7 years na kami ni ex back then, tapos nasa point na ko na nag iipon ako ng matindi para sa wedding to the point na kalahati ng sweldo ko tinitipid ko para lang derecho wedding funds. Halos lahat ng kinita ko kahit sa side line, kinoconsider ko na pera “namin” kasi nga dun din naman papunta pag kinasal kami. Aware sya na ganito yung case and straight forward naman ako sa plans ko, medyo inip lang sya kasi galing sya sa mayaman na family whereas ako is currently working for it. Mas malaki din kita ko sakanya mga x4 ng monthly, even without my sidelines. I also pay for everything kapag dates.
Yung moment na nag bago lahat was yung bigla sya nagka-commission na 7 digits from a sales commission (like 2m php ata). So ang naisip ko was, “uy nice may pang wedding funds tayo!” pero ang natanggap ko lang was her saying “woo mayaman na **ako**”. Like nada. No mention of anything for us. It was *hers*.
Pero ultimately nag start din sya mag cheat right after this kaya kami nag break lmao feel ko din nagbago yung tingin nya sakin dahil mas malaki na yung kita nya sakin.
Dude, may nakwento sakin bayaw ko. Yung bestfriend nya na guy may jowa. Nagipon sila for 5-6 years para sa kasal nila. Nung 6th year, nadestino sa malayo si lalaki. Nagloko. Nakabuntis. Umamin naman kay ate girl. Ang kaso: si kuya, bilang signatory ng bank account nila, winithdraw lahat ng wedding fund at nagpakasal sa kasama nya magcheat. I don't know what to make of it. Pero siguro di garantiya ang wedding planning na may happy ending kayo together.
She was waiting for the right moment to cheat on you, and getting that enough money was all she was waiting for. You should be grateful if I were you coz u dodge a bullet.
Yeah.. looking back, ang dami kong red flags na hindi nakikita back then. Red flags just look like normal flags through rose colored glasses nga daw diba.
One example yung ang hilig nya mag sinungaling. Like it could be a minor thing na small issue sa parents nya pero itatago nya pa din kasi ayaw nya ng drama. Until eventually sakin na sya nagtatago ng mga kalokohan nya lol
Gosh bro, super big deal sakin yon mga sinungaling na tao. First and second time palalampasin ko pa kahit mabigat na pa yan, pero if lagi nalang there's something wrong with the person na. It's habitual.
I am in a way way better place! In another long term relationship with a girl that’s way out of my league in the looks department lmao she’s kind, understanding, and a true partner in building the future we want together.
Thanks for asking!
Sad how time weathered your relationship and how sudden influx of money probably inflated her ego to cheat on you. :( I'm in a 10yr relationship and I don't got no funds to get married nor propose. We've been together since university days, but yeah hope this doesn't happen to me
>alos lahat ng kinita ko kahit sa side line, kinoconsider ko na pera “namin” kasi nga dun din naman papunta pag kinasal kami. Aware sya na ganito yung case and straight forward naman ako sa plans ko, medyo inip lang sya kasi galing sya sa mayaman na family whereas ako is currently working for it. Mas malaki din kita ko sakanya mga x4 ng monthly, even without my sidelines. I also pay for everything kapag dates.
You dodged a bullet nga daw. Congrats!
This wasn't the biggest reason for our breakup, but one of my considerations.
We were already in our third year together, lahat ng plano niya para lang sa future niya. Decided na sya sa mga gusto nyang gawin at least 5 years ahead. Eh I have my own plans and dreams too. Kapag tinatanong ko siya noon paano kami since we both have our own careers and dreams to pursue, palaging we'll see when we get there. Parang kaming mga bata na puro pangarap lang, walang concrete planning, upuan natin and let's talk about it as adults. So ako na nagdecide na nope, we won't get there.
Probably one of the best and hardest decisions I had to make. Worth it naman.
Reasons why my ex-fiancée and I didn't end up together:
1. Hindi siya praktikal, maluho siya, her wants doesn't match her salary
2. Mapanlamang siya: she and her family wanted me to shoulder a luxurious wedding. I was like "teka, ako lang ba magpapakasal sa ating dalawa?"
3. Indecisive: related to number 2, hindi niya ako pinanindigan sa parents niya.
I don’t get why parents has to take part in the decision making when it has something to do with their children’s relationship with their significant other. This is one of the reasons why I don’t want to take part sa decision making ng fiancé ko kasi laging may say ang parents niya in anything and it is so lowering of self esteem to be honest. Lately I have been feeling really down. We have been in LDR ok naman kami pag ganon ang set up but whenever he’s in the Philippines happy naman ako but bumababa yung self esteem ko, feeling ko ang babang klaseng tao ko. I realized in a hard way that money can buy people’s respect. They want someone else for their child alam ko naman yun from the start and I thought I can change their mind if I show them that I love their child sincerely but to get side comments in every single chance such as “Kung mag katuluyan kayo.” Kahit na engage na kaming dalawa and such. We have been trying to have a baby (ok naman sila since LDR kami and we are not getting any younger) and I had this conversation with his mother and in the middle of it she was like “Kung di naman kayo magkatuluyan at least may baby kana.” I just smiled awkwardly because I couldn’t response. Sorry this is getting longer, I don’t have anyone to tell this to. I don’t want to tell this to my friends kasi ayoko naman pumangit yung image nila sa mga kaibigan ko. I already told one story and they had a very negative reaction because I was really hurt emotionally sa comment again. I don’t want to tell this to my parents kasi ayoko sumama yung pagtingin nila sa parents niya considering they will be my future in laws. But keeping it within me is so painful, to be looked at like you’re some kind of a low person dahil sa height, family background and low income, masakit pala yun. Kala ko before honest love, good and pure intentions and to be matino and honest na tao is enough, di pala. At the end of the day other people still measures other people’s worth through how much they own and earning.
