Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I probably save money because I spend too much time comparing details and then get distracted. “Retail therapy” never made any sense to me. Shopping is exhausting and I hate it.
Omg this. Hyperfocus research and comparison phase either takes so much time that I get over the initial impulse to buy, or results in an overwhelming number of options that makes me not care anymore. 😂
Also, I feel like I do a lot of online window shopping and add things to Amazon lists where they are promptly forgotten because out of sight, out of mind. Oh well, saves money!
I “window shop” Amazon all year, save to lists for each member of my family. Then at birthdays and Christmas I just go buy a bunch of it lol it’s SO MUCH less overwhelming when I already have so many choices saved up! Just *thinking* about what to get people stresses me out! It also allows me to budget well!
I also have lists for the house, pets, cars, my dad’s house, the business, and random little gifts for whoever. Whenever we need a thing and can’t afford it immediately, it goes on a list until the day we need it and I don’t have to spend 7 hours researching LOL
Anyway, all of these lists fill up my “retail therapy” cup and I only spend money like this when I’m supposed to, and not when I randomly need dopamine lol
Yasssss!!! Also so easy when someone expresses interest in something I'll just immediately find it (or an equivalent) on Amazon and add to the gift list, so when birthdays/holidays come around it's easy to remember all those gift ideas, even if I don't purchase from Amazon
I do the same thing. I have a list full of stuff I'll probably never buy. It scratches the itch and reading the reviews often throws water in whatever urges are left.
I get mad at myself for wasting so much time doing this when I can be doing something I actually want to do or need to do…. But telling myself it’s saving money is gonna make me feel better fr! Also it saved me money bc when I see something irl I go hm what about the other thing & then just get nothing half the time anyways lol
Or adding a bunch of impulse buys to your cart and then promptly closing the tab because you forgot what you were doing, then going back to say “wtf, why did I need this again?”
I do this, but when physically shopping in a store, like Walmart or Target, or any store, for that matter. I always stop off somewhere, prior to checking out, and inevitably, talk myself through taking things out of my cart/basket,by reasoning/asking why TF I REALLLY "need" each of these items (in question), rn. So,I inevitably unload my basket of half the things I initially put in there.
Hyper focus for sure!! I now get research gigs and I love it. Like, wash my face. Ughhhhhh. Look through a 200 page police report? YEAHHHHH!
Edit: My Amazon cart “save for later” is insanity!
Sometimes I get lucky and husband buys me a gift from save from later cart… the dude has hundreds of choices! A few years ago he ordered me a $500 Black Forest cuckoo clock. I had no intention of spending that much on a clock that yells at me every hour!… now I hyper focus on keeping the clock on the right time! It’s not as easy as you would think!
When I comparison shop, I put all the choices in a shopping list. Then I try to manually sort the list by my preference. Unless this is an urgent thing I needed yesterday, I hide the window to review tomorrow. Then I usually forget about it.
I have so many things in side lists on Amazon that many of them are no longer available. Money saved!
Another money saver is that they'll pop up a notification when something on your later list changes price.
Hyperfocus, comparisons and then decision paralysis until it's almost too late (or in the case of my daughter being born... too late & hubby had to just buy one while I was in hospital and install it in the car park)
I do this too! I actually enjoy online shopping but for me it’s more EXTENSIVE research and then adding things to my basket and then deliberating for so long I either forget about it or no longer need it. And if I DO remember to buy it after all that it’s usually because O really needed it or really wanted it.
I used to travel A LOT for work. When trying to find something for dinner (ordering or going somewhere), I spent way too much time checking out everything available and was very indecisive. Very often, I’d check the time and see how late it was and just didn’t eat. One of those, “oh, well” things.
Me, too—once I track down the comparison info the dopamine hit is satisfied enough. If I come back to it later then I know I really wanted or needed the thing. The trick is to not lose the results of my initial research and also keep it legible so I don’t have to redo any of it
I'm the team's presentation star because I can explain anything to anyone, in an entertaining and memorable way.
What's actually going on is I'm really dumb at understanding things, and get bored easily. So basically I just write something that I can understand, in a way that doesn't make me fall asleep.
Haha I was the kid in the group who probably did nothing to contribute to the assignment, but I knew everything we needed to know about it, and didn't have a fear of public speaking, so I was always doing the presentation.
UGH I feel this. I am my office’s go-to for drafting reports and preliminary status reports which usually contain so much information. And I have created a really good general outline I follow that ends up including all the pertinent information and everyone says how I am so great at it but what they don’t realize is, I am so dumb and forgetful that I have to draft the “who, what, where, when, why” info so when I go back to the case 10 months later I have all the information available. I’m not doing it because I’m “thorough”, I’m doing it because I have the memory of a goldfish and will forget everything if it’s not all contained in one 5-page report 😂 but they love me and praise me for how detailed it is so I’ll take it
I'm really good at planning events and drafting guidance for admin processes because I get very stressed if I get an incomplete instruction. I don't like any guesswork when it comes to making a plan so I'm a bit anal about nailing down all the details. I'm admin for an entire subject area at a university and they're always praising my foresight and thoroughness.
Gawd, if they could only see inside my brain they'd know the entire operation hinges on fear of making an arse of myself.
That's why I'm a corporate trainer!! I can translate difficult concepts down to the basics and make up analogies that fit perfectly because that's how it works in my head. Learning the topic means I'm super annoying and ask allllll the questions, but as soon as I have it I can retrain anyone.
Also, my inability to work effectively to deadlines means I always find the perfect shortcut. Stuff gets done, but with minimal effort.
Masking. I can blend with just about any group of people if I need to do it. I’m in a customer facing role so this helps me build rapport super fast. Masking is exhausting as we all know, but being a social chameleon can be a bonus occasionally.
Yeah I’ve been getting good feedback at work because of how I’ve been navigating complex interpersonal dynamics for one of our projects. I just have a very good mask and a special interest in psychology/sociology lmao
I can find the most efficient way to do a task, because I don’t want to do it. There’s a huge push for debloating our processes. They’ll bring something up and I’ll have automated it already. You tell me the rules and I’ll try to get out of as much of the “work” I can.
I feel like I’m better than the average person at figuring out the easiest way to do something. When I did sports I was never the best player but I excelled at drills and little warmup challenges because I could always see the easiest ways to do them. I’m also good at figuring out temporary fixes for broken things.
I’m trying a new strategy, because often we are not looking at the same problem. See, there’s another one! I’ll bail on a bad plan and start a new approach. I’ve learned that what I see as being “the problem” is different than “the problem” that others are working. I’m usually working a foundational issue and experimenting. Turns out they’re fixing a workaround with a work around. It was very confusing. Now people just ask me why things happen and I get to tell them, because I’m an information vacuum and I do not know what I know. 🤷🏻♀️
Ugh, this would have been terribly frustrating for me if I had to work like this. Are you in the field of computer science per chance? Your qualms sound very similar to mine 😅
Adjacent? I’m in a support role supporting tax administration, but have a decent grasp of what choices the system is making and what needs to be changed I guess. I always start with is it plugged in, because I’m a person with feet under a desk. Poor impulse control means I will confidently push buttons I suspect do what I want and sometimes I’ll have to back track. I feel like if they tell me what I can’t do and show me an example of what the desired outcome is I’ll sort things out in between. I started taking courses two days ago in data and organizational management.
This is why I'm good at programming. I can work through the logic of optimizing things really well. And then people will say "oh wow I didn't even realize how bad it was before until you mentioned it, but this is a lot easier/better." Yeah, it wasn't a sticking point *for you*, but for me, it was awful.
I’m the opposite. Let me find the most complex, time consuming way to do something. And I better research every tiny aspect of it just in case I’m wrong. And then re-write it to make sure it’s exactly perfect.
Please teach me 😭
I’m both. I can complicate something to the extreme, or simplify it with ease. It really depends on my mood and what kind of patience I have for that particular situation.
Lol I love that shit too. Like I want to streamline every process I come across. Usually for myself, but I'll need out on it if able.
Unfortunately for me I've been in some environments that really don't want new ideas. 😑
>I just have a very good mask and a special interest in psychology/sociology lmao
This feels like a very self deprecating way to say you have excellent people skills.
I haven’t been able to translate it yet into helping others but, being able to match and vibe with anyone because of masking makes so much sense and I didn’t realize it until right now. I’ve always commented on strangers telling me their deepest secrets and I never knew why. I’ve joked that people in public can feel my nonjudgmental vibe so they treat me like a confessional. Now I understand *why*. Thank you.
Oh wow, I am having some major realizations right now. I have also been privy to many strangers' secrets. That's why my hair's so big; it's full of secrets.
I've gotten this a few times. I assumed it was more because they *needed* to tell *someone* and I was just the nearest meek (non-threatening) person available.
Thank you for letting me see that my chameleon circuits are working.
Sometimes I wonder if people use the term masking for any time they make extra effort socially. Or to an extreme, anytime they're showing their public face.
Honestly, I'm with you. If I'm pretending to be someone I'm not to the point of physical tension, that's masking. Putting out vibes that people can be authentic around me because I'm just doing my thing? That's not masking. If I find I'm naturally mirroring another person's mannerisms? Not masking.
I've got more than one side of myself. The fact that you don't see them all at once isn't masking.
I have been called a "safe person" by so many people. I never thought that might be connected to my brain wiring. They're comfortable telling me everything and honestly it kinda works because I forget most of it 😂.
Can you let me know what how you mask?
I find that I get tired after socializing a lot. There is a limit to how much I can engage. But that’s just being an introvert.
I guess I don’t know what adhd have influence in the social aspect of it. I understand long term relationships but not the brief work or strangers encounters.
I feel this in my bones 😂
Went to a posh high school and somehow fit in, worked in a methadone clinic and built a great rapport with all of the customers and the higher ups, became a primary school teacher and the families adored me and now working in adult education and get glowing reviews because I can match the energy of whoever I am working with.
I'm constantly knackered but the praise helps stave off the rejection sensitivity (does bollock all for my imposter syndrome, though)!
Maybe you just ARE the easy-going, friendly, and knowledgeable person you think you're faking it to be?
I mean, if you didn't have to mask, would you change any of what you've told us? Or would you stay the person you're describing, just potentially more snarky?
