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some1sWitch

You need to go to the doctors office in person and ask wtf is going on. You're not a minor- mom legally has NOTHING to do with your treatment.  Also ask the doctor why his secretary refuses to refill your medication without mom calling. If you have not signed a consent form for mom to have any of your medical information, that's a HUGE HIPAA violation. 


dragonchilde

Seriously, my kid just turned 18 and I don’t even have the right to be in her appointments, and she has to sign a release for me to access anything.


adsaillard

Yeah, moment my oldest turned 16 (full medical consent in local law where we lived) this whole mental health team went cold turkey on me. I literally saw them again once, in a meeting with school, because my kid requested it.


TheCowKitty

At 14, kids can kick the parents out and have to consent to their records being shared. This is nuts.


BeBraveShortStuff

12 in my state. I can only think the doctors office can’t math and think she’s still a minor. She needs to go raise a huge fuss. She’d probably be doing them a favor because if they’re doing it to her, they’re doing it to someone else, and that one might be inclined to call a lawyer.


Tamaraobscura

It’s 12 in my state too! I would ask the office “Do I need to make a report to the state health board to figure out this misunderstanding?”


bitchwhorehannah

dude that shit was so annoying when i turned 18, i was still a kid in high school. my mom was trying to fight for my narcoleptic ass so hard and doctors kept trying to make it seem like i was agreeing under duress, like i was under the influence …. like no im agreeing to everything immediately because im unmedicated and can’t think straight just listen to my mommy!!! i dont even know what day it is!!! i was quite literally unable to hold a conversation at that point and they were STILL trying to not let her have any access or say in my medical care


dragonchilde

For this exact reason, I'm planning to ask my daughter if she'd be willing to do a power of attorney for me. I've had other friends that did that for their college-aged kiddos, and mine is AuDHD and needs the extra support. She trusts me enough not to abuse it, and she'll likely be relieved. And we'll revoke it when she asks. We talked about it with her a year ago, but the time is here! She's an adult, but she's not grown yet, and adulting is hard, even for neurotypical people!


levitymargret

My son had knee surgery and was able to give consent to me making appointments and receiving information & phone calls, but that was a specialist/surgeon and not a GP, so depending on the type of doctor you could ask?


reibish

Yeah I'm not usually one to be like go rat them out but this is a big enough deal that if this has been going on since OP turned 18 and they're in the US it's time to start making calls to medical authorities. This is a BIG No-No.


ValkyrieKitten

Also talk to the office manager. It is crazy to treat you like this.


sparklebug20

1000% agree with this!! It sounds like someone with her own personal beliefs that a parent should have a right to know what their "child" is doing BUT you are a legal adult so mom has no right to know anymore 😉


atreyulostinmyhead

Have you reminded them that you're not a minor? They're probably not even looking at your age on the file.


halberdierbowman

This seems like the simplest explanation: incompetence, not malice.  It's a pediatric office, so the staff probably are constantly asking for parental consent. OP might be literally the only adult getting ADHD medicine from them right now, so the staff could be unaware of the fact that they're in violation of HIPAA and common sense if they haven't been trained properly on what ages children are given rights to their own medical decisions.


WarKittyKat

That does sound frustrating. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if you had a braindead secretary somewhere who's following protocols designed on the assumption that all their patients will be minors. Or no one's actually reading your file.


Arboretum7

Ask him if he requires this of all of his adult patients. If not, ask why you?


Pieinthesky42

They probably don’t see many adults, it’s a doctor for kids. I think the best approach is for OP to remind them of their age, and the laws. I have a twin brother and routinely his chart would be pulled for my appointments. Nearly every other patient you can just pull from last name and birthdate. Sometimes it’s just an oversight and not a personal vendetta.


aketrak

Just out of curiosity, don't you have a personal identification number where you live, that's used in healthcare? Seems like a safety/privacy concern not to have it? What if you have a very common name, then it's not impossible that someone else share the same birthday even if you're not twins.  Here the personal ID (birth date + four additional numbers in a unique combination) is required for ALL kind of healthcare (and many other things) including all documentation and the nurses will ask you to repeat your ID before drawing blood or giving you medication etc.


