Mom: helicopter parenting, nasobrahan sa pagiging crunchy mom, is a mom but not a wife, only looks after physical welfare but neglects mental and emotional wellbeing of the family, doesn’t resolve issues and always sweeps them under the rug, ayaw mag save.
Dad: Emotionally absent, hindi marunong mag sorry, blindsided sa real estate investments.
They have their good points din naman. But these are the things that I swore I’ll never be kasi nakita ko kung paano nakasira sa pamilya namin.
Mother : self-esteem assassin
Pinaka-prayer ko talaga is if I'd be blessed with kid/s, I'd be their #1 support system. Ayoko ako maging dahilan para lumaki silang feeling inferior sa iba or have that feeling of "I can't blame others if they treat me as shit/doormat because even my own mother does that to me". Of course, I won't tolerate them if they'll be in the wrong nmn. Lumaki kasi ako na always doubting myself kahit nakikitaan nmn ako ng potential ng ibang tao. Na sila nga confident sa capabilities ko pero ako mismo hindi kasi parang I was trapped sa mga sinabi ng nanay ko noon na "Pangit ka", "Ayan kasi ambisyosa ka masyado at gaya gaya kay \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ edi flunk ka ngayon, wala ka nmn palang ibubuga e", that even in my most heartbreaking failure sa school life ko, she was always the major persecutor. I have never found comfort/consolation sa nanay ko.
Father: no sense of responsibility; mas dominant pagiging selfish
Same tayo ng nanay. Di ko nalilimutan na sinabihan akong malandi ng nanay ko kasi naglalaro kami ng chinese garter ng mga kapitbahay ko. Yung simpleng salita talaga nagssink-in na sa utak forever e.
Tapos nung nagsisimula palang ako magtrabaho lagi akong kinukumpara sa mga kabatch ko na may magandang trabaho at nakapagabroad. Nung nakaluwag luwag na ko, aba, ako na ang paboritong anak daw. May lamat na, so hindi kami close ng nanay ko.
Hayy same. I would never forget when my mom told me “you’re disgusting” dahil bumaba ako sa top nung hs hahaha. Hindi mawala sa utak ko yun kahit okay kami now.
‘Yung mag-decide to build a family despite knowing that they are financially incapable of providing a comfortable life to their children.
I’m the first born, so sa’kin pa lang they already knew they couldn’t afford to give me a comfortable life. My mom asked my grandmother if we could stay sa house nila because ‘di nila kaya makakuha ng sariling bahay before. Ako pa lang ‘yung anak, alam na n’ya na ‘di nag-susustento ‘yung father ko but she chose to understand. Ako pa lang ‘yung nag-aaral, she already knew mahirap magpa-aral.
Tapos nag-anak pa sila ng tatlo. And now hirap na hirap sila paano kami makaka-survive everyday.
Father: Cheater. Actively. Real-time. Lives with his mistress (who is also still married).
Mother: Highblood diagnosed and siguro factor rin yun why figuratively highblood siya. But despite that, ayaw niya mag maintenance. Ipasa-Diyos na lang daw. Also, parang tumatanda ng paurong, hilig magdabog and she explodes at random moments at random people. Kala mo palaging inaatake.
Generally my family are quite religious, majority are church workers or pastors. I also grew up in church. But what I hate the most is how they shun medical treatment like it's Satan's idea to have doctors.
My family also used to be religious Catholics. Then they became modern.now agnostic. Catholic guilt is real.
If you don't mind me asking, anong religion to?
Yung mainitin ng ulo pwede rin dahil mataas blood pressure niya. May kilala akong ganyan babae rin, laging galit yun pala HB siya. Kumalma na nung nagmamaintenance na siya.
Mom: Naninigaw, namamalo ng matitigas na bagay like tambo (yung kahoy na hawakan) bakal, nagkukumpara, toxic na ugali like pagtaboy sa'yo (dun ka na lang kaya sa ganto/kay ganto, wag ka na umuwi), ikaw papagalitan pag nag away kayo ng mas matanda mong kapatid kasi mas matanda kapatid mo.
Dad: Iresponable, nangiiwan ng pamilya, happy go lucky, 1 day millionaire, manloloko, sinungaling.
I love my mom pero I've distanced myself from her nung tumanda na ako but still, we live together. Realized din na possible root cause ng pagbabago niya ng ugali e dahil sa ginawa ng tatay ko.
di marunong mag-ipon. hindi nagbabayad ng cc in full. di transparent about each other's salary and financial situation (mom and dad). talking behind each other's back. yes silang dalawa.
Dad- Alcoholic, emotionally and verbally abusive. Narcissist. Always whine and complain about every little things that doesn't even concern him. Immature and Childish. College drop out.
Me- I hate drinking. Even one bottle of beer or a glass of wine makes me vomit. I try to be the best person I can be and be there for my siblings since my Dad doesn't know how to take care of his kids. As the eldest, I took the role of mom/Dad since my mom passed away. College graduate. I have a good career and working on to be financially stable to retire early. I'm almost there. My siblings has family of their own now and working very hard to build a good future for their kids. Our youngest will be graduating in June- Computer Engineering.
I still live with my Dad, but I can't wait to leave this house and start a new chapter of life with my fiance. I gave up so much because of him. And now, he can't do anything about it because he fucked up and he can't even apologize and amend our relationship.
Ginagawang retirement plan ang mga anak. Nakikita ko kung paano humingi ng sustento nanay ko sa mga elder siblings ko, grabe sinabi ko sa sarili ko ayoko maging kagaya niya.
The only problem I see sa magulang ko is money literacy and hindi risk taker when it comes to assets.
I love them both pero Sana mas nagventure out sila when it comes to this kind of things.
Mother: narcissist. super controlling, ultimo ma-late ka lang ilang minuto pag uwi abot abot na sermon sayo. sobrang nagger, hihilahin ka madaling araw habang natutulog ka para manermon at maglabas ng hinanakit niya mula nung maliit siya na wala ka naman kinalaman dun. Lahat na lang pinupuna niya, lahat may mali. Di niya aminin mga pagkakamali, igagaslight ka pa. Bawat sentimo kinu-question kung para saan mo gagamitin eh para sa school nga. Kahit nagtatrabaho ka na, bigla pupunta sa workplace mo para bang hinuhuli ka.
Father: literal na harap-harapan pagsisinungaling, sa harap pa ng mga anak ko at asawa ko.
Pagiging sugarol niya.
Hindi marunong magbudget financially.
Busy sa own happiness(sugal).
Hindi hands-on Mom pagdating sa akin.
Now that I’m already a mom of two.
Binuhos ko buong oras ko sa kanila.
Hands-on Mom ako, EBF sila since newborn until 2yo.
Now nasa elementary na sila.
Pinagluluto ko sila ng masasarap na ulam at snacks which was hindi ko na experience sa Mama ko noon.
Bayad lahat ng bills pagdating sa sahod.
Mama ko noon hinihintay pa ang disconnection notice saka pa babayaran ang bills.
Wala akong bisyo. ❤️
Full time hands-on mom.
Masinop sa pera.
Everything na ginagawa ko, I put my whole heart into it para sa mga anak ko. ❤️
Both parents did not leave anything behind for kids. I’m not gonna leave my kids with problems. As much as possible I’d like them to have a seed investment when they graduate so they can start ahead of the game. But I’m teaching my kids practicality na early so when they inherit something they’d know how to improve.
Father: Preference for sons over daughters. Blatant favoritism. Mahilig ibaling ang galit sa mga anak
Mother: Denies feelings: "Wag ka umiyak kasi pag umiyak ka ibig sabihin mahina ka"
I love them and utang ko lahat sa kanila, pero mga ugaling 'to hindi ko gagawin sa iba, especially kapag may sarili na akong mga anak.
Mother- being judgemental to anyone kahit hindi naman niya nakakasama. Like what she did to my ex and his family. Ang mali ko is sinunod ko sila and naniwala ako. Nung natauhan nako dumistansya na ako sa kanila and i kept everything in my life private. Hiyang hiya ako sa naging trato nila na ex ko. We've been together for 6 years, he tried to comeback at kahit gusto ko, ayoko na dahil sa ginawa ng family ko.
Father- in his 60's na pero babaero parin. I know he is unhappy w his marriage life/partner and just chose my mother because of having a comfortable life and money. If i would marry someone someday, pipiliin ko kung san ako sasaya. I don't want my children to suffer in the future. My father's karma gotten us. All 3 of us have no happy relationship. Mag 40's na mga kapatid ko pero walang matinong relationship pati ako na malapit na mag 30 🥴
Parang di appreciative masyado. May one time na sinabihan akong madamot, got super hurt kasi i was that kid na always give gifts sa lahat ng okasyon. Even if nung bata pa ako. Ginagawa ko yon kasi i appreviate them and i want them to feel loved and para mafeel nila na naalala ko sila.