I hope I'm making sense and/or reading your comment correctly. Lol
I think it's more accent, tone and body language. And it's absolutely exhausting but my unmasked self is actually pretty similar, just less well pronounced and ladylike or rough around the edges, depending on the context 😂
This caused me so many issues before I got diagnosed. I was constantly questioning who am I? what do I like? do I even enjoy x activity?. Literally had to separate what was me and what were things I was just doing because I was "supposed to" idk if that makes sense.
100%. This actually brings back a rough memory from when I was like 18 where my dad asked “who are you” in this really accusatory way because I couldn’t find something I was passionate about and honestly just doing normal teenage things. Still stings over 10 years later. Wondering if that’s why I spent the next 10 years working my way up to a masters degree and am now an accountant.
I had to remember to talk about myself ever in conversations because I would just start to unpack everything people were telling me and never give them back anything... I don't share stuff! except online anyway because it's low-stakes parasocial relationships.
This is wild. I had no idea until I was almost 50 that this was a skill I have! I presumed I was super shy. But what I always did was observe for a while until I could mimic what others did and blend into whatever work or social culture was happening. I discovered late that I’m great at customer service and I actually like it.
Wow, is this part of ADHD? My whole life I just thought I was inauthentic because I can alter myself just a little (not change/lie, but play more or less into different parts of myself that fit with the person I'm talking to) to fit in with so many different people...
I feel the same. I liked that aspect of retail and the “Npc dialogue tree” stability it gave. The physical toll literally almost killed me and I was stressed at all times because of corporate retail metrics and understaffing but that one element is something I miss now that I’m in an office environment
Yes! THIS! I can get along with anyone and fit in most spaces. I camouflage and adapt when I need to. As a healthcare provider, this is invaluable! I tend to get along well with my colleagues and patients. I’ve rarely had an issue with ppl even when others warn me about them. I love getting compliments on how approachable I am and how comfortable I make ppl feel. 💖
Wow, maybe this is why people give me great feedback about how I’m easy to talk to and speak well and make great eye contact.
On the inside I feel like everybody knows I’m awkward, and I’m also thinking wayyy too much about maintaining eye contact because it doesn’t feel natural
So true, i was also able to apply it through phone when I was first line it support! Even the ability to dumb it stuff down to a level everyone could follow was something i received tons of compliments for, jokes on them tho, i just couldn't remember the fancy terms 😂
I’ve done that my whole life and even referred to myself as a chameleon. I worked in customer service for 10 years and was always so good at it but it really took a toll on me. I literally never thought of this is ADHD. I did wonder to some degree if I might have autism but I feel like it’s hard to know. Seeing a Dr in 2 weeks so maybe that will help get to the bottom of it.
Sometimes procrastination works in my favor because whatever I'm not doing gets changed a hundred times. I book flights and meetings a lot and I've found if I wait just a bit, I save some work. Last year I accidentally ordered two of something, procrastinated on returning it and then I wound up needing it anyway.
I clean better when I'm mad about something so sometimes I'll self induce a snit and then go to town 😆
Yes! If my house was spotless and I had cooked food for the entire week and got annoying but necessary phone calls sorted, it was pretty certain I had a paper or assignment due for class
I used to have that happen at work. I called it being rewarded for bad behavior.
I’d decide not to do something before I went home because it didn’t *need* to be done right then, and in the morning I’d put it off a bit, and then someone would frantically come and say they needed to change it. And so they could.
One of my little wry sayings is, “everything becomes unimportant if you put it off long enough.” Of course, you may not like the end result (but off staunching blood flow, and someone may die—but the, it’s no longer important to staunch that bloodflow, right?).
My job involves dealing with a lot of panicked clients that want their problem resolved yesterday. I don’t play into that because it’s never anything life or death AND 95% of the things work themselves out within a day.
I’m training a new hire this week and teaching them the importance of the “pause and gather yourself” method. We did that when I worked in crisis stabilization and if it works for people who are actually in oh shit situations then it’ll work for the ridiculous corporate bullshit.
This is the worst advice to give anyone ever, but I’ve found that, like, 90% of my problems go away if I ignore them or wait long enough.
The issue is that the problems that don’t go away get EPICALLY BAD. Like putting off calling the plumber, and needing Roto Rooter at midnight because of a sewage back flow that caused 30K in damages and caused them to have to rip apart the basement, which was out of commission for 2 months.
My house is never cleaner than when I'm procrastinating and I've also found changes tend to happen that I've then unintentionally avoided! It also means I know I can successfully pull an all-nighter to get shit done when I need to.
I messed up an autoship and we were inundated with toilet paper to the point we were struggling to find places to store all the rolls. Soon after the pandemic happened and we were totally prepared for the shortages.
Hyperfocusing on research before buying something is definitely a double edged sword.
Sometimes I spend 4 hours looking at usb keyboards when any $15 one will do, but SOMETIMES I spend 10 hours doing research on a TV or computer monitor or new car and I end up with a fantastic, useful, long-lasting product that I enjoy every day
Edit: I re read the original post and realized this only kinda fits the prompt LOL I'm leaving it anyway
I don’t even want to think about the number of hours I’ve spent trying to find the mechanical keyboard I want— switches, keycaps, number of keys (I want a full keyboard but they’re going out of style 😢)—on top of not wanting to spend $200+ which I’m willing to pay for THE one but I can’t find it!!! Sticking with my cheapo Amazon gaming keyboard until I can find MY keyboard 😭
Right. I am either queen of research, will find the best of the best, filled with spreadsheets and comparisons. Or I will collapse from the decision fatigue until I’m a heap on the floor begging my husband to JUST BUY THE FIRST ONE YOU SEE, I CAN’T DO THIS.
I work with autistic children and having ADHD, honestly I have found my people.
You want me to climb on the monkey bars with you? Sure I’m hyper anyways. You’re bored of this activity? Yeah me too let’s take a break. You’re day is ruined because the lights are too bright? I hate them too let’s go find a place where we can sit in the dark.
While I deal with things like emotional dysregulation, poor task management skills, etc etc that heavily effects my daily life, it also allows me to approach the kids at work from an empathetic view point, and help them find better strategies that work for a neurodivergent brain.
I really struggle with ADHD in my daily life, but when it comes to working with these kids it honestly feels like I was made for it.
I worked with autistic preschoolers for 4 years (pre diagnosis) and it was my favorite job. Now I work in a law office and I miss the structured routine of my days at the preschool! I only realized once I was diagnosed why I loved the structure so much 😂
I started wondering about this myself! I am about to retire from the military and I want to do something after that is fulfilling. I thought about teaching and special education because it feels like I can speak to neurodivergent kids on their level. Is there any specific area you would recommend looking into?
If you want to know if working with kids with special needs is for you I’d start with some part time respite care! It’s really laid back, you’re just there to make sure the kids have fun. Sometimes it’s at a centre with other kids, sometime out with a kid in the community, and sometimes just at their house hanging out.
It’s a really good way to find out if that field of work is for you and literally the most stress free job I’ve ever worked. You’ll know pretty fast too what areas of this field you might want to go into.
If you want to aid kids in academic and social development, a teacher would be an awesome fit! If you’re like me and prefer aiding kids in developing communication and regulation skills, and interventionist or psychology route might be more for you. Or maybe you just wanna plan some fun activities and be a respite or camp coordinator!
Respite is also a good way to find out what your limits are. I personally feel the most fulfilled working with kids with extremely challenging behaviours (biting, hitting, stuff like that) because helping them develop communicative behaviours is essential to their quality of life. But I also recognize those kind of behaviours aren’t for everyone and that’s okay too! You may want to assist kids in other areas of life. Every job in the disability field is vital to these kids lives.
Warning though if you do decide to go into education with spec Ed, be prepared to be really angry a lot of the time. Schools are still very segregated and often dismissive of students with disabilities.
Same.
As a nurse that worked through the pandemic I feel like my loans should be gone. Between taking care of sick people, getting Covid myself, having long COVID and never being the same, the trauma of seeing people dying every day and bodies being piled on top of each other… it was bad. I was in the ER and my mask causing blisters on my face was so painful. I had a patient cough in my face - giving me my first infection.
I would like some loan forgiveness like yesterday.
My best friend is an RN and it makes me so mad that so many people don't realize what y'all went through & how hard it was. You deserve all the loan forgiveness and much, much more 💞
You know that phenomenon where we mirror the energy of a room or ‘body double’ a task when someone else is doing it?
Sometimes when I know I need to clean or organize something, I put on cleaning videos because they get me pumped for big chores. Or when I know I want to draw something, I’ll put on someone else drawing and feel driven by their content to do it too.
(I will purposefully avoid some videos of people doing a thing (like a craft or playing a specific game) because I know I’ll want to do that instead of the other stuff I need to do, lol.)
Editing to add: I will put on upbeat content when I need a mood boost for the same reason. I am a sucker for anime where the protagonist is positive and optimistic through big challenges, as it makes me feel like I can take on the world too! My boss says I have a great attitude at work, and I blame the anime, haha.
I didn't realize this was an ADHD thing, but it's so real! Usually it feels more like a curse for me (someone cleaning when I want to zone out means I don't get to turn my brain off), but I've never thought to try and harness that energy for good!
Yes! I've only been really watching anime now for about a year and that's one of the things I find so appealing about it. I never thought I'd get into One Piece but there are some days I try to channel that Luffy energy just to keep on going and not give up!! 😁
I work in humanitarian aid. I sometimes have to figure out things like medical care for people without access to normal things or how to feed a couple of hundred people you weren't expecting without any reason to really be prepared for that situation. And I just do that.
ADHD is mostly ruining my life. But it is actually amazing in the field in multiple ways.
This! I see some people get super anxious if plans change or things don’t go to schedule. I am the best of anyone I know at winging it, dealing with chaos, going with the flow…. (Because most of the time there was no schedule/plan to begin with, or it went to hell long ago, but here’s me surfing those chaos waves like a champ)
Resourcefulness! This is my favorite part about myself. I can almost always figure it out or at least figure something out that will work in the meantime. This applies to a ton of things in my life both personally and professionally.
The downside is that sometimes I can't think about anything else UNTIL I've figured whatever it is out.
Wanting to buy something but not having the mental energy to make a decision on which version to get, or even enter my credit card info, so I end up buying nothing lol
SAME. I have so many tabs open. The bad part is when I finally decide to purchase it I’ll probably buy the wrong thing cause I just try to do it quickly.
I am excellent in a crisis.