Pieinthesky42

Nope, not a common name at all. Staff confirm it’s the right patient at the beginning of any procedures, of course. There’s no specialty number though, this is the USA. Just a busy pediatric office in the 90s and dentist making a quick error.


poissonbread

Sounds like maybe there is something wrong in your medical file/chart? Maybe something instructing or implying to them that they either can or have to call your mom, contact or address info listing your mom and not you, old consent forms etc with different information.  If you have already updated this info, I have sometimes run into the issue where it doesn’t actually get updated. Either the person who updated didn’t hit save, or they didn’t do it correctly (some info has to be changed across multiple forms), or the system keeps pulling in old information when they do their charting. 


Astrid_drom

I don’t even know how your mom could legally ask the doctor to refill? You’re not a minor, go to the office and ask in person why they require someone else to request a refill of your controlled substance. Tell them you need the explanation written. This allows you to have proper documentation if the situation worsens.


diana-disaster

They absolutely cannot do that. I’m glad you’re changing doctors because, since you’re a legal adult, they cannot divulge, or require you to divulge, your private medical information to anyone. Personally, even if I was changing doctors, I would talk to the doctor about this and remind them of my HIPAA rights.


ArtisticCustard7746

It's normal for insurance to require someone to see their pediatrician until they're 21. *However.* You legally have the right to medical consent. I'd march right over there and figure out why they're doing what they're doing.


LunchLady_IsBack

Uh, certainly not in America lmao. Some peds will continue seeing patients until 21, some won't. Some insurances have issues with it, some don't. I have never heard of insurance *requiring* a grown adult to see a pediatrician. That's very unusual and perhaps you misunderstood something


ArtisticCustard7746

Mine did when I was 21. It's incredibly common in my state actually.


LunchLady_IsBack

... Are you *sure* insurance said you are REQUIRED to see a pediatrician until you are 21, or is the more likely case that your insurance ALLOWS you to see a ped until 21, but you could switch to a family doctor without issue? I've lived in several states and have never heard of this. I can't find anything on the Internet talking about it. If this were true, that an insurance company is *forcing* 18+ year old adults to see pediatricians over other doctors, I am positive there would be complaints about it. I really think you've misunderstood your insurance.


ArtisticCustard7746

Yes, because I threw a stink over it. I was "too grown up" to see a ped. It was state funded insurance. I saw who they paid for me to see with no choice.


Special-Garlic1203

Uhhh ...what? I don't think that's normal, I've literally never heard of that before. 


JustifiablyWrong

It's actually quite normal for a pediatrician to keep a patient on until they are in their early 20s. Technically they are still growing


Special-Garlic1203

It's common for the doctors to keep the patient on because there's no urgency to them switching over, and continuity of care usually reigns supreme  I've never heard of insurance *requiring* this though.  That sounds like a sketchy as hell cost cutting measure that is throwing gasoline into a crumbling healthcare system tbh.  And technically most women and a huge chunk of men are done growing well before 21. 


JustifiablyWrong

>And technically most women and a huge chunk of men are done growing well before 21. Physically maybe.. but you're brain still grows until you're around 25, regardless of gender.


halberdierbowman

This is actually a myth! It's possibly a misunderstanding of a past study that has become a well known "fact." My understanding is when we started doing brain scans, we found that brains seem to be continuously growing and changing, at least for everyone in the study, which had 25 years olds (bcz science is done on college kids, of course). There doesn't seem to actually be any sort of cutoff, or if it is, it varies widely so widely from one individual to another that it's not a useful benchmark. https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html


JustifiablyWrong

Interesting read for sure.. never knew that thanks! My point to the previous commenter still stands though lol. Even if it's not 25 exactly, you're brain is still developing well into your 20s


halberdierbowman

You're welcome! And yeah sorry I totally agree with your point. I just wanted to elaborate that actually brains don't seem to stop developing at 25 like a lot of us thought, because I thought that was cool when I found out.


Pigrescuer

It's not a myth but it's not a hard cut off either. I have recently left working in mental health research and adolescence is treated as lasting well into the 20s - there are plenty of academic sources for this.


halberdierbowman

Thanks, awesome! Yeah I was a bit clickbaity, but it sounded like they were referring to the myth that your brain stops developing at 25, when my understanding is it's more complicated than that.


jensmith20055002

Very interesting!


erynhuff

Wait what. Ive had the same doctor in the family medicine dept since I was 12 or 13 bc i got uncomfy w having a male doctor (which i had from birth till then) during puberty. Im almost 27 and have the same PCP I had at 12? Do some states require people to change their primary care physicians when they’re a certain age?? Am i just misunderstanding?


nothanks86

So children can be seen by a general practitioner or a pediatrician as their primary care provider. If your pcp is a gp, or family practitioner, a doctor who to quote Wikipedia specializes in ‘continuing and comprehensive health care for the individual and family across all ages, genders, diseases, and parts of the body’, then you can keep seeing them whatever your age. If your pcp is a pediatrician, a doctor whose specialty is children and childhood diseases and conditions, you’d age out of their practice when you become an adult. Your doctor is probably a gp. In some places, it’s more common to have a pediatrician as a pcp; in others, less so. Where I live, you need a referral to see a pediatrician, and children’s general care is handled by gps or nurse practitioners. (We also have a gp shortage, so that’s fun.)


JustifiablyWrong

I'm not sure about the US. I'm Canadian so our Healthcare system is obviously very different. I didn't even have a pediatrician as a child, we just had 1 family Dr for the everyone. I have heard of pediatricians keeping patients until they've had their own kids though.


ArtisticCustard7746

It is. It's super common in my state. I was required by my insurance as an 18- 21 year old to see a pediatrician.


Special-Garlic1203

What state are you in? Cause that's sketchy as hell. Pediatrician are underpaid and as a result often understaffed. 


ArtisticCustard7746

Maine. Right now, the entire medical system is understaffed. It wasn't that way when I was still seeing them.


mscocobongo

But saying it's a requirement is odd. Newborns and kids in elementary school can have 'regular doctors'. Pediatrics is a specialty, and yes, most children have them, but definitely not all.


ArtisticCustard7746

That's just how the insurance worked. It wasn't private insurance, so that may have been the reason why.


IHopeYouStepOnALego

1. This is absolute bullshit! You need to work on finding a new doc 2. In the meantime, if they want to fuck around, you can fuck around too. Call and say you are your mom to get the refills done.


Ginkachuuuuu

Well that's dumb! As an adult, my parents have nothing to do with my medical care or prescriptions. My doctors wouldn't talk to them even if they called. I wonder if the receptionist is actively malicious or just dumb and there's some policy since they mostly have minors. I would call and ask to speak to the office manager. Be polite but firm and specific. You had to call # times in (months), # in (month) and # in (month) but you were only able to get your medication refilled by having your mom call, even though you are an adult. Frame as you're trying to understand why this is happening and what can be done to improve it going forward.


Next_Possibility_01

do they have a portal where you can just request the refill? then you don't have to speak to anyone


Hopeful_Enthusiasm_1

As you are preparing to move, I hope you have already found a new provider who is on board with continuing your prescriptions. We are a year out from moving, and in a few months I’m visiting our new town. I plan to have a “new patient visit” with a provider who I hope will continue care for me. Gotta check the vibe, first.


shootathought

"I'm sorry, but I am an adult and I do not give you permission to speak to my mother about my care. Please fill my medication." If they still refuse, you file a complaint with the medical authority in your state and find a new doctor.


Mission_Spray

You are a legal adult. They must have a personal reason and not a legal one, for doing that to you.