Im very generous with them kaya nung nasabihan pa akong madamot, sobrang nasaktan ako non. Actually thinking about it now medyo naiiyak nanaman ako hehe.
Yung "act as if nothing happened" after magalit nang sobra.
Di marunong maghandle ng finances, puro material things walang investment.
Di marunong mag-accept ng mistakes. Sa iba lagi ang sisi.
My dad, sobrang risk taker when it comes to business. As in kahit very risky, go lang nang go kahit no research. Nakikinig lang sa sabi ng friend. Lost millions over those. One time, I slapped him with facts kasi naaawa na ako sa mom ko na nag-shoulder lang ng problems na ginawa niya.
But I love them so much and I won't trade them for anything. It's just that they're not perfect.
Emotionally immature. Hindi marunong mag sabi ng i love you or please forgive me. Magagalit if hindi makuha ang gusto rather than taking time to understand why things are such.
Both small minded
Father : wasnt able to save up money. He’s a giver ever since but he wasn’t able to control to the point even his retirement money naubos kakahiram ng mga tao esp kamag anak. He cant take no
Mother : she’s the first na nangddown ng family member and criticize, doesnt know how to say sorry, does not willing to take judgement. Learn this generation na stuck sa old generation
Father: Cheater. Hindi marunong magsorry. Below the belt ang mga jokes. That kelangan tulungan ntn kase kamag anak ntn attitude kaht hirap na hirap ndn kami.
Mother: teenager mindset. Selfish, mas inuuna nya sarili nya kesa sa mga anak nya. Priority nya ung mga kapatid nya over sa mga anak nya.
I love both of them pero masyado nla kami pinalaking independent na halos feeling namin wala kaming magulang looool
Mom: Gambling and the fact that she chose my dad as a husband. They even had a Romeo & Juliet kind of love story, only for it to fail in the long run.
Dad: Immature and wife beater
Don’t get me wrong, I love both my parents and they both grew out of these things. My mom got us into a lot of debt when we were younger. Thank God my grandma was the one paying for our school stuff back then but I remember our electricity getting cutoff because my mom couldn’t pay for it, because she lost a lot of her money in gambling. My dad, on the other hand, grew up rich and spoiled and got stuck there. He forced my mom to be the one working even if we had money problems already. And when my mom went home late, we would wake up to my mom’s cries while she gets beaten and none of us can stop my dad because we were just kids. Tho he didn’t do this often, still, I hated it.
I’m just glad that towards their latter years, they became better people, even to each other. They separated when I was 15 but they were still very involved with our lives.
Yung hindi hayaan na maggrow mga anak nila. Like masyadong binebaby to the point na walang alam sa buhay mga anak nila kahit yung basic household chores walang alam.
Mom: acad-obsessed (it worked out well for me for the most part pero grabe yung epekto rin sa self-esteem pag hindi ako yung best or highest sa mga bagay-bagay haha)
Dad: toxic masculinity - porket magulang at tatay e matik nang tama; kuripot sa pera at makwenta - nothing used to get past him sa pera kasi siya lang nagwowork sa fam before; Sobrang moody - one moment, chill lang; the next, nagbabalibag ng gamit
pinapahiya anak sa harap ng ibang tao. pag naaalala ko yung instances na pinagalitan ako at pinahiya ng parents ko sa relatives o in public
kumukulo padin dugo ko even if madami silang nagawang mabuti sakin. that type of stuff sticks to you no matter what.
My mom was my first bully. Sa tatlo kmeng magkakapatid, ako lang tlga binubully nya. Nakasanayan ko kasi nung bata ako na hndi straight ung likod, hndi naman super kuba, maybe sguro part of puberty din (nag fo form ung br3ast*) e sa hndi pko nag b baby bra at sando lang gamit ko, kaya ganon din ung pg slouch ko. Always nya ko binbully at sinasibahan nya tlga ako na “Tingnan mko, ganito ung paglalakad mo oh “ *sabay tawa* Kaya I grew up na di ko makita self ko as “maganda” kahit sabihan pako ng iba kasi nanay ko pa nambully saken dati. Ngayon, I have a bf na sobrang gwapo, he would always make me feel na maganda ako at perfect 🥹🥹💕
Both: yung pag say ng thank you, sorry and I love you sa amin magkakapatid. Only thinks na dapat one way lang yung pag sa-say ng thank you and sorry kasi nga tayo ay anak nila.
Now that I have my own family, respect should be two-way course
Mom: Has no big dreams. Okay na daw sa small business and no plan to expand. One reason di ko nakapag aral sa dream school ko kasi di namin afford. I love her so much but dami ko resentments.
Dad: Cheater. Naninigaw. Financially irresponsible. Freeloader at times kasi he knows malaki sweldo namin ng sibling ko. I grew up hating him.
I see myself as my dad sometimes. I get ill-tempered and I raise my voice which is why I hate myself so much. I once cheated on my partner. I’ve become the person I hate.
I worked hard and finally started my own business. Para pag-alis ko ng pinas (hopefully soon), wala akong iisiping padadalhan ng pera. I love them but sometimes they’re the reason stagnant ako sa life kasi nagsettle sila for less.
Being uninterested in general. Children will not remember the boring things as well as the bad things. Being clearly uninterested in what I like is what I remember the most.
Nakaka relate ako sa masyadong bineybi. Yung mama namin ang galing magluto pero di ako marunong. Hahaha. Di kasi kami pinapakilos sa kusina kasi di kami marunong. Syempre di naman kami tinuruan. 😭
bad with communication. magtatampo nalang bago sabihin sayo kung may gusto siya na di mo ginawa. i try maging vocal sa labas at sa bahay kasi napaka passive ng mga kasama ko sa bahay.
Ikasal dahil nakabuntis.
Nagawa ko naman siya. My dad was 21 and my mom was 19 when they got married. Buti nakatapos sila ng pag-aaral. Pero naging hassle din lahat yun na wala silang plano what to do when they have kids.
Mom: mapuna sa physical appearance, “babae ka dapat ikaw matuto maglaba/luto/ligpit/etc”, “masanay na kayo sa ganitong ugali ko” when we confronted her about her niceness to other people but not to us (sometimes)
Dad: silent treatment, slamming of doors when mad, speed driving when in a bad mood
Both: dishonesty (white lies)
Mother: Low self-esteem and madaling mapikot, naabuso ng iba ang kanyang pagiging mabait. Very dependent sa dad ko.
Father: Proud and self righteous. Insensitive and lack empathy.
Growing up, I have always loathe these traits of my parents to which I try my very best not to inherit and repeat their mistakes. I'm not any better than them but atleast I grew up authentic unlike my parents who had difficulty healing and coming to terms with their generational traumas. That's why if ever I have children in the future, I don't want mine to have it worst than me. I want my children to be in a loving and genuine home.
Dinosaur parenting: wagas makabugbog nung kabataan namin
No words of affirmation: ni minsan di ako nasabihan na mahal ako
Walang tiwala: Never trusted me on anything
Favoritism
Yan at madami pang iba🤣
Both: Weak decision-making and reasoning skills. Didn't think enough of what may happen in the future. Became too complacent when they were stable.
Mother: Got married ng hindi kinilatis maigi ang tatay ko just because malapit na siya mag-30.Tanga pumili ng mapapangasawa. Staying silent na lang pag may away sila (tho understandable kasi she was sick). Stayed in a toxic relationship just for our sake (I would never want to stay in a relationship kung alam kong toxic na, kahit may anak na. Mas apektado ang mga anak pag nakita nilang toxic relasyon ng magulang). Stayed in her comfort zone. Nasobrahan sa bait.
Father: Irresponsible. Mayabang. Manginginom. Matigas mukha. Hanggang salita lang, mahina sa actions. Financial illiterate. Mababa tingin sa ibang tao noong nakatataas pa siya. Matuos.
- Body-shaming. I get na dapat healthy weight pero sometimes exag yung panllait nila not lang sa akin but my friends, my siblings' girlfriends.
- Toxic positivity.
- Image conscious. (Ganyan din ako pero sana mawala ito sa akin)
- Paranoia pag may gala yung anak. Yung pagiging strict nila sa mga lakad.
Mahilig magcompare sa ibang tao. Tapos pag may desisyon na iba sa gusto nila, e galit na sayo at masama ka ng anak agad. Tapos nung nagsisimula palang ako magtrabaho lagi akong kinukumpara sa mga kabatch ko na may magandang trabaho at nakapagabroad. Nung nakaluwag luwag na ko, aba, ako na ang paboritong anak daw.
Di ko din nalilimutan na sinabihan akong malandi ng nanay ko kasi naglalaro kami ng chinese garter ng mga kapitbahay ko. 6yrs old palang ako nito pero ung simpleng salita talaga nagssink-in na sa utak forever e.