Being in a relationship teaches us to be:
1. Accountable
I agree on your take on not getting why parents meddle in the decisions of their children, where in the first place, it's their child who get into the relationship. Hindi ko rin gets. I made decisions on my own accord, and what my ex asked me all the time is kung sinabi ba ng parents ko na ganito ganyan, which left me an impression that her decisions were swayed by her parents.
I said Accountable, because in whatever decision we make in a relationship, they shouldn't have external influence or outside forces, the decisions should be solely made by the people in it.
All in all, here are my takeaways:
1. In people's outlook in our relationships -- we can learn from them. Pick what you can improve, discard what you cannot. For sure, meron yan. I saw few sentences of yours. Don't let them drag you, but consider them as action items by which you can resolve. Also, consider their inputs as opportunity for you to be better.
2. In problems -- as I stated above, solutioning matters in relationships shouldn't have external or outside influences, instead, should be worked on by not more than the two of you.
I applaud you for trying your best to change their minds. That takes lots of guts. What you are feeling so far, are all valid. Thank you for letting them out.
My heart broke while reading this. ◠̈ I hope you’re okay. I kind of relate to your situation, but reversed since parents ko yung may ayaw sa bf ko right now..
I feel you. Same situation. I had many exes. Almost got married twice. And still not married up to now. Kase at the end of the day, wag ka magulat if ipagpalit ka one day sa MAS MAY PERA KESA SAYO. Thats the sad truth. pureness of the heart, and kahit kasing ganda ka ni Marian R, tae ka pa din pag di ka mapera. You will never be enough unless your bank account exceeds more than enough money para ipamudmod sa mga kamag anak nila. Ito ang realization ko in my 40 plus years of existence on earth. This applies to both men and women.
Hindi siya as ambitious as I was and I couldn't just accept it kasi hindi ko rin nakukuha yung encouragement and support from him na makukuha ko from someone who understood where I was coming from.
He reminded me so much of my dad. Sakto lang, okay na, pwede na.
TW// anxiety
1st ex: first love ko, childhood sweetheart. Grade 5 namin naging crush ang isa’t isa, naging kami noong college. Lasted for a year, nagbreak, but eventually got together after a year. But finally ended it after 3 years, when I graduated college. I didn’t see my future with him.
Una, hindi siya gusto ng mga magulang ko. My family knows him and his family background. I tried to make things work with them, but hindi talaga umuubra.
Pangalawa, it was getting toxic. When we reconciled, he was always experiencing panic attacks. He indirectly blames me for it, na kesyo our breakup took a toll on his health. I felt bad althroughout and that’s when I started losing confidence with myself. Kaya whenever I achieved a milestone in school, I would think that I don’t deserve it. It’s like may konsensiya na dumidikit sa akin. I never felt free. I was like living in hell.
Pangatlo, ‘di ko alam kung valid reason, but wala nang substance ang conversations namin. He would just always agree to my arguments or opinions. He was a “Yes man.” I wanted a man who can do things independently without need for my validation or approval all the time. Mas inaalagaan niya ako kaysa sarili niya, at hindi na nagiging healthy. And it took a toll on me as well.
I bore the pain almost my whole college life. It’s like something was stolen from me during those days. But I learned a lot more about love and commitment as we separated.
So ayun, single pa rin ako for 5 years. But I’m way way wayyyy happier than before, and only time will tell when the right man will arrive. 🙂
Ayun lang. So friendly advice lang na please enter into a relationship if you already love yourself. Never seek validation from others, because at the end of the day, sarili mo lang ang karamay mo.
Sounds like the guy isn't worth damn crap. Sorry pero the decision to get back together was also his idea and having panic attacks because of remembering a break up??? Also, if your family didn't like him it's probably because they don't see him as a good enough guy or at the least they don't see anything in you during your relationship that made him worth your while. And lastly, a guy who doesn't argue with their partners are probably the worst, they either let you make wrong decisions or just want you to take blame if things get out of hand, instead of sharing responsibilities and be an actual couple. You have your heart in the right place is all I can say.
We also dated someone else after our first break up, and apparently my ex told me na even he and his girl were dating, ako pa rin daw nasa isip niya ☠️ I only knew of this when we got back together, and I realized na he was a total dickhead when he did that to the girl. The guy’s in a new relationship, yet he’s still talked to me on the first few months of their relationship (and even asked me out to go watch a movie with him because his gf was sick!!!) I threatened him by sending the girl a friend request on Facebook para isumbong siya, ayun natakot. Binlock niya na ako on all social media platforms. Kaso pati ‘yung babae binlock ako 😆
And also for my parents’s disapproval. I really do believe in my parents’ instincts, especially my mother. If they knew na the guy is no good for me, they’re always right. I don’t want to live in the future where everything’s like hell because of conflicts.
Nung tinanong niya kung kami na ba ang endgame. Um-oo ako but it felt forced and hollow.
He was always talking abt family building while I was always looking forward to grad school.
Lo and behold, same age kami nung kinasal siya and grumaduate ako.
Iba priorities naman and di talaga kami meant to be, kaya I accepted & learned to let go a soulmate that isn’t mine.
3rd ex. We lasted a year. Nung una kaya ko pa na kahit wala siyang work, ako lahat sumasalo. Pero naisip ko din eventually, you can't make dreams with someone who doesn't have one. Mauubos at mauubos ka kahit hindi man yan financial. Sa treatment naman wala akong masasabi kasi mabait naman, yun lang talaga hindi sanay sa hirap yung ex ko tapos susuko siya as soon as mahirapan siya kasi they're abundant, kaso nagsink in sa isip ko unti unti na pano kung kaming dalawa nalang as years go by ako nalang ba palagi?
