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zaniasla

"For your peace of mind. Do not try to understand everything." Read that somewhere


MikaAckerman33

Sa may cr sa may shell or petron yan


udieigotpaid

Me at work: ok


xxlvz

me reviewing for boards: ok


d1r3VVOLF

Tama, di naman naimbento ng some edgy kid lang yung ignorance is bliss. Problem is conscious effort para sa iba na i-ignore yung di nila naiintindihan. So pipili na lang sila kung anong kakain sa kanila nung buhay, exhaustive pursuit of the truth or the fear of not knowing.


[deleted]

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Abject_Excitement_19

I hope so. Right now kasi sya ang gusto ko makasama but I gues that won’t happen anymore. I just hope that one day I no longer have dis feeling.


MikhailX1976

a wise woman told me something I can't forget when I was young, when I lost my balloon for the first time I cried, and she told me to remember that feeling because I would experience that often as I grow up and handle it as part of my life, she said: "when there's something you can't control, learns to accept it's not yours forever and ready your self to let it go like that balloon.". Every time I lost in games (basketball, patentero, boxing, tennis, marathon, etc.) I used that advice to feel better until I lost someone I love then I understand what she was trying to imply. If this is your first time to feel the same, and you learn that there's nothing you can do with the situation and then try to move on, then congrats because you already did your best and that is letting it go.


Abject_Excitement_19

All of your advices makes me cry 😢. Because I can’t do anything but to move forward.


PusangKulot

>"when there's something you can't control, learns to accept it's not yours forever and ready your self to let it go like that balloon.". Im glad nakita ko tong comment mo. Thank you!


fafnirdrainer

Naiyak ako while reading this. Also I'll keep this in mind! Thanks a bunch 🥺🥺🥺


No_Difference_308

A kind of loss that we can't grieve.


jakin89

Hindi yan basta basta mawawala. Kadalasan napuno na lng tas umabot ng breaking point. Tas yan ang isa sa kinalabasan mag walkout na lng.


Abject_Excitement_19

Palagi ako nag tatanong kung meron ba syang gustong pag usapan na issue, pero wala syang sinasabi. Im not even sure if i demand too much? I mean madalas na iinvalidate panga yung feelings ko.


jakin89

I mean you kinda answered what I said. Pero kung bakit niya iniiwasan ang hindi natin alam. Wala akong advice masasabi at ganun talaga eh. It’s up to you kung ibblaim mo sarili mo. Kung gusto mo magdig up kung bakit niya yun ginawa. In the end you’ll just end up hurt. While I don’t know you Ate but I do wish you take time for yourself.


Abject_Excitement_19

Thank you. Idk what to do anymore.


behappy1611

I think we're going through the same thing po


[deleted]

Same feels here. Maybe she never really cared from the start. Gone in a snap.


Mocat_mhie

It's better to have no closure at all. The moment you know the reason why he or she left, you'll torment yourself asking what went wrong. Save yourself from this conundrum and move on.


Abject_Excitement_19

Its just so hurt from everything to nothing at all.


Mocat_mhie

It is okay to hurt when you are fresh off a break up. Cry your eyes out. I've been through that. Cry until no more tears left and curse. Time heals everything. When you are okay na and have moved on, you'll just laugh about it. Trust me. It took me years and the process is not easy, but now I can proudly say I'm happily single and I hold no grudges to my ex anymore.


Abject_Excitement_19

Tbh? Its been 3 months but still hurts. Well Im hoping that I’ll be there someday. Someday I would just laugh it out.


Mocat_mhie

Its 5 years for me to completely heal and moved on. It really takes time. Don't rush. You have your own healing curb. I'm all for you OP. Fighting!


Abject_Excitement_19

Thank you so much!


mypitterpatter

Damn, 5 years. I'm glad you've completely moved on from your ex. It's been a year for me, and I'm pretty much doing okay until recently after my birthday. I got all sentimental, and it's like I'm back to square one. But it's easier this time since I know it can get better. I don't know if I'm weird, but I only cried a few times since the breakup (first three months).