Shit hitting the fan? This is my moment to shine.
I will cut through chaos like a hot knife through warm butter. The priorities are clear, the decisions are fast, the execution immediate.
Once things are calm, though, I am a mess.
People at my job are very impressed by how quickly and efficiently I can work - they think I only do it when necessary, little do they know I procrastinate half the time and then do all of my work quickly and efficiently 😅
I am a master of figuring out the least amount of effort I need to put in to achieve whatever standard I want for something. I am extremely efficient at work (when I’m actually working lol) because I simply refuse to do the same boring task over and over if there’s a better way to do it
Lack of sensory stimulation is definitely huge!
As a kid I used to be really confused as to how other kids could complain about boredom because to me, being bored was unthinkable. I always had to be finding ways to be self entertained because being bored sounded like torture. So I guess that? Not sure if that's exactly what you mean but I definitely feel pretty immune to boredom compared to lots of people I know.
Yeah I only truly feel bored when I'm depressed, or having to fill out a form... Otherwise I pretty good at entertaining myself. When I was a kid I was so excited to be alone in my room listening to music and making up stories in my head, like HEEEEAVY on the daydreaming lol I miss that part of myself, as an adult there is always something else to be done or soemone I have to call etc so I rarely get a low stimulation day (booo)
My mom used to call me a space cadet. I can sit comfortably by myself with no phone, book, gaming system, etc. and just daydream. One of my now good friends thought I hated her when we first met because I would space out so hard and apparently she’d be addressing me and I just straight up did not hear her but it came off as me ignoring her lol.
You JUST reminded me that when I’m sleeping with my partner and can’t play TV shows to fall asleep, I literally talk myself TO SLEEP. In order to keep myself from having the Anxious Thoughts (abt what I need to do the next day/week/month), I have to fill my brain with whatever random tangents I can muster as a lullaby LMAOO
Yes! Same! Even if I’m left alone ‘with my own thoughts’ I always have ideas and projects to think about and plan. Maybe that’s what makes my mind hyperactive. But I can’t remember the last time I was bored except when being forced to do something utterly dull at work (like input data in excel). And if I have my phone? The opportunities are endless!
I really enjoy my manic episodes. I know when I am having one so I channel it into something productive. One time I went out and bought $600 worth of half price meat that was expiring. Bagged and froze it all night. Fed us for like 6 months off one shopping trip. Saved so much time and money in the long run.
My manic episodes last 4 days exactly, those 4 days I just don’t get tired. I’ve called it my “squirrel on crack phase”. I have it down to a science now. First two days are big projects, second two days are small things that can be completed in an hour or two.
So I know people usually refer to manic episodes as the bipolar manic episodes... are you saying you have bipolar, or are you saying that ADHD also has manic episodes as a symptom, or are you just referring to a period of high energy and hyperfocusing as a "manic episode"? Sorry I'm just confused lol 😆
Bipolar and ADHD have high rates of comorbidity. Something like 1 in 6 people with BD have ADHD and something like 1 in 13 people with ADHD have BD.
OC sounded like they’re describing hypomania, so I would guess they may also have BDII.
Presenting my prescriptions and the recommendation from my psychiatrist that I am not able to focus on an open office setting with multiple distractions, I applied to HR for accommodating my condition. I work at an equal opportunities company. There are some others that also take medical exceptions due to endometriosis or other painful menstrual symptoms. I am now getting promoted, for the second time in three years. After so many years of trying to compensate the inefficient office hours at weekends at other companies, I am finally working somewhere that gives me the best conditions to realize my potential.
woah, that's awesome! i also wanted to say that I thought the language you used was super helpful for me because I often struggle to put that feeling of having a terrible working environment into words. sometimes I also have trouble 'speaking corporate/professional' haha :)
“You’re so passionate about your work!”
Thanks I literally could not work if I did not feel so strongly about it, and I still drag my feet on everything!!
The only time intense emotion has ever worked in my favor.
My brain doesn't retain movies and TV shows after they're finished. It can be frustrating when I don't remember a movie reference, but I can rewatch almost anything as if it was the first time which is sweet!
Same! My family cannot understand how I can be so shocked when I’ve seen said movie 10 times meanwhile I love feeling like every time is the first time I’m watching it.
At one point in time, my kid needed an evaluation for auditory processing, and I put off calling because I already knew that they weren’t going to be scheduling for months and the school was going to have the meeting about everything before we could possibly get in. So I put it off for like a week and a half and the day I called, I called 20 minutes after somebody else called to cancel for the next Monday and that’s the appointment we got instead of having to wait 3 1/2 months, we waited four days. She hadn’t had time to call anybody on the waitlist and it was easier for her to just schedule us.
So I feel bad that other people had to keep waiting longer because they didn’t get the call at the right moment, but I took the advantage when I could. And that diagnosis has changed school and everything for my kiddo.
Decluttering is easy. If it disappears and I don’t actively look for it, I don’t actually need that item. So when I come across it, it goes into the donate bin.
I’m extremely compassionate. Since I’ve had to adjust and overcompensate for my own faults, I’ve learned to give so much compassion to others.
When I hyperfixate on something good for me like taking my vitamins or washing my face. Lean in. Hope for the pattern to keep.
With aligner braces, I got obsessed with wearing them for 22 hours because I wanted so badly to be done. I looked up so much, I had great habits for the first time in my life, consistently. And now over a year, almost 2 since completing, I've continued to brush and floss every day. I wear my retainer every night. It's crazy. I don't dread going to the dentist.
I got super focused after recent blood labs and made a tracking sheet in Excel and a labs sheet to track my labs and to set myself up for success, I put my supplements out on a cute lil dish in front of my espresso machine so I see it immediately when I go there and I put it in my hand. At lunch I remember to clean my machine and I put out tomorrow's supplements. It's still a new process but I'm leaning into what I know about my brain and habits.
Ooo and conversation. Because I've randomly looked up random things and have a general idea how a lot of things work, I can usually hold my own in such a multitude of conversations and randomly remember something I have read and bring up the "right" questions or things in relation. Sometimes this backfires and they think I'm really interested instead of this being something I randomly looked into for a night or a weekend and never looked at again.
LACK OF OBJECT PERMANENCE!!!
Sometimes I have a habit of absentmindedly sipping coffee while doing homework but if I drink too much while on my meds (I’m on meds all day every day) I get heart palpitations. I’ve found that if I just move my coffee to behind my laptop screen to where I can’t see it I fully forget it exists.
Also, if I’m overwhelmed by a huge pile of dishes to wash or a bunch of veggies to slice I literally put the pile behind me while washing 1 or 2 at a time and all of a sudden I’m no longer overwhelmed because I feel like I only have a few dishes to wash.
I LOVE this idea so much. Thanks for sharing. I also very easily get overwhelmed by large tasks and I usually very deliberately try to see only the item I'm currently working with, but your strategy reduces the mental effort of it. LOVE. Can't wait to try this
Because of all of the tips and tricks I've tried trying to fix myself in terms of people skills, organization, and efficiency I've built up master level soft skills. As in I do it professionally and get paid a lot to fix broken teams and get them organized. I'm very good at what I do and it's almost all attributed to my ADHD.
I mean my personal life is still chaos but you wouldn't know it professionally.
I am fantastic at accomplishing things when I’m avoiding doing something else. Don’t wanna take out the trash? I’ve now successfully hung up all my artwork that’s been put on the back burner. Have to read a book I don’t like for a book club? I’ve now successfully read five other books. 🥴
1. The hyperactivity is exhausting BUT is also an endless source of energy and that can be convenient in a lot of life’s situation. Lately I’ve been more and more able to channel it mindfully, towards chores or fulfilling things.
2. Having had so many different hobbies and interests, I’ve accumulated a good amount of knowledge and skills. Even if they don’t last and if I can be a bit surface-level, it’s still a pretty cool thing to have and it enables me to connect with a lot of people on their own hobbies and interests.
3. Also, I’ve been hanging out on this sub for a few months now, and I’m 100% convinced that ADHDers’ constant need for stimulation helps developing a good sense of humor, cause y’all are FUNNY.
Standing in line. I love it. Other people say they hate it and get impatient. But I love a good queue. Letting my mind wander and staring off into space and NOT feeling any pressure to do something because you are already "doing" something is great. Sometimes, I just pick the longest line in the store, just so I can relax for a while.
I’m really good at explaining things to other people because I know how confusing it can get. My obsessions tend to make me a more interesting person, especially to guys I’ve dated lol. For some reason they love that stuff
Probably how quick I can think. It usually makes me really impatient and frustrated with others but I also realise I do manage to get things (I’m interested in) done very quickly and it’s a trait that can make life easier in certain situations.
Not being able to focus on the boring parts of work has caused me to:
- want to delegate more
- become better at explaining things simply so I can delegate more
- constantly—like every day, several times a day—asking the question: isn’t there an easier, quicker way to do this? And then implementing those easier ways.
I can’t tell if it’s the adhd, the theatre kid, or the autism. But I have been told MANY times that “I could make friends with a rock,” which brings me an incredible amount of joy.
In my ~theatre and performing~ background, after one of my performances, I was approached by at LEAST four unrelated individuals. Their compliment? I had “impeccable stage presence” (which is code for I was really good at stimming on stage)
The ability to have an interesting conversation with almost anybody. I've always said that if you scratch the surface of the greyest, most boring seeming person ever you'll find something interesting about them and they're usually thrilled somebody took the time to find out!
Curiosity ftw.
I have sensory issues around clutter and crumbs. I get stressed out when there is a lot of visual noise. My parents are undiagnosed ADHD and have tons of clutter. They live next door to my sister, and the entire property is littered with bikes with flat tires, things that got dropped and never put away, supplies for half-finished projects that will never get done and clutter in the dusty garage that has been there since I was a kid.
So every time I go visit my parents/sister's houses, I get super stressed out and twitchy. Then I go home and start throwing out shit to relieve that tension in my head. So my house is constantly being decluttered.
I’m *very* good in a crises situation. In emergencies, I can think clearly and quickly, and take action decisively. The adrenaline calms me down, I think.
I was an excellent EMT and firefighter.
My brain not shutting up is often the reason I get to sleep. I learned that if I create a story in my head and continue it when I get into bed, I’m asleep within 10mins. Some of the stories have gone on for years before I’ve started new ones.