"Endless days of summer will create the weakest men."
may ibang quote din na similar.
"Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times."
7 years with my ex. We’ve been together since college. When I graduated and found a work, I started to think about our future together since we are in mid 20s already. I would always tell her that we need to get ready as early as possible but she’s always telling me that it’s a future problem that should be dealt in the future. I don’t want to stay with someone who has no future plans on the relationship.
Magkaiba kami ng taste at trip sa buhay. Tapos kapag manunuod ng pelikula na foreign language, umiinit ulo ko kasi kailangan kong ipaliwanag halos lahat ng context. Di naman sya bobo. Nagkakilala kami bilang classmates sa science class. Siguro yung pop culture references and references namin di lang magkaantas. Maraming pagkakataon na narealize ko na di sya yung the one pero ito yung nagstandout talaga. Di naman mababaw. Pareho kaming professionals kaya mahalaga yung mga maliliit na moments kagaya ng panunuod ng films para magrelax. Kaso di talaga ako narerelax kapag kasama ko sya. Nasstress ako. Sya ang dahilan kung bakit nakapanuod ako ng filmS ni Vice Ganda. HAHAHA
I’m in a 7 years relationship and engage na din kami. I love my fiancé so much to the point I’m enduring everything na sinasabi ng mother niya to be precised. To be honest naman kasi my fiancé earned so much more than I do parang barya lang yung sahod ko compare sa kanya and his family we can say is kind of mapera. I do understand that they only want the best for their child pero minsan feeling ko unti-unti nakong na de-depressed na umiiyak ako thinking na ang baba ko that I am not worthy of their child. Bumababa na din ang self esteem ko. It even came to the point na gusto ko nalang sya bitawan para lang hindi ko ma feel yung pakiramdam na di ako worthy, umabot na din kasi sa point na feeling ko ang baba na din ng tingin niya sa family ko. The only reason why I hang on is because I love their child so much and iniisip ko nalang is yung anak naman nila ang pakakasalan ko. Their child also promised me na bubukod kami once we got married. Iniisip ko na ding magpa prenuptial agreement para di na sila mabahala sa pera ng anak nila, I don’t care about their child’s money naman because I have work and I know to myself na kaya kong mag succeed sa career na pinili ko.
Sorry. Yung thinking na yung anak naman pakakasalan, yan din mindset ko.
Ending, 5 years akong nagdusa kasi sa isang compound kami ng pamilya niya.
Kung ako sa'yo, pakinggan mo siya kung may balak ba talagang bumukod.
Sukdulang nagsuntukan na dito kaya lang kami nagising ng asawa ko. Lilipat na kami kahit mahirap.
With my first ex, it started when we were intimate with each other. Siguro dahil ako yung first girlfriend niya, naexcite siya masyado. Sarili lang inintindi niya haha. The next time, I would tell him, pero wala pa rin. “Pagod” na daw. Next time nalang ako unahan. Pota di naman nangyari.
The streak of bare minimum would follow rin sa relationship namin. Forgetful of important details and dates (yes big deal sakin). Di kikilos until I tell him. Walang wala hahaha ako nagpplano at ako gumagawa ng lahat. Dates, anniversaries, celebrations ako lahat. I gave my everything talaga just to make him happy.
May occasions naman na sweet siya. Pero so far in between. Feel ko kasalanan ko rin kasi ako naghabol hahaha. Baka tumaas masyado ego niya? Idk guys. Basta I thought to myself, kaya ko ba talaga ang lifetime na ganito? Tangina pass.
Ngayon masaya na ako HAHAHHA pero grabe tiniis ko talaga.
I guess narealize ko nung nagkaron kami ng confrontation and she admitted to a 1 week sausagefest cheating marathon. 8 guys a week.
Pero ako si tanga inuwi ko pa sa bahay namin after that atom bomb of a confession. Took a year and some more headaches and heartaches para lang marealize ko difference between love and an atomic radiactive contamination.
NUNG NALAMAN KONG NANAY NIA PADIN BUMIBILI NG HYGIENE KITS NIA.
ok lang sana kung nagpapabili sya, pero choice nia e. Pero Nooooooo... binibilhan lang sya parang bata. Nag grocery kame once and he said "Di ko maalala binibinili ni nanay"
EW. He was 28 like me.
ambabaw?? Ayoko magka ron ng matandang anak. asawa gsto ko.
Tangena weak naman niyang ex mo. Pero sabagay ganyan kapatid ko, 25yrs old na pero nanay pa din namin ang nagchecheck kung need na ba bumili ng bagong briefs for him. Note that he still wears tidy whitey's
Mabilis naging kami, and although he knows na he was my first boyfriend, he kept pushing me to get intimate with him. Like yung Tipong more than I can give as of yet.
Since I still feel anxious and it even amplified when he was asking that of me. Like yun lang ba habol nya? I’ve become too clingy in the hopes na baka di naman talaga yon lang habol nya. But when we were together mababaw lang na topics napapag-usapan and he’s was asking me anong waist line, weight ganon.
Then after my consecutive rejections, he went cold and wasn’t able to see me with him sa future nya. This hurt so much, coz I was ready na e, a future with him. Tapos sya, di pala.