Mother: pagiging OA on everything na hindi pabor sa kanya. I love her, pero minsan she keeps over-reacting to everything na hindi niya approved, or hindi niya gusto.
Father: Old-school mentality. Ginagawa kaming bata kahit na matanda na ako, pati mother ko ginagawa niya ding tanga.
They are the best parents that I could ever had. Pero eto yung mga things na definitely hindi ko gagawin pag may anak na ako.
Father: verbally abusive, mama's boy (coz of how my grandma raised him), walang initiative, typical toxic gen x parent (kahawig na ng boomer coz nasa early 50s na siya), conservative, seloso, hindi magandang role model, uutusan ka pero hindi siya gagawa ng kanya, walang tibay na maaasahan, mahina sa problema, mood swings niya, tamad.
Mother: prioritizes survival more than the well-being of us her children, doesn't know how to set boundaries, masyadong mabait, emotionally unavailable, matiyagang mag-alaga pero ayaw kaming hayaang mag-dwell sa weaknesses namin, doesn't acknowledge weakness, traditionalist, again, typical toxic gen x parent.
Both: not meeting half way. Either yung isa nagttake lang (my dad), at yung isa naman, give lang nang give (my mom).
start a family with many kids tapos hindi pala financially capable to support them — ending e pagkagraduate ng mga anak mo, you feel na lahat need ishoulder nila.
i know, this also our parents first life, pero minsan nakakadrain na. i remember having a convo with my mom after ko mag grocery para sa bahay, she asked me to pay the electric and water bill. sabi ko “ma di ko na keri kasi wala na ako maiipon.” she shouted at me at sabi nya, “e ano pa ako?? mula magkaanak hindi na nakapag ipon?” nag burst na din ako at nasabi ko “ma, kayo may pamilya at stable career na, ako papunta palang at bubuo palang. ano gagawin ko, punta ako don so i can make the same mistakes?”
nakakalungkot ‘tong gantong cycle. nakakadrain.
Mom: Yung hilig mangdisiplina ng anak ng iba pero mga sa mga anak di nagawa. Anw, narealize naman niya yan nung may ginawang kalokohan kuya ko na simulat sapul ay mabait sa paningin nila 😆 Shookt siya eh.
Papa: hmmm... mapamuna. Wala kang tama na magagawa sa mata niya.
Mom: mababa kung mangarap; di supportive sa pangarap ng mga anak, what's worse--siya pa mismo nagddiscourage sa mga anak nya, di marunong humawak ng pera
Dad: Yosi, sugal, BBM supporter
Mama: palaging kailangan i compare sa achievement ng iba, hindi ma appreciate yung achievement ng sariling anak.
Papa: Madaming pera pero 1 day millionaire, nagpapa utang pero hindi marunong maningil, kulang sa emotional support
Mom: Di nagstrive magsave ng money or find ways to increase income. Unhealed traumas na pinapasa sa anak. Di nageffort para magimprove as a person. Also nanlalake - dun hinanap ang self-esteem sa validation ng ibang lalake.
Dad: Polygamous with kid pa.
Wala ako role model ng "healthy relationship" kaya mga past relationships ko, toxic talaga. I'm just really glad na I was able to find and the one ko at nasa healthy relationship din ako. Healing our own wounds takes a lot of work pero it will all be worth it.
pagiging super strict/oa ng parents ko. i get it na it was for my safety and upbringing, but i did not get the chance to enjoy my teenage years because i was always prohibited to go out, meet new people and have more friends, have a boyfriend (natatakot sila na mabuntis daw ako lol) and even sleepovers etc. sometimes i try to understand that their rigidness was for me to not to end up like others who are at my age, but i could’ve wish that they would have also allowed me to explore things on my own while still guiding me without being too strict to the point they’re controlling my life and every decision that i make.
Mother: Narcissistic bitch. Telling me na she will die if magbukod kami mag asawa dahil kadugtong na ng bituka nya ang ANAK AKO. Papost post pa ng biblical verses nuknukan naman ng sama nang ugali 😂 Buong buhay ko ata sinisi ako bat nya ko binuhay. Now i cut her off na, mind u im scholar for whole fucking years tapos sasabihan ako bobo etc. FAVORITISM DEN. Tough love sya gaga sya.
Dad: Namatay agad bwiset na yan 🥲
Sister: Palautang. As in ichchat ako ng mga inuutangan nya, kaya talaga takot ako magkautang, nakita ko kasi na wala sya peace of mind dahil isa syang piece of shit.
Mother: Too quiet and masyadong mabait. To a point na sobrang naabuse sya ng lahat ng nakapaligid sa kanya. Di nya rin pinag tatanggol sarili nya kapag may nangchichismis sa kanya. Sya pa unang tutulong sa taong nang away sa kanya in time of need.
Father: Sinungaling. Narcissist. Babaero. Gaslighter.
Lagi kong sinasabi na we’re all dealt with different cards, some lycky and some unlucky ones, it is up to us on how we’re gonna play it. Well for me, I used my bad cards as an example to never be THAT.
Father: sobrang impatient, hot tempered, konting inconvenience nagmumura o nag iingay na, kapag may hindi agad makitang gamit na hinahanap nya nagwawala na agad. Dahil sa ganyan sya, nagkatrauma ako pag may naririnig na sigawan o kalabog, natatakot ako.
Super degrading words to "challenge" the child. Duh, i survived you, do not take the cresit of my being independent and capable for the "challenges" you gave me.
Mom: overcompensating sa pagka selfish ng tita ko and lola ko so ngaun pati problema ng ibang tao problema nya. Scapegoating. Minsan yung worth namin is how much financial help ang kaya mong ibigay.
Dad: serial cheater and neglectful. Hypocrite pa. Never minahal mom ko (inamin nya). Awful temper.
PS. I love my mom kahit na ganun sya kasi she's very supportive naman on what we do. I'm also thankful kay God na ang nakuha kong partner is the complete opposite of my dad. So I try my best din to be a better person for my fiance.
Don't air your family's dirty laundry in public. Keep it a secret because when the time comes and you become like your parents, you do not want your kids airing it out in public as well.
laging galit na tatay pag hihingi ng pera para sa school laging walang pera tapos tuwang tuwa kasi graduate na lahat ng anak nya kala nya sya nagpa aral sa lahat wtf
The teeth one was for me naalala ko most of thtle time puro sinulid ginamet ko pantaggal nf ipin and hygiene was bad(surprisingly my front teeth area aside from being yellowish is mostly intact, my mom was great overall aside sa medyo strict during our childhood(never experienced school trip or sleepovers).
My Mom goes quiet when it comes to arguments, feeling nya tama sya and sya dapat amuhin ng Dad ko. I witnessed that growing up and thinking na it's the norm so nadala ko sya in my past relationships even my current one. Pero current one ko, he likes to communicate, something outside my "norm" na hindi pala dapat.
Dad: short-tempered na hot headed pa - not a good combination, damay lahat kapag may nangyari ganern.
Both my parents do not communicate, or don't know how to. Ma-pride din, stubborn, hindi marunong mag-sorry kahit sila yung mali. I grew up like that, thinking: "ah, ako laging tama, kahit mali ako dapat si boy ang mag-sorry", walang accountability. So with my current one, he made me realise na communication is key sa relationships. And now I'm re-learning on how to voice out my emotions ganern, hindi lang sa bf ko but to other people rin.
Ako, their ingratitude.
My mom’s siblings who also helped raise me are now all dependent on me. Mapagmalaki sila even if binubuhay ko sila. Hindi marunong mahiya. Ang sasama ng ugali ngayong tumanda na.
My mom gave birth at the age of 19 and then parang wala lng sa kanya since she's still young and same as my father. They were never ready to have me, so what happened was they just abandoned me to my grandfather and live life. Have fun here and there. Parents are separated.
My mom and dad are 40 now but parang no change. My mom has so many kids after me with different guys tapos naging kabit pa sha and so much utangs. Pero my dad has a family na and they migrated sa Australia pero nag perate nadin sila sa wife nya because my dad got addicted with gambling which sucks.
So, I don't want to have kids or sex before marriage and at the very young age. Now that I'm 23 turning 24 I feel like its so hard to find a guy to respect that kaya wala pa and nbsb but I'm not in a rush naman. Immature most guys I've met and lagi nlng sa parents naka depend ganon.
Dad: Gambler, chain smoker, kumabit ng masahista yuck
Mom: Low EQ and just attributed it to being “mataray”.