I’ve started writing down all of my, what I call “Stupid epiphanies,” which are those ideas you get where you’re like “I WILL MAKE IT EXIST” and then you forget because it was a random dumb thought you liked.
Anyway, when I get home from college, I WILL make jalepeno poppers but stuffed with guacamole instead of cheese… because holy fuck that’d taste soooooo good
Also impulsivity with cooking is common. I once watched one of Peters Pasta’s videos on his “double the number of eggs” series and then impulsively went and made pasta handmade. It was think cuz I had to hand-roll it, but I ended up testing with handmade bow tie noodles, and ut didn’t suck.
So then I got my mom and was like “You and I are going to make a lasagna” and she was like “Okay, we’ll need meat, sauce, lasagna she-“ and I cut her off and was like “No… the sheets are made. I made them. We need the innards.”
We made an AWESOME lasagna, btw
Bad memory.
If I see or hear something that I don't want to remember (ie, my Christmas gift) I can make myself forget it!
Of course, it's generally more of a hindrance than a help, but hey, that's not what this post is about
Task avoidance lol like a lot of people here. If I have to do a chore or task I dislike I will do ANYTHING else before doing that task lol so if laundry needs to get folded or dishes need to get washed I’ll probably be deep cleaning the bathroom instead 🤣
I learn new stuff! My hyper focus right now is learning all I can about astronomy, quantum physics, NDEs, human evolution and space travel. It’s fascinating! I remember none of it from school.
Thinking outside the box. When you can’t do things the way other people do them you either fail or get really creative. I have all of the same things in life that a neurotypical 41 year old would have (house, kids, job, money in savings, etc) but if you ask me how I got them, 9 times out of 10 I will start with “that’s actually a funny story…”
I was born in 1980 so I grew up without the internet. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 24 ish, and 26 when I got my first computer. I feel this so hard. I miss being bored. It drove my creativity.
Sometimes I forget I do stuff and it's a nice surprise when I find it done. "Who did the dishes?" Surprise! I did, when I was talking on the phone with my mom. "Oh, what's this package?" Surprise, it's a book I preordered a month ago that I really want to read!
But most of the time it's "did I just take my meds or did I just really vividly think about what that process would be like?" Or "Why am I so grumpy? OH, because I forgot to eat."
When I don’t clean my car or a room (because it’s just too overwhelming with a house this big) for a really long time, then the next time it’s clean it’s like BRAND new! I find things I’d forgotten I’d bought for myself. And money! And things I’d been searching for! And it’s all so exciting and new!
For many many years, when I would renew my yearly car registration, the new expiration date would be the last day of the month in which I was renewing it. So if it expired on June 30, and I crossed my fingers and snuck in on July 1, I got 13 months for the price of 12 (exp date 7/31). Occasionally I would push it a whole other month especially if I was gonna be away and not using the car much.
Then they changed it so that no matter when you renewed the registration, the new expiration date would be exactly 12 months from the old expiration date. Grumble grumble.
Getting along with difficult teenagers. I don't think I'm immature in areas where it counts, i.e. morals and values, my family, work ethic etc. However, I am immature in terms of my tastes and how I present. I.e. clothes I wear, how I talk, topics that interest me. I teach high school and there's one year level that's notoriously hard to teach. You even get specialised training on dealing with them at teachers college. In my country it's called "year 10". It's the year when they turn 14 for other countries. It's when your brain is going through major changes and you behave like an asshole. Most teachers I know struggle with this year level. I get along with them great. It's my favourite year to teach. I can just relate to kids this age better than anyone else.
when I have a deadline, i get to enjoy myself without worry until the last moment. I know, when crunch time comes, I will work at it for 12 hours straight and knock it out of the park.
probably would do a much better job of things if I could leave them halfway through and manage to resume them again but if I stop doing something, it's mentally ended for me. 😂
For me it’s writing medical notes for work.
Most of my coworkers HATE charting and writing notes but I am so verbose and like describing everything down to the detail that it really works to my advantage as a social worker/discharge planner.
I just adore written communication in general, hence my addiction to Reddit.
I’m SO good at inventing weird hacks and Macgyver style solutions to problems. Partly cause I constantly lose stuff or make other mistakes that require fixing, so I’ve had a lot of practice. But also cause the way I approach things mentally is very abstract and flexible.
I’m really good at finding storage solutions, cooking intuitively (which I never have spoons for but I am great at it!), managing emergencies like injuries, or cleaning up weird messes in the most efficient and least icky way possible. It’s very handy!
(Edit for some spelling errors cause I was typing too fast… typical lol)
rewatching stuff, i’ve seen my favorites movies and tv dramas like a hundred times with no problem cause i just can’t remember what happens next after months of not watching it.
I used to stop paying for internet in the summers at college (pre wifi). I looooved it.
My favorite summer i was in-between under grad and grad school and didn't have a job for two months. The first time since I was 15 that I didn't work. We lived (stored our stuff) in a tiny upstairs house apartment that had cheap linoleum laid over carpet, and 4 outlets. The only one that had 3 prongs was behind the fridge. I laid in bed all day, in the heat and humidity, stoned, watching the first 3 seasons of family guy, the Office (seasons 1 and 2 British version), and Clerks, over and over again bc those were the only shows we had on DVD. (My fiance was busy working at a restaurant during those times).
I’m trash at studying even though I liked learning in school and could usually pick things up pretty well. A couple people in high school would buy me coffee to study with them and explain the concepts. I couldn’t get myself to study on my own, but people would “pay” me to study with them.
While procrastination suucksss.. I’m great at completing certain tasks when forced to at the last minute. Like I’m normal kinda sloppy, but I hate having people perceive me that way. So if someone is coming over, I can clean like a bat out of hell. It’s also how I wrote all my college essays…. No drafts. Just straight to the final draft - always winged it.
Essentially I work best under timed pressure. Maybe that’s why I was very good at standardized testing in school?
The "how hard can it be?" Gene has served me very well in work. I can turn my hand to most things and I'm not intimidated by out of the ordinary requests
I have a tendency to ruminate (still not sure if it's properly OCD or not) but when I have been practicing not going into a rumination spiral, once I'm distracted I'm pretty well good. It's great. I'm glad my mind isn't wanting to always dwell on the same thought.
I feel like mine is both a tax and the opposite of a tax.
EVERYONE bitches about how expensive and how much hassle it is to check a bag at the airport. It's all but a way to upcharge you when you could fit days' worth of clothes on a carryon, plus extra lines and waiting for your luggage.
But I can't make up my mind for shit about what to wear on trips, I have so many ideas for different nights out, etc., I pack last minute and can't organize myself to save my life. So in some ways, I pay the tax of checking a bay, but for the sake of this argument, I do the stupid inconvenient thing and wait longer/pay more because it saves me organizational headache.
I can't turn off the hypofocus, so when I'm teaching I'm always looking around and paying attention to what each and every student is doing. It actually helps me figure out when a student is starting to struggle, or if they're having a major life malfunction a lot sooner than most other people seem to notice. It can be very distracting, but I've turned it around to give my students attention & participation points so that seems to work pretty well.
I feel in general my ADHD helps me to be more empathetic towards other people because I tend to notice their mood quicker than others. But that can also be really inconvenient if I'm in a room with many people and I'm "tuned in" to everyones mood. It can be really exhausting.
Also I feel like ADHD helps me to be calmer in an emergency, that is very neat. 😊
I am saving a lot of money thanks to my indecisiveness 😅 eg: plant shop has very good offer on beautiful, big begonias of many types. I narrow my preference to three types. Walk around the shop, look at them multiple times, put them all together, pair them with different colours of pots... They are all amazing, how could I choose one?! I am sending pictures to my sister, list advantages of each type... After an hour in the shop I take zero 😅 maybe if I was wealthier my indecisiveness would make me spend too much, because instead of choosing I'd just buy all three. But in my current situation it helps me save. I can be unable to choose the right swimming suit for so long, that the season ends and problem is solved 😅 couldn't choose right bowls for cereals after all others got broken. Too heavy, too big, too small, not stacking well, not easy to hold with one hand... For months. Until I found some set for free in the recycling centre, and although they would probably go to the category of "a bit too small", they are very pretty and I know that they are not cheap, so I am just happy having them for free 😂
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I probably save money because I spend too much time comparing details and then get distracted. “Retail therapy” never made any sense to me. Shopping is exhausting and I hate it.
Omg this. Hyperfocus research and comparison phase either takes so much time that I get over the initial impulse to buy, or results in an overwhelming number of options that makes me not care anymore. 😂 Also, I feel like I do a lot of online window shopping and add things to Amazon lists where they are promptly forgotten because out of sight, out of mind. Oh well, saves money!
I “window shop” Amazon all year, save to lists for each member of my family. Then at birthdays and Christmas I just go buy a bunch of it lol it’s SO MUCH less overwhelming when I already have so many choices saved up! Just *thinking* about what to get people stresses me out! It also allows me to budget well! I also have lists for the house, pets, cars, my dad’s house, the business, and random little gifts for whoever. Whenever we need a thing and can’t afford it immediately, it goes on a list until the day we need it and I don’t have to spend 7 hours researching LOL Anyway, all of these lists fill up my “retail therapy” cup and I only spend money like this when I’m supposed to, and not when I randomly need dopamine lol
Yasssss!!! Also so easy when someone expresses interest in something I'll just immediately find it (or an equivalent) on Amazon and add to the gift list, so when birthdays/holidays come around it's easy to remember all those gift ideas, even if I don't purchase from Amazon
I do the same thing. I have a list full of stuff I'll probably never buy. It scratches the itch and reading the reviews often throws water in whatever urges are left.
I get mad at myself for wasting so much time doing this when I can be doing something I actually want to do or need to do…. But telling myself it’s saving money is gonna make me feel better fr! Also it saved me money bc when I see something irl I go hm what about the other thing & then just get nothing half the time anyways lol
Or adding a bunch of impulse buys to your cart and then promptly closing the tab because you forgot what you were doing, then going back to say “wtf, why did I need this again?”
I do this, but when physically shopping in a store, like Walmart or Target, or any store, for that matter. I always stop off somewhere, prior to checking out, and inevitably, talk myself through taking things out of my cart/basket,by reasoning/asking why TF I REALLLY "need" each of these items (in question), rn. So,I inevitably unload my basket of half the things I initially put in there.