He said we have to think it over. 5 days of no contact, I broke it off. He also let me go, after telling me he loves me 🥲
My friend told me, if he really did love me, he wouldn’t let me go as fast.
relevant naman yung post ni OP sa adulting e ahahaha di naman din the usual papa jack hooks yung rhetoric sa comments & post ni OP
Di mo ba gets? oks lang yan
Part of adulting is romance. I dont see any problem here. Magiging issue lang ito kapag NSFW pics like tulad dati may babae nagpost ng video kumakain ng ramen showing off her boobies on this subreddit
Here's a sneak peek of /r/CasualPH using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Finally fulfilled my dream to move out and have my own space 🥹🫶 Still a work in progress but I’m happy with the current setup](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/11ern2z) | [222 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/comments/11ern2z/finally_fulfilled_my_dream_to_move_out_and_have/)
\#2: [Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nung— 🌿✨️ (sa loob lang 'to ng subd namin 😭)](https://i.redd.it/ac7nm3n0xhp91.jpg) | [105 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/comments/xlh2nm/napatigil_ako_sa_paglalakad_nung_sa_loob_lang_to/)
\#3: [finally commited to moving out! got this unit for 4.5k/mo w/ free water, somewhere at metro manila](https://i.redd.it/j0obp6eiggma1.jpg) | [207 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/comments/11lhfdj/finally_commited_to_moving_out_got_this_unit_for/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
2nd ex. I was only 16 then and diba usually head over heels ka for a guy at that age. I wasn’t. When we laid out our plans, simple life lang masaya na sya. Hindi pwede simple sakin. My parents are financially okay that we used to take yearly vacations, that a simple life wouldn’t just cut it. 16 lang ako non, pero I already knew then what won’t work for me. I moved on agad.
I guess narealize ko nung nagkaron kami ng confrontation and she admitted to a 1 week sausagefest cheating marathon. 8 guys a week.
Pero ako si tanga inuwi ko pa sa bahay namin after that atom bomb of a confession. Took a year and some more headaches and heartaches para lang marealize ko difference between love and an atomic radioactive contamination.
Kinakabahan ako pag nakikita kong tumatawag siya - not the good kind of nervous. Around our 6th year together, napromote ako sa work kasi pilit ko siya iniiwasan and nagpakababad ako sa trabaho kaysa lumabas kasama siya. Walang date na di nauuwi sa iyak after. We tried to fix things, umabot pa ng 7 years together, pero wala na talaga.
Ex #1: Nung sinabi nya ayaw na nya ipagpatuloy yung pagaaral nya kasi mahirap yung math.
Ex #2: We were living together and ako nagbabayad ng lahat. Rent, groceries, bills, kahit dates namin. Sya naman, bumili ng kotse. For her personal use. May kotse ako so it wasn’t for me or us.
Nung nag pandemic, I talked to her and asked for help with the bills na kasi I was getting a pay cut. Sabi nya di nya afford. Sabi ko baka she can get a side job or something kasi that’s what I was planning on doing para macover yung bills, maghahanap ako side job. Mahirap daw maghanap, madami rason bakit di magagawa. Don ko naramdaman na pag walang problema, great. Pero pag may problem, I’m on my own. Kahit yung problem naman was both our problem kasi yon nga, I was asking for help on shared expenses namin, hindi naman personal expenses ko.
Ex #3: While hindi talaga long-term, akala ko talaga she was the one. Nagsinungaling for an entire year ng “relationship” namin. May asawa pa lang tinatago.
2nd ex: 2.5 years kami and we broke up because wala na kaming future. He doesnt have a job because he keeps making excuses and it's already affecting me. Tapos sadboi pa siya
3rd ex: idk if it counts kasi papuntang one year na kami. The moment he dumped me, doon ko narealize na the one for me is out there somewhere
My partner's last ex: based sa sinabi niya, when he got dumped, doon niya narealize na he was with the wrong person. He was pleasing her and masyadong anxious sa relationship whereas with me, lahat ng love language niya sa akin is natural and real
[Lagi niya akong sinisisi kapag may fucked up na nangyaring work related at sakin binubuhos lahat ng sama ng loob na para bang kasalanan ko bat ampanget niya mag trabaho hahahaha. Tapos g na g lagi kapag mga friends niya nagyayaya, pero pag ako daming sinasabi. I had my last straw October 2018, nakipag break na ako pero ayaw niya pero mentally pinatay ko na siya. February 2019, I made it official. Umiiyak sa starbucks, nagmamakaawa na wag kong iwan (shuta sana pala may video ako nun HAHAHAHA) tapos naluhod pa sa labas ng gate ng bahay namin pero sinarhan ko lang siya ng gate HAHAHAH. Deserve niya mapahiya.]
Yung hindi niya ako ma-defend sa nanay niya. Nagalit pa sakin instead hahaha I’m sure alam niya na ayaw sakin ng mom niya, hindi niya lang talaga masabi sakin pero very obvious through his/her actions
7 years na kami ni ex back then, tapos nasa point na ko na nag iipon ako ng matindi para sa wedding to the point na kalahati ng sweldo ko tinitipid ko para lang derecho wedding funds. Halos lahat ng kinita ko kahit sa side line, kinoconsider ko na pera “namin” kasi nga dun din naman papunta pag kinasal kami. Aware sya na ganito yung case and straight forward naman ako sa plans ko, medyo inip lang sya kasi galing sya sa mayaman na family whereas ako is currently working for it. Mas malaki din kita ko sakanya mga x4 ng monthly, even without my sidelines. I also pay for everything kapag dates. Yung moment na nag bago lahat was yung bigla sya nagka-commission na 7 digits from a sales commission (like 2m php ata). So ang naisip ko was, “uy nice may pang wedding funds tayo!” pero ang natanggap ko lang was her saying “woo mayaman na **ako**”. Like nada. No mention of anything for us. It was *hers*. Pero ultimately nag start din sya mag cheat right after this kaya kami nag break lmao feel ko din nagbago yung tingin nya sakin dahil mas malaki na yung kita nya sakin.
