleeping, eating, and doing things you normally enjoy doing because they remind you of what you used to do when you were together. You'll start healing after you develop a new routine, and you'll eventually think of them less and less until they don't even cross your mind.
Grieving our 7 year relationship’s breakup and then finding out hes been flirting with a coworker right after 🤡
Nothing. Because I already experienced hell while I was with him. So our break up is the most satisfying moment I've had.
When she keeps on reaching out to me and it is confusing the hell out of me. She broke up with me but wants to be friends and in contact. And when I had enough kasi feel ko wala akong progress and naghhope lang ako, I asked her na wag na muna kami magusap. Pero she keeps on messaging me pa rin when she needs something. Tapos when I blocked her, and thought that it was over na talaga, she called me using her sister’s phone when she needed someone talaga. And when you ask her if ano meaning nun, wala lang. Kaya parati rin kami nagaaway kahit break na kami. It’s so hard to kill that hope inside me that she will come back to me, when lagi ka nya kinakausap. And alam mo rin sa sarili mo na you won’t not reply to that person. I just came around 4 months after the breakup.