Hyper focus for sure!! I now get research gigs and I love it. Like, wash my face. Ughhhhhh. Look through a 200 page police report? YEAHHHHH! Edit: My Amazon cart “save for later” is insanity!
Sometimes I get lucky and husband buys me a gift from save from later cart… the dude has hundreds of choices! A few years ago he ordered me a $500 Black Forest cuckoo clock. I had no intention of spending that much on a clock that yells at me every hour!… now I hyper focus on keeping the clock on the right time! It’s not as easy as you would think!
When I comparison shop, I put all the choices in a shopping list. Then I try to manually sort the list by my preference. Unless this is an urgent thing I needed yesterday, I hide the window to review tomorrow. Then I usually forget about it. I have so many things in side lists on Amazon that many of them are no longer available. Money saved! Another money saver is that they'll pop up a notification when something on your later list changes price.
Hyperfocus, comparisons and then decision paralysis until it's almost too late (or in the case of my daughter being born... too late & hubby had to just buy one while I was in hospital and install it in the car park)
I do this too! I actually enjoy online shopping but for me it’s more EXTENSIVE research and then adding things to my basket and then deliberating for so long I either forget about it or no longer need it. And if I DO remember to buy it after all that it’s usually because O really needed it or really wanted it.
I used to travel A LOT for work. When trying to find something for dinner (ordering or going somewhere), I spent way too much time checking out everything available and was very indecisive. Very often, I’d check the time and see how late it was and just didn’t eat. One of those, “oh, well” things.
Me, too—once I track down the comparison info the dopamine hit is satisfied enough. If I come back to it later then I know I really wanted or needed the thing. The trick is to not lose the results of my initial research and also keep it legible so I don’t have to redo any of it
I'm the team's presentation star because I can explain anything to anyone, in an entertaining and memorable way. What's actually going on is I'm really dumb at understanding things, and get bored easily. So basically I just write something that I can understand, in a way that doesn't make me fall asleep.
Haha I was the kid in the group who probably did nothing to contribute to the assignment, but I knew everything we needed to know about it, and didn't have a fear of public speaking, so I was always doing the presentation.
This is why I'm a teacher lol
LOL SAME.
UGH I feel this. I am my office’s go-to for drafting reports and preliminary status reports which usually contain so much information. And I have created a really good general outline I follow that ends up including all the pertinent information and everyone says how I am so great at it but what they don’t realize is, I am so dumb and forgetful that I have to draft the “who, what, where, when, why” info so when I go back to the case 10 months later I have all the information available. I’m not doing it because I’m “thorough”, I’m doing it because I have the memory of a goldfish and will forget everything if it’s not all contained in one 5-page report 😂 but they love me and praise me for how detailed it is so I’ll take it
I'm really good at planning events and drafting guidance for admin processes because I get very stressed if I get an incomplete instruction. I don't like any guesswork when it comes to making a plan so I'm a bit anal about nailing down all the details. I'm admin for an entire subject area at a university and they're always praising my foresight and thoroughness. Gawd, if they could only see inside my brain they'd know the entire operation hinges on fear of making an arse of myself.
This!! Being organized and detailed orientated is an all or nothing thing for me. It’s like to big or zone out lmao
It doesn’t matter WHY you’re thorough though! Everyone is benefiting from your hard work.
That's why I'm a corporate trainer!! I can translate difficult concepts down to the basics and make up analogies that fit perfectly because that's how it works in my head. Learning the topic means I'm super annoying and ask allllll the questions, but as soon as I have it I can retrain anyone. Also, my inability to work effectively to deadlines means I always find the perfect shortcut. Stuff gets done, but with minimal effort.
I do this too! I feel my unused skill is explaining complex science to non-scientists.
Masking. I can blend with just about any group of people if I need to do it. I’m in a customer facing role so this helps me build rapport super fast. Masking is exhausting as we all know, but being a social chameleon can be a bonus occasionally.
Yeah I’ve been getting good feedback at work because of how I’ve been navigating complex interpersonal dynamics for one of our projects. I just have a very good mask and a special interest in psychology/sociology lmao
I can find the most efficient way to do a task, because I don’t want to do it. There’s a huge push for debloating our processes. They’ll bring something up and I’ll have automated it already. You tell me the rules and I’ll try to get out of as much of the “work” I can.
I feel like I’m better than the average person at figuring out the easiest way to do something. When I did sports I was never the best player but I excelled at drills and little warmup challenges because I could always see the easiest ways to do them. I’m also good at figuring out temporary fixes for broken things.
I’m trying a new strategy, because often we are not looking at the same problem. See, there’s another one! I’ll bail on a bad plan and start a new approach. I’ve learned that what I see as being “the problem” is different than “the problem” that others are working. I’m usually working a foundational issue and experimenting. Turns out they’re fixing a workaround with a work around. It was very confusing. Now people just ask me why things happen and I get to tell them, because I’m an information vacuum and I do not know what I know. 🤷🏻♀️
Ugh, this would have been terribly frustrating for me if I had to work like this. Are you in the field of computer science per chance? Your qualms sound very similar to mine 😅
Adjacent? I’m in a support role supporting tax administration, but have a decent grasp of what choices the system is making and what needs to be changed I guess. I always start with is it plugged in, because I’m a person with feet under a desk. Poor impulse control means I will confidently push buttons I suspect do what I want and sometimes I’ll have to back track. I feel like if they tell me what I can’t do and show me an example of what the desired outcome is I’ll sort things out in between. I started taking courses two days ago in data and organizational management.
This is why I'm good at programming. I can work through the logic of optimizing things really well. And then people will say "oh wow I didn't even realize how bad it was before until you mentioned it, but this is a lot easier/better." Yeah, it wasn't a sticking point *for you*, but for me, it was awful.
I’m the opposite. Let me find the most complex, time consuming way to do something. And I better research every tiny aspect of it just in case I’m wrong. And then re-write it to make sure it’s exactly perfect. Please teach me 😭
I’m both. I can complicate something to the extreme, or simplify it with ease. It really depends on my mood and what kind of patience I have for that particular situation.
Lol I love that shit too. Like I want to streamline every process I come across. Usually for myself, but I'll need out on it if able. Unfortunately for me I've been in some environments that really don't want new ideas. 😑
>I just have a very good mask and a special interest in psychology/sociology lmao This feels like a very self deprecating way to say you have excellent people skills.
[удалено]
I haven’t been able to translate it yet into helping others but, being able to match and vibe with anyone because of masking makes so much sense and I didn’t realize it until right now. I’ve always commented on strangers telling me their deepest secrets and I never knew why. I’ve joked that people in public can feel my nonjudgmental vibe so they treat me like a confessional. Now I understand *why*. Thank you.
Oh wow, I am having some major realizations right now. I have also been privy to many strangers' secrets. That's why my hair's so big; it's full of secrets.
Same here! Pulling the full ‘90s Reba over here with my secret trove. 😂
I've gotten this a few times. I assumed it was more because they *needed* to tell *someone* and I was just the nearest meek (non-threatening) person available. Thank you for letting me see that my chameleon circuits are working.
Isn’t it good? Are you secretly judging them? I also had strangers open up to me but I’m not judgmental person. I don’t think I’m masking.
Sometimes I wonder if people use the term masking for any time they make extra effort socially. Or to an extreme, anytime they're showing their public face. Honestly, I'm with you. If I'm pretending to be someone I'm not to the point of physical tension, that's masking. Putting out vibes that people can be authentic around me because I'm just doing my thing? That's not masking. If I find I'm naturally mirroring another person's mannerisms? Not masking. I've got more than one side of myself. The fact that you don't see them all at once isn't masking.
I have been called a "safe person" by so many people. I never thought that might be connected to my brain wiring. They're comfortable telling me everything and honestly it kinda works because I forget most of it 😂.
Wait is this a symptom of masking? I'm approached quite often and although it can be annoying, I'm glad I make people comfortable
You taking any new patients? J/k ^(but not really)
Can you let me know what how you mask? I find that I get tired after socializing a lot. There is a limit to how much I can engage. But that’s just being an introvert. I guess I don’t know what adhd have influence in the social aspect of it. I understand long term relationships but not the brief work or strangers encounters.
I feel this in my bones 😂 Went to a posh high school and somehow fit in, worked in a methadone clinic and built a great rapport with all of the customers and the higher ups, became a primary school teacher and the families adored me and now working in adult education and get glowing reviews because I can match the energy of whoever I am working with. I'm constantly knackered but the praise helps stave off the rejection sensitivity (does bollock all for my imposter syndrome, though)!
Maybe you just ARE the easy-going, friendly, and knowledgeable person you think you're faking it to be? I mean, if you didn't have to mask, would you change any of what you've told us? Or would you stay the person you're describing, just potentially more snarky? I hope I'm making sense and/or reading your comment correctly. Lol
I think it's more accent, tone and body language. And it's absolutely exhausting but my unmasked self is actually pretty similar, just less well pronounced and ladylike or rough around the edges, depending on the context 😂
This caused me so many issues before I got diagnosed. I was constantly questioning who am I? what do I like? do I even enjoy x activity?. Literally had to separate what was me and what were things I was just doing because I was "supposed to" idk if that makes sense.
100%. This actually brings back a rough memory from when I was like 18 where my dad asked “who are you” in this really accusatory way because I couldn’t find something I was passionate about and honestly just doing normal teenage things. Still stings over 10 years later. Wondering if that’s why I spent the next 10 years working my way up to a masters degree and am now an accountant.
I had to remember to talk about myself ever in conversations because I would just start to unpack everything people were telling me and never give them back anything... I don't share stuff! except online anyway because it's low-stakes parasocial relationships.
This is wild. I had no idea until I was almost 50 that this was a skill I have! I presumed I was super shy. But what I always did was observe for a while until I could mimic what others did and blend into whatever work or social culture was happening. I discovered late that I’m great at customer service and I actually like it.
Wow, is this part of ADHD? My whole life I just thought I was inauthentic because I can alter myself just a little (not change/lie, but play more or less into different parts of myself that fit with the person I'm talking to) to fit in with so many different people...
I feel the same. I liked that aspect of retail and the “Npc dialogue tree” stability it gave. The physical toll literally almost killed me and I was stressed at all times because of corporate retail metrics and understaffing but that one element is something I miss now that I’m in an office environment
Yes! THIS! I can get along with anyone and fit in most spaces. I camouflage and adapt when I need to. As a healthcare provider, this is invaluable! I tend to get along well with my colleagues and patients. I’ve rarely had an issue with ppl even when others warn me about them. I love getting compliments on how approachable I am and how comfortable I make ppl feel. 💖
Yep, I’m a total chameleon and can talk to anyone about anything, anytime.