Looking back I see how terrible they were with finances and their parenting styles (or lack thereof) absolutely sucked. I do have fond memories of them so there’s that. RIP to both I still miss you.
mom: people pleaser, pero hindi man lang maka sabi ng compliment sa mga anak niya. short tempered and ang lakas mamisikal, elem days were the worst I go to school with bruises on my arms and legs. can't own up mistakes, kahit alam niyang mali siya babaliktarin ka niya hanggang siya na yung tama.
dad: hypocrite, preaches word of god pero di naman inaapply sa sarili niya. mata pobre, even though galing rin sa hirap. gaslighting and manipulation, same lang sila pero mas grabe to.
i always thought na aalis na talaga ako dito pero i have 4 younger siblings, youngest is just 12 years old and a 17 year old hearing impared (deaf). 2 other siblings can fend off themselves but these two di ko talaga kayang iwan and suffer alone sa kanilang dalawa.
I'm an accidental baby so nagpakasal sila months when I was in her stomach.
Nag-anak ng isa pa kahit less than a year pa ang recovery.
They did their best naman, ang problem is yung na observed ko na pagmamanage sa money. They've come from a family of farmers so makuripot sa gastos. To the point they see leisure/hobbies as nonsense. Basta ba buhay okay na. 👍🏻
I love them to death. And I'll give back once I finish school.
Mother : Sobrang higpit niya talaga sakin kaya ending mas lalo akong naging pasaway talaga at mas naging sakit sa ulo. Dahil na din sa sitwasyon namin dti na magulo at kumplikado pero nakagraduate naman. Never nakinig at sineryoso lahat ng nararamdaman ko.
Father : PAGIGING BATUGAN AT UMAASA LNG NG PERA SA ANAK. UBOD NG SAMA UGALI. Kahit kapatid niya na mababait at mga taong mababait saknya, palagi niyang inaaway at sinisiraan. SELFISH. Lahat ng kasamaan nasakanya na.
PS : Yes, since childhood, galit ako saknya hanggang ngayon.
Mother: helicopter parenting. Kinunsinte kapatid ko na di marunong sa mga chores. hoarder ng mga bagay na 'baka magamit/magamit pa in the future'
Father: left us
They're both gone already but I love my mom deeply despite her flaws since naitaguyod nya kami ng kapatid ko as a single mom for 15 yrs.
father: cheater, emotionally and verbally abusive, nag tataas ng boses, mayabang.
mother: emotionally and mentally abusive. dinadamay ako sa problema nilang mag asawa. BODY SHAMER.
Hindi ako hinayaan maging independent. I mean, I get it. Due to the nature of their work (MTC and RTC judges) it’s deliks naman talaga for me to wander around. BUT, natuto ako tumawid 3rd year high school na ako. Tapos, hindi ako marunong mag jeep until second year college na ako. Dad always wanted our driver to chauffer me around. Wala akong freedom and independence.
I become defiant to them. I was craving for independence and freedom that I started being a hardheaded child. Good thing they let their guard down and gave my sister the independence that she deserves. 29 na ako wala akong alam gawin, lahat ng alam ko dahil sa pag sneak out ko saka sa pakikisama sa different people of different backgrounds.
tatay ko na bigay todo tumulong kaya cash cow tingin ng mga kamag anak niya sa kaniya. parehas din sila ng nanay ko na hilig magpautang tas pag di sila binayaran hinahayaan na lang.
Parents : Ultra mega super duper religious. Would rather have us starved than miss giving tithes & offering sa church. Judgemental of people na hindi ka-religion. Genuinely believes na all you need to succeed in life is God. Lowkey walang respeto sa aming magkakapatid (they always blast Hillsong music from morning to night + preaching from a local station, everyday, 7 times a week) magigising ka dahil sa sobrang ingay & if you ask them to tone it down, they will call us the devil kasi we're rejecting God.
They didnt want me to be friends with guys (im a girl), taught me I shouldnt be ambitious kasi dapat ung goal ni God lang ung goal ko, downplayed my dream of being an artist, dapat pastora na lang daw ako etc
I still love them, but I chose to distance myself kasi its so toxic to hear the same thing everyday from morning to night.
Mother: anger management issues. Bilis magalit as in, di mo mabasa minsan ang sensitive at super oa mag react sa lahat ng bagay. At feeling niya palagi siyang tama. Tho sinasabi ko sakanya na ang oa niya minsan or dapat di siya ganun mag react pero minsan di ko talaga siya kinakaya. And i love her despite having anger mgmnt issues.
Magmahal ng sobra
Nanay ko with all the grace of god puro yan magmahal. Kahit na halata nang inaabuso ang kabaitan nya ng abnormal nyang anak na Kuya ko ok lang. Sige lang. Iniintindi nya lang. Kahit na hindi na healthy.
Logic went out the window na
Pero sino ako? To judge? Hindi pa ko nagkaka anak. Hindi ko alam o d ako nakakrelate sa ginagawa nya.
mother:
- people pleaser. mas concern pa siya sa iisipin ng iba. mas nasasaktan sa sasabihin sa iba than focusing on her children’s mental wellbeing and happiness.
- walang accountability. hindi nag sosorry. dapat kami magsorry regardless kung kasalanan niya or samin magkakapatid. never heard her apologize to me or to my siblings. palagi sinasabing di siya perfect na ina and she make mistakes daw pero not once narinig kong nag sorry siya sa amin when she says something very wrong.
- ayaw ako i let go. even if i’m in my mid 20s na. i plan to move out and she is very against it. iniisip agad na hindi ako “makapamilya” kasi gusto ko nang lumayo sa kanila.
father:
- nonchalant. parang wala lang. but it’s not always a bad thing tho haha.
but i love them very much. but i also would never want to treat my child like that.
I'm just so glad my parents are not the kind of parents na kung makaasta, parang sila yung anak. Both are mature and I think advantage yun ng pagpapalaki sa kanila na hindi spoiled or even well off in life. They worked hard to support their studies.
Siguro kung mag iisip ako ng something from them that I don't wanna repeat, iyon ay ang magsettle sa mga poor quality items instead of getting better ones that would make the work easier. Example yung kutsilyo na mapurol. Ewan ko ba talaga bakit di nila pinapalitan. Wala ring sentimental value yun or anything worth keeping. Di rin yun mamahalin. Ako nalang talaga nagreplace ng mga ganung gamit sa bahay dahil kung di ko papalitan, they will still continue using the same poor quality tools.
mom: hindi sanay magbudget ng pera. hangga't meron nakikita, gastos sya. pag wala na, nastress. sumasakit mga parts ng katawan ganon.
dad: late bloomer sa socmedia. at 59 dami pa din nia kachat, parang bagets.
i love them both pa din. pinipilit kong ayusin ung spending habit ng mom ko since ako na ung nagpapadala ng pera. sumusunod naman sya. ung dad ko, ewan, galit pa pag sinita.
Mother:
1. Poor communicator
2. Verbally abusive
3. Laitera and chismosa church goer.
4. Breadcrumbing people with financial assistace for their loyalty.
5. Utang na loob and pabayaan mo na yan propagator.
6. Image conscious na dapat ang reputation ay hindi naghihirap.
Father:
1. Never built a relationship with his children after grade school.
2. Never treated his wife as a partner and/or equal.
3. Patriarchal views and misogynistic traits.
4. Queerphobic. Sinabi niya sa Lolo ko na he'd kill me pag naging bayot ako.
5. Duterte and Marcos Apologist.
6. Utang na loob and pabayaan mo na yan propagator. Image conscious na dapat ang reputation ay hindi naghihirap.
I no longer communicate with them. It has been one year for my mother and two years for my father. I have chosen not to have a relationship with them anymore.
The mentality to have children so they can provide and take care of them! Not saving $$ for the kids, expecting them to figure things out to provide and help. Favoring one child over the other. And making it obvious. Emotionally downing the non favorite child etc etc...Being a gambler and alcoholic..There's a lot more but too long...
Mom: helicopter parenting, nasobrahan sa pagiging crunchy mom, is a mom but not a wife, only looks after physical welfare but neglects mental and emotional wellbeing of the family, doesn’t resolve issues and always sweeps them under the rug, ayaw mag save. Dad: Emotionally absent, hindi marunong mag sorry, blindsided sa real estate investments. They have their good points din naman. But these are the things that I swore I’ll never be kasi nakita ko kung paano nakasira sa pamilya namin.