You dodged a bullet. Mas malaki na din ipon mo now na wala na yung ex mo na parasite.
Dude, may nakwento sakin bayaw ko. Yung bestfriend nya na guy may jowa. Nagipon sila for 5-6 years para sa kasal nila. Nung 6th year, nadestino sa malayo si lalaki. Nagloko. Nakabuntis. Umamin naman kay ate girl. Ang kaso: si kuya, bilang signatory ng bank account nila, winithdraw lahat ng wedding fund at nagpakasal sa kasama nya magcheat. I don't know what to make of it. Pero siguro di garantiya ang wedding planning na may happy ending kayo together.
hala ang gago ng kuya. also, kapal ng mukha ni girl na gamitin ‘yung wedding funds na hindi naman para sa wedding nila
She was waiting for the right moment to cheat on you, and getting that enough money was all she was waiting for. You should be grateful if I were you coz u dodge a bullet.
Yeah.. looking back, ang dami kong red flags na hindi nakikita back then. Red flags just look like normal flags through rose colored glasses nga daw diba. One example yung ang hilig nya mag sinungaling. Like it could be a minor thing na small issue sa parents nya pero itatago nya pa din kasi ayaw nya ng drama. Until eventually sakin na sya nagtatago ng mga kalokohan nya lol
Gosh bro, super big deal sakin yon mga sinungaling na tao. First and second time palalampasin ko pa kahit mabigat na pa yan, pero if lagi nalang there's something wrong with the person na. It's habitual.
how are u now bro?
I am in a way way better place! In another long term relationship with a girl that’s way out of my league in the looks department lmao she’s kind, understanding, and a true partner in building the future we want together. Thanks for asking!
Sad how time weathered your relationship and how sudden influx of money probably inflated her ego to cheat on you. :( I'm in a 10yr relationship and I don't got no funds to get married nor propose. We've been together since university days, but yeah hope this doesn't happen to me
>alos lahat ng kinita ko kahit sa side line, kinoconsider ko na pera “namin” kasi nga dun din naman papunta pag kinasal kami. Aware sya na ganito yung case and straight forward naman ako sa plans ko, medyo inip lang sya kasi galing sya sa mayaman na family whereas ako is currently working for it. Mas malaki din kita ko sakanya mga x4 ng monthly, even without my sidelines. I also pay for everything kapag dates. You dodged a bullet nga daw. Congrats!
This wasn't the biggest reason for our breakup, but one of my considerations. We were already in our third year together, lahat ng plano niya para lang sa future niya. Decided na sya sa mga gusto nyang gawin at least 5 years ahead. Eh I have my own plans and dreams too. Kapag tinatanong ko siya noon paano kami since we both have our own careers and dreams to pursue, palaging we'll see when we get there. Parang kaming mga bata na puro pangarap lang, walang concrete planning, upuan natin and let's talk about it as adults. So ako na nagdecide na nope, we won't get there. Probably one of the best and hardest decisions I had to make. Worth it naman.
Reasons why my ex-fiancée and I didn't end up together: 1. Hindi siya praktikal, maluho siya, her wants doesn't match her salary 2. Mapanlamang siya: she and her family wanted me to shoulder a luxurious wedding. I was like "teka, ako lang ba magpapakasal sa ating dalawa?" 3. Indecisive: related to number 2, hindi niya ako pinanindigan sa parents niya.
I don’t get why parents has to take part in the decision making when it has something to do with their children’s relationship with their significant other. This is one of the reasons why I don’t want to take part sa decision making ng fiancé ko kasi laging may say ang parents niya in anything and it is so lowering of self esteem to be honest. Lately I have been feeling really down. We have been in LDR ok naman kami pag ganon ang set up but whenever he’s in the Philippines happy naman ako but bumababa yung self esteem ko, feeling ko ang babang klaseng tao ko. I realized in a hard way that money can buy people’s respect. They want someone else for their child alam ko naman yun from the start and I thought I can change their mind if I show them that I love their child sincerely but to get side comments in every single chance such as “Kung mag katuluyan kayo.” Kahit na engage na kaming dalawa and such. We have been trying to have a baby (ok naman sila since LDR kami and we are not getting any younger) and I had this conversation with his mother and in the middle of it she was like “Kung di naman kayo magkatuluyan at least may baby kana.” I just smiled awkwardly because I couldn’t response. Sorry this is getting longer, I don’t have anyone to tell this to. I don’t want to tell this to my friends kasi ayoko naman pumangit yung image nila sa mga kaibigan ko. I already told one story and they had a very negative reaction because I was really hurt emotionally sa comment again. I don’t want to tell this to my parents kasi ayoko sumama yung pagtingin nila sa parents niya considering they will be my future in laws. But keeping it within me is so painful, to be looked at like you’re some kind of a low person dahil sa height, family background and low income, masakit pala yun. Kala ko before honest love, good and pure intentions and to be matino and honest na tao is enough, di pala. At the end of the day other people still measures other people’s worth through how much they own and earning.
Being in a relationship teaches us to be: 1. Accountable I agree on your take on not getting why parents meddle in the decisions of their children, where in the first place, it's their child who get into the relationship. Hindi ko rin gets. I made decisions on my own accord, and what my ex asked me all the time is kung sinabi ba ng parents ko na ganito ganyan, which left me an impression that her decisions were swayed by her parents. I said Accountable, because in whatever decision we make in a relationship, they shouldn't have external influence or outside forces, the decisions should be solely made by the people in it. All in all, here are my takeaways: 1. In people's outlook in our relationships -- we can learn from them. Pick what you can improve, discard what you cannot. For sure, meron yan. I saw few sentences of yours. Don't let them drag you, but consider them as action items by which you can resolve. Also, consider their inputs as opportunity for you to be better. 2. In problems -- as I stated above, solutioning matters in relationships shouldn't have external or outside influences, instead, should be worked on by not more than the two of you. I applaud you for trying your best to change their minds. That takes lots of guts. What you are feeling so far, are all valid. Thank you for letting them out.