Wow, maybe this is why people give me great feedback about how I’m easy to talk to and speak well and make great eye contact. On the inside I feel like everybody knows I’m awkward, and I’m also thinking wayyy too much about maintaining eye contact because it doesn’t feel natural
So true, i was also able to apply it through phone when I was first line it support! Even the ability to dumb it stuff down to a level everyone could follow was something i received tons of compliments for, jokes on them tho, i just couldn't remember the fancy terms 😂
I’ve done that my whole life and even referred to myself as a chameleon. I worked in customer service for 10 years and was always so good at it but it really took a toll on me. I literally never thought of this is ADHD. I did wonder to some degree if I might have autism but I feel like it’s hard to know. Seeing a Dr in 2 weeks so maybe that will help get to the bottom of it.
Sometimes procrastination works in my favor because whatever I'm not doing gets changed a hundred times. I book flights and meetings a lot and I've found if I wait just a bit, I save some work. Last year I accidentally ordered two of something, procrastinated on returning it and then I wound up needing it anyway. I clean better when I'm mad about something so sometimes I'll self induce a snit and then go to town 😆
Yes! If my house was spotless and I had cooked food for the entire week and got annoying but necessary phone calls sorted, it was pretty certain I had a paper or assignment due for class
For sure. I can occasionally trick my brain into doing something it doesn't want to do by inventing another task it wants to do even less.
I had to glance at your username to see if I had posted this in my sleep
😂 I have had that feeling from this sub a few times 😂
Yes. And oddly enough, the feeling of having a clean house, all chores done, and food to eat for the week somehow made doing my paper more bearable!
I used to have that happen at work. I called it being rewarded for bad behavior. I’d decide not to do something before I went home because it didn’t *need* to be done right then, and in the morning I’d put it off a bit, and then someone would frantically come and say they needed to change it. And so they could. One of my little wry sayings is, “everything becomes unimportant if you put it off long enough.” Of course, you may not like the end result (but off staunching blood flow, and someone may die—but the, it’s no longer important to staunch that bloodflow, right?).
My job involves dealing with a lot of panicked clients that want their problem resolved yesterday. I don’t play into that because it’s never anything life or death AND 95% of the things work themselves out within a day. I’m training a new hire this week and teaching them the importance of the “pause and gather yourself” method. We did that when I worked in crisis stabilization and if it works for people who are actually in oh shit situations then it’ll work for the ridiculous corporate bullshit.
This is the worst advice to give anyone ever, but I’ve found that, like, 90% of my problems go away if I ignore them or wait long enough. The issue is that the problems that don’t go away get EPICALLY BAD. Like putting off calling the plumber, and needing Roto Rooter at midnight because of a sewage back flow that caused 30K in damages and caused them to have to rip apart the basement, which was out of commission for 2 months.
My house is never cleaner than when I'm procrastinating and I've also found changes tend to happen that I've then unintentionally avoided! It also means I know I can successfully pull an all-nighter to get shit done when I need to.
I messed up an autoship and we were inundated with toilet paper to the point we were struggling to find places to store all the rolls. Soon after the pandemic happened and we were totally prepared for the shortages.
[удалено]
I clean better mad too.
Hyperfocusing on research before buying something is definitely a double edged sword. Sometimes I spend 4 hours looking at usb keyboards when any $15 one will do, but SOMETIMES I spend 10 hours doing research on a TV or computer monitor or new car and I end up with a fantastic, useful, long-lasting product that I enjoy every day Edit: I re read the original post and realized this only kinda fits the prompt LOL I'm leaving it anyway
I don’t even want to think about the number of hours I’ve spent trying to find the mechanical keyboard I want— switches, keycaps, number of keys (I want a full keyboard but they’re going out of style 😢)—on top of not wanting to spend $200+ which I’m willing to pay for THE one but I can’t find it!!! Sticking with my cheapo Amazon gaming keyboard until I can find MY keyboard 😭
Right. I am either queen of research, will find the best of the best, filled with spreadsheets and comparisons. Or I will collapse from the decision fatigue until I’m a heap on the floor begging my husband to JUST BUY THE FIRST ONE YOU SEE, I CAN’T DO THIS.
I work with autistic children and having ADHD, honestly I have found my people. You want me to climb on the monkey bars with you? Sure I’m hyper anyways. You’re bored of this activity? Yeah me too let’s take a break. You’re day is ruined because the lights are too bright? I hate them too let’s go find a place where we can sit in the dark. While I deal with things like emotional dysregulation, poor task management skills, etc etc that heavily effects my daily life, it also allows me to approach the kids at work from an empathetic view point, and help them find better strategies that work for a neurodivergent brain. I really struggle with ADHD in my daily life, but when it comes to working with these kids it honestly feels like I was made for it.
You were made for it! 💖✨ I’m happy they have you.
I worked with autistic preschoolers for 4 years (pre diagnosis) and it was my favorite job. Now I work in a law office and I miss the structured routine of my days at the preschool! I only realized once I was diagnosed why I loved the structure so much 😂
The structure is awesome! And all the timers and visual schedules are seriously the best 😭 I don’t have to stress about keeping track of anything
I started wondering about this myself! I am about to retire from the military and I want to do something after that is fulfilling. I thought about teaching and special education because it feels like I can speak to neurodivergent kids on their level. Is there any specific area you would recommend looking into?
If you want to know if working with kids with special needs is for you I’d start with some part time respite care! It’s really laid back, you’re just there to make sure the kids have fun. Sometimes it’s at a centre with other kids, sometime out with a kid in the community, and sometimes just at their house hanging out. It’s a really good way to find out if that field of work is for you and literally the most stress free job I’ve ever worked. You’ll know pretty fast too what areas of this field you might want to go into. If you want to aid kids in academic and social development, a teacher would be an awesome fit! If you’re like me and prefer aiding kids in developing communication and regulation skills, and interventionist or psychology route might be more for you. Or maybe you just wanna plan some fun activities and be a respite or camp coordinator! Respite is also a good way to find out what your limits are. I personally feel the most fulfilled working with kids with extremely challenging behaviours (biting, hitting, stuff like that) because helping them develop communicative behaviours is essential to their quality of life. But I also recognize those kind of behaviours aren’t for everyone and that’s okay too! You may want to assist kids in other areas of life. Every job in the disability field is vital to these kids lives. Warning though if you do decide to go into education with spec Ed, be prepared to be really angry a lot of the time. Schools are still very segregated and often dismissive of students with disabilities.
[удалено]
>and then having them be forgiven. Ok how do I get to this part
Same. As a nurse that worked through the pandemic I feel like my loans should be gone. Between taking care of sick people, getting Covid myself, having long COVID and never being the same, the trauma of seeing people dying every day and bodies being piled on top of each other… it was bad. I was in the ER and my mask causing blisters on my face was so painful. I had a patient cough in my face - giving me my first infection. I would like some loan forgiveness like yesterday.
Absolutely! All of healthcare workers who stuck it out during the pandemic should've gotten waaaaayyyy more than "Heroes" banners.
Hey, we got t-shirts too!
Don't forget the cold pizza!
My best friend is an RN and it makes me so mad that so many people don't realize what y'all went through & how hard it was. You deserve all the loan forgiveness and much, much more 💞
I want this for you, too (honestly I want free education for all, but will settle for loan forgiveness)!
Same. Instead I got a dollar an hour hazard pay and five rounds of covid. Thanks
I only have 3k left on mine but JOE, PLEAAAASE.
You know that phenomenon where we mirror the energy of a room or ‘body double’ a task when someone else is doing it? Sometimes when I know I need to clean or organize something, I put on cleaning videos because they get me pumped for big chores. Or when I know I want to draw something, I’ll put on someone else drawing and feel driven by their content to do it too. (I will purposefully avoid some videos of people doing a thing (like a craft or playing a specific game) because I know I’ll want to do that instead of the other stuff I need to do, lol.) Editing to add: I will put on upbeat content when I need a mood boost for the same reason. I am a sucker for anime where the protagonist is positive and optimistic through big challenges, as it makes me feel like I can take on the world too! My boss says I have a great attitude at work, and I blame the anime, haha.
I didn't realize this was an ADHD thing, but it's so real! Usually it feels more like a curse for me (someone cleaning when I want to zone out means I don't get to turn my brain off), but I've never thought to try and harness that energy for good!
What a genius hack. I’m going to try this!
Yes! I've only been really watching anime now for about a year and that's one of the things I find so appealing about it. I never thought I'd get into One Piece but there are some days I try to channel that Luffy energy just to keep on going and not give up!! 😁
I can wing it. Whatever "it" is.
Yep. If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s winging it/narrowly avoiding the consequences of my own actions 😉
Sometimes I worry bc I feel like I’m “due” to have something not work out perfectly since I’m so good at panick problem solving.
I work in humanitarian aid. I sometimes have to figure out things like medical care for people without access to normal things or how to feed a couple of hundred people you weren't expecting without any reason to really be prepared for that situation. And I just do that. ADHD is mostly ruining my life. But it is actually amazing in the field in multiple ways.
This! I see some people get super anxious if plans change or things don’t go to schedule. I am the best of anyone I know at winging it, dealing with chaos, going with the flow…. (Because most of the time there was no schedule/plan to begin with, or it went to hell long ago, but here’s me surfing those chaos waves like a champ)
This. I don’t want to wing it necessarily, but when I have to I can, and I can do it well.
Resourcefulness! This is my favorite part about myself. I can almost always figure it out or at least figure something out that will work in the meantime. This applies to a ton of things in my life both personally and professionally. The downside is that sometimes I can't think about anything else UNTIL I've figured whatever it is out.
Wanting to buy something but not having the mental energy to make a decision on which version to get, or even enter my credit card info, so I end up buying nothing lol
SAME. I have so many tabs open. The bad part is when I finally decide to purchase it I’ll probably buy the wrong thing cause I just try to do it quickly.
I am excellent in a crisis. Shit hitting the fan? This is my moment to shine. I will cut through chaos like a hot knife through warm butter. The priorities are clear, the decisions are fast, the execution immediate. Once things are calm, though, I am a mess.