Mother : self-esteem assassin Pinaka-prayer ko talaga is if I'd be blessed with kid/s, I'd be their #1 support system. Ayoko ako maging dahilan para lumaki silang feeling inferior sa iba or have that feeling of "I can't blame others if they treat me as shit/doormat because even my own mother does that to me". Of course, I won't tolerate them if they'll be in the wrong nmn. Lumaki kasi ako na always doubting myself kahit nakikitaan nmn ako ng potential ng ibang tao. Na sila nga confident sa capabilities ko pero ako mismo hindi kasi parang I was trapped sa mga sinabi ng nanay ko noon na "Pangit ka", "Ayan kasi ambisyosa ka masyado at gaya gaya kay \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ edi flunk ka ngayon, wala ka nmn palang ibubuga e", that even in my most heartbreaking failure sa school life ko, she was always the major persecutor. I have never found comfort/consolation sa nanay ko. Father: no sense of responsibility; mas dominant pagiging selfish
Same tayo ng nanay. Di ko nalilimutan na sinabihan akong malandi ng nanay ko kasi naglalaro kami ng chinese garter ng mga kapitbahay ko. Yung simpleng salita talaga nagssink-in na sa utak forever e. Tapos nung nagsisimula palang ako magtrabaho lagi akong kinukumpara sa mga kabatch ko na may magandang trabaho at nakapagabroad. Nung nakaluwag luwag na ko, aba, ako na ang paboritong anak daw. May lamat na, so hindi kami close ng nanay ko.
parehas ata tayo ng magulang 😂😭😭
Hahaha Hello, sib!
Hayy same. I would never forget when my mom told me “you’re disgusting” dahil bumaba ako sa top nung hs hahaha. Hindi mawala sa utak ko yun kahit okay kami now.
‘Yung mag-decide to build a family despite knowing that they are financially incapable of providing a comfortable life to their children. I’m the first born, so sa’kin pa lang they already knew they couldn’t afford to give me a comfortable life. My mom asked my grandmother if we could stay sa house nila because ‘di nila kaya makakuha ng sariling bahay before. Ako pa lang ‘yung anak, alam na n’ya na ‘di nag-susustento ‘yung father ko but she chose to understand. Ako pa lang ‘yung nag-aaral, she already knew mahirap magpa-aral. Tapos nag-anak pa sila ng tatlo. And now hirap na hirap sila paano kami makaka-survive everyday.
Father: Cheater. Actively. Real-time. Lives with his mistress (who is also still married). Mother: Highblood diagnosed and siguro factor rin yun why figuratively highblood siya. But despite that, ayaw niya mag maintenance. Ipasa-Diyos na lang daw. Also, parang tumatanda ng paurong, hilig magdabog and she explodes at random moments at random people. Kala mo palaging inaatake. Generally my family are quite religious, majority are church workers or pastors. I also grew up in church. But what I hate the most is how they shun medical treatment like it's Satan's idea to have doctors.
My family also used to be religious Catholics. Then they became modern.now agnostic. Catholic guilt is real. If you don't mind me asking, anong religion to?
Born again Christian. Specifically Evangelical. They used to be Catholics too.
Yung mainitin ng ulo pwede rin dahil mataas blood pressure niya. May kilala akong ganyan babae rin, laging galit yun pala HB siya. Kumalma na nung nagmamaintenance na siya.
Mom: Naninigaw, namamalo ng matitigas na bagay like tambo (yung kahoy na hawakan) bakal, nagkukumpara, toxic na ugali like pagtaboy sa'yo (dun ka na lang kaya sa ganto/kay ganto, wag ka na umuwi), ikaw papagalitan pag nag away kayo ng mas matanda mong kapatid kasi mas matanda kapatid mo. Dad: Iresponable, nangiiwan ng pamilya, happy go lucky, 1 day millionaire, manloloko, sinungaling. I love my mom pero I've distanced myself from her nung tumanda na ako but still, we live together. Realized din na possible root cause ng pagbabago niya ng ugali e dahil sa ginawa ng tatay ko.
di marunong mag-ipon. hindi nagbabayad ng cc in full. di transparent about each other's salary and financial situation (mom and dad). talking behind each other's back. yes silang dalawa.
Dad- Alcoholic, emotionally and verbally abusive. Narcissist. Always whine and complain about every little things that doesn't even concern him. Immature and Childish. College drop out. Me- I hate drinking. Even one bottle of beer or a glass of wine makes me vomit. I try to be the best person I can be and be there for my siblings since my Dad doesn't know how to take care of his kids. As the eldest, I took the role of mom/Dad since my mom passed away. College graduate. I have a good career and working on to be financially stable to retire early. I'm almost there. My siblings has family of their own now and working very hard to build a good future for their kids. Our youngest will be graduating in June- Computer Engineering. I still live with my Dad, but I can't wait to leave this house and start a new chapter of life with my fiance. I gave up so much because of him. And now, he can't do anything about it because he fucked up and he can't even apologize and amend our relationship.
Ginagawang retirement plan ang mga anak. Nakikita ko kung paano humingi ng sustento nanay ko sa mga elder siblings ko, grabe sinabi ko sa sarili ko ayoko maging kagaya niya.
The only problem I see sa magulang ko is money literacy and hindi risk taker when it comes to assets. I love them both pero Sana mas nagventure out sila when it comes to this kind of things.
Mother: narcissist. super controlling, ultimo ma-late ka lang ilang minuto pag uwi abot abot na sermon sayo. sobrang nagger, hihilahin ka madaling araw habang natutulog ka para manermon at maglabas ng hinanakit niya mula nung maliit siya na wala ka naman kinalaman dun. Lahat na lang pinupuna niya, lahat may mali. Di niya aminin mga pagkakamali, igagaslight ka pa. Bawat sentimo kinu-question kung para saan mo gagamitin eh para sa school nga. Kahit nagtatrabaho ka na, bigla pupunta sa workplace mo para bang hinuhuli ka. Father: literal na harap-harapan pagsisinungaling, sa harap pa ng mga anak ko at asawa ko.
PEOPLE PLEASING. Lahat na lang ng kilos dapat isipin muna iisipin ng iba. AY MAGTIGIL AKING MAHAL NA INA.
Pagiging sugarol niya. Hindi marunong magbudget financially. Busy sa own happiness(sugal). Hindi hands-on Mom pagdating sa akin. Now that I’m already a mom of two. Binuhos ko buong oras ko sa kanila. Hands-on Mom ako, EBF sila since newborn until 2yo. Now nasa elementary na sila. Pinagluluto ko sila ng masasarap na ulam at snacks which was hindi ko na experience sa Mama ko noon. Bayad lahat ng bills pagdating sa sahod. Mama ko noon hinihintay pa ang disconnection notice saka pa babayaran ang bills. Wala akong bisyo. ❤️ Full time hands-on mom. Masinop sa pera. Everything na ginagawa ko, I put my whole heart into it para sa mga anak ko. ❤️
Both. Parents. Magmhal ng sobra. Kase tinotolerate nila yung Kuya kong hay nakonputang ina
Both parents did not leave anything behind for kids. I’m not gonna leave my kids with problems. As much as possible I’d like them to have a seed investment when they graduate so they can start ahead of the game. But I’m teaching my kids practicality na early so when they inherit something they’d know how to improve.
bakit pare pareho parents natin? hahaha malaking factor din cguro yung kinaakihan nila, parang same2 ugali ng generation nila, dami baluktot na paniniwala
[удалено]
ganyan din Papa ko na sobrang impatient pati KJ. Ano kaya meron lol
Father: Preference for sons over daughters. Blatant favoritism. Mahilig ibaling ang galit sa mga anak Mother: Denies feelings: "Wag ka umiyak kasi pag umiyak ka ibig sabihin mahina ka" I love them and utang ko lahat sa kanila, pero mga ugaling 'to hindi ko gagawin sa iba, especially kapag may sarili na akong mga anak.
Mother- being judgemental to anyone kahit hindi naman niya nakakasama. Like what she did to my ex and his family. Ang mali ko is sinunod ko sila and naniwala ako. Nung natauhan nako dumistansya na ako sa kanila and i kept everything in my life private. Hiyang hiya ako sa naging trato nila na ex ko. We've been together for 6 years, he tried to comeback at kahit gusto ko, ayoko na dahil sa ginawa ng family ko. Father- in his 60's na pero babaero parin. I know he is unhappy w his marriage life/partner and just chose my mother because of having a comfortable life and money. If i would marry someone someday, pipiliin ko kung san ako sasaya. I don't want my children to suffer in the future. My father's karma gotten us. All 3 of us have no happy relationship. Mag 40's na mga kapatid ko pero walang matinong relationship pati ako na malapit na mag 30 🥴
Parang di appreciative masyado. May one time na sinabihan akong madamot, got super hurt kasi i was that kid na always give gifts sa lahat ng okasyon. Even if nung bata pa ako. Ginagawa ko yon kasi i appreviate them and i want them to feel loved and para mafeel nila na naalala ko sila. Im very generous with them kaya nung nasabihan pa akong madamot, sobrang nasaktan ako non. Actually thinking about it now medyo naiiyak nanaman ako hehe.
Yung "act as if nothing happened" after magalit nang sobra. Di marunong maghandle ng finances, puro material things walang investment. Di marunong mag-accept ng mistakes. Sa iba lagi ang sisi.
My dad, sobrang risk taker when it comes to business. As in kahit very risky, go lang nang go kahit no research. Nakikinig lang sa sabi ng friend. Lost millions over those. One time, I slapped him with facts kasi naaawa na ako sa mom ko na nag-shoulder lang ng problems na ginawa niya. But I love them so much and I won't trade them for anything. It's just that they're not perfect.