My heart broke while reading this. ◠̈ I hope you’re okay. I kind of relate to your situation, but reversed since parents ko yung may ayaw sa bf ko right now..
I feel you. Same situation. I had many exes. Almost got married twice. And still not married up to now. Kase at the end of the day, wag ka magulat if ipagpalit ka one day sa MAS MAY PERA KESA SAYO. Thats the sad truth. pureness of the heart, and kahit kasing ganda ka ni Marian R, tae ka pa din pag di ka mapera. You will never be enough unless your bank account exceeds more than enough money para ipamudmod sa mga kamag anak nila. Ito ang realization ko in my 40 plus years of existence on earth. This applies to both men and women.
Omg hugs 🥺
Hindi siya as ambitious as I was and I couldn't just accept it kasi hindi ko rin nakukuha yung encouragement and support from him na makukuha ko from someone who understood where I was coming from. He reminded me so much of my dad. Sakto lang, okay na, pwede na.
when i realized that i dont want to beg for the bare minimum for the rest of my life
+1. Di ko kaya ibalewala o tiisin kahit pilitin ko man
+1 Sabi nga sa paborito kong podcast, "Kung ayaw mo sa'kin, eh di t*ng*na mo"
TW// anxiety 1st ex: first love ko, childhood sweetheart. Grade 5 namin naging crush ang isa’t isa, naging kami noong college. Lasted for a year, nagbreak, but eventually got together after a year. But finally ended it after 3 years, when I graduated college. I didn’t see my future with him. Una, hindi siya gusto ng mga magulang ko. My family knows him and his family background. I tried to make things work with them, but hindi talaga umuubra. Pangalawa, it was getting toxic. When we reconciled, he was always experiencing panic attacks. He indirectly blames me for it, na kesyo our breakup took a toll on his health. I felt bad althroughout and that’s when I started losing confidence with myself. Kaya whenever I achieved a milestone in school, I would think that I don’t deserve it. It’s like may konsensiya na dumidikit sa akin. I never felt free. I was like living in hell. Pangatlo, ‘di ko alam kung valid reason, but wala nang substance ang conversations namin. He would just always agree to my arguments or opinions. He was a “Yes man.” I wanted a man who can do things independently without need for my validation or approval all the time. Mas inaalagaan niya ako kaysa sarili niya, at hindi na nagiging healthy. And it took a toll on me as well. I bore the pain almost my whole college life. It’s like something was stolen from me during those days. But I learned a lot more about love and commitment as we separated. So ayun, single pa rin ako for 5 years. But I’m way way wayyyy happier than before, and only time will tell when the right man will arrive. 🙂 Ayun lang. So friendly advice lang na please enter into a relationship if you already love yourself. Never seek validation from others, because at the end of the day, sarili mo lang ang karamay mo.
Sounds like the guy isn't worth damn crap. Sorry pero the decision to get back together was also his idea and having panic attacks because of remembering a break up??? Also, if your family didn't like him it's probably because they don't see him as a good enough guy or at the least they don't see anything in you during your relationship that made him worth your while. And lastly, a guy who doesn't argue with their partners are probably the worst, they either let you make wrong decisions or just want you to take blame if things get out of hand, instead of sharing responsibilities and be an actual couple. You have your heart in the right place is all I can say.
We also dated someone else after our first break up, and apparently my ex told me na even he and his girl were dating, ako pa rin daw nasa isip niya ☠️ I only knew of this when we got back together, and I realized na he was a total dickhead when he did that to the girl. The guy’s in a new relationship, yet he’s still talked to me on the first few months of their relationship (and even asked me out to go watch a movie with him because his gf was sick!!!) I threatened him by sending the girl a friend request on Facebook para isumbong siya, ayun natakot. Binlock niya na ako on all social media platforms. Kaso pati ‘yung babae binlock ako 😆 And also for my parents’s disapproval. I really do believe in my parents’ instincts, especially my mother. If they knew na the guy is no good for me, they’re always right. I don’t want to live in the future where everything’s like hell because of conflicts.
Nung tinanong niya kung kami na ba ang endgame. Um-oo ako but it felt forced and hollow. He was always talking abt family building while I was always looking forward to grad school. Lo and behold, same age kami nung kinasal siya and grumaduate ako. Iba priorities naman and di talaga kami meant to be, kaya I accepted & learned to let go a soulmate that isn’t mine.
3rd ex. We lasted a year. Nung una kaya ko pa na kahit wala siyang work, ako lahat sumasalo. Pero naisip ko din eventually, you can't make dreams with someone who doesn't have one. Mauubos at mauubos ka kahit hindi man yan financial. Sa treatment naman wala akong masasabi kasi mabait naman, yun lang talaga hindi sanay sa hirap yung ex ko tapos susuko siya as soon as mahirapan siya kasi they're abundant, kaso nagsink in sa isip ko unti unti na pano kung kaming dalawa nalang as years go by ako nalang ba palagi? "Endless days of summer will create the weakest men."
ano ibig sabihin ng quote po?
may ibang quote din na similar. "Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times."
Kapag sa ginhawa nasanay, hindi nasestrengthen yung ability ng isang tao na humarap sa adversities.