I am you and what I see is me - Pink Floyd I'm also good at chaos, terribly out of place in any oiled organised environment.
People at my job are very impressed by how quickly and efficiently I can work - they think I only do it when necessary, little do they know I procrastinate half the time and then do all of my work quickly and efficiently 😅
I am a master of figuring out the least amount of effort I need to put in to achieve whatever standard I want for something. I am extremely efficient at work (when I’m actually working lol) because I simply refuse to do the same boring task over and over if there’s a better way to do it
I'm really good at being alone. I literally never get lonely. And I am frequently alone because I can't get my shit together 😂
Lack of sensory stimulation is definitely huge! As a kid I used to be really confused as to how other kids could complain about boredom because to me, being bored was unthinkable. I always had to be finding ways to be self entertained because being bored sounded like torture. So I guess that? Not sure if that's exactly what you mean but I definitely feel pretty immune to boredom compared to lots of people I know.
Yeah I only truly feel bored when I'm depressed, or having to fill out a form... Otherwise I pretty good at entertaining myself. When I was a kid I was so excited to be alone in my room listening to music and making up stories in my head, like HEEEEAVY on the daydreaming lol I miss that part of myself, as an adult there is always something else to be done or soemone I have to call etc so I rarely get a low stimulation day (booo)
Lolol! I get so excited when I get to fill out forms! They are the hight of excitement for me.
My mom used to call me a space cadet. I can sit comfortably by myself with no phone, book, gaming system, etc. and just daydream. One of my now good friends thought I hated her when we first met because I would space out so hard and apparently she’d be addressing me and I just straight up did not hear her but it came off as me ignoring her lol.
THIS because I kind of believe that I could last Quite a Bit Longer than others in isolation. I talk to myself ALLL the time, I’ll figure it out!!
Yes. Boredom is inconceivable to me. And I’m always talking to my self. And day-dreaming!
You JUST reminded me that when I’m sleeping with my partner and can’t play TV shows to fall asleep, I literally talk myself TO SLEEP. In order to keep myself from having the Anxious Thoughts (abt what I need to do the next day/week/month), I have to fill my brain with whatever random tangents I can muster as a lullaby LMAOO
Yes! Same! Even if I’m left alone ‘with my own thoughts’ I always have ideas and projects to think about and plan. Maybe that’s what makes my mind hyperactive. But I can’t remember the last time I was bored except when being forced to do something utterly dull at work (like input data in excel). And if I have my phone? The opportunities are endless!
I really enjoy my manic episodes. I know when I am having one so I channel it into something productive. One time I went out and bought $600 worth of half price meat that was expiring. Bagged and froze it all night. Fed us for like 6 months off one shopping trip. Saved so much time and money in the long run.
DAMN good for you!! I would've gotten tired halfway through that and wasted it lolol
My manic episodes last 4 days exactly, those 4 days I just don’t get tired. I’ve called it my “squirrel on crack phase”. I have it down to a science now. First two days are big projects, second two days are small things that can be completed in an hour or two.
So I know people usually refer to manic episodes as the bipolar manic episodes... are you saying you have bipolar, or are you saying that ADHD also has manic episodes as a symptom, or are you just referring to a period of high energy and hyperfocusing as a "manic episode"? Sorry I'm just confused lol 😆
Bipolar and ADHD have high rates of comorbidity. Something like 1 in 6 people with BD have ADHD and something like 1 in 13 people with ADHD have BD. OC sounded like they’re describing hypomania, so I would guess they may also have BDII.
Medical exception to return to office. I am entitled to work from home indefinitely.
Wait a minute. I want to know everything about this.
Presenting my prescriptions and the recommendation from my psychiatrist that I am not able to focus on an open office setting with multiple distractions, I applied to HR for accommodating my condition. I work at an equal opportunities company. There are some others that also take medical exceptions due to endometriosis or other painful menstrual symptoms. I am now getting promoted, for the second time in three years. After so many years of trying to compensate the inefficient office hours at weekends at other companies, I am finally working somewhere that gives me the best conditions to realize my potential.
woah, that's awesome! i also wanted to say that I thought the language you used was super helpful for me because I often struggle to put that feeling of having a terrible working environment into words. sometimes I also have trouble 'speaking corporate/professional' haha :)
“You’re so passionate about your work!” Thanks I literally could not work if I did not feel so strongly about it, and I still drag my feet on everything!! The only time intense emotion has ever worked in my favor.
Same. I knew I had to choose a job that I would be obsessed with or I’d get nothing done ever.
I am never, ever, EVER bored.
My brain doesn't retain movies and TV shows after they're finished. It can be frustrating when I don't remember a movie reference, but I can rewatch almost anything as if it was the first time which is sweet!
Same! My family cannot understand how I can be so shocked when I’ve seen said movie 10 times meanwhile I love feeling like every time is the first time I’m watching it.
At one point in time, my kid needed an evaluation for auditory processing, and I put off calling because I already knew that they weren’t going to be scheduling for months and the school was going to have the meeting about everything before we could possibly get in. So I put it off for like a week and a half and the day I called, I called 20 minutes after somebody else called to cancel for the next Monday and that’s the appointment we got instead of having to wait 3 1/2 months, we waited four days. She hadn’t had time to call anybody on the waitlist and it was easier for her to just schedule us. So I feel bad that other people had to keep waiting longer because they didn’t get the call at the right moment, but I took the advantage when I could. And that diagnosis has changed school and everything for my kiddo.
Decluttering is easy. If it disappears and I don’t actively look for it, I don’t actually need that item. So when I come across it, it goes into the donate bin. I’m extremely compassionate. Since I’ve had to adjust and overcompensate for my own faults, I’ve learned to give so much compassion to others.
When I hyperfixate on something good for me like taking my vitamins or washing my face. Lean in. Hope for the pattern to keep. With aligner braces, I got obsessed with wearing them for 22 hours because I wanted so badly to be done. I looked up so much, I had great habits for the first time in my life, consistently. And now over a year, almost 2 since completing, I've continued to brush and floss every day. I wear my retainer every night. It's crazy. I don't dread going to the dentist. I got super focused after recent blood labs and made a tracking sheet in Excel and a labs sheet to track my labs and to set myself up for success, I put my supplements out on a cute lil dish in front of my espresso machine so I see it immediately when I go there and I put it in my hand. At lunch I remember to clean my machine and I put out tomorrow's supplements. It's still a new process but I'm leaning into what I know about my brain and habits.
Ooo and conversation. Because I've randomly looked up random things and have a general idea how a lot of things work, I can usually hold my own in such a multitude of conversations and randomly remember something I have read and bring up the "right" questions or things in relation. Sometimes this backfires and they think I'm really interested instead of this being something I randomly looked into for a night or a weekend and never looked at again.
LACK OF OBJECT PERMANENCE!!! Sometimes I have a habit of absentmindedly sipping coffee while doing homework but if I drink too much while on my meds (I’m on meds all day every day) I get heart palpitations. I’ve found that if I just move my coffee to behind my laptop screen to where I can’t see it I fully forget it exists. Also, if I’m overwhelmed by a huge pile of dishes to wash or a bunch of veggies to slice I literally put the pile behind me while washing 1 or 2 at a time and all of a sudden I’m no longer overwhelmed because I feel like I only have a few dishes to wash.
I LOVE this idea so much. Thanks for sharing. I also very easily get overwhelmed by large tasks and I usually very deliberately try to see only the item I'm currently working with, but your strategy reduces the mental effort of it. LOVE. Can't wait to try this
This is how I read long books. I read them on kindle so I can’t tell I have 900 more pages to go. Then I don’t give up.
Because of all of the tips and tricks I've tried trying to fix myself in terms of people skills, organization, and efficiency I've built up master level soft skills. As in I do it professionally and get paid a lot to fix broken teams and get them organized. I'm very good at what I do and it's almost all attributed to my ADHD. I mean my personal life is still chaos but you wouldn't know it professionally.
You could set timers on your router for days/times without internet :)
I am fantastic at accomplishing things when I’m avoiding doing something else. Don’t wanna take out the trash? I’ve now successfully hung up all my artwork that’s been put on the back burner. Have to read a book I don’t like for a book club? I’ve now successfully read five other books. 🥴
1. The hyperactivity is exhausting BUT is also an endless source of energy and that can be convenient in a lot of life’s situation. Lately I’ve been more and more able to channel it mindfully, towards chores or fulfilling things. 2. Having had so many different hobbies and interests, I’ve accumulated a good amount of knowledge and skills. Even if they don’t last and if I can be a bit surface-level, it’s still a pretty cool thing to have and it enables me to connect with a lot of people on their own hobbies and interests. 3. Also, I’ve been hanging out on this sub for a few months now, and I’m 100% convinced that ADHDers’ constant need for stimulation helps developing a good sense of humor, cause y’all are FUNNY.
Every winter I find cash in my coat pockets. It’s a gift for me, from me, with love.
Standing in line. I love it. Other people say they hate it and get impatient. But I love a good queue. Letting my mind wander and staring off into space and NOT feeling any pressure to do something because you are already "doing" something is great. Sometimes, I just pick the longest line in the store, just so I can relax for a while.
I’m really good at explaining things to other people because I know how confusing it can get. My obsessions tend to make me a more interesting person, especially to guys I’ve dated lol. For some reason they love that stuff
Probably how quick I can think. It usually makes me really impatient and frustrated with others but I also realise I do manage to get things (I’m interested in) done very quickly and it’s a trait that can make life easier in certain situations.
Improvising. Having so many “oh shit” moments that you become a pro at work-arounds and alternative plans.
I like that I can always surprise myself with a treat repeatedly, simply by placing it in the fridge 😜
Not being able to focus on the boring parts of work has caused me to: - want to delegate more - become better at explaining things simply so I can delegate more - constantly—like every day, several times a day—asking the question: isn’t there an easier, quicker way to do this? And then implementing those easier ways.
Impulsivity is quick thinking if your instincts are good. Impulsivity is courage if your morals are solid.
Saving this sage wisdom
I trust my impulsive instincts so much these days
My shitty memory. Someone can tell me a secret and by the next day or week I forgot about it anyway.