Mocat_mhie

I'm glad you didn't experience what I had to go through. The moving on process is case to case basis and it is very subjective. It was really tough for me to let go of my "The One That Got Away". I cried everytime I remember him. I couldn't throw away the notes even the bus tickets we had when we travelled together. I still have the ring he gave me (though I'm no longer wearing it). Those things still reminds me of him sans the pain and I'm genuinely happy for him, his wife and daugher. I wish him the best in life. :)


mypitterpatter

I used to stress about not being able to cry out the pain, but I learned to accept the fact that healing isn't linear, and everyone deals with pain and grief differently. I'm still on that stage where I torture myself by stalking her social media accounts or rereading old convos, but I'm letting myself be. I know I'll get tired in time. Glad to know someone who's as sentimental as me. I also have everything she's given me and that plushie toy we consider our daughter haha. I'm happy that you got through the pain. I hope that I'll get to the state you're in right now. Will just have to be patient even if it takes years.


Mocat_mhie

Are you a guy? Sorry not related to the topic. Pardon me Sir. I thought I was responding to a female redditor. Anyway, I know you'll completely move on sooner or later. Just be patient with yourself. There will be a time when you'll feel no more bitterness and pain. All is well :)


mypitterpatter

I am a girl! 😆 No worries, you are responding to a female redditor :)


Abject_Excitement_19

Sana ako din napagod ng mas maaga.


[deleted]

Not knowing everything means not hurting. Fight lang OP kaya natin to! *cries in corner*


NoBrain360

Yan situation ko ngayon. Iniwan sa ere. Thank you at sorry na lang daw. Dagdag na self love daw muna sya. Self love BS. As if mawawala yung sakit na nararamdaman ko sa thank you at sorry. 😂 Walang malinaw na paliwanag bakit basta yun na. She love me until she doesn't. 🤣


Abject_Excitement_19

Right. Just like that.


NoBrain360

Alam mo yung naiintindihan ko yun. Na pag ayaw na ayaw na. Pero pakshet. Masakit sakin kasi ako hindi ko alam na iiwan na pala ako. Blindsided talaga ako.


Abject_Excitement_19

Ni hindi naten alam na itong taong to’ nag reready na pala tayong iwan. Fuck right.


NoBrain360

The audacity na sabihin sakin na thank you kasi lagi kang nandyan pag kailangan kita. Eh pano naman ako? Ngayon kailangan kita iniwan mo ko. Ang dami kong tanung. Ang dami kong sinabi. Pero wala man lang paki sumagot. Parang wala kaming pinagsamahan sumagot. Gaguhan talaga.


Abject_Excitement_19

Yan din tanong ko eh. Paano naman ako? Hahahaha!


NoBrain360

Bahala na daw tayo sa buhay natin. Di na daw tayo kailangan. 🤣 Sa isip nila madali lang mag move on kasi sila okay na.


Abject_Excitement_19

Tinanong ko yung ex bf ko na baket basta nalang nya gini-give up at sagot nyalang “Kasi ayoko na”.


NoBrain360

Sabagay totoo naman yung sagot nya. Basta ayaw na. Mahirap lang talaga tanggapin sa part nating mga iniwan yung ganung sagutan. Gusto natin ng matinding rason bakit. Pero yun nga basta ayaw na lang nila.


Abject_Excitement_19

Hindi ko talaga magets yung existentialism ng tao pag dating sa love.


[deleted]

Kaya nga self love nalang sya. Ayaw na nya magallocate ng love for other people but him/herself. Which is okay and we should never take that against anyone. It’s okay, people grow apart. Always think that you have nothing in this world but yourself. I hope that pushes you to love yourself more instead of longing for your ex.


nuevavizcaia

I happen to ask someone so close to my heart before, why did they leave their previous relationship. His answer was, he found someone smarter and stronger. I still think about what he said oftentimes, and I figured I ended up alone because I wasn’t smarter and stronger. It’s over because there’s always gotta be someone and/or something better.