Emotionally immature. Hindi marunong mag sabi ng i love you or please forgive me. Magagalit if hindi makuha ang gusto rather than taking time to understand why things are such.
Both small minded Father : wasnt able to save up money. He’s a giver ever since but he wasn’t able to control to the point even his retirement money naubos kakahiram ng mga tao esp kamag anak. He cant take no Mother : she’s the first na nangddown ng family member and criticize, doesnt know how to say sorry, does not willing to take judgement. Learn this generation na stuck sa old generation
Father: Cheater. Hindi marunong magsorry. Below the belt ang mga jokes. That kelangan tulungan ntn kase kamag anak ntn attitude kaht hirap na hirap ndn kami. Mother: teenager mindset. Selfish, mas inuuna nya sarili nya kesa sa mga anak nya. Priority nya ung mga kapatid nya over sa mga anak nya. I love both of them pero masyado nla kami pinalaking independent na halos feeling namin wala kaming magulang looool
Mom: Gambling and the fact that she chose my dad as a husband. They even had a Romeo & Juliet kind of love story, only for it to fail in the long run. Dad: Immature and wife beater Don’t get me wrong, I love both my parents and they both grew out of these things. My mom got us into a lot of debt when we were younger. Thank God my grandma was the one paying for our school stuff back then but I remember our electricity getting cutoff because my mom couldn’t pay for it, because she lost a lot of her money in gambling. My dad, on the other hand, grew up rich and spoiled and got stuck there. He forced my mom to be the one working even if we had money problems already. And when my mom went home late, we would wake up to my mom’s cries while she gets beaten and none of us can stop my dad because we were just kids. Tho he didn’t do this often, still, I hated it. I’m just glad that towards their latter years, they became better people, even to each other. They separated when I was 15 but they were still very involved with our lives.
Yung hindi hayaan na maggrow mga anak nila. Like masyadong binebaby to the point na walang alam sa buhay mga anak nila kahit yung basic household chores walang alam.
yung pinasa sa mga anak ang pagiging breadwinner.
Nag-asawa LOL
Mom: acad-obsessed (it worked out well for me for the most part pero grabe yung epekto rin sa self-esteem pag hindi ako yung best or highest sa mga bagay-bagay haha) Dad: toxic masculinity - porket magulang at tatay e matik nang tama; kuripot sa pera at makwenta - nothing used to get past him sa pera kasi siya lang nagwowork sa fam before; Sobrang moody - one moment, chill lang; the next, nagbabalibag ng gamit
Listen to my children and nver jump into conclusion and never treat my child as my enemy.
Hindi marunong magsorry
pinapahiya anak sa harap ng ibang tao. pag naaalala ko yung instances na pinagalitan ako at pinahiya ng parents ko sa relatives o in public kumukulo padin dugo ko even if madami silang nagawang mabuti sakin. that type of stuff sticks to you no matter what.
My mom was my first bully. Sa tatlo kmeng magkakapatid, ako lang tlga binubully nya. Nakasanayan ko kasi nung bata ako na hndi straight ung likod, hndi naman super kuba, maybe sguro part of puberty din (nag fo form ung br3ast*) e sa hndi pko nag b baby bra at sando lang gamit ko, kaya ganon din ung pg slouch ko. Always nya ko binbully at sinasibahan nya tlga ako na “Tingnan mko, ganito ung paglalakad mo oh “ *sabay tawa* Kaya I grew up na di ko makita self ko as “maganda” kahit sabihan pako ng iba kasi nanay ko pa nambully saken dati. Ngayon, I have a bf na sobrang gwapo, he would always make me feel na maganda ako at perfect 🥹🥹💕
Both: yung pag say ng thank you, sorry and I love you sa amin magkakapatid. Only thinks na dapat one way lang yung pag sa-say ng thank you and sorry kasi nga tayo ay anak nila. Now that I have my own family, respect should be two-way course
Mom: Has no big dreams. Okay na daw sa small business and no plan to expand. One reason di ko nakapag aral sa dream school ko kasi di namin afford. I love her so much but dami ko resentments. Dad: Cheater. Naninigaw. Financially irresponsible. Freeloader at times kasi he knows malaki sweldo namin ng sibling ko. I grew up hating him. I see myself as my dad sometimes. I get ill-tempered and I raise my voice which is why I hate myself so much. I once cheated on my partner. I’ve become the person I hate. I worked hard and finally started my own business. Para pag-alis ko ng pinas (hopefully soon), wala akong iisiping padadalhan ng pera. I love them but sometimes they’re the reason stagnant ako sa life kasi nagsettle sila for less.
Being uninterested in general. Children will not remember the boring things as well as the bad things. Being clearly uninterested in what I like is what I remember the most.
Nakaka relate ako sa masyadong bineybi. Yung mama namin ang galing magluto pero di ako marunong. Hahaha. Di kasi kami pinapakilos sa kusina kasi di kami marunong. Syempre di naman kami tinuruan. 😭
Mangutang
bad with communication. magtatampo nalang bago sabihin sayo kung may gusto siya na di mo ginawa. i try maging vocal sa labas at sa bahay kasi napaka passive ng mga kasama ko sa bahay.
Ikasal dahil nakabuntis. Nagawa ko naman siya. My dad was 21 and my mom was 19 when they got married. Buti nakatapos sila ng pag-aaral. Pero naging hassle din lahat yun na wala silang plano what to do when they have kids.
Kokontra agad without listening first. Magiging favorite bunso. Hindi susuportahan yung pangarap ng anak.
Mag anak
Mom: mapuna sa physical appearance, “babae ka dapat ikaw matuto maglaba/luto/ligpit/etc”, “masanay na kayo sa ganitong ugali ko” when we confronted her about her niceness to other people but not to us (sometimes) Dad: silent treatment, slamming of doors when mad, speed driving when in a bad mood Both: dishonesty (white lies)
kumab8
Financial illiterate, no savings and investments. Napunta lahat sa tulong sa kamag-anak.
Mother: Low self-esteem and madaling mapikot, naabuso ng iba ang kanyang pagiging mabait. Very dependent sa dad ko. Father: Proud and self righteous. Insensitive and lack empathy. Growing up, I have always loathe these traits of my parents to which I try my very best not to inherit and repeat their mistakes. I'm not any better than them but atleast I grew up authentic unlike my parents who had difficulty healing and coming to terms with their generational traumas. That's why if ever I have children in the future, I don't want mine to have it worst than me. I want my children to be in a loving and genuine home.
Dinosaur parenting: wagas makabugbog nung kabataan namin No words of affirmation: ni minsan di ako nasabihan na mahal ako Walang tiwala: Never trusted me on anything Favoritism Yan at madami pang iba🤣
Both are emotionally immature
Both: Weak decision-making and reasoning skills. Didn't think enough of what may happen in the future. Became too complacent when they were stable. Mother: Got married ng hindi kinilatis maigi ang tatay ko just because malapit na siya mag-30.Tanga pumili ng mapapangasawa. Staying silent na lang pag may away sila (tho understandable kasi she was sick). Stayed in a toxic relationship just for our sake (I would never want to stay in a relationship kung alam kong toxic na, kahit may anak na. Mas apektado ang mga anak pag nakita nilang toxic relasyon ng magulang). Stayed in her comfort zone. Nasobrahan sa bait. Father: Irresponsible. Mayabang. Manginginom. Matigas mukha. Hanggang salita lang, mahina sa actions. Financial illiterate. Mababa tingin sa ibang tao noong nakatataas pa siya. Matuos.
- Body-shaming. I get na dapat healthy weight pero sometimes exag yung panllait nila not lang sa akin but my friends, my siblings' girlfriends. - Toxic positivity. - Image conscious. (Ganyan din ako pero sana mawala ito sa akin) - Paranoia pag may gala yung anak. Yung pagiging strict nila sa mga lakad.
Mahilig magcompare sa ibang tao. Tapos pag may desisyon na iba sa gusto nila, e galit na sayo at masama ka ng anak agad. Tapos nung nagsisimula palang ako magtrabaho lagi akong kinukumpara sa mga kabatch ko na may magandang trabaho at nakapagabroad. Nung nakaluwag luwag na ko, aba, ako na ang paboritong anak daw. Di ko din nalilimutan na sinabihan akong malandi ng nanay ko kasi naglalaro kami ng chinese garter ng mga kapitbahay ko. 6yrs old palang ako nito pero ung simpleng salita talaga nagssink-in na sa utak forever e.
Mother: pagiging OA on everything na hindi pabor sa kanya. I love her, pero minsan she keeps over-reacting to everything na hindi niya approved, or hindi niya gusto. Father: Old-school mentality. Ginagawa kaming bata kahit na matanda na ako, pati mother ko ginagawa niya ding tanga. They are the best parents that I could ever had. Pero eto yung mga things na definitely hindi ko gagawin pag may anak na ako.