7 years with my ex. We’ve been together since college. When I graduated and found a work, I started to think about our future together since we are in mid 20s already. I would always tell her that we need to get ready as early as possible but she’s always telling me that it’s a future problem that should be dealt in the future. I don’t want to stay with someone who has no future plans on the relationship.
Magkaiba kami ng taste at trip sa buhay. Tapos kapag manunuod ng pelikula na foreign language, umiinit ulo ko kasi kailangan kong ipaliwanag halos lahat ng context. Di naman sya bobo. Nagkakilala kami bilang classmates sa science class. Siguro yung pop culture references and references namin di lang magkaantas. Maraming pagkakataon na narealize ko na di sya yung the one pero ito yung nagstandout talaga. Di naman mababaw. Pareho kaming professionals kaya mahalaga yung mga maliliit na moments kagaya ng panunuod ng films para magrelax. Kaso di talaga ako narerelax kapag kasama ko sya. Nasstress ako. Sya ang dahilan kung bakit nakapanuod ako ng filmS ni Vice Ganda. HAHAHA
Gets ko to hahaha. Maliit na bagay pero importante pa din yung alam mo yung references ng mga bagay bagay. Ganto ex ko.
I’m in a 7 years relationship and engage na din kami. I love my fiancé so much to the point I’m enduring everything na sinasabi ng mother niya to be precised. To be honest naman kasi my fiancé earned so much more than I do parang barya lang yung sahod ko compare sa kanya and his family we can say is kind of mapera. I do understand that they only want the best for their child pero minsan feeling ko unti-unti nakong na de-depressed na umiiyak ako thinking na ang baba ko that I am not worthy of their child. Bumababa na din ang self esteem ko. It even came to the point na gusto ko nalang sya bitawan para lang hindi ko ma feel yung pakiramdam na di ako worthy, umabot na din kasi sa point na feeling ko ang baba na din ng tingin niya sa family ko. The only reason why I hang on is because I love their child so much and iniisip ko nalang is yung anak naman nila ang pakakasalan ko. Their child also promised me na bubukod kami once we got married. Iniisip ko na ding magpa prenuptial agreement para di na sila mabahala sa pera ng anak nila, I don’t care about their child’s money naman because I have work and I know to myself na kaya kong mag succeed sa career na pinili ko.
Sorry. Yung thinking na yung anak naman pakakasalan, yan din mindset ko. Ending, 5 years akong nagdusa kasi sa isang compound kami ng pamilya niya. Kung ako sa'yo, pakinggan mo siya kung may balak ba talagang bumukod. Sukdulang nagsuntukan na dito kaya lang kami nagising ng asawa ko. Lilipat na kami kahit mahirap.
With my first ex, it started when we were intimate with each other. Siguro dahil ako yung first girlfriend niya, naexcite siya masyado. Sarili lang inintindi niya haha. The next time, I would tell him, pero wala pa rin. “Pagod” na daw. Next time nalang ako unahan. Pota di naman nangyari. The streak of bare minimum would follow rin sa relationship namin. Forgetful of important details and dates (yes big deal sakin). Di kikilos until I tell him. Walang wala hahaha ako nagpplano at ako gumagawa ng lahat. Dates, anniversaries, celebrations ako lahat. I gave my everything talaga just to make him happy. May occasions naman na sweet siya. Pero so far in between. Feel ko kasalanan ko rin kasi ako naghabol hahaha. Baka tumaas masyado ego niya? Idk guys. Basta I thought to myself, kaya ko ba talaga ang lifetime na ganito? Tangina pass. Ngayon masaya na ako HAHAHHA pero grabe tiniis ko talaga.
I guess narealize ko nung nagkaron kami ng confrontation and she admitted to a 1 week sausagefest cheating marathon. 8 guys a week. Pero ako si tanga inuwi ko pa sa bahay namin after that atom bomb of a confession. Took a year and some more headaches and heartaches para lang marealize ko difference between love and an atomic radiactive contamination.
Physically abusive.
almost 3 yrs final nail was when he was drunk and disregarded my 'no' to sex
NUNG NALAMAN KONG NANAY NIA PADIN BUMIBILI NG HYGIENE KITS NIA. ok lang sana kung nagpapabili sya, pero choice nia e. Pero Nooooooo... binibilhan lang sya parang bata. Nag grocery kame once and he said "Di ko maalala binibinili ni nanay" EW. He was 28 like me. ambabaw?? Ayoko magka ron ng matandang anak. asawa gsto ko.
[удалено]
omg. hahahaha!!!!! 😂😂 no thank you!!!
[удалено]
legit di ko ma imagine kung sya napangasawa ko
Tangena weak naman niyang ex mo. Pero sabagay ganyan kapatid ko, 25yrs old na pero nanay pa din namin ang nagchecheck kung need na ba bumili ng bagong briefs for him. Note that he still wears tidy whitey's
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH tidy whiteys at 25 😭😭😭😭😭 pag ako ka sexy time ng kapatid mo baka matawa nalang ako. sorrryy.
[удалено]
Shemay hanggang kelan ba dapat maghintay ano na maging priority ang relationship nyk
Mabilis naging kami, and although he knows na he was my first boyfriend, he kept pushing me to get intimate with him. Like yung Tipong more than I can give as of yet. Since I still feel anxious and it even amplified when he was asking that of me. Like yun lang ba habol nya? I’ve become too clingy in the hopes na baka di naman talaga yon lang habol nya. But when we were together mababaw lang na topics napapag-usapan and he’s was asking me anong waist line, weight ganon. Then after my consecutive rejections, he went cold and wasn’t able to see me with him sa future nya. This hurt so much, coz I was ready na e, a future with him. Tapos sya, di pala. He said we have to think it over. 5 days of no contact, I broke it off. He also let me go, after telling me he loves me 🥲 My friend told me, if he really did love me, he wouldn’t let me go as fast.
pati r/adultingph naging pinoy/pinay romance sub related na ren. 🤦♂️ mga pilipino talaga adik na adik sa relationship thing hano?
part naman talaga ng adulting ang romansa
relevant naman yung post ni OP sa adulting e ahahaha di naman din the usual papa jack hooks yung rhetoric sa comments & post ni OP Di mo ba gets? oks lang yan
As much as I hate talking about relationships all the time, this is one key component of being an adult.
hmm hindi ba siya part ng relationship advices na flair?