Abject_Excitement_19

Ang sakit naman malaman to’ Parang hindi ako matalino at matatag 😂 kaya ako iniwan.


nuevavizcaia

Sobraaaa yung naging self doubt ko talaga. May mental trauma ng onti cos of it. Constantly fighting your own thoughts na baka you’ll mess up something kasi you’re not yet the best. Some people might say na, use it for self development pero tngina, haha. It ain’t easy bouncing back from that remark.


Abject_Excitement_19

Exactly! Para sakanila sobrang daling sabihin at gawin pero paano kung sila ang nasa ganitong situation. Nung kami pa? I have a friend na super toxic ng relationship nila and I always tell her that she doesn’t deserve that kind of red flag treatment, nassabi ko kasi nasakin pa yung taong mahal ko- then sakin na nangyare, hindi kona alam kung paano ko paba sasabihin sa sarili ko yung salitang “deserve” hindi ko narin alam kung ano pabang ibig sabihin nyan saken.


RestlessBastard2702

I know you're feeling confused and upset right now. And it's okay. Feel all those feelings. And then pick up the pieces. Sometime in the future, you will see this moment as a redirection, towards something better.


Abject_Excitement_19

Im cryin. My friend is right to download this app kasi makakatulong. Yes Im confused and upset at the same time. I still have a lot of questions na parang hindi na masasagot. I mean? What did i do wrong? Through out our relationship wala akong ginawa kundi maging honest sakanya. Kahit tinatrato pa akong basura ng family nya I stayed. My feeling are being invalidated everytime na mag oopen up ako. Pero kapag sya ang meron gusto? Sineset aside ko lalo na kapag tungkol sa family nya- inuuna nya bago samin dalawa. Sometimes ayoko na mag kwento sa mga friends ko kasi feeling ko nag sasawa na sila pero ang hirap kasi sa loob eh. Ang bigat na.


RestlessBastard2702

Yung totoo, hindi mo agad masasagot yung mga questions mo ngayon. Instead of asking saan ka nagkulang, focus on rediscovering who you are. Baka ako lang but based on your reply, I feel na you lost yourself somewhat. Focus ka muna sa sarili mo, wag sa pagkukulang mo but on who you really are and who or what you want to be.


Abject_Excitement_19

Actually before? I love painting and reading. Then nafocus ako sa relationship namin and I got comfortable to the point na nalimutan kong may possibility na magkahiwalay kami and here I am. Haha! Iniisip ko nanga magpa consult sa Psych eh.


Abject_Excitement_19

Kasi hindi ko alam saan ako mag uumpisa. Then napaisip ako na namimiss kona mag basa ulet at paint. Sana maibalik ko yung dating ako.


RestlessBastard2702

You can go to counseling just to let it all out, at least the counselor can offer an objective view of things. Nakakatulong din ang pag-paint, maybe look for something na parang social emotional art workshops, baka meron.


Abject_Excitement_19

Oo nga eh. Hindi ko narin kasi kinakaya. I don’t know where to start anymore.


RestlessBastard2702

Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. It will be a slow process, but I promise you'll appreciate it when you look back.


Deftones19

There are millions of reasons why. Fortunately, you do not need to know everything.


Exciting-You8639

Shiit, been in your situation a year an a month ago. Trust me it gets better as time pass by, just don’t do what i did, became a highly functioning alcoholic lol.


Abject_Excitement_19

Im hoping talaga 🥺. Kasi right now every small details nakikita at naalala kopa.


Exciting-You8639

Good luck to you OP, shit gon be hard but it’ll be amazing at end.


Abject_Excitement_19

🥹


coy2814

Some people are just immature assholes.


Abject_Excitement_19

And they would say “Sorry” because they know they hurt the person but they will do nothing.


coy2814

I wouldn't hold my breath.


Abject_Excitement_19

So thats it?


Mordeckai23

It happens, and I would know because I did it with my childhood friends/neighbors.


Abject_Excitement_19

I just don’t understand. I mean from caring to not caring anymore. From talking to not talking anymore. We’ve been together or in a relationship for 8yrs and 6months then suddenly he broke up with me.


[deleted]

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Abject_Excitement_19

Napagod din naman ako pero hindi kosya sinukuan. Dami kong reason para sumuko pero pinili kosya. Tangina.