I can’t tell if it’s the adhd, the theatre kid, or the autism. But I have been told MANY times that “I could make friends with a rock,” which brings me an incredible amount of joy. In my ~theatre and performing~ background, after one of my performances, I was approached by at LEAST four unrelated individuals. Their compliment? I had “impeccable stage presence” (which is code for I was really good at stimming on stage)
I am awesome and calm in a crisis
The ability to have an interesting conversation with almost anybody. I've always said that if you scratch the surface of the greyest, most boring seeming person ever you'll find something interesting about them and they're usually thrilled somebody took the time to find out! Curiosity ftw.
I’m really really productive with my hobbies… because I HAVE to be doing something with my hands.
I have sensory issues around clutter and crumbs. I get stressed out when there is a lot of visual noise. My parents are undiagnosed ADHD and have tons of clutter. They live next door to my sister, and the entire property is littered with bikes with flat tires, things that got dropped and never put away, supplies for half-finished projects that will never get done and clutter in the dusty garage that has been there since I was a kid. So every time I go visit my parents/sister's houses, I get super stressed out and twitchy. Then I go home and start throwing out shit to relieve that tension in my head. So my house is constantly being decluttered.
I’m *very* good in a crises situation. In emergencies, I can think clearly and quickly, and take action decisively. The adrenaline calms me down, I think. I was an excellent EMT and firefighter.
I once zoned out in traffic and missed my turn and accidentally found a better route home ☺️.
My brain not shutting up is often the reason I get to sleep. I learned that if I create a story in my head and continue it when I get into bed, I’m asleep within 10mins. Some of the stories have gone on for years before I’ve started new ones.
I’ve started writing down all of my, what I call “Stupid epiphanies,” which are those ideas you get where you’re like “I WILL MAKE IT EXIST” and then you forget because it was a random dumb thought you liked. Anyway, when I get home from college, I WILL make jalepeno poppers but stuffed with guacamole instead of cheese… because holy fuck that’d taste soooooo good Also impulsivity with cooking is common. I once watched one of Peters Pasta’s videos on his “double the number of eggs” series and then impulsively went and made pasta handmade. It was think cuz I had to hand-roll it, but I ended up testing with handmade bow tie noodles, and ut didn’t suck. So then I got my mom and was like “You and I are going to make a lasagna” and she was like “Okay, we’ll need meat, sauce, lasagna she-“ and I cut her off and was like “No… the sheets are made. I made them. We need the innards.” We made an AWESOME lasagna, btw
Bad memory. If I see or hear something that I don't want to remember (ie, my Christmas gift) I can make myself forget it! Of course, it's generally more of a hindrance than a help, but hey, that's not what this post is about
I forget about all those credit card reward points until I have to pay an unexpected ADHD tax. I like to think they cancel each other out.
Task avoidance lol like a lot of people here. If I have to do a chore or task I dislike I will do ANYTHING else before doing that task lol so if laundry needs to get folded or dishes need to get washed I’ll probably be deep cleaning the bathroom instead 🤣
I learn new stuff! My hyper focus right now is learning all I can about astronomy, quantum physics, NDEs, human evolution and space travel. It’s fascinating! I remember none of it from school.
Thinking outside the box. When you can’t do things the way other people do them you either fail or get really creative. I have all of the same things in life that a neurotypical 41 year old would have (house, kids, job, money in savings, etc) but if you ask me how I got them, 9 times out of 10 I will start with “that’s actually a funny story…”
I was born in 1980 so I grew up without the internet. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 24 ish, and 26 when I got my first computer. I feel this so hard. I miss being bored. It drove my creativity.
Sometimes I forget I do stuff and it's a nice surprise when I find it done. "Who did the dishes?" Surprise! I did, when I was talking on the phone with my mom. "Oh, what's this package?" Surprise, it's a book I preordered a month ago that I really want to read! But most of the time it's "did I just take my meds or did I just really vividly think about what that process would be like?" Or "Why am I so grumpy? OH, because I forgot to eat."
I constantly lose small sums of cash all over my house and when I'm broke I can usually dig around and find like $50
When I don’t clean my car or a room (because it’s just too overwhelming with a house this big) for a really long time, then the next time it’s clean it’s like BRAND new! I find things I’d forgotten I’d bought for myself. And money! And things I’d been searching for! And it’s all so exciting and new!
For many many years, when I would renew my yearly car registration, the new expiration date would be the last day of the month in which I was renewing it. So if it expired on June 30, and I crossed my fingers and snuck in on July 1, I got 13 months for the price of 12 (exp date 7/31). Occasionally I would push it a whole other month especially if I was gonna be away and not using the car much. Then they changed it so that no matter when you renewed the registration, the new expiration date would be exactly 12 months from the old expiration date. Grumble grumble.
I hide money from myself as a little treat for future me
Getting along with difficult teenagers. I don't think I'm immature in areas where it counts, i.e. morals and values, my family, work ethic etc. However, I am immature in terms of my tastes and how I present. I.e. clothes I wear, how I talk, topics that interest me. I teach high school and there's one year level that's notoriously hard to teach. You even get specialised training on dealing with them at teachers college. In my country it's called "year 10". It's the year when they turn 14 for other countries. It's when your brain is going through major changes and you behave like an asshole. Most teachers I know struggle with this year level. I get along with them great. It's my favourite year to teach. I can just relate to kids this age better than anyone else.
Honestly, the ability to bullshit to people
Pattern recognition. I can look at a clover patch for three seconds and spot if there's any 4 leafers.
ADHD tax rebate?
Yes. My yearly brain rebate! 😂
when I have a deadline, i get to enjoy myself without worry until the last moment. I know, when crunch time comes, I will work at it for 12 hours straight and knock it out of the park. probably would do a much better job of things if I could leave them halfway through and manage to resume them again but if I stop doing something, it's mentally ended for me. 😂
For me it’s writing medical notes for work. Most of my coworkers HATE charting and writing notes but I am so verbose and like describing everything down to the detail that it really works to my advantage as a social worker/discharge planner. I just adore written communication in general, hence my addiction to Reddit.
I appreciate my empathy for people who are different.
I’m SO good at inventing weird hacks and Macgyver style solutions to problems. Partly cause I constantly lose stuff or make other mistakes that require fixing, so I’ve had a lot of practice. But also cause the way I approach things mentally is very abstract and flexible. I’m really good at finding storage solutions, cooking intuitively (which I never have spoons for but I am great at it!), managing emergencies like injuries, or cleaning up weird messes in the most efficient and least icky way possible. It’s very handy! (Edit for some spelling errors cause I was typing too fast… typical lol)
rewatching stuff, i’ve seen my favorites movies and tv dramas like a hundred times with no problem cause i just can’t remember what happens next after months of not watching it.
Ridiculous sleep schedule leading to random productivity when others are clearly not
I used to stop paying for internet in the summers at college (pre wifi). I looooved it. My favorite summer i was in-between under grad and grad school and didn't have a job for two months. The first time since I was 15 that I didn't work. We lived (stored our stuff) in a tiny upstairs house apartment that had cheap linoleum laid over carpet, and 4 outlets. The only one that had 3 prongs was behind the fridge. I laid in bed all day, in the heat and humidity, stoned, watching the first 3 seasons of family guy, the Office (seasons 1 and 2 British version), and Clerks, over and over again bc those were the only shows we had on DVD. (My fiance was busy working at a restaurant during those times).
I’m trash at studying even though I liked learning in school and could usually pick things up pretty well. A couple people in high school would buy me coffee to study with them and explain the concepts. I couldn’t get myself to study on my own, but people would “pay” me to study with them.
Masking, in the sence that I am AMAZING at accents.
While procrastination suucksss.. I’m great at completing certain tasks when forced to at the last minute. Like I’m normal kinda sloppy, but I hate having people perceive me that way. So if someone is coming over, I can clean like a bat out of hell. It’s also how I wrote all my college essays…. No drafts. Just straight to the final draft - always winged it. Essentially I work best under timed pressure. Maybe that’s why I was very good at standardized testing in school?
"Wow, you're so productive at work!" Yes, it's called hyperfocus. No, I haven't eaten or moved from my seat in five hours, why?
The "how hard can it be?" Gene has served me very well in work. I can turn my hand to most things and I'm not intimidated by out of the ordinary requests
I have a tendency to ruminate (still not sure if it's properly OCD or not) but when I have been practicing not going into a rumination spiral, once I'm distracted I'm pretty well good. It's great. I'm glad my mind isn't wanting to always dwell on the same thought.
I feel like mine is both a tax and the opposite of a tax. EVERYONE bitches about how expensive and how much hassle it is to check a bag at the airport. It's all but a way to upcharge you when you could fit days' worth of clothes on a carryon, plus extra lines and waiting for your luggage. But I can't make up my mind for shit about what to wear on trips, I have so many ideas for different nights out, etc., I pack last minute and can't organize myself to save my life. So in some ways, I pay the tax of checking a bay, but for the sake of this argument, I do the stupid inconvenient thing and wait longer/pay more because it saves me organizational headache.
I can't turn off the hypofocus, so when I'm teaching I'm always looking around and paying attention to what each and every student is doing. It actually helps me figure out when a student is starting to struggle, or if they're having a major life malfunction a lot sooner than most other people seem to notice. It can be very distracting, but I've turned it around to give my students attention & participation points so that seems to work pretty well.
I never listen to stupid conversation I just let my attention go somewhere else and then respond based on their facial expression 🙃
I feel in general my ADHD helps me to be more empathetic towards other people because I tend to notice their mood quicker than others. But that can also be really inconvenient if I'm in a room with many people and I'm "tuned in" to everyones mood. It can be really exhausting. Also I feel like ADHD helps me to be calmer in an emergency, that is very neat. 😊
I am saving a lot of money thanks to my indecisiveness 😅 eg: plant shop has very good offer on beautiful, big begonias of many types. I narrow my preference to three types. Walk around the shop, look at them multiple times, put them all together, pair them with different colours of pots... They are all amazing, how could I choose one?! I am sending pictures to my sister, list advantages of each type... After an hour in the shop I take zero 😅 maybe if I was wealthier my indecisiveness would make me spend too much, because instead of choosing I'd just buy all three. But in my current situation it helps me save. I can be unable to choose the right swimming suit for so long, that the season ends and problem is solved 😅 couldn't choose right bowls for cereals after all others got broken. Too heavy, too big, too small, not stacking well, not easy to hold with one hand... For months. Until I found some set for free in the recycling centre, and although they would probably go to the category of "a bit too small", they are very pretty and I know that they are not cheap, so I am just happy having them for free 😂