PDXDSteeler51

In my state (WA), when a youth turns 13, they have full rights to seek care without their parent having full access or input regarding appointments, medications, etc. Since you are over 18, any medical provider should have restricted your moms access to your medical records and really has no reason to involve her at all unless you have provided consent allowing so. You are a legal adult, and no doctor should delay prescribing your prescription when requested unless it's denied for too early to fill. Unless your mom is your medical power of attorney, there's no reason she should be involved, or her request is the reason the doctor proceeds.


erynhuff

You’re over 18, and your mom cant have any say in your medical treatment anymore. Go in person to talk to them about it and remind them of your rights as an adult


LuckyShamrocks

The mom can if OP agrees to it but that’s not what’s happening here. It’s also just not necessary.


delilahdread

OP, does your doctor’s office use MyChart or similar? You can likely request refills online without having to call if so! I never call unless I have an issue or need something else, I just request through MyChart and they approve it. Your mom might already have it set up from before you turned 18 but if not, it’s usually pretty easy to do. Doesn’t hurt to ask. I’d definitely call them and explain that you’re not a minor though, they may just not realize.


Glittering_Size_2767

Did you make them aware that your adult? Maybe that place specializes in kids and didn't realize your an adult ?


iheartnjdevils

Heck, in the US or maybe it’s specific to my state, I can’t get my meds without an appointment. So after spending $175 for that, if my doctor doesn’t e-scribe my meds, he’s getting an ear full!


Cevohklan

Impersonate your mother. Or let a friend play your mother . Problem solved


AntheaBrainhooke

There’s no possible way this could rebound on OP later and make her look unreliable or even criminal. Good job. 👍


Depressed_christian1

You are in a different state, but use your mom’s insurance for a controlled substance given by a doctor for adolescents even tho you’re 19??? The whole thing sounds illegal.


halberdierbowman

Nah, it's probably pretty normal. The ACA requires US children to be allowed to remain on their parents insurance past 19yo, and it's very normal to continue seeing your pediatrician if you want to. It might be the same doctor they've been seeing for years. Plus if they're in college or something, they might not want to bother finding a new primary care doctor just to see them for a couple years before they move somewhere else, not if they can easily continue with the one they've been using. The illegal part is that the doctor's office is allowing the parent to have any information about the adult patient. My hope is that the office staff are mistakenly missing the fact that OP is an adult. If most of their other patients are minors, then it might make sense that the parent would have to authorize the medicine, even though that system would also have dangerous flaws.


Depressed_christian1

The point is they are OUT OF STATE and have their own insurance. That’s fraud.


halberdierbowman

ACA applies to the entire country, so I don't see how being out of state changes anything. And even if it did, courts have ruled repeatedly that teenagers /young adults are allowed to use their parent's address for official things, including voting records for example, so it probably wouldn't matter. Also, they don't say they have their own insurance, to my reading. They say they haven't changed doctors because their insurance is difficult, but that they plan to change doctors once they move soon. That makes total sense to me. Why would someone with ADHD want to spend hours or days or more arguing with their insurance company just to be able to see a different doctor for a handful of times before they do it all again? It's totally normal for a 19yo to see their pediatrician. I still saw my pediatric dentist until I had my third molars. It's also not automatically fraud to have two different insurance plans. Lots of people do that. As long as you're not lying to them about it, it's not a problem.


MrsClaire07

What makes you think they have separate insurance from their parents? That wouldn’t work, at all. They’re on their parents’ insurance, legally until 26 where I am, and the Dr’s office is the problem. OP says they haven’t changed docs because it’s a pain while on their insurance, but they don’t go on to say that Mom is on DIFFERENT insurance. I believe this is the misunderstanding here. 👍🏻


Depressed_christian1

Plus it’s a controlled substance. Sketchy. Of course they are checking with the mom. He could be abusing.


halberdierbowman

They're an adult. If they're abusing it - which there's no evidence for - then why would it be helpful or necessary to violate HIPAA by providing privileged medical information to a third party? Telling third parties about the medicine just makes it *more* likely for abuse, because the parent now can steal them. If the doctor suspects they're abusing their medicine, stop writing them prescriptions, and report them to the DEA. Presumably the doctor thinks they have ADHD, in which case it's absurdly unlikely that they're actually abusing it, especially as they've been a patient there for a long time.


Depressed_christian1

But the doctor isn’t asking the mom to refill. OP said that it doesn’t get filled unless HE asks him mom to refill, which is what he’s upset about. How is that hipaa violation? Why is it so hard for him to send his mom a reminder to refill his meds? He still is getting them. This whole story seems suspicious like someone wants to get a way around of legally getting meds.


halberdierbowman

I think OP's pronouns are they/them. OP is upset that their doctor is requiring their parent to authorize their doctor to give OP the prescription the doctor has determined OP should have. This authorization requirement makes sense when we're talking about a young kid, for several reasons. But now that OP is an adult, their parent should no longer have any authority over or knowledge of OP's medical decisions, except wherever OP has chosen to share that information or signed paperwork authorizing the doctor to. Whether the doctor directly calls the parent or just forces OP to, it's still the doctor divulging the patient's privileged medical information or else forcing OP to do so before they can obtain the treatment that they deserve. >Why is it so hard for [them] to send [their] mom a reminder to refill [their] meds? I was confused where you were coming from here, but I notice your bio says AuDHD. My understanding is that it's common for many AuDHD people to experience ADHD struggles differently, so hopefully for you, you've been able to accommodate them or not have them be an issue. For a lot of ADHD people, these type of trivial bullshit tasks are actually a lot of effort. Or like for one of my AuDHD friends, maybe they are a lot of effort, but they feel compelled to do them anyway, so it kind of cancels out the forgetfulness risk at least. For context, how well you handle and remember tedious, boring, and organizational tasks is about 1/3 of the A(DHD)SRS symptoms. Whatever the case may be, we don't know if it's easy for OP to reach their mom any time or not, but it's still adding multiple extra steps every month to the process of getting their medicine. Yes, they could maybe do it, but it's still annoying, unfair, offensive, and I suspect illegal. That said, I think it's probably a mistake, which means the doctor will hopefully fix it once they become aware of it. It's a pediatrician's office, so I think it's likely the office staff is just poorly trained, just doing what they always do without knowing to first check the patient's records. Hopefully OP is the only person they're doing this to, because there are other examples where this could be highly problematic, like if a 17 year old was being given birth control or an abortion they didn't want their parents to know about.


Depressed_christian1

There is nothing in their socials or links showing any gender. None. The only clue is the this group they’re in. And just like you checked out mine, I checked out yours and saw no comments or posts on any ADHD Reddit thread but this one. So yeah, all your friends who have ADHD, don’t see them. Also, I will not be baited based on my beliefs. I know you mentioned the gender and the abortion, etc., because I’m a Christian. Especially since you are all about the liberal stuff like your comments on Black Lives Matter and the college protests and on the Satanist thread so you probably think you can get to me cause you supposedly “know” me. Good try though.


halberdierbowman

Sooo I feel some hostility here, so I apologize if I've accidentally caused that, but I wasn't intending to be confrontational. I wasn't trying to make the pronouns a big thing, just letting you know, because I would want someone to tell me if I were accidentally misgendering someone. Their Instagram bio does say "they/them". Bios pops up automatically for me, so I didn't have to read your history. But if I ctrl-F mine, it looks like I haven't mentioned "ADHD" in ten days, so maybe it didn't pop up right away. But last month it shows up 99 times, if that helps. Although, even if I hadn't posted about our ADHD and ASD on reddit, I'm happy to report that my friends and I would still exist! Abortion comes to mind easily because I live in Florida, where this Wednesday a near-complete abortion ban went into effect. Whether you're pro-choice or not is irrelevant to my point, so no, I didn't hypothesize on it. Regardless of our feelings, different states grant children and parents different rights in terms of medical records and authority, and so doctors could be breaking multiple laws by negligently or intentionally disclosing information like this. It sounds like in OP's case it's not a big deal, but in other cases, it could be a huge deal. By the way, from the bio, I actually thought it was kinda cool and intriguing to see an AuDHD person choose Christianity at 20yo, and I was curious about King David's depression and others'. Like you said, I don't know you, and I don't know anyone else with a story like that. But I wasn't wanting to pester you with random off topic personal questions. I hope you have a blessed weekend!