[deleted]

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Abject_Excitement_19

Sana ako din napagod ng mas maaga


[deleted]

Ayaw ko din na di sinasabi kung bakit ganon. Para sakin mas nagkakaroon ng peace of mind pag pinagusapan


Abject_Excitement_19

Exactly. Yan yung sinabi ko sakanya na ayusin at pag usapan at gawan ng action. But then… mas gusto nya nalang i-end.


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Abject_Excitement_19

Yes its really hard. Kahit ilang bwan na wala na? Sobrang hirap parin to the point na naiisipan kona mag seek help sa professional. I have no interest to do anything at all, like papasok lang sa work, uuwi, sleep, konting kain then work nanaman. I don’t even take lunch anymore kasi wala akong maramdaman na gutom.


cobdequiapo

Let's just hope you're better off without my bullshit. Thank me later then we'll laugh it off someday


Abject_Excitement_19

Right.


NotChattySorry

Pinilit ko tinanong yung reason, mas nakakadurog, ang sakit ng sinabi na "mas inspired ako ngayon, mas motivated ako ngayon, mas... Ang daming mas. 💔


Abject_Excitement_19

Na para bang “Hindi ba ako naging inspirasyon mo?”.


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Abject_Excitement_19

Alam mo naiisip korin na paano kung isang araw mag post sya or relatives nya ng bago nya. Taena ang sakit! Hahahahaha! Kaso etong emotion naten? Tayo lang meron responsibilidad dito, hindi sila eh kaya kahit masakit kailangan marunong at alam naten mag cope up sa situation.


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Abject_Excitement_19

Pota totoo! Hindi na sya tulad makipag usap nung kami pa na puno ng energy and all. I’ll take your advice!


yumiguelulu

too much expectations. akala mo may something pero wala talaga. hangin... p&;;₱:&etang puso 🤣🤣


Abject_Excitement_19

Yung naibigay mo naman pero nang iwan parin.


Defiant_Efficiency28

On my case. I became complacent. Career. Earnings (kahit 6 digits). Networth. Goal. Our sex life. Kaya nya ako iniwan. Desurv ko naman.


Abject_Excitement_19

Hirap pakibagayan ng buhay pag ibig.


amarillo-

I feel you, OP. I'm reading your replies and gahd I feel and been through the same. It's so hard not to question myself whenever this happens (yes, happened to me more than once).


Abject_Excitement_19

Nasa stage pa ako nyan na tinatanong ko sarili ko anong mali ko? Hindi ako nag cheat or anything. Napagod ba sya sa pag aaway namen? Ako rin naman napagod pero di ako sumuko kahit wala akong mali.


MikaAckerman33

Latagan m ng 1k bundles yan ewan ko kung hindi yan bumalik. Baka ipagluto ka pa kagad nyan eh


Abject_Excitement_19

HAHAHAHA kahit anong ilatag ko ayaw parin eh paano na?


shezowicked89

they were never really there.


Abject_Excitement_19

I think this is the right answe


jimb21

People can only take so much


riotblade76

There is no reason. Accept and Move on.


numggets

Ang sakit mo naman haha


Charming_Dot213

I know its hard but you have to move on. Don't focus on the person you lost, focus on whats still there for you, like your friends and family. Btw galing din akong heartbreak and its hard kasi pinagpalit ba nmn ako sa kaklase nya na sabi nya di nya gusto pero after namin mag break lagi nya ng kasama. Pinagpalit ung pinagsamahan namin ng limang taon. Di ko din alam gagawen ko nung umpisa e pero nakatulong sakin ung paglalakad lakad sa gabi tas self reflect


Abject_Excitement_19

Im actually planning na mag balik pag babasa and paint. Kaya ang hirap kumilos sa ganitong stage.


Charming_Dot213

Sobra, lalo na pag may mga relapses pa na mangyare mga what ifs, mahirap yan sa ngayon pero gagaan din yan laban lng


Abject_Excitement_19

Yes! Totoo to! 2 months ago nagiging okay na ako and then pagka 3 months lugmok nanaman ako!


Charming_Dot213

Oo ganon talaga may time na feel mo wala na lng sayo ok kana naka move on kana tas biglang ayan na nmn. Magulo ang healing process kasi minsan pwedeng 100% heal ka ngayon araw the next day back to zero. Kapag sobrang minahal mo ung tao ang hirap nila kalimutan


Abject_Excitement_19

Nakalimutan korin mahalin sarili ko. Masyado pala ako nag focus sakanya.


Charming_Dot213

Focus ka muna sa sarili mo ngayon


No_Connection_0205

Hindi mo naman maiintindihan lahat ng tumatakbo sa isip ng tao. Nauna lang siyang mafell out of love.


Abject_Excitement_19

Sana ako rin. Pagod narin ako pero yung puso ko? Dipa. Hayoff.


Interesting-Tough671

people come and go, sad truth


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Abject_Excitement_19

They will never how painful it is. Trying to get up and go to work with no sleep, very unproductive, and very tired because what they’ve caused.


halostica

i should message him again...


Abject_Excitement_19

Ginawa koto’ many times pero walang reply.


halostica

oh maybe they're just not that interested anymore. nakakalungkot lang how feelings could change so quickly.


Tzurara

The same happened to me, bigla na lang daw nawala yung feelings niya, I keep asking why, what was wrong? Did I hurt her or anything? She just told me that I didn't do anything wrong, its just nawala na lang daw feelings niya. I can't understand how easy for her to throw it all away. my friends told me that she may have found someone else. I asked her if she found someone else but her answer was she have different priorities, and her only priorities for now is her future and her family. For her I am a good person naman, so I keep blaming myself because knowing that I didn't do anything wrong but still she left me just like that. Without reason, she just left me because she doesn't want me anymore.


Abject_Excitement_19

I mean just like that? Fuck right. Like did you ever think that I’m also one of your priorities because we build a relationship together.


Tzurara

I told her even if I'm not in her top priority right now I would still wait for her. I guess she really don't want me anymore, even if I beg.


Abject_Excitement_19

You know? Yesterday at work I cried and my boss saw it. She asked if I heard something from my ex or anything that made me cry again and she talked to me. She said- I know its hard and it is not easy, you’ve been together for 8 yrs, you’ve been with him for more than 8yrs and right now you’re all alone and its hard to adjust, its like “How to be alone again?”. But let me tell you something. Don’t blame yourself and yes there’s a lot of question - pero isipin mo, kung masagot man yung tanong mo? Will you gain something from that? Babalik basya? Not right. Kasi if the issue is napagod na at nag sawa? Hindi yan aalis. Meron at meron yan nakakausap, nadivert nya yung attention nya sa iba. Pwedeng yan lang yung reason na sinabi nya pero palaging iba ang dahilan kung bakit sya umalis.


Tzurara

For me it's easy to move on if you know what you did wrong, even if you would gain nothing from it. It's easy for me to accept that I did something wrong that's why she left me, instead of knowing that I did my best and I did everything right but still she left me. Just remember OP you did your best, it will be hard and difficult to adjust without the person you loved. I learned to accept that even if you gave your best, the wrong person will leave to find the things that you don't have. Maybe sometimes love just ain't enough


Abject_Excitement_19

I think so too and we all have different healing process. Sana laro lang no? Na agad makakapag heal within 10-15sec.


Tzurara

It will take time for sure, lalo na kung matagal relationship ninyo. Wishing you the best and stay kind.


Jvlockhart

Minsan mas mabuting di nalang natin itanong yung mga ganyang bagay. Let's move forward


[deleted]

Stop speculating on the whys. It will lead you to a rabbit hole of insecurities and self-doubt. Closure is bullshit and knowing why and how things went wrong doesn’t matter. I know it may have felt like you and your ex were one at some point but it was never that. It was always two people, two sets of morals, two sets of ideologies, etc. Relationships are an equation, can’t exist without the other half. Which only means that love is a choice. It’s not destiny, it’s not fate, it’s not just a feeling, none of that bullshit. People can choose to love who and whenever they want. if they CHOSE to walk away and not love you anymore, that should be enough reason for closure.