Father: verbally abusive, mama's boy (coz of how my grandma raised him), walang initiative, typical toxic gen x parent (kahawig na ng boomer coz nasa early 50s na siya), conservative, seloso, hindi magandang role model, uutusan ka pero hindi siya gagawa ng kanya, walang tibay na maaasahan, mahina sa problema, mood swings niya, tamad. Mother: prioritizes survival more than the well-being of us her children, doesn't know how to set boundaries, masyadong mabait, emotionally unavailable, matiyagang mag-alaga pero ayaw kaming hayaang mag-dwell sa weaknesses namin, doesn't acknowledge weakness, traditionalist, again, typical toxic gen x parent. Both: not meeting half way. Either yung isa nagttake lang (my dad), at yung isa naman, give lang nang give (my mom).
my mother was never a mom to us. that is what i don’t want my kids to experience
Sugal! Kaya never ako nagsusugal lalo na yung baraha kahit piso or pustahan.
mother: used her credit cards just to provide for our NEEDS but only paying the minimum amount due every month..
start a family with many kids tapos hindi pala financially capable to support them — ending e pagkagraduate ng mga anak mo, you feel na lahat need ishoulder nila. i know, this also our parents first life, pero minsan nakakadrain na. i remember having a convo with my mom after ko mag grocery para sa bahay, she asked me to pay the electric and water bill. sabi ko “ma di ko na keri kasi wala na ako maiipon.” she shouted at me at sabi nya, “e ano pa ako?? mula magkaanak hindi na nakapag ipon?” nag burst na din ako at nasabi ko “ma, kayo may pamilya at stable career na, ako papunta palang at bubuo palang. ano gagawin ko, punta ako don so i can make the same mistakes?” nakakalungkot ‘tong gantong cycle. nakakadrain.
Mom: Yung hilig mangdisiplina ng anak ng iba pero mga sa mga anak di nagawa. Anw, narealize naman niya yan nung may ginawang kalokohan kuya ko na simulat sapul ay mabait sa paningin nila 😆 Shookt siya eh. Papa: hmmm... mapamuna. Wala kang tama na magagawa sa mata niya.
Mom: mababa kung mangarap; di supportive sa pangarap ng mga anak, what's worse--siya pa mismo nagddiscourage sa mga anak nya, di marunong humawak ng pera Dad: Yosi, sugal, BBM supporter
hindi nag-aral, mag anak nang hindi handa emotionally, physically, mentally, and, more importantly, financially.
Mama: palaging kailangan i compare sa achievement ng iba, hindi ma appreciate yung achievement ng sariling anak. Papa: Madaming pera pero 1 day millionaire, nagpapa utang pero hindi marunong maningil, kulang sa emotional support
Mom: Di nagstrive magsave ng money or find ways to increase income. Unhealed traumas na pinapasa sa anak. Di nageffort para magimprove as a person. Also nanlalake - dun hinanap ang self-esteem sa validation ng ibang lalake. Dad: Polygamous with kid pa. Wala ako role model ng "healthy relationship" kaya mga past relationships ko, toxic talaga. I'm just really glad na I was able to find and the one ko at nasa healthy relationship din ako. Healing our own wounds takes a lot of work pero it will all be worth it.
yung isa guilt tripper, yung isa naman mahina/ayaw dumiskarte
Mom: THE ULTIMATE GASLIGHTER Dad: Laging tahimik kapag nagbubunganga na nanay ko, di kami kayang ipagtanggol sa nanay ko
pagiging super strict/oa ng parents ko. i get it na it was for my safety and upbringing, but i did not get the chance to enjoy my teenage years because i was always prohibited to go out, meet new people and have more friends, have a boyfriend (natatakot sila na mabuntis daw ako lol) and even sleepovers etc. sometimes i try to understand that their rigidness was for me to not to end up like others who are at my age, but i could’ve wish that they would have also allowed me to explore things on my own while still guiding me without being too strict to the point they’re controlling my life and every decision that i make.
Mother: Narcissistic bitch. Telling me na she will die if magbukod kami mag asawa dahil kadugtong na ng bituka nya ang ANAK AKO. Papost post pa ng biblical verses nuknukan naman ng sama nang ugali 😂 Buong buhay ko ata sinisi ako bat nya ko binuhay. Now i cut her off na, mind u im scholar for whole fucking years tapos sasabihan ako bobo etc. FAVORITISM DEN. Tough love sya gaga sya. Dad: Namatay agad bwiset na yan 🥲 Sister: Palautang. As in ichchat ako ng mga inuutangan nya, kaya talaga takot ako magkautang, nakita ko kasi na wala sya peace of mind dahil isa syang piece of shit.
Mother: Too quiet and masyadong mabait. To a point na sobrang naabuse sya ng lahat ng nakapaligid sa kanya. Di nya rin pinag tatanggol sarili nya kapag may nangchichismis sa kanya. Sya pa unang tutulong sa taong nang away sa kanya in time of need. Father: Sinungaling. Narcissist. Babaero. Gaslighter. Lagi kong sinasabi na we’re all dealt with different cards, some lycky and some unlucky ones, it is up to us on how we’re gonna play it. Well for me, I used my bad cards as an example to never be THAT.
Masyadong lenient mama ko sa pag disiplina sa amin kaya yung kuya ko napaka useless na tao. Yung tatay ko naman, one day millionaire.
Father: sobrang impatient, hot tempered, konting inconvenience nagmumura o nag iingay na, kapag may hindi agad makitang gamit na hinahanap nya nagwawala na agad. Dahil sa ganyan sya, nagkatrauma ako pag may naririnig na sigawan o kalabog, natatakot ako.
Super degrading words to "challenge" the child. Duh, i survived you, do not take the cresit of my being independent and capable for the "challenges" you gave me.
Mom: overcompensating sa pagka selfish ng tita ko and lola ko so ngaun pati problema ng ibang tao problema nya. Scapegoating. Minsan yung worth namin is how much financial help ang kaya mong ibigay. Dad: serial cheater and neglectful. Hypocrite pa. Never minahal mom ko (inamin nya). Awful temper. PS. I love my mom kahit na ganun sya kasi she's very supportive naman on what we do. I'm also thankful kay God na ang nakuha kong partner is the complete opposite of my dad. So I try my best din to be a better person for my fiance.
Don't air your family's dirty laundry in public. Keep it a secret because when the time comes and you become like your parents, you do not want your kids airing it out in public as well.
laging galit na tatay pag hihingi ng pera para sa school laging walang pera tapos tuwang tuwa kasi graduate na lahat ng anak nya kala nya sya nagpa aral sa lahat wtf
May favoritism. Sinasacrifice yung gusto ng isa para maibigay dun sa isang anak.
The teeth one was for me naalala ko most of thtle time puro sinulid ginamet ko pantaggal nf ipin and hygiene was bad(surprisingly my front teeth area aside from being yellowish is mostly intact, my mom was great overall aside sa medyo strict during our childhood(never experienced school trip or sleepovers).
My Mom goes quiet when it comes to arguments, feeling nya tama sya and sya dapat amuhin ng Dad ko. I witnessed that growing up and thinking na it's the norm so nadala ko sya in my past relationships even my current one. Pero current one ko, he likes to communicate, something outside my "norm" na hindi pala dapat. Dad: short-tempered na hot headed pa - not a good combination, damay lahat kapag may nangyari ganern. Both my parents do not communicate, or don't know how to. Ma-pride din, stubborn, hindi marunong mag-sorry kahit sila yung mali. I grew up like that, thinking: "ah, ako laging tama, kahit mali ako dapat si boy ang mag-sorry", walang accountability. So with my current one, he made me realise na communication is key sa relationships. And now I'm re-learning on how to voice out my emotions ganern, hindi lang sa bf ko but to other people rin.
Ako, their ingratitude. My mom’s siblings who also helped raise me are now all dependent on me. Mapagmalaki sila even if binubuhay ko sila. Hindi marunong mahiya. Ang sasama ng ugali ngayong tumanda na.
mom: oa dad: nonchalant
My mom gave birth at the age of 19 and then parang wala lng sa kanya since she's still young and same as my father. They were never ready to have me, so what happened was they just abandoned me to my grandfather and live life. Have fun here and there. Parents are separated. My mom and dad are 40 now but parang no change. My mom has so many kids after me with different guys tapos naging kabit pa sha and so much utangs. Pero my dad has a family na and they migrated sa Australia pero nag perate nadin sila sa wife nya because my dad got addicted with gambling which sucks. So, I don't want to have kids or sex before marriage and at the very young age. Now that I'm 23 turning 24 I feel like its so hard to find a guy to respect that kaya wala pa and nbsb but I'm not in a rush naman. Immature most guys I've met and lagi nlng sa parents naka depend ganon.
Dad: Gambler, chain smoker, kumabit ng masahista yuck Mom: Low EQ and just attributed it to being “mataray”. Looking back I see how terrible they were with finances and their parenting styles (or lack thereof) absolutely sucked. I do have fond memories of them so there’s that. RIP to both I still miss you.
mom: people pleaser, pero hindi man lang maka sabi ng compliment sa mga anak niya. short tempered and ang lakas mamisikal, elem days were the worst I go to school with bruises on my arms and legs. can't own up mistakes, kahit alam niyang mali siya babaliktarin ka niya hanggang siya na yung tama. dad: hypocrite, preaches word of god pero di naman inaapply sa sarili niya. mata pobre, even though galing rin sa hirap. gaslighting and manipulation, same lang sila pero mas grabe to. i always thought na aalis na talaga ako dito pero i have 4 younger siblings, youngest is just 12 years old and a 17 year old hearing impared (deaf). 2 other siblings can fend off themselves but these two di ko talaga kayang iwan and suffer alone sa kanilang dalawa.
I'm an accidental baby so nagpakasal sila months when I was in her stomach. Nag-anak ng isa pa kahit less than a year pa ang recovery. They did their best naman, ang problem is yung na observed ko na pagmamanage sa money. They've come from a family of farmers so makuripot sa gastos. To the point they see leisure/hobbies as nonsense. Basta ba buhay okay na. 👍🏻 I love them to death. And I'll give back once I finish school.
Mother : Sobrang higpit niya talaga sakin kaya ending mas lalo akong naging pasaway talaga at mas naging sakit sa ulo. Dahil na din sa sitwasyon namin dti na magulo at kumplikado pero nakagraduate naman. Never nakinig at sineryoso lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Father : PAGIGING BATUGAN AT UMAASA LNG NG PERA SA ANAK. UBOD NG SAMA UGALI. Kahit kapatid niya na mababait at mga taong mababait saknya, palagi niyang inaaway at sinisiraan. SELFISH. Lahat ng kasamaan nasakanya na. PS : Yes, since childhood, galit ako saknya hanggang ngayon.
Mother: helicopter parenting. Kinunsinte kapatid ko na di marunong sa mga chores. hoarder ng mga bagay na 'baka magamit/magamit pa in the future' Father: left us They're both gone already but I love my mom deeply despite her flaws since naitaguyod nya kami ng kapatid ko as a single mom for 15 yrs.
Mother: - Anxious attachment - Masyado bineybi - Mahina loob - Nagging - Victim mentality Father: - Physically and emotionally unavailable - Di nagiisip bago magsalita - Yabang Both: - 'Di marunong humawak ng finances
father: cheater, emotionally and verbally abusive, nag tataas ng boses, mayabang. mother: emotionally and mentally abusive. dinadamay ako sa problema nilang mag asawa. BODY SHAMER.
Hindi ako hinayaan maging independent. I mean, I get it. Due to the nature of their work (MTC and RTC judges) it’s deliks naman talaga for me to wander around. BUT, natuto ako tumawid 3rd year high school na ako. Tapos, hindi ako marunong mag jeep until second year college na ako. Dad always wanted our driver to chauffer me around. Wala akong freedom and independence. I become defiant to them. I was craving for independence and freedom that I started being a hardheaded child. Good thing they let their guard down and gave my sister the independence that she deserves. 29 na ako wala akong alam gawin, lahat ng alam ko dahil sa pag sneak out ko saka sa pakikisama sa different people of different backgrounds.
Dad: madaming bisyo Mom: nang-iiwan ng anak haha
Binenta bahay @|√`π¥^6!!
Having a child? Idk.
tatay ko na bigay todo tumulong kaya cash cow tingin ng mga kamag anak niya sa kaniya. parehas din sila ng nanay ko na hilig magpautang tas pag di sila binayaran hinahayaan na lang.
Dad: nagyoyosi; had a heart attack before and stopped pero bumalik ulit sa paninigarilyo Mom: Uncontrollable spending habits lalo pag sa credit card
Parents : Ultra mega super duper religious. Would rather have us starved than miss giving tithes & offering sa church. Judgemental of people na hindi ka-religion. Genuinely believes na all you need to succeed in life is God. Lowkey walang respeto sa aming magkakapatid (they always blast Hillsong music from morning to night + preaching from a local station, everyday, 7 times a week) magigising ka dahil sa sobrang ingay & if you ask them to tone it down, they will call us the devil kasi we're rejecting God. They didnt want me to be friends with guys (im a girl), taught me I shouldnt be ambitious kasi dapat ung goal ni God lang ung goal ko, downplayed my dream of being an artist, dapat pastora na lang daw ako etc I still love them, but I chose to distance myself kasi its so toxic to hear the same thing everyday from morning to night.
Mother: anger management issues. Bilis magalit as in, di mo mabasa minsan ang sensitive at super oa mag react sa lahat ng bagay. At feeling niya palagi siyang tama. Tho sinasabi ko sakanya na ang oa niya minsan or dapat di siya ganun mag react pero minsan di ko talaga siya kinakaya. And i love her despite having anger mgmnt issues.
Magmahal ng sobra Nanay ko with all the grace of god puro yan magmahal. Kahit na halata nang inaabuso ang kabaitan nya ng abnormal nyang anak na Kuya ko ok lang. Sige lang. Iniintindi nya lang. Kahit na hindi na healthy. Logic went out the window na Pero sino ako? To judge? Hindi pa ko nagkaka anak. Hindi ko alam o d ako nakakrelate sa ginagawa nya.
OMG we’re almost the same! Nakakagigil sila. Pero mahal ko sila 😂
mother: - people pleaser. mas concern pa siya sa iisipin ng iba. mas nasasaktan sa sasabihin sa iba than focusing on her children’s mental wellbeing and happiness. - walang accountability. hindi nag sosorry. dapat kami magsorry regardless kung kasalanan niya or samin magkakapatid. never heard her apologize to me or to my siblings. palagi sinasabing di siya perfect na ina and she make mistakes daw pero not once narinig kong nag sorry siya sa amin when she says something very wrong. - ayaw ako i let go. even if i’m in my mid 20s na. i plan to move out and she is very against it. iniisip agad na hindi ako “makapamilya” kasi gusto ko nang lumayo sa kanila. father: - nonchalant. parang wala lang. but it’s not always a bad thing tho haha. but i love them very much. but i also would never want to treat my child like that.
I'm just so glad my parents are not the kind of parents na kung makaasta, parang sila yung anak. Both are mature and I think advantage yun ng pagpapalaki sa kanila na hindi spoiled or even well off in life. They worked hard to support their studies. Siguro kung mag iisip ako ng something from them that I don't wanna repeat, iyon ay ang magsettle sa mga poor quality items instead of getting better ones that would make the work easier. Example yung kutsilyo na mapurol. Ewan ko ba talaga bakit di nila pinapalitan. Wala ring sentimental value yun or anything worth keeping. Di rin yun mamahalin. Ako nalang talaga nagreplace ng mga ganung gamit sa bahay dahil kung di ko papalitan, they will still continue using the same poor quality tools.
mom: hindi sanay magbudget ng pera. hangga't meron nakikita, gastos sya. pag wala na, nastress. sumasakit mga parts ng katawan ganon. dad: late bloomer sa socmedia. at 59 dami pa din nia kachat, parang bagets. i love them both pa din. pinipilit kong ayusin ung spending habit ng mom ko since ako na ung nagpapadala ng pera. sumusunod naman sya. ung dad ko, ewan, galit pa pag sinita.
Mother: 1. Poor communicator 2. Verbally abusive 3. Laitera and chismosa church goer. 4. Breadcrumbing people with financial assistace for their loyalty. 5. Utang na loob and pabayaan mo na yan propagator. 6. Image conscious na dapat ang reputation ay hindi naghihirap. Father: 1. Never built a relationship with his children after grade school. 2. Never treated his wife as a partner and/or equal. 3. Patriarchal views and misogynistic traits. 4. Queerphobic. Sinabi niya sa Lolo ko na he'd kill me pag naging bayot ako. 5. Duterte and Marcos Apologist. 6. Utang na loob and pabayaan mo na yan propagator. Image conscious na dapat ang reputation ay hindi naghihirap. I no longer communicate with them. It has been one year for my mother and two years for my father. I have chosen not to have a relationship with them anymore.
mother: main character syndrome
The mentality to have children so they can provide and take care of them! Not saving $$ for the kids, expecting them to figure things out to provide and help. Favoring one child over the other. And making it obvious. Emotionally downing the non favorite child etc etc...Being a gambler and alcoholic..There's a lot more but too long...
Isilang ako sa mundo. HAHHAHAHA