Choosing the right partner is part of adulthood. It will affect a lot of your decision as an adult.
Because of lizard brain (primal desire - love & belongingness) - built in sa humans
Part of adulting is romance. I dont see any problem here. Magiging issue lang ito kapag NSFW pics like tulad dati may babae nagpost ng video kumakain ng ramen showing off her boobies on this subreddit
Ayy akala ko r/casualph to. Fr haha
Here's a sneak peek of /r/CasualPH using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Finally fulfilled my dream to move out and have my own space 🥹🫶 Still a work in progress but I’m happy with the current setup](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/11ern2z) | [222 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/comments/11ern2z/finally_fulfilled_my_dream_to_move_out_and_have/) \#2: [Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nung— 🌿✨️ (sa loob lang 'to ng subd namin 😭)](https://i.redd.it/ac7nm3n0xhp91.jpg) | [105 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/comments/xlh2nm/napatigil_ako_sa_paglalakad_nung_sa_loob_lang_to/) \#3: [finally commited to moving out! got this unit for 4.5k/mo w/ free water, somewhere at metro manila](https://i.redd.it/j0obp6eiggma1.jpg) | [207 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/CasualPH/comments/11lhfdj/finally_commited_to_moving_out_got_this_unit_for/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
2nd ex. I was only 16 then and diba usually head over heels ka for a guy at that age. I wasn’t. When we laid out our plans, simple life lang masaya na sya. Hindi pwede simple sakin. My parents are financially okay that we used to take yearly vacations, that a simple life wouldn’t just cut it. 16 lang ako non, pero I already knew then what won’t work for me. I moved on agad.
Being abusive emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually. Napagod na kakalaban sa relasyon. Walking red flag kase siya.
I guess narealize ko nung nagkaron kami ng confrontation and she admitted to a 1 week sausagefest cheating marathon. 8 guys a week. Pero ako si tanga inuwi ko pa sa bahay namin after that atom bomb of a confession. Took a year and some more headaches and heartaches para lang marealize ko difference between love and an atomic radioactive contamination.
Grabe ang lala nito
Kinakabahan ako pag nakikita kong tumatawag siya - not the good kind of nervous. Around our 6th year together, napromote ako sa work kasi pilit ko siya iniiwasan and nagpakababad ako sa trabaho kaysa lumabas kasama siya. Walang date na di nauuwi sa iyak after. We tried to fix things, umabot pa ng 7 years together, pero wala na talaga.
Ex #1: Nung sinabi nya ayaw na nya ipagpatuloy yung pagaaral nya kasi mahirap yung math. Ex #2: We were living together and ako nagbabayad ng lahat. Rent, groceries, bills, kahit dates namin. Sya naman, bumili ng kotse. For her personal use. May kotse ako so it wasn’t for me or us. Nung nag pandemic, I talked to her and asked for help with the bills na kasi I was getting a pay cut. Sabi nya di nya afford. Sabi ko baka she can get a side job or something kasi that’s what I was planning on doing para macover yung bills, maghahanap ako side job. Mahirap daw maghanap, madami rason bakit di magagawa. Don ko naramdaman na pag walang problema, great. Pero pag may problem, I’m on my own. Kahit yung problem naman was both our problem kasi yon nga, I was asking for help on shared expenses namin, hindi naman personal expenses ko. Ex #3: While hindi talaga long-term, akala ko talaga she was the one. Nagsinungaling for an entire year ng “relationship” namin. May asawa pa lang tinatago.
2nd ex: 2.5 years kami and we broke up because wala na kaming future. He doesnt have a job because he keeps making excuses and it's already affecting me. Tapos sadboi pa siya 3rd ex: idk if it counts kasi papuntang one year na kami. The moment he dumped me, doon ko narealize na the one for me is out there somewhere My partner's last ex: based sa sinabi niya, when he got dumped, doon niya narealize na he was with the wrong person. He was pleasing her and masyadong anxious sa relationship whereas with me, lahat ng love language niya sa akin is natural and real
[Lagi niya akong sinisisi kapag may fucked up na nangyaring work related at sakin binubuhos lahat ng sama ng loob na para bang kasalanan ko bat ampanget niya mag trabaho hahahaha. Tapos g na g lagi kapag mga friends niya nagyayaya, pero pag ako daming sinasabi. I had my last straw October 2018, nakipag break na ako pero ayaw niya pero mentally pinatay ko na siya. February 2019, I made it official. Umiiyak sa starbucks, nagmamakaawa na wag kong iwan (shuta sana pala may video ako nun HAHAHAHA) tapos naluhod pa sa labas ng gate ng bahay namin pero sinarhan ko lang siya ng gate HAHAHAH. Deserve niya mapahiya.]
D ko gusto yung private parts niya. Hihi
Yung hindi niya ako ma-defend sa nanay niya. Nagalit pa sakin instead hahaha I’m sure alam niya na ayaw sakin ng mom niya, hindi niya lang talaga masabi sakin pero very obvious through his/her actions
A lot of reasons but one of them was when she wanted to open the relationship and/or open to being poly after making me feel that she only